Original subtitles

( theme music playing )

YOU AWAKE?

( taps on window )

SARAH? SARAH, YOU NEED TO GET DRESSED. I JUST GOT CALLED IN.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO DROP YOU AND BEN WITH TEENIE McALLISTER.

- THEN WE HAVE TO WALK. - HONEY, JUST HURRY.

- WAKE BEN UP. - I'M AWAKE.

OH, GOOD MORNING. AND REMIND TEENIE THAT TODAY IS HONEY BEES.

AND JUST GRAB SOME FRUIT AND YOGURT FROM THE 'FRIDGE, PLEASE.

OKAY.

- ( phone ringing ) - Woman:OUCH! LESTER, DON'T-- DON'T BITE.

- ( baby crying ) -DON'T BITE.

- Hello. - HI, MOM, HOW ARE YOU?

- H-O-T. You been out yet? - NO.

My AC went on the fritz last night.

Landlord's so cheap. What's up?

I WAS WONDERING WHAT YOU WERE DOING THIS AFTERNOON,

'CAUSE I THOUGHT ONCE THE KIDS WERE DOWN,

YOU AND I COULD WATCH A VIDEO.

Margene, honey, I can't today.

Got a date with Mick at 4:00. You remember him.

- ( dog barking ) -You met him. Coco, shush!

Coco, Coco!

Honey, I gotta go. The dog's going crazy!

- Coco! -( clicks )

- Man: MORNING, BILL. - Bill:GOT THAT CASH FLOW REPORT?

SURE, RIGHT HERE.

- HAS THE BANK CALLED? MORNING, JACKIE. - NOT YET.

- HEY, CHUCK. THANKS FOR COMING IN. - HEY, THERE HE IS.

ALL CUED UP AND READY TO ROCK AND ROLL.

WELL, LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

( country music playing )

Bill Henrickson here inviting you

to the grand opening

of our new Henrickson Home Plus, this Saturday.

We got plumbing to barbeques,

bathtubs to drywall,

faucets to French doors. We have it here.

Serving the Wasatch Valley with a hometown difference,

now from our second location in Pioneer Plaza.

Now where are my cowhands?

- ( turns TV off ) - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE COWBOY HAT.

YOU THINK THE COWBOY HAT'S TOO MUCH?

YOU KIDDING? THE COWBOY HAT'S GREAT.

GOOD JOB.

YEAH, THE CINNAMON AND THE GRAY.

IT DOESN'T MATTER. UH, THE GRAY THEN, LARGE.

- Boy: I'M GONNA GET OUT NOW. -( doorbell rings )

- OOPS, I GOTTA RUN. - MOTHER!

- SO YOU HAVE EVERYTHING, RIGHT? - MOTHER.

YEAH, OVERNIGHT'S FINE. OKAY, IT'S FINE.

OKAY, BYE.

- WE'RE DONE NOW, MOTHER. - LET'S GET YOU DRIED OFF.

- ( doorbell rings ) - JUST A SEC!

OH, BOY, YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?

- UPS. - YOU'RE SO CLEVER!

( gasping )

BEAUTIFUL. LOOK.

- ( beeps ) - Woman's voice: You have 16 new messages.

DAD, OKAY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS,

But I'm starting at third base. I'm a starter.

GUYS, WAIT UP. I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT TONIGHT.

I DID IT. I'M A STARTER.

- I LOVE YOU, DAD. - WAY TO GO, BENNY.

- ( beeps ) - HI, DADDY. I CAN'T GET MOMMY ON HER CELL.

AND NICKI, WELL, YOU KNOW.

YOU HAVE TO BRING ME HOME SOME GRUBS.

REX WON'T EAT THE PINKIES. HE HASN'T EATEN IN THREE DAYS.

I think he's dying.

- GRUBS. - THANK YOU, DADDY. HAVE A NICE DAY.

( boy yelling )

( door opens and closes )

MARGE?

WHAT?

I WANTED TO WEAR SOMETHING NICE FOR DINNER,

BUT I'M STILL TOO FAT, SO NONE OF MY CLOTHES FIT.

COME HERE. PUT THIS ON.

COME ON.

WAYNE.

THIS IS A PRESENT FROM MOTHER. BE HAPPY, MARGENE.

NO... REALLY?

YOU'VE BEEN DYING FOR A GOOD SOUND SYSTEM FOR THE HOUSE.

IF BILL ASKS, DON'T TELL HIM IT'S FROM ME.

AND BETTER NOT MENTION IT TO BOSS LADY.

Hi, hon, it's me, Barb.

Listen, I got called in last minute.

MATH. THEY HAD ME TEACHING MATH.

IF THAT'S NOT A JOKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

So I think dinner's gonna be a little late.

I'M NOT GONNA HAVE TIME TO PICK UP YOUR SUITS FROM THE DRY CLEANERS.

AND BENNY'S TRYOUT WENT REALLY WELL.

He's a starter. Isn't that something?

Woman's voice: End of messages.

- HEY. - HEY, SWEETHEART.

- 10 MORE MINUTES ON THE MEATLOAF. - SOUNDS GOOD.

- YOU WERE BAD THIS MORNING. - I MADE SURE NO ONE WAS LOOKING.

- DADDY. - HEY, BUDDY BOY.

WHOO! WHERE'S YOUR MOM?

- HI, HON. - THERE YOU ARE.

- HELLO THERE. - HI, HONEY.

- BEN, SARAH, DINNER! - TASTE IT. TATER SALAD.

- MMM! - YEAH?

- YEAH! - THAT'S READY, AND SO ARE THOSE EXTRA TATER TOTS

- IN THE OVEN. CAN YOU GET 'EM OUT? - SURE.

OH, THIS LOOKS GREAT. OUR DEAR FATHER IN HEAVEN,

WE PRESENT OURSELVES UNTO THEE

AND OFFER THANKS FOR BLESSINGS BESTOWED.

WE OFFER THANKS FOR THIS FINE WARM WEATHER.

PLEASE BLESS US WITH GOOD HEALTH

AND A SUCCESSFUL STORE OPENING.

AND BLESS DEAR BENNY WITH SUCCESS

AS A VARSITY THIRD-BASE STARTER

FOR THE CUMORAH COUGARS.

THOUGH OUR TRIALS ARE GREAT, PLEASE BLESS US ALL

AS YOUR LOVING FAMILY,

SEALED TOGETHER THROUGH TIME AND ALL ETERNITY. AMEN.

HAD TO CATCH 'EM AND FIELD 'EM IN TO THE FIRST BASEMAN ONE AT A TIME.

Bill: I TOLD YOU THAT BASEBALL PLAY WOULD COME IN HANDY.

YEAH, IT DID. MARGENE, COULD YOU PASS ME THAT?

- ( chattering ) - ( soft rock music playing )

LESTER'S ON PARADE. LESTER'S ON PARADE.

( chuckles ) I THINK SOMEBODY'S GOT STINKY PANTS.

- PLEASANT DREAMS. - DON'T FORGET.

I WON'T. SAY GOOD NIGHT.

BOO! AH... BOO!

- GOOD NIGHT. - GOOD NIGHT.

Wayne: I DID IT AT SCHOOL. LOOK AT THIS PAINTING.

I DID IT MYSELF.

GOOD NIGHT.

Wayne: I WANT SOME AFTER YOU, SARAH.

SHE'S STILL FIXATED ON THOSE LAST FEW POUNDS.

IT'S SO SUPERFICIAL AND IMMATURE.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS. WE HAVE BABIES.

Wayne: HEY, BEN, COME HERE.

( water running )

I MISSED YOU SO MUCH.

SOMETIMES THREE DAYS

CAN FEEL LIKE SUCH AN ETERNITY.

AND I HATE IT WHEN FAMILY DINNER FALLS ON OUR NIGHT.

DO YOU THINK I'M DIRTY-MINDED 'CAUSE I THINK OF YOU SO MUCH?

HONEY, I MISS YOU TOO.

IF I DON'T SAY SO, IT'S CAUSE I DON'T WANT NICKI AND BARB

TO FEEL LIKE I MISS THEM ANY LESS.

SO DOES THAT MEAN

YOU MISS ME MORE?

OFFICIALLY...

I MISS YOU GUYS ALL THE SAME.

OH!

OH, GOSH, AFTER THE STORE OPENS,

I WISH THAT WE COULD JUST GO AWAY TOGETHER FOR A FEW DAYS...

- YEAH. - AND LEAVE EVERYONE BEND.

AND SLEEP IN.

- YEAH. - OH, PLEASE, JUST SLEEP IN.

LET'S DO IT THIS WAY.

MY BOOBS ARE REALLY SORE.

( baby crying )

IT'S AARON.

HE'LL STOP.

( crying stops )

- JUST RELAX, BABY. - YEAH.

- YEAH. - SHH.

YEAH.

THAT'S IT.

YEAH.

( sighing )

- IT'S NOT ME, IS IT, BILL? - NO.

NO, OF COURSE NOT. IT'S NOT ME, EITHER.

IT'S-- I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S THE STORE, THE STRESS.

OKAY.

( door opens )

Teenie: MOM, CAN I HAVE RAISINS FOR SCHOOL?

GET THEM YOURSELF.

- BEN, WHAT'S THAT STUFF? - STEROIDS.

- Ben: PROTEIN POWDER. - TEENIE.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

- WHAT? - YOU'VE COMPLETELY OUTGROWN THIS JUMPER.

IT BARELY COVERS YOUR RUMP. GO CHANGE.

MORNING, FORGOT TO GET MILK.

Sarah: ALL WE HAVE IS SKIM-- NOT MY IDEA.

WAYNE, WHAT A HANDSOME SHIRT.

IT'S LAND'S END.

SWEETIE, YOU STILL HAVE ALL YOUR TAGS AND STICKERS ON IT.

HERE COMES DAD.

HEY, DON. HEY, HEADS UP.

YEAH, I JUST GOT A CALL FROM THE LAWYER.

HE SAID HE COULD SQUEEZE US IN AT 11:00. GREAT, SEE YOU IN A BIT.

- HEY, DAD, WHAT'S UP? - HEY, BENNY BOY. HONEY.

- ARE MY BLACK SHOES UPSTAIRS? - DID YOU LEAVE THEM HERE?

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC?

- NICKI, I'M LATE. - DAD, DAD, QUICK QUESTION.

- I NEED ANOTHER GUN. - WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR SHOTGUN?

A RIFLE. BIG STUFF, DEER, ELK.

- MOM. - COME ON OUT TO THE CAR. SARAH.

I HAVE TO GET MY STUFF.

- BENNY. - THANKS, DAD.

- COME ON. WHAT WERE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT? - MOM, COME ON, WE'RE LATE.

DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE YESTERDAY?

- HON, I GAVE YOU ALL I COULD SPARE. - $100?

ISN'T THERE AT LEAST $500 YOU COULD SLIP INTO MY--

NO, COME ON, YOU KNOW THINGS ARE TIGHT UNTIL THE NEW STORE OPENS.

BARB RE-UPHOLSTERED ALL HER CHAIRS WHEN WE MOVED IN HERE.

- BARB'S BEEN WORKING, TOO. - WELL, THAT'S NOT FAIR. WE'RE LIVING UNITED ORDER,

JUST LIKE JUNIPER CREEK. EVERYTHING INTO THE COMMON POT.

YOU DON'T NEED TO REDECORATE, AT LEAST NOT RIGHT NOW.

YOU TOLD ME TO,

AND I TOLD THE LADY AT THE STORE--

YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE CARRYING? THREE HOUSES, FOR PETE'S SAKES.

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I GAVE A PERSONAL CHECKING ACCOUNT TO.

- DON'T YELL AT ME. - I'M NOT YELLING.

- I GOTTA GO. I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. - WHEN?

DON'T PUSH IT. I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

PROMISE?

DADDY.

( door closes )

ALL RIGHT, NEXT MONTH, IT'S NICKI THE 1st, MARGIE THE 2nd,

ME THE 3rd, NICKI THE 4th,

MARGIE THE 5th AND SO ON.

MARGIE, YOUR BIRTHDAY IS THE 21st,

WHICH IS MINE, BUT I'LL GIVE YOU BILL FOR THE NIGHT.

WE COULD TRADE.

OH, SWEETHEART, THAT JUST MAKES IT MORE CONFUSING.

YOU TAKE HIM BOTH NIGHTS.

- I DON'T MIND. - THANKS.

Nicki: WHAT ABOUT WAYNE'S BIRTHDAY?

HE TURNS FIVE ON THE 17th.

OH, MY HECK. THAT'S RIGHT.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. - WELL, HE SHOULD BE WITH HIS FATHER ON HIS BIRTHDAY.

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE THE 17th IS FAMILY HOME EVENING ANYWAY.

YEAH, BUT I WANT BILL TO BE WITH WAYNE AT OUR HOUSE ALL NIGHT, THOUGH.

YOU DON'T MIND, MARGIE, DO YOU?

OH, NO, I DON'T MIND AT ALL, NOT AT ALL.

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT, BOSS LADY?

I GET HIM AN EXTRA NIGHT ANYWAY, SO...

WELL...

WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU TWO IS FINE.

HERE'S HOUSEHOLD CASH.

IT'S A LITTLE SHORT...

AGAIN, BUT WE'LL MANAGE.

( snorts )

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

NICKI, I MEAN, DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY?

I MEAN, THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT LOGISTICS.

IT'S THE SPIRIT OF OPENNESS THAT MAKES US A FAMILY.

I KNOW. IT'S JUST SO TIGHT, IS ALL.

BOYS! WE TOLD YOU TO PLAY QUIET.

WAYNE, TAKE RAY INTO THE OTHER ROOM AND STICK THAT FISH MOVIE IN THE VCR.

NICKI.

YOU DON'T MIND ME USING THE LAST OF YOUR SKIPPY, DO YOU, BARB?

WE'RE FRESH OUT AT MY HOUSE.

HERE, AS CEO OF HENRICKSON HOME PLUS ONE CORP.,

GRANTING FRANCHISE AND LOAN-OUT OF TRADEMARKS AND LOGOS

TO HENRICKSON HOME PLUS TWO CORP.

HERE, AS SOLE SHAREHOLDER FOR HOME PLUS TWO,

AUTHORIZING PAYMENT OF THE FRANCHISE FEE TO HOME PLUS ONE,

AND PRESIDENT OF HOME PLUS ONE.

- ( cell phone ringing ) - HANG ON.

JUST SIGN HERE ACKNOWLEDGING RECEIPT

OF THE $100,000 FRANCHISE FEE FROM HOME PLUS TWO.

- YEAH, BILL HERE. - Wanda: Hey, hello. Bill?

WANDA?

Bill?

- Hey, hello, Bill? - HANG ON A SEC, WILL YOU?

BILL, ARE YOU STILL THERE? DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME.

I WOULDN'T BE CALLING UNLESS THIS WASN'T AN EMERGENCY.

- HOW'D YOU GET THIS NUMBER? - NICKI GAVE IT TO ME.

LET ME GUESS. JOEY'S IN TROUBLE AGAIN.

NO, YOUR BROTHER'S FINE. IT'S YOUR DADDY,

HE'S ALL SICK, AND JOEY DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I'M CALLING YOU.

HE'D KILL ME IF HE KNEW I WAS CALLING YOU BEHIND HIS BACK.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY JOEY CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS, YOU SEE?

YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T WANT ANYONE ELSE INVOLVED, YOU SEE?

Okay, fine. All right.

THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME FOR ME. I CAN'T TALK JUST NOW. I'M BUSY.

I'M BUSY TOO. JOEY AND ME ARE HAVING ANOTHER BABY. WE'RE MARRIED NOW

AND I'M JUST TRYG TO DO RIGHT BY YOUR FAMILY.

YOUR MOM'S ACTING CRAZY, JOEY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

AND NONE OF US ARE ALLOWED TO CALL YOU.

THEN DON'T. TELL JOEY TO TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR A CHANGE.

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR HIS JUNK,

- And you can tell him I said that. -( dial tone )

( laughs )

DUMB-HEAD.

- THAT'S IT. CONGRATULATIONS. - SUPER.

- DON. - LEE.

- SEE YOU AT THE STORE, PARTNER. - ALL RIGHT, BUDDY.

Woman: I think you're gonna be very happy with your curtains.

The fiber is unbelievable.

The sun can't fade it, and it's machine washable,

plus it has a 10-year guarantee.

Oh. No, this card is definitely not going through.

Is there another account you'd like to use?

THAT DANG CARD COMPANY. YEAH, LET'S TRY...

9998-8812...

1316-2219.

AND THE EXPIRATION IS 3-07.

Okay.

YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY GLAD WE DECIDED TO GO WITH THE LINERS, TOO.

People think you can skip liners with swags, but you really can't.

Oh, there. All's well.

$3,696.

PERFECT. SO I'LL RETURN THOSE SWATCHES WHEN YOU COME FOR INSTALLATION.

That's fine. So we'll see you on the 18th then.

OKAY, BYE-BYE.

( crying )

Woman on TV: This new store brings 80 new jobs to the Wasatch Valley.

I was hired just a week before being laid off from my old job.

My wife's worked for Home Plus for five years.

Henrickson's a great company.

Woman on TV: You'll just have to wait until Saturday...

NICE PIECE.

OH, PAJAMAS?

- NEW? - NO.

I THOUGHT I'D WEAR 'EM FOR A CHANGE.

YOU LOOK VERY HANDSOME IN THEM.

- YEAH? - MM-HMM.

KINDA SEXY.

DID YOU HEAR THE DILLONS ACROSS THE STREET FINALLY SOLD THEIR HOUSE?

MM-HMM, MAYBE IT WAS SOME BIG, BAD MORMON BISHOP

WHO'S TRYING TO SNUFF US OUT. I DON'T KNOW.

- BARB. - MMM?

I WANT YOU TO SIGN YOUR CHECK OVER TO ME WHEN IT COMES IN,

SO I CAN PUT IT IN THE FAMILY ACCOUNT, JUST THIS ONCE.

WE ALL NEED TO PULL TOGETHER.

THINGS WILL BE BETTER ONCE THE NEW STORE OPENS.

WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE...

BECAUSE I RESENT IT WHEN YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO, AND YOU DON'T ASK.

- NO, YOU KNOW I DO. YOU KNOW I DO. - HONEY.

- AND I RESENT IT THAT NICKI PUT YOU UP TO THIS. - OH, JUST LEAVE HER OUT.

NICKI HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.

IF SHE COULD JUST ASK ME OUTRIGHT...

WE NEED THE MONEY, IS ALL. JUST DO AS I ASK, WILL YOU?

- NO. NO, YOU MEAN DO AS YOU SAY. - YES.

ARE YOU GONNA WEAR PAJAMAS TO BED EVERY NIGHT

OR JUST ON MINE?

( telephone ringing )

- HELLO. - WERE YOU AWAKE?

- Joey? - YEAH.

It's the middle of the night.

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME LIKE THIS.

LISTEN, IT'S DAD. THAT'S WHY I'M CALLING, OKAY?

HE'S REALLY SICK. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE'S GONNA MAKE IT.

It's not the emphysema. Mom's in denial about it or something.

LOOK, BILL, I WOULDN'T CALL IF IT WASN'T BAD, ALL RIGHT?

THIS ISN'T HOW I WANTED TO GET BACK IN TOUCH WITH YOU.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?

He's throwing up blood.

Right now he's in like a coma or something.

HE'S GOT A LOT OF PAIN, TOO.

HE NEEDS TO SEE A DOCTOR, BILL.

Mom wouldn't listen. and I thought maybe with you she would.

Hello? Bill?

BILL, IT'S REALLY BAD.

ALL RIGHT, OKAY, FINE.

I'LL COME UP IN THE MORNING, SOMETIME AFTER 10:00.

- 10:00, I'll be here. - YEAH. BYE.

- WHERE IS HE? - BACK AT THE COMPOUND.

- DAD'S SICK. - WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?

MOM WON'T TAKE HIM TO THE DOCTOR-- THE USUAL.

WELL, MAYBE HE'LL JUST DROP DEAD.

HUH.

DON'T GO. DON'T DO IT.

ONCE YOU OPEN THAT DOOR, IT'S...

DO YOU HAVE A CLASS TOMORROW?

OH, BILL. NO.

NO, WHEN WE SWORE THAT WE WOULD NEVER GO BACK OUT THERE,

I REALLY MEANT IT. I CAN'T.

NO, I CA-- HMM-MM. I JUST CAN'T DO IT.

THE SEEDINESS, THE CORRUPTION,

OLD MEN PREYING ON YOUNG, HELPLESS GIRLS.

PROPHETS?

TRY CON ARTISTS, ALL OF THEM, I SWEAR.

THEN WHY ARE YOU GOING WITH HIM?

'CAUSE HE ASKED. HE'S GOT TOO MUCH ON HIS PLATE ALREADY.

NOW THIS, AND YOUR UNCLE JOEY TO BOOT.

I CAN'T LET HIM GO ALONE WITH NICKI.

ALL THE EMOTIONAL DEMANDS SHE MAKES ON HIM,

YOU KNOW HOW SHE UPSETS HIM.

MARGENE'S GONNA BE TAKING CARE OF WAYNE AND RAYMOND WHILE WE'RE GONE.

SEE IF YOU CAN HELP HER OUT WITH EVERYTHING AFTER YOU GET OFF WORK.

WHY CAN'T WE JUST HIRE A BABYSITTER LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE?

BECAUSE WE'RE NOT EVERYONE ELSE.

BARB, DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, BUT--

NICKI, PLEASE. LET'S NOT GET INTO ANYTHING UNPLEASANT.

I'M JUST SAYING, YOU DON'T HAVE TO COME.

THE FACT IS, YOU CAN MAKE THINGS SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

YOU DON'T LIKE ANYONE. YOU DON'T TRY TO FIT IN AT ALL.

YOU JUST SCOWL. WELL, ADMIT IT. YOU DO.

YOU MAKE IT HARD ON EVERYBODY ELSE.

DON'T WORRY. EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE

ONCE WE GET THERE.

- HOW ABOUT YOUR SUNGLASSES, HONEY? - THANKS.

I THINK WHAT WE NEED IS SOME LYNN ANDERSON.

SOUNDS GOOD.

( country music playing )

BUCKLE UP.

OH, HEY, DON, DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE?

YEAH. WHAT TIME ARE YOU HEADING TO SALT LAKE?

YEAH, WHEN'D THEY CALL?

SAY AGAIN?

OKAY, YEAH.

- LOOK. - HI, NICKI!

THAT'S LOIS'S SON.

WELL WELL WELL.

THERE YOU ARE. LOOK AT THIS HAIR. I S GONNA WASH IT,

- BUT I KNEW THERE WOULDN'T BE TIME TO DRY-- - YOU LOOK GREAT.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

BARB. OH.

SARAH WROTE ME THE NICEST LETTER LAST MONTH.

DID YOU BRING THE CHILDREN?

- NO. - OH, JUST LOOK AT YOU.

- NO, LOIS, THEY HAVE SCHOOL. - OF COURSE THEY DO, BARB.

LOOK AT THAT WINDSHIELD.

HOW CAN YOU SEE OUT OF IT?

- I'LL WASH IT. - HEY, MOM, WHERE'S GUMBO?

HE'S... AROUND.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE WENT TO.

JUST CHASING RABBITS.

OH, YOU ARE SUCH A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES.

- WHERE'S DAD? - INSIDE.

- JOEY SAID HE'S SICK. - HE IS. OH!

NICKI!

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN A WHILE.

OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

DAD.

DAD? OH, GOOD LORD.

HE'S BETTER TODAY. HE'S GONNA BE FINE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYONE'S SO UP IN ARMS.

DON'T LET ME DIE.

HE FELL OFF THE COUCH. I COULDN'T LIFT HIM BACK.

WHERE'S JOEY?

HE AND WANDA GOT THEIR OWN PLACE, NEXT TO THE WALKER'S. DON'T YOU LAY INTO HIM.

I PUT FRESH SHEETS ON ALL THE BEDS, IN BILL'S OLD ROOM AND OUT BACK.

- YOU CAN WORK OUT YOUR OWN SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS. - Barb: LOIS.

WE'RE NOT STAYING THE NIGHT.

- HE'S GOTTA GET TO A DOCTOR. - NO!

REMEMBER WHEN HE GOT HIS FINGERS CAUGHT IN THE FAN?

YOU SAID DOCTORS, AND HE WAS FINE.

HE NEEDED 23 STITCHES!

- BILL, THERE'S BLOOD IN HIS MOUTH. - NO, NO DOCTORS.

- THEY ONLY DRAW ATTENTION TO US. - WE KNOW ONE IN THE CITY.

IT'S AN HOUR FROM HERE. HE'S DISCREET.

- Bill: PARK MEMORIAL. - Lois:NOT A HOSPITAL!

YOU GO IN, YOU NEVER GET OUT.

TESTS AND MORE TESTS AND FINDING NEW PROBLEMS.

- NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! AND I MEAN IT! - ( Frank coughing )

WANNA HELP ME GET HIM ON THE COUCH?

MR. WOODCOCK SAYS YOU GUYS GOT TWO MORE MINUTES.

MAN, THAT NAME.

YOU CLOSING TONIGHT, PLYGIE?

YEAH. IS THAT DIET OR REGULAR?

- REGULAR. - CAN I HAVE A SIP?

WE'RE MARONA'S CONGREGATION.

WE FIGHT SIN AND ALL TEMPTATION.

BEATING SATAN'S OUR SALVATION. YAY.

OH, HERE COMES THAT NEW GIRL.

TOTAL MORG.

SO I WAS WITH MY BOYFRIEND LAST NIGHT.

WE WERE AT FIRST BASE HEADING TO SECOND, AND HE GOES, "WHAT'S THAT SMELL?"

- IT WAS ME, LIKE A VAT OF FRIES. - OH, DON'T YOU HATE THAT?

CAN I SIT WITH YOU GUYS?

YEAH.

- SO DID YOU DO SECOND? - MM-HMM.

THIRD? HOW THIRD?

I LET HIM FINGER ME.

- DONNA, GROSS! - WHAT? I'M NOT A MORBOT.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO EAT WHITE BREAD AND JELL-O

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

I THINK THAT CHASTITY TAKES COURAGE.

( giggling )

I DON'T THINK IT'S SUCH A BAD IDEA

TO GET PAST YOUR HORMONES AND NOT SCREW EVERY PENIS

THAT WILL ALLOW YOU TO MOUNT IT.

I MEAN, WHO REALLY WANTS TO GET PREGNANT OR AN STD OR SOMETHING?

YOUR MOMMY WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU.

YOU MEAN "MOMMIES."

OH MY GOD, SARAH HAS THREE MOMMIES.

BACK TO THE GREASE PIT.

SHE WON'T LET ROBERTA OR ANY OF THE OTHER WIVES NEAR HIM.

( mimics Lois ) "AND I MEAN IT."

IT'S LIKE A NERVOUS TIC AT THE END OF HALF HER SENTENCES.

( mimics Lois ) "NO DOCTORS. AND I MEAN IT."

SHE'S TAKING THE EARLY SHIFT AT THE GAS STATION TOMORROW.

AND THAT'S WHEN WE'LL TAKE HIM IN,

WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT.

GOOD.

- SHH, SHH! - ( crying )

AARON. AARON, PLEASE.

SHH, LESTER.

SHH. WAYNE, NO!

RAY! RAY!

- ( telephone ringing ) - OH!

SHH, SHH!

NO! ( crying )

- HELLO. - Barb: Hi, Marge, it's Barb.

- HI. - HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING?

Everything is okay. We have everything under control.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR.

- FRANK. - So when are you coming home?

WELL, THINGS ARE A LITTLE BIT UP IN THE AIR HERE.

IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE STAYING OVER THE NIGHT.

- Can you hear me? - I CAN'T HEAR YOU. WHO'S THAT CRYING?

- No, he's not crying. - TELL HER WAYNE NEEDS TO BE IN BED BY 8:00

OR SHE'LL BE UP ALL NIGHT.

- I DON'T WANT TO OVERWHELM HER. - I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.

Bill: NO, THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE. THERE'S NO WAY I'M OPENING UP WITHOUT A TEST RUN.

- YOU'RE BREAKING UP. - BARB, I CANNOT HEAR YOU!

TELL THEM IF THEY WANNA GET PAID, WELL, THEY'D BETTER FIND A WAY TO DO IT.

NICKI SAYS THAT WAYNE NEEDS TO BE IN BED BY 8:00 OR THERE'LL BE HECK TO PAY.

HONEY, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?

BARB, WHEN WILL YOU BE HOME?

I'M GOING UP THE ROAD TO SEE MY FOLKS. I'LL STAY THERE TONIGHT.

YOU BETTER COME BY AND PAY YOUR RESPECTS TO MY FATHER.

- NICKI, I GOT MY HANDS FULL HERE. - ( Frank coughing )

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY?

WE'LL BE FINE. WE'LL BE OKAY.

EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL.

Barb: IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, CALL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.

- Wait! Wait! Stop running! - BYE-BYE.

Wayne!

( Frank coughs )

RHONDA.

DO YOU FEEL OKAY?

YOU SURE?

WELL WELL WELL.

- BILL. - HELLO, ROMAN, ALBY.

- YOU REMEMBER RHONDA? - YEAH, SURE.

AND LOOK AT THIS.

LOOK WHO WE GOT HERE. SISTER LOIS.

FRANK STILL FEELING POORLY?

HARLEEN SENT OVER ANOTHER BATCH OF THIS STUFF.

TELL HIM TO DRINK IT, TELL HIM I SAID SO.

COME ON, SISTER RHONDA.

I GOT SOME MINT TEA ON THE STOVE.

WE'VE MISSED YOU UP HERE, BILL.

WE'VE HAD SOME TREMENDOUS GROWTH.

4,000 ATTENDED SACRAMENT LAST WEEK.

AND DID YOU KNOW, WE EVEN HIRED A P.R. FIRM SINCE THE OLYMPICS?

US WITH A P.R. FIRM. CAN YOU BEAT THAT?

- I SURE CAN'T. - THEY'RE CONSULTANTS. P.R. CONSULTANTS, PAPA.

AND YOU'RE OPENING ANOTHER STORE, I UNDERSTAND.

- VERY SOON. - I'VE CALLED YOU SEVERAL TIMES.

- FIVE, SIX-- HOW MANY, ALBY? - EIGHT, PAPA.

EIGHT?

YOU REMEMBER LEE INCORPORATED US FIVE YEARS AGO.

HE SENT THE PAPERS OUT TO YOU YESTERDAY.

WE'RE A LITTLE LATE FILING,

BUT IT'S ALL SQUARED AWAY NOW.

OH, WONDERFUL.

SO WE GOT NO PROBLEM THEN.

- TOTALLY SQUARED AWAY. - I'M GLAD.

MIGHTY GLAD.

SO WHAT KIND OF MUSIC ARE YOU INTO?

LET ME HELP. I LIKE JAZZ.

I LIKE LINKIN PARK.

I CAN'T HELP IT. I REALLY LIKE BOBBY McFERRIN.

YOU KNOW WHEN I'M 21,

I REALLY WANNA GO ON A MISSION,

AND I WI I COULD GO TO AN ISLAMIC COUNTRY BECAUSE I THINK POST-9/11,

THAT PART OF THE WORLD NEEDS OUR HELP THE MOST, DON'T YOU THINK?

I THINK THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS HELP.

SEE, I LIKE YOU, SARAH.

YOU'RE THOUGHTFUL, RIGHT-MINDED,

NOT ALL BOY-CRAZY OR SCREWED UP.

SO WHAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY?

PRETTY AVERAGE, I GUESS.

THEY INVOLVED IN ANY CHURCH ACTIVITIES?

THEY USED TO BE.

THEY'RE PRETTY BUSY NOW. DAD'S A BUSINESSMAN.

MOM'S A TEACHER. WELL, SHE'S A SUBSTITUTE.

SHE'S TAKING CLASSES TO BE FULL-TIME ACCREDITED.

AND MY UNCLE JOEY USED TO PLAY FOR THE NFL.

- HE USED TO PLAY FOR DALLAS. - WOW. THAT'S REALLY COOL.

SO WHAT ABOUT YOU?

ARE YOU IN YOUNG WOMEN'S?

- MIA MAIDS, LAURELS? - NO, HMM-MM.

WHAT WARD ARE YOU IN?

I'M NOT REALLY INTO CHURCH THESE DAYS.

I MEAN, I LIKE THEIR POSITIONS, THEIR TAKE ON MORALS AND HONESTY,

BUT...

SO YOU'RE INACTIVE.

I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT MAKES SENSE TO ME.

OH.

NO, I GET IT.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER

AND I CAN CALL YOU SOMETIME NEXT WEEK

- AND WE CAN HANG OUT? - OKAY.

- I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO. - NO. YEAH.

OKAY, COOL. ( giggles )

SO WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS DO?

MY MOTHER IS A HOMEMAKER.

AND SHE SERVED AS Y.W. COUNSELOR

AT OUR OLD WARD.

SHE'S PRETTY ACTIVE IN RELIEF SOCIETY.

SHE'S REALLY GREAT.

AND MY DAD,

HE'S A STATE TROOPER.

( snoring )

RHONDA?

DID SARAH COME TOO?

NO NO, SHE COULDN'T.

WHY?

SHE HAS SCHOOL.

OH.

YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY MORE BABIES?

NO, HONEY, I HAD CANCER.

WHEN?

SIX YEARS AGO.

I HAD A HYSTERECTOMY.

IS THAT WHEN YOU SAID BILL COULD MARRY NICKI?

WELL...

THERE'S A LITTLE MORE TO IT THAN THAT, SWEETIE.

I'M MAIED TO THE PROPHET NOW.

( whispering ) OH, RHONDA!

NO!

Rhonda: THEY USED TO BE REGULAR MARRIED,

BUT DIDN'T LIVE THE PRINCIPLE...

( tea kettle whistling )

...SO GOD WOULDN'T BLESS HER WITH ANYMORE BABIES.

THEY TOOK HER TO THE HOSPITAL,

BUT... THEY STILL COULDN'T FIX HER.

I'M NEVER GONNA GET CANCER.

IT'S TOO HOT. I WANT IT WITH MILK.

( heart monitor beeping )

( grumbles )

WE NEED A TOXICOLOGY.

( children laughing )

- Nicki: IT'S GORGEOUS, MAMA. - FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

SISTERWIVES ALL CHIPPED IN AND GOT IT FOR MY COLLECTION.

EVERYBODY KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE LLADRO.

I KNOW, THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.

- WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A COUPLE? - PAPA, CAN I...?

WHAT?

NO, NOTHING.

WHAT HAVE YOU GONE AND DONE NOW, NICKI?

PAPA...

WHAT IS IT, HONEY, HMM?

- WHAT'S WRONG? - IT'S JUST SO HARD.

THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

MARGENE, FROM SOME HICK TOWN IN COLORADO--

SHE DOESN'T HAVE A CLUE.

BARB, SHE'S SO... ( sighs )

EVERYTHING'S SO SUPERFICIAL,

LIKE FIXING UP YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR CAR, AND...

( sighs )

I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK.

NICOLETTE, HUSH. YOU'RE MARRIED NOW

AND TO A GOOD MAN,

AND YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT

THE LIFE THAT GOD CHOSE FOR YOU.

YOU JUST HAVE TO GROW UP

AND STOP BEING SUCH A DREAMER.

( car door slams )

( metal detector beeps )

- HERE YOU GO. - Woman: THANK YOU.

( keys jangle )

( heart monitor beeping )

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM? STOP!

MOM, MOM, MOM-- IT'S OKAY.

- YOU-- HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME! - MOM, I'M NOT DEFYING YOU.

- I HAVE SOME RIGHTS. - YES YES, I KNOW.

YOU CAN'T TREAT ME LIKE SOME OLD CAR READY FOR THE SCRAP HEAP.

- I'M TAKING HIM HOME! - MOM, NOW PLEASE, NO. HE'S REALLY SICK.

- HMM-MM. - YES, HE HAS ARSENIC POISONING.

OH, FRANK! FRANK, I'M GONNA GET YOU OUT OF HERE.

I WANT HIM OUT. I WANT HIM HOME AND I MEAN IT.

MOTHER, MOTHER, LISTEN TO ME!

HE'S FULL OF ARSENIC! HE HAS TO STAY HERE.

- ARSENIC? - YES.

Bill: NOW THE HOSPITAL IS SUPPOSED TO REPORT IT TO THE STATE,

TO THE POISON CONTROL BOARD SO THEY CAN INVESTIGATE.

IT'S OKAY.

OUR DOCTOR'S AGREED NOT TO TELL ANYONE,

BUT HE HAS GOT TO STAY HERE AND BE TREATED.

OH, DEAR LORD.

DO YOU KNOW IF HE'S BEEN NEAR ANY PESTICIDES?

HAVE THERE-- HAVE THERE BEEN ANY FEUDS GOING ON WITH THE WIVES

OR ANY OTHER CLAN STUFF I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

( sobbing )

( moans )

EASY.

EASY EASY, IT'S OKAY.

IT'S OKAY. WE'RE HERE.

( whimpers )

Barb: OH, WHAT A NIGHTMARE, THAT PLACE.

LITTLE RHONDA? WHAT IS SHE 14, 15?

MARRIED OFF TO ROMAN.

WHAT IF IT WERE SARAH?

JOEY WITH WANDA,

TRYING TO STAY CLEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THAT CRAZINESS, IT JUST--

BARB, I KNOW. I KNOW,

BUT I WISH YOU'D JUST LEAVE THEM BE.

I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION WE FELT THE SAME WAY ABOUT IT.

WELL, WE DO, BUT I WISH YOU'D LAY OFF AND QUIT PICKING AT 'EM.

THEY'RE NOT US AND WE'RE NOT THEM, OKAY?

CAN'T WE JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT?

AND DANG IT, I WISH YOU'D JUST GIVE ME THAT CHECK.

YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I'M ASKING FOR THE GRAND CANYON.

( sighs )

I GOTTA GO BY THE STORE.

( slams door )

( door slams )

( phone ringing )

- EAGLE GAS. - It's Bill. I wasn't sure you'd be there.

- You got back okay? - ( laughs ) I'M NOT INCOMPETENT.

SO MOM, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA,

ANY IDEA AT ALL HOW DAD GOT EXPOSED TO THE ARSENIC?

Lois: I'M PUTTING IN A NEW WATER TANK

AND HAVING THE HAND-PUMP TESTED.

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO SAY TO YOU.

We're sealed as family for eternity.

You can't just waltz in and out whenever it suits you.

WHO KNOWS WHEN YOUR BROTHER WILL HAVE A SPELL

AND GET HOPPED UP AND GO SAILING OFF THE DEEP END AGAIN?

YOU'RE THE ONLY TWO I HAVE LEFT.

I KNOW THAT, MOM.

There's something else I wanna tell you. Now listen to me.

No one will ever care for you

like your real family.

YOU BETTER LEARN THAT NOW

OR YOU WILL REGRET IT,

WIND UP ALL ALONE.

YOU BETTER REMEMBER WHERE YOU COME FROM.

YOU BETTER REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.

- ( bell rings ) - I GOT A CAR OUT FRONT.

( dial tone )

( crickets chirping )

( punk rock music playing )

MARGENE!

HONEY!

( music stops )

HONEY, WHAT IS IT?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I TRY TO CONTRIBUTE AND I TRY TO DO MY PART,

AND I JUST CAN'T GET IT-- I CAN'T GET IT RIGHT.

I CAN'T DO ENOUGH. I CAN HARDLY TAKE CARE OF MY BOYS,

- LET ALONE NICKI'S. - IT'S ALL RIGHT.

I AM A TOTAL FUCKUP. ( sighing )

I CAN'T MEASURE UP TO YOU OR NICKI.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO MEASURE UP.

YOU JUST-- JUST BE YOURSELF.

THAT'S ENOUGH.

I CAN'T PLEASE BILL.

I'M SURE YOU DO.

I'M JUST NOT ANY GOOD AT THIS.

Barb: I DON'T THINK IT'S ALWAYS EASY FOR ANYONE.

WE'RE NOT TRAPPED. WE'RE ALL HERE BY CHOICE.

WE'VE CHOSEN TO BE A FAMILY.

I AM TRAPPED.

I HAVE TWO BABIES,

AND I AM SUCH A CRUMMY MOTHER.

BOSS LADY'S RIGHT, MARGE.

IT'S NOT EASY.

NONE OF IT'S EASY.

Roman: I GAVE YOUR WIFE A RIDE BACK.

YOU AND I NEED TO TALK.

ROMAN, ALBY.

NOW, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, BILL?

THAT I WOULDN'T READ THESE,

OR THAT I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND THEM IF I DID?

- NOW, ROMAN, THIS IS DIFFERENT. - WE STAKED YOU.

WE HAVE 15% OF THE STORE--

BOTH STORES, AS I SEE IT.

NO, THIS STORE IS ANOTHER LEGAL ENTITY.

- IT'S SEPARATE. - SEPARATE?

THAT'S FALSE, PAPA.

YOU'RE ENTITLED TO 15% OF THE FIRST STORE, WHICH YOU RECEIVE.

THIS STORE'S A FRANCHISE. SO YOU'RE ENTITLED TO 15% OF THE FRANCHISE FEE

- IT PAYS TO THE FIRST STORE. - AND WHO OWNS THE FRANCHISE?

YOU CAN PUT IT ANY WAY YOU WANT, BILL.

HAVE YOUR ATTORNEYS ARRANGE IT ANY WAY YOU PLEASE,

BUT WE GET 15% OF ANYTHING YOU DO.

LISTEN TO ME, SON-- CAREFULLY.

THERE'S MAN'S LAW AND THERE'S GOD'S LAW.

AND I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT SIDE I'M ON.

I'M SORRY...

THAT'S NOT THE WAY I SEE IT.

ALBY.

( march music playing )

- CUMORAH COUGAR MARCHING BAND! - ( cheering )

HOW ABOUT GIVING 'EM A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE?

THEY SOUND GREAT.

- C'MON, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE CUT THAT DANG RIBBON? - ( cheering )

( soft music playing )

( exhales heavily )

IT'S NOT BECAUSE U ASKED.

IT'S BECAUSE I WANTED TO.

I NEED SOME SLEEP, BILL.

( distant barking )

I THINK MOM'S TRYING TO POISON DAD.

( Latin new wave music plays )