Original subtitles

~~~

OKAY, LET'S DO SOME BUSINESS.

- WELCOME TO WASH INGTON, HARRY. - ED. I HATE TH IS TOWN .

YOU KNOW MY SISTER'S KID, JJ? JJ, SAY HELLO TO MR. DEVERY.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. DON'T GIVE H IM A SPEECH .

- TALK TO ME, DID YOU SET UP THE HOTEL? - EVERYTH ING IS IN ORDER.

AND HERE'S SOME STUFF BY THAT REPORTER I TOLD YOU ABOUT.

ARE YOU STILL GONNA MAKE ME DO THAT INTERVIEW?

I WANT YOU TO LOOK OVER TH IS NEW REPUBLIC ARTICLE HE WROTE ON THE E.E.C.

HE'S NOT SOME DO-GOODER WITH AN AX TO GRIND ON MY NECK, IS HE?

WELL, YOU DON'T WANT A PUSHOVER HARRY. I TELL YOU, IF PAUL GIVES YOU THE THUMBS-UP,

IT'S A BIG DEAL IN TH IS TOWN .

YOU DON'T TH INK HE KNOWS ANYTH ING, DO YOU?

OH, GOD, NO.

BUT THAT'S WHY IT'S GOOD FOR YOU TO MEET H IM UP FRONT.

SHOWS YOU HAVE NOTH ING TO H IDE.

AHEM. UH, UNCLE HARRY.

OH . JESUS CHRIST. HEY! BILLIE!

[Woman] WHAT?

WHEN A DOOR OPENS ON A PLANE, YOU GET OUT.

[Harry] MOVE IT!

~~~

THEY'VE ARRIVED.

WELCOME TO THE WILLARD, MR. BROCK.

- I HOPE YOU HAD A PLEASANT JOURNEY. - AH, HERE HE IS.

NOW, REMEMBER, TREAT H IM N ICELY. DON'T TRY TO CON H IM. JUST BE YOURSELF.

PAUL! GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN .

HELLO, ED. HOW ARE YA?

NO MORE HARDNOSE INVESTIGATIVE STUFF?

WELL, YOUR MAN DOESN'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, DOES HE?

YOU'RE JUST INTERVIEWING BUSINESSMEN NOW, HMM?

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ED. THE BUSINESS OF AMERICA IS BUSINESS THESE DAYS.

- HARRY BROCK, TH IS IS PAUL VERRALL. - THE WRITER. I KNOW.

I LIKE THAT TH ING YOU DID FOR THE NEW REPUBLIC ON THE E.E.C. SMART.

THANK YOU .

TH IS SU ITE IS NEWLY REMODELED. THE MARBLE IS ITALIAN,

AND TH IS WONDERFUL GLASS COMES FROM THE SOUTH OF FRANCE.

WE'RE ESPECIALLY PROUD OF THESE ATRIUM, WH ICH GIVE THE SU ITE A LOVELY OPEN QUALITY.

I HOPE MRS. BROCK IS SATISFIED WITH THE ARRANGEMENTS.

- SHE'S NOT MRS. BROCK. - OH, YES, THAT'S FINE.

YOU BET THAT'S FINE. THERE'S ONLY ONE MRS. BROCK AND SHE'S MY MOTHER.

- OF COURSE. - AND SHE'S DEAD.

- OH, I'M SORRY. - ALRIGHT, JUST LISTEN .

ANYBODY THAT WORKS IN TH IS ROOM, TELL 'EM TO DO IT GOOD, DO IT FAST, NOBODY GETS HURT.

I DON'T LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE AROUND ALL THE TIME, AND I DON'T LIKE WAITIN' FOR NOTH ING.

OF COURSE, MR. BROCK.

HOW'D YOU LIKE TO SAVE MY LIFE? WITH SODA OR PLAIN WATER?

- PLAIN . - COMIN' RIGHT UP.

- PAUL, WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK? - NO, I'M FINE. THANKS.

- IF THERE'S ANYTH ING I CAN DO-- - THERE IS, YOU GO INTO BILLIE'S ROOM. . .

AND SEE SHE GETS EVERYTH ING SHE WANTS.

RIGHT AWAY--

IF SHE ASKS FOR SOMETH IN', I'M ASKIN' FOR SOMETH IN'.

AS IN A SINGLE VOICE.

- WHAT ABOUT THOSE WH ITE FLOWERS? - THE GARDEN IAS? ALL TAKEN CARE OF.

- DID YOU GET THAT OTHER STUFF SHE LIKES? - DIET CREAM SODA,

THE BEAN DIP, THE TWEEZERS AND THE CUCUMBER MASK, ALL TAKEN CARE OF.

- ALL RIGHT. JJ! HANDLE H IM. - ALL RIGHT. CHAUNCY.

[Snapping Fingers] OVER HERE.

BILLIE!

- WHAT? - WELL?

WHAT?

- NOT BAD, HUH? - NOT BAD.

NOT BAD. YOU KNOW WHAT TH IS IS COSTIN' ME A N IGHT?

- $6500. YOU ALREADY TOLD ME. - SO?

SO, I DON'T LIKE NEW TOWNS.

YOU HAVE TO LEARN ALL NEW CHANNELS. IT TOOK ME. . .

ALMOST A MINUTE TO FIND MY SOAP.

[Sighs]

SO WHAT'S TH IS GONNA BE PAL-- A PLUG OR A PAN?

I LIKE TO KNOW THESE TH INGS. AND I KNOW HOW TO TALK IF I KNOW YOUR ANGLE.

NO ANGLE. JUST THE FACTS. A PAN .

LISTEN, I GOTTA DO MY STAIRS AND STUFF. YOU OKAY WITH THAT?

- UH, SURE. - GOOD.

JJ, GET A BARBER UP HERE FOR WHEN I GET BACK.

GRAB MY SWEATS. WE'RE OUTTA HERE.

I'M TALKIN' TO YOU 'CAUSE ED TOLD ME TO.

WHAT THE HELL. I PAY H IM A COUPLE HUNDRED GRAND A YEAR FOR ADVICE.

I'D BE A FOOL NOT TO TAKE IT.

- EXCUSE ME. MIND IF I-- - ANYW AY .

- THANKS. - GO AHEAD. GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT.

HOW MUCH MONEY HAVE YOU GOT?

WHAT AM I, AN ACCOUNTANT?

- YOU DON'T KNOW? - NOT EXACTLY.

- FIFTY MILLION . - HONEST TO GOD, I DON'T KNOW.

- TEN MILLION? - MAYBE.

- ONE MILLION . - MORE.

- HOW MUCH MORE? - HOW MUCH YOU GOT?

- I'VE SAVED A LITTLE. - YOU DON'T SAVE MONEY, BUD.

YOU MAKE IT.

TH IS IS THE WORST TIME OF DAY, AFTER THE SOAPS BUT BEFORE ENTERTAINMENT TON IGHT.

AH, I HAVE SOME PAPERS FOR YOU TO SIGN .

WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT STUFF I SIGNED YESTERDAY?

UM, BACK PAGE OF EACH SET BY THE Xs.

SEEMS LIKE I'VE SIGNED ABOUT 1 0,000 OF THESE.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A MULTIPLE CORPORATE OFFICER.

OH, IS THAT WHAT I AM?

NO WONDER I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN .

IS IT TRUE YOU SPENT 400 MILLION ON YOUR NEW COMPLEX?

BROCK VILLAGE. FINEST TH ING EVER BU ILT.

2,000 CONDOS. 1 75 SHOPS. [Back Cracking]

AND TWO-- COUNT 'EM-- TWO GOLF COURSES.

MY MASTERPIECE. DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE ON A LOT OF DEBT?

HEY, YOU GOTTA SPEND IT TO MAKE IT, PAL. OOH . [Cracking]

NOT TOO VIGOROUS, HONEY. I GET 'EM DONE EVERY DAY.

JUST BUFF 'EM UP REAL N ICE.

WELL, HOW'S THE INTERVIEW GOING?

OH, GREAT. I FOUND OUT HE HAS PARENTS.

[Laughing]

BUT I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY HE CAME TO WASH INGTON .

- JUST A LITTLE TAX BUSINESS. - JUST A LITTLE TAX BUSINESS.

I DIDN'T BELIEVE H IM EITHER.

HEY, SO FAR I'VE BEEN N ICE TO YOU . WHAT ARE YOU PUMPIN' ME FOR?

WELL, THAT'S A REPORTER'S WORK MR. BROCK. WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, HOW. . .

- AND WHY. - SOUNDS LIKE A LAW FIRM TO ME.

AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE LAWYERS.

I CAN VOUCH FOR THAT.

ARE YOU EVER AFRAID THAT YOU'RE GONNA LOSE ALL TH IS?

NEVER. I WANT IT ALL TOO MUCH .

WHAT ABOUT TH INGS THAT ARE BEYOND YOUR CONTROL, LIKE, UH, LIKE FATE?

YOU SHOW ME A BUSINESSMAN WHO BELIEVES IN FATE,

I'LL SHOW YOU THE FIRST BUSINESSMAN EVER WENT BROKE.

I STARTED WITH A WAGON SELLIN' SOMEBODY'S JUNK, AND I GOT HERE. . .

IN A SILK SU IT TALKIN' TO A COLLEGE KNOW-IT-ALL LIKE YOU .

IF I LOSE IT, I'LL MEET YOU RIGHT BACK HERE IN TH IS ROOM. . .

IN A NEW SILK SU IT.

- BUT WHY WOULD YOU LOSE IT ALL, MR. BROCK? - HEY! WAIT A MINUTE.

WHERE YOU TH INK YOU'RE GOIN' WITH THAT?

- MY ROOM. - PUT IT BACK.

- I JUST WANTED-- - I KNOW WHAT YOU WANTED. PUT IT BACK.

WHY CAN'T I JUST TAKE IT--

BECAUSE WE HAVE A PARTY TO GO TO, THAT'S WHY.

WELL, I DON'T SEE WHY I CAN'T--

BECAUSE I SAY YOU CAN'T! THAT'S WHY! PUT IT BACK!

DO WHAT I'M TELLIN' YOU!

WHAT'LL YOU TAKE TO CUT H IS THROAT, BARBER?

HARRY, DON'T GET SO UPSET.

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO FORMAL AROUND ME, HARRY. RELAX. BE YOURSELF.

EXCUSE ME, UNCLE HARRY, YOU SHOULD GET READY.

WE GOTTA BE AT THE DUFFEES' HOUSE AT 7:00.

IS THAT ALEX DUFFEE, THE SECRETARY OF THE NAVY?

JJ, WOULD YOU GET MY BRIEFCASE?

- YEAH, SURE, ED. - SORRY ABOUT THE BLOWUP.

SHORT FUSE.

BUT I LIKE TALKIN' TO YOU . YOU MAKE ME LAUGH .

FINALLY A PURPOSE IN LIFE.

- HEY, HOW ABOUT YOU WORKIN' FOR ME? - OH, HARRY, I DON'T--

HEY, DID I ASK YOU?

- LET THE MAN ANSWER. - WELL, WHAT WOULD I DO?

WHAT DO YOU CARE? WE'LL FIND SOMETH IN' FOR YOU .

I DON'T TH INK SO, MR. BROCK. THANKS FOR THE OFFER.

- SEE YOU AROUND, PAL. - MMHMM, SURE.

NOT A BAD GUY FOR AN EGGHEAD.

SEND H IM A GIFT, A PEN OR SOMETH ING.

- YOU PISSED AT ME? - NO.

YOU DON'T LOOK RIGHT. WANT AN ASPIRIN?

NO, HARRY, I'M FINE.

CONSIDERING I'VE BEEN DEAD FOR 1 2 YEARS, I FEEL GREAT.

[TV] WITH YOUR ABDOMINALS CONTRACTED, BUTTOCKS TIGHT,

YOU'RE GOING TO BE LIFTING THE LEG, STARTING WITH THE CONTRACTION .

HERE YOU GO. AND. . . CONTRACT AND LIFT IT.

C.P., OKAY? C.L. CONTRACT AND LIFT.

CONTRACT AND LIFT. NOW EVERY LIFT BEGINS WITH--

- HEY! - NOW, TOMORROW WE MEET THE LOBBYISTS.

SCREW THE LOBBYISTS. I WANT CONGRESSMEN . BILLIE!

WHAT?

HURRY UP. WE'RE GOIN' DOWN . MEET YOU IN THE CAR.

JJ'II WAIT.

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T JUST PHONE CONGRESSMEN--

HEY, I LEVERAGED EVERYTH ING I GOT, INCLUDING MY ASS, TO BU ILD BROCK VILLAGE.

IF THAT BASE CLOSES, I'M LOOKIN' AT FOUR MILLION SQUARE FEET OF SQUAT,

- AND I'M SIGN IN' CHAPTER 1 1 PAPERS. - HARRY, PLEASE RELAX.

THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF PUTTING THE COMPAN IES IN BILLIE'S NAME.

THEY CAN'T BE TAKEN TO SETTLE ANY DEBTS. TECHN ICALLY, THEY'RE NOT YOUR COMPAN IES.

IF I LOSE BROCK VILLAGE, WHAT'S TO SAY I CAN'T LOSE EVERYTH ING ELSE?

TH IS IS YOUR FAULT.

YOU SHOULD HAVE HEADED TH IS OFF. I WANT NAMES.

- ALRIGHT, TOMORROW I'VE GOT LUNCH-- - TON IGHT. TON IGHT!

TON IGHT YOU'LL SEE SENATOR NORVILLE HEDGES.

YOU REMEMBER H IM, HE'S HEAD OF APPROPRIATIONS.

HE'S BEH IND ON H IS FUND-RAISING AND H IS RACE IS VERY TIGHT.

- THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO HEAR. - BUT, HARRY--HARRY.

HARRY, HE'S NOT A CONSTRUCTION FOREMAN . THE MACH INATIONS REQU IRED--

HEY, DON'T HARVARD-TALK ME. I DIDN'T MAKE MY MONEY BY BEIN' A IDIOT.

- WHERE THE HELL'S BILLIE? - CALM YOURSELF. I'M HERE.

- SHE LOOK OKAY TO YOU? - WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HOW I LOOK?

THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? YOU OPEN BEER CANS WITH YOUR TEETH .

- YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL BILLIE. - THANK YOU, ED.

ED, ARE YOU SURE? I DON'T WANT TO START OFF ON NO LEFT FOOT.

I'M SURE, I'M SURE.

[Harry] AH, NOW THAT'S OKAY. NOW, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

JJ, YOU STAY HERE.

- GOOD EVEN ING, ALEX. - H I, ED. HOW ARE YOU?

VERY WELL. MAY I INTRODUCE MY FRIEND, HARRY--

HARRY BROCK. N ICE TO MEET YA.

- HOW ARE YOU? - AND MISS BILLIE DAWN .

BILLIE DAWN . WHAT A BEAUTIFUL NAME.

- TH IS IS MY WIFE, BEATRICE. - HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?

MMM. CHARMED.

- HOW ARE YOU? - H I, N ICE TO MEET YOU, A PLEASURE.

- GREAT TO SEE YOU . - HELLO, BEA.

TH IS IS SENATOR DORN AND H IS WIFE, LILY.

SENATOR, HARRY BROCK. PLEASURE TO MEET YA.

- IT'S A PLEASURE. - N ICE TO MEET YA, HOW YOU DOIN'?

FINE.

- AND OVER HERE IS SENATOR AND MRS. HEDGES. - SENATOR, GOOD TO SEE YOU .

- GOOD TO SEE YOU . - H I, HOW ARE YOU?

- BILLIE, TH IS IS SENATOR HEDGES. - YEAH, THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.

AND, UH, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO TOWN?

A LITTLE SIGHTSEEING. YOU KNOW, TAKIN' IT EASY.

OH, THAT'LL BE THE DAY.

[Awkward Laughter]

FEEL A LITTLE DRY. YOU CARE TO JOIN ME FOR A DRINK?

- SURE. - EXCUSE US, LADIES. ALEX.

IT'S SO SCREWED UP OVER THERE, I CAN'T DO NOTH IN'--

HELLO, MR. BROCK.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN . - WHAT A COINCIDENCE. HEY, SHERLOCK.

HOW'S IT GOIN'?

I'M OFF-DUTY TON IGHT. MY METER AIN'T RUNN IN'.

[Woman] BILLIE'S HERE FROM CH ICAGO.

REALLY? I GOT MY DOCTORATE FROM THE UN IVERSITY OF CH ICAGO.

I JUST INTERVIEWED YOUR MAYOR. I HAVE A RADIO SHOW.

WHAT ARE YOU PLANN ING TO SEE WH ILE YOU'RE HERE?

I DON'T REALLY KNOW. I MEAN, SINCE I'VE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE,

I DON'T KNOW REALLY WHAT THERE IS TO SEE.

WHAT KINDS OF TH INGS ARE YOU INTERESTED IN?

UM, MAYBE SOMETH ING WITH THE KENNEDYS.

YOU COULD GO TO THE KENNEDY CENTER. TAKE A TOUR, MAYBE GO BACKSTAGE.

NO, YOU KNOW, I'D LIKE TO SEE THEIR HOUSE.

YOU KNOW, LIKE GO ON ONE OF THEM TOURS, LIKE GRACELAND?

YOU LEARN A LOT ABOUT A PERSON WHEN YOU SEE THEIR HOME, DON'T YOU TH INK?

I MEAN, DID YOU KNOW THAT ELVIS HAD OVER 40 TVs?

WHEN I SAW THAT, I KNEW THAT ELVIS MUST HAVE BEEN A REALLY LONELY MAN .

I MEAN, THEY SAY IT ON THE TOUR, YOU KNOW, ABOUT THE 40 TVs, LIKE IT WAS A BIG TH ING,

LIKE YOU SHOULD BE REALLY JEALOUS OF ELVIS, BUT IT JUST MADE ME REALLY SAD.

I MEAN, EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE WORLD WORSH IPPED ELVIS,

AND IT WAS LIKE HE COULDN'T BE IN A ROOM ALONE, YOU KNOW?

SO, I TH INK THAT'S SAD, DON'T YOU TH INK?

WELL, KENNEDY LIVED IN THE WH ITE HOUSE.

OH, YEAH, WELL, SEE? THAT WOULD BE GREAT IF I COULD SEE WHERE HE LIVED.

WELL, IF YOU DO DECIDE TO TAKE A TOUR, MY HUSBAND CAN HELP.

- HE'S THE UNDER SECRETARY OF COMMERCE. - IS THAT LIKE A RECEPTION IST?

ISN'T A RECEPTION IST UNDER A SECRETARY?

WELL, HE CERTAINLY FEELS THAT WAY SOMETIMES.

I TH INK I NEED TO FRESHEN TH IS UP. IS EVERYONE ELSE ALL RIGHT?

- I COULD USE ANOTHER ONE. - WHAT ABOUT YOU, BILLIE?

NO, THANK YOU .

- SOMETH ING I SAID WAS WRONG, WASN'T IT? - IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

- YOU MIND IF I ASK YOU SOMETH ING? - SURE.

IS THERE SOMETH ING WRONG WITH MY EARRINGS OR SOMETH IN'?

BECAUSE EVERYBODY KEEPS STARING AT 'EM.

OH, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE THEY'RE A LITTLE BIG.

WELL, I THOUGHT BIG WAS THE WHOLE IDEA WITH JEWELS.

NAH, YOU DON'T NEED TO WEAR JEWELS. YOU'RE PRETTY ENOUGH .

OH . SWEET TALK.

IT'S MY FAVORITE.

- THAT'S WHAT THE I .M.F. IS FOR. - NO, TH IS IS NATO's RESPONSIBILITY.

[Man] NATO's NOT A FACTOR ANYMORE.

THE U .N . IS THE ANSWER. NOW, IF THERE'S TROUBLE, AND THERE'S GOING TO BE TROUBLE,

THAT I CAN GUARANTEE YOU, THE U .N . TROOPS SHOULD JUMP IN, KEEP PEACE,

SO THOSE MARKETS CAN GROW.

THAT'S INCREDIBLE. SHE'S GOT BOYFRIENDS--

[Man] PEOPLE SHOULD BE CONTROLLED, NOT MARKETS.

AND WHAT DO YOU TH INK, MISS DAWN?

WHAT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO THOSE PEOPLE

NOW THAT THE EASTERN BLOC HAS COLLAPSED?

I DON'T KNOW. HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE HURT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHEN THE BLOCK COLLAPSED, WERE PEOPLE HURT OR WAS IT JUST PROPERTY DAMAGE?

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE EASTERN BLOC IN EUROPE.

I DON'T TH INK WE SHOULD WORRY ABOUT THEM.

I MEAN, WE GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS WITH OUR OWN STREETS. . .

BEFORE WE START FIXING THE ONES IN EUROPE.

- THEY'RE GEEKS. - WHAT?

- I SAID THEY'RE GEEKS. - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO SAY?

- BILLIE DAWN, THAT'S WHO. - NOBODY ASKED YOU SO SHUT UP.

PARDON ME IF I'M TAKIN' UP TOO MUCH SPACE ONYOUR PLANET.

OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH .

- HELLO, JJ . - HEY, ED.

- HARRY, COULD WE GO OVER A FEW TH INGS? - TAKE HER UPSTAIRS.

TAKE ME UPSTAIRS.

- SO YA HAVIN' FUN? - NO. ARE YOU?

NO. SEEMS LIKE WE'VE BEEN GONE A MONTH ALREADY.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

BILLIE IS A LIABILITY. SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT PEOPLE

ARE TALKING ABOUT. PEOPLE DON'T TALK TO BILLIE TO KNOW TH INGS.

PEOPLE LOVE BILLIE BECAUSE SHE MAKES THEM FORGET ABOUT ALL THE CRAP IN THE WORLD.

EVERY TIME SHE OPENS HER MOUTH, SHE SAYS SOMETH ING STUPID.

YEAH, THAT'S GONNA MAKE HER STAND OUT IN WASH INGTON .

HARRY, PLEASE.

- PEOPLE WERE LAUGH ING AT HER. - OH . THEY WERE?

- YEAH . - WELL, THEY GOTTA KNOW HER LIKE I DO.

BUT THERE'S NO REASON FOR HER TO BE HERE.

HOW ABOUT SHE OWNS MORE OF ME THAN I DO. ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR BRIGHT IDEAS.

IT IS A GOOD IDEA. LUCKILY, SHE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTH ING ABOUT IT.

ANY PAPERS SHE NEEDS TO SIGN I CAN SEND TO HER AT HOME.

NO. HEY, NO! OKAY? THERE'S ANOTHER REASON .

I'M CRAZY ABOUT HER, OKAY?

I'M CRAZY WHEN SHE'S NOT AROUND.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE BEIN' GEEKS.

SURE KNOW HOW TO BE STUFFY, DON'T THEY?

ANYWAY, I KNOW YOU WEREN'T SO HOT TO COME ON TH IS TRIP, SO--

- THANKS, HARRY. - YEAH .

HEY, HARRY? YOU KNOW HOW WHEN SOMEBODY DIES,

IT'S OKAY TO FEEL SAD?

BUT THEN OTHER TIMES WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY,

AND YOU FEEL SAD ANYWAY?

THEN IT'S WORSE THAN THE TIMES WHEN YOU'RE ALLOWED TO BE SAD?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

NEVER MIND.

HEY! I KNOW WHERE THERE'S TH IS CLUB.

LET'S GO SHOW THESE GEEKS HOW TO DANCE.

- YEAH? - YEAH .

NOW?

~~~

~ WELL, COME OUT HERE ON THE FLOOR ~

~ LET'S ROCK SOME MORE ~

~ COME OUT HERE ON THE FLOOR ~

~ HONEY, LET'S ROCK SOME MO', YEAH ~

~ NOW WHEN YOU GET OUT HERE DON'T YOU HAVE NO FEAR ~

~ PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR H IP AND LET YOUR BACKBONE SLIP ~

~ AND WORK OUT ~

~ AH, MY MAMA, MOVE UP ~

~ HONEY, MOVE BACK ~

~ SING IT, SING IT SHUFFLE TO THE LEFT ~

SHUFFLE, SHUFFLE, SHUFFLE, SHUFFLE.

~ WOBBLE TO THE RIGHT ~

~ NOW IT'S PLAIN TO SEE YOU PUT A HURTIN' ON ME ~

~ BUT IT'S A NATURAL FACT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT SO WORK OUT ~

~ YEAH, BABY, WORK OUT ~

~ BABY, WORK OUT ~

~ SHOUT AND TURN THE JOINT OUT ~

~ WORK OUT WORK OUT ~

~ WORK ALL N IGHT LONG YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ~~

[Ringing]

- HELLO? - BILLIE DAWN, PLEASE?

- TH IS IS BILLIE. - MARVELOUS.

CYNTH IA SCHREIBER HERE. WE MET LAST N IGHT AT DUFFEE'S LITTLE SOCK HOP?

AND I DO A SHOW FOR N .P.R. YOU KNOW N .P.R., YES?

UM, THEY'RE THE GUN PEOPLE, RIGHT?

WELL, UH, DURING FUND-RAISING THEY ARE,

BUT USUALLY THEY'RE JUST NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO.

ANYWAY, I'D LIKE YOU TO BE ON MY SHOW.

ME ON THE RADIO? ARE YOU KIDDING?

OF COURSE NOT. I KNOW TH IS IS LAST-MINUTE,

BUT MY LITTLE DREAM IS THAT YOU'D COME AT AROUND 1 1 :00?

WELL, UH, I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW NOTH IN' ABOUT WASH INGTON . . .

OR NOTH IN'.

UM, I DON'T KNOW IF HARRY WOULD LIKE THAT.

YOU COULD PROMOTE WHATEVER HE'S DOING HERE IN D.C.

- I COULD TELL ABOUT BROCK VILLAGE? - ABSOLUTELY.

- OKAY. - GREAT.

- YEAH? - MR. DEVERY, IT'S JJ .

- UH, YEAH . - HARRY, IT'S FOR YOU .

- BROCK. - HELLO, UNCLE HARRY?

IT'S JJ . GET A RADIO. BILLIE'S ON .

- SHE'S ON 89.3. - WHY? WHAT'D SHE DO?

SHE'S BEIN' INTERVIEWED.

HOLY CHRIST! TURN THE RADIO ON . 89.3.

[Cynthia] NOW, YOU ARE HERE AS THE COMPAN ION . . .

OF MULTIMILLIONAIRE HARRY BROCK, IS THAT RIGHT?

[BiIIie] YEAH .

- HOW DID YOU TWO MEET? - IN LAS VEGAS.

- I WAS IN A SHOW. - UH-HUH .

SO, WHAT, YOU DANCE AND SING?

YEAH . I WASN'T ONLY IN THE CHORUS. I WAS A THESPIAN . OH .

[BiIIie] I HAD LINES. FIVE, TO BE EXACT. [Cynthia] MM-HMM.

DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THEM?

- ABS-- YES. OF COURSE. - OKAY, HERE GOES.

YES, I AM. HE WAS HERE, BUT HE'S NOT HERE NOW.

[Snickering] OH, JUST A FRIEND.

I NEVER DRINK WITH MEN I DON'T KNOW.

BEAT IT, BUSTER! [ChuckIing]

I COULD'VE BEEN A STAR IF I WOULD'VE STUCK WITH IT,

BUT HARRY DIDN'T LIKE ME BEIN' IN SHOWS.

HE LIKES TO GO TO BED EARLY.

DOES MR. BROCK DO A LOT OF BUSINESS IN LAS VEGAS?

[Laughing] WHAT BUSINESS? HE CAME TO GAMBLE AND TO MEET GIRLS.

I MEAN, HE DOESN'T DO THAT ANYMORE.

NOW HE JUST WORKS AND WORKS AND WORKS.

WHAT IS MR. BROCK DOING IN WASH INGTON? IS HE A STRONG PARTY MAN?

IS HE!

HE CAN THROW DOWN A DRINK FASTER THAN YOU CAN UNZIP YOUR PANTS.

AND BOY, CAN HE DANCE. [Cynthia Laughing]

WE WON A LIMBO CONTEST ONCE.

- AND WE GOT A MEDAL. - A MEDAL. SHE REMEMBERED THE MEDAL.

- DO YOU WANT TO SEE IT? - YES. MM-HMM.

OKAY.

- SEE? - MM-HMM.

- AND IT LOOKS LIKE FIRST PRIZE. - UH-HUH .

IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT THE LOVE OF WEALTH . . .

IS AT THE HEART OF ALL AMERICANS.

- DO YOU TH INK THAT'S TRUE? - I DON'T KNOW.

- WHO SAID IT? - TOCQUEVILLE.

HE WROTE DEMOCRACY IN AMERICA,

POSSIBLY ONE OF THE MOST PERCEPTIVE BOOKS EVER WRITTEN ABOUT OUR SYSTEM.

OH, IT'S A BOOK? NO WONDER I NEVER HEARD OF IT.

IN THE FUTURE, I TH INK IT WOULD BE BEST TO LIMIT BILLIE'S EXPOSURE TO THE MEDIA,

GIVEN HER LIMITED UNDERSTANDING OF, WELL, EVERYTH ING.

COULDN'T WE DO SOMETH IN'? SMARTEN HER UP A LITTLE BIT?

SHE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY GIN RUMMY 'TIL I TAUGHT HER. NOW SHE BEATS MY BRAINS OUT.

ISN'T THERE SOME KIND OF SCHOOL?

A LONG TIME WOULD PASS BEFORE SCHOOL HAD AN IMPACT ON BILLIE.

I TH INK WE SHOULD SEND HER BACK. [EIevator BeII Rings]

ALL SHE NEEDS IS SOMEONE TO POUND SOME SMARTS INTO HER, ONE ON ONE.

HEY, I GOT AN IDEA. THE FOUR MOST TERRIFYING WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

ED TELLS ME YOU TEACH A CLASS AT GEORGETOWN .

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

- HOW MUCH YOU MAKE? - WHAT AM I, AN ACCOUNTANT?

I LOVE TH IS GUY.

WELL, LISTEN, PAULIE, THE REASON I ASK. . . I GOT TH IS FRIEND.

- MAYBE YOU'VE SEEN HER. BILLIE? - BILLIE. RIGHT.

SHE'S A N ICE KID, BUT SHE'S A LITTLE ON THE STUPID SIDE.

NOT HER FAULT, YOU UNDERSTAND. I FOUND HER IN VEGAS,

AND FOR VEGAS SHE'S SMART ENOUGH, BUT WASH INGTON--

I'M JUST SCARED SHE'S GONNA BE UNHAPPY. SHE'S NOT USED TO THESE KIND OF PEOPLE.

UH, SO I FIGURE MAYBE YOU COULD HELP HER. . . AND ME.

- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? - NO, I DON'T.

SHOW HER THE ROPES, THE LOWDOWN . EXPLAIN TO HER WHAT GOES ON AND SUCH .

IT'D REALLY MEAN A LOT TO ME. AND I'D GIVE YOU 200 BUCKS A DAY.

AHEM. WELL, I'M SORRY, HARRY, BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I DO.

350.

NO, HARRY, YOU SEE, MONEY ISN'T THE ISSUE.

- I TOLD YOU, HARRY. - SHUT UP.

500.

- OKAY, I'LL DO IT. - YOU SEE?

AS SOON AS HE SAID MONEY WASN'T THE ISSUE, I KNEW I HAD H IM.

I LOVE TH IS GUY.

YOU KNOW, BILLIE, WE'RE IN THE BIG TIME NOW. TH IS AIN'T CH ICAGO.

[ChuckIing] YOU'RE TELLIN' ME.

I MEAN, YOU GOTTA BE VERY CAREFUL OF EVERYTH ING YOU DO.

YOU UNDERSTAND MY MEAN ING?

YEAH .

GIN .

TWENTY-EIGHT.

- TWENTY-EIGHT? - TWENTY-EIGHT!

~~ [Humming "This OId Man"]

~ TH IS OLD MAN HE PLAYED TWO ~

~ HE PLAYED KN ICKKNACK ON MY SHOE ~

~ WITH A KN ICKKNACK PADDYWACK, GIVE A DOG A BONE ~

~ TH IS OLD MAN CAME ROLLING HOME ~

~ WA-WA-WA WA-WA-WA WA-WA-WA-WA WA-WA-WA ~

~ WA-WA WA-WA WA-WA-WA WA-WA-WA-WA-WA ~

~ W A-W A-W AW AW A-W A-W A ~~

- DO YOU MIND? - NO.

GIN .

SEE?

TH IRTY-FOUR.

TH IRTY-FOUR? TH IRTY-FOUR! THREE FOUR!

[CIears Throat] SO, ANYWAY. . .

I MET A GUY. HE'S GOT A LOT OF TIME ON H IS HANDS.

AND I WAS TH INKING, SINCE HE KNOWS THE CITY PRETTY GOOD,

IT MIGHT BE N ICE FOR YOU TO HAVE SOMEONE TO DO TH INGS WITH .

- WHAT'S GOING ON? - NOTH IN'!

[ShuffIes Cards] IT'S JUST--

HE'S A SMART GUY.

AND, WELL, IT WOULDN'T HURT YOU TO LEARN SOME TH INGS.

SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN INTERESTED IN MY BRAIN?

SINCE YOU STARTED EXPOSING IT TO THE PUBLIC ON THE RADIO.

WHAT DID I DO? I WAS TRYIN' TO HELP YOU .

HONEY, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

PEOPLE DON'T KNOW YOU LIKE I DO. YOU JUST--

YOU KNOW, YOU COULD USE A LITTLE EDUCATION YOURSELF,

IF YOU ASK ME.

- WHO ASKED YA? - NOBODY.

SO SHUT UP.

[DoorBeII Chimes]

HOLD ON A SECOND. THAT WILL BE $225. 1 0.

I GOTTA GET THE DOOR. YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME PAY.

AWW .

1 0 CENTS.

SORE LOSER.

I'LL GET IT! NOW, YOU BE N ICE TO H IM.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT'S H IM AT THE DOOR?

I DON'T WANT SOME STUFFY OLD TUTOR.

- YOU BE N ICE TO H IM, OR I'LL CRACK YOU ONE! - IT'S A FREE COUNTRY.

THAT'S WHAT YOU TH INK.

HEY!

[Door CIoses] [Harry] BILLIE.

TH IS IS PAUL VERRALL.

VERY PLEASED TO HAVE YOU HERE.

LOOK, I GOT SOME BUSINESS TO TAKE CARE OF,

SO WHY DON'T YOU TWO GO SOMEPLACE N ICE AND TALK?

- YOU WOULDN'T MIND, WOULD YA? - NO WAY. I WOULD LOVE TO.

[GiggIes QuietIy]

[Snap]

- THANKS. - THANKS.

SO, UM, WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF GIGOLO?

[Laughing] NO, I JUST--

- WELL, HARRY WANTS ME TO-- - HE WANTS YOU TO SMARTEN ME UP?

NO, I'M SURE YOU'RE--

- I TH INK HE JUST WANTS ME TO, UM-- - SMARTEN ME UP.

YEAH .

SO, WHAT'S HE PAYIN' YOU?

500 BUCKS A DAY.

SUCKER. COULDA GOTTEN TWICE THAT.

HE'S GOT A LOT OF IT, YOU KNOW.

I'D HAVE DONE IT FOR NOTH ING.

YOU KNOW, EVEN IF I AM STUPID, IT HASN'T HURT ME NONE.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - WELL, I GOT EVERYTH ING THAT I WANT.

GOT LOTS OF JEWELS. BIG, LIKE I LIKE. MINK COAT.

A TV THAT FITS IN MY PURSE.

I WANT SOMETH ING. I ASK FOR IT.

IF HE DON'T GIVE ME WHAT I WANT,

I DON'T GIVE H IM WHAT HE WANTS,

IF YOU GET MY DRIFT.

AND YOU'RE HAPPY WITH TH IS SETUP?

WELL, SO LONG AS I KNOW HOW TO GET WHAT I WANT, THAT'S ALL I WANNA KNOW.

MAKES SENSE.

AS LONG AS YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU WANT.

EXACTLY. WHAT?

WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU DON'T KNOW A LOT,

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT A MINK COAT IS THE BEST TH ING TO HAVE?

BECAUSE I USED TO HAVE A RABBIT COAT.

[JukeBox] ~ DID YOU SAY I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ~

MMM, I LOVE TH IS SONG. LET'S DANCE.

OH, I DON'T, UH-- I CAN'T DANCE.

I CAN . HARRY AND ME WON A MEDAL ONCE.

WELL, UH, TH IS ISN'T A DANCING PLACE.

IT IS IF YOU'RE DANCING. COME ON .

UM. . .

~~

~ WE'LL START WITH THE ABC OF IT ~

~ THEN WE'LL ROLL DOWN TO THE XYZ OF IT ~

[ChuckIing NervousIy] RELAX.

~ HELP ME SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF IT ~

~ COME ON AND TEACH ME TON IGHT ~ OKAY, SO WE SHOULD MAKE A LIST. . .

OF TH INGS THAT YOU'D LIKE TO DO AND, UH--

~ WELL, THE SKY'S A BLACKBOARD ~ AND, UM--

~ I DON'T MEAN JUNGLE H IGH ABOVE YOU ~

SHH . ~ AND IF A SHOOTING STAR GOES BY ~

~ I'LL USE THAT STAR TO WRITE I LOVE YOU ~

~ A THOUSAND TIMES ACROSS THE SKY ~

~ ONE TH ING ISN'T VERY CLEAR, MY LOVE ~

~ SHOULD THE TEACHER STAND SO NEAR, MY LOVE ~

~ GRADUATION'S ALMOST HERE MY LOVE ~

~ GO ON, YEAH, YEAH ~

~ TEACH ME TON IGHT ~

MAYBE I COULD TEACH YOU SOME TH INGS. ~ WELL, THE SKY'S A BLACKBOARD ~

~ H IGH ABOVE YOU ~

~ AND IF AN ASTRONAUT ZOOMS BY ~

~ I'LL REACH AND GRAB IT REAL FAST ~

~ AND WRITE I LOVE YOU ~~

WELL, OKAY, UM--

GOOD N IGHT, MISS DAWN, AND, UM-- [GiggIing]

[Laughs] THANKS. THAT WAS FUN .

AREN'T YOU GONNA ESCORT ME TO MY ROOM?

UH, OH, UM--

- YEAH, UM, SURE. YEAH, OF COURSE. - YOU CAN CALL ME BILLIE.

- BILLIE. - YEAH . [GiggIes]

YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY. YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A BILLIE.

NO?

- UH-UH . - DO I LOOK LIKE AN EMMA?

- EMMA? - YEAH . THAT'S MY REAL NAME.

I TOOK BILLIE FOR VEGAS.

NO. YOU DON'T LOOK LI--

UH, I MEAN, YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE AN EMMA EITHER. [Laughing]

WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE?

- TO ME? - YEAH . TO YOU .

LIKE AN ANGEL. [EIevator BeII Rings]

[ChuckIing] SWEET TALK AGAIN .

WELL.

- OKAY. GOOD N IGHT, BILLIE-- - PAUL.

ARE YOU A TALKER, OR WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN A LITTLE ACTION?

- EXCUSE ME? - WELL, I GOT THE HOTS FOR YOU RIGHT OFF.

UH--UH--WELL, DO YOU GET MANY?

NOW AND THEN .

- WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT THEM? - STICK AROUND AND YOU'LL FIND OUT.

[Laughing]

- WHAT ABOUT, UM-- - AW, DON'T WORRY ABOUT H IM.

HE'S TOO BUSY BEIN' A BIG MAN .

[Laughing] TH IS ISN'T WHAT I EXPECTED.

WELL, WE'RE JUST TEACH ING EACH OTHER WHAT WE KNOW.

YES, WELL, ABOUT THAT--

JUST READ THESE PAPERS AND CIRCLE ANYTH ING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. . .

- AND I'LL, UH-- - YEAH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

MY EYES ARE KIND OF WEAK.

REALLY? WELL, MAYBE YOU OUGHTA TRY SOME GLASSES.

[Laughs] AND LOOK LIKE A GEEK?

OH . [ChuckIes]

I'M SORRY.

THA--THA--THAT'S OKAY.

COURSE, THEY'RE NOT SO BAD ON MEN .

NO? [EIevator BeII Rings]

HEY! HOW ARE YOU TWO GUYS MAKIN' OUT?

OH, FINE.

- PAUL JUST, UM, TAUGHT ME A LITTLE FRENCH . - IS THAT RIGHT, PAL?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- WAS SHE RUDE TO YOU? - OH, NO.

- CAUSE SHE'S GOT A MOUTH ON HER. - YES, I KNOW THAT.

WELL, I'M GONNA SAY GOOD N IGHT.

GOOD N IGHT. [CIears Throat]

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, BUDDY!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

WHERE'S YOUR MANNERS? SAY THANK YOU TO THE GUY.

OH . YEAH .

AU REVOIR.

- GOOD N IGHT, BILLIE. - N IGHT.

[EIevator BeII Rings] YOU KNOW, THAT GUY COULD DO YOU A LOT OF GOOD.

MMM. I AGREE.

WHEW.

- H I . - H I .

[GiggIes] HOW'D YOU KNOW IT WAS ME?

LUCKY GUESS. [Waitress] H I .

ARE YOU HAVING LUNCH TH IS AFTERNOON? JUST A CAPPUCCINO, THANKS.

OH, TH IS IS RIDICULOUS.

IT LOOKS LIKE THE PAPER HAS THE CH ICKEN POX.

IT WOULD'VE BEEN EASIER IF YOU'D TOLD ME TO CIRCLE THE TH INGS THAT I KNEW.

I'M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO TALK TO ANYBODY IN TH IS TOWN .

WELL, I BROUGHT SOMETH ING ALONG THAT MAY HELP YOU .

WHAT, SOMEBODY WHO'S REALLY SMART AND LOOKS JUST LIKE ME?

[Laughing] LOOK, YOU WANNA BE ABLE TO TALK TO PEOPLE IN TH IS TOWN?

WELL, IN WASH INGTON, EVERYBODY SAYS EXACTLY THE SAME TH INGS

AT EVERY PARTY.

YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW THE RIGHT RESPONSES.

IF YOU LEARN THESE EIGHT SENTENCES, YOU'LL BE A H IT AT EVERY PARTY.

- YOU'RE KIDDING ME. - NOPE.

THOSE EIGHT SENTENCES COVER JUST ABOUT EVERYTH ING

ANYBODY TALKS ABOUT IN TH IS TOWN .

IT'S THE GREAT WASH INGTON ART. . .

OF SOUNDIN' LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW ZIP.

- GO AHEAD, READ THE FIRST ONE. - OKAY. [CIears Throat]

"HERE'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW:

WHO ELECTED THE WASH INGTON POST PRESIDENT?"

- THAT ONE APPLIES ABOUT 80% OF THE TIME. -OKAY.

NUMBER TWO: "WE CAN'T BE THE POLICEMEN OF THE WORLD,

"BUT UNTIL WE GET ANOTHER COP ON THE BLOCK,

WE HAVE TO SUPPORT OUR FRIENDS."

THAT ONE COMES UP A LOT. NUMBER THREE.

"BEING A SUPERPOWER HAS A PRICE."

NOW, YOU CAN USE THAT ONE WITH NUMBER TWO AND NUMBER FOUR. READ NUMBER FOUR.

NUMBER FOUR: "IT'S STILL A DANGEROUS WORLD."

WAIT A MINUTE, I'M JUST GONNA SAY THESE TH INGS, AND I'M GONNA BE A H IT?

THANK YOU . WELL, UH, YEAH, BUT YOU HAVE TO SAY 'EM AT THE RIGHT TIME.

UH, READ NUMBER FIVE.

NUMBER FIVE: "THAT'S ABOUT AS LIKELY AS A DEMOCRAT BEING ELECTED PRESIDENT."

YOU SEE? THAT ONE SHOWS YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.

THAT WAS FUNNY?

NUMBER SIX.

NUMBER SIX: "IT MAKES YOU WONDER IF A PARLI--

"PARLI-- PARLIAMENTARY.

PARLIAMENTARY SYSTEM ISN'T BETTER."

YEAH, THE WHOLE TH ING MAKES ME WONDER.

- NUMBER SEVEN . - NUMBER SEVEN :

"I DON'T TH INK ABE LINCOLN H IMSELF WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THAT."

NOW, YOU SAY THAT ONE WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

GOOD. THEN I'LL JUST SAY THAT ONE.

OKAY.

NOW, NUMBER EIGHT IS WHEN YOU'RE TRAPPED AND YOU WANNA SHUT SOMEONE UP.

"IF ONLY THE U .N . WOULD TAKE OUT. . .

"THE VERNOR AMENDMENT TO RESOLUTION 1 65,

WE'D HAVE THE POWER TO DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE."

I DON'T UNDERSTAND ONE WORD OF THAT.

NO ONE WILL. THERE IS NO VERNOR AMENDMENT.

BUT THE ONLY TIME ANYONE IN WASH INGTON ADMITS THEY DON'T KNOW SOMETH ING. . .

IS WHEN THEY'RE BEING INDICTED.

[BiIIie] BUT HOW AM I GONNA KNOW WHEN TO SAY WH ICH ONE?

[PauI] WELL, WE'LL-- WE'LL WORK OUT A CODE, OKAY?

TRY NOT TO TALK TO ANYONE.

TH IS GUY'S ONLY BEEN WORKIN' ON YOU FOR A DAY.

SHE CAN TALK TO ANYBODY, HARRY, AND MAKE YOU PROUD.

GREAT! TH IS IS WORKIN' BACKWARDS. INSTEAD OF MAKIN' HER SMART,

SHE'S MAKIN' YOU STUPID.

GOOD EVEN ING.

~~ [ChamBer Music]

[Harry] MIDDLE EAST IS A MONEY DRAIN .

NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE SEND OVER THERE, IT'LL ALWAYS BE THE SAME.

WE OUGHTA SPEND THAT MONEY OVER HERE AT HOME.

SO JUST IGNORE THE REGION ALTOGETHER?

TELL ME, MISS DAWN, WHAT DO YOU TH INK?

IS THERE A CHANCE FOR PEACE IN THE MIDEAST?

[CIears Throat] UM, I TH INK THE CHANCES ARE ABOUT AS GOOD. . .

AS GETTING A DEMOCRAT BACK IN THE WH ITE HOUSE? [Laughing]

WELL, AFTER ALL THE PROBLEMS THE PRESIDENT'S HAD RECENTLY,

HE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH CLOUT TO DO ANYTH ING ANYWAY.

IT MAKES YOU WONDER IF A PARLIAMENTARY SYSTEM ISN'T BETTER.

[Woman] BUT I TH INK WE SHOULD KEEP A STRONG PRESENCE OVER THERE.

- DON'T YOU? - WELL, HERE'S WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.

WHO ELECTED THE WASH INGTON POST KING OF THE UN IVERSE?

THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW. [PauI CIears Throat]

[PauI] AHEM. AHEM. EXCUSE ME.

[BiIIie] I'M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU SAY? [Woman] I SAY,

DO YOU TH INK WE SHOULD KEEP AN ACTIVE PRESENCE OVER THERE?

OH, FORGIVE ME. HOW SILLY. I THOUGHT YOU SAID--OH .

WELL, ANYWAY-- OKAY. ACTIVE PRESENCE. YEAH .

WELL, UM-- [CIears Throat] CALL ME OLD-FASH IONED.

I KNOW WE CAN'T BE THE POLICEMEN OF THE WORLD,

BUT UNTIL WE GET ANOTHER COP ON THE BEAT,

WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO SUPPORT OUR FRIENDS.

AFTER ALL, BEING A SUPERPOWER HAS ITS PRICE.

- SHE'S RIGHT. - MM-HMM.

IT'S STILL A DANGEROUS WORLD.

YES, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PALESTIN IANS?

YES, WHAT ABOUT THE PALESTIN IANS?

YEAH, WHAT ABOUT THE PALESTIN IANS?

I DON'T TH INK EVEN ABE LINCOLN H IMSELF COULD SOLVE THAT ONE.

BUT LET'S SAY YOU'RE PRESIDENT.

YEAH, LET'S SAY YOU WAS PRESIDENT.

[Woman] WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

IT'S SIMPLE. IF THE U .N . WOULD REMOVE THE VERNOR AMENDMENT FROM RESOLUTION 1 65,

WE'D HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

HMM.

CAN I GET ANYONE ANYTH ING?

I'D LOVE A DRINK.

EXCUSE US.

- ISN'T SHE TERRIFIC? - HELL, I'M KNOCKED OUT.

- SHE'S RIGHT ABOUT THE VERNOR AMENDMENT. - OH, ABSOLUTELY!

[Hedges] IS IT THE ECONOMY OF THE STATE THAT WORRIES YOU, HARRY, OR YOUR OWN?

BOTH . IF I GO UNDER, I TAKE A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH ME.

HARRY, I'M GETTIN' TIRED.

I GOT BUSINESS.

HEY, DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YA, PAL? TAKE HER HOME?

WITH PLEASURE.

HEY. YOU DID A HELL OF A JOB.

NO KIDDIN', PAL. A HELL OF A JOB.

TH ING IS, SENATOR, WE CANNOT DO A TH ING ABOUT THAT ISSUE. . .

UNTIL THE U .N . REMOVES THE VERNOR AMENDMENT TO--

- YEAH, UH-- 1 65. - WITHOUT QUESTION, THAT WAS IT.

[Laughing]

YOU WERE GREAT. EVERYBODY LOVED YOU .

WHAT'S THE MATTER? DON'T YOU TH INK YOU WERE GREAT?

OH, YEAH . WE REALLY TRICKED 'EM, DIDN'T WE?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, IF YOU SAW A GOOD VENTRILOQU IST,

WHO WOULD YOU COMPLIMENT, THE DUMMY?

- YOU'RE NOT A DUMMY. - [Sighs] HARRY'S RIGHT.

WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DID IT.

I STILL DON'T KNOW ANYTH ING,

ONLY NOW NOBODY CAN TELL.

BUT PAUL, THERE WAS ONE TIME RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE,

WHEN I WAS SAYING SOMETH ING. . .

AND EVERYBODY WAS LOOKIN' AT ME LIKE I KNEW WHAT I WAS TALKIN' ABOUT.

[GiggIes] AND I LIKED IT SO MUCH .

DIDJA TEACH ME TO CHEAT 'CAUSE YOU TH INK I CAN'T LEARN?

OH, GOD, BILLIE, NO. I--

I JUST DIDN'T TH INK YOU WERE SO SERIOUS ABOUT IT.

I'M KINDA SURPRISED MYSELF. [GiggIes]

BUT I BEEN TH INKIN' A LOT LATELY ABOUT SOMETH ING MY DAD USED TO SAY.

"WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE, YOU'RE LESS THAN EVERYBODY."

AND I DON'T WANNA BE LESS.

I MEAN, I DON'T WANNA BE BETTER THAN ANYBODY NEITHER,

AND I DON'T WANNA GO ABOVE MYSELF.

I JUST WANT--

I WANT TO NOT BE LESS.

WELL, I'M AFRAID IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT.

CAUSE YOU'RE ALREADY MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE.

[Laughs QuietIy]

WELL, HERE WE ARE. SEE YOU TOMORROW?

SO, HOW ARE WE GONNA SMARTEN ME UP?

WELL,WE AREN'T GONNA DO IT.

YOU'RE GONNA DO IT.

IT'S YOUR BATTLE.

IT'S UP TO YOU .

GOOD N IGHT.

~~

WHAT ARE YOU READIN'?

DEMOCRACY IN AMERICA BY, UM--

POCAHONTAS.

YEAH, SHE'S GOOD.

~~

[Laughing QuietIy]

WHAT'S "ANACHRON ISTIC"?

DICTIONARY.

IT'S A DICTIONARY?

NO. LOOK IT UP IN THE DICTIONARY.

GEEZ, THAT'S A BOOK?

IT'S BIGGER THAN MY FIRST APARTMENT.

[Sighs]

~~

[Sighs]

BILLIE. BILLIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I DON'T LIKE TH IS. I DON'T LIKE TH IS AT ALL.

I MEAN, EVERY WORD IN THERE I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I HAD TO GO TO THE DICTIONARY SO MANY TIMES,

PEOPLE MUST HAVE THOUGHT I WAS FOREIGN OR SOMETH ING.

I MEAN, TH IS WHOLE TH ING IS MAKING ME FEEL DUMBER, NOT SMARTER.

I BEEN READIN' TH IS BOOK FOR A WEEK AND I'M ON PAGE 1 3?

- WELL, THAT'S NOT SO BAD. - YEAH, NOT IF THE BOOK'S 1 4 PAGES, IT'S NOT.

BILLIE, IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO GO FAST.

- IT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU TH INK. - YEAH, IT MAKES YOU TH INK, ALL RIGHT.

IT MAKES YOU TH INK HOW GREAT IT WOULD BE TO SIT AROUND AND WATCH TV.

I DON'T WANNA DO TH IS ANYMORE, PAUL.

- I QU IT. I MEAN IT! I QU IT! - BILLIE, BILLIE. WAIT A MINUTE.

BEING SMART ISN'T JUST ABOUT BOOKS.

IT'S ABOUT ASKING QUESTIONS.

IT'S ABOUT FINDING OUT WHY TH INGS ARE THE WAY THEY ARE.

DON'T STOP READING.

BUT YOU PICKED KIND OF A BIG BOOK TO BEGIN WITH .

HOW ABOUT STARTING WITH SOMETH ING A LITTLE SMALLER?

LIKE WHAT, A FORTUNE COOKIE?

[ChuckIing]

UH-- MMM.

[Sighs]

- TH IS JUST CAME FOR YOU . - OH, THANKS. [GiggIes]

[Whispering] "BILLIE DAWN-- ONE WHO CAN DO ANYTH ING."

~ DIDJA SAY I'VE GOT A LOT TO LEARN ~

~ BUT DON'T TH INK I'M TRYIN' NOT TO LEARN ~

~ SINCE TH IS IS A PERFECT SPOT TO LEARN ~

~ COME ON TEACH ME TON IGHT ~

~ STARTING WITH THE ABC OF IT ~ ~ ABC ~

~ RIGHT DOWN TO THE XYZ OF IT ~ ~ XYZ ~

AAAH!

~ HELP ME SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF IT, WHOA-OH-OH ~

~ I WANNA BE TAUGHT TON IGHT ~ ~ BOOP BOOP BOO-OOP ~

~ BECAUSE THE SKY'S A BLACKBOARD ~

~ H IGH ABOVE ME ~

~ IF A SHOOTING STAR GOES BY ~

~ I'LL USE THAT STAR TO WRITE I LOVE YOU ~

~ A THOUSAND TIMES ACROSS THE SKY ~

[Tim AIIen] TO ME A SAW IS A SAW. ~ WHAT ISN'T VERY CLEAR MY LOVE ~~

- H I . - HEY.

~ SHOULD THAT TEACHER STAND SO NEAR, MY LOVE, YEAH ~

~ GRADUATION'S ALMOST HERE MY LOVE ~

- STILL TRYIN' TO READ TH IS BOOK? - MM-HMM.

[Laughing]

WHAT? ~ COME ON, FELLAS ~

~ SAY IT TON I-IGHT ~ [Laughing UncontroIIaBIy]

~ YEAH, YEAH YEAH-YEAH-YEAH ~

~ COME ON TEACH ME TON IGHT ~ [Laughing LoudIy]

~ YEAH, COME ON, BABY YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ~

~ COME ON TEACH ME TON IGHT ~

~ YES, I WILL ~

~ MY BABY, BABY, BABY YEAH ~

~ COME ON TEACH ME TON IGHT, YEAH ~

~ I WANT YOU TO TEACH ME, HEY ~

~ TEACH ME, HEY NOW ~

~ TEACH ME TEACH ME ~

~ TEACH ME TEACH ME, BABY ~ [DoorBeII Chimes]

~ YEAH-YEAH, YEAH ~~

HELLO, JJ .

UM, BILLIE CALLED ME. IS SHE HERE?

YEAH, SHE IS.

- YOU WANNA LET HER KNOW I'M HERE? - UH . . . YEAH .

[Harry] I DON'T SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.

[Man] OUR PROBLEM IS SIMPLE ISSUES.

THERE ARE COMPETING ECONOMIC CONSIDERATIONS. WE'VE GOT TO WAIT--

[Harry] LOOK, BOYS, DON'T JERK ME AROUND.

IF YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME OUT,

I NEED TO KNOW, AND I NEED TO KNOW NOW.

[Ed] HARRY'S BLUNT ABOUT IT, BUT A LOT IS RIDING ON TH IS.

HE IS THE PRINCIPAL EMPLOYER OF THE WHOLE AREA.

OH, SORRY, I WAS LOOKING FOR BILLIE. SHE'S NOT HE--

SENATOR HEDGES, H I . PAUL VERRALL.

I INTERVIEWED YOU A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO.

- OF COURSE. I LOVED WHAT YOU DID. - THANKS.

OH, HERE SHE IS. I TH INK YOU TWO WOULD BE MORE COMFORTABLE--

BILLIE, WOULD YOU MAKE TH IS POOR MAN A DRINK? IT'S SWELTERING.

IT'S N ICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, PAUL.

N ICE TO SEE YOU, GENTLEMEN . GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN .

HARRY. HEY, KID.

[Door CIoses]

- WHAT DID HE MEAN, HE INTERVIEWED YOU? - HE'S A REPORTER.

NO, HE'S DOING A PUFF PIECE ON HARRY.

NOT ANYMORE, NOW THAT HE'S SEEN H IM ALONE IN THE ROOM WITH ALL OF US.

- THANKS FOR COMING SO QU ICK. - UH-- UH, QU ICKLY.

- QU ICKLY. - UH, BILLIE--

- HARRY'S GOT SIX SENATORS IN THERE. - SO? HE'S HAD 'EM BEFORE.

WELL, SENATORS DON'T USUALLY MAKE HOUSE CALLS.

WELL, HARRY GETS PEOPLE TO DO TH INGS THEY DON'T USUALLY DO.

YOU WANNA KNOW THE TRICK THAT I CAME UP WITH . . .

TO REMEMBER THE AMENDMENTS TO THE CONSTITUTION?

- BILLIE. - WHAT?

YOU'VE WORKED REALLY HARD TO MAKE YOURSELF SMART.

BUT?

WELL, A SMART PERSON KNOWS WHO SHE'S LIVING WITH .

WELL, GENTLEMEN, I REALLY DON'T WANT YOU TO WORRY ABOUT TH IS TOO MUCH .

~~ [CIassicaI Music] [PauI] AH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

OKAY. I TH INK YOU'LL REALLY ENJOY DAVID COPPERFIELD.

- YEAH? - ANYTH ING BY DICKENS IS FUN TO--

WHAT IS TH IS CRAP?

IT'S HAYDN, OP. 1 1 1 .

- IT'S A CLASSICAL PIECE, HARRY. - CLASSIC PIECE OF SH IT, IF YOU ASK ME.

I LIKE IT. IT'S GOOD BEFORE BED.

SO NOW, THE FIFTH AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS. . .

THAT YOU CAN'T TESTIFY AGAINST YOURSELF.

HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK? IT SEEMS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

TEACH IN' HER ABOUT THE FIFTH?

WELL, UH, THE CONSTITUTION . WE SAW IT THE OTHER DAY, AND I THOUGHT--

IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO TH INK. YOUR JOB IS TO GET HER TO TH INK.

- [BiIIie] HARRY. - IT'S OKAY, BILLIE.

FIRST OF ALL, SHE KNOWS HOW TO TH INK, AND SECOND--

I NEED HER SO SHE CAN TALK AT PARTIES, NOT PASS SOME ANCIENT H ISTORY TEST.

[ChuckIing] YOU TH INK THE CONSTITUTION IS ANCIENT H ISTORY?

- HEY, WORK ON HER, NOT ME. - NO EXTRA CHARGE.

I DON'T NEED NOTH IN' YOU COULD TELL ME.

THERE'S A LOT YOU DON'T KNOW HE COULD TELL YOU .

- I'LL BET. - WHO'S TOM PAINE, FOR INSTANCE?

WHAT DO I CARE WHO TOM PAINE IS?

IF HE'S NOT BUYIN' FROM ME, WHY SHOULD I CARE?

YOU'RE SO SMART, WHO'S DAVE RIGHETTI?

LEFT-HANDED PITCHER FOR THE GIANTS.

PITCHED A NO-H ITTER FOR THE YANKS IN '83. [BiIIie GiggIes]

SO, WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF GEN IUS?

- NO. - I FIRE GEN IUSES EVERY DAY.

CLEARLY.

YOU KNOW, THE MORE I SEE YOU, THE LESS I LIKE YOU .

IS THAT THE WAY YOU TALK TO YOUR SENATOR FRIENDS TOO, HARRY?

I'M GONNA TELL YOU TH IS ONCE:

DON'T PUSH YOUR LUCK, STAY OUT OF MY BUSINESS,

KEEP YOUR EYE ON WHAT I PAY YOU TO KEEP IT ON,

OR I'LL TEAR IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD.

I GOTTA GO, BILLIE.

JUST REMEMBER, FOUR EYES--

ANYTIME I WANT I CAN KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF.

- SEE YOU LATER, BILLIE. - BYE.

- ED SAID NOT TO FORGET THESE. - THAT GUY'S STARTIN' TO BUG ME.

HERE, DOLL. SIGN THESE PAPERS.

WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING IN WASH INGTON, HARRY?

WELL, I'M TELLING YOU TO SIGN THOSE PAPERS, AND YOU'RE GOING TO SIGN THEM.

I DON'T WANNA DO ANYTH ING THAT'S AGAINST THE LAW. THAT'S FOR SURE.

I AM THE LAW.

IT SEEMS TO ME, BY SIGN ING THESE,

- IT MAKES ME SOME KIND OF A PARTNER. - A SILENT PARTNER.

- SO? - SO SHUT UP!

YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS, HARRY?

YOU'RE NOT JUST RUDE, YOU'RE. . .

FLAGRANT ABOUT IT.

- YOU'VE BEEN READING DE TOCQUEVILLE. - WELL, YEAH .

YOU KNOW, AFTER WE TALKED ON YOUR SHOW,

I FIGURED THAT IT WAS PRETTY BAD THAT I HADN'T READ SUCH AN IMPORTANT BOOK,

SO I READ IT.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART?

WELL, I'M NOT SURE IT'S THE KIND OF A BOOK. . .

- WHERE YOU CAN HAVE A FAVORITE PART. - YES, YOU CAN . I DID.

I LIKED WHEN HE SAID, "WHAT IS NOT YET DONE. . .

IS ONLY WHAT WE HAVE NOT YET ATTEMPTED TO DO."

THAT MADE ME FEEL GOOD.

SO, WHAT PART DID YOU LIKE?

- MAY I BE HONEST? - YEAH .

I HAVEN'T READ IT.

BUT YOU SAID IT WAS THE ONE BOOK ON DEMOCRACY WORTH READING.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY SAYS.

IN FACT, THAT'S ALL ANYBODY KNOWS ABOUT DE TOCQUEVILLE,

EXCEPT YOU .

WELL, IT'S NOT SO BAD ONCE YOU STOP FALLING ASLEEP. [ChuckIing]

- H I . - H I .

- I COULDN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW IT WENT. - SO, SHE'S STUPID.

WELL, ALL I MEAN IS THAT I DIDN'T FEEL STUPID MYSELF.

GET TH IS. SHE HADN'T NEVER READ THE BOOK.

- YOU'RE KIDDING. - NO.

PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS PRETENDING TO BE SMARTER THAN THEY ARE.

I DON'T.

YEAH, I KNOW, BILLIE. YOU'RE AN HONEST WOMAN .

WAIT A MINUTE, WHEN I JUST SAID SHE HADN'T NEVER READ THE BOOK,

THAT WASN'T RIGHT, WAS IT?

- WELL, IT WAS A DOUBLE NEGATIVE, BUT-- - WELL, COME ON .

YOU TOLD ME YOU'D TELL ME WHEN I MADE A MISTAKE.

I MEAN, A PERSON WHO READS DE TOCQUEVILLE

SHOULD KNOW NOT TO DO NO DOUBLE NEGATIVES.

YES, MA'AM.

SMELLS GOOD IN HERE, DOESN'T IT?

[InhaIing] MMM.

IF I'D KNOWN ART SMELLED TH IS GOOD, I WOULD'VE COME A LONG TIME AGO.

[Laughing]

WOW.

GOD, IT'S SO SMALL, BUT IT'S LIKE IT'S BIGGER THAN THE WHOLE ROOM.

VAN GOGH PAINTED TH IS NEAR THE END OF H IS LIFE.

WHAT A SHAME THAT HE WAS NEVER RECOGN IZED WH ILE HE WAS STILL LIVING,

DON'T YOU TH INK?

MY MOTHER DIED WHEN I WAS LITTLE. . .

AND MY DAD RAISED ME AND MY BROTHERS.

AND HE LOVED US SO MUCH, BUT. . .

I NEVER KNEW A WORLD LIKE THAT.

WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER KISS ME AGAIN?

- WELL, IT'S COMPLICATED. - WHAT'S COMPLICATED?

I MEAN, EITHER YOU KISS ME OR YOU DON'T, AND YOU DIDN'T.

BILLIE, I'M WORKIN' FOR HARRY,

AND I'M WRITIN' A STORY ABOUT H IM, AND YOU'RE LIVING WITH H IM.

THEN WHY'D YOU KISS ME THE FIRST TIME?

I MADE A MISTAKE.

GEE, SORRY.

BILLIE. BILLIE, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU .

IT'S ABOUT ETH ICS.

IF I GET INVOLVED WITH YOU, I'M NO DIFFERENT THAN HARRY.

I DON'T WANNA USE YOU LIKE HARRY USES SENATORS TO GET WHAT HE WANTS.

YOU'RE CRAZY ABOUT ME, AREN'T YOU?

YES.

THAT'S WHY YOU GET SO MAD AT HARRY.

I DON'T HATE HARRY.

I HATE H IS KIND OF LIFE,

WHAT HE DOES, WHAT HE STANDS FOR.

HARRY DOESN'T KNOW ANY BETTER.

HE'S NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT ANYBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD BUT H IMSELF.

- WELL, WHO DOES? - OH, GOD, BILLIE, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE DO.

THE WHOLE DAMN H ISTORY OF THE WORLD. . .

IS THE STORY OF THE FIGHT BETWEEN THE SELFISH AND THE UNSELFISH .

WHERE DO I FIT IN?

I--I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW.

YOU STILL TH INK I'M THE KIND OF PERSON THAT GOES WITH HARRY?

YOU'RE STILL WITH H IM, AREN'T YOU?

BILLIE, COME ON NOW. BE FAIR.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME ALL YOU WANTED OUT OF LIFE. . .

WAS A MINK COAT AND A TV THAT FIT IN YOUR PURSE.

BUT THAT'S WHY I DID ALL TH IS LEARN ING: TO CHANGE.

AND IT DIDN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

- YOU DON'T TH INK YOU'RE DIFFERENT? - I DO, SURE,

BUT YOU DON'T.

YOU STILL SEE ME THE SAME AS I WAS.

IN THAT WAY YOU'RE NO DIFFERENT FROM HARRY.

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

CAUSE HE STILL TH INKS I'M A BIMBO FROM VEGAS, AND SO DO YOU .

NO, I DON'T--

YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER GONE THROUGH ANYTH ING LIKE TH IS FOR ANYBODY.

I MEAN, LAST N IGHT I STARTED TH INKING, AND I COULDN'T FALL ASLEEP FOR 1 0 MINUTES.

BILLIE, WAIT.

HOW COME I FEEL LIKE I DON'T FIT IN ANYMORE?

TELL ME WHY I'M SO UNHAPPY WITH EVERYTH ING THAT I USED TO WANT.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETH ING, PAUL.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ALL TH IS BOOK STUFF AND ETH ICS AND EVERYTH ING,

BUT I DO KNOW IT ONLY TAKES YOU SO FAR,

AND AFTER THAT, YOU HAVE TO GO ON WHAT YOU FEEL,

NOT ON WHAT YOU KNOW.

BUT I KNOW ONE TH ING.

THERE'S A TIME BETWEEN A GUY AND A GIRL. . .

WHEN IT EITHER COMES OFF OR IT DOESN'T.

AND IF IT DOESN'T THEN, IT NEVER DOES.

UH, MAYBE WE HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO OUR TIME YET.

NO. WE DID. YOU JUST DROPPED THE BALL.

[Harry] FOR ALL OUR GRIPIN' ABOUT WHATEVER, WE'RE A LUCKY GROUP.

WE GOT FOOD, A ROOF, GOOD FRIENDS AROUND US.

I WAS WATCH IN' THE TUBE THE OTHER DAY, AND I SAW TH IS STORY

ABOUT HOW MANY HOMELESS WE GOT THAT ARE VETERANS.

I TH INK THEY OUGHTA TACK TH IS ON THE CONSTITUTION :

IF YOU RISK YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR COUNTRY, YOU OUGHTA HAVE A HOME.

WELL, THE SIXTH AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS

YOU CAN'T BE DEPRIVED OF PROPERTY WITHOUT COMPENSATION .

IT'S TOO BAD THEY DIDN'T OFFER THAT PROTECTION TO VETERANS.

THAT'S IN THE FIFTH AMENDMENT.

- UH, NO, NO, NO. - I TH INK IT'S THE SIXTH .

DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO HER. SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.

ACTUALLY YOU'RE BOTH WRONG. PROPERTY COMPENSATION IS THE SEVENTH .

- IT'S THE FIFTH . - BILLIE,

EVERYBODY KNOWS THE FIFTH AMENDMENT

IS THE ONE WHERE YOU DON'T HAVE TO INCRIMINATE YOURSELF.

ACTUALLY, BOTH THE SENATORS ARE WRONG.

BILLIE'S RIGHT.

HA! THANKS.

THERE ARE A BUNCH OF CLAUSES IN THE FIFTH

AND ONE OF THEM IS PROPERTY COMPENSATION .

- THE SIXTH IS RIGHT TO A SPEEDY TRIAL. - YOU PUT US TO SHAME.

HOW DO YOU KEEP 'EM STRAIGHT? ARE YOU A CONSTITUTIONAL LAWYER?

NO.

UM, I'M A STUDENT, I GUESS.

I HAVE A HARD TIME KEEPING 'EM STRAIGHT MYSELF,

SO I HAVE TO MAKE UP LITTLE TRICKS. LIKE A, UH . . .

MNEMON IC DEVICE?

I DIDN'T BUY ANYTH ING FOR IT, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN .

- ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYIN'-- - WHAT'S YOUR TRICK?

- REALLY? - MM-HMM.

YOU'D PROBABLY TH INK I'M NUTS, BUT I USE "THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS."

[Laughter]

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TEACH IT TO US?

- REALLY? - SURE. YEAH .

- OH, TH IS'LL BE FUN . - BILLIE,

OKAY, STOP IT. THAT'S ENOUGH . WE GOT BUSINESS TO DO HERE.

WE WERE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT TH IS WAS A SOCIAL OCCASION .

PLEASE.

THANKS. DOES ANYBODY HAVE A PEN?

[Man] MM-HMM, SURE. [BiIIie] THANK YOU .

[CIanging]

AND NOW, THE SENATE FAMILY SINGERS. . .

WITH "THE TWELVE INTERESTING AMENDMENTS."

OP. NUMBER 1 . H IT IT.

~ THE FIRST AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS ~

[Senator] ~ FREEDOM OF RELIGION SPEECH AND PRESS ~

~ THE SECOND PART OF THE FIRST AMENDMENT SAYS ~

[Woman] ~ PEACEFUL ASSEMBLY ~

[Senator] ~ AND JUST SAY ANY CRAZY TH ING YOU LIKE ~

~ THE SECOND AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS ~

RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS.

~ PEACEFUL ASSEMBLY ~

~ AND JUST SAY ANY CRAZY TH ING YOU LIKE ~

GOOD. ~ THE FOURTH AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS ~

~ NO SEARCH AND SEIZURE ~

HERE IS MY GUN . FREEZE. [Laughing]

~ ASSEMBLE AND BE N ICE ~

~ AND JUST SAY ANY CRAZY TH ING YOU LIKE ~

[BiIIie] ~ THE FIFTH AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS ~

~~ [DrumroII]

DON'T RAT ON YOURSELF.

~ WHERE'S YOUR WARRANT PLEASE ~ HERE IS MY GUN . FREEZE.

~ ASSEMBLE AND BE N ICE ~

~ AND JUST SAY ANY CRAZY TH ING YOU LIKE ~

VERY GOOD. ~ THE SIXTH AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS ~

~ RIGHT TO A QU ICK TRIAL ~

DON'T RAT ON YOURSELF.

~ WHERE'S YOUR WARRANT PLEASE ~

HERE IS MY GUN . FREEZE. ~ ASSEMBLE AND BE N ICE ~

~ AND JUST SAY ANY CRAZY TH ING YOU LIKE ~

~ THE TH IRTEENTH AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS ~

~ SLAVERY IS INVALID ~ RIGHT TO A QU ICK TRIAL ~

[HesitantIy] ~ DON'T RAT ON YOURSELF ~

- ~ WHERE'S YOUR WARRANT PLEASE - ~ HERE IS MY GUN, FREEZE ~

~ ASSEMBLE AND BE N ICE AND JUST SAY ANY CRAZY TH ING YOU LIKE ~

GOOD. ~ THE FIFTEENTH AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS ~

~ ALL RACES GET THE BALLOT ~ ~ SLAVERY IS INVALID ~

- ~ RIGHT TO A QU ICK TRIAL ~ - ~ DON'T RAT ON YOURSELF ~

- ~ WHERE'S YOUR WARRANT PLEASE ~ - ~ HERE IS MY GUN, FREEZE ~

~ ASSEMBLE AND BE N ICE ~ ~ AND JUST SAY ANY CRAZY TH ING YOU LIKE ~

[Laughter] ~ THE SIXTEENTH AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS ~

~ CONGRESS CAN TAKE TAXES ~ ~ ALL RACES GET THE BALLOT ~

~ SLAVERY IS INVALID ~ ~ RIGHT TO A QU ICK TRIAL ~

~ DON'T RAT ON YOURSELF ~

~ WHERE'S YOUR WARRANT PLEASE ~ ~ HERE IS MY GUN, FREEZE ~

~ ASSEMBLE AND BE N ICE ~ ~ AND JUST SAY ANY CRAZY TH ING YOU LIKE ~

YES! ~ THE EIGHTEENTH AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS ~

~ ALCOHOL WILL KILL YOU ~ ~ UNCLE SAM WILL BILL YOU ~

~ ALL RACES GET THE BALLOT ~ ~ SLAVERY IS INVALID ~

~ RIGHT TO A QU ICK TRIAL ~ ~ DON'T RAT ON YOURSELF ~

~ WHERE'S YOUR WARRANT PLEASE ~ ~ HERE IS MY GUN, FREEZE ~

~ ASSEMBLE AND BE N ICE ~ ~ AND JUST SAY ANY CRAZY TH ING YOU LIKE ~

~ THE N INETEENTH AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION SAYS ~

~ WOMEN VOTE LIKE MEN DO ~

~ ALCOHOL WILL KILL YOU ~ ~ UNCLE SAM WILL BILL YOU ~

- ~ ALL RACES GET THE BALLOT ~ - ~ SLAVERY IS INVALID ~

- ~ RIGHT TO A QU ICK TRIAL ~ - ~ DON'T RAT YOURSELF OUT ~

~ WHERE'S YOUR WARRANT PLEASE ~ ~ HERE'S MY GUN, FREEZE ~

~ ASSEMBLE AND BE N ICE ~

[Together] ~ AND JUST SAY ANY CRAZY TH ING YOU LIKE ~~

[Harry] YOU'RE THE GUY THAT ISN'T COMIN' ACROSS!

I WANT THAT BASE OPENED!

[Hedges] I AM NOT AN EMPLOYEE OF YOURS, HARRY!

NO? WHY DO YOU TH INK I BOUGHT 40,000 COPIES OF YOUR BOOK?

CAUSE I KEPT MISPLACING IT?

I AM NOT SOME LACKEY IN ONE OF YOUR MALLS!

[Hedges] I WILL DECIDE IF I HELP YOU, AND HOW MUCH I HELP YOU .

YOU'RE MAKING A TERRIBLE MISTAKE TREATING ME TH IS WAY.

YOU ARE NOT A CHARITY. YOU ARE NOT A COST. YOU ARE AN INVESTMENT.

IF YOU DON'T WANNA WIND UP AS A SECRETARY TO THE YMCA,

- YOU DO WHAT I TELL YOU! - HARRY.

HARRY, FOR GOD'S SAKE, LET ME GET H IM BACK HERE. LET'S CLEAR TH IS.

[Hedges] I TH INK HE WAS CLEAR ENOUGH .

GO ON!

- BILLIE. - H I .

YOU KNOW, I DON'T TH INK THAT HARRY SHOULD TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT.

YOU'RE A SENATOR.

WELL, THE OPERATION OF GOVERNMENT IS COMPLEX.

YEAH, BUT I DON'T TH INK ANYBODY SHOULD TALK TO A SENATOR LIKE THAT.

- A SENATOR IS A WONDERFUL TH ING. - THANK YOU .

YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT IF HARRY PUSHES YOU AROUND,

HE'S PUSH ING AROUND A FEW MILLION PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR YOU .

- WELL, NOT QU ITE THAT MANY. - HOW MANY THEN?

863,434.

THAT'S A LOT OF PEOPLE TO PUSH AROUND.

WHY DO YOU LET H IM? I MEAN, WHO VOTED FOR H IM?

WELL, AT LEAST HE BELIEVES IN WHAT HE'S DOING.

MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE'S SUCH A HARD MAN TO SAY NO TO.

IT'S GETTING EASIER.

- LET ME KNOW YOUR SECRET. GOOD-BYE. - BYE.

HELLO, BILLIE.

- WHAT IS TH IS? - SAME OLD STUFF.

WELL, I LIKE HAVING TH INGS EXPLAINED. I FOUND THAT OUT.

WELL, LET ME EXPLAIN TH IS. DON'T START UP WITH H IM. THEY'RE LEGIT.

WHY CAN'T I READ 'EM THEN?

THERE MUST BE SOMETH ING WRONG WITH THEM.

THEY'RE ALL RIGHT! I--I'M SORRY.

IT'S OKAY. I UNDERSTAND.

YOU DON'T WANNA BE DOIN' H IS DIRTY WORK.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE BETTER THAN H IM.

THAT'S ENOUGH, BILLIE, PLEASE.

I'M NOT SO SURE. MAYBE YOU'RE WORSE.

"PURSUANT."

GOOD WORD. [Door Opens]

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

ED.

- WHAT'D HE DO TO YOU? - IT'S WHAT HE'S DONE TO H IMSELF.

DID YOU KNOW HE USED TO BE ATTORNEY GENERAL OF A WHOLE STATE?

DID YOU KNOW THAT HE WROTE A BOOK?

IT WAS CALLED "THE ROOTS OF FREEDOM."

IT WAS GREAT. I READ IT. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

DON'T TIE UP YOUR NEW BRAIN WITH ED.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT AS BIG AS I USED TO TH INK EITHER.

ALL THROUGH H ISTORY THERE'S BEEN BIGGER MEN, AND BETTER.

NAME SOMEBODY BIGGER.

MY FATHER.

- [Spits] MIN IMUM WAGE. - SO WHAT?

AT LEAST HE SPENT TIME WITH ME.

- I WORK EVERY DAY, EVEN SUNDAYS. - YEAH, BUT FOR WHAT, HARRY?

- FOR WHO-- FOR WHOM? - FOR MONEY! WHAT DO YOU TH INK?

SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO ROB A BANK. THAT'S WORK.

I HAVE NEVER IN MY WHOLE LIFE-- [Door Opens]

--ROBBED A BANK! WELL, YOU'RE STILL NOT BIG. YOU KNOW WHY?

WHY?

BECAUSE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTH ING BIG.

LISTEN, CUTIE, DON'T GET NERVOUS JUST 'CAUSE YOU READ A BOOK.

YOU'RE STILL AS DUMB AS YOU EVER WERE,

BUT I DON'T MIND 'CAUSE YOU'RE STILL THE HOTTEST LITTLE P--

COME 'ERE.

I NEVER SEEN YOU LIKE TH IS. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

MY LIFE IS WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME.

MAYBE I AM DUMB, BUT I KNOW THERE'S A BETTER LIFE THAN TH IS.

I WANNA BE LIKE THOSE VAN GOGH PEOPLE,

WHERE PEOPLE CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER.

HARRY!

YOU KNOW, YOU GOT MONEY, HARRY, BUT YOU GOT A CHEAP LIFE.

I DON'T OWN NOTH IN' CHEAP EXCEPT YOU .

YEAH, THERE'S A LITTLE LAW ABOUT THAT. NOBODY CAN OWN ANYBODY.

YEAH, WELL, WHAT I SAY IS LAW,

SO SHUT UP.

SIGN THE PAPERS.

- BUSINESS IS ALL YOU CARE ABOUT. - BUSINESS?

BUSINESS BOUGHT YOU THAT LITTLE OUTFIT YOU'RE IN . . .

AND JUST ABOUT EVERYTH ING ELSE YOU OWN, SO CUT THE CRAP! SIGN THE PAPERS!

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT'RE YOU WAITIN' FOR?

- I WANNA READ 'EM FIRST. - JUST DO IT.

LISTEN, YOU BIG OX, IF I'M PUTTIN' MY NAME ON SOMETH IN', I WANNA KNOW WHAT IT SAYS.

THAT'S IT. I'VE HAD IT.

YOU'RE GONNA SIGN THEM PAPERS, AND THEN I'M SENDIN' YOU BACK TO CH ICAGO.

NO.

- SIGN THE PAPERS! - I WANNA READ 'EM FIRST!

NO! HARRY!

NO! [SoBBing]

NO, HARRY!

~~

DID YA DO IT?

[Sighing] YEAH .

GET OUT.

~~

HEY. HEY, HEY, HEY!

IT SU ITES YOU RIGHT, YOU BIG ANARCH IST.

DON'T YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON ME AGAIN .

IF TH INGS AREN'T WORKIN' OUT BETWEEN US, THEN THEY'RE NOT WORKIN' OUT,

BUT DON'T MAKE ME HATE YOU .

[EIevator BeII Rings]

DO ME A FAVOR, HARRY.

- WHAT? - DROP DEAD.

I TH INK THAT HE'S DONE SOMETH ING ILLEGAL,

AND NOW THAT I'VE SIGNED THESE PAPERS MAYBE I HAVE TOO.

- HAVE YOU READ THEM? - NO. H IM AND ED WOULDN'T LET ME.

- HE AND ED. NOMINATIVE CASE. - OH, YEAH .

SEE HOW UPSET I AM?

- I'LL JUST CHECK AND SEE. - YEAH . I'LL WAIT HERE.

IS MR. BROCK UPSTAIRS? DO YOU KNOW?

- NO. HE WENT OUT A WH ILE AGO. - THANKS.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE KEEPS THE PAPERS YOU SIGNED?

YEAH . I'LL SHOW YOU,

BUT WE HAVE TO HURRY 'CAUSE WHO KNOWS WHEN HE'S GONNA COME BACK.

RIGHT IN HERE. HE KEEPS EVERYTH ING IN TH IS TH ING.

- IN TH IS ONE? - YEAH .

OH, PAUL--IS IT IN A BROWN FOLDER, YOU SAY?

HURRY! WE'LL JUST TAKE EVERYTH ING.

- IS TH IS IT? - YES.

[Door Opens] OH! OH, NO!

HURRY! UM, UM--

WHOA! OH!

SHH!

[Footsteps] OH, NO. IT'S H IM!

[Door Opens, Footsteps]

[Gasping, Screaming] [Screaming]

THANK YOU .

[Door CIoses]

TH IS ONE.

- HERE? - MM-HMM.

HE'S PUT ALL OF H IS COMPAN IES IN YOUR NAME.

THEY'RE ALL CALLED "BILLIE"?

NO. I--I MEAN, YOU OWN THEM.

THESE PAPERS DON'T GIVE H IM CONTROL OVER YOU .

IT GIVES YOU CONTROL OVER H IM.

[ChuckIing] YOU'RE HARRY'S BOSS.

- I AM? - YEAH .

- UH-OH . - WHAT?

OF COURSE.

- WHAT? - THESE ARE PHOTOSTAT COPIES. . .

OF CHECKS THAT HARRY'S WRITTEN TO THE SENATORS.

HE'S BEEN BRIBING THE SENATORS TO KEEP THAT BASE OPEN .

WHAT DOES HE CARE IF THE BASE CLOSES?

- OH! ALL H IS CUSTOMERS. - EXACTLY.

OH . POOR HARRY.

YEAH, POOR BRIBE-GIVIN', LAW-BREAKIN' HARRY.

ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA TAKE TH IS STUFF TO THE PAPER.

BY GEORGE, I KNEW IT. NOW ALL I GOTTA DO IS WRITE IT.

UM, JUST A MINUTE.

I CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT.

JUST ANOTHER NECKLACE, OR ARE YOU GONNA TRY SOMETH ING ELSE?

MAY I HELP YOU, SIR? GIVE ME THE BIGGEST WEDDING RING YOU GOT.

- WHAT? - THAT'S RIGHT. I'M MARRYING HER.

- YOU'RE KIDDING. - SHE'S BEEN JUMPY, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, IT'S BEEN EIGHT YEARS. WHAT DO YOU TH INK SHE'S WORRYING ABOUT?

ANYWAY, I WAS ROUGH ON HER.

SHE NEEDS TO KNOW I WANT HER AROUND NO MATTER WHAT.

I'LL TAKE TH IS STUFF TO THE PAPER.

YOU PACK AND I'LL COME BACK FOR YOU, OKAY?

PAUL, I DON'T TH INK THAT I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN .

WELL, UM--WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

WHY? BECAUSE OF TH IS?

NO. I JUST WONDER SOMETIMES. . .

IF IT'S GOOD TO FIND OUT SO MUCH SO QU ICK.

- UH, UH-- QU ICKLY. - SO QU ICKLY.

I TH INK I'LL JUST GO AWAY FOR A WH ILE.

WHERE? I DON'T KNOW. I THOUGHT MAYBE I'D GO SEE MY DAD.

[Sighs] WELL, I GOT A BETTER IDEA. LET'S GET MARRIED.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

[Sighs] I HAVE BEEN,

BUT I LOVE YOU .

I CAN'T TH INK ABOUT TH IS NOW.

WELL, WHO SAYS YOU GOTTA TH INK ABOUT EVERYTH ING ALL THE TIME?

BILLIE!

THERE.

BILLIE? MARRY ME?

GIMME THOSE PAPERS.

I CAN'T. [Harry] BILLIE!

- GO QU ICK. HE'LL KILL YOU . - BILLIE.

OH, HELLO. I DIDN'T HEAR YOU .

- WHERE'VE YOU BEEN? - WHAT'S THE MATTER? DID YOU MISS ME?

I HAD AN IDEA.

YOU KNOW ME. I HATE WAITIN' WHEN I GOT AN IDEA.

HEY, I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR BEIN' MAD.

I WAS TH INKIN' ABOUT WHY YOU'RE SO ON EDGE. . .

AND THEN I REALIZED THAT, UH,

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME.

I CAN FEEL HOW MUCH I MEAN TO YOU HARRY.

HEY, I'VE DONE A LOT OF GOOD TH INGS TOO.

DON'T FORGET ABOUT THOSE JUST 'CAUSE OF ONE MISTAKE. HERE.

MAYBE TH IS'LL HELP. [CIicks Tongue]

- BOY, WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS. - YEAH .

JUST NAME THE DATE.

I'M TH INKIN' OF THE 1 3th.

- WHAT MONTH? - IT'S NOT A DAY.

IT'S THE TH IRTEENTH AMENDMENT: NO MORE SLAVERY.

- WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? - I CAN'T MARRY YOU, HARRY.

YOU'RE TOO DUMB.

YOU TH INK DUMB PEOPLE MAKE TH IS MUCH MONEY?

I TH INK ONLY A DUMB PERSON WOULD TH INK MONEY MAKES 'EM SMART.

I GOT A DIFFERENT KIND OF LIFE IN MIND.

TH IS SOMETH IN' YOUR LITTLE TEACHER TAUGHT YOU?

HE'S WHAT NEEDS TO BE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE.

- I DON'T WANT YOU SEEIN' H IM NO MORE. - I WON'T.

- THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. - IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF YOU .

LOOK, YOU'RE UPSET ABOUT THE H IT. I KNOW.

I'M SORRY.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THAT H IT HARRY.

EVERYTH ING THAT I'VE BEEN READIN' ABOUT AND LEARN ING AND THAT PAUL'S BEEN TELLIN' ME,

IT MIXED ME UP.

BUT WHEN YOU H IT ME, IT WAS LIKE EVERYTH ING JUST FELL TOGETHER AND MADE SENSE.

AND I SEE HOW SOME PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS GIVIN' IT AND SOME ARE ALWAYS TAKIN' IT,

AND I'M SWITCH IN' CATEGORIES. I'M NOT TAKIN' IT ANYMORE.

OKAY, FINE. LOOK, I GOT AN IDEA.

WHY DON'T WE GO TO MY ROOM, AND I'LL CALM YOU DOWN?

HEY, YOU MARRY ME OR YOU'LL BE SORRY!

I'M ALREADY SORRY! THAT'S WHY I'M LEAVING.

BILLIE, I'M OFFERING TO MAKE YOU A REAL PARTNER,

A PARTNER IN HERE.

I WANT YOU TO BE MY WIFE.

MEN ARE UNBELIEVABLE.

I MEAN, I GIVE AND GIVE AND GIVE, AND IT'S LIKE WALLPAPER TO YOU .

YOU JUST WALK RIGHT PAST IT.

AND THEN YOU MAKE ONE EFFORT, AND YOU TH INK THAT WE'RE EQUAL.

I MEAN, IT ONLY LOOKS LIKE A BIG EFFORT BECAUSE YOU NEVER MADE ONE BEFORE.

NO. NO. NO!

FINE. FINE. FINE!

ED!

WE'LL SEE HOW YOU GET ALONG WITHOUT ME.

YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU DID FIVE YEARS AGO.

YOU LOOK LIKE SH IT.

- OH, YEAH? WELL AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED-- - YEAH?

VICE-VERSA.

I'D FORGOTTEN HOW GREAT TH IS REALLY IS.

SHE'S LEAVING ME. LET'S MAKE SURE EVERYTH ING'S IN ORDER.

OH, JESUS. WE GOTTA GET THESE COMPAN IES BACK IN MY NAME.

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR THAT STUFF THAT I'M ALWAYS SIGN ING?

[Ed] YES.

- LIKE THAT FILE? - [Ed] YES.

- IN THE BLUE COVER? - YES. YES.

[DoorBeII Chimes] OH .

- PAUL HAS IT. - WHAT?

YOU GAVE IT TO H IM? WHY?

SO HE COULD TAKE 'EM TO THE PAPER.

ARE YOU SELLIN' ME OUT?

[PauI] HELLO? ANYBODY HOME?

JJ, LOCK THE DOORS.

GET IN HERE AND SIT DOWN .

WHY, THANK YOU . I'D LOVE A SEAT. MY FEET ARE KILLIN' ME.

[ExhaIing] OH .

HELLO.

- HOW'VE YOU BEEN? - VERY GOOD, THANK YOU .

- AND YOU? - PRETTY GOOD. BUSY.

ALRIGHT, CUT THE TEA PARTY CRAP!

IS SHE TELLIN' THE TRUTH? DID YOU TAKE THAT STUFF TO THE PAPERS?

BILLIE ALWAYS TELLS THE TRUTH .

ALL RIGHT, PAL, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, YOU BRING THOSE PAPERS BACK HERE,

OR I WILL MAKE YOU VERY SORRY.

- TELL H IM I'M NOT BLUFFIN'. - [Low Voice] HE'S NOT BLUFFIN'.

LIKE ONCE--TH IS WOULD BE GOOD FOR THE ARTICLE--ABOUT SIX YEARS AGO

THERE WAS A STRIKE AT ONE OF--

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW NOTH IN' ABOUT THAT!

I KNOW THAT WAS A DOUBLE NEGATIVE.

YOU STUPID GODDAMN--

I ALSO HAPPEN TO KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PAYIN' PEOPLE OF

- SO THAT THEY WON'T SHUT DOWN THAT BASE. - WHAT?

OH, I FORGOT. YOU'RE NOT A BOOK READER LIKE US.

- YOU BRIBED 'EM! - NO, NO. BILLIE, BILLIE.

- "BRIBE" IS A STRONG WORD. - THEY GOT $1 50,000 EACH .

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THAT, A TIP?

YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO TAKE THOSE PAPERS.

YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO WHAT YOU DID, BUT YOU DID IT.

AND NOW THAT YOU'VE DONE IT, THE PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW.

- WHAT PEOPLE? -THE PEOPLE.

- NEVER HEARD OF 'EM. - OH, YOU WILL.

1 2 OF 'EM ARE GONNA BE DECIDIN' WHERE YOU'RE GONNA LIVE.

SO WHO ARE YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE GOVERNMENT?

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I AM.

- SINCE WHEN? - SINCE 1 776.

EXACTLY.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT'LL IT TAKE, PAUL?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - I TH INK HE'S TRYING TO TIP YOU .

AHA.

- WHAT'LL YOU TAKE? - I'LL TAKE A BEER.

A LIGHT ONE IF YOU GOT IT.

GET BACK HERE. DON'T TRY TO GET FUNNY.

I AIN'T NEVER MET A GUY YET THAT DIDN'T HAVE H IS PRICE.

- I'M READY TO TALK BIG NUMBERS. - OH, YOU AND YOUR BIG NUMBERS.

IF YOU DON'T WATCH OUT, YOU'LL BE WEARING BIG NUMBERS RIGHT ACROSS YOUR CHEST.

YOU SEE, HARRY, THERE ARE SOME TH INGS THAT ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY.

[Harry] LIKE WHAT, YOUR CAREER?

NOPE.

LIKE DOIN' THE RIGHT TH ING.

COME ON, BILLIE. LET'S GO.

- [BiIIie] HARRY. HARRY! - STOP IT!

- HARRY! HARRY! - WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

HARRY! YOU COULDA KILLED H IM.

WHAT DO YOU CARE?

WHAT DO I CARE? 'M GONNA MARRY H IM, THAT'S WHAT I CARE!

- YOU WHAT? - YOU WHAT?

I'M GONNA MARRY H IM BECAUSE HE FINALLY SMARTENED UP.

- I NEED A DRINK. - LET ME GET IT FOR YOU, MR. DEVERY.

AM I IN THE ROOM?

HELLO! AM I IN THE ROOM?

YOU BEEN CHEATIN' ON ME ALL THE TIME WITH TH IS GUY?

NO, WE NEVER DID ANYTH ING.

I WANTED TO, BUT HE WOULDN'T LET ME.

SO LET'S JUST DROP THE WHOLE TH ING.

YOU GET HER AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT I'M DOIN'.

OH, BUT I DO WORRY, HARRY.

SEE, WE GOT TH IS BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF MACH INERY--

I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO ANY MORE LECTURES FROM YOU .

YOU TALK MORE THAN A SENATOR.

YOU WANNA SCREW UP BROCK VILLAGE? GO AHEAD!

I GOT PLENTY OTHER BUSINESSES! SO GET OUT!

- I'M SICK OF THE SIGHT OF BOTH OF YA! - PERHAPS YOU'RE FORGETTIN'

THAT YOUR OTHER BUSINESSES BELONG TO ME

AW, CHRIST.

REMEMBER HOW YOU USED TO SAY WE'D GO AWAY, BUY A HOUSE ON THE BEACH?

WHY DIDN'T WE EVER DO THAT?

I COULDN'T DO THAT. I HAD TO WORK.

BUT WHY? YOU HAD FIVE COMPAN IES WHEN I MET YOU .

WHEN WAS IT GONNA BE ENOUGH SO WE COULD ENJOY IT?

ONE TH ING I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF. . .

IS YOU AND PROFESSOR WINDBAG.

WELL, THAT WILL BE CORRECTED SHORTLY WHEN I LEAVE.

HERE'S THE DEAL:

I'LL GIVE THE COMPAN IES BACK TO YOU, BUT ONLY ONE AT A TIME.

- WHAT? - AND ONLY ONE A YEAR.

- WHAT? - OH, MY GOD.

FIRST, YOU'RE CALLING THOSE SENATORS AND GETTING THAT MONEY BACK.

THEN YOU'RE GETTIN' OUT OF TOWN, OR PAUL WILL WRITE THAT STORY.

IF I TAKE THAT MONEY BACK, THEY CLOSE THE BASE. I LOSE THE MALL.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IF YOU HAVE ALL MY COMPAN IES?

- MAYBE TAKE A WATERCOLOR CLASS. - VERY FUNNY.

- ALSO, YOU SHOULD WALK THE BEACH . - I DON'T LIVE NEAR A BEACH .

WELL, THAT'S OKAY. I'M RICH FOR A LITTLE BIT. I'LL BUY YOU A BEACH,

AND I'LL PAY FOR YOUR WATERCOLOR CLASS,

AND I'LL GET YOU A TICKET TO THE MUSEUM SO YOU CAN SEE THAT VAN GOGH PAINTING.

ARE YOU NUTS? WHY SHOULD I DO ALL TH IS STUFF?

- YOU HAVE TO ASK WHY? - YEAH .

THAT'S WHY. SO YOU'LL KNOW WHAT ALL THAT STUFF IS FOR.

THEN MAYBE YOU'LL FIND A LITTLE BIT OF WHAT I'VE FOUND.

TRUST ME, HARRY. TH IS WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY.

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

WHAT DO YOU TH INK, I WAS BORN YESTERDAY?

GOD, I LOVE TH IS WOMAN .

- BYE, JJ . - BYE.

- YOU READY? - ABSOLUTELY.

YOU DO WHAT I'M TELLIN' YA!

~~