All language subtitles for Bitter Moon-English

I still can't believe
we're really on our way.

Nor can I.

It's so fantastic.

Thank you, darling.

Mwah!

Oh, don't run away.
I won't be a sec.

Uh, Fiona?

Fiona?

- Stay here.
- Oh, blimey.

What's the matter?

- Help me clean her up.
- Yeah.

- There.
- Gently. There we are.

Up-- there we are.

That's better.
I'm going to clean you up.

Let's get...

wipe those tears, eh?

Oh, God.

Just try to take a deep breath.
Now take a deep breath.

You'll feel better.

A deep breath
and fresh air,
that's what you need.

Here.

You're very pretty.

Oh.

There we are.

Are you going to Istanbul?

Yes, then we're flying
on to Bombay.

How far are you going?

Oh, farther.

Much farther.

But why on earth
go to India?

I think-- think we need--
felt we needed a break

from the rat race, really.

And, you know,
India's got so much
to teach the West, doesn't it?

Really?
What, for example?

Well, um,
you know, inner serenity,
that kind of stuff.

Ah!
The Karma-Nirvana Syndrome?

Lots of poppycock,
I'm afraid.

No, India's all flies,
smells and beggars.

And as for serenity,
it's the noisiest place
on earth.

Well, if you say so,
I'm sure.

Now I'm sure Mr. Singh
is just being modest

about his own part
of the world.

Anyway, I can't wait
to get there, darling.

See,
it's my anniversary treat.

We've been married
for seven years.

Ah, so it's a form
of marital therapy.

Quite unnecessary, dear lady.

With a wife
as beautiful as yourself,

any man would be proof
against the seven-year itch.
What?

You tired, sweetheart?

Absolutely whacked.

Must be all this sea air.

Yeah.

How about a nightcap?

Mmm, how about bed?

Oh, come on, darling,
just one.

No, honestly not.
You go.

Just take me
to my cabin.

I'm out on my feet.

- Are you quite sure?
- Certain.

Anyway, it's bad
for an old married couple

to be glued together
all the time.

♪ Treat him right

♪ Now you've listened
to my story ♪

♪ Here's the point
that I have made ♪

♪ Chicks were born
to give you fever ♪

♪ Be it Fahrenheit
or centigrade ♪

♪ They give you fever

♪ When you kiss them

♪ Fever if you live
and learn ♪

♪ Fever

♪ Till you sizzle

♪ Oh, what a lovely way
to burn ♪

♪ What a lovely way
to burn... ♪

What'll it be, sir?

Whiskey and soda, please.

You feeling better?

Better than what?

You remember, the--
this afternoon

in the-- in the loo.

The loo?

Is it your usual
pickup routine?

Of course I remember.

I have a perfect memory

when I feel like it.

Right.

What is this,
some kind of game?

Yeah.
Want to dance?

Uh, well,
I'm not much of a dancer.

That figures.

What's your name?

Nigel Dobson.
Hi.

Okay, Nigel, amuse me.

Say something funny.

Um, blimey.

Uh, well, you're French,
aren't you?

I can tell
from your accent.

I mean, your English
is very, very good,

but for some reason,
I can always tell a Frog.

Sorry.

Stupid thing to say.
Just slipped out.

Schoolboy expression.
Comes from working in the city.
I'm a Eurobond dealer

and we're always
calling people Frogs.

You're right, boring.

Um, but anyway, you call us--
you call us Roast Beef,
don't you?

Rosbif! I think that's
how you pronounce it, isn't it?

You're too funny for me,
Nigel.

I'm choking with laughter.

So long.

I leave you to your magnetic,
irresistible personality.

Romantic, isn't it?

Yeah, it is,
splendid.

You're Nigel, aren't you?

Yeah.

Sorry, do I know you?

Beware of her.

Right.

She's a walking mantrap.

Sorry, I don't know
what you're talking about.

Sure, you do.

I'm her husband.

Look what she did to me.

I'm sorry.

Let me ask you something,
Nigel.

You don't mind
if I call you Nigel, do you?

What do you think of her?

Well, if you mean
what I think you mean,

- she's very good-looking.
- Good-looking?

Yeah, sure,
all of that and more.

She gives you a hard-on,
doesn't she?

I beg your pardon?

Come on, Nigel,
don't be so British.

You'd like to fuck her.

Admit it,
it's no crime.

I've no idea
what you're driving at.

Cut the crap.

You're itching to know
some more about her, aren't you?

Well, aren't you?

Here.

Do me a favor,
would you, Nigel?

Help me over
the goddamn step here,
would you?

They don't design these boats
for my kind.

Yeah, sure.

Get inside there.

Grab the wheels--
the wheels.

Up!

Ah, I hate
these fucking boats.

It's good of you to take pity
on an obnoxious cripple.

I don't know you at all,
Nigel,

but somehow I have the feeling
that you're exactly the listener

that I've been looking for.

I hope you'll find
my story interesting.

I realize it's hard
to relate to something

that doesn't concern you.

But maybe it already does.

We have the place
to ourselves.

Mimi has her own cabin.

Yeah.

Eternity for me began
one fall day in Paris

aboard the 96 bus,
which shuttles

between Montparnasse
and Porte des Lilas.

Mademoiselle?

Madame?

Merci.

Merci.

Monsieur?

Votre billet,
s'il vous plait.

Je ne l'ai pas.

I'd been granted
a glimpse of heaven,

then dumped on the sidewalk
at rue d'Assas.

Oh, I still have no idea
why you're telling me all this.

I'd always wanted
to be a writer, Nigel.

My grandfather
made a fortune

in the surgical
appliance business,

set up a trust fund for me.

On his death,
I found myself in receipt

of sufficient allowance
to enable me to move to Paris.

Paris-- my dream city.

Hemingway, Miller,
Scott Fitzgerald--

I was determined
to follow in their footsteps,

maybe too determined
for my own good.

Maybe that's what killed
any originality

I ever possessed.

After eight years,
all I had to show

for my literary exertions
were three unpublished novels

and a stack of reject slips
this high.

But who cared?

Sidewalk cafes,
fluttering skirts,

fleeting affairs.

Paris was heaven

until that day on the bus.

It was no good.

I couldn't write,
couldn't sleep,

couldn't get her
out of my mind.

She was somewhere out there,

my sorceress
in white sneakers.

But where?

I haunted that 96 bus route.

It became an obsession.

Even the driver
began to recognize me.

Ca va?

Martini. Double.

Et vous?

Un Kir Royale,
s'il vous plait.

Excusez-moi.

- You're American?
- You remember me?

Of course I remember.
You were very kind.

Now it's your turn
to do something nice for me.

Have dinner with me sometime--
sometime soon, like tomorrow.

- You ever get a night off?
- Yes.

- When?
- Tomorrow.

Mimi.

Mimi.

She told me to meet her
at the Centre du Marais

at 10:30.

I was so wound up,

I'd gotten there
a whole half hour early.

My nerve ends
were jangling like bells.

Here's to old bus route 96.

Oh, la la la la!

Bonsoir!
Bonsoir, monsieur et madame.

Should we just
let him decide?

No, no, no,
surprendre-nous.

Très bien, tres bien,
très bien, monsieur.

I hope-- I hope-- I hope
I didn't make a mistake

by letting him order

because I don't speak Thai
so good

and we might have wound up
eating puppy-dog tails.

Do you mind if I do?

There was a freshness
and innocence about her,

an almost disconcerting blend

of sexual maturity
and childish naiveté

that touched
my world-weary heart

and effaced the age difference
between us.

My roommate is American.

Cindy. You saw her
at the dance class.

I met her when I studied
in New York.

How long were you there?

Till my money ran out.

- Meaning?
- Six months.

I love New York.
It's the best place
for a dancer.

- Not for a writer?
- No, not this one.

- I love Paris too much.
- Is that what you write about?

Paris?

Paris and people.

Would you let me
read something of yours?

Would you dance for me
sometime?

If you like.

- Promise?
- Promise.

No.

I looked all over
for you, you know?

Did you ever think
you'd see me again?

Yes.

Really?

Really.

Really?

Yeah.

You kept it?

My feet are cold.

Oh, you have a fireplace.

- Does it work?
- It sure does.

Why don't you
relax for a second?

I'll make coffee.
Would you like a hot chocolate?

Oh, yes, please,
chocolate.

- Could we make a fire?
- Why not?

You make the fire,
I'll make the coffee.

And the chocolate.

Mmm.

Nothing ever surpassed
the rapture

of that first awakening.

I might have been Adam
with the taste of apple

fresh in my mouth.

I was looking
at all the beauty in the world

embodied
in a single female form,

and I knew
with sudden blinding certainty

this was it.

We didn't leave the apartment
for three whole days
after that.

We were inseparable by day
and insatiable by night.

We just lived on love
and stale croissants.

She chucked her job.

I couldn't bear
to part with her.

"I'd been granted
a glimpse of heaven

and dumped on the sidewalk
of rue d'Assas.

The gates of paradise
had opened

only to slam in my face."

But they opened again, no?

They sure did, baby.

Pretty wide at that.

Go on, don't stop.

Well, that's all there is.

What a pity.

I could listen to you forever.

Bravo!

Oh!

I love you.

What?

You heard me!

You love me?

♪ Well, I guess
it would be nice ♪

♪ If I could
touch your body ♪

♪ I know not everybody

♪ Has got a body like you

♪ But I've got
to think twice ♪

♪ Before I give
my heart away ♪

♪ And I know
all the games you play ♪

♪ Because I play them too

♪ Oh, but I

♪ Need some time off

♪ From that emotion

♪ Time to pick my heart
up off the floor ♪

♪ Oh, and when that love
comes down ♪

♪ Without devotion

♪ Well, it takes
a strong man, baby ♪

♪ But I'm showing you
the door ♪

♪ 'Cause I gotta have faith

♪ I gotta have faith

♪ Because I gotta have
faith, faith, faith ♪

♪ I got to have faith,
faith, faith ♪

♪ Baby

♪ I know you're
asking me to stay ♪

♪ Say please, please, please,
don't go away ♪

♪ You say I'm giving you
the blues ♪

♪ Maybe

♪ You mean
every word you say ♪

♪ Can't help but think
of yesterday ♪

♪ And another who tied me down
to loverboy rules ♪

♪ Before this river

♪ Becomes an ocean

♪ Before you throw my heart
back on the floor ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I reconsider

♪ My foolish notion

♪ Well, I need someone
to hold me ♪

♪ But I'll wait
for something more ♪

♪ Yes,
I gotta have faith... ♪

Isn't it dangerous?

Not if you know
what you're doing.

Why don't you use
an electric?

Americans like
electric things.

Ha.
Not this American.

I know.

It makes you feel macho.

Yeah.

You're a real tiger.

You think you're Hemingway.

Hemingway had a beard.

Let me try.

No way, no way.
I value my hide.

- Please.
- No.

Please, please,
just one little try.

Now who can refuse you
anything?

Eh eh, like this.

No, nuh-uh. Yeah.

Not too much of an angle.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Ah.

Her pussy was a neat,
discreet little cleft.

But as soon as
the animal within was roused
by my caresses,

it would stir,

draw aside the silken curtain
covering its lair

and become
a carnivorous flower.

A baby's mouth
greedily sucking my finger.

I loved to tease her clitoris
with the tip of my tongue

and then abandon it

wet and glistening,

like a little duck
dabbling in a pool
of pink flesh.

Right.

Nigel, come on.
Don't look so shocked.

Eh.

Steady on, old boy.

I'm only going
into such detail

to show you
how completely enslaved I was,

body and soul,
by this creature

whose dangerous charms
have made such an impression
on you.

I-- why--
why do you keep saying that?

You mean I'm mistaken?
Oh, all right.

I'll let it go.
Leave me with my memories.

No, I mean--

if in some way it helps you
to get it off your chest
or something--

What a compassionate fellow
you are, Nigel.

Actually, I-- to tell the truth,
I should be going.

My wife will think
I've fallen overboard.

You know, you'd have made
a very good analyst.

Not many men would have
listened to so much
for so long.

Yeah.

Well, anyway,
thanks for the drink.

What I can't understand
is why he'd think you'd
be interested

in all these sordid details.

I haven't a clue.

He probably lets his hair down
every time he corners
a captive audience.

Poor chap.

Poor chap?
He's a verbal exhibitionist.

- Right.
- It's his wife
I feel sorry for.

Yeah.

Did I mention I met her
in the bar last night?

- No.
- No, I didn't, did I?

Was she feeling better?

Yeah, much better.
Much better.

She's not bad-looking,
actually.

Thank you.

They're coming.

What?

Your American friend
and his wife.

Nigel.

Oh.

Just as long as he doesn't
park himself on us.

After what
he told you last night?
He wouldn't dare,

- would he?
- Nigel, old chap.

Good to see you.

This must be
your lovely wife.

Hi there,
I'm Oscar.

Mimi you already know,
don't you?

- Hi.
- Hello.

- So do you, Nigel, right?
- Mm-hmm, yeah. Hello.

Look, I hate to break up
a twosome,

but would you mind
if I joined you?

We had an invitation
to the captain's table.

Trouble is,
I'm allergic to beards.

Are you allergic to cripples?

Oh!

Well, after an intro like that,
how could we refuse?

Fine, it's settled, then.

Off you go, baby.

Thanks.
Have fun.

Mmm. Mimi doesn't share
my aversion.

In fact, she's not too choosy
in general.

Can't be.
She couldn't have married me.

What a girl.

Knocking 'em dead
as usual.

Just wine for me, white.

Anything as long
as it's not retsina.

Yes, Mimi's very lovely.

But you-- I still don't know
your name, by the way.

Fiona.

Fiona. I hope you won't
think me forward,

but I find your own brand
of beauty more subtle.

It has that inimitably
British quality--

a kind of reticence that hints
at untapped potentiality.

French Chablis, sir.

Nigel's been tapping
my potentialities for years.
Haven't you, Nigel?

Well, Nigel?

Well, come on,
your lovely wife
has just implied

that she's lost
all her mystery for you.

True or false?

No, I mean, I think there's
probably a corner of everyone

that remains to be explored.

Halfhearted,
but better than nothing.

Well, Fiona,

He's right, though.
Everyone has secret nooks
and crannies.

Every relationship,
no matter how harmonious,

contains seeds of farce,
tragedy.

Mmm.

I do not like the look
of that sky much.

I hope the weather's
going to hold.

Jesus, don't tell me
you're taking refuge
in the weather.

You know what I hope?

I hope the ship goes down
and we're all marooned
on a desert island.

I'd wind up
the sole survivor.

That's charming.
And why do you say that?

Because no one would be
tempted to cannibalize
my shriveled carcass.

I hope he hasn't
been boring you.

No, not at all.

Your husband
has a great sense of humor.

Black humor,
but still, he's been keeping us
thoroughly entertained.

- See, baby?
- See what?

Our British friends
find me entertaining.

In small doses, perhaps.

But now we must
leave them in peace.

Ah, indeed.

Thanks for taking care
of him.

Not at all.

Ah, Fiona,

I've already imposed on you,
but may I beg a favor?

As I'm sure he told you,

Nigel and I had a chat
last night.

I found him
such stimulating company.

Could I borrow him again
this afternoon?

Just for an hour or so?

Well, he's quite grown up.
He doesn't have to have
mommy's permission.

Ta.

The seasons came and went.

Mimi's face still held
a thousand mysteries for me,

her body
a thousand sweet promises.

But lurking at the back
of my mind

was an unspoken fear
that we'd already scaled

the heights
of our relationship.

It would all be downhill
from now on.

And then something happened.

Something that would put things
on a totally different plane.

We were at Kitzbühel.

Skiing vacation.

I'd rented
a chalet there.

It was one of those nights,
warm and cozy inside,

great fat snowflakes
drifting down in the blackness

beyond the frosted panes,

no light
but the glow from the set,

Mimi on the floor wearing
a T-shirt and nothing else,

watching some old American soap
dubbed in German,

and me on the couch
watching her,

sprawled in a sort
of boozy stupor.

All at once,
she got up,

stalked over
to the set,

spread her legs,

and pissed on the screen
like she wanted to blot it out.

Time stood still
for an instant.

Then I rolled
off the couch.

I crawled over
like a lunatic.

I wormed my way
between her legs

and I turned over.

And right away,
I was engulfed with this warm,

golden cascade.

It spattered my cheeks,
it filled my nostrils,

it stung my eyes.

And then something
jolted my brain

with multi-megavolt
intensity.

There was this blinding flash
in the back of my eyeballs.

I experienced
the orgasm of a lifetime.

For God's sake, man.

It was like a white-hot blade
piercing me through and through.

This was my Nile,
my Ganges, my Jordan,

my fountain of youth,
my second baptism.

Look, I think I'm probably
as broad-minded as the next man,

but, I mean, honestly,
there are limits.

Stop twittering, Nigel.

I'm sharing a revelation
with you, damn it.

I'm trying to expand
your sexual horizons.

Oh, I see.
And what makes you think
they need expanding?

I'm sure your tumbles
with Fiona

are all perfectly adequate.

Very sanitary and hygienic
in their way.

You bloody well
leave us out of this.

I mean,
at least we've got some decency.

What do you think
you're doing,

sharing the details
of your perverted sex life
with a total stranger?

It's just downright obscene.

Have you ever felt
real overpowering passion?

Have you ever truly
idolized a woman?

Nothing can be obscene
in such a love.

Everything that occurs
between you becomes a sacrament.

Don't you see?

Come on, sit down.

Have another cup of tea.

It'll steady your nerves.

So, anyway,

that was our sexual Rubicon.

It opened up
all sorts of new possibilities.

I always had a suspicion

it might be
supremely pleasurable

to be humiliated
by a beautiful woman.

But it was only now
I realized

what this could entail.

Mimi.

We shut ourselves up
with our toys

for weeks on end,

never going out,
seeing no one but each other.

I guess it was asking
too much of any couple.

- Oscar?
- Just a minute.

Did you really
have all these women?

What women?

The ones you write about.

Does it matter?

It's a book,
for Christ's sake.

I know,
I'm just curious.

Do you like it?
That's what matters.

It's very sexy.

Forget about sex
for two seconds.

What do you think
of the quality of the writing?

I can't judge.

My English
isn't good enough.

"My English
isn't good enough."

Why read the fucking book
at all?

Because I love you.

Because I love
everything to do with you.

It's a pity
you're not in publishing.

I'd be at the top of
the best-seller list by now.

When will it
be published?

You tell me.

I'm working on it.

We were getting to be
like two goldfish in a bowl.

"Come on," I told her.

"We need a change of scene.

Let's each
round up a few friends
and hit the town."

♪ 'Cause you're
not welcome anymore ♪

♪ Weren't you the one

♪ Who tried to hurt me
with goodbye? ♪

♪ Did you think I'd crumble?

♪ Did you think I'd lay down
and die? ♪

- No.
- ♪ Oh, no, not I

♪ I will survive

♪ Oh, as long
as I know how to love ♪

♪ I know I'll stay alive

♪ I've got all my life
to live ♪

♪ I've got
all my love to give ♪

♪ And I'll survive

♪ I will survive

♪ Hey, hey

Totally!
It's true.

Ya think?

♪ All that I have is all
that you've given me ♪

♪ Did you never worry

♪ That I'd come
to depend on you? ♪

♪ I gave you all the love
I had in me ♪

♪ Now I find you've lied

♪ And I can't believe
it's true ♪

♪ Wrapped in her arms

♪ I see you
across the street ♪

♪ I see you across
the street ♪

♪ And I can't help
but wonder ♪

♪ If she knows
what's going on ♪

♪ Oh, you talk of love

♪ But you don't know
how it feels ♪

♪ When you realize

♪ That you're
not the only one... ♪

- 'Night.
- What's the matter?

♪ Oh, you'd better stop...

I'd always found infidelity

the most titillating aspect
of any relationship.

That scene
should have turned me on.

So why didn't it?

Why did I feel so hurt?

Pas de cigarette,
s'il vous plait.

Hi.

Oscar?

Why did you do it?

Why don't you
say something?

What do you want me to say?

Why did you
walk out on me like that?

You don't know?

You started it,

flirting with my old roommate.

You were all over her.

Bullshit. We were
having a couple laughs.

And we were just
having a dance.

Some dance.

Decent of you
not to fuck him on the floor.

Oh!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I did it
because I was jealous.

Please, please,
forgive me.

You're my tiger.

I don't want
anyone but you!

Not ever!

I love you.

I love you.

I loved her too.

But our credit
was running out.

We were headed
for sexual bankruptcy.

Mmm, I smell pig.

- Don't laugh.
- Don't talk.

Come, piggy!

Where is he?

Come, piggy wiggy.

Where are you?

Get off! Get off!

How dare you try
to fuck me, you filthy beast?

Take that.

- Harder.
- Shut up.

- Harder.
- Shut up!

Aw, you spoiled it.

Pigs don't talk.

How can I believe
in a pig that talks?

You know something?

I don't believe
in it either.

Not anymore.

That was it.

The spell was broken at last.

Ah, jolly good thing too,
if you ask me.

Hate to think
what you'd be up to next.

Don't worry, Nigel.
There's plenty more to tell.

What makes you think
I want to hear it?

I still don't know
what gives you the idea

that I enjoy being used
as a rubbish dump

for your unsavory
reminiscences.

Don't you?

Don't you really, Nigel?

He's still here?

Yeah, I'm afraid I am,
yes.

But I'm just off now.

You know, Nigel has been
extremely patient with me.

We don't see eye to eye
on everything,

but we share
at least one interest in common.

You, baby.

I suppose that's why he keeps
coming back for more.

Anyway, as I say,
I'm just off.

So thanks very much
for the tea.

Toodle-oo.

Bye.

- Oh! Sorry.
- You were gone long enough.

I am really sorry, darling.

I was going
to go to dinner without you.

It's just incredibly hard
to get away.

You saw what he's like.

- She there too?
- Who?

Wrong answer, Nigel.
Yes or no would have been fine.

But "who"?
You know perfectly well
who I mean.

Oh, right, Mimi.

Yeah, she rolled up
just as I was leaving.

Odd creature.

So you said--
odd, but not bad-looking.

Most men
would find her stunning.

Most women too,
for that matter.

Well, look,
I am not most men.

I'm your husband, right?

There we go.

Here they are,
all locked up.

- Oh, hello.
- I say, is this
your little girl?

It is indeed.
Amrita, say hello
to the lady and gentleman.

- Hello.
- Hello, Amrita.

That's a very pretty name.
It's almost as pretty
as you are.

Quite enchanting.
Where have you been hiding her?

I have a nanny
that looks after her.

- And your wife?
- I'm a widower, dear lady.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- That's all right.

Anyway, it's lovely
to have a child on board.

Yeah, it makes a change
from all the wrinklies.

And you?
Have you provided
for your posterity?

Sorry?

I mean, you have a wife
that loves children so much.

I was just wondering
if you yourself have a family.

Uh, no, no,
we haven't, actually, no.

No, Nigel thinks the world
is overpopulated enough as it is

without us adding
to the problem.

Well, an admirable sentiment
in India, perhaps,

but surely the green fields
of England can afford

to have a few more mouths
to feed.

What?
Oh, I say, look at that. Look.

Oh, look, Amrita, look.
See?

- Isn't that beautiful?
- You cold, darling?

Gosh, I should have
brought my coat.

Oh, please,
allow me.

- Oh, that's very kind.
- Here we are.

Thank you,
thank you.

I'll just go and--
I'll fetch you something
from the cabin.

- See you in a sec.
- Okay.

Believe me, dear lady,

children are a better form
of marital therapy

than any trip to India.

You mustn't believe
all he says.

He's a sick man.

He imagines things.

Please, don't think
badly of me.

I mean, what are you
playing at this time?

It matters to me
what you think.

Does it?

Does it really?

I have to talk with you,
Nigel.

I have to explain.

All right.

Go ahead.

No, not here.

My cabin.
We won't be disturbed there.

Please.

Um, I can't-- I'm afraid--
afraid I can't, not now.

No, later.

5:00, cabin DS1.

Yes?

A newspaper!

- Brought your coat.
- Ah. Thanks, Mr. Singh.

Very well.

What a lovely story.

Say thank you, Amrita.

So if your daddy will let me,

I'll come tell you
some other stories sometime.
Would you like that?

Two hearts.

Pass.

Four hearts.

Ich pass.

No bid.

Pass.

Uh, you won't believe this,
but I've got to go and see
that chap again.

I thought you'd had enough
of all that.

I know, it's just he won't
take no for an answer.

Uh, I'm so sorry,

but I've simply got to go.

I wonder, would you like
to take my place?

- I should be delighted.
- Great.

Bridge just keeps on going.

I once played 48 hours
nonstop.

You leave your partner
in safe hands.

Excellent.
I do apologize.

Please excuse me.

Entschuldigung and all that.

Close the door.

April fool!

You pathetic, sick--

Do you want her?

Yes or no.

I don't want anything more
to do with either of you, ever.

Let go.
Let me go or I'll--

"Let me go
or I'll call my mommy!"

Go on, get out.

Crawl back
to your matrimonial tomb.

You know what?
I pity you.

I genuinely pity you both

if this is the way
you have to get your kicks.

I get no kicks out of this,
believe me.

Yes, and what was this--
what was this little farce,
then?

How else
could we get you here?

And why is that suddenly
of such incredible importance?

Mimi wants you to hear
the rest of our story.

She thinks it'll help
her chances with you.

What are you, her pimp?

I don't begrudge Mimi
the right to look elsewhere

for what I can
no longer supply.

I merely supervise her affairs

instead of submitting
to them.

You can have her, Nigel,

with my blessings,
on one condition.

You hear me out.

You make me sick.

Why are you
still standing here?

Come on, Nigel.

It was a joke.

Have a sense of humor,
for Christ's sake.

Come on, sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.

Use my wheelchair.

The brake! The brake!

Have a heart, Nigel.

Don't be too rough on a man
demolished

by a love
that was too strong.

Yes, sir.

We should have stopped
right there.

Lovers should quit
when their passion
is at its peak,

not wait
until its inevitable decline.

As it was, my desire for her
had begun to wane.

There she would lie,
gorgeous, voluptuous,

and it didn't
do a thing for me.

I came to resent
her failure to excite me

the way she used to.

We were developing
a narcotic dependence

on television,

the marital aid
that enables a couple

to endure each other
without having to talk.

A New York editress
was overnighting in Paris

on her way
to the Frankfurt Book Fair

and I wanted
to show her a good time.

It was a PR job.

And I was apprehensive
of her reaction to Mimi,

who tended to upstage
every other woman in sight.

You wearing that?

Mmm.

- That dress?
- What about it?

Couldn't you wear
something else?

What's wrong with it?

Nothing.

What do you mean, nothing?

You think it makes me
look fat, eh?

You think it makes
my ass look fat.

Did I say that?

You think I've got
a fat ass.

You said that.
I didn't.

So you do think
I've got a fat ass.

Jesus, Mimi,
give me a break.

You wouldn't have said that
once upon a time.

You liked my ass.

I still like your ass.
I'm crazy about your ass.

You don't love me anymore.

For Christ's sake,
wear what you fucking want,
Mimi.

Wear a fucking bathrobe
for all I care.

The trouble is, Oscar,
publishing isn't what
it used to be.

It's the bottom line
that counts now.

Proven track records,
advance sales.

No one's going
to invest in a newcomer
who hasn't proven himself.

So an unknown
can't get published
unless he's known?

Sounds like
a catch-22 to me.

Well, you could call it that.

And your Parisian settings
don't help any.

When are you going
to come back home?

The United States,
where it's at?

No, you wouldn't do that.

Oscar's a fixture here.
He's like the Eiffel Tower.

He's right, Beverly.
I love it here.

- I feel at home.
- Good for you.

Come on, get a life.

Paris is out-- vieux jeu.
It's a literary mausoleum.

Henry Miller used it up
50 years ago.

God, I don't think
France has been the same
since they gave up absinthe.

Oh!

- Ah, sorry, I'm fine.
- Hey!

- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- Let me clean it up.

Thank you.
I'm fine, I'm fine.

You know what?
I should make you my agent.

That'd solve all my problems.

"Paris is out.
Vieux jeu."

You really did me
some good tonight.

Like I don't have enough trouble
getting published.

I couldn't bear to see you
crawl up her ass like that.

I'll crawl up the ass
of anyone I fucking well
feel like.

Yours isn't the only one
in town.

Is that how you feel?

That's exactly how I feel.

In that case,
I'd better go.

Okay, you do that.

I'm going now.

Uh-huh.

- Are you sad I'm going?
- Uh-huh.

You're not sad.

I am sad.
But it's better this way.

My keys.

Thanks.

I love you. I love you so much.

Please don't make me go.

Please.

Stop crying.

Go make some coffee
or something, huh?

I came to dread bedtime.

I would feel
this overpowering desire
to sleep.

Gee.

I'm bushed.

I'd feel sorry for her.

Good night.

Lying there with her belly
crying famine,

her organs
in turmoil.

Kiss me good night.

Not like that.
Hold me.

I would crush my lips
against hers

like you mash out
a butt in an ashtray.

But that was only a prelude

to the most unoriginal act
known to man,

the process referred to
as copulation.

I felt like a rat
in a trap.

Out there,
people were having fun,

dancing, making love.

Paris was throbbing
to its own frenetic rhythms.

They pounded away in my head,
driving me crazy.

I craved variety.
I hungered for noise
and excitement.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah-- oh, no!

No! Oh! Oh, no!

Oh! Holy shit!

Do you have to
drink it that way?

Why can't you
use a glass?

What's the difference?
It tastes the same.

It doesn't look the same.

Oh, la la.

I didn't know
you were so delicate.

- What do you mean, delicate?
- I mean delicate.

I know what you mean,
but it's just not the right word
in English.

If you don't know the right word
in English, say it in French.

I don't say it in French
because your French
isn't good enough.

It's better
than your English.

After all these years
in Paris?

So it should be.

Maybe your English
isn't that good either.

Maybe that's why no one
wants to publish your books.

Now you're a literary critic?

That's great
coming from a waitress.

I'm not a waitress.
I'm a dancer.

Dancer, hell.

You'd still be begging for tips
if I hadn't picked you up

out of
that fucking restaurant.

You little bitch!

Okay, show's over.
You can get up now.

Mimi.

Jesus, don't do this
to me.

Baby?
Come on, say something.

Please.

God Almighty.

Bonjour.

Uh... no.

No, no.

Allô? All?

J'ai mal.

Where?

Où tu as mal?

My head.

Is it bad?

How bad is it?

Tiger.

Should I call a doctor?

Just hold me.

Baby, forgive me, please.

I love you.

Wow, it's great.

Thank you.
Oh, thank you!

I'm so happy.

What a lovely evening.

I wish it could last forever.

Forever's a long time, baby.

I can't think in those terms.
I never could.

When something is good,
don't you want it
to last forever?

Sure, but good things
never do.

Not even us?

Are we so good?

Aren't we?

Well, now that you come
to mention it, no.

Not anymore.

Come on, Mimi,

let's stop
kidding ourselves.

I don't understand.

Look, it was sweet
while it lasted.

Boy, it was sweet.

But it's going sour,
isn't it?

- Well, isn't it?

You know, I've been hoping
that you'd take the initiative.

But, no, you seem quite happy
to let things keep on
dragging on this way.

Well, I'm not.
I'm degrading myself

by degrading you.

We're degrading each other,
for God's sake.

Let's not spoil
a beautiful memory.

Let's quit while we still
have a few shreds
of dignity left.

But I love you.

And I want to--
I want to marry you.

I want to give you babies.

I want to give you
the rest of my life.

I don't want
the rest of your life.
I want my own.

Can't you get it
through your head?

What did I do wrong?

Did I ever harm you?

Oscar, tell me.

Even a criminal
is told his crime.

What did I do?

You didn't do anything.

You exist, that's all.

I understand.

Did I miss her?

Sure, I did.

But I also experienced
an incredible sense of freedom.

The future
seemed bright with promise,

peopled with
a thousand alluring images,

most of them female.

Shit!

Oui?

It's me. Oscar?

I'm here.

I'm scared.

What?

I can't live without you.

I'm afraid you're
just going to have to.

I won't.

Look, we've been
through all this before,
haven't we?

So why don't we
give it a rest?

Look up some friends,
have some fun.

We just went
over the top, that's all.

In a few days,
you'll be grateful to me
for having made the first move.

Was she playacting?

I couldn't be sure.

I called her old roommate.

No dice.

I spent the rest
of the day wondering,

half the night drinking.

I was waiting for you.

- I can see that.
I wonder why.
- You know why.

I know I'm wrecked
and I'm gonna crash.

No, wait!

Let go of me.

No, I want
to tell you something.

There's nothing more
to be said, Mimi.

- Please!
- For Christ's sake.

It's not going to make it
any easier on us.

You-- you've got
to listen to me, please.

- Please listen to me.
- Oh, for God's sake.

Please!

All right.

You better come in.

You want one?

All right.

What's so important?

It's true what I said.

I can't live without you.

Oh, if that's all
you came to tell me--

- Please don't throw me out!
- It's too late.

Give me one last chance.

I'm ready to live with you
on any terms, any at all.

I can't bear anything else
because when I'm with you
sometimes--

You can shout at me.

You can leave me.
You can have other women.

I don't care
what you do,

but please...

don't send me away.

Even if
you don't love me anymore,

keep me with you
out of pity.

There's nothing
I wouldn't do to stay with you.

Please, please!

Please!

I beg you!

Please!

Please, I beg you!

Everyone has a sadistic streak.

And nothing brings it out
better than the knowledge

you've got someone
at your mercy.

If she really fancied
living in a living hell,

I'd make it so hot,

even she would want out.

It feels so good.

Yeah, it does, Cindy.

Cindy?

I mean Mimi.

Uh, Mimi.

Sure, I'm on.

Yeah, why not?

Round up a couple of chicks.
We'll make a night of it.

Mm-hmm. Who?

Ah, you bet.

It's the best piece of ass
this side of the river.

All right.
Yeah, I'll see you there.

Yeah?

Dinner's ready.

I'm eating out.

Tonight?

What's so special
about tonight?

- It's your holiday.
- What holiday?

Thanksgiving.

I wanted to surprise you.

All right.
Let's see what you got.

Christ, what is that?

Turkey.

I cooked it
for you special.

Cremated it, you mean.

That's it.
I'm off.

Won't you even
try a little?

You're joking.

I have too much respect
for my dentist.

Listen, in the future,
forget about cooking.

Stick to what you can do.
You know, which reminds me,

what happened
to your dance classes?

- Dancing has to come
from the heart.
- So?

My heart is broken.

♪ Sweet dreams
are made of this ♪

♪ Who am I to disagree?

I was getting to her at last.

I'd achieved
the impossible.

She was losing her looks
and her figure,

wasting away, breaking out
in nervous rashes,

developing spots.

♪ Some of them want
to get used by you ♪

♪ Some of them
want to abuse you... ♪

We were just admiring
your new hairstyle.

Really?

Yeah. Susan here
thinks it suits you.
I do too.

I can't put my finger on it,
but it reminds me of something.

Oh, I know.
Rita.

Rita?

You know, Rita.

Rita--
the neighbor's dog.

Just a minute, wait.

What's that?
It looks like a zit.

It is.

And your nose
is shiny too.

Hon,
I'm not a makeup artist,

but I could
do better than that.

Hey!

I didn't know we were
having a Halloween party.

She was so easy to hurt.

It was getting to be
like shooting fish in a barrel.

Not now, for Christ's sake!

Can't you see
that I'm trying to work?

Anyway, have I ever asked you
to clean the house for me?

No.

So stop
playing the martyr.

And take that thing
off your head.

It makes you look
even uglier than usual.

You're really
letting yourself go.

You know, I'm ashamed
to be seen going around
with you these days.

What is it now?

I-- I expect--

Huh?

What do you expect?

A baby.

What did you say?

I'm going to have a baby.

Oh, my God.

How long have you known?

Only since yesterday.

Two months,
the doctor says.

What are you going
to do about it?

Do about it?

Look at me.

Do I look like a daddy?

Can you see us
bringing up a child

in this place?

I'm pushing 40.
I haven't even sold
a single book yet.

The world
doesn't know I exist.

Not a day goes by
that I don't think
it might be better

just to kill myself
and be done with it.

Would it be fair
to saddle a child
with a father like this?

Be honest.

They told me
there were complications,

but I wasn't prepared
to see her

looking like a marble figure
on a tomb.

For a moment,

I-- I almost weakened.

You came.

Why wouldn't I?

I brought you flowers.

You're here.
Nothing else matters.

I've been thinking.

When you're on your feet,

we'll go away together.

Just the two of us.

Away?

Yeah.

Far, far away.

Shit. No room.

You look pale, baby.

Feeling all right?

Excuse me.

Oh, pardon.
Je me excuse.

Look, there it is.

That's what you need, baby.

I can just see you
luxuriating under
one of them palms

with a tall glass
in your hand.

Oh, hell, I can't sit
through the whole trip
this way.

I'm gonna get them
to stow it somewhere.

I'll be right back.

Your baggage
has already been loaded

and it can't travel
without you.

No.

This is all I got.

May I see your ticket,
please?

I shall have to check
with the captain.

I could picture her
looking out the window

at that beautiful moon,

the same one I could see,

but I bet
it didn't look the same to her.

It depends
on your state of mind,

the way things grab you.

To her,
it must have been poison.

To me, sweet as a peach.

I don't know about you.

Sometimes I think
you make things up
as you go along.

I wish you were right,
Nigel.

My imagination
isn't half that fertile.

I might have made it
into print after all.

I mean, if even half
that story were true,

you'd be too bloody ashamed
to tell it.

Boy.

You still don't know me
at all.

You're still angry
with me?

I don't know.
I'm confused.

I wanted you to hear it.

Well, my God, I'd sooner
have heard it from you.

I leave the words to him.

They're all he has left.

When-- when can we
be alone together?

I mean, really alone?

First hear the rest
of the story.

Then we'll see.

Fiona?

Ooh!

Here you are.
I wondered where you were.

Ah, you missed dinner.

I completely lost track of time.
I'm really sorry.

Never mind. Dado's been
keeping me company.

Good.
How did the bridge go?

It was a disaster.

Really?

We had very,
very bad luck.

Never had such terrible hands
in my entire life.

Never mind, Dado--
unlucky at cards,
lucky in love.

May I offer you
a drink?

No, thanks very much.
I think some other time.

Are you coming, darling?

Goodbye.

Bye.

Smarmy bugger.

I bet he'd like
to climb inside your pants.

You can talk.

I-- what do you mean?

God, Nigel,
I'm not a complete fool.

These sessions
with that American freak.

I know what the attraction is.
It isn't his big blue eyes.

I'm sorry,
I don't follow.

It's his wife you're after.
You've got the hots for her,
haven't you?

What?

I feel sorry for the girl,
that's all.

Yeah.

So sorry
that your tongue's hanging out.

Just watch it, Nigel.

Anything you can do,
I can do better.

Oh, God.

Darling, I cannot
understand why you won't
take the Dramamine.

I told you, they knock me out.

Surely-- surely enough,
it's better to sleep
than suffer.

- Come on.
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

to our gala
fancy-dress ball tonight.

See the New Year in
and dance till dawn

to the music
of Danny Garcia and his Boys.

For those without costumes,

stewards can supply
funny hats--

Funny hats,
for God's sake.

Here.

Here, take another.

You like me taking pills,
don't you, Nigel?

If it's not one kind,
it's another.

I don't know why I bother.

Sorry, darling.
What're you talking about?

The pill, Nigel.
The pill.

We don't do it often enough
nowadays to make it worthwhile.

Oh, really.
Come on, please.

What are we doing here?

What are we looking for
that we can't find at home?

Seven years
and look where it got us.

I realize something now--
we shouldn't go to India at all.

We should be spending
the whole six months in bed.

Sorry, darling,
I'm not with you.

Too right you're not.
You're somewhere bloody else,

and I know where.
It's like a drug.

Actually, that's all
getting very boring.

If you're so obsessed
with your dirty-minded
little cripple

and his sexy wife,
why don't you just go back
for another helping

- and leave me in peace?
- Fine!

If that's how you feel,
I damn well will.

In time, Mimi became
a distant memory,

a closed chapter.

My sense of freedom
returned with a vengeance.

I hadn't dumped Mimi
for one particular woman.

I'd swapped her
for all of womankind.

And I resolved
to make up for lost time.

No more
emotional entanglements.

I just wallowed
in female flesh

like a pig in clover,

ricocheted from bed to bed,

grabbed whatever was going,
hurried on.

Every day held the promise

of some new
short-lived sexual experience,

the shorter the better.

Every time I looked
into one woman's eyes,

I could see
the reflection of the next.

After two years
of screwing around,

I gave up
all pretense of writing

and turned night into day.

Like Dracula,
I rose at dusk

and retired to my pad
at dawn.

No, mais non.

The night is young.

"The night is young."

Eh eh!

No!

Arrêt!

Ah!

I was luckier than I deserved.

Just a concussion
and a fractured femur

that kept me lying there
like a mummy for weeks.

None of my conquests
bothered to check

if I was still breathing.

Hi.

Well, I'll be damned.

Jesus.

So you didn't kill yourself?

What for?
I was dead already.

Well, you're looking great
anyway.

I'm feeling great.
Here.

I brought you these.

Thanks.

You may as well sit down
while you're here.

Where you been
all this time?

You bought the tickets.
You should know.

Martinique?
You stayed on?

What have you been doing
with yourself?

Working at a hotel.

Waiting tables?

Yes.

Till the manager
found out I could dance,

and then he put me
in a floor show.

Kind of him.

Oh, yes,
he was very kind.

He almost restored
my faith in human nature.

Only almost?

He did
until I remembered you.

Touché.

What are you doing
back here?

Just visiting.
I heard about your misfortune,

thought I'd see
if you needed anything.

You know what I really need,
baby?

I need you
to stay out of my life.

You haven't lost
your charm, Oscar.

I should have known.

Well, goodbye.

Remember the carousel?

Sure, I remember the carousel.

I remember it
like a trip to the dentist.

Easy, easy!

Ah!

Ah, ah, ah!

Asshole.
Did you think I'd forgotten?

She came to see me
when I got out of
intensive care.

She said, "There's bad news
and there's good news.

You're paralyzed
from the waist down,
permanently."

"Okay," I said,
"let's have the good news."

"That was the good news,"
she said.

"The bad news
is that from now on,

I'm taking care of you."

We were a couple
once more.

She moved back
into my place

and looked after me
with a strange kind of
devotion to duty.

She was my cook,
my housekeeper, my jailer,

and my nurse.

Oh, couldn't you--

I mean,
it makes my leg shake

if you always shoot me
in the same spot.

You see?

It makes the leg shake.

Couldn't you find
some other place?

Oh, you want me
to have another go?

- No, not now, the next time--
- No, I can try it--

Now look
what you made me do, silly.

My God, you're not going
to use it again?

None left.

I'll get some more tomorrow.

It crossed my mind

that she might
still love me

in spite of everything.

After all, it's no fun
hurting someone

who means nothing
to you.

Hey, tiger.

Come and get it.

Aren't you having any?

I'm going out.

Nothing in it?

Like what?

I don't know,
maybe tomatoes, mushrooms?

Oh, would you like
some mushrooms?

- Well, yeah,
that would be nice.

You want some,
go pick some.

Allô?

Yes, I do.

Oh, no,
he's not available.

Who's calling, please?

No, this is his nurse
speaking.

What the--
hey, who says I'm not available?

Ah, you heard.

Yeah, very sad.

Who is it?

No, quite impossible,
I'm afraid.

He's completely
incapacitated.

I will.
You're welcome.

- Goodbye.
- Who was it?

"Paris is out.
Vieux jeu."

Beverly, you mean?
What did she want?

What did she want,
for God's sake?

How would I know?

Well, you might
have let me speak to her.

I said, you might
have let me speak to her.

I heard you.

Jesus, Mimi,
I never get to see
or speak to a soul these days.

It's like I'm in solitary.

Is it?

Look,

I know I deserve
all I get.

I treated you
like a monster.

- I am a monster.
- Tiger!

You don't have the right
to criticize yourself.

That's my privilege.

- I know.
- I earned it.

But I promise,
I will never hurt you again.

You hurt me?

Very funny.

And don't play
with your zizi while I'm gone.

There is no point.

Oh, thank God you're home.

- You missed me?
- What do you think?

As much as you missed me
after you dumped me?

Oh, no,
not that again.

Please, let's not
have a scene.

Why not?
I love scenes.

I've developed
a taste for them.

In fact,
I can't do without them.

What is that?

What do you think it is?

What do you expect
if you go out and leave me
alone all night?

I wet myself, of course.

Oh, poor tiger.

I'd better change
your diapers.

God, you stink.

Why don't you
just finish me off?

Why don't you O.D. me
or push me down the stairs
or something?

Oh, I almost forgot.

It's your birthday,
isn't it?

Is it?

I didn't remember.

♪ Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you, Oscar,
happy birthday to you. ♪

Although she kept me
starved of human contact,

she enjoyed taking me out

because she knew
how much it hurt

to be reminded
of the simple little pleasures

that were denied me
forevermore.

Antoine!

Funny, you might
have been good with kids.

Who knows?

You never will,
that's for sure.

It wasn't that I just
didn't want that child we made.

I-- I didn't think
I was worthy of it.

You could still have some.

Not sure of that.
I'm a safe fuck these days.

What do you mean?

That abortion
you so kindly paid for.

It left me
with an infection.

I was quite ill
in Martinique.

Almost died,
as a matter of fact.

You never told me.

Well, I'm telling you now.

Ah, Christ,
what a shit I was.

I despise myself.
I hate myself.

I hate myself worse
than you could ever hate me.

Don't kid yourself, Oscar.

No one could hate you
more than I do.

Why do you stay with me?

You really don't know?

Because you're precious
to me.

More precious
than ever before.

Here.

So there it was.

We needed each other,
she and I.

It's getting awfully cold.

Mimi, the water
is getting cold.

Ah, merde.

It's run out again.

- I must speak
to the concierge about it.

Don't go away.

Allô? Oui.
Oui, et toi?

Mimi?

Mimi?

Mm-hmm.

- Hey, that was great.
- Thank you.

You didn't know
I could cook, did you?

Thought I could
only shake a leg, huh?

You shake a leg
real good.

- Better than I cook?
- Sure.

Well, I mean, um-- no.
Well, like you--

you cook real good,
but you could dance
even better.

You just
don't work at it.

What's the point?
I could never dance
as good as you.

- Sure, you could.
- Oh, come on now.

You're special.
Isn't he special, tiger?

Absolutely.

You see?
He loves to watch you dance.

He thinks you're gorgeous.
Right, tiger?

Right.

How about that?
Look at that.

Get a load of that.
Come on.

Hey, Mims,
you're crazy.

Come on.

Isn't that something?

And he's not gay either.
That's very rare.

Show him your extension.

Come on!

How about that, tiger?

You should try it sometime.

Come on, Basil,
dance a little for Oscar.

I don't know.
I ate too much.

No, come on.

The poor baby gets so little fun
out of life these days.

No entertainment at all!

Well?

Come on, don't stop!

Dance! Dance!

I'd grown accustomed to being
only half a man.

But that night,

I really hit rock bottom.

It was a kind
of catharsis, I guess.

We both knew
we'd never rediscover

the same extremes
of passion and cruelty

with another living soul.

Monsieur Oscar Benton...

Mademoiselle
Micheline Bouvier?

Oui.

Mademoiselle
Micheline Bouvier...

Monsieur Oscar Benton?

Oui.

We were like the survivors
of a catastrophe

so terrible
it formed a bond between us

shared by no one else
in the world.

So the relationship
had come full circle.

We'd reached a plateau.

The dust has settled
since then,

but I live
in constant dread.

I'm forever afraid of losing
what's left of her heart

to some lucky bastard.

It feels strange
to be confessing this

to someone who's hoping
he'll be the one.

Now don't deny it.

There's only room in this cabin
for one hypocrite.

Well, if you're not
going to stay and have
another drink with me,

you might as well go.

There's no more to tell.

I think I understand you
better now.

And her?

Yeah, and her.

Shit.

Look...

Let's be adult about this,
shall we?

Yeah, adult-- that's the word.

"Anything I can do,
you can do better."

Feel free.

I won't object
if you have a little fling

with that Italian,
for example.

Uh, Fiona?

♪ And start heading
for the door ♪

♪ There's a very
strange vibration ♪

♪ Piercing me
right to the core ♪

♪ It says,
"Turn around, you fool ♪

♪ You know you love him
more and more" ♪

♪ Tell me why

♪ Is it so?

♪ Don't wanna let you go

♪ Hey,
I never can say goodbye, boy ♪

♪ Ooh, no, no

♪ I never can say goodbye

♪ No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, tell it, tell it ♪

♪ Hey,
I never can say goodbye, boy ♪

♪ Oooh, baby

♪ I never can say goodbye

♪ No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, tell it, tell it ♪

♪ I never can say goodbye

♪ No, no

♪ I never can say goodbye

♪ Never can say goodbye

♪ I keep thinking
that our problems ♪

♪ Soon are all gonna
work out... ♪

- Taking the plunge at last?
- Yep.

♪ There's that anguish,
there's that doubt ♪

♪ It's that same
old dizzy hang-up ♪

♪ I can't get by
without you ♪

♪ Tell me why

♪ Is it so?

♪ I don't wanna
let you go ♪

♪ No, I never can
say goodbye, boy ♪

♪ Ooh, no, no

♪ I never can say goodbye

♪ No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, tell it, tell it ♪

♪ Hey,
I never can say goodbye, boy ♪

♪ Oooh, baby...

I think I--
I think I need a drink.

♪ I never can say goodbye...

I said I think
I need a drink.

Can I get you one?

♪ Never can say goodbye...

Can I have a whiskey, please?
No ice.

Hey!
That was some stunt!

Pretty good
for a guy with two left feet.

Well, I don't pretend
to be a dancer.

Just kidding, Nigel.

I'm not so hot myself.

♪ My cherie amour...

Will you look
at that Latin loverboy go?

♪ My cherie amour...

Watch out,
he'll snap her up.

Almost time.

Where is that English rose
of yours?

She'll miss all the fun
if she doesn't hurry up.

Fiona? She's really
not much of a sailor.

She's flat out
on her bunk.

Now that is a disappointment.

Yeah, yeah.
Dosed herself on Dramamine.

Pity.

Mimi and I were hoping
to crack a bottle of champagne
with you later on.

The two of you.

A little farewell get-together
with our special friends.

Right, folks,
this is it.

If you've got something
you want to do this year,
you'd better hurry up.

We've got only
about 10 seconds left.

- Nine...
- Eight,

seven, six,

five, four, three,

two, one!

♪ Should auld acquaintance

♪ Be forgot

♪ And never
brought to mind? ♪

Well, baby?

♪ Should auld acquaintance

♪ Be forgot...

Happy days, Oscar.

Sure. Happy days.

Your good health.

You notice that I do not say
"happy New Year."

To those whose gaze
is focused on eternity,

one year
is the same as the next.

You don't say?

In that case, cheers.

I would like to send
a bottle of champagne

over to room A29,

on my tab,
Oscar Benton. Eh?

All right, boys and girls,
that'll do.

Come on, stop that.

Is this any way
to start a new year?

Please, let's have
some peace.

Shalom! Shalom!

All right, all right,
that'll do, boys and girls.

♪ I've been alone with you
inside my mind ♪

♪ And in my dreams

♪ I've kissed your lips

♪ A thousand times

♪ I sometimes see you

♪ Pass outside my door

♪ Hello

♪ Is it me
you're looking for? ♪

♪ I can see it in your eyes

♪ I can see it
in your smile... ♪

No.

Why?

- I thought--
- You thought what?

But you-- you said--

I mean, I know
how your story ends now.

No, you don't.
Not yet.

I think--

I think I've fallen
in love with you.

Come on,
I'm just a fantasy,

an amusement
on a boring voyage.

What? You mean
it's still just a game?

Did I ever say it wasn't?

But--

I'm truly and sincerely
in love with you.

That's why
you will never have me.

You're hurting terribly.

The way you're hurting
your wife?

She doesn't know about us.
She'll--

She's looking right at us.

♪ 'Cause I wonder
where you are ♪

♪ And I wonder
what you do... ♪

Having a good time?

Darling,
this is wonderful.

- Yes, isn't it?
- How are you feeling?

Good as new,
thanks to your ministrations.

There.

Now you can make
your New Year's resolutions.

Darling, do you think it's safe
to drink on an empty stomach?

Who wants to be safe?

No?

Living dangerous tonight.

That's the spirit, Fiona.

I knew that your presence
would add a little spice

to the night's proceedings.

That was a very kind thought
of yours.

I've never seen
my husband in action
with another woman before.

Oscar was sweet enough
to have me woken

with a bottle
of champagne.

You call that action?

I don't think
he was getting anywhere
with her.

♪ Tell her
I'll be waiting... ♪

It's a shame.

♪ And there's no escape

♪ To need a woman

♪ You've got to know

♪ How the strong get weak

♪ And the rich get poor

♪ Slave to love

♪ Oh

♪ Slave to love

♪ You're running with me

♪ Don't touch the ground

♪ We're
the restless hearted ♪

♪ Not the chained and bound

♪ The sky is burning

♪ A sea of flame

♪ Though your world
is changing ♪

♪ I will be the same

♪ Slave to love

♪ Oh

♪ Slave to love

♪ Slave to love

♪ Na na na na

♪ Slave to love

♪ And I can't escape

♪ I'm a slave to love...

Maybe I made a mistake
about you, Nigel.

Maybe your wife
would have been a better bet.

♪ Can you help me?

♪ The storm is breaking...

Come on, stop sulking, man.

You ought to be glad
they're getting it on so well.

Come on.

Put a funny hat on.
It'll make you feel better.

Throw some streamers at 'em.
Come on.

Thattaboy!

It's the Titanic
all over again!

♪ Nearer my God to thee!

♪ Nearer to thee!

I know how you feel,
Nigel.

I've been a loser
all my life.

Join the club.

Don't touch me!
If you weren't a cripple,
I'd knock your fucking head off.

Go ahead if it'll help.

I deserve your hatred.
I'm abominable.

I'm pathetic.

♪ Tell her
I'll be waiting ♪

♪ In the usual place...

No, not that way, Nigel!

Nigel, you'd better hurry!
There'll be nothing left
for you!

Fucking hell!

Ahhh!

Is she here?

Did you ever see
such an allegory

of grace
and beauty?

Two nymphs sleeping off
their amatory exertions.

You really missed something,
Nigel.

Fiona was a revelation.

All fire.

I doubt if you've ever
really made the most of her.

Oh!

Get your goddamn hands
off me.

You prick.

You don't deserve
to hear the rest of my story.

Ah, right.

You're okay, just--

just give me that thing,
all right?

Otherwise you're going
to hurt somebody.

Come on, man.
Don't be a bloody fool.
Give it to me.

Hurt somebody?

No.

Not anymore.

We were just too greedy,
baby.

That was all.

Hello.

Hello, sweetheart.

My father says to wish you
a happy New Year.