Original subtitles

RAINBOW BUBBLES

Say it, man !

Say it, man ! Why don't you say it ?

Say it, don't play up, I'm not in the mood for begging !

Silence is our spell.

We cross two rivers, three creeks and we don't utter a word.

A wolf will be a wolf, no need for words...

Hands up on the blue line !

I'm not telling !

Hello, Granny !

- Cheers ! - Cheers !

I'm not telling.

Cheers and good luck !

Long life to the newlyweds and four grandchildren to the grandparents.

To you, uncle Ene Lelea, happy marriage, lots of joy and good luck.

If only you could down the wolves in the swamp as easily as you down your glasses...

No !

Ene dear, come here, this nutcase doesn't want to get dressed.

Maybe you convince her. Not you, I said Ene.

Do something, or I'll strangle her.

You can't go without a veil.

Me thinks

a bride is a magic bird flying like a blue reed.

Fine, just the veil.

Come on, mummy's little reed !

Don't move !

Attention, attention !

Tonight the movie caravan presents the Romanian colour movie "A girl's tear",

starring two international names, Dorel Vişan and George Negoescu.

Admission is one egg per person.

Don't move !

Smile !

Stay still !

No, no, no, don't let it tear !

We still have seats.

Father-in-law, bring in the food ! Let our dear guests endulge.

Father-in-law, all the food should go on the table !

- Hey, Bigu, you got out of jail ? - Yeah, it's over and done with.

Incredible, to spend a year in jail for shooting a deer !

What can you do ? If it was like that...

Welcome, Bigu ! Our president is getting married.

Hey, Bigu !

Hey, Bigu !

No wedding is memorable without Bigu's trumpet.

- Let me introduce you... - Hey, Bigu !

Play a song for us, Bigu !

Bigu...

Open up, Gia !

Or else I'll cast a spell on the lock !

Let me be !

Open the door, Gia, I'll show you a lamb.

Its earrings are as beautiful as yours.

We feed it milk and wine and this autumn we'll tie it to the baby's cradle.

Go to hell, bloody old scarecrow !

Go to hell ! You stole bullets from the front and you've sold them for matches !

May your whip rot in your hand ! May your feet rot in your boots !

Scarecrow !

- Scarecrow ! - You're a nutcase !

- Hag ! - Shut your trap !

What's got into you ? What have I done to you ?

Long may she live !

Long may she live !

Happy birthday !

Look who's coming.

Vili Paradis, builder of beer caps,

archangel of socialist commerce,

former team leader of citizen Bigu Zamfirescu.

Could it be like this, the afterlife ?

- The trumpet is a muffled instrument. - Only in the hands of fools, Mr. Vili.

Long may she live !

Long may she live !

Happy birthday !

Long may she live !

Long may she live !

Who dares marching in the hallway with mud on their boots ?

Why are these people against me ?

Ene ?

- Dragomir, you are stealing. - What am I stealing ?

- The soil that's stuck to your boots. - I don't steal, I've come to ask you...

Your business if you steal or not, but leave this place clean !

Leave it clean, 'cause inspectors always visit unexpectedly, that's what they do.

Tell me more, you know everything.

I know everything, except for my own worries.

What am I ? Diamond or hollow cheese ?

What do people have against me to curse me all the time ?

What for ?

Fantastic kick ! Nine to nil for our team !

Extraordinary reversal of odds !

The public is going wild. Congratulations to Constantin

who skillfully managed to change the final score.

In an exchange with Aldea,

Forţ has raised the score to 13-nil for Romania,

in this match against France.

Have you seen Sofica ?

- Have you seen Sofica ? - No.

You didn't have enough patience...

You don't know anything.

I know that I could kill you.

Drink up.

I don't drink !

What have I done to her, people ?

- What have I done ? - We haven't used this clever lot properly.

- In our street Bigu was the best ! - Bigu is the man we need.

We'll put him in charge of the village shop,

to give him time to look after the soccer team as well.

Vili will invigorate the local small industry.

- I liked you, you're the best goalkeeper. - You're good, man, no question about it !

I'm like the fox standing on the barrell at the back of the cellar.

Show up tomorrow, both of you, to take charge of your new positions.

But no more fooling around, are we clear ?

Oh, what are the wishes of our Nuţica, the telephone operator ?

Nuţica ? Gorgeous Nuţica who connects us to Constanţa, Bucureşti, Făcăieni, Săcele

and all the cities of the world !

Hello ? Hello ? This is Doi Brazi (Two Pines),

the richest village on the banks of the Danube.

We're offering Nuţica a box of Napolitana waffles.

Napolitana, it's May, the month of love, happiness and love-making !

- Have you got cellophane, dear ? - Cellophane, Granny dear ?

In Syracuse, Sitera, Lesbos and Corinth.

Hey ! You guys are so charming when you dob people in.

And you have nice names, too.

Ulmu (Elm), Mestecăneanu (Birch) and...

- Garofiţă (Carnation). - Garofiţă.

Expensive woods and floral essence, that's what you are.

They steal corn from the fields, comrade Munteanu !

They don't go to work and don't send their wives either.

- And they grow 20 pigs each. With what ? - With grass.

- And in winter ? - With snow.

Come on...

Esteemed comrade, I didn't steal. I just happened to be passing by.

Shut your trap ! You steal corn from the fields !

That's why I'm giving you a fine !

He's giving us a fine, without ever catching us.

About the corn - it's all a lie.

We only took what was left after they set the fields on fire.

Esteemed comrade, they don't even finish harvesting before they burn.

Or bury what's left.

- Excuse me please, I have a cold. - He has a cold.

That happenned at the I.A.S. (State Farming Enterprise).

And why didn't you attend the harvest ?

Were you there ? No ! You didn't come to pick the carrots either, in autumn.

Dear Comrade, they only teach the children soccer at school.

Since our kids are given so much trouble,

when will they ever catch up with the city kids ? When ?

When will you feel ashamed of standing, elbows on the fence,

and watch others work in your place ?

Comrade Munteanu, here's an agitated woman...

I'm not an agitated woman, I'm a stabbed woman.

I'm sorry.

Vili Anghel Paradis, my de facto,

has run away from home leaving me with these three children.

Keep crying, guys !

I'm not crying because he's not our father.

You're sheltering gangsters who don't want to pay child support

for someone else's children... What are we going to do with you ?

You could get us grow 10 hectares worth of melons, in the next five year plan,

'cause for the last 8 years all we got was cucumbers and green tomatoes.

Don't ! Vili Papadis used to smash melons on mum's head all the time.

- You will end up in jail ! - Why should I end up in jail ?

It's my sofa. I do whatever I want with it. I sell it. I drink it. My bloody business !

- What will our dear guests sleep on ? - I don't know, let them sleep on the mat.

- Comrade... - Comrade engineer...

I've been to the village shop and they refused to give me corrugated iron.

I lent you my sofa for three days, not for three weeks !

- Take it easy, man ! - What for ? I don't want to.

Patience, man. We have an order for toy frogs and beer caps.

I don't care about your toy frog ! Seventeen rows of comrades...

With toy frogs and beer caps to achieve.

Dragomir, have people been swearing at you again ?

What have these people got against me ?

I'm giving him my sofa, done deal !

Slow down, Victor, you're breaking my bones !

I've had my share of shakes while working for the county authority.

Looks like she went to sleep at her father's again... Hey, wait !

Go, be a man, go on ! My God, what we have to go through !

Good evening !

I see that my wife has trouble leaving her parents.

Ene, man, she's not with us.

She's eloped with that jailbird, Bigu, bringing shame upon us !

A bitch in love will be a bitch even on Easter Sunday.

Go inside !

People, my blood starts to boil

when I think of the man and the status she's lost. Silly slut !

- It is your fault ! - Go inside !

You should've tied her to the foot of the bed and rein her in !

- Go on inside ! - So you know !

Go on inside !

What a shame, you had no luck.

I thought she'd wait for you.

Damn ! While I visited the county it didn't cross my mind

to buy something for my sore mouth.

I bought shoes instead and a hat fit for an undertaker.

Do you like them ?

Not too tight ?

They're your size.

37 and a half.

Same as those I bought you for the wedding.

- I don't remember. - Tell me about it !

That's what women are like...

they go crazy every so often.

You're referring to Gia, but you're wrong.

It's Bigu's fault. Ene Lelea is a fool if he doesn't chop off his balls.

The story is complicated, man. I was with Bigu in jail.

- All that Bigu could think of was Gia. - Gia ?

- Gia. - Right...

And the same goes for Gia.

- She would send him parcel after parcel. - Parcels ? Sneaky woman...

Tell me about it !

While we were visiting the county, I so felt like swearing.

But I thought it was best not to bring up the subject.

Let someone else break the news.

Pretty obvious she never loved Ene Lelea.

Ene Lelea is a man worth living for even if you don't love him.

He bought her the most beautiful shoes I've ever seen on a woman's foot.

And believe me, I've seen quite a few.

Let's get going.

Had he bought her a castle, she'd still have stayed with Bigu.

They've been sweethearts since long ago.

What castle have I ever bought you, Joica, that you came back to me ?

I came back to hate you, that's why I came back.

Greetings from the infantry !

Papa Leon...

What have you got in there ?

You're back.

- As you can see. - So, what's new in the county ?

I'll debrief you when you show me the basket.

We're vigilent, got new orders from the county bosses.

Let's implement them. But you're wrong about me.

- No communal goods in here. - Come on, open it !

Six kittens, Ene.

Instruct me: what do I do with them ?

Make them a nice shelter, safe from the sheepdogs.

That's what I call an enlightened mind, Ene ! You've shared my thoughts !

Ene ! Ene ! What's that whip for ?

This devil, Papa Leon, has no sleep and is fussing over some kittens.

- I asked you what the whip was for. - The whip...

I'm chasing the horses of the night.

Give it to me and let's go check the incubators.

200 chicken hatched today and two of them can sing.

- Where do you get all this nonsense ? - Come see for yourself !

These are the singing ones. Come on, gives us a song !

You shine like an eel.

- I don't know what an eel is. - A long, shiny fish.

It belongs to Gia.

She gave it to me yesterday, in the rain.

- A bottle of expensive stuff... - To drink ?

A drink you'll enjoy so much ! I can't believe how lucky you are !

- Why can't I have your luck ? - Does he love me ?

He loves you ! He cares for you, there's no one else in his life.

- He's kissing you... Oh my ! - So he'll be coming tonight.

Of course he will ! There will be joy in your house !

Help me ! Do something !

I don't have what I need for my come-back spells.

'Cause I'm with Mrs. Romica now and the gentleman from Bucharest.

The swan of luck has arrived for you !

Vili Anghel Paradis has brought you happiness !

I'm a flamingo, a red bird, a white bird.

People, lady luck has cat clows ! To her, man is a mouse !

And no one escapes her lucky scratches.

I said no one escapes the lucky scratches, if they know how to stroke a cat.

Hello, connecting you now.

If I catch you again allowing Vili Paradis in here...

Father, Vili has orders all around the country.

How could I forbid him to use the phone ?

Phone calls are made from the booth, not from your lap !

How dare you, Vili is a gentleman !

Hello, is this the auto depot...

Comrade engineer, come quickly. Ene Lelea has gone crazy !

Your connection, go on.

Four for you, four for her.

No dresses for me, they're all for her.

- No, that's mine ! From Mum. - A plastic tub.

For her.

A filled up bundle !

Ene ! Ene it's not my business to interfere, but you've lost your mind !

- Do you want to be a horse ? - A pot and a mincer.

- For her ! - A horse, why ? We have a hundred.

- A penguin. - For me.

- We have a hundred horses. - Leave those alone, keep them out of this.

Bigu !

- What ? - Farewell !

Gia, I know you can hear me. Enjoy that Bigu of yours !

Your wife's dowry.

Plus something extra on top.

Death by knife to he who takes offence !

- Good day. - Hi.

- Listen, please give this to Gia. - Okay.

- And this. - Sure.

I'm really surprised no to find her here today.

She didn't come.

Mum, here comes the loser ! With corn !

Go to hell, scarecrow !

What's wrong, witch ?

May your whip fall from your hand !

Shut your trap, witch !

May your whip rot in your hand !

May you bite the dust !

Comrades, in conclusion, we unanimously...

Who locked the phone inside the drawer ?

Who locked the phone inside the drawer ? Don't write this.

It's to stop our night guards from chatting on the phone all night.

- Who has the keys ? - Nicu Bocioacă.

- And where is Bocioacă ? - He's not here.

He was on night shift.

Someone go get him ! This can't go on like this ! It can't !

You read on.

Based on a majority of votes, from today grazing is permitted on the soccer field

during weekdays, to farming cooperative cattle only.

Comrades, we have to mindfully use every available patch of grass.

Anyway, the results of our soccer team call for immediate action

against misconduct by the leadership of the club itself.

Who is for the proposed sanctions ?

Let's... Let's vote for this one more time. Who is for ?

One more time: who is for ?

Who talked ?

Have you seen Sofica ?

- Have you seen Sofica ? - We haven't.

Where the hell has she gone ? My head hurts.

- Yes. - Hello. Ene Lelea ?

It's me, comrade Munteanu, Ene Lelea.

- Hello. Ene Lelea ? - At your service !

When can you report the completion of the works ?

What's happening over there ? Hello ? Hello ?

I can't, comrade Munteanu. It's a personal matter.

I can't tell you over the phone.

Take action and report back to me ! Bye.

Swinging chains which allow the gathering of sunflower stalks...

without shaking them.

This leads to a reduction in waste...

Bovine station. Wait a moment.

Kiss-kiss those freckled eyelids ! Făcăieni.

Hello ? One moment.

You are connected. Council ? You have the bovine station.

Hey, Călăraşi ? Give me Făcăieni.

Good luck, love !

Hello, Făcăieni ? Wait a moment.

- Hello ? - Sorry, love.

Hello, Făcăieni ? Tomorrow we're sending you

ten thousand tin frogs and five hundred shell decorated frames.

Hope we understand each other.

Ducklings ? What ducklings ? Froggies ! I have frogs.

- Kiss-kiss your hands, I finished. - Thanks. Călăraşi, we're finished.

Thanks, love. Călăraşi, I will return the favour.

Gavrilă, why are you holding back my men from their work ?

Comrade president, we have orders... A gas cylinder plus a goose.

Watch it or you'll end up in some quarry !

Get me a connection with the county authority !

Here's the county... No, leave us alone...

- Hello, comrade Ene Lelea ? - This is he, Ene Lelea.

What's up with the corn ? The country needs polenta !

Comrade Munteanu, the gas cylinders have arrived.

- What's with the geese ? - Geese, where from ?

- What do you mean, where from ? - We don't have any...

- You have thousands in the village. - We don't have any, in the whole village.

We don't have more than... 20.

You have the Danube and the ponds, there should be thousands !

Those thousands were handed over for contractual obligations.

Why are there carts on the road at night ?

May I report: people must have a warm meal.

Why are there carts on the road at night, in your village ?

Have you switched time zones ? What are carts doing on the fields, at night time ?

- Now, you sort out the time zone thing... - This smells like theft.

- Hello ? - Comrade engineer.

Take action to stop the carts from roaming the fields at night.

I will take action.

Take action and report back to me immediately.

- Yes, yes. - Bye.

Hello, yes.

This guy lives in a parallel world.

Tell it to the engineer.

Comrade engineer, the wolves have gulped down 6 sheeps at Grindu Orb.

Uncle Petre, gather some men and send Garofiţă to get my gun.

- Can I take Bigu as well ? - Bigu.

Bigu, there's no one like him to lure the wolves. He's also got his magic grass.

Bring him, uncle Petre, but he's not allowed to shoot, understand ?

- I do. - Go now.

- Mestecăneanu ! - Yes.

One cart wheel.

- Why me and not someone else ? - Go !

I'll give them back once we finished the harvest.

Call engineer Cristea !

Oniţă !

- One cart wheel. - When did you come up with this idea ?

At night, when there's a lightening storm, best time ever to steal corn.

Patraulea !

Come out.

I'm coming.

Ulmu !

Kid, go find Papa Leon and tell him to come to the school.

- Come on. - I'm grabbing my coat and I'm on my way.

Bad news, engineer !

Bigu is arresting everyone in the village. With your shotgun !

Hands up !

Up, on the wall !

Papa Leon, search my pockets.

The left one.

Start with Ulmu.

Move to Patraulea.

You'll be in trouble again, Bigu.

The shirt sleeves, too. I am paying. Come on.

Bigu, man...

And he's not entitled to have a personal garden plot either, comrade engineer.

Tarachiu had four-of-a-kind.

You bastard !

You bastard !

Bigu is not entitled to a garden plot. Go talk to Ene Lelea if you dare.

- This one ? - No, the other one.

- This one ? - No.

- This one ? - That one.

Alright.

- We lose honestly, we pay honestly. - Good grog requires good music.

I haven't listened to good music since Ene's wedding.

- Cheers ! - I was still holding a four-of-a-kind.

Bigu, they finished your vineyard. Goodbye grapes.

Bigu, here's my advice: better wear your skin on a stick.

- What are these ? - Music sheets.

Whom are we making music for ?

- Ene Lelea, of course. - To the County Committee.

No, no, no. To...

No, no... Dear Editor.

Dear Editor...

Ene Lelea...

... president of the agricultural cooperative

...in Doi Brazi...

Is a tyrant.

Tyrant... and dumb.

Sign, please.

At your service, and bon appétit ! At your service.

Please help yourselves, they're from Corinth.

And haven't been soaked in poison.

Vili !

You are the messenger of bad news. Tell me the worst one, quickly.

Read it yourself, comrade engineer. May I be trampled by those whom I hold dearest,

if you've ever heard such a disgusting thing.

"The president of our cooperative"

"... in Doi Brazi..."

"... is a tyrant."

What do we do ?

We mail them, what else ?

Where are the people, have you sent them on a mountain holiday ?

Where ? They've gone to mourn Bigu's pine tree, the one you cut down last night.

- Who said that I cut it ? - The people

What people ?

Those who sing about a puppy dog at the mercy of a treacherous woman.

Pass the ball !

Oh, my pine tree !

Pine tree, oh, pine tree

You reached out to the sky

You used to sparkle like a rocket

Your whisper was heard along the Danube banks

And the enemy has struck you down.

- Who messed up your head like this ? - Not women, in any case.

Pine tree, you beauty, you've broken my heart.

Go on, cut the other pine tree in the village ! Cut the cherry-trees,

the peach-trees, the lot: the power is all yours !

- Papa Leon, you talk more than you should. - Why wouldn't I ?

My father brought these pines in his knapsack, from the Balkan war.

You're lying !

I might be, but I'm not chopping down pine trees.

You're a mean old bastard !

You forgot I taught you how to ride wild foals from the marshes,

when you were little. You forgot.

Manager Bigu... Absent without leave.

Here's 3,000 lei. Spend it in good health.

When you hand over the pigs, come for the balance.

If you're still the cashier...

Listen, Gogodita, I got away every time the pier got flooded.

This is the money - never say let the servants come to me.

Comrade inspector, I'm the president of this cooperative !

I'm calling the shots now. We grab four witnesses, as required by the law,

we open the store and we check the inventory.

Whoever takes the magic path must deal with the consequences.

- What if he comes out clean ? - Maybe he won't.

First quality halva. Two and a half kilos, in half kilo packs.

White mackerel, from the Danube.

- Fit for consumption. - 46, 47, 48...

This rum will be subtracted, I'll pay for it.

183...

- 184. - So far he looks fairly clean.

Aunty Zoica, where did you run to, when you ran away ?

I don't know.

It's been a long time.

Had you told me, I would've brought Bigu back tonight,

'cause this mob is checking his inventory.

Come back home, there's big trouble. They want to throw you back in jail.

And Gia was sacked from her brigade. Why did you elope, if you love each other ?

I was horrified by what he was capable of doing. I don't want to lose the baby.

- What's going on ? - Bigu is back. He's cleaning his yard.

Good day. Look, Bigu is back.

Good day. Look, Bigu is back.

Good day.

Is your tongue tied up in a knot, too, so you can't talk to me ?

Piss off man ! What the hell !

What's up, man, why are you swearing at me ? What for ?

Shame on you for swearing at me ! What have I done to you ?

Sign.

Do you believe everything that's written here ?

The inspection was performed

in the presence of the cooperative's president and four witnesses.

- I ask to do it again, in my presence. - Maybe... when the court decides.

Don't be stubborn, be sensible, otherwise you'll sink even deeper.

- I'm not signing anything. - Very good. We will sign.

Comrade engineer, comrade president, in my opinion we shouldn't abandon this case.

My word, my first intention was to get him handcuffed.

I'm asking you: who cut down the pine tree ?

I don't know. I never had a Christmas tree when I was a child.

I had one every year.

He's got a 5,000 lei deficit. I can't cover for him.

- Even if he pays it back immediately ? - Everybody knows.

Since he got back, he's never won a single card game.

You do the sums.

- Whoever did the crime should do the time. - Is he guilty ?

If he is, I'll sign.

Greetings, comrade boss !

I have something to discuss with you.

- Strictly confidential. - Can't you see we're in a meeting ?

- Continue the meeting after I leave. - Let's respect the old lady's wishes.

Let's talk in private, comrade.

Take a seat.

Comrade Ene, get me the Moon from the sky.

You won't be able.

I'll help you. But don't tell anyone.

Ene, please get me some bustard feathers fallen from a nest...

and I will help you, no kidding.

Where do we get bustards from ?

- If only we could... - You're wrong !

Dobrogea is full of bustards, and so is the Bărăgan Plain.

But you didn't go looking, you're lazy.

- Maybe they were turkeys. - Wrong, they were bustards.

- Bustards. - Bustards.

Anyway, what are you doing with the bustard feathers ?

I make potions for a happy return and long lasting love.

I was the one who brought Tarachiu's wife back to him... Damn her...

All right, I made a note.

Thank you very much. May you be loved by maids and wives alike.

What did the old witch want ?

Bustard feathers fallen from a nest.

- We ran away in a boat. - In a boat ?

- And how did you return ? - Barefoot.

I'd sold my shoes to go to for a stroll in Constanţa, on Navy Day.

What about you ? Where would you want to go ?

- If this flame of ours keeps on burning... - Gia !

The luggage ! Bigu needs help.

- What are you waiting for ? - Me too ?

Do you hear me, Dumitru Tarachiu,

I know what you're after.

You want to kick me out of the village.

This happened before, 15 years ago,

when uncle Filipescu's party membership card was stolen

and the man took off and never came back.

Well, it's not going to work with me. I'm staying put.

And tomorrow I'll brig Gia back, too.

That's it.

Enough is enough, right ?

All of us are masters of this village, not just Ene Lelea.

Hey, my shout ! I'm paying for those two shelves,

for eveyone to drink !

And I'm not doing it with stolen money, as you keep saying.

I'm going to put a spell on you, Bigu, your flesh will fall off.

I'm her own real mother...

How about when you forced her to marry Ene Lelea, were you a real mother then ?

Listen, real mother, what you did was ruin us all !

Me, Gia, Ene. Now leave me alone, I'm busy.

Tell me, Bigu, where did you take her ?

Ulmu !

Ulmu !

Ulmu, I'm not going to hurt you.

Ulmu, stay, I will not hurt you.

I just want to ask you something.

Take it, Bigu and sink it into the pig's throat !

Victor, did your president serve in the navy ?

Spot on.

He once bought me a glass of red at the Sea Spell bar.

Welcome !

Why all the fuss, since you came back anyway ?

I didn't come back, and I'll never come back to you !

You knew that I was going to leave you !

I never believed that you'd leave. I never believed that you'd leave.

- You made a fool out of me ! - And you made a fool out of me, too !

Out of revenge, you set Bigu up, to get him in jail !

I didn't do that.

I didn't do that !

You wrecked his vineyard !

You cut down his pine tree !

- Swear on your hand ? - I do: may my hand fall off !

- Swear on something else. - Want do you want me to swear on ?

Want do you want me to swear on ?

On the lamb you gave me on our wedding day.

I can't swear on the lamb.

Not on the lamb.

Look... the paperwork against Bigu.

Find another girl to take care of you.

Comrade president, a phone call for you.

Ever since you left, I've been searching for a god, to tell me why you did it.

You're a good man, and an even better cooperative president.

I kept my word, I bought you lacquered shoes.

I'll send them back to you, through someone.

I saw everything !

Once you've left him, he's dead for both of us.

Hello ? Hello ?

- Hello ? - Yes, it's me.

You finally came, Ene Lelea !

Ene Lelea, congratulations, my boy ! Congratulations from us !

- Do you know what you've done, man ? - Yes, yes.

Do you have any idea how good you guys are ?

You are on first place, in the county top, in all categories, my boy !

Congratulations. This is quite something. Well done ! Well done !

Aren't you saying anything, mister laureate ?

I knew I would render you speechless Just wait to see what you're in for.

The press, the television, the curious lot...

I'm proud of your people, comrade Ene Lelea.

And to show how fond I am of you,

I'm sending the whole village on a seaside holiday. Right away, do you hear me ?

- Do you hear me, Ene Lelea ? - Now ? In winter ?

Take your people, big and small, to the seaside.

Use whatever means of transport you have. Pack up some boats... and off you go !

Thank you.

Thank you.

You all love me !

Your legs go wobbly when you see me.

You've brought yourself another slut ?

- Miss... - Miss Vanda Eforie.

A real Miss ?

Miss !

Miss, is it true that Italians have hotter blood than our men ?

- I don't know. I like Northerners. - Americans have the ugliest women.

Those in the movies are purchased from other countries.

- Do they buy from us too ? - Of course.

Sell Nuţica to them !

Bloody devil ! You've got nothing but Ene Lelea on your mind !

He'll never take you, he'll wait for Gia for a thousand years !

Comrade commander, the convict should go back to jail.

He attacked me with a knife, like a criminal,

as payback for my part in the inventory committee.

How could I not be there, comrade commander ?

He shouted drinks for everyone but didn't pay a single coin from his own pocket.

Forget it, he obviously didn't stab you, he stabbed a pig.

Lucky the pig's neck was in his way !

Forget it, Ulmu, it's no longer necessary.

No longer necessary ?

You don't throw a man in jail over a couple of words.

- No longer necessary ? - No.

I came to tell you to keep watch over the village,

'cause we're all going to the seaside.

In this weather ?

- Comrade president, the ships are coming ! - Look, comrade president...

It capsized, meaning that the oranges belong to whoever collects them.

- So this was the surprise ! - Papa Leon, it's a Greek ship.

- It is green. - Indeed, man.

You look like a Finn. Would you allow me to kiss you ?

I should kiss you too, sailor, do you remember me ?

The Sea Spell bar,

the vino rosso,

the cane armchairs,

September, the grape harvest was on, at Murfatlar,

and you were sad, like you are now.

Are you looking for bustards, Ene ? They're gone.

Oranges, oranges for gentlemen and ladies !

Bring in the dough with oranges you go !

Greeks aren't good traders.

- If I were Greek... - You're not ?

I mean a genuine Greek, with orange orchards.

I'd've built myself ten castles in Romania.

You Romanians love stuffing yourselves with oranges.

Here you are, stuff your faces !

A thousand carts for Dobrogea.

A thousand carts for Moldova.

A thousand carts for Transylvania.

A thousand carts for Banat.

A thousand carts for Oltenia...

No ! Nothing for Oltenia.

They can turn blue like vinegar. I won't give them a zest until I hear

that sergeant I.V. Dumitrescu Fieraru has kicked the bucket.

Why ?

This charlatan made me do eight thousand push-ups in the army,

and he was from Craiova.

Uncle Tarachiu, your cookies have arrived, for the ball.

- We will be late for the ball. - We're not going to any ball.

Vili was right when he said: Nuţica, I would kiss your hair strand by strand,

and yet here you are, frying wild partridges downed by engineer Cristea.

If you mention Paradis one more time,

I'll sweep the floor with those hair strands he wants to kiss !

So Vili is good only when you need him.

This pest must disappear from here !

I knew it !

You made him cut down Bigu' pine tree and now you're kicking him out.

Right !

Come on, get dressed, make yourself pretty. We're going to the ball.

In big restaurants they only serve meals on warmed-up plates.

Tonight, the movie caravan presents two great international film stars:

Raj Kapoor and Nargis.

Attention, in tonight's program: two great international film stars...

... lady nature's, lady nature's ruler...

Tonight...

Tonight...

Tonight we have every right to be proud.

We are the richest cooperative in the county.

You've all received your financial entitlements

and your well-deserved share of the produce.

To the elderly we will distribute medicinal plants next week,

as we had a rich harvest.

To the girls we've distributed daisies and chrysanthemums

grown in our glasshouse.

Let's sprinkle them with barley, so that they get married by autumn.

As for engineer Cristea, let's sprinkle him with hemp seeds

as he's been laughing with no reason all day long !

Ene, son, you don't believe in spells, but I've done the turn back spell

and she will return to you, maybe as soon as tonight.

Comrade president,

esteemed miss telephone operator,

esteemed leadership and beautiful gathering !

This new magic trick will be accessible to you after my short, efficient lesson

which I'm presenting free of charge.

Let him, I like it.

You all know the trick with the pigeon.

An empty plate, as you can see. And I place a hat over here.

And now the pigeon.

Attention, the film is about to start.

Blow, blow... Thank you.

If you didn't succeed, keep practicing at home !

Listen...

Get your coat and come outside. I want to test my skill.

Vili !

- Vili ! - Yes.

- Was it you who cut down the pine ? - Yes.

- Why ? - To avenge you.

You avenged me, thank you.

- Look, do you see that road ? - I do.

You take it, and never come back here again !

I must go.

All right, but why ?

I told Munteanu that we finished the work and I lied.

If we hadn't ploughed the military airfield,

we wouldn't have exceeded our production quotas.

You're crazy.

But if you must go, better go and write your autobiography.

So, we've already met, you and I, right ?

Yes, during my army service, when my head was completely shaved.

I want you to dance with me tonight. You owe me a dance.

Later, now I'm busy.

Ene, you haven't even looked at me tonight.

You go first.

Along the road with lonely poplars

I often passed

My neighbors all knew me, You never did

At you shining window I look so often

The whole wide world understood, You never did.

You came, Gia ?

I'm sorry, but I have work to do.

I have to go ploughing.

I'm here to follow up a complaint, you know...

Yes, but...

I'd like to talk to 2-3 people from the village.

Sure, but you can't just leave without seeing our achievements.

Yes.

I'm going over, to the county,

to see why these people keep cursing me.

- I'll assess the situation... - Dragomir, I didn't think you'd be so...

The world has turned upside down. The factory sells bent nails.

- What do these people hold against me ? - The president's wife is stolen.

The year 2000 is coming,

which no one will live to see.

Why are they cursing me ?

Listen, I see that you know everything, what kind of person is your president ?

Our president is Ene Lelea.

Precisely.

Tell me please, what kind of person is your president ?

- What film are you showing ? - "The Vagabond".

- What film are you showing ? - "The Vagabond".

You look like a Spaniard. Can I kiss you ?

What do you rascals want from him ? Go to hell !

- Go home, Dragomir ! - I'm going to the county, not home.

Is this what they teach you at school ? To smear the artists' work ?

Hello !

Comrade, what's he like, your president ?

Our president is a tyrant and he's dumb, comrade.

- And otherwise ? - Otherwise...

Otherwise we're meant to rise up and go to sleep in the wheat fields, comrade !

Sofica !

Sofica !

- Have you seen Sofica, comrade ? - I haven't.

Where on earth could she be ? I can't find her anywhere.

Comrade, I had a goat and I lost her, I can't find her.

And I miss her so much.

She held her little nose at my pocket, never left my side.

I don't know what to do without her. I don't know what to do without her.

Subtitling – ANIŞOARA ANGHEL www.empire.ro