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1
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,241
[both speaking Spanish]
2
00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:24,551
- El Jefe will see you now.
Come with me.
3
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,280
El Jefe.
4
00:00:33,448 --> 00:00:36,408
I got the money.
You got the weapons?
5
00:00:36,448 --> 00:00:40,028
- If you want to talk to him,
you talk to me.
6
00:00:40,068 --> 00:00:41,238
- Oh, you're the translator?
7
00:00:45,758 --> 00:00:47,308
- No, you are the translator.
8
00:00:49,379 --> 00:00:51,339
- Okay.
I got the money.
9
00:00:53,379 --> 00:00:54,859
[coughs]
10
00:00:54,896 --> 00:00:56,236
Ay, perdón.
11
00:00:57,620 --> 00:00:58,900
- I didn't hear you.
You coughed.
12
00:00:58,931 --> 00:01:00,861
- No, I didn't.
I didn't cough, you coughed.
13
00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:04,930
- Stop saying that I coughed.
14
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:07,235
- You coughed when you spoke
to El Jefe.
15
00:01:09,896 --> 00:01:11,686
- Ah, translator,
what are you talking about?
16
00:01:14,620 --> 00:01:17,100
- Can I, uh,
try talking to him alone?
17
00:01:20,517 --> 00:01:22,447
- Yes, I will go.
18
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,412
- What?
No, no!
19
00:01:24,448 --> 00:01:26,098
Hey, I meant us!
20
00:01:30,551 --> 00:01:32,281
- Yes, come here.
21
00:01:34,724 --> 00:01:37,554
[tense music]
22
00:01:37,586 --> 00:01:42,546
♪
23
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:48,688
- Wait, I thought you wanted
to talk to me alone.
24
00:01:48,724 --> 00:01:50,004
- Yeah, exactly.
25
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,135
- Then come here.
26
00:01:55,206 --> 00:01:57,446
- No...
27
00:02:06,034 --> 00:02:11,144
Look, um, do you have the...
28
00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:13,142
How do you say, uh...
29
00:02:17,862 --> 00:02:18,902
- The weapons?
30
00:02:21,586 --> 00:02:22,996
- Weapons!
31
00:02:24,689 --> 00:02:26,899
- Weapons!
32
00:02:26,931 --> 00:02:28,451
Yes, weapons,
but what is las armas.
33
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,102
- You are the worst
fucking translator.
34
00:02:34,206 --> 00:02:35,616
- No, fuck you.
I'm not a translator!
35
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:38,275
- Not fuck him, fuck you!
36
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,281
Jefe, Jefe.
37
00:02:48,689 --> 00:02:50,999
- Whoa, whoa, wait.
- No, no, I'm on your side.
38
00:02:51,034 --> 00:02:52,524
Relax, okay?
Jefe...
39
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:55,825
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you telling him to kill me?
40
00:02:55,862 --> 00:02:57,552
- No, mata al Americano
is a word--
41
00:02:57,586 --> 00:02:59,136
It's a Guatemalan
rice dish, okay?
42
00:03:00,896 --> 00:03:02,616
- Okay, see,
that does sound like
43
00:03:02,655 --> 00:03:03,925
you're telling him
to shoot me.
44
00:03:03,965 --> 00:03:05,135
- No, no,
that's how you cook it.
45
00:03:05,172 --> 00:03:07,412
That's how--bam, bam, bam.
46
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:08,998
- Okay, he shoots me,
I shoot you.
47
00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:14,970
- Wait, do you mean
you or him?
48
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,550
- You!
- Ah.
49
00:03:17,586 --> 00:03:20,546
[intense music]
50
00:03:20,586 --> 00:03:23,616
♪
51
00:03:23,655 --> 00:03:25,405
[bird cooing]
52
00:03:26,793 --> 00:03:28,383
- Hoo-hoo.
53
00:03:28,413 --> 00:03:29,793
Pio-pio.
54
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,070
- I'm sorry.
55
00:03:45,103 --> 00:03:47,973
He's the worst fucking
translator.
56
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,000
- Oh.
57
00:03:50,034 --> 00:03:53,004
[cool percussive music]
58
00:03:53,034 --> 00:03:59,934
♪
59
00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:04,142
- It's so crazy
that you're from Guatemala.
60
00:04:04,172 --> 00:04:05,902
- Oh, crazy.
- Because I literally
61
00:04:05,931 --> 00:04:07,901
just got back
from a trip to Peru.
62
00:04:07,931 --> 00:04:10,281
- Okay.
63
00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:12,590
Oh, I-I've never been
to Peru, but...
64
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,760
- Oh.
- I love ceviche, though.
65
00:04:14,793 --> 00:04:17,173
- Yeah, same.
66
00:04:17,206 --> 00:04:18,686
- Great, okay.
67
00:04:18,724 --> 00:04:20,284
Would you excuse me
for a second?
68
00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:22,480
- Yeah, yeah.
- Cool.
69
00:04:22,517 --> 00:04:24,137
Cheers.
70
00:04:24,172 --> 00:04:25,792
- So I learned, never give
your mom a password.
71
00:04:25,827 --> 00:04:27,587
- Hey, can I talk to you
for a second?
72
00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:28,720
- Sure.
73
00:04:28,758 --> 00:04:30,308
- Do you think we can get
out of here soon, man?
74
00:04:30,344 --> 00:04:31,764
- Why?
We just got here.
75
00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:33,483
- Everybody wants to talk to me
about Latin America.
76
00:04:33,517 --> 00:04:34,967
- Oh.
- I just want to talk
77
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,240
about normal things like
my needlepoint hobby
78
00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:38,785
or something completely
different--
79
00:04:38,827 --> 00:04:40,827
like, cross-stitching
is so last year.
80
00:04:40,862 --> 00:04:43,312
- Yeah, look,
white people sometimes
81
00:04:43,344 --> 00:04:46,004
need to be...gently guided
away from their instincts.
82
00:04:46,034 --> 00:04:47,454
- Right.
- Like that girl over there.
83
00:04:47,482 --> 00:04:49,522
- She asked me
if I was so excited
84
00:04:49,551 --> 00:04:51,551
for the "Black Panther" sequel.
- Oh, that's messed up.
85
00:04:51,586 --> 00:04:52,996
But also, like, who isn't?
86
00:04:53,034 --> 00:04:55,034
- You know what?
You just got to play along
87
00:04:55,068 --> 00:04:57,588
and then pivot the conversation
to what you want to talk about.
88
00:04:57,620 --> 00:04:59,140
Play and pivot.
Two Ps.
89
00:04:59,172 --> 00:05:00,862
- Catchy.
- Yeah, man.
90
00:05:00,896 --> 00:05:02,476
Yeah, do you want to try it?
- No, man, I got this.
91
00:05:02,517 --> 00:05:03,547
- Yo, Seaton!
92
00:05:03,586 --> 00:05:04,966
- Yo, man.
How you doing?
93
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,620
- You hear that new
Drake single?
94
00:05:06,655 --> 00:05:08,375
- [laughs]
For sure.
95
00:05:08,413 --> 00:05:09,793
It's dope.
96
00:05:09,827 --> 00:05:12,587
But there's a theory
of why we all like it.
97
00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:14,240
It's that we all live
in a simulation,
98
00:05:14,275 --> 00:05:16,855
and we just exist for the
entertainment of our creators.
99
00:05:16,896 --> 00:05:19,236
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
100
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:20,785
- You just blew my mind.
101
00:05:20,827 --> 00:05:23,307
- No, Chad.
I just pivoted your mind.
102
00:05:26,655 --> 00:05:28,545
- Hey.
- Hi.
103
00:05:28,586 --> 00:05:30,096
- I'm Jennifer.
- Arturo.
104
00:05:30,137 --> 00:05:31,857
Nice to meet you.
- Oh, that's a beautiful name.
105
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:32,856
Where are you from?
106
00:05:32,896 --> 00:05:34,066
- Guatemala.
- No way!
107
00:05:34,103 --> 00:05:36,763
I'm getting my PhD
in Latin American Studies.
108
00:05:36,793 --> 00:05:38,483
- Oh, cool.
- Yeah.
109
00:05:38,517 --> 00:05:41,067
- Well, that reminds me of
a completely different subject.
110
00:05:41,103 --> 00:05:42,863
- Mm.
111
00:05:46,068 --> 00:05:48,208
- Latin America!
- [laughs]
112
00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:50,031
- It turned out to be the same
one that you were thinking of.
113
00:05:50,068 --> 00:05:51,028
- Yeah!
Oh, good.
114
00:05:51,068 --> 00:05:54,478
[cool percussive music]
115
00:05:54,517 --> 00:05:55,657
- And now a message
116
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,859
from the Department
of Homeland Security.
117
00:05:58,896 --> 00:06:02,136
- Hello, I'm ICE agent
Bryce J. Korn.
118
00:06:02,172 --> 00:06:05,002
Now, our main goal is to
protect the American people
119
00:06:05,034 --> 00:06:06,414
at all costs.
120
00:06:06,448 --> 00:06:08,208
But we understand
there's been some
121
00:06:08,241 --> 00:06:10,761
humanitarian concerns
over our methodology.
122
00:06:10,793 --> 00:06:13,313
Oof.
And we hear ya.
123
00:06:13,344 --> 00:06:15,794
That's why I'm proud to
announce that as of today,
124
00:06:15,827 --> 00:06:19,027
we will no longer be detaining
undocumented children in cages,
125
00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:22,378
and instead, we'll be
keeping them cage-free!
126
00:06:22,413 --> 00:06:24,973
The U.S. Government
is committed to stealing
127
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,720
and imprisoning
innocent children
128
00:06:26,758 --> 00:06:28,928
in the most
humane way possible.
129
00:06:28,965 --> 00:06:30,925
That's why the minute these
kids are ripped
130
00:06:30,965 --> 00:06:33,545
from their parents,
we put them on that field.
131
00:06:33,586 --> 00:06:35,586
There, they can
roam free-range.
132
00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:38,860
Running, playing,
just having a great time,
133
00:06:38,896 --> 00:06:40,896
with only a high-security
electrified fence
134
00:06:40,931 --> 00:06:42,171
at the perimeter
to confine them--
135
00:06:42,206 --> 00:06:43,756
for their protection.
136
00:06:43,793 --> 00:06:45,723
Just look at those happy
little buggers.
137
00:06:45,758 --> 00:06:48,518
[electrical zapping]
138
00:06:48,551 --> 00:06:50,551
And that's not all.
139
00:06:50,586 --> 00:06:53,236
We've heard your criticism
about the quality of food here.
140
00:06:53,275 --> 00:06:55,785
That's why we switched all
our cage-free children
141
00:06:55,827 --> 00:06:59,857
to a grass-fed diet, and they
can have as much as they want.
142
00:06:59,896 --> 00:07:02,616
Now, we've also read the
reports about health concerns
143
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:05,025
at our facilities,
so we'll be raising all our
144
00:07:05,068 --> 00:07:07,618
cage-free children with
absolutely no antibiotics.
145
00:07:07,655 --> 00:07:09,235
[chuckles]
146
00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:11,095
So quit it with
your negative press already,
147
00:07:11,137 --> 00:07:12,617
for crying out loud.
148
00:07:12,655 --> 00:07:14,335
With this new
cage-free program,
149
00:07:14,379 --> 00:07:16,659
these Latino children
separated from their parents,
150
00:07:16,689 --> 00:07:18,619
boy, they're healthier
and happier than ever.
151
00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,755
[chuckles]
152
00:07:20,793 --> 00:07:23,553
Mm...
153
00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:25,336
Still no eggs, though.
154
00:07:27,310 --> 00:07:30,760
[cool percussive music]
155
00:07:30,793 --> 00:07:32,693
- And that left behind
such a troubled--
156
00:07:32,724 --> 00:07:33,974
- Troubled legacy
for Guatemala.
157
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,210
I was just about to say that.
158
00:07:35,241 --> 00:07:36,831
You took the words
right out of my mouth, again.
159
00:07:36,862 --> 00:07:38,552
- We're just on the same
wavelength with this stuff.
160
00:07:38,586 --> 00:07:40,026
- Speaking of wavelengths,
161
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,858
what's your favorite...
162
00:07:44,103 --> 00:07:45,933
Length of wave?
163
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:46,965
- Do you mean--
164
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,590
- You guys talking
about Guatemala?
165
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:49,860
- Yes!
- No, no...
166
00:07:49,896 --> 00:07:51,446
- I actually just
got back from Peru.
167
00:07:51,482 --> 00:07:54,242
- Okay, Peru and Guatemala
don't have that much in common.
168
00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:56,715
- You guys, they're talking
about Peru over here, too.
169
00:07:56,758 --> 00:07:58,928
- No, uh--
Welcome.
170
00:07:58,965 --> 00:08:01,475
- We were just saying
we hope Vizcarra
171
00:08:01,517 --> 00:08:03,477
does better than
his predecessor.
172
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:04,787
- Arturo, as a Latin American,
173
00:08:04,827 --> 00:08:07,407
what do you think
about Vizcarra?
174
00:08:07,448 --> 00:08:09,618
- Vizcarra, I, um...
175
00:08:11,344 --> 00:08:13,174
- He's the president.
176
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,237
Of Peru.
- Peru, ha!
177
00:08:16,275 --> 00:08:17,755
Of Peru, yeah.
178
00:08:17,793 --> 00:08:19,213
Well, I'll tell you
one thing about him.
179
00:08:19,241 --> 00:08:22,971
You know, he lives
and works in Lima,
180
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,450
which is the capital,
which I know, so...
181
00:08:25,482 --> 00:08:27,762
- [mouthing word]
182
00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:30,553
- That reminds me of
a completely different subject.
183
00:08:32,482 --> 00:08:34,662
Montevideo is
the capital of Uruguay.
184
00:08:34,689 --> 00:08:36,139
- What about Uruguay?
185
00:08:36,172 --> 00:08:38,522
What do you think about
president Pepe Mujica?
186
00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:40,721
- Oh, guys, let's no open up
that can of worms.
187
00:08:40,758 --> 00:08:41,898
It's a party,
let's keep it light.
188
00:08:41,931 --> 00:08:43,141
Let's keep it light!
189
00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:44,522
- What do you mean?
190
00:08:44,551 --> 00:08:46,101
- No, I think Arturo
is onto something.
191
00:08:46,137 --> 00:08:47,307
Let those worms out.
192
00:08:47,344 --> 00:08:50,034
- [sighs] Oh, God.
I will very soon.
193
00:08:50,068 --> 00:08:53,208
But first, do you guys know
what time this party ends?
194
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:56,101
Like, is there a specific time?
- Don't think so.
195
00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:58,097
- Okay, well, let's
get back into it.
196
00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:00,447
- Sure, let's talk about the
Venezuelan oil industry, then.
197
00:09:00,482 --> 00:09:02,412
- Shit.
198
00:09:02,448 --> 00:09:05,028
[cool percussive music]
199
00:09:05,068 --> 00:09:08,028
[dramatic music]
200
00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:09,828
♪
201
00:09:09,862 --> 00:09:11,832
- [snapping fingers]
202
00:09:11,862 --> 00:09:14,342
♪
203
00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:15,999
[all snapping fingers]
204
00:09:16,034 --> 00:09:23,034
♪
205
00:09:24,241 --> 00:09:25,691
- Okay, Torches.
206
00:09:25,724 --> 00:09:28,934
You want a fair fight?
Come and get it.
207
00:09:28,965 --> 00:09:31,375
Let's turn it around, boys!
[laughing]
208
00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:32,413
all: [hissing]
209
00:09:32,448 --> 00:09:35,338
[jazz music plays]
210
00:09:35,379 --> 00:09:38,549
♪
211
00:09:38,586 --> 00:09:41,686
♪ We'll give you
a mean surprise ♪
212
00:09:41,724 --> 00:09:44,214
♪ We'll show you
we're up to size ♪
213
00:09:44,241 --> 00:09:47,381
♪ No tricks, no rumpus,
but if you try to jump us ♪
214
00:09:47,413 --> 00:09:49,003
♪ We'll give your head
a bump-us ♪
215
00:09:49,034 --> 00:09:51,764
♪ We're the Hornets
216
00:09:51,793 --> 00:09:54,073
[hissing]
217
00:09:54,103 --> 00:09:56,413
- What do you say to that,
Torches?
218
00:09:56,448 --> 00:09:58,518
all: [chanting]
You will not replace us!
219
00:09:58,551 --> 00:10:00,341
You will not replace us!
220
00:10:00,379 --> 00:10:02,099
You will not replace us!
221
00:10:02,137 --> 00:10:03,447
[tense music]
222
00:10:03,482 --> 00:10:04,552
- Oh.
223
00:10:04,586 --> 00:10:05,786
- Quick team meeting,
quick team meeting.
224
00:10:05,827 --> 00:10:07,167
Okay, um...
225
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:08,756
Okay, so it is feeling
like these guys have
226
00:10:08,793 --> 00:10:10,723
a very different approach
to this rumble than we do.
227
00:10:10,758 --> 00:10:12,618
So maybe we, like, cool it
on the whole singing
228
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:14,135
and dancing thing
for today, you know?
229
00:10:14,172 --> 00:10:15,972
- But, guys, we rehearsed
230
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,380
all day and night
for this rumble!
231
00:10:17,413 --> 00:10:19,173
- This is not a rumble, okay?
232
00:10:19,206 --> 00:10:20,716
That is a hate crime
waiting to happen.
233
00:10:20,758 --> 00:10:22,028
That's what that looks like.
234
00:10:22,068 --> 00:10:24,338
- But I want to do my move.
235
00:10:24,379 --> 00:10:25,859
- Stop it!
Stop it with your move!
236
00:10:25,896 --> 00:10:27,476
Today is not the day for moves!
237
00:10:27,517 --> 00:10:29,657
- Look, choncho,
you said it yourself.
238
00:10:29,689 --> 00:10:31,829
We have spirit.
- Yes.
239
00:10:31,862 --> 00:10:33,662
- Yeah.
- We have gusto.
240
00:10:33,689 --> 00:10:34,859
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
241
00:10:34,896 --> 00:10:36,476
- And no one can
take that away from us.
242
00:10:36,517 --> 00:10:37,927
- You're right.
243
00:10:37,965 --> 00:10:39,445
No one can
take that away from us.
244
00:10:39,482 --> 00:10:42,172
Okay, Hornets,
let's show them what we got.
245
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:45,406
all: ♪ Don't be surprised
if we get rough ♪
246
00:10:45,448 --> 00:10:48,928
♪ When they've got a guy
with our fisticuffs ♪
247
00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:50,655
♪ We're gonna sing--
- Gun!
248
00:10:50,689 --> 00:10:52,279
Gun, back up!
There's a gun!
249
00:10:52,310 --> 00:10:55,210
Back up, back up, back up,
back up, ba-ba-ba-ba.
250
00:10:55,241 --> 00:10:56,661
Okay, I was wrong.
251
00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:58,309
They definitely can
take that away from us.
252
00:10:58,344 --> 00:11:00,764
Definitely.
- Don't worry, choncho.
253
00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:04,763
If things go down, huh,
I brought my switchblade.
254
00:11:04,793 --> 00:11:06,173
[all oohing]
255
00:11:06,206 --> 00:11:08,616
- Don't ooh.
This is no time for "ooh."
256
00:11:08,655 --> 00:11:11,925
They have semiautomatic
weapons and body armor, okay?
257
00:11:11,965 --> 00:11:14,965
We have one switchblade
between the seven of us.
258
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,690
Oh, wow.
And it's dull?
259
00:11:16,724 --> 00:11:18,594
Good for you, Raul.
Good for you.
260
00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:20,590
- Por favor,
I know how to use it!
261
00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:21,830
- Don't do it.
Don't do--
262
00:11:21,862 --> 00:11:23,342
- Hey, Torches!
263
00:11:23,379 --> 00:11:25,899
We'll show you not to nab
oranges on our turf, eh?
264
00:11:25,931 --> 00:11:27,071
- Does not speak
for all of us!
265
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,413
all:
White lives matter!
266
00:11:28,448 --> 00:11:29,998
White lives matter!
267
00:11:30,034 --> 00:11:31,214
White lives matter!
268
00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:33,031
- Okay, that's our cue.
That--that is our cue.
269
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,898
- To shuffle bar-rumble them
off our turf?
270
00:11:34,931 --> 00:11:36,931
- No, to get the fuck
out of here rapidly.
271
00:11:36,965 --> 00:11:38,965
We are going to go dance
over there.
272
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,450
You need to chill out.
273
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:41,522
Dance away, dance away.
274
00:11:41,551 --> 00:11:44,411
Dance away, dance away.
Dance away, go.
275
00:11:44,448 --> 00:11:47,068
- Hyah!
Hey, did you guys see?
276
00:11:47,103 --> 00:11:48,593
I did my move.
277
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,450
- Oh, oh!
Khaki fire!
278
00:11:50,482 --> 00:11:52,072
Khaki fire!
279
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,243
Ugh!
280
00:11:55,275 --> 00:11:57,335
Ugh!
[breathing heavily]
281
00:11:57,379 --> 00:11:58,719
All right, boys.
282
00:11:58,758 --> 00:12:00,898
Let's go back to the Internet.
283
00:12:00,931 --> 00:12:02,971
[cool percussive music]
284
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,214
[dramatic music]
285
00:12:05,241 --> 00:12:07,691
- Introducing the most
erotic chapter yet
286
00:12:07,724 --> 00:12:09,974
in the "50 Shades" saga.
287
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,380
♪
288
00:12:12,413 --> 00:12:14,833
- Mr. Grey, you're one
of the most powerful people
289
00:12:14,862 --> 00:12:17,032
in the world.
290
00:12:17,068 --> 00:12:18,618
How did you do it?
291
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:21,615
- I know what people want.
292
00:12:21,655 --> 00:12:25,165
I understand...their desires,
293
00:12:25,206 --> 00:12:27,446
Anastasia.
294
00:12:27,482 --> 00:12:29,482
♪
295
00:12:29,517 --> 00:12:31,377
- You're used
to being the boss,
296
00:12:31,413 --> 00:12:33,243
aren't you, Mr. Grey?
297
00:12:33,275 --> 00:12:36,135
- I like something
very specific.
298
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,932
- What?
299
00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:40,025
♪
300
00:12:40,068 --> 00:12:42,378
- Prepare to go where
no other "50 Shades" movie
301
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:43,903
has gone before.
302
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,031
- What are you gonna
do to me?
303
00:12:46,068 --> 00:12:48,658
- Anything I want.
304
00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:50,519
♪
305
00:12:50,551 --> 00:12:53,861
[smooching loudly]
306
00:12:56,827 --> 00:12:59,857
[breathing heavily]
307
00:13:01,724 --> 00:13:03,414
♪
308
00:13:03,448 --> 00:13:05,718
[smooching loudly]
309
00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:08,408
- Why are you
doing this to me?
310
00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:09,758
- We are ruled by desire.
311
00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:12,413
- No, like,
this particular act.
312
00:13:12,448 --> 00:13:14,068
- I take what I want.
313
00:13:14,103 --> 00:13:17,723
- Can we please
just have penetrative sex?
314
00:13:20,137 --> 00:13:21,097
- [echoing] No.
315
00:13:21,137 --> 00:13:23,927
[smooching loudly]
316
00:13:23,965 --> 00:13:26,755
♪
317
00:13:26,793 --> 00:13:28,973
- What's next?
318
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,310
- More tiny little kisses.
319
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:35,004
So tiny, you won't
even feel them.
320
00:13:35,034 --> 00:13:37,524
- I would really like
to feel them.
321
00:13:38,758 --> 00:13:41,548
- [smooching loudly]
322
00:13:41,586 --> 00:13:43,856
- Without sight,
they're even louder.
323
00:13:43,896 --> 00:13:45,856
- [smooching loudly]
324
00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:47,756
- Could we try something?
325
00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:49,553
- Like what?
326
00:13:49,586 --> 00:13:52,026
- Literally anything else.
327
00:13:52,068 --> 00:13:53,338
♪
328
00:13:53,379 --> 00:13:54,689
Now I'm gonna take control.
329
00:13:54,724 --> 00:13:56,214
- Do it.
330
00:13:56,241 --> 00:13:57,281
- [smooching loudly]
331
00:13:57,310 --> 00:13:59,690
- Oh, God, is that
what that feels like?
332
00:13:59,724 --> 00:14:02,144
No! No, no.
Stop that, stop that.
333
00:14:02,172 --> 00:14:03,622
Safe word, spaghetti!
Spaghetti!
334
00:14:03,655 --> 00:14:05,375
Stop! Stop!
335
00:14:09,310 --> 00:14:12,380
[tense music]
336
00:14:12,413 --> 00:14:15,213
[loud smooching]
337
00:14:17,862 --> 00:14:18,832
- Oh.
338
00:14:18,862 --> 00:14:21,002
[squeegee squeaking
like smooching]
339
00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:23,594
I thought you were
someone else.
340
00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:25,170
♪
341
00:14:26,862 --> 00:14:30,412
[cool percussive music]
342
00:14:30,448 --> 00:14:32,588
- You were right, man.
It's harder than it looks.
343
00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:33,900
- I told you!
344
00:14:33,931 --> 00:14:35,831
Look, the unwritten third P
345
00:14:35,862 --> 00:14:38,102
in "play and pivot,"
is practice.
346
00:14:38,137 --> 00:14:40,207
- Then call it
the three Ps, man.
347
00:14:40,241 --> 00:14:42,071
Why would you leave out
an essential P?
348
00:14:42,103 --> 00:14:44,073
I needed that P.
- Yeah, you did.
349
00:14:44,103 --> 00:14:46,173
It was brutal out there.
- They wouldn't let me pivot.
350
00:14:46,206 --> 00:14:47,896
Just kept talking and talking
and talking and talking.
351
00:14:47,931 --> 00:14:50,171
- You don't wait for them
to let you pivot, you pivot.
352
00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:51,376
- Well, it's too late now, man.
353
00:14:51,413 --> 00:14:52,863
Now I have to figure out
my opinion
354
00:14:52,896 --> 00:14:54,336
on the Venezuelan oil industry?
355
00:14:54,379 --> 00:14:55,929
How do they know about it?
356
00:14:55,965 --> 00:14:57,715
- I think a more interesting
oil industry
357
00:14:57,758 --> 00:14:59,658
is the essential
oil industry.
358
00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:00,829
- Me too.
359
00:15:00,862 --> 00:15:02,482
You know, I just got
a new diffuser, and I really--
360
00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:03,857
Oh, my God.
You just pivoted me.
361
00:15:03,896 --> 00:15:05,786
- Mm-hmm.
That's the third P, baby.
362
00:15:05,827 --> 00:15:06,787
- Oh, you're good.
363
00:15:06,827 --> 00:15:08,167
- You ready to go pivot?
- I think so.
364
00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:09,656
- You ready to pivot?
- I can pivot.
365
00:15:09,689 --> 00:15:10,789
- Look me in the eye.
Are you a pivoter?
366
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,307
- Oh, I'm a pivoter.
- Who's a pivoter?
367
00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:13,624
You a pivoter?
- I am gonna pivot all over
368
00:15:13,655 --> 00:15:14,895
these people, man.
- Pivot on them!
369
00:15:14,931 --> 00:15:16,521
- Yeah!
- Why we in the bathroom?
370
00:15:16,551 --> 00:15:17,901
- No idea.
371
00:15:17,931 --> 00:15:20,141
- I used to do macramé,
which was fun...
372
00:15:20,172 --> 00:15:21,242
- Not the same.
- But now I'm doing--
373
00:15:21,275 --> 00:15:22,235
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
374
00:15:22,275 --> 00:15:23,585
Oh, hey!
- Hey.
375
00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:25,450
- We were just talking about
the new needle-pointing trend.
376
00:15:25,482 --> 00:15:26,862
- Oh, my God.
I love needle-pointing.
377
00:15:26,896 --> 00:15:29,096
- Oh, but now that you're here,
I know you wanted to share
378
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,997
your thoughts on the Venezuelan
oil industry, right?
379
00:15:32,034 --> 00:15:34,624
- About that, I think
the more relevant subject
380
00:15:34,655 --> 00:15:36,515
is the essential oil industry.
381
00:15:36,551 --> 00:15:38,591
Did you guys know that
it can alleviate stress
382
00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:41,340
and really put you in a better
disposition altogether.
383
00:15:41,379 --> 00:15:42,379
- You trying to change
the subject?
384
00:15:42,413 --> 00:15:44,033
- No, no, I'm--
385
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:47,548
[sighs]
Yes. Yes, I am.
386
00:15:47,586 --> 00:15:48,856
Listen, just because
I'm Latin American
387
00:15:48,896 --> 00:15:50,236
doesn't mean that's
all I want to talk about.
388
00:15:50,275 --> 00:15:52,205
Why don't you try
asking me anything else?
389
00:15:52,241 --> 00:15:53,691
Literally, anything else.
390
00:15:53,724 --> 00:15:55,344
Like, how do I know the host?
391
00:15:55,379 --> 00:15:57,829
Or I don't know--
like, where I get my hair done.
392
00:15:57,862 --> 00:15:58,902
And I will tell you where.
393
00:15:58,931 --> 00:16:01,481
Alphonso's, 'cause that man
is a magician
394
00:16:01,517 --> 00:16:03,097
with sensitive scalps.
395
00:16:03,137 --> 00:16:04,447
I mean, you're white.
396
00:16:04,482 --> 00:16:06,102
Do you know the subtleties
of the political climate
397
00:16:06,137 --> 00:16:07,277
in Germany?
398
00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:08,280
- Actually, yeah.
399
00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:09,590
- Of course you do, Chad.
400
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,720
- Arturo, no one's forcing you
to talk about this stuff.
401
00:16:12,758 --> 00:16:14,208
I mean, why did you even
come back over here
402
00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:15,551
when you got out
of the bathroom?
403
00:16:15,586 --> 00:16:16,656
- That would have been
a perfect time
404
00:16:16,689 --> 00:16:18,069
to join another conversation.
405
00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:20,033
- Because I did not know
that was an option.
406
00:16:20,068 --> 00:16:21,448
- Speaking of options,
407
00:16:21,482 --> 00:16:23,622
Netflix has way
too many options.
408
00:16:23,655 --> 00:16:25,445
What happened to getting
DVDs in the mail?
409
00:16:25,482 --> 00:16:28,382
I miss DVDs.
They're very shiny circles.
410
00:16:28,413 --> 00:16:29,903
- Yeah.
- I like the special features.
411
00:16:29,931 --> 00:16:31,691
- I like it when this guy
changes the topic.
412
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:32,864
[laughter]
- [mouths words]
413
00:16:32,896 --> 00:16:34,306
- I miss them.
414
00:16:34,344 --> 00:16:37,314
[cool percussive music]
415
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:40,344
[traffic noise, sirens]
416
00:16:43,448 --> 00:16:46,068
- Ah, capitalist America.
417
00:16:46,103 --> 00:16:47,413
2019.
418
00:16:47,448 --> 00:16:48,788
- Looks like we got here
in the nick of time.
419
00:16:48,827 --> 00:16:50,967
Look at the cesspool
of consumerism.
420
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,550
- Yes, let's start recruiting.
421
00:16:53,586 --> 00:16:55,276
- Hey, you three!
422
00:16:55,310 --> 00:16:58,100
The chains of capitalism
have bound you
423
00:16:58,137 --> 00:17:01,027
to a machine of greed
by which you are enslaved.
424
00:17:01,068 --> 00:17:03,208
Now, who amongst you--
- Hey!
425
00:17:03,241 --> 00:17:05,311
You're the dude from the shirt.
426
00:17:05,344 --> 00:17:06,764
- Oh, yeah.
427
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:07,903
- What?
428
00:17:07,931 --> 00:17:09,521
- Oh, yeah, my shirt.
429
00:17:09,551 --> 00:17:11,831
- That's you, right?
Beard guy?
430
00:17:11,862 --> 00:17:13,452
- Why is my face
on your shirt?
431
00:17:13,482 --> 00:17:15,102
- I don't know.
It's just cool.
432
00:17:15,137 --> 00:17:16,407
Everybody has one.
433
00:17:16,448 --> 00:17:18,378
- Oh.
434
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:21,003
Anyway, the laws
of capitalism,
435
00:17:21,034 --> 00:17:22,834
blind and invisible
to the majority--
436
00:17:22,862 --> 00:17:24,482
I am sorry,
did you say everyone?
437
00:17:24,517 --> 00:17:25,517
- Yeah.
438
00:17:25,551 --> 00:17:27,451
- With my face?
Just like this?
439
00:17:27,482 --> 00:17:29,342
- Yeah, I have a poster, too.
- And I got the phone case.
440
00:17:29,379 --> 00:17:31,029
- Okay, hold up, hold up.
441
00:17:31,068 --> 00:17:32,308
Did you guys make these?
442
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:33,694
- No, no, we bought them.
443
00:17:33,724 --> 00:17:34,794
- Oh, you bought them.
444
00:17:34,827 --> 00:17:37,137
[chuckles]
Who cares?
445
00:17:37,172 --> 00:17:38,282
How much?
446
00:17:38,310 --> 00:17:40,280
- This shirt?
It was, like, $40.
447
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,520
- $40 for a T-shirt?
448
00:17:42,551 --> 00:17:44,931
- Che, come on,
you were saying?
449
00:17:44,965 --> 00:17:46,825
The struggle for liberation
against a foreign oppressor.
450
00:17:46,862 --> 00:17:48,002
- One second, one second.
451
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:49,454
So let's say
a thousand people have them.
452
00:17:49,482 --> 00:17:51,412
That's $40 a T-shirt.
453
00:17:51,448 --> 00:17:53,858
That's $40,000.
454
00:17:53,896 --> 00:17:55,096
That's a lot of money.
455
00:17:55,137 --> 00:17:57,277
- A thousand people?
No, no, try millions.
456
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:58,970
- Millions!
457
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,070
Millions!
458
00:18:03,758 --> 00:18:05,208
No, capitalism is bad.
459
00:18:05,241 --> 00:18:06,591
Socialism, good.
460
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:08,070
For each according
to his ability,
461
00:18:08,103 --> 00:18:09,453
to each according
to his needs.
462
00:18:09,482 --> 00:18:11,172
Yes, okay.
463
00:18:11,206 --> 00:18:12,546
- Is everything okay, Che?
- Yes!
464
00:18:12,586 --> 00:18:13,996
Just running
a few numbers, okay?
465
00:18:14,034 --> 00:18:16,794
- Comandante, we are not here
to participate in capitalism.
466
00:18:16,827 --> 00:18:18,207
We are here to crush it!
467
00:18:18,241 --> 00:18:19,381
- You're right.
- Yes.
468
00:18:19,413 --> 00:18:21,003
- I am a revolutionary.
- Yes.
469
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:24,074
- I am here to drain this sewer
of greed and nothing else.
470
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,863
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes!
471
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,516
- Hey, you know, my dad's
a copyright lawyer.
472
00:18:27,551 --> 00:18:28,831
- Please tell me more.
473
00:18:28,862 --> 00:18:31,592
[upbeat music]
474
00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:33,450
No, no, no,
you're not listening to me.
475
00:18:33,482 --> 00:18:36,972
I know it's real tobacco.
I just don't care, okay?
476
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,860
By Q2, I want every
toy store in the Midwest
477
00:18:39,896 --> 00:18:42,856
to be carrying Che Gue-Vapors.
478
00:18:42,896 --> 00:18:46,336
Okay, call me back.
Ciao, ciao.
479
00:18:46,379 --> 00:18:49,209
- Our home-improvement sector
is on fire.
480
00:18:49,241 --> 00:18:51,141
America loves
the Che Lounges.
481
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,382
[whooshing]
482
00:18:54,413 --> 00:18:56,003
- Fidel.
483
00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:57,694
- Comrades!
484
00:18:57,724 --> 00:18:59,484
How is our revolution coming?
485
00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:02,097
Have you overthrown the evil
capitalist regime yet?
486
00:19:02,137 --> 00:19:04,237
- Um...
487
00:19:04,275 --> 00:19:05,615
Very close.
488
00:19:05,655 --> 00:19:07,305
I would say very, very close.
489
00:19:07,344 --> 00:19:08,934
You know what? Why don't
you wait for us in the lobby
490
00:19:08,965 --> 00:19:10,335
and we'll come get you
in a second?
491
00:19:10,379 --> 00:19:11,549
- Viva la revolución!
492
00:19:11,586 --> 00:19:12,966
- Uh-huh.
493
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,620
Yes.
494
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,375
[dialing]
495
00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:18,593
Hello, Immigration?
496
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,830
Oh, I got a big one for you.
497
00:19:20,862 --> 00:19:21,972
- Che!
498
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,410
- [sighs]
You're right.
499
00:19:23,448 --> 00:19:25,688
Please go get him.
500
00:19:28,931 --> 00:19:31,141
Actually, it's two of them.
Please hurry.
501
00:19:32,827 --> 00:19:36,307
[cool percussive music]
502
00:19:36,344 --> 00:19:39,524
- You must be speak
such good Spanish.
503
00:19:39,551 --> 00:19:41,451
You know, I learned a little
Spanish in high school, so...
504
00:19:41,482 --> 00:19:42,932
- Oh, that's so cool.
- Mm.
505
00:19:42,965 --> 00:19:44,785
- I actually just ran into
a friend from high school,
506
00:19:44,827 --> 00:19:46,477
who now works
at Knitters Delight
507
00:19:46,517 --> 00:19:48,477
in Williamsburg,
which is where I happen to get
508
00:19:48,517 --> 00:19:50,137
all my double-mesh canvas.
509
00:19:50,172 --> 00:19:51,282
- Aw.
- Are you a yarn-head?
510
00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:52,620
I don't mean to assume.
- I am.
511
00:19:52,655 --> 00:19:54,275
I'm also thinking about getting
into candlestick making, so...
512
00:19:54,310 --> 00:19:56,210
- Oh, great.
[both chuckle]
513
00:19:56,241 --> 00:19:58,411
- You're ready.
- I think so.
514
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,378
Hmm.
515
00:20:00,413 --> 00:20:02,213
Good luck.
- Cool.
516
00:20:03,931 --> 00:20:05,721
- Oh, I love that Sauvignon.
517
00:20:05,758 --> 00:20:07,068
- Oh, yeah, it's really good.
518
00:20:07,103 --> 00:20:08,283
- Right? Not too dry,
not too sweet.
519
00:20:08,310 --> 00:20:09,620
- Mm-mm.
- You know?
520
00:20:09,655 --> 00:20:13,685
- Hey, are--are you mad about
what Trump says about Mexicans?
521
00:20:13,724 --> 00:20:16,384
- [sighs] Not as mad
as I am about
522
00:20:16,413 --> 00:20:18,723
Joann Fabrics running out
of yellow mustard thread.
523
00:20:18,758 --> 00:20:20,278
- [chuckles]
- I'm a needlepoint guy.
524
00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:22,340
- I love needlepoint.
- Oh, you do, huh?
525
00:20:22,379 --> 00:20:25,519
- Yeah.
[both chuckle]
526
00:20:25,551 --> 00:20:28,621
- Is Costa Rica
too touristy?
527
00:20:28,655 --> 00:20:29,995
- Oh, I wouldn't say that.
528
00:20:30,034 --> 00:20:31,414
They just have a lot
of beautiful beaches.
529
00:20:31,448 --> 00:20:32,478
- Hmm.
530
00:20:32,517 --> 00:20:33,617
- Which actually inspired
one of my cheekier
531
00:20:33,655 --> 00:20:35,235
embroidered pillows:
"Life's a Beach."
532
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:36,235
[both laugh]
533
00:20:36,275 --> 00:20:37,335
Would you like
to see a picture?
534
00:20:37,379 --> 00:20:39,169
- Yeah, I'd love to.
- Here.
535
00:20:39,206 --> 00:20:41,306
- Oh, wow, that's amazing.
- Oh, thank you.
536
00:20:41,344 --> 00:20:43,554
I feel like needlepoint is
having a bit of a renaissance.
537
00:20:43,586 --> 00:20:45,066
- I don't want
to talk to you.
538
00:20:45,103 --> 00:20:47,073
Our last conversation
ended weirdly.
539
00:20:47,103 --> 00:20:49,003
- It did end weirdly.
540
00:20:49,034 --> 00:20:50,484
Kind of like the whole
cross-stitching fad
541
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:51,517
ended weirdly.
542
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:52,861
Do you not have--
543
00:20:55,482 --> 00:20:57,552
- You can't pivot on somebody
you already overplayed.
544
00:20:57,586 --> 00:20:58,716
- Oh.
- And also,
545
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,688
try pivoting to something
other than needlepoint.
546
00:21:00,724 --> 00:21:01,724
People are leaving the party
547
00:21:01,758 --> 00:21:03,138
after they're done
talking to you.
548
00:21:03,172 --> 00:21:05,102
- Probably to buy supplies.
- You're doing it again.
549
00:21:05,137 --> 00:21:06,167
- Oh, my God,
I can't stop.
550
00:21:06,206 --> 00:21:07,616
We need to leave.
- Please.
551
00:21:07,655 --> 00:21:12,925
- Let's go.
552
00:21:12,965 --> 00:21:19,995
♪
553
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:24,595
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