Original subtitles

(NATHAN EXHALES)

(EFFORT GRUNTING)

Look at him go, kids.

Still with the kettle bell.

You maxed out, Dwayne Johnson?

Please. I got 20 more in the tank.

Yeah... No, me too.

Um, you, you doin' okay?

You feeling good? Everything normal?

It's just, uh...

Where's all this coming from?

What, exercise?

Ah no, I mean, look. You look amazing. Like crazy.

But it has been... a lot, you know, and um...

You're not like, trying to send me a message?

Like, that I should be more like...

'Cause I-I do my kettle bell swings, like,

I've been doing tons of them early in the morning.

Before you see me, and...

Oh, you've got nothing to worry about.

You're an absolute smoke show. I mean it.

- You don't have to clench. - I didn't.

That's just the way it is all the time.

It's annoying.

You don't need muscles, you have your health.

Okay, well...

This healthy girl is gonna go to work, I got a big day.

You just keep getting ripped, I guess.

Um, before you go, I wanted to get your temperature

on cutting out wine.

- Even on the weekends?! - It's all sugar.

Okay, what the fuck is going on here?

I just think we should be thinking about this stuff more.

I am thinking, and there's a line. And it's wine.

- The wine line. - Okay, to be continued.

I'll see you back here tonight for six ounces of salmon,

and two scoops of brown rice?

- Oh boy. - (SARCASTIC CHUCKLES)

Love you guys.

Bye, bye.

???

Yeah!

RICHARD: Um, don't you think the champagne

- is a little presumptuous? - Are you kidding?

Our companies are a perfect match, this one's in the bag.

- (PHONE RINGS) - All right, shh! Okay.

(BEEPS CALL ON)

- Good morning! - CLIENT: Kate Foster!

- How are we? - Busy, as always.

Oh, I'd love to ask all about your weekend,

but I'm kind of in the mood to cut right to the chase,

- How's that sound? - I couldn't agree more.

- Let's dive in. - First off,

let me congratulate your entire company

- (CORK POPS) - on a fantastic pitch last week.

- Ohh! (GIGGLES) - Shh! Shh!

That said, it's looking like we're going

in a different direction.

Sorry, uh, what?

We're going with someone else.

You are. Okay.

Is this is a conversation about costs,

because we'd be happy to discuss lowering our rates.

Look, we appreciate you accommodating us.

It's still a no, though.

May I ask who you're going with?

Uh... sure.

Fucking Mo? You've gotta be kidding me.

Well, maybe he can provide them with something we can't?

Like what? Chlamydia?!

- (SCOFFS) - And what was that about

us being accommodating? Am I too nice?

Oh for god's sake's, Kate.

It's not about that! The guy's a snake,

he stole our lunch. End of story.

Speaking of lunch, you've got something

- in your teeth there, Rosie. - Yeah, it was funny

- the first 50 times. - Richard, what did I tell you

about making fun of Rosie's adult braces?

Well, I'm sorry! They're distracting. I don't know what to tell you.

Well, there's only two months left on my dad's insurance.

Rosie, don't, don't feel the animal.

Kate, get this whole Mo thing out of your head, focus in

on the Wynston Publishing meeting this afternoon.

It's a big one, and we need it.

Oh! Rosie, come with me?

I get a better Wi-Fi signal when you're near my office.

Kate! What the...?!

Okay, I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. (EXHALES)

???

All right, we got everything we need.

One Rhodes, one overnight bag... and lest we forget...

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

- A rat, Frankie?! - It's Colin!

Were they sold out of goldfish?!

I just thought with her new brother,

and all the back and forth between your house and mine,

a pet would give Rhodes some consistency.

I let her run free in the pet store.

And she chose Colin.

What kind of rat name is Colin?!

And it's a girl rat, too!

I mean, we have a very creative daughter.

And a very fancy rat!

Ah, I'm really gonna miss these two.

You know, Bianca's out of town for like, a month.

- It sucks to be alone. - Alone? Well, what about...

Oh! Juniper, yeah, she's more like a pet.

I meant your baby.

Solomon? Yeah, where is he anyway?

Yeah, absolutely, no, you're right.

He is sleeping. He's always sleeping.

Say goodbye, Rhoda.

Bye! Mm-mm-muah!

Okay, have fun at Mummy's!

Don't kill the rat, G! Okay?

Wait! What does it eat?

Fucked if I know.

So nice to have some...

new blood at our little brunch tradition.

What's the tradition?

- Tuesdays. - Hmm. Right.

I hope there aren't any hard feelings for the other night.

I mean, you mix denim and diamonds, and...

see you on the moon, bitch.

Don't worry about it.

Um, I am sorry that my friend, Val, tried to drown you.

Oh, it happens.

CHERYL: Here.

Are you sure you should be chasing pills with champagne?

- Uh, pretty sure. - (ALL LAUGH)

You don't think that you might be able to...

maybe write us a script for some more?

I have a doctor, but he's away.

I mean, we're happy to book a session and pay for it.

I guess if you're uh, gonna book a session,

we could just start from there.

Oh yay!

We're the bad moms from that movie, "Bad Moms."

- I missed that one. - How about our kids dating!

- Mhm! - How cute is that?

Imagine if we became sisters?

(COUGHS, PILLS RATTLE)

Annie Xanie, you drugged-up slut!

I knew she was holding. I know you were holding!

Oh my god.

- Oh, honey. Easy now. - (ANNE GAGS)

- Drink the champagne! - Yeah, here.

(COUGHS)

- CHERYL: Just pound it back. - TOM�: That's what it's for.

- Chug it. - Down it. Yeah.

Mm! (LAUGHS)

(STREETCAR RUMBLES)

???

Kate Foster. Very sorry to keep you waiting.

Not at all.

It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Sloane.

I've been following your work a long time, and...

full transparency,

my son is a major fan of "Spader the Investi-Gator."

- Nice! And what do you think? - Me?

Oh. Well, I'm... I think it's great.

Yeah, it's uh, it's uh...

actually very important work.

An alligator solving mysteries on a skateboard?

Important work?

Well, somebody's gotta solve 'em.

Why not Spader? (CHUCKLES)

Here's the deal.

My last PR rep was so busy worrying about what I wanted,

she didn't have an opinion of her own.

I'm looking for a bullshit-free relationship.

So I am gonna ask you again,

what do you think of "Spader the Investi-Gator?"

Okay.

It's a little predictable.

My five-year-old usually solves the crime by page two,

and an alligator on a skateboard?

(CHUCKLES) It's illogical.

It's uh, it's stupid, it makes me crazy.

- I'm sorry. - (LAUGHS)

There she is! They're the most annoying books

in the universe, but they sell.

You have a chance to look at our new slate?

I did, yes.

And?

Oh, um, okay.

Uh, "Penny Pest Control" is the horse to bet on.

Cute, right?

A little girl exterminator, teaching kids not to be afraid?

It's gonna fly off the shelves.

And it's a great opportunity for expansion

in your interactive digital space.

Oh.

Uh well, all our kids' properties are already

cross-platform, but uh... unless there's anything else,

thank you for coming in, this has been great.

Uh, actually, um... that's not all.

That isn't all be...

because... Can I show you something?

It'll just take a second.

- (CELL PHONE RINGS) - Just...

What-what am I...

Hey, Baby Girl! Say hi to Sloane!

(COOS)

(LAUGHS) All right.

- That's your daughter? - Uh-huh.

How old is she? She answered?

Every time, and that's not all she does.

You should see my credit card statement.

She's making actual purchases on that thing.

Cross platform is great.

But what I'm proposing is a fully loaded digital universe

For each "pest" Penny meets.

In-app purchases for days.

One click away for any child.

Are you talking about exploiting children?

- You said it, not me. - (LAUGHS)

???

- (LAUGHS) - Hey. Whoa!

- Bye! - Oh my god, bye!

- Bye. Oh! - Oh, you're good!

- Oh yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. - You're good, okay.

- Okay. - (KEYS JINGLE)

I'm gonna call an Ube!

(CELL PHONE BUZZES)

Ohhh!

Is that my big boy?

Hey, I've been trying to get hold of you all day!

Sorry, I was at brunch. It's a tradition.

Okay, great news!

I got you an interview at my office

to take over Mallory's mat leave!

That is very cool. When?

- 3:00 p.m.. - What day, silly?

Today!

That seems very soon. Is that very soon?

Yeah, it's in like, 40 minutes.

Well all right,

I will see you soon, Squirt!

- Are you okay? - (BEEPS CALL OFF)

- Calling un Ube. - Anne?

- (BUTTONS BEEP) - Anne, I can still hear you,

I'm not an Uber.

(HORNS HONK, TRAFFIC RUMBLES)

Ugh! I've got like, three more of these interviews today.

Well, I hope they all shit the bed.

(LAUGHS) You're funny.

I like talking to you.

I like talking to you, too.

And I hope we get to do some more of it.

- Thank you for this. - For sure.

Hey, uh... when I'm done today,

do you wanna grab some martinis,

and eat a pile of red meat, and French fries?

I really, really do.

You'll get a call.

???

- FRANKIE: Bianca! - I miss you guys so much!

How's my little man?

Ah, he is, he's great.

Does he like the fun station I set up for him?

(GASPS)

Yes, he does!

He is in there right uh, right now, actually.

Let me see!

Okay, yep, just one second.

Uh, hey there, squishy!

Having fun in there?

Hey Frankie I'm over here, come on, pick the phone up!

Okay, he's super busy, like, pulling, and pushing,

and building stuff, and...

(SIGHS)

Oh, there's my handsome man!

Why are your bras hanging there?

Uh, I don't know, why don't you ask him?

Lil' Rapscallion.

You're sure this isn't too much for you?

Me being away? You're so busy.

You're the busy one, Mrs. Hospitality MBA.

I've got nothing but time, and it's all for him.

Okay.

Love you guys.

We love you, too! (KISSES)

"Nothing but time?"

Interesting, since I'm the one that spends

- all the time with him. - (CELL PHONE DINGS)

(EXHALES) Oh shit!

I need you to look after him, I've got a showing.

You know I got you.

Just uh, gimme six, I've got some...

macaroni in a pot cookin', if you know what I mean.

- I don't. - Masturbating.

Okay, well, take your time.

I love hanging out with this guy.

(PIANO NOTES SOUND)

Love it!

(SLOW DISTORTED MUSIC)

(SLOW MOTION BREATHING)

- (SURREAL ECHO) - So, you're highly qualified,

11 years with your own private psychiatry practice,

you've worked as a university trauma counselor?

Wrote a book too, my dude.

- Mm-hmm? What about? - My daughter.

She was being bad. I fixed her.

Okay.

Do you worry about being used to a more intimate setting?

Your previous patients all wanted to see you.

As a corporate counselor,

many of the people you would be working with

would be assigned to meet you.

Whether they want to or not.

Maybe those are the people

I could make the biggest difference with.

You don't always know you're cold

until somebody gives you a blanket.

I could be that blanket.

Mm-hmm!

(LAUGHS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

By securing one of these units today,

you're gonna pay today's price,

versus market value six months from now,

when the top floors are completed.

So what do you think, Mom?

Can you handle six more months of your son living with you?

(ALL LAUGH)

Uh, I mean, it is a great area.

Oh, it's a terrific area. But, you know, take your time.

Right? You don't wanna rush into something like this.

It has to feel right.

Of course, they are selling fast.

Okay, yes! Let's do it!

- Yahoo! - (ALL LAUGH)

Oh man, I hope I can be half as good a mother

to my daughter-my-my kids, I mean.

Okay, great, well, why don't you guys just take a, you know,

another look around, and uh, I'll prep some paperwork.

- Thank you. - Yeah!

(MOTHER AND SON LAUGH)

- Very impressive, Frankie. - Ah, come on.

No, really, that's the fourth unit you've sold here.

You know, I was speaking with my guys,

we're thinking you could be the exclusive agency

for this building.

Like, me, sell every unit?

Well, not just you, of course.

But your whole team over there at Coyne Realty.

My team. Right. Right.

There's 43 units still unsold.

I don't see the reason to work with anybody else.

That is, if you've got the time.

Oh yeah, I could, I could find the time.

???

Thank you.

Damn. Look at this line. Where should we go instead?

To the front.

Rodrigo, how's the family?

So nice to see you again, Ms. Mitchell! Right this way.

- The usual Bordeaux? - Yes, please.

Okay, I am going with you everywhere.

(LAUGHING)

Mmm! Mm-hmm!

(LAUGHS) Pace yourself!

Have you never been fed before?

Sorry, my husband's threatening

this new health regimen,

I'm trying to store up for winter.

Oh my god. That must be so trying.

It's okay, I have a secret snack drawer.

- No, I meant being married. - Oh. Um,

it can be yeah, but it can also be great.

I take it you're not.

Nuh-uh!

You know I used to think there was something wrong with me.

Relationships, family,

the whole idea of it almost kind of bored me.

I don't know, my life really took off

when I started working.

So I became the man I wanted to marry.

Wow. Hey, uh...

I hope I'm not crossing a line here, but um,

what's with the sunglasses?

I mean, I get it during the day,

but it's pretty dark in here.

Oh my god, I forgot I was even wearing these.

Uh, it's an old trick.

Never let 'em see your hand.

I didn't know we were playing poker.

We are always playing poker.

Ahem. I am so sorry to interrupt,

but your guests have arrived.

Wonderful, Rodrigo! Thank you, send 'em in.

Oh, and uh, can I trouble you for an order

of your squid ink risotto for my emaciated friend over here?

Oh, I couldn't possibly... Okay, maybe one order.

Of course.

Is someone joining us?

- We work hard, right? - Sure.

Long hours. Thankless. Brutal.

Yeah, totally.

So do we not deserve to blow off a little steam

every now and then with a couple of meat boys?

Absol... Sorry, "meat boys?"

We call them "boys," but they're really "meat men."

- I'm not following. - (LAUGHS)

Bruno, my man, good to see you!

This is Kate Foster, isn't she beautiful?

So beautiful.

Oh and Sloane, thank you again for the Lil Nas X tickets.

- The show was so sick! - Anytime, sweetheart.

Why don't you come over here, and pour yourself a drink.

Sloane, what's um, what's happening right now?

And what's your name, again?

Oh, uh, it's, it's Forrest.

Like, "Where the Wild Things Are."

What the fuck?!

- Okay. - Okay, that's not...

(SIGHS)

Forrest, what are you doing here?

I've been known to enjoy the company of older women.

Just don't, don't make it weird.

Look, I don't know exactly what it is you want

from your life, but you can do better than this, no?

Better than what?

Every night I get to eat a new food I can't even pronounce.

And that's worth pimping yourself out for?

I don't know. Who's to say?

You! You're to say! You are to say...

Hey! Sorry, sorry to interrupt.

Um, I'm gonna take off, and bring this little uh...

sweet um...

dream boat home with me.

Really? (LAUGHS)

Well, Kate Foster, you're full of surprises.

All right, I ain't saying nothing.

Okay, let's go, big guy.

- Are we gonna bang? - No, we are not gonna bang.

I am gonna drop you off at home,

and we're never gonna speak of this again.

Okay, that's actually great news.

Because I'm like, really sensitive right now.

- Like, on my guy. - Uh-huh.

Sloane and her friends, they have this sports grip.

Okay, all right, let's just, let's go. Come on.

They don't let go, it's like, skkkhh-kkkh-kkh!

Okay, stop it!

You know, I have like, a tattoo now.

She actually called them that?

Yes! Meat boys!

Like, ugh! Human meat boys!

Are you sure you're comfortable with me talking

- about all this stuff? - 100 percent.

- I wanna know everything. - Yeah?

Even the massive plate of squid ink fuckin' risotto

I put away?

I'll admit that part's the hardest to hear.

- Uh-huh. - But only out of jealousy.

(GRUNTS)

You got no one to blame but yourself.

Cheesy rice, it fucked me up, Daddy.

You know, about that.

Do you remember Marlene Podeski?

My girlfriend before you?

Is she the one who used to... flick those balls?

She's in the hospital.

Oh no, oh my god. What happened?

She had a heart attack.

Oh god, I'm sorry, is she okay?

I mean, she's alive.

But it was close.

Wait, is this where all this health stuff is coming from?

(SIGHS) It just got me thinking, you know,

we gotta start taking this stuff seriously.

Yeah. And here I am bragging about cheesy rice.

It's so good, but it... I am a monster.

No, no, it's all good.

I just... I needed to talk about it.

Well, nothing but salmon and pushups from here on out,

- okay? I promise. - (LAUGHS)

- So, this Sloane. - Hmm!

You actually wanna work with her?

I don't know. I mean, she's always like,

ten steps ahead of me, I,

I don't know if I can keep up.

Why are you smiling?

What do you mean?

You're totally grinning as you talk about her.

- I don't think I am. - You totally are!

You love the challenge.

Is that bad?

Life is short.

- Oh, is it? - Yeah.

(SNORTS)

Come here, my sweet meat boy.

- Mmm! - Woo!

Oh! (LAUGHS)

- I love how old you are. - Mm!

Aged meat is the best!

- (APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS THUD) - What did you do in there?!

Sorry, I'm so sorry.

- I was at this brunch. - You made a real mess.

Sorry.

Because... they will not stop until you are working there!

You're all anyone can talk about!

Oh my god, I got a job? I got the job...

Why did you tell me like that?!

What's going on?

Mommy got a job. And can I just say,

that you look very fetching in that dress.

I think this town looks really good on you.

In fact, I think it looks good on all of us.

- Wouldn't you agree, Anne? - (SIGHS)

Anne!

What? Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

I just had no other clean shirts.

Mom hasn't done the laundry this week.

That's the funny thing about laundry machines.

If you turn them on, they do the laundry.

- I know how to do laundry! - It's okay, I got it.

Do you know how to do laundry?

- Yeah, I do, actually. - Because I've never actually

seen you use the laundry machine before.

- Hmm. - Every time I go in there,

it's sitting there, in the laundry machine!

Like if it weren't for you, we wouldn't even be here

- in the first place... - (VOICES FADE)

- This is gonna be great. - (PILLS RATTLE)

???

? Something you see wakes you up from the dream ?

? You wanna go back to sleep ?

? But now you're up from the dream ?

? Walk into the kitchen pull the dishes from the sink ?

? And you've changed in the blink of an eye ?

(SOBBING)

? You wanna go back to sleep ?

? But now you're up from the dream ?

? Walk into the kitchen pull the dishes from the sink ?

? And you've changed in the blink of an eye ?

???