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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,896 --> 00:00:09,616 - Hey, folks, and welcome back to the ALB Game of the Week. 2 00:00:09,689 --> 00:00:11,519 Calvin Turner here with Gil Jones. 3 00:00:11,586 --> 00:00:13,586 - Good to be here, Cal. - And we're coming to you 4 00:00:13,655 --> 00:00:15,995 from a chilly afternoon in Columbus, Ohio. 5 00:00:16,068 --> 00:00:18,308 Right fielder Manny Molina set to lead off 6 00:00:18,379 --> 00:00:20,829 the bottom of the fifth with Mackavey pitching. 7 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,756 Molina's hitting .282 this season. 8 00:00:22,827 --> 00:00:24,447 Much higher average than last year at this time. 9 00:00:24,517 --> 00:00:27,717 But he has fewer RBIs with 28. 10 00:00:27,793 --> 00:00:29,413 - Funny how that works sometimes. 11 00:00:29,482 --> 00:00:31,662 - Hey, you know, every player has his own batting ritual 12 00:00:31,724 --> 00:00:33,594 and Manny is no exception. 13 00:00:33,655 --> 00:00:35,205 You gotta wonder if his average would suffer 14 00:00:35,275 --> 00:00:37,275 if he made any changes to this one. 15 00:00:37,344 --> 00:00:38,834 - You're absolutely right, Cal. 16 00:00:38,896 --> 00:00:40,206 You see, when your batting ritual works for you, 17 00:00:40,275 --> 00:00:41,615 you don't change it. 18 00:00:41,689 --> 00:00:44,759 - No, you don't. It's almost a superstition. 19 00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,857 Manny's two for nine in his career against Mackavey. 20 00:00:46,931 --> 00:00:49,451 They're both from Florida, interestingly. 21 00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,827 - Now here's the part of Molina's ritual 22 00:00:51,896 --> 00:00:53,236 where he runs around the bases 23 00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:55,760 and touches each base with his bat. 24 00:00:55,827 --> 00:00:57,547 - For those just joining us, we're tied at two 25 00:00:57,620 --> 00:00:59,410 at the bottom of the fifth here at Purdy Stadium. 26 00:00:59,482 --> 00:01:01,072 Manny Molina at bat. 27 00:01:01,137 --> 00:01:03,827 And time has no meaning. 28 00:01:03,896 --> 00:01:06,826 [cool percussive music] 29 00:01:06,896 --> 00:01:13,686 ♪ ♪ 30 00:01:16,793 --> 00:01:19,283 - I'm sorry, I don't know how to get this stupid filter off. 31 00:01:19,344 --> 00:01:20,764 - It's totally fine. 32 00:01:20,827 --> 00:01:22,167 Um, let's get back to the interview. 33 00:01:22,241 --> 00:01:23,861 The "City College Daily Blog" 34 00:01:23,931 --> 00:01:25,551 is really excited to publish this profile on you, Arturo. 35 00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:27,340 - Well, I'm very excited to come in 36 00:01:27,413 --> 00:01:29,523 and start the students on commedia dell'arte. 37 00:01:29,586 --> 00:01:31,996 After all, it was my main focus in drama school. 38 00:01:32,068 --> 00:01:33,968 It is I, Scaramouche-- - Okay, um, 39 00:01:34,034 --> 00:01:35,554 I think we've got enough of that. 40 00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:37,340 - I don't think that's possible. 41 00:01:37,413 --> 00:01:40,033 - Now, if I'm not mistaken, and I don't think I am, 42 00:01:40,103 --> 00:01:42,073 it started in 16th century Italy. 43 00:01:42,137 --> 00:01:44,517 Theater history was also sort of a passion of mine. 44 00:01:44,586 --> 00:01:45,926 - That's really cool, I don't think we're 45 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,760 gonna need any of that. 46 00:01:47,827 --> 00:01:49,477 Is there anything else that you can tell me? 47 00:01:49,551 --> 00:01:51,551 Like, did you always want to be an actor-- 48 00:01:52,620 --> 00:01:54,860 - Uh--I think you--you froze. 49 00:01:54,931 --> 00:01:56,721 Oh no, shit, that's a filter again. 50 00:01:56,793 --> 00:01:58,003 Oh. Another filter. 51 00:01:58,068 --> 00:01:59,928 God--stop it! Hello? 52 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,720 - Hello? --can hear you now. 53 00:02:01,793 --> 00:02:03,523 - Have I always wanted to be an actor, well... 54 00:02:03,586 --> 00:02:04,896 I guess you could say I'm a bit of a dreamer. 55 00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:06,545 - Wait, you're a Dreamer? 56 00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:08,450 - Mm-hmm. - Well, tell--more. 57 00:02:08,517 --> 00:02:11,067 - Well, I've just... always dreamt of telling stories. 58 00:02:11,137 --> 00:02:12,967 - Sorry, I didn't catch any of that last bit. 59 00:02:13,034 --> 00:02:16,004 When did you first come here? - Um, I was just a kid. 60 00:02:16,068 --> 00:02:19,688 My mom took me to see my first Broadway play, but we lost our 61 00:02:19,758 --> 00:02:21,898 tickets at intermission so we had to sneak in the back. 62 00:02:21,965 --> 00:02:23,785 Ha! So rebellious of us. 63 00:02:23,862 --> 00:02:26,722 - Sorry, I just heard you and your mom snuck in. 64 00:02:26,793 --> 00:02:28,623 - Mm-hmm. - You are so brave. 65 00:02:28,689 --> 00:02:30,619 I think we're about out of time but thank you so much. 66 00:02:30,689 --> 00:02:32,829 - Okay, bye-bye. 67 00:02:34,758 --> 00:02:35,718 That went well. 68 00:02:35,793 --> 00:02:38,103 [ominous tone] 69 00:02:38,172 --> 00:02:39,172 Oh, no. 70 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,520 Oh, no. 71 00:02:41,586 --> 00:02:44,996 [cool percussive music] 72 00:02:46,137 --> 00:02:47,827 - You should just pick something. 73 00:02:47,896 --> 00:02:49,926 - I can't decide. There's so many options. 74 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,170 It's like, who even watches all this stuff? 75 00:02:52,241 --> 00:02:54,551 - How about "Flip My Aquarium"? 76 00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:57,100 Oh, God, never mind. - Yeah, that sounds terrible. 77 00:02:57,172 --> 00:03:00,762 - How about this? "Britain's Smallest Pies." 78 00:03:00,827 --> 00:03:03,307 That sounds... fine? 79 00:03:03,379 --> 00:03:05,379 - Sure. Try it out. 80 00:03:05,448 --> 00:03:06,898 [dramatic music] 81 00:03:06,965 --> 00:03:08,855 - Fuck! 82 00:03:08,931 --> 00:03:10,591 We've got a live one, people! - What is it this time, boss? 83 00:03:10,655 --> 00:03:11,925 - Someone clicked on the tiny fuckin' pie show. 84 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,100 - Why would someone click on that? 85 00:03:13,172 --> 00:03:14,142 - I don't know why, but they did. 86 00:03:14,206 --> 00:03:15,516 And it's not real, 87 00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,716 so we need to make up something quick. Go on! 88 00:03:17,793 --> 00:03:19,453 [music stops] - I'm sorry, what are we doing? 89 00:03:19,517 --> 00:03:21,477 - Your first day? 90 00:03:21,551 --> 00:03:24,031 Buckle up, kid. 91 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:27,143 - The majority of shows and movies on Netflix are fake. 92 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:29,546 Just catchy titles with nice-looking graphic boxes 93 00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:31,380 so it looks like we have all the shows in the world. 94 00:03:31,448 --> 00:03:32,968 - Yeah, they're padding for real shows 95 00:03:33,034 --> 00:03:34,834 like "Stranger Things" and "Frasier." 96 00:03:34,896 --> 00:03:36,236 So whenever somebody clicks on one of these 97 00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:38,280 fake bullshit titles like "Britain's Smallest Pies" 98 00:03:38,344 --> 00:03:41,554 or "Battery Hoarders" or "Santa Clarita Diet," 99 00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:43,830 we have to slap something together real quick. 100 00:03:43,896 --> 00:03:44,996 All right, come on, people! 101 00:03:45,068 --> 00:03:46,588 We can't buffer forever, let's go! 102 00:03:46,655 --> 00:03:47,655 Lena. - What? 103 00:03:47,724 --> 00:03:49,174 - Get the pie! - Pie? 104 00:03:49,241 --> 00:03:50,791 - Get the pie! - Where, where? 105 00:03:50,862 --> 00:03:52,212 - From the pie closet! - What? 106 00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,165 - Smallest pie you find! - Okay, I'll find it! 107 00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:02,240 Boss? We've got a pie. 108 00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:03,830 - Great! Now put it down! 109 00:04:03,896 --> 00:04:04,896 - We're ready for your voiceover. 110 00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:06,895 - Perfect. 111 00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:10,142 - I'm sorry, are you British? - Huh? 112 00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,786 - Are you a pie? 113 00:04:11,862 --> 00:04:13,722 Then get out of the shot! Get out of the shot. 114 00:04:13,793 --> 00:04:15,033 All right. Everybody quiet down. 115 00:04:15,103 --> 00:04:16,793 Everybody quiet down. 116 00:04:16,862 --> 00:04:21,862 We're going live in three, two, one. 117 00:04:21,931 --> 00:04:23,171 [in British accent] Pies come in all 118 00:04:23,241 --> 00:04:24,451 shapes and sizes. 119 00:04:24,517 --> 00:04:25,657 But in this show 120 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,384 they're all small. 121 00:04:27,448 --> 00:04:28,828 Join us as we take 122 00:04:28,896 --> 00:04:31,856 a look at some of Britain's smallest pies. 123 00:04:31,931 --> 00:04:33,381 - This is it? 124 00:04:33,448 --> 00:04:35,718 This is boring as shit. - Yeah, I thought it was going 125 00:04:35,793 --> 00:04:37,593 to be like a competition or something? 126 00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:42,305 - No competition here. It's just... this. 127 00:04:42,379 --> 00:04:44,969 [dramatic musical flourish] - Oh, thank God! 128 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,764 They turned it off. - Great work, everyone. 129 00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:48,207 Great work! 130 00:04:48,275 --> 00:04:49,925 - Uh, boss. 131 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:50,930 You're going to want to see this. 132 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,170 [dramatic music resumes] 133 00:04:52,241 --> 00:04:53,661 - Now what? - The same couple. 134 00:04:53,724 --> 00:04:55,034 Now they're hovering over a title called 135 00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:57,003 "Big Pointy Houses." Looks like they're deciding 136 00:04:57,068 --> 00:04:58,238 between that and "The Shrimp Whisperer." 137 00:04:58,310 --> 00:05:00,000 - The fuck is wrong with these people? 138 00:05:00,068 --> 00:05:02,238 Why can't they watch "Stranger Things" or "Frasier" 139 00:05:02,310 --> 00:05:03,660 like normal people? - [sighs] 140 00:05:03,724 --> 00:05:05,384 - Okay. 141 00:05:05,448 --> 00:05:07,898 We have to prepare for both contingencies. 142 00:05:07,965 --> 00:05:09,545 - Martinez, find me stock footage 143 00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,790 of the biggest, pointiest houses you can. Go! 144 00:05:11,862 --> 00:05:12,932 Jackson, call that guy you know, 145 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:13,930 the one with the shrimp boat. 146 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,140 Go, go, go, go! 147 00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:16,616 - What if we don't have enough time for that? 148 00:05:16,689 --> 00:05:18,589 - We'll just play something else. Pretend it's a glitch. 149 00:05:18,655 --> 00:05:20,545 A real show. I don't know, like "Frasier." 150 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,480 [beep] - Crisis averted, sir. 151 00:05:22,551 --> 00:05:25,281 They picked "Black Mirror." - Oh, thank God. 152 00:05:25,344 --> 00:05:26,724 That was close. [bell rings] 153 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,453 - Oh, no. - What? 154 00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:30,827 - Some guy in Minnesota just pressed play on 155 00:05:30,896 --> 00:05:32,066 "Santa Clarita Diet"! 156 00:05:32,137 --> 00:05:34,997 [intense dramatic music] 157 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,208 - Okay. 158 00:05:36,275 --> 00:05:37,335 Get me Drew Barrymore! 159 00:05:37,413 --> 00:05:39,933 [bestial growls] 160 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,310 [roars] 161 00:05:42,379 --> 00:05:43,759 - Why is she so mad? 162 00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:45,997 - She's been down here for two seasons. 163 00:05:46,068 --> 00:05:48,658 [animalistic bellows] 164 00:05:50,344 --> 00:05:52,214 You know what? Let's just play "Frasier." 165 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,030 [cool percussive music] 166 00:05:59,103 --> 00:06:00,593 ♪ ♪ 167 00:06:00,655 --> 00:06:03,755 - "Arturo Castro, the highest-profile person 168 00:06:03,827 --> 00:06:05,827 to publicly come out as a DACA Dreamer." 169 00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:07,336 Why do they think you're a Dreamer? 170 00:06:07,413 --> 00:06:08,933 - Because she asked me why I wanted to be an actor 171 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,340 and I said I've always been a bit of a dreamer, you know? 172 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:13,003 But the connection was really terrible, 173 00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,858 and I think that's the only part she heard. 174 00:06:14,931 --> 00:06:16,691 But I meant like "Les Mis" "I Dreamed A Dream" dreamer. 175 00:06:16,758 --> 00:06:17,898 Not DACA Dreamer. 176 00:06:17,965 --> 00:06:19,615 - I have dreams. - Nobody cares, Chris. 177 00:06:19,689 --> 00:06:21,279 - Okay... 178 00:06:21,344 --> 00:06:23,074 Listen, capital-D Dreamers are going through hell 179 00:06:23,137 --> 00:06:25,167 right now and my journey to this country, 180 00:06:25,241 --> 00:06:28,721 while also quite noble, is slightly different. 181 00:06:28,793 --> 00:06:30,723 - You came here economy comfort on Delta. 182 00:06:30,793 --> 00:06:32,593 - I was in a middle seat and it was really chilly. 183 00:06:32,655 --> 00:06:34,025 - Look, I don't see what the problem is. 184 00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:35,623 I mean, some student thinks that you're a Dreamer? 185 00:06:35,689 --> 00:06:37,589 Psh, I say go with it. - Seaton, I would never pretend 186 00:06:37,655 --> 00:06:38,685 to be something I'm not. 187 00:06:38,758 --> 00:06:40,068 - That's literally your job! 188 00:06:40,137 --> 00:06:41,687 You're an actor; you make a living 189 00:06:41,758 --> 00:06:43,168 pretending to be something you're not. 190 00:06:43,241 --> 00:06:44,521 But, Seaton might be right. 191 00:06:44,586 --> 00:06:45,856 Nobody reads student blogs. 192 00:06:45,931 --> 00:06:47,831 - [sigh] You know, you're right. 193 00:06:47,896 --> 00:06:49,066 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This story just got 194 00:06:49,137 --> 00:06:50,587 picked up by HuffPo. 195 00:06:50,655 --> 00:06:52,615 Internet's fast, man. 196 00:06:52,689 --> 00:06:54,169 - [yelps] 197 00:06:54,241 --> 00:06:56,381 No! man: What the hell? 198 00:06:56,448 --> 00:06:58,138 Okay, no, I've got to tell them the truth. 199 00:06:58,206 --> 00:06:59,996 I've got to clear this up. - Look, man. 200 00:07:00,068 --> 00:07:01,758 If you do some kind of retraction now, 201 00:07:01,827 --> 00:07:02,997 that's going to be worse than doing nothing at all. 202 00:07:03,068 --> 00:07:05,448 And you're not technically lying. 203 00:07:05,517 --> 00:07:06,547 - Plus you look good in the picture. 204 00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:08,070 - You know what? I'm going to focus 205 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:09,407 on the commedia workshop and it's going to be 206 00:07:09,482 --> 00:07:10,862 so amazing that that's all they'll talk about. 207 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,721 - Yeah, that's the spirit. - Oh, Jen, you're still 208 00:07:12,793 --> 00:07:14,033 helping me with the presentation, right? 209 00:07:14,103 --> 00:07:16,933 - Sure. What is up with all those dildoes? 210 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,760 - [chuckles] - Common misconception. 211 00:07:18,827 --> 00:07:20,857 They're not dildoes, Jen, they're phallic symbols 212 00:07:20,931 --> 00:07:23,241 used for costumes and props in commedia. 213 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,070 It's a very visual art. - Yeah, no. 214 00:07:25,137 --> 00:07:26,827 Those a bunch of dicks. 215 00:07:26,896 --> 00:07:28,166 [loud slam] - You know what? 216 00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:29,281 I'll be in my room. 217 00:07:29,344 --> 00:07:30,764 Where there are no bullies. 218 00:07:30,827 --> 00:07:31,717 I'm very sorry about your phone. 219 00:07:31,793 --> 00:07:33,693 - I'm sure it's fine. 220 00:07:33,758 --> 00:07:35,788 - I'm sure it's not. 221 00:07:35,862 --> 00:07:37,242 - Be careful with your dicks, man. 222 00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:38,830 [cool percussive music] 223 00:07:38,896 --> 00:07:40,786 ♪ ♪ 224 00:07:40,862 --> 00:07:42,312 - In other news, a study says that 225 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,069 white people in the United States will 226 00:07:44,137 --> 00:07:45,997 become the minority within 30 years. 227 00:07:46,068 --> 00:07:48,618 According to the report, Latinos and other minorities 228 00:07:48,689 --> 00:07:51,169 will make up the new majority by the year 2045. 229 00:07:51,241 --> 00:07:53,031 - Oh man, that's gonna be awesome. 230 00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:55,213 [chuckles] Wish I could be there now. 231 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:58,135 [powerful otherworldly sound] 232 00:08:00,758 --> 00:08:03,378 [peaceful music] 233 00:08:03,448 --> 00:08:06,898 ♪ ♪ 234 00:08:06,965 --> 00:08:08,825 No way. 235 00:08:08,896 --> 00:08:11,786 Excuse me, Miss. What year are we in? 236 00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:14,762 - It's 2045. And we're in power now. 237 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,377 - Oh, my God. - Come on. 238 00:08:16,448 --> 00:08:18,968 [whimsical music] - ♪ In 2045, ♪ 239 00:08:19,034 --> 00:08:20,664 ♪ We are the majority ♪ 240 00:08:20,724 --> 00:08:23,454 ♪ In 2045, we have the authority ♪ 241 00:08:23,517 --> 00:08:26,517 ♪ In 2045, it's a diversity explosion ♪ 242 00:08:26,586 --> 00:08:30,826 ♪ In 2045, Manhattan's in the ocean ♪ 243 00:08:30,896 --> 00:08:32,926 - [laughs] I'm s--I'm sorry, what was that about Manhattan? 244 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,830 - It's in the ocean now. Both coasts are. 245 00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:37,716 And Florida's just a teeny-tiny nub dick. 246 00:08:37,793 --> 00:08:39,033 - Oh. 247 00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,523 [stammers] Excuse me. 248 00:08:41,586 --> 00:08:44,616 ♪ In 2045, the sands have shifted in our favor ♪ 249 00:08:44,689 --> 00:08:47,209 ♪ In 2045, it's full of Latin flavor ♪ 250 00:08:47,275 --> 00:08:50,065 [Latin breakdown] 251 00:08:50,137 --> 00:08:53,447 - That's awesome. Look at that. 252 00:08:53,517 --> 00:08:56,237 ♪ In 2045, the Earth's depleted and worn ♪ 253 00:08:56,310 --> 00:09:00,790 ♪ And we all wish that we'd never been born ♪ 254 00:09:00,862 --> 00:09:02,692 - Is that a noose around your neck? 255 00:09:02,758 --> 00:09:04,028 What was that about the Earth? 256 00:09:04,103 --> 00:09:06,073 - Dude, did you think the study about minority 257 00:09:06,137 --> 00:09:08,967 demographics was the only study about the future? 258 00:09:09,034 --> 00:09:10,904 You should've read more studies, man! 259 00:09:10,965 --> 00:09:13,205 - I skim the headlines, man. 260 00:09:13,275 --> 00:09:16,205 ♪ There's no more oppression in 2045 ♪ 261 00:09:16,275 --> 00:09:19,375 ♪ No more microaggressions in 2045 ♪ 262 00:09:19,448 --> 00:09:22,098 ♪ There's no more animals in 2045 ♪ 263 00:09:22,172 --> 00:09:25,452 ♪ And no voter suppression in 2045 ♪ 264 00:09:25,517 --> 00:09:27,687 - I'm sorry, what was that about the animals? 265 00:09:27,758 --> 00:09:29,098 Like, like none at all, or...? 266 00:09:29,172 --> 00:09:30,792 [whimsical music becomes distant] 267 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:33,032 Oh, fuck. 268 00:09:33,103 --> 00:09:36,103 [apocalyptic thunder] 269 00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:40,313 Whoa... guys... 270 00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:43,169 ♪ In 2045 the air is harmfully volcanic ♪ 271 00:09:43,241 --> 00:09:46,141 ♪ The good news is the country is about a third Hispanic ♪ 272 00:09:46,206 --> 00:09:47,446 ♪ And 90% black ♪ 273 00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:49,167 - Is it actually that? - Uh... 274 00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:50,901 ♪ No, I'm talking about the water ♪ 275 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,855 ♪ If you drink it you will die ♪ 276 00:09:52,931 --> 00:09:55,171 - Sounds good to me! - No, no, no! Hey, hey! 277 00:09:55,241 --> 00:09:57,311 ♪ A million ways to die off ♪ 278 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:58,929 - She's really fucking dead! Don't step on over here! 279 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,030 ♪ More power to you and me ♪ 280 00:10:01,103 --> 00:10:02,933 ♪ But when I say "power" that's just an expression ♪ 281 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,140 - This is not cool, man! 282 00:10:04,206 --> 00:10:08,896 ♪ There's no electricity ♪ 283 00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:10,715 ♪ When the world has gone to shit ♪ 284 00:10:10,793 --> 00:10:12,143 - Can you put me down, please? 285 00:10:12,206 --> 00:10:14,406 - ♪ Who cares about elections ♪ 286 00:10:14,482 --> 00:10:17,862 ♪ We spend all our time getting chased by mutants ♪ 287 00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:22,171 ♪ And unable to get erections ♪ 288 00:10:22,241 --> 00:10:23,761 - Did you say "mutants?" - Yes! 289 00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:25,027 They're fast too. 290 00:10:25,103 --> 00:10:26,723 - So is it just me on the erection thing? 291 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,213 - Oh my God, here comes one now! 292 00:10:28,275 --> 00:10:30,135 [growling] 293 00:10:30,206 --> 00:10:31,756 - I just think I'm the only one willing to talk about it. 294 00:10:31,827 --> 00:10:33,027 - White people hogged all the good years, man! 295 00:10:33,103 --> 00:10:35,413 - [snarling] - No! Stop it! 296 00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:40,281 ♪ In 2085, we will have the majority ♪ 297 00:10:40,344 --> 00:10:43,174 ♪ In 2085, we will have the authority ♪ 298 00:10:43,241 --> 00:10:46,241 ♪ In 2085, you'll wonder where those humans went ♪ 299 00:10:46,310 --> 00:10:52,000 ♪ In 2085, we'll have a mutant president ♪ 300 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,208 [thunder] 301 00:10:53,275 --> 00:10:55,205 [cool percussive music] 302 00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:57,025 ♪ ♪ 303 00:10:57,103 --> 00:11:00,173 - Welcome back to the ALB Game of the Week. 304 00:11:00,241 --> 00:11:02,001 If you're just joining us, there are no outs 305 00:11:02,068 --> 00:11:04,338 in the bottom of the 5th and Manny Molina 306 00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,313 still getting ready to bat. 307 00:11:06,379 --> 00:11:08,339 - Now, Cal, this is probably my favorite part 308 00:11:08,413 --> 00:11:09,763 of Manny's batting ritual. 309 00:11:09,827 --> 00:11:10,997 - Oh, yes. 310 00:11:11,068 --> 00:11:12,858 Yes, bringing out the accountant. 311 00:11:12,931 --> 00:11:15,211 Manny always likes to go over his personal finances 312 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,375 with a certified public accountant before each pitch. 313 00:11:17,448 --> 00:11:18,968 I guess it gives him some peace of mind up there. 314 00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:20,414 - Hey, if it works, it works. 315 00:11:21,206 --> 00:11:22,586 - Oh boy. Molina looks like he's unhappy 316 00:11:22,655 --> 00:11:24,305 with some of the receipts. 317 00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:26,379 - Well, you know the old saying, Cal. 318 00:11:26,448 --> 00:11:29,788 There are two certainties in life: death and taxes. 319 00:11:29,862 --> 00:11:32,692 - [laughs] You are so right, Gil. 320 00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,548 Well, now it appears that Manny 321 00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,310 doesn't like the feel of his bat. 322 00:11:36,379 --> 00:11:38,309 Looks like he's going to switch it up. 323 00:11:38,379 --> 00:11:40,379 It's all about feeling comfortable up there, Gil. 324 00:11:40,448 --> 00:11:42,028 - Absolutely. 325 00:11:42,103 --> 00:11:44,343 - Now, Manny's coming off a fantastic spring training 326 00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,763 where he hit over .300. 327 00:11:45,827 --> 00:11:47,967 Columbus really got lucky with this trade. 328 00:11:48,034 --> 00:11:49,524 - Oh, they sure did. 329 00:11:49,586 --> 00:11:51,376 Although right now it looks like Molina isn't happy 330 00:11:51,448 --> 00:11:53,308 with any of the bats here, 331 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,759 so he's gonna carve a new one, Cal. 332 00:11:54,827 --> 00:11:57,757 Now this is gonna be the 848th bat that Manny 333 00:11:57,827 --> 00:11:59,167 has crafted this season. 334 00:11:59,241 --> 00:12:00,661 And I want to say thanks to the stat team 335 00:12:00,724 --> 00:12:02,554 for the heads-up on that one. 336 00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:04,550 - And while Manny's crafting his new bat, 337 00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:05,970 let's take a break. 338 00:12:06,034 --> 00:12:07,834 For eternity. - Sounds good to me, Cal. 339 00:12:07,896 --> 00:12:09,926 [cool percussive music] 340 00:12:12,896 --> 00:12:15,966 [cool percussive music] 341 00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:17,904 - Hello, City College student body. 342 00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:20,515 Please give a warm welcome for Arturo Castro. 343 00:12:20,586 --> 00:12:23,406 [applause] 344 00:12:23,482 --> 00:12:25,792 [renaissance music plays] 345 00:12:25,862 --> 00:12:27,762 [cheering] 346 00:12:27,827 --> 00:12:30,827 - Buongiorno! Buongiorno. 347 00:12:30,896 --> 00:12:33,026 [applause] 348 00:12:33,103 --> 00:12:34,763 ♪ ♪ 349 00:12:34,827 --> 00:12:38,097 - May I present my assistente, Arlecchino. 350 00:12:38,172 --> 00:12:39,972 [applause] 351 00:12:40,034 --> 00:12:42,144 [music box plays] 352 00:12:42,206 --> 00:12:44,966 Now today we will explore the dark-- 353 00:12:45,034 --> 00:12:46,284 ooooh! 354 00:12:46,344 --> 00:12:49,174 The devilish-- [trills tongue] 355 00:12:49,241 --> 00:12:51,551 And, dare I say, delicious 356 00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:55,450 art form of commedia dell'arte. 357 00:12:55,517 --> 00:12:57,617 [applause] 358 00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,029 Get out of my light. Get out of my light. 359 00:12:59,103 --> 00:13:00,863 - Okay, okay. - We love you, Arturo! 360 00:13:00,931 --> 00:13:05,341 - Oh, Arturo is not here! There is only Pantalone. 361 00:13:05,413 --> 00:13:08,173 But I'm sure Arturo appreciates the sentiment. 362 00:13:08,241 --> 00:13:11,381 - We support you and all the Dreamers! 363 00:13:11,448 --> 00:13:14,308 - What? - Th-the DACA Dreamers? 364 00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:15,929 We support you. 365 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,590 - Can we please put the house lights up? 366 00:13:19,827 --> 00:13:21,997 Oh, fuck. 367 00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:24,448 I-I mean Pantalone says... 368 00:13:24,517 --> 00:13:26,067 Oh, fuck. 369 00:13:26,137 --> 00:13:28,097 Oh, okay, stop the music. I-I can't do this. 370 00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:30,972 - Yes, you can! - We love you, Arturo! 371 00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:32,384 - Yeah, we believe in you. 372 00:13:32,448 --> 00:13:34,098 Even if we're confused about 373 00:13:34,172 --> 00:13:36,482 what specifically you're doing right now. 374 00:13:36,551 --> 00:13:39,001 - Guys, th-there's been a major miscommunication, I... 375 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,338 [exhales] 376 00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:41,483 I'm not a Dreamer. 377 00:13:41,551 --> 00:13:43,241 [crowd murmuring] - Wait, what? 378 00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:46,100 They only printed that because I said I was a dreamer. 379 00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:47,482 Man, now that I say it out loud 380 00:13:47,551 --> 00:13:49,281 it seems like I'm saying like, "Dreamer," 381 00:13:49,344 --> 00:13:51,524 but I meant dreamer with, like, the lower case d. 382 00:13:51,586 --> 00:13:54,066 - So you're not a DACA kid? 383 00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:55,477 - Well, technically no. 384 00:13:55,551 --> 00:13:57,521 And by technically I mean not at all. 385 00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,856 [crowd gasps] 386 00:13:59,931 --> 00:14:01,591 Hey, I hear you, okay? 387 00:14:01,655 --> 00:14:03,275 But the DACA Dreamers, the ones that have to live 388 00:14:03,344 --> 00:14:06,004 in fear and fight for their basic human rights 389 00:14:06,068 --> 00:14:08,718 in this incredibly hostile political climate, 390 00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:11,383 they're the heroes, man. I'm just an actor. 391 00:14:11,448 --> 00:14:13,408 Who's classically trained. 392 00:14:13,482 --> 00:14:15,412 Have I worked with Ang Lee? Yes I have. 393 00:14:15,482 --> 00:14:18,832 - Rein it in. - Point is, shame on us. 394 00:14:18,896 --> 00:14:20,826 Shame on every one of us. 395 00:14:20,896 --> 00:14:22,926 - No, shame specifically on you. 396 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,310 - Okay, yeah. I can see that. 397 00:14:25,379 --> 00:14:28,209 But hey, we're all here already and I don't see why this 398 00:14:28,275 --> 00:14:30,715 presentation has to end. 399 00:14:30,793 --> 00:14:32,073 [echoing thump] [crowd gasps] 400 00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:33,587 It has to end. 401 00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:36,855 I-I see that now. Jen, please. 402 00:14:36,931 --> 00:14:38,311 Grab the phallus. - It's a dildo. 403 00:14:38,379 --> 00:14:39,619 - It's not a dildo, it's a phallus. 404 00:14:39,689 --> 00:14:41,479 - It's got two heads and two urethras. 405 00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:43,521 It's a dildo. - It's a phallus. 406 00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:49,000 [cool percussive music] 407 00:14:49,068 --> 00:14:51,998 [suspenseful music] 408 00:14:52,068 --> 00:14:54,588 - Okay, chief. Nice and easy. 409 00:14:54,655 --> 00:14:55,965 Now remember, 410 00:14:56,034 --> 00:14:57,724 anything I say, you say. 411 00:14:57,793 --> 00:14:59,453 We get him to admit possession of narcotics 412 00:14:59,517 --> 00:15:01,277 and we've got this scumbag. 413 00:15:01,344 --> 00:15:04,244 And we'll drop all the charges against you. 414 00:15:04,310 --> 00:15:07,280 ♪ ♪ 415 00:15:07,344 --> 00:15:09,174 - Vincent. - Eddie. 416 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,901 - All right, good to see you. - Now get him comfortable. 417 00:15:11,965 --> 00:15:14,025 Ask him how his weekend was. 418 00:15:14,103 --> 00:15:16,413 - How was your weekend? - I had a barbecue. 419 00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:19,282 My wife's family came over. Ate all my food. 420 00:15:19,344 --> 00:15:20,834 - [chuckles] Yeah. - Good, good, good. 421 00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:22,516 Got him right where we want him. 422 00:15:22,586 --> 00:15:24,966 - Then my girlfriend, she takes me to a 423 00:15:25,034 --> 00:15:28,104 Bruno fucking Mars concert. I hate that guy. 424 00:15:28,172 --> 00:15:30,862 He sounds like a dying pig. - I hear that. 425 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,341 All right, let's get down to business, huh? 426 00:15:33,413 --> 00:15:36,173 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Backtrack on that? 427 00:15:36,241 --> 00:15:38,171 Put that fucking bag down. 428 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:39,281 [dramatic pause in music] 429 00:15:39,344 --> 00:15:42,284 Tell him you like Bruno Mars. 430 00:15:42,344 --> 00:15:45,314 - Uh... - Everything all right? 431 00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:46,999 - Say it! 432 00:15:47,068 --> 00:15:50,208 - Uh, well, actually I-- I like Bruno Mars? 433 00:15:50,275 --> 00:15:52,065 - You do? You like that shit? 434 00:15:52,137 --> 00:15:54,307 He's nothing compared to Michael Jackson. 435 00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:56,655 - Okay! 436 00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:58,594 You can't compare that scumbag to Bruno Mars! 437 00:15:58,655 --> 00:16:01,545 Okay. You tell him... 438 00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:05,380 - Bruno Mars can out-sing, out-dance, 439 00:16:05,448 --> 00:16:09,448 and out-charisma MJ any day. 440 00:16:09,517 --> 00:16:11,337 - All right, now. You're starting to be 441 00:16:11,413 --> 00:16:14,243 a little disrespectful to the King of Pop. 442 00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:16,310 - I-I'm so sorry for what I'm about to say. 443 00:16:16,379 --> 00:16:17,719 - Oh yeah? 444 00:16:17,793 --> 00:16:19,623 [tense music] 445 00:16:19,689 --> 00:16:21,519 - You don't understand music at all. 446 00:16:21,586 --> 00:16:23,996 - Like you mean it! - You don't get music at all! 447 00:16:24,068 --> 00:16:25,588 - The fuck are you talking about? 448 00:16:25,655 --> 00:16:29,275 - I will... prove to you that Bruno's moves 449 00:16:29,344 --> 00:16:33,484 are more original. Or maybe I won't, please? 450 00:16:33,551 --> 00:16:35,281 Never mind, yes I will. 451 00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:36,484 Okay. 452 00:16:36,551 --> 00:16:38,311 I will prove it. Uh... 453 00:16:38,379 --> 00:16:41,519 Um, the... this is MJ. 454 00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:43,996 [tense music] 455 00:16:44,068 --> 00:16:46,518 - Put your hand up in the air and move your hips. 456 00:16:46,586 --> 00:16:49,516 Grab the crotch! He always grabs the crotch! 457 00:16:49,586 --> 00:16:50,926 - [very high pitched] Ow! 458 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,340 - Now you're Bruno Mars. Do not dare fuck this up. 459 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:56,243 - But Bruno is--is more like... 460 00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:58,240 ♪ ♪ 461 00:16:58,310 --> 00:16:59,690 - Yeah! 462 00:16:59,758 --> 00:17:01,308 Now pelvic thrust. 463 00:17:01,379 --> 00:17:05,029 ♪ ♪ 464 00:17:05,103 --> 00:17:06,073 - Tell him... 465 00:17:06,137 --> 00:17:08,407 - We are lucky to be alive 466 00:17:08,482 --> 00:17:10,212 while Bruno Mars is making music. 467 00:17:10,275 --> 00:17:11,545 - Hey, Eddie. 468 00:17:11,620 --> 00:17:13,760 I think it's time you sit the fuck down. 469 00:17:13,827 --> 00:17:15,237 - Yeah, okay. Okay. 470 00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:16,760 - The fuck's the matter with you? 471 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,027 - I'm sorry. But... 472 00:17:19,103 --> 00:17:20,383 I have to say to you... 473 00:17:20,448 --> 00:17:21,828 [heavy breathing] 474 00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:24,376 Anyone who doesn't like Bruno Mars... 475 00:17:26,586 --> 00:17:29,206 No. - Say it. 476 00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:32,445 - Anyone who doesn't like Bruno Mars has a head full of shit. 477 00:17:32,517 --> 00:17:34,207 - What are you, out of your fuckin' mind? 478 00:17:34,275 --> 00:17:37,065 - I-I'm out of my mind with love for Bruno. 479 00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:38,787 - Well that's fuckin' great. 480 00:17:38,862 --> 00:17:40,452 But I tell you what, 481 00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,517 I'm not going to let a million-dollar deal slide 482 00:17:42,586 --> 00:17:45,516 because some jerkoff's into Bruno Mars. 483 00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:47,826 - [whispering] Please don't say anything else about Bruno Mars. 484 00:17:47,896 --> 00:17:50,586 - You're the one that seems obsessed with him, all right? 485 00:17:50,655 --> 00:17:52,405 You know what? Here's my stuff. 486 00:17:52,482 --> 00:17:55,552 Where's yours? - Yes, yes. Let's do the deal. 487 00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:57,520 Great idea. - Let's do that. 488 00:17:57,586 --> 00:17:58,786 - Here's the cash. 489 00:17:58,862 --> 00:18:02,142 [grunts with effort] - Nice. 490 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,616 There's enough money in this bag 491 00:18:03,689 --> 00:18:05,899 where I could buy Bruno Mars some fuckin' talent. 492 00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:07,895 [door kicked open] - You take that back! 493 00:18:07,965 --> 00:18:10,275 - The hell's going on here? - What's going on here is that 494 00:18:10,344 --> 00:18:12,624 Bruno Mars is an artist in every sense of the word. 495 00:18:12,689 --> 00:18:15,309 Singer! Dancer! Lover! 496 00:18:15,379 --> 00:18:16,759 No, I haven't had sex with him yet. 497 00:18:16,827 --> 00:18:18,337 But I've thought about it a lot! 498 00:18:18,413 --> 00:18:20,103 [door kicked open] 499 00:18:20,172 --> 00:18:21,382 - What's going on here is Bruno Mars has no voice. 500 00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:22,788 And I'd rather have my eardrum punctured 501 00:18:22,862 --> 00:18:25,722 than listen to one more of his goddamn songs. 502 00:18:25,793 --> 00:18:28,283 [dramatic music building] 503 00:18:28,344 --> 00:18:30,484 - Wait, you guys are DEA? 504 00:18:30,551 --> 00:18:32,451 - And you two are... FBI? 505 00:18:32,517 --> 00:18:33,827 - Oh. - Oh my. 506 00:18:33,896 --> 00:18:35,306 - Oh wow. 507 00:18:35,379 --> 00:18:36,589 Awkward, wow. - I was going to shoot you. 508 00:18:36,655 --> 00:18:38,375 - I was surely going to kill him. 509 00:18:38,448 --> 00:18:40,138 - It was getting a little crazy there for a second. 510 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:41,686 [all sigh] 511 00:18:41,758 --> 00:18:44,338 - I guess... I guess we're good here. 512 00:18:44,413 --> 00:18:46,833 I mean, you don't actually hate Bruno Mars... right? 513 00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:50,206 - You don't actually... like him, do you? 514 00:18:50,275 --> 00:18:53,445 [dramatic music restarts] - I love Bruno Mars. 515 00:18:53,517 --> 00:18:55,207 [gunshots] 516 00:18:58,068 --> 00:18:59,828 - [relieved sigh] 517 00:19:02,758 --> 00:19:04,658 What's your opinion on Chris Brown? 518 00:19:04,724 --> 00:19:06,864 - Complete piece of shit. 519 00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:08,481 - I agree. Fuck that guy. 520 00:19:08,551 --> 00:19:10,341 [cool percussive music] 521 00:19:13,344 --> 00:19:16,344 [cool percussive music] 522 00:19:16,413 --> 00:19:18,793 ♪ ♪ 523 00:19:18,862 --> 00:19:20,342 - Oh, God. - Wow. 524 00:19:20,413 --> 00:19:22,523 They really did not like that you lied to them 525 00:19:22,586 --> 00:19:24,476 about how you immigrated into this country. 526 00:19:24,551 --> 00:19:26,831 - I know Jen, thank you. - I mean, it's a really 527 00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:29,236 bad time politically to lie about something like that. 528 00:19:29,310 --> 00:19:30,790 - I am aware. - I mean, how are you 529 00:19:30,862 --> 00:19:32,662 going to live with yourself after this? 530 00:19:32,724 --> 00:19:34,244 - Is there anything you've done that's super embarrassing 531 00:19:34,310 --> 00:19:35,790 that you talk about over and over and over again? 532 00:19:35,862 --> 00:19:37,452 - No, I'm--I'm a really good person. 533 00:19:37,517 --> 00:19:40,517 - Good for you. [knock on door] 534 00:19:40,586 --> 00:19:43,516 - Oh my God. I am so sorry. I thought there might have been 535 00:19:43,586 --> 00:19:45,166 a misunderstanding and I should have told you. 536 00:19:45,241 --> 00:19:46,761 I did not mean to screw that up. 537 00:19:46,827 --> 00:19:48,447 - No, it's actually a really good thing. 538 00:19:48,517 --> 00:19:49,857 I mean, because you're a liar we're actually getting 539 00:19:49,931 --> 00:19:51,311 a lot of attention towards a real issue. 540 00:19:51,379 --> 00:19:52,999 Which means instead of scheduling 541 00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:55,278 that commedia dell'arte crap we're going to have a real 542 00:19:55,344 --> 00:19:58,484 rally here next week. So, thank you. 543 00:19:58,551 --> 00:20:00,411 I mean fuck you. 544 00:20:00,482 --> 00:20:01,522 But also thank you. 545 00:20:01,586 --> 00:20:03,336 - Hey, you're welcome. 546 00:20:03,413 --> 00:20:05,343 That felt good. - She said, "Fuck you." 547 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,523 - Oh, you know, two thank yous minus one fuck you 548 00:20:07,586 --> 00:20:09,926 is still one thank you. - Mmm... that's bad math. 549 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,450 - Okay, just help me pack up the dildoes. 550 00:20:11,517 --> 00:20:14,067 - [gasps] - Phalluses. Phalluses! 551 00:20:14,137 --> 00:20:15,547 - No. Mm-mm. 552 00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:17,520 [cool percussive music] 553 00:20:17,586 --> 00:20:19,336 ♪ ♪ 554 00:20:19,413 --> 00:20:22,453 - Welcome back to the ALB Game of the Week. 555 00:20:22,517 --> 00:20:25,447 Manny Molina is just finishing crafting a new bat 556 00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,967 for his at-bat here in the bottom of the fifth. 557 00:20:28,034 --> 00:20:29,594 - And what a treat for the fans 558 00:20:29,655 --> 00:20:31,445 to see such fine craftsmanship. 559 00:20:31,517 --> 00:20:33,517 - You know, that's very true, Gil. 560 00:20:33,586 --> 00:20:36,476 Well, looks like Manny is happy with his work. 561 00:20:36,551 --> 00:20:40,001 So with a freshly crafted bat, he enters the batter's box. 562 00:20:40,068 --> 00:20:42,448 Bottom of the fifth with no outs. 563 00:20:42,517 --> 00:20:46,237 Mackavey set to deliver. Here's the pitch. 564 00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:50,450 Oh, it's in there for a called strike. 0-1 on Molina. 565 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,857 We're tied at two in the bottom of the fifth. 566 00:20:52,931 --> 00:20:54,861 It's gonna be a real duel, this one. 567 00:20:54,931 --> 00:20:56,761 - You know it, Gil. 568 00:20:56,827 --> 00:20:59,547 You can just feel the tension here at Purdy Stadium. 569 00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,310 You know, it's almost as if some of the fans 570 00:21:01,379 --> 00:21:02,859 have just realized 571 00:21:02,931 --> 00:21:05,521 they might not live to see the end of this game. 572 00:21:05,586 --> 00:21:07,476 - [chuckles] They definitely won't, Cal. 573 00:21:07,551 --> 00:21:10,031 None of us will. 574 00:21:10,081 --> 00:21:14,631 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42557

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