All language subtitles for Call Your Mother s01e07 Feelings.eng

Jackie, honey,

you've alphabetized
my whole house.

Are you okay?

You have paprika
before cumin.

Are you okay?
[ Chuckles ]

It's just
since you broke up with Hank,

you've been a little...

Salt goes on the table,
crazy!

[ Chuckles ]
...intense.

It's understandable.

It's not just
the breakup.

You quit your job
on impulse,

and now you have
no money coming in.

This pep talk is a lot like
the one you gave me

after I lost student council,
and you consoled me with,

"It's just
a popularity contest."

I said it then,
and I'll say it now.

Smart girls don't need
to be popular.

Honey,
I'm worried about you.

Don't be.
Hank was way too old for me.

It's not like commercial
real-estate management

was my dream job.

This is a chance
to reset my life.

[ Door opens ]
And your life.

Oh, God,
she got you, too.

And his life.
[ Door closes ]

I'm told
my bras are next.

What's to organize?

There's one sport,
two beige,

a lacy purple number
for my annual mole patrol

with my cute
dermatologist.

Oh, and a leftover nursing bra,
because you never know.

Oh, I think we know.

It's been a nightmare
at our place.

I mean, I couldn't even take
a shower this morning

because she was cleaning
the grout in the tub.

I got a new grout pen.
What was I supposed to do?

You're going through
a breakup.

You're supposed to use
the bathtub for crying

and eating
your feelings.

I'm not a Gilmore girl.
I'm an adult woman.

And I'm unemployed now.

I have time to improve
the world around me.

I'm like Gandhi.

She's worked
her whole life.

When she was 13,
she got a fake I.D.

just so she could work
at Dairy Queen.

You need to focus on
having some fun, sweetie.

Yeah,
this is your Renaissance.

Or your rock bottom.

Both look the same
on you.

Either way,
now is your time to play.

Lane's right.
You're young.

You have
no responsibilities.

Go out and grab yourself
a Bloody Mary.

I'm not really
a Bloody Mary person.

I don't like my alcohol
to taste like soup.

You know what?

I'm going out with
my new friends from voice class.

They're crazy fun.
You're coming with us.

Why?

Because you're stuck.

You're replacing feelings
with weird busywork.

It's not healthy.
It's sad.

And your sad
is making me sad.

It's what
she's always done.

When she lost that job
at Dairy Queen,

she still snuck in
to do their inventory.

Oh, Lane's right.
You need to get out.

Live it up.
Let your hair down. Get out.

You said "get out"
twice.

Don't read into it, baby.
Just get out.

Bye, you guys.
Have a great time.

I'll just be here,
thinking about you.

Hey, how's, uh --
how's Jackie doing?

Yeah, we don't need to do
all that.

Oh, good.

***

***

-- Captions by VITAC --

[ Both moaning ]

I'm glad we decided
that kissing was okay. Yeah, me, too.

We've kissed like 15 times
in 2 days. Ooh.

I mean, I had to replace
my ChapStick.

Oh, God.
Danny, you're counting?

Sorry. Sorry.
It's a habit.

I-I used to have this contest
over the summer

with my mate Brendo,
and my record was always two.

Oh.
And one of those was my Nana.

And the other one
was my other Nana.

I'm having
a much better year.

I'm glad.
But you can stop now. Okay.

Actually, do you mind
if I quickly call Brendo?

I'm like 14 kisses away
from his record.

[ Chuckles ]
This is okay, right?

Okay?
I would say it's great.

I'd say
it's better than great.

I mean, except for that one
where my lip bled.

Oh, sorry about that.
I have a sharp tooth.

It comes in handy
with those pistachios

that aren't
all the way open.

[ Moans ]

Actually, why did you ask
if this was okay?

Are you okay?
Oh, yeah.

I just...wanted to make sure
that we were in the clear. Yeah.

I-It's just I know
that you're separated,

but, technically,
you're still married.

Mm.
I mean, I know it's just kissing.

Yeah, it's just --

I mean, in Europe,
that's like a handshake.

In Australia, we call kissing
"the European handshake."

Do you?
No, but I really want that record.

But -- But, seriously,

I-I-I don't want to make you
feel guilty or anything.

Like, I'll do
whatever you want to do.

I just want to kiss.

I was hoping
that's what you wanted to do.

Ow! Ow!
Oh, sorry.

No, it's good --
it's a good --

it's a good "ow."
Oh, okay.

***

Oh, hey, babe.

Um, is it okay
if I take the two top shelves

of this closet?

Yeah.
You don't have to ask me.

This is our place now,
baby.

You are my fiancée.

I know.
It's exciting.

But let's be chill
about it.

You know,
fiancée like Beyoncé.

Fiancée.
Uh, hold that thought.

With all this
moving-in craziness,

I've gotten super behind
on my sponsored Instagram posts.

The brands
are getting pissed.

Do me a favor
and hold this for me, m'kay?

Okay.
What do I have to say?

Oh, no,
you'll be muted for sure.

I just need visuals
of your cute face.

[ Chuckles ] Yeah.

Is this energy drink
safe?

The warning label says,
"See you on the other side."

Oh, yeah.
No, that's just fun marketing.

Um, but don't drink
more than one

or you give up your right
to pursue legal action.

Ah.
[ Can hisses ]

Well, this is great.

Mm-hmm.

Ew. This burns.
[ Camera shutter clicking ]

But everything else
is great.

[ Coughs ]
Mm-hmm.

Oh,
I thought your clothes

would take up more space
in our closet,

but it is a perfect fit,
just like us.

Totes.
Plus, it's easier

'cause I'll still keep most
of my clothes at my apartment.

Uh, because you're leaving them
for the next renter?

No, because
I'm keeping my apartment.

What are you
talking about?

Freddie, don't get dramatic.
It's just a backup.

You know,
it's like car insurance.

I didn't want to smash into
that telephone pole,

but when I did,
I was glad to have it.

And I don't want anything bad
to happen between us,

but if it does,
I'm glad to know

that I have hardwood floors,
a peek of the ocean,

and original
Hollywood Regency molding.

It doesn't say "diarrhea"
on here.

Freddie, it's okay.

I already moved
the most important thing here --

my heart.
[ Chuckles ]

And my pug pillow.
[ Squeals ]

Also important.
Yay!

It's like having
a real pug.

Have we kissed
in the kitchen yet?

We have. But we haven't kissed
in my kitchen.

The tile's different.

Let's do it.
Yeah, yeah.

Oh!
Hey. Hello, Freddie.

Hi, honey.

I was just going over
to Danny's to...

replace his carpet with...
other carpet.

And then
we were going to -- Jean, stop. Stop.

Hey, Mom,
I-I need to talk to you.

Oh, honey, it's fine.

People do it in Europe
all the time.

Ew! God!

You guys were doing it?

No, just kissing.

I don't know why,
but that's worse.

Just don't tell me
any more.

The less you say,
the less I'll picture.

I-I'm gonna go back to my place
and, uh, clean the tile.

Uh, which is also from Europe,
interestingly enough.

You can just leave,
Danny.

Yeah, copy that. Yep.
Ciao, ciao.

What's going on,
honey? [ Sighs ]

Well, Celia's
moving in with me,

but she's keeping
her apartment.

That's weird, right?

That does seem weird.
Yeah.

It's like she wants to keep
one foot out the door.

One foot out the door?
[ Chuckles ] What?

Does she think
she can do better than you?

She can't.
Believe me, I've tried.

Hey, Mom, I-I'm engaged.
You're kissing a guy.

Maybe it's time to stop
saying things like that.

Okay.

But just know
that I believe it.

[ Sighs ]
I just think Celia's scared.

And she doesn't even know
this weirdness.

She's never seen
a successful relationship.

Her parents divorced
when she was super young,

and then they both got remarried
and divorced again.

I just think
she's having trouble

believing in
the "happily ever after." Mm.

I knew
she had trust issues,

but I thought once we were
engaged, she was past it.

Do you think...

Can you go talk to her?

Why me?

I mean, she needs someone
in her life

who's had a stable,
successful marriage.

And, plus, Mom,
she kind of worships you.

Worships?

That makes sense.

Oh,
I could talk to her.

Our family's full
of happy, stable marriages.

My Grandpa and Grammy
were married for 67 years.

She died at his funeral.

They used the same hole.

You know, Mom,
I know you love that story,

but maybe make it sound
a little bit more romantic.

What's more romantic
than that?

Okay, fine.
I'll skip the death hole.

***

[ Indistinct conversations ]

I am starving.
What is taking so long?

I thought you made
a reservation.

So it's taking longer.
No big deal.

We still have bar snacks
and each other.

Yeah. Fun is about
the in-between moments.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I'm in between rage
and a one-star Yelp review.

This place freshly picks their
ingredients for every order,

so timing can be
unpredictable.

Sometimes, they let the guests
pick their own parsley

from the rooftop garden.

It's so fun.

Do you know
what's fun?

Is when you pick something
from the menu,

and then they bring it
to you.

Excuse me?

We've been waiting
for 20 minutes.

We had a reservation.

Oh, yes.
I'm so sorry.

We'll seat you as soon as
there's a table available.

There are at least
three empty tables.

We reserve three tables
for walk-ups.

It's policy.

Okay, can we cancel
our reservation

and say
that we're a walk-up?

That wouldn't be fair
to the real walk-ups.

That's policy.

Okay,
my friends and I

are trying to have
a really fun night,

and I don't think your manager
would apprec--

We're happy to wait.
I'm so sorry.

Please let us bring the farm
to our table.

Jackie, tonight was supposed
to be about you having fun,

but you're making it
really hard.

Like, I didn't know fun
could be hard.

Okay, I can be fun,
alright?

I would be a lot more fun
with a napkin on my lap,

but I can be fun.

Yes.
That's the spirit.

Go grab yourself a drink.

Okay, well, who's gonna light
a fire under Little Miss Policy?

I'll take care of her.

You just go show them
why you put on mascara tonight.

Can you pretend I'm heated
and pushing really hard

for our table to satisfy
my type-"A" friend over there?

I also work
in customer service,

so I know how thankless
this job can be.

You're doing great.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are we doing?

I-I thought when I said
have a drink,

you were gonna have,
like, a Chardonnay,

not drink like a prospector
coming into town for supplies.

Relax.
We're just doing a shot.

Shot!
Three shots!

Uh-oh.
You said "shot."

You got to take a shot.
Got to take a shot.

Jackie,
maybe pace yourself.

Lane said
"pace yourself."

You got to take a shot!
Got to take a shot.

That's -- That's not
how drinking games work.

He said "work."
You got to take a shot!

[ Chuckles ]

"Have fun."
I'm really fun.

I'm being so fun right now,
it's crazy.

***

Oh, hi.
Hi.

So excited
that you're here.

Finally have
some one-on-one time.

Oh, I was thrilled
when you called.

I need a necklace model
for one of my sponsored posts.

You want me to model?

That makes sense.

The brand wants me
to promote this to my followers

as the perfect gift
for moms and grandmas. Huh.

They asked for
a mature clavicle. Ugh.

I just wanted to, um,
you know, check in,

make sure
that you were doing okay.

So much has happened
since the engagement. Mm.

Everything okay
with you? Totally.

Okay.
Give me more. [ Camera shutter clicking ]

[ Chuckles ]
Less.

Give me none.
I'll do it.

Why aren't you giving up
your apartment?

What? Oh,
did Freddie tell you that?

I knew he wasn't going
to get pizza.

Look, Jean,
it's no big deal.

The apartment's
just my backup,

because, you know, love dies,
and it's rent-controlled.

Love dies?
And it's rent-controlled.

Give me
a little hair toss.

You know what, Celia?
Sit down.

I-I want to tell you
about my Grammy and Grandpa.

Jean, Freddie has nothing
to worry about.

I've just seen
a lot of relationships end.

I saw my mom fall in
and out of a million of them,

never thinking about
her future.

Every time she got the hots
for some guy,

she'd just run headfirst
and end up losing everything.

I'm just
protecting myself.

Like you're protecting yourself
with Danny.

Oh, we're nowhere near the stuff
that needs protection yet.

I've seen the chemistry
between you two.

But until those divorce papers
are signed,

you're not giving away
anything.

Right.

Certainly wouldn't
give it away 17 times.

Yeah, and I learned
from watching you,

because who knows
what's gonna happen?

I've seen it all.

His ex-wife could come back
at the last minute,

get the house,
and where are you gonna live?

She could do that?
I've seen it all.

Or maybe they reconcile.

They could do that?
I've seen it all.

What about me?

He might want to keep you
on the side,

but you're not gonna
want to do that.

Unless you do.
I don't.

No judgment.
I said I've seen it all.

That's why you stick
to your guns, am I right?

Okay, now pretend like you
fell asleep watching the news.

Okay.
Mm-hmm.

[ Sighs ]
But don't block the necklace.

Oh, yes.

Sleeping Beauty
over here.

[ Knock on door ]

Hey,
how'd everything go?

Do you want to order
some dinner?

We have to stop.

Is this because the
delivery driver saw you with your robe open?

I can answer the door
this time.

But, FYI, that was probably
the best day of his life.

No. The kissing.
I-It has to stop.

Why? What is it?

Is it -- Is it the --
the counting?

Would you prefer
I close my eyes?

No. But, yeah.
But not now.

Hey. Hey, Mom, I thought
you were gonna talk to Celia.

I did.
We had a great conversation.

Yeah? Really?

Is that why
she's keeping her apartment?

My God, Mom.
I'm gonna lose her, aren't I?

Oh, honey,
you're not gonna lose her.

She loves you.

Sometimes a woman just needs
to protect herself.

Protect herself
from what? Men.

Uh-oh.
That's never good.

Celia and I are just realists
when it comes to relationships.

Celia and I?
Celia and I?

Yeah, she really
opened up my eyes.

Smart cookie.
A lot of levels to her.

I'm one of her models.

Sorry. Is it --
What's going on here?

Why have you changed
your mind?

I mean, we've made out
all over this apartment.

Eugh!

Why are you bailing?

Yeah, I mean,
Celia accepted my proposal.

Why is she bailing?

Well, we're taking care
of ourselves.

Well, it really sounds like
you're bailing on us.

Yeah, it does kind of sound like
you're bailing on us.

Well, we're sorry
you feel that way.

Well, we're getting
a little tired of this.

So now you have to make
a decision.

Are you in,
or are you out?

Is that an ultimatum?

Yeah,
I'm not with him.

No, no. I'm --
I'm putting my foot down.

Oh, well, if the man
is putting his foot down,

I guess the woman's feet
have to respond. Mm-hmm.

What's that, feet?
Oh, this way?

Bye.

Dude, did we just break up
with my mom?

[ Sighs ]

Look,
I'm totally on your side,

but what the hell
is taking so long?

My uptight friend
is getting wasted right now

with this girl Wanda,

who's way more of a party girl
than you'd think

for somebody workshopping
Neil Diamond covers in class.

Your table is ready.

Thank you
for your excellent work.

And that's
when I realized

I could make a lot of money
selling my dirty socks online.

Our table is ready.
Mm.

So let's eat,
start rehydrating.

Where's Jackie?

You mean crying girl?

I think she went to
the bathroom.

Crying girl?

When did she
start crying?

After we switched
to tequila.

Classic sob and rally.

Wanda, you have not helped me
at all tonight.

***

I mean, are we?
You know?

Are -- Are we the crazy ones
for believing in love?

No, we're not crazy.

I feel
a little bit crazy.

Maybe I put too much pressure
on Celia to commit.

I mean, is it wrong
I wanted to lock her down?

Ew! God!

"Lock her down"
sounds so wrong.

I mean, am I supposed
to chase after your mum and apologize?

I don't know, man.
You're the therapist.

Aren't you
a relationship expert?

I don't know, either.
She keeps changing the rules.

We were supposed to wait
until my divorce was final.

Then, apparently,
kissing's okay.

17 times, by the way.

And that's sessions,
not individuals.

Are you trying
to make me run away?

Sorry.
Where could she be?

I don't know, man, but there is
one way to find out.

I set her up on a
locator app after she got lost in the city.

I put a tracker on Celia
for...emergencies.

[ Cellphone dings ]

Oh, got 'em.
Huh.

I see you!

I'm gonna delete it
as soon as we're done.

I think so.

***

Jackie?

Hi.

Aw, Jacks.

What happened?

I don't know.

I just started crying.

I came in here to regroup
and I saw myself in the mirror

and I looked like one
of those drunk, crying girls

on a reality show,
which made me cry again.

I'm sorry about tonight.
This is all my fault.

Yeah, it is.
Thank you.

Thank me? Why?

You made me loosen up.

Look at how loose I am.

Yeah, but you were
supposed to have fun.

[ Chuckles ]

I am having fun.

It's so exhausting
being in control all the time,

pushing everything down.

I needed to be sad about
my breakup and my unemployment.

Oh, no,
I think I'm gonna cry again.

But silver lining --
you know what I realized?

I watched myself
in the mirror,

and I'm
a really pretty crier.

Yes.

You are.

I never could have done this
on my own.

Do you want to talk more
about it?

No. I think I just want to be
sad and cry some more.

I think I'm dehydrated.

Let's get some food
in you.

Tacos?

[ Gasps ] Yes!
Yes!

Tacos!

[ Both laugh ]

Celia, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.

To you.

We're okay,
aren't we, Celia?

Sure.
Yeah.

I didn't mean
to freak out.

No, I freaked out,
too.

Freddie, I-I think
I just need a minute

to get used
to everything.

You can have
all the time you want.

I just got so caught up
in what I wanted,

I stopped thinking about
what you needed.

I figured, when I got engaged,
that we'd live together,

but we don't have to.

I'm flexible.

Only an idiot
would put his foot down.

Okay, you don't have to stand
on me to make yourself tall.

What's important
is that we stay together.

We didn't have any of these
issues before we were engaged,

so if it's too much pressure,
let's just take a step back.

I guess
what I'm trying to say is...

[ Gasps ]

...Celia, will you keep
your apartment?

Oh, my God.

Yes.

A thousand times, yes!

Oh!
Ooh, this is cute,

but let's go do it at my place
and film it for the 'Gram.

Uh, so,
when you say "do it,"

you mean
the apartment proposal, right?

Not it?
Yes.

Oh.
Yes?

Yes.
Yes.

Oh, good.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Door closes ]

Well, I really hope my apology
works, 'cause he was my ride.

Let's hear it.
Okay.

I overreacted,

um, because I thought
we were finally

getting on the road
with our thing, you know?

And I felt like you were
putting the brakes on again.

I was excited, too.

But you're married.

Only for two more months.
It counts.

It's just kissing.
It counts. You literally counted.

I-I was really clear
when we first met

that I needed to wait
until you were free

to be in a relationship
with me.

But then you kissed me.

Doesn't matter
who kissed who.

You kissed me.
Okay, fine.

Yeah.
I-I shouldn't have done that.

I should have stuck to my guns.
I used to have standards.

Suddenly, I'm forcing
my daughter to day-drink

so I can try and set kissing
records with a married man.

Not try. Did.

I don't want to change
who I am to be with you.

I don't want you
to change, either.

I like who you are.
Oh, good.

Because I'm someone who likes
to do things the right way.

I-It's like my Grammy
used to say --

"You don't put up posters when
the house is still in escrow."

She was a Realtor,
but it's a good metaphor.

Okay, well, I can wait.
And you know what?

In two months,
by the grace of Judge Munsey,

I will be free and clear.

Then, in two months,
I'll be ready.

[ Chuckles ]
For kissing.

And other stuff.

Other stuff.
Sounds promising.

Don't get too excited.
I'm from Iowa.

Thanks for taking care
of our girl.

Looks like you cured her.

My bras can rest easy.
[ Chuckles ]

She just needed to let loose
and feel her feelings.

Hey, Australian guy,
let's keep the bacon flowing.

[ Glass clinking ]

Oh, loud, loud, loud,
loud, loud, loud.

Oh, sorry.

Since we're all
gathered here,

I thought it was a good chance
to say something.

Do I have to wait for her
to finish, or can I eat?

Falling in love is easy,
but relationships are harder.

I'm gonna eat.

They say if you love something,
set it free.

And, Freddie, you loved me
so unconditionally

that you set me free.

But as soon as I was,
all I could think about was,

if I found someone
special enough

to make me feel safe
being myself,

I better lock it down.

I kind of like it
when you say it.

Freddie Raines,
will you help me break my lease?

Yes. Yes!
[ Laughs ]

I'm so happy
for you guys. Oh, love lives.

Um, I'm happy for you,

but, um, didn't we
already do this?

***

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