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1
00:02:13,699 --> 00:02:19,205
Tuesday,
January 1st, 1856.
2
00:02:27,713 --> 00:02:29,682
Fair and very cold.
3
00:02:32,718 --> 00:02:34,587
This morning,
4
00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:37,490
ice in our bedroom
for the first time all winter.
5
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:18,798
The water froze
on the potatoes
6
00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:20,533
as soon as they were washed.
7
00:03:22,568 --> 00:03:25,772
With little pride,
and less hope,
8
00:03:26,872 --> 00:03:28,441
we begin the new year.
9
00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:33,146
On the porch
after sunup,
10
00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:35,514
I could hear the low chirping
of sparrows
11
00:03:35,547 --> 00:03:38,284
in the hedgerows that are
now buried in the snow.
12
00:04:14,987 --> 00:04:18,391
Dyer has maintained
that with good health,
13
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,059
and a level head,
14
00:04:20,092 --> 00:04:21,727
there is always
an excellent chance
15
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,429
for a farmer willing to work.
16
00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:40,446
He feels he can never fully
rid himself of his burdens.
17
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:45,584
And I'm certain that because
his mind is in such a bad state,
18
00:04:45,617 --> 00:04:47,453
it affects his whole system.
19
00:05:15,047 --> 00:05:16,415
He told me
this morning
20
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:19,719
that contentment was like
a friend he never gets to see.
21
00:05:21,019 --> 00:05:22,588
You're late with the milking.
22
00:05:22,621 --> 00:05:23,790
She wasn't suffering.
23
00:05:25,424 --> 00:05:26,459
And you?
24
00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:43,909
Since our acquisition
of this farm,
25
00:05:43,942 --> 00:05:47,513
my husband had kept a ledger
to help him see the year whole.
26
00:05:49,114 --> 00:05:51,484
This way he knows what each crop
27
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:54,587
and field pays
from year to year.
28
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:57,857
And Dyer has asked me
to keep a diary of matters
29
00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:00,426
that might otherwise
go overlooked...
30
00:06:03,061 --> 00:06:06,499
From tools lent out
to bills outstanding.
31
00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:09,902
That I have done.
32
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:15,875
But there would be no record
in these dull and simple pages
33
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:17,810
of the most passionate
circumstances
34
00:06:17,843 --> 00:06:19,445
of our seasons past.
35
00:06:22,481 --> 00:06:25,051
No record of our emotions
or fears.
36
00:06:26,151 --> 00:06:27,787
Our greatest joys.
37
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,757
Our most piercing sorrows.
38
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:43,169
With our child,
39
00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:45,671
it was as if I'd found
my bearings.
40
00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:51,077
But I too rarely told her
that she was our treasure.
41
00:06:53,712 --> 00:06:54,781
Would you like to try?
42
00:06:58,550 --> 00:06:59,886
Like this, papa?
43
00:07:02,154 --> 00:07:03,189
That's it.
44
00:07:05,724 --> 00:07:08,160
She often seemed
separate from us,
45
00:07:08,193 --> 00:07:11,831
as if she was working at
just fitting in where she could.
46
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:16,035
They saw his brothers
and sisters
47
00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:18,037
and they were
the mouse's family...
48
00:07:19,838 --> 00:07:21,507
There is something
so affecting
49
00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:23,876
about mute and motionless grief
and illness
50
00:07:23,909 --> 00:07:25,544
in a child so young.
51
00:07:28,914 --> 00:07:31,717
She put her arms around me
and said nothing else.
52
00:07:36,288 --> 00:07:38,491
But it felt like
we were speaking.
53
00:10:06,271 --> 00:10:08,374
I have become
my grief.
54
00:10:13,712 --> 00:10:16,348
I have become my grief.
55
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,989
"Welcome sweet
day of rest",
56
00:10:24,022 --> 00:10:26,792
says the hymn.
57
00:10:26,825 --> 00:10:31,764
And Sunday is most welcome
for its few hours of quiet ease.
58
00:10:32,998 --> 00:10:34,033
As for me.
59
00:10:35,033 --> 00:10:36,769
I no longer attend.
60
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:40,940
After the calamity
of Nellie's loss,
61
00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:44,143
what calm I enjoy
62
00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:47,680
does not derive from the notion
of a better world to come.
63
00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:53,719
I want to purchase an atlas.
64
00:10:55,854 --> 00:10:57,857
- It could be a bother.
- No, no. No bother.
65
00:11:08,066 --> 00:11:09,068
Who is that?
66
00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:11,070
His name is Finney.
67
00:11:12,270 --> 00:11:15,007
-His wife Tallie.
-Hyah!
68
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,141
I met them
at the feed store.
69
00:11:16,174 --> 00:11:17,877
They seem to keep to themselves.
70
00:11:20,378 --> 00:11:22,048
They're renting the Zebrun farm.
71
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:38,431
Monday, February 4th.
72
00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:42,935
Why is ink like fire?
73
00:11:44,402 --> 00:11:46,038
Because it is a good servant,
74
00:11:47,005 --> 00:11:48,507
and a hard master.
75
00:11:54,412 --> 00:11:55,748
Did you say something?
76
00:11:58,083 --> 00:11:59,919
I want to purchase an atlas.
77
00:12:07,492 --> 00:12:09,928
I suppose there are more
frivolous purchases
78
00:12:09,961 --> 00:12:10,996
one could make.
79
00:12:17,502 --> 00:12:19,138
I've saved 90 cents of my own.
80
00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,373
I can't imagine a better way
to spend it.
81
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:27,179
Could buy your husband a gift.
82
00:12:31,983 --> 00:12:33,352
What better gift
could I give him
83
00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:35,488
than a wife
who is no longer a dullard?
84
00:12:40,859 --> 00:12:41,960
My self-education
85
00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:44,997
seems the only way
to keep my unhappiness
86
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:46,365
from overwhelming me.
87
00:13:59,037 --> 00:14:00,172
Good afternoon.
88
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:06,211
I've been using a broom
on my porch.
89
00:14:06,244 --> 00:14:07,346
The snow is so dry.
90
00:14:10,348 --> 00:14:11,350
I'm Tallie.
91
00:14:13,351 --> 00:14:14,386
Abigail.
92
00:14:18,123 --> 00:14:19,391
I hope I'm not intruding.
93
00:14:20,091 --> 00:14:20,992
No.
94
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,528
I just, I needed to get away
for the day.
95
00:14:23,561 --> 00:14:25,364
The farm is a slaughterhouse
right now.
96
00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:27,032
My husband is killing his hogs.
97
00:14:32,337 --> 00:14:33,505
Would you like to come in?
98
00:14:34,572 --> 00:14:35,875
Yes, I'd love that.
99
00:14:39,711 --> 00:14:42,181
Or we could just stay
out on the porch, shivering.
100
00:14:47,118 --> 00:14:48,420
I know it's the dullest
of all things
101
00:14:48,453 --> 00:14:49,988
to have an ignorant neighbor
come by
102
00:14:50,021 --> 00:14:51,590
and spoil a Sunday afternoon.
103
00:14:51,623 --> 00:14:53,458
Oh, no,
you're the most welcome here.
104
00:14:53,491 --> 00:14:55,961
But I know the feeling.
105
00:14:55,994 --> 00:14:58,630
Sometimes, I imagine during
the Widow Weldon's visits
106
00:14:58,663 --> 00:15:02,434
that I've been plunged up to
my eyes in a vat of the prosaic.
107
00:15:02,467 --> 00:15:04,102
Oh, Widow Weldon!
108
00:15:04,135 --> 00:15:05,704
She got going on the county
levy once...
109
00:15:05,737 --> 00:15:08,440
She saw
I had noticed her hair,
110
00:15:08,473 --> 00:15:11,176
and admitted she had been vain
about it as a girl.
111
00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:14,112
She said that back then,
she'd worn it longer
112
00:15:14,145 --> 00:15:17,049
and plaited in a bun
at the back of her head.
113
00:15:19,484 --> 00:15:22,421
In the winter sun
through the window,
114
00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:25,324
her skin had an underflush
of rose and violet
115
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:29,161
which so disconcerted me
that I had to look away.
116
00:15:34,032 --> 00:15:35,167
As always,
117
00:15:36,267 --> 00:15:38,036
when it came to speaking
118
00:15:38,069 --> 00:15:41,974
and attempting to engage
another's affections,
119
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:45,577
circumstances doomed me
to striving and anxiety.
120
00:15:47,412 --> 00:15:51,550
From my earliest youth,
I was like a pot-bound root,
121
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:53,986
all curled in upon itself.
122
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:56,188
I hope I'm not keeping you
from something.
123
00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:57,222
No.
124
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,327
I'm glad you've come.
125
00:16:03,428 --> 00:16:06,031
Finney saw your husband
at the cooperage.
126
00:16:06,064 --> 00:16:08,467
He mentioned his new method
for farrowing his piglets.
127
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:12,604
With some asperity?
128
00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:15,174
My husband mentions everything
with some asperity.
129
00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:19,311
I told him that once,
130
00:16:20,345 --> 00:16:21,546
and...
131
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:24,082
he observed in response that
it seemed to be quite a favor
132
00:16:24,115 --> 00:16:25,584
to get a kind word from me.
133
00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:27,419
And I told him that if he
was married to himself,
134
00:16:27,452 --> 00:16:29,488
he'd soon find out
what a favor it was.
135
00:16:31,189 --> 00:16:32,591
My mother always said
that having children
136
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:34,126
would resolve that dilemma.
137
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:37,096
My mother made the same claim.
138
00:16:39,664 --> 00:16:40,699
And yet...
139
00:16:41,766 --> 00:16:43,068
Here we are...
140
00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:45,771
Both childless.
141
00:16:50,341 --> 00:16:52,578
My daughter, Nellie,
would have been five today.
142
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:56,615
Oh.
143
00:16:56,648 --> 00:16:58,017
How did she pass?
144
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,587
Diphtheria.
145
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:03,789
Last September.
146
00:17:05,757 --> 00:17:07,159
I'm so sorry.
147
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,268
-Hello.
-Oh.
148
00:17:16,734 --> 00:17:17,736
Good afternoon.
149
00:17:18,436 --> 00:17:19,438
I'm Dyer.
150
00:17:20,738 --> 00:17:21,740
Tallie.
151
00:17:27,612 --> 00:17:29,548
Oh, it's late, isn't it?
I should be getting on.
152
00:17:31,549 --> 00:17:33,118
Don't go on my account.
153
00:17:33,151 --> 00:17:34,186
Oh, no.
154
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:38,256
That's a nice wrap you have.
155
00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:40,092
Thank you.
156
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,194
I never receive compliments
for my clothes.
157
00:17:47,432 --> 00:17:49,234
I'm so glad you've come.
158
00:17:49,267 --> 00:17:50,702
Meeting you has made my day.
159
00:17:51,436 --> 00:17:52,438
It has?
160
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:55,207
Well...
161
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,243
How pleasant and uncommon
it is to make someone's day.
162
00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:02,481
Thursday, February 14th.
163
00:18:04,549 --> 00:18:06,618
Dyer's third night
with the fever.
164
00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:11,590
Drink this.
165
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:30,776
I plan on getting sick
more often.
166
00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:34,346
My wife smiles at me.
167
00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:45,124
Promise me you're not gonna die.
168
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:50,729
That would be the opposite
of my intention.
169
00:18:57,335 --> 00:18:58,570
I've restored
him somewhat
170
00:18:58,603 --> 00:19:00,338
with an enema of molasses,
171
00:19:00,371 --> 00:19:01,874
warm water and lard.
172
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:06,545
Also a drop of turpentine
next to his nose.
173
00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:13,485
I spent the day reconsidering
my conversation with Tallie.
174
00:19:15,486 --> 00:19:18,256
We compared childhood beds...
175
00:19:18,289 --> 00:19:19,390
Mine in which the straw
176
00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:22,527
was always breaking up
and thinning out.
177
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,764
And hers, which was as hard,
she claimed,
178
00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:27,499
as the Pharaoh's heart.
179
00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:33,372
I should be
taking care of you.
180
00:19:34,772 --> 00:19:35,774
I agree.
181
00:19:43,681 --> 00:19:47,652
Her manner is sweet
and calm and gracious.
182
00:19:47,685 --> 00:19:49,588
And yet her spirits
seem to quicken
183
00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:52,457
at the prospect of
further conversation with me.
184
00:19:55,026 --> 00:19:57,362
I find that everything
I wish to tell her
185
00:19:57,395 --> 00:20:00,232
loses its eloquence
in her presence.
186
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:05,470
So how did you come
to meet Dyer?
187
00:20:05,503 --> 00:20:07,405
He was the oldest son
of a neighbor.
188
00:20:07,438 --> 00:20:09,241
He helped out
on my father's farm.
189
00:20:10,341 --> 00:20:12,477
And was he instantly smitten
by you?
190
00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:14,980
He was, wasn't he?
191
00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:16,815
He was instantly smitten by you.
192
00:20:20,785 --> 00:20:25,490
He admired what he viewed
as my practical good sense.
193
00:20:25,523 --> 00:20:28,960
You don't countenance words
like "smitten", do you?
194
00:20:28,993 --> 00:20:31,296
I suspect I use
all the same words you do.
195
00:20:31,329 --> 00:20:33,465
I suspect you don't.
196
00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:35,267
In speech,
yes, because you're shy.
197
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,002
But I bet you're more
accomplished in your writing.
198
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:43,675
Thank you.
199
00:20:45,943 --> 00:20:49,414
Your good sense, that's all
your husband was smitten with?
200
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,253
And my efficient habits.
201
00:20:55,386 --> 00:20:56,421
That's all?
202
00:20:56,954 --> 00:20:58,423
My handy ways.
203
00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:04,529
Dyer likes mechanical things.
204
00:21:06,998 --> 00:21:08,533
I have no doubt he would've
been happier
205
00:21:08,566 --> 00:21:09,968
had he been allowed to pursue
206
00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:12,871
the natural scientific bent
of his mind.
207
00:21:12,904 --> 00:21:15,040
Circumstances forced him
into farming.
208
00:21:16,674 --> 00:21:20,045
And despite all of that,
his heart compelled him to you?
209
00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:25,450
Well...
210
00:21:25,483 --> 00:21:28,486
You would have to ask him
about that.
211
00:21:28,519 --> 00:21:30,355
And what would you say
if I asked you?
212
00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:42,968
I suppose that as a suitor,
he was...
213
00:21:44,068 --> 00:21:47,038
not generous, but he was just.
214
00:21:47,071 --> 00:21:50,375
And that he was affectionate,
if not constant.
215
00:21:59,517 --> 00:22:01,453
I wasn't sure
of his suitability.
216
00:22:05,857 --> 00:22:08,393
But my family felt that more
improving
217
00:22:08,426 --> 00:22:09,494
might be in the offing.
218
00:22:11,662 --> 00:22:14,533
After all, it is a long lane
that has no turning.
219
00:22:20,004 --> 00:22:22,674
You both have much
to be thankful for.
220
00:22:25,676 --> 00:22:26,712
We do.
221
00:22:45,897 --> 00:22:47,132
It's still too soon.
222
00:22:50,802 --> 00:22:51,670
Sorry.
223
00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:54,706
Tuesday, February 19th.
224
00:23:02,713 --> 00:23:06,851
My reluctance seems
to have become his shame.
225
00:23:06,884 --> 00:23:10,822
His nighttime pleasures,
which were never numerous,
226
00:23:10,855 --> 00:23:13,591
have curtailed even more.
227
00:23:13,624 --> 00:23:17,462
And I have so far refused
to engage his persistence
228
00:23:17,495 --> 00:23:19,464
on the subject of another child.
229
00:23:54,065 --> 00:23:55,066
Evening.
230
00:23:56,501 --> 00:23:57,836
This is my
husband Finney.
231
00:23:57,869 --> 00:23:58,903
And you already know Dyer.
232
00:23:58,936 --> 00:23:59,971
Our paths have crossed.
233
00:24:00,004 --> 00:24:02,574
And this is the Abigail
that I've been mentioning.
234
00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:04,642
My wife talks about you as
if you're all about the house,
235
00:24:04,675 --> 00:24:05,876
and everything
reminds her of you.
236
00:24:05,910 --> 00:24:08,913
Oh, well, it's all I can do
but sit cross-legged and morose
237
00:24:08,946 --> 00:24:09,981
whenever she's away.
238
00:24:11,582 --> 00:24:13,651
-Come in.
-Thank you.
239
00:24:13,684 --> 00:24:16,455
The rain so heavy
that it broke down our mill.
240
00:24:20,758 --> 00:24:21,793
Did you miss me?
241
00:24:23,027 --> 00:24:24,062
Yes.
242
00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:26,765
You look different.
243
00:24:28,032 --> 00:24:29,100
No...
244
00:24:32,270 --> 00:24:33,839
Finney seems agreeable.
245
00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:38,543
Yes, he is,
when he chooses to be.
246
00:24:52,890 --> 00:24:55,059
I guess I'm
supposed to offer a toast.
247
00:24:55,092 --> 00:24:56,327
But when it comes
to the social graces,
248
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:59,297
I'm about as smooth as coming
down a rocky hill in the dark.
249
00:24:59,330 --> 00:25:01,032
What my husband means
is he's so happy
250
00:25:01,065 --> 00:25:02,200
to finally get together,
251
00:25:02,233 --> 00:25:03,668
and to see Dyer again.
252
00:25:06,938 --> 00:25:08,006
Cheers.
253
00:25:10,074 --> 00:25:11,676
Part of what I value
about my wife
254
00:25:11,709 --> 00:25:14,112
is how she taught me to
associate with my fellow beings.
255
00:25:19,116 --> 00:25:21,219
Finney, that's a handsome
neck tie you've chosen.
256
00:25:21,919 --> 00:25:23,021
Thank you.
257
00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:24,189
But with my neck,
258
00:25:24,222 --> 00:25:26,925
my head sticks out like a
chicken in a poultry wagon.
259
00:25:26,958 --> 00:25:28,293
Your tart was
wonderfully savory.
260
00:25:28,326 --> 00:25:29,961
Oh, did you like it?
I'm so glad.
261
00:25:29,994 --> 00:25:31,162
I was worried I wouldn't
have enough eggs
262
00:25:31,195 --> 00:25:33,698
-because we had an accident.
-Oh.
263
00:25:33,731 --> 00:25:36,568
My hired hand pulled down a
box of eggs and broke two dozen.
264
00:25:36,601 --> 00:25:38,236
I announced that he was
unlucky to eggs
265
00:25:38,269 --> 00:25:40,171
and no longer allowed
to approach them.
266
00:25:40,204 --> 00:25:43,174
"Unlucky to eggs."
I like that.
267
00:25:43,207 --> 00:25:45,843
I told him that his shirt
had so many holes,
268
00:25:45,876 --> 00:25:47,612
he can make a necklace of it.
269
00:25:47,645 --> 00:25:50,815
Well, we often wish
we could afford a hired hand.
270
00:25:50,848 --> 00:25:53,084
We've suffered a great deal from
the carelessness of hired hands.
271
00:25:53,117 --> 00:25:55,119
Mr. Holt's hired hand is said
to have swum his horse
272
00:25:55,152 --> 00:25:56,921
over the canal despite the cold.
273
00:25:56,954 --> 00:25:57,956
Really?
274
00:25:59,090 --> 00:26:00,758
Yes.
275
00:26:00,791 --> 00:26:01,960
Winter's been so hard,
276
00:26:01,993 --> 00:26:03,261
sometimes Mrs. Weldon's son
277
00:26:03,294 --> 00:26:05,897
has had to deliver the mail
on skis.
278
00:26:05,930 --> 00:26:08,700
Now our letters can get lost
at breakneck speed.
279
00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:10,969
Did you write letters to Tallie
when you were courting?
280
00:26:12,303 --> 00:26:13,305
I did.
281
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,642
And did Tallie keep them?
282
00:26:20,878 --> 00:26:22,347
Only Tallie knows for sure.
283
00:26:30,221 --> 00:26:32,890
Monday, February 25th.
284
00:26:44,835 --> 00:26:47,672
Finney and Tallie's bond
confounds me.
285
00:26:49,373 --> 00:26:51,242
At times, when their eyes meet,
286
00:26:51,275 --> 00:26:55,847
they seem yoked in opposition
to one another,
287
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,084
while at other times,
there seems a shared regard.
288
00:27:01,452 --> 00:27:03,388
There is something going on
between us
289
00:27:03,421 --> 00:27:05,023
that I cannot unravel.
290
00:27:08,693 --> 00:27:09,694
Hold this here.
291
00:27:16,834 --> 00:27:17,869
Okay.
292
00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:31,816
Thank you.
293
00:27:57,441 --> 00:27:58,677
Hello, Dyer.
294
00:27:59,744 --> 00:28:00,745
Well, hello.
295
00:28:01,312 --> 00:28:02,880
You're off?
296
00:28:02,913 --> 00:28:04,115
Yes, to town.
297
00:28:05,416 --> 00:28:06,818
Have a good day.
298
00:28:07,785 --> 00:28:09,020
She'll be pleased to see you.
299
00:28:20,030 --> 00:28:21,299
Happy birthday!
300
00:28:24,101 --> 00:28:25,403
Brought you some things.
301
00:28:29,774 --> 00:28:30,875
Hand-knitted?
302
00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:33,010
I hoped you'd like them.
303
00:28:33,043 --> 00:28:34,079
I do.
304
00:28:41,118 --> 00:28:42,153
An Atlas!
305
00:28:47,391 --> 00:28:49,394
The United States of America.
306
00:28:52,897 --> 00:28:55,433
Oh and a little pot of
apple sauce with an egg on top.
307
00:29:01,472 --> 00:29:03,007
My feet are freezing.
308
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:04,309
Oh, let me warm them.
309
00:29:17,121 --> 00:29:18,123
How's Finney?
310
00:29:20,157 --> 00:29:21,159
He's Finney.
311
00:29:33,437 --> 00:29:34,506
Ah, it tickles.
312
00:29:44,515 --> 00:29:47,252
My husband records
trespassers in his journals.
313
00:29:48,919 --> 00:29:50,488
And this morning,
when I asked him
314
00:29:50,521 --> 00:29:52,156
what he intends to do
about them,
315
00:29:52,189 --> 00:29:54,359
his response was so unpleasant
that I...
316
00:29:55,559 --> 00:29:57,028
resolved to visit you...
317
00:29:59,129 --> 00:30:00,832
so that there would be something
in my day
318
00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:02,200
other than his meanness.
319
00:30:06,036 --> 00:30:08,940
Dyer thinks he has
many estimable qualities.
320
00:30:08,973 --> 00:30:10,174
He does.
321
00:30:10,208 --> 00:30:13,144
And he also uses a ledger to
keep accounting of whom I visit
322
00:30:13,177 --> 00:30:14,345
and how long I stay.
323
00:30:14,378 --> 00:30:15,613
Why?
324
00:30:15,646 --> 00:30:17,181
I have no idea.
325
00:30:17,214 --> 00:30:18,616
As he's gotten more like this,
326
00:30:18,649 --> 00:30:20,451
I've given up trying
to figure out
327
00:30:20,484 --> 00:30:22,487
all the peculiarities of his...
328
00:30:24,121 --> 00:30:25,423
odd little world.
329
00:30:29,426 --> 00:30:32,463
I suppose he's especially
unhappy with me since...
330
00:30:34,498 --> 00:30:36,267
I'm yet to give him a child.
331
00:30:44,541 --> 00:30:46,077
What does it feel like?
332
00:30:48,345 --> 00:30:50,048
Like nothing at first.
333
00:30:51,148 --> 00:30:54,085
But then when she began
to stir...
334
00:30:54,118 --> 00:30:56,354
it's like butterflies
flapping their wings.
335
00:30:58,589 --> 00:31:01,125
Later, like a rabbit...
336
00:31:01,158 --> 00:31:03,027
when she kicked her legs
at night.
337
00:31:06,497 --> 00:31:07,899
It frightens me.
338
00:31:13,570 --> 00:31:15,373
The thought of having
none of that.
339
00:31:21,412 --> 00:31:22,547
And of giving birth.
340
00:31:23,614 --> 00:31:25,416
Most of us feel that way.
341
00:31:28,352 --> 00:31:29,354
But...
342
00:31:30,554 --> 00:31:33,925
when the time comes,
I will be there...
343
00:31:33,958 --> 00:31:35,226
to guide you through it.
344
00:31:44,001 --> 00:31:45,436
Dyer must want another child.
345
00:31:52,443 --> 00:31:53,478
I understand.
346
00:32:29,380 --> 00:32:30,448
Birthday gifts.
347
00:32:42,793 --> 00:32:44,329
A box of raisins.
348
00:32:45,729 --> 00:32:47,598
That needle case
you've been needing.
349
00:32:47,631 --> 00:32:49,200
And a tin of sardines.
350
00:32:50,100 --> 00:32:51,102
You spoil me.
351
00:32:53,737 --> 00:32:57,075
Oh, you got gifts
from your new friend.
352
00:33:00,544 --> 00:33:02,013
She left hours ago.
353
00:33:05,115 --> 00:33:06,284
I just saw her leave.
354
00:33:16,260 --> 00:33:17,361
The great storm began
355
00:33:17,395 --> 00:33:20,798
with a faint groaning
in the northeast.
356
00:33:20,831 --> 00:33:23,668
It was like a noise
of a locomotive.
357
00:34:20,390 --> 00:34:21,426
Help!
358
00:34:58,829 --> 00:35:00,631
Come closer, girl.
359
00:35:00,664 --> 00:35:02,166
It's warmer over here.
360
00:35:23,287 --> 00:35:25,756
I'm sorry, I'll be going.
361
00:35:25,789 --> 00:35:27,125
You should wait it out.
362
00:35:36,934 --> 00:35:38,136
Come on, mare.
363
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:04,662
Dyer!
364
00:36:13,704 --> 00:36:14,906
Dyer!
365
00:36:38,662 --> 00:36:39,964
Dyer!
366
00:37:00,050 --> 00:37:03,454
How long would it be
before I receive word of Tallie?
367
00:37:05,656 --> 00:37:07,225
How long could I wait?
368
00:37:10,861 --> 00:37:12,797
How long will the feed
in the barn last?
369
00:37:15,932 --> 00:37:18,769
Each cow eats 26 pounds
of forage every day.
370
00:37:19,936 --> 00:37:22,306
You should know that.
371
00:37:22,339 --> 00:37:25,843
They start to skinny down
after three days.
372
00:37:25,876 --> 00:37:28,679
Heard the newspaper predicts
the storm'll let up by then.
373
00:37:28,712 --> 00:37:29,947
But that's probably based on
374
00:37:29,980 --> 00:37:32,383
an expert's consultation
of a goose bone.
375
00:37:43,994 --> 00:37:47,465
"In a real crisis of nature,
we're all at another's mercy."
376
00:37:47,998 --> 00:37:49,033
Yes.
377
00:37:51,368 --> 00:37:52,369
My mother liked to say,
378
00:37:52,403 --> 00:37:55,039
"We tumble from one
mortification to another."
379
00:38:01,978 --> 00:38:05,049
When I was seven, an earthquake
knocked down our house and barn.
380
00:38:07,584 --> 00:38:08,586
Did I tell you?
381
00:38:09,586 --> 00:38:10,621
Never.
382
00:38:11,822 --> 00:38:13,557
-An earthquake?
-Yes.
383
00:38:16,460 --> 00:38:18,329
I remember something woke me
before dawn.
384
00:38:18,362 --> 00:38:19,563
I don't know what.
385
00:38:21,665 --> 00:38:23,000
My father was calling out.
386
00:38:25,902 --> 00:38:29,473
But I couldn't tear myself
away from the window.
387
00:38:29,506 --> 00:38:33,811
I saw birds fluttering
in the air, afraid to set down.
388
00:38:33,844 --> 00:38:36,380
The river was roiling,
and I couldn't move.
389
00:38:38,382 --> 00:38:39,417
And then...
390
00:38:44,154 --> 00:38:47,658
Finally, I jumped down
to our collapsed stairwell,
391
00:38:49,793 --> 00:38:51,695
as all my brothers
had done before me.
392
00:38:51,728 --> 00:38:54,065
And we all huddled together
in the dark on the porch.
393
00:39:04,474 --> 00:39:05,909
Later, my mother said
394
00:39:05,942 --> 00:39:08,746
that the dread never fully
went away after that.
395
00:39:13,450 --> 00:39:15,953
She said, "What was safe if
the solid earth could do that?"
396
00:39:19,189 --> 00:39:22,927
Mother.
397
00:39:41,545 --> 00:39:43,147
Tallie! You're frozen!
398
00:39:48,718 --> 00:39:51,588
Tallie! Stay awake!
Stay awake!
399
00:39:51,621 --> 00:39:53,591
Open your eyes! Open your eyes!
400
00:39:58,995 --> 00:39:59,997
Keep your eyes open!
401
00:40:00,864 --> 00:40:01,866
Keep your eyes open!
402
00:40:03,733 --> 00:40:04,969
Look at me.
403
00:40:07,103 --> 00:40:08,839
I would die without you.
404
00:40:16,079 --> 00:40:17,548
Then you're safe.
405
00:40:19,649 --> 00:40:20,885
Because I am here.
406
00:40:22,986 --> 00:40:25,089
Monday, March 17th.
407
00:40:41,271 --> 00:40:44,174
Half the chickens are lost.
408
00:40:44,207 --> 00:40:47,811
I dug ice and snow
from their dead open mouths
409
00:40:47,844 --> 00:40:50,481
in an attempt to revive them.
410
00:41:23,813 --> 00:41:24,849
Hobnails...
411
00:41:26,149 --> 00:41:27,551
For better traction.
412
00:41:30,854 --> 00:41:32,956
The Widow Weldon's
son, on his rounds,
413
00:41:32,989 --> 00:41:36,059
reported that Tallie
had gotten home safely,
414
00:41:36,092 --> 00:41:38,896
with, he thought,
only a bit of frostbite.
415
00:41:38,929 --> 00:41:41,065
We haven't seen your friend
down the lane for a while.
416
00:41:42,098 --> 00:41:44,101
Finney took her to Oneonta.
417
00:41:47,871 --> 00:41:49,907
So everything is tedious
and lonesome?
418
00:41:51,207 --> 00:41:53,577
Thursday, April 10th.
419
00:41:57,814 --> 00:42:00,150
Biscuits and dried mackerel
for breakfast.
420
00:42:02,052 --> 00:42:04,721
Dyer has augmented
the padding in the cattle pens
421
00:42:04,754 --> 00:42:07,658
with his hoardings
of maple leaves and old straw.
422
00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:12,096
It always seems
that Tallie will never appear.
423
00:42:13,863 --> 00:42:16,733
But I remind myself that time
and the needle wear
424
00:42:16,766 --> 00:42:18,269
through the longest morning.
425
00:42:19,869 --> 00:42:22,206
And I have noted
that when she does arrive,
426
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:27,144
my heart is like a leaf
borne over a rock
427
00:42:27,177 --> 00:42:29,279
by rapidly moving water.
428
00:42:50,300 --> 00:42:51,368
Hello. Oh!
429
00:42:51,401 --> 00:42:53,303
Oh! Careful.
430
00:42:55,405 --> 00:42:58,075
Stay. Sit, sit.
431
00:43:05,015 --> 00:43:07,818
Saturday, April 12th.
432
00:43:07,851 --> 00:43:11,188
-I spent the last two days...
-Very damp, cloudy and cool.
433
00:43:12,355 --> 00:43:14,024
Smoky.
434
00:43:14,057 --> 00:43:16,727
Perhaps the forest
is somewhere on fire.
435
00:43:19,229 --> 00:43:21,865
Your nose is being gracious.
436
00:43:21,898 --> 00:43:24,935
Monday, April 14th.
437
00:43:24,968 --> 00:43:27,704
A terribly bad spring so far,
438
00:43:27,737 --> 00:43:30,040
but the clover
has come up through it,
439
00:43:30,073 --> 00:43:31,308
and is all right.
440
00:43:33,243 --> 00:43:34,244
And how's Finney?
441
00:43:35,412 --> 00:43:36,947
The soul of patience.
442
00:43:38,314 --> 00:43:41,185
He's mentioning again the idea
of migrating west.
443
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:45,623
You're planning on moving west?
444
00:43:46,690 --> 00:43:48,859
Perhaps.
445
00:43:48,892 --> 00:43:53,163
I had an uncle who moved to Ohio
and came to a desperate end.
446
00:43:53,196 --> 00:43:55,699
Which is what one
might expect from Ohio.
447
00:43:57,734 --> 00:43:59,837
-Tomorrow?
-Hm.
448
00:44:04,908 --> 00:44:07,978
Thursday, April 17th.
449
00:44:08,011 --> 00:44:11,348
Rain in torrents
nearly all night.
450
00:44:11,381 --> 00:44:14,918
The lane is flooded
and the ditches brim full.
451
00:44:14,951 --> 00:44:17,988
This morning,
only a slight shower.
452
00:44:18,021 --> 00:44:20,891
Tallie came later
than her usual time today.
453
00:44:22,158 --> 00:44:24,061
She offered no explanation.
454
00:44:47,283 --> 00:44:51,855
I'm sorry that your childhood
was anything less than joyous.
455
00:44:51,888 --> 00:44:53,223
Joyous it was not.
456
00:44:54,390 --> 00:44:56,093
But I made my own happinesses.
457
00:44:59,195 --> 00:45:02,432
My husband says, "God
puts heavy stones in your path,
458
00:45:02,465 --> 00:45:04,101
it's up to us
to step over them."
459
00:45:06,836 --> 00:45:08,872
Stones are what
the fortunate receive.
460
00:45:10,173 --> 00:45:14,111
My mother's mother was born
in 1780
461
00:45:14,144 --> 00:45:15,979
right here in Schoharie County.
462
00:45:17,981 --> 00:45:20,484
I often wonder at the courage
463
00:45:20,517 --> 00:45:22,453
and the resourcefulness
of those women.
464
00:45:24,420 --> 00:45:27,390
Imagine faring forth
into a wilderness,
465
00:45:27,423 --> 00:45:29,960
hoping to build the foundations
of a home.
466
00:45:34,297 --> 00:45:37,201
Maybe they had a certain high
hopefulness that we don't have.
467
00:45:46,009 --> 00:45:47,044
When can you come?
468
00:45:48,244 --> 00:45:49,279
Tuesday.
469
00:45:56,085 --> 00:45:57,220
-Hello, Tallie!
-Good day.
470
00:45:57,253 --> 00:45:59,122
Was your afternoon gladsome?
471
00:45:59,155 --> 00:46:00,224
Yes, it was, very.
472
00:46:03,393 --> 00:46:05,129
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
473
00:46:10,233 --> 00:46:12,169
I felt,
474
00:46:12,202 --> 00:46:14,871
looking at her expression,
475
00:46:14,904 --> 00:46:18,809
as if she were
in full sail on a flood tide,
476
00:46:18,842 --> 00:46:21,278
while I bobbed
along down backwards.
477
00:46:22,145 --> 00:46:23,947
And yet,
478
00:46:23,980 --> 00:46:27,217
I never say on her countenance
the indifference
479
00:46:27,250 --> 00:46:30,287
of fortunate
towards the less fortunate.
480
00:47:02,385 --> 00:47:03,387
Good day.
481
00:47:04,153 --> 00:47:05,222
Good day.
482
00:47:05,255 --> 00:47:06,256
Are you sick, too?
483
00:47:07,290 --> 00:47:08,325
Not at all.
484
00:47:09,459 --> 00:47:11,128
I was hoping to compare colds.
485
00:47:12,629 --> 00:47:14,031
I'll make you tea and honey?
486
00:47:40,456 --> 00:47:41,491
What?
487
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:44,928
Every morning I wake up
488
00:47:44,961 --> 00:47:47,631
and I think that I never
want to be far from you.
489
00:47:58,107 --> 00:48:00,277
And under your influence,
since you're so good with words,
490
00:48:00,310 --> 00:48:01,378
I've composed a poem.
491
00:48:04,580 --> 00:48:07,250
It's entitled...
492
00:48:07,283 --> 00:48:09,286
"Oh, Sick and Miserable Heart,
Be Still."
493
00:48:17,260 --> 00:48:18,662
When I was a little girl,
494
00:48:18,695 --> 00:48:20,664
I thought I could cultivate
my intellect
495
00:48:20,697 --> 00:48:22,966
and do something for the world.
496
00:48:25,735 --> 00:48:30,307
But my life has surprised me
by being far more ordinary.
497
00:48:36,079 --> 00:48:37,247
You're talking about that moment
498
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:41,117
that I have dreamed about,
when we're carried in triumph
499
00:48:41,150 --> 00:48:44,387
for having done something
wonderful or received at home
500
00:48:44,420 --> 00:48:47,991
with tears and shouts of joy.
501
00:48:48,024 --> 00:48:49,226
Do you know what I wonder?
502
00:49:00,336 --> 00:49:02,505
Is it possible...
503
00:49:02,538 --> 00:49:05,475
that such a moment hasn't
yet come for either of us?
504
00:49:08,211 --> 00:49:09,513
I think it has.
505
00:49:13,516 --> 00:49:14,651
Or that it could.
506
00:49:15,284 --> 00:49:16,286
You do.
507
00:49:18,388 --> 00:49:19,423
So what do you think?
508
00:49:21,124 --> 00:49:22,326
What do you think about us?
509
00:49:27,263 --> 00:49:29,132
I don't know how
to put it into words.
510
00:49:29,165 --> 00:49:30,167
Well, try.
511
00:49:32,402 --> 00:49:34,004
-I have tried.
-Well, try again.
512
00:49:34,037 --> 00:49:35,272
What do you imagine?
513
00:49:41,511 --> 00:49:43,179
I imagine that I love
514
00:49:43,212 --> 00:49:46,283
how our encircling feelings
leave nothing out...
515
00:49:48,284 --> 00:49:49,753
for us to want or seek.
516
00:49:54,590 --> 00:49:56,326
I've presumed too much.
517
00:50:06,569 --> 00:50:09,205
It's been my experience
that it's not always those
518
00:50:09,238 --> 00:50:13,410
who show the least
who actually feel the least.
519
00:50:21,484 --> 00:50:23,320
Just my dog's toenails
on the wood.
520
00:50:44,407 --> 00:50:46,676
Why didn't you do
what you attempted to do?
521
00:51:27,183 --> 00:51:28,685
I worry you'll catch my cold.
522
00:51:31,354 --> 00:51:33,523
You smell like a biscuit.
523
00:51:41,297 --> 00:51:42,666
I have to go home.
524
00:52:02,618 --> 00:52:04,588
Astonishment and joy.
525
00:52:12,662 --> 00:52:14,798
Astonishment and joy.
526
00:52:26,309 --> 00:52:28,578
Astonishment and joy.
527
00:52:53,002 --> 00:52:55,472
You haven't accomplished
any of your responsibilities.
528
00:52:57,907 --> 00:53:00,911
-Do you need assistance?
-No, I don't think so.
529
00:53:14,957 --> 00:53:16,927
So it's a cold plate
for supper tonight?
530
00:53:27,670 --> 00:53:28,838
I'll milk the cows.
531
00:54:06,842 --> 00:54:08,645
Friday, May 30th.
532
00:54:11,314 --> 00:54:13,449
The sunshine streaming
through the branches
533
00:54:13,482 --> 00:54:16,820
makes a tremendous farrago
of light and shade.
534
00:54:23,526 --> 00:54:27,430
We hold our friendship
between us and study it,
535
00:54:28,998 --> 00:54:32,502
as if it were the incomplete
map of our escape.
536
00:54:41,977 --> 00:54:43,513
When the day is done,
537
00:54:44,647 --> 00:54:46,082
my mind turns to her,
538
00:54:46,115 --> 00:54:48,451
and I think,
with a special heat,
539
00:54:50,519 --> 00:54:52,689
"Why are we to be separated?"
540
00:55:15,378 --> 00:55:17,780
Your smile stopped.
Is it meant for someone else?
541
00:55:17,813 --> 00:55:19,516
Sorry, my mind was elsewhere.
542
00:55:25,054 --> 00:55:27,424
We need calico and buttons
and shoe thread.
543
00:55:32,762 --> 00:55:35,065
Am I troubling you,
sitting here with you like this?
544
00:55:36,732 --> 00:55:37,767
Not at all.
545
00:55:43,773 --> 00:55:44,907
I may be late coming to it,
546
00:55:44,940 --> 00:55:46,976
but I've learned
consideration of others.
547
00:55:49,979 --> 00:55:51,881
I've learned the need
for human sympathy
548
00:55:53,649 --> 00:55:55,018
and the unfulfilled want of it.
549
00:55:56,986 --> 00:55:58,922
I feel I've provided you
with sympathy.
550
00:56:01,891 --> 00:56:03,393
I suppose that's so.
551
00:56:19,875 --> 00:56:21,010
The smile returns.
552
00:56:29,185 --> 00:56:30,487
Good day.
553
00:56:43,866 --> 00:56:48,137
Oh.
554
00:56:48,170 --> 00:56:50,440
I believe that intimacy
increases goodwill.
555
00:56:51,173 --> 00:56:53,443
And if that's the case,
556
00:56:53,476 --> 00:56:54,811
then every minute
we spend together
557
00:56:54,844 --> 00:56:56,746
will make us
more cheerful workers.
558
00:56:59,515 --> 00:57:01,084
Won't our farms benefit
from that?
559
00:57:02,551 --> 00:57:03,620
Won't our husbands?
560
00:57:06,856 --> 00:57:08,691
All our burdens
will be lightened.
561
00:57:35,084 --> 00:57:38,855
When she left,
I was like a skiff at sea
562
00:57:38,888 --> 00:57:41,858
with neither hand nor helm
to guide it.
563
00:57:44,693 --> 00:57:47,096
They're cleaning out the drain
under the street along the fork.
564
00:57:50,566 --> 00:57:52,569
And several people
are down with fever.
565
00:57:58,274 --> 00:58:01,143
Holt came by to hang the bacon.
566
00:58:01,176 --> 00:58:03,913
He still hasn't recovered from
being beaten by two strangers.
567
00:58:05,247 --> 00:58:08,618
He had to be hauled to his home
in his cart.
568
00:58:08,651 --> 00:58:10,553
He said the men who did it
were gonna kill him,
569
00:58:10,586 --> 00:58:12,989
and then realized they were
mistaken as to who he was.
570
00:58:13,022 --> 00:58:14,657
Lately, it seems like
all you talk about
571
00:58:14,690 --> 00:58:16,159
are highwaymen
and house breakers.
572
00:58:23,566 --> 00:58:25,268
On the contrary,
573
00:58:25,301 --> 00:58:27,203
I often defer
to your sensitivities.
574
00:58:29,271 --> 00:58:30,740
And I haven't even
told you about
575
00:58:30,773 --> 00:58:32,308
all the reports
in the county of men
576
00:58:32,341 --> 00:58:34,944
who've poisoned
and killed their wives
577
00:58:34,977 --> 00:58:37,113
because I haven't found it
a fitting subject for supper.
578
00:58:40,950 --> 00:58:43,052
"Killed their wives,"
he used those words?
579
00:58:43,085 --> 00:58:44,621
Mm-hm. those words.
580
00:58:46,088 --> 00:58:48,658
Have you had any disagreements?
581
00:58:48,691 --> 00:58:50,993
Yes, about my wifely duties.
582
00:58:51,026 --> 00:58:53,530
I told him that I was opposed
to it, that I was not willing.
583
00:58:56,265 --> 00:58:57,634
And he accepted that?
584
00:58:59,034 --> 00:59:00,937
Well, he hasn't
touched me since, so...
585
00:59:12,948 --> 00:59:14,617
But I made myself
feel better...
586
00:59:15,951 --> 00:59:17,220
by composing a poem.
587
00:59:18,921 --> 00:59:20,323
Can I read
you the opening stanza?
588
00:59:21,857 --> 00:59:23,359
You can read me the entire poem.
589
00:59:23,392 --> 00:59:25,328
No, I'll start with
the opening stanza.
590
00:59:31,967 --> 00:59:33,736
"I love flowering gardens.
591
00:59:34,336 --> 00:59:36,639
I love creeping plants.
592
00:59:36,672 --> 00:59:38,841
I love walking in the air,
593
00:59:38,874 --> 00:59:40,643
but I fear swarming ants."
594
00:59:45,748 --> 00:59:47,817
I don't think I can
support the rhyme.
595
00:59:52,921 --> 00:59:54,724
You see why I didn't
read the whole thing?
596
00:59:55,791 --> 00:59:57,193
I'm sorry.
597
00:59:57,226 --> 00:59:59,662
I've always been contrary
and maladroit.
598
01:00:05,934 --> 01:00:07,770
Earlier, I... I felt that...
599
01:00:10,005 --> 01:00:13,909
whenever I would draw close
to you, you would retreat,
600
01:00:13,942 --> 01:00:16,312
and that, if I kept still,
you would return
601
01:00:16,345 --> 01:00:19,248
but you'd stay at a distance,
like those sparrows
602
01:00:19,281 --> 01:00:22,251
that stay in the farmyard
and won't come into the house.
603
01:00:23,786 --> 01:00:26,822
-That's not how I feel.
-How do you feel, then?
604
01:00:26,855 --> 01:00:28,758
When I was in school,
605
01:00:28,791 --> 01:00:30,426
the teacher had me
read "Cordelia"
606
01:00:30,459 --> 01:00:32,028
to an older boy's "King Lear."
607
01:00:33,462 --> 01:00:34,363
Near the end of the play,
608
01:00:34,397 --> 01:00:37,400
the king and his daughter
are imprisoned,
609
01:00:37,433 --> 01:00:39,636
but he views it
in a positive way.
610
01:00:41,170 --> 01:00:43,940
"Come, let's away to prison,"
he says.
611
01:00:45,874 --> 01:00:49,278
"We two alone shall sing
like birds in a cage."
612
01:00:50,379 --> 01:00:51,414
Imprisoned...
613
01:00:54,016 --> 01:00:55,318
In a positive way?
614
01:00:56,785 --> 01:01:00,289
Well, maybe that one has to read
the entire play.
615
01:01:00,322 --> 01:01:02,324
It may be only in plays
where people
616
01:01:02,357 --> 01:01:05,294
are imprisoned
in a positive way.
617
01:01:05,327 --> 01:01:07,964
You don't think there's a cage
that could work to our benefit?
618
01:01:14,103 --> 01:01:15,204
I just...
619
01:01:19,842 --> 01:01:21,044
I only know that...
620
01:01:24,012 --> 01:01:25,448
I've never liked cages.
621
01:01:45,267 --> 01:01:48,771
I hope you had a good afternoon
in Shangri-La or Timbuktu,
622
01:01:48,804 --> 01:01:49,972
wherever it is you've been.
623
01:01:50,005 --> 01:01:51,874
I had a busy afternoon, yes.
624
01:01:51,907 --> 01:01:53,175
I would think.
625
01:01:53,208 --> 01:01:55,211
Five hours you've been gone.
626
01:01:55,244 --> 01:01:56,378
I went to the drapers.
627
01:01:56,411 --> 01:01:58,848
I couldn't find anything
I liked.
628
01:01:58,881 --> 01:02:00,783
Then I stopped by the tinker
for a sack of coffee,
629
01:02:00,816 --> 01:02:03,419
but he's now asking 60 cents,
and I only had 50.
630
01:02:03,452 --> 01:02:05,387
Then I thought I would buy you
a treat of some kind,
631
01:02:05,420 --> 01:02:07,123
but Mr. Arnolds reminded me
632
01:02:07,156 --> 01:02:09,025
that I still owed
for my last transactions so...
633
01:02:10,926 --> 01:02:12,795
I was forced
to close up my purse.
634
01:02:15,330 --> 01:02:17,133
Tell me everything
about your day.
635
01:02:17,166 --> 01:02:18,267
Don't hold anything back.
636
01:02:18,301 --> 01:02:21,370
You're not interested in
how your wife spends her time.
637
01:02:21,403 --> 01:02:23,372
I don't feel I have a wife.
638
01:02:23,405 --> 01:02:26,308
I feel I have a selfish whore
who...
639
01:02:26,341 --> 01:02:28,811
who'd rather wander off
to another man's house
640
01:02:28,844 --> 01:02:30,246
than contribute any labor.
641
01:02:35,117 --> 01:02:36,952
Well, Dyer was off
in the fields,
642
01:02:36,985 --> 01:02:39,155
and her house
is on the way back home, so...
643
01:02:41,223 --> 01:02:42,792
So it's just Abigail and you
644
01:02:42,825 --> 01:02:45,261
tittering and gossiping
away the hours?
645
01:02:45,294 --> 01:02:48,397
Enjoying each other's company.
646
01:02:48,430 --> 01:02:51,867
I have certain expectations,
and you have certain duties.
647
01:02:51,900 --> 01:02:54,837
We've talked all night and day
about your expectations.
648
01:02:57,239 --> 01:02:58,574
I will not stay with a woman
649
01:02:58,607 --> 01:03:00,876
if it continually requires
contention.
650
01:03:00,909 --> 01:03:03,345
Well, then you shouldn't stay
with me, should you?
651
01:03:03,378 --> 01:03:05,114
Don't ask for more
than you can handle.
652
01:03:13,889 --> 01:03:17,326
Sunday, June 8th.
653
01:03:17,359 --> 01:03:20,930
All afternoon, a hawk has been
using a single cloud above us
654
01:03:20,963 --> 01:03:22,832
-as its own parasol.
655
01:03:38,914 --> 01:03:41,083
To ward off others of its kind.
656
01:03:55,430 --> 01:03:59,402
Our whole house now
seems both angry and repentant.
657
01:04:03,105 --> 01:04:04,273
God help us.
658
01:04:32,100 --> 01:04:35,204
When three days went by
without a word from her,
659
01:04:35,237 --> 01:04:38,340
I stole over to her house
to look on her
660
01:04:38,373 --> 01:04:40,109
from what I imagined to be
661
01:04:40,142 --> 01:04:42,211
a vantage point
of perfect safety.
662
01:04:50,619 --> 01:04:54,323
By turning the lens piece,
I could draw her face nearer,
663
01:04:54,356 --> 01:04:57,960
and hold it there
until she turned away.
664
01:04:57,993 --> 01:05:00,496
Her image provoked
a sensation in me
665
01:05:00,529 --> 01:05:03,132
like the violence
that sends a floating branch
666
01:05:03,165 --> 01:05:06,168
far out over
a waterfall's precipice
667
01:05:06,201 --> 01:05:08,137
-before it plummets.
668
01:05:22,017 --> 01:05:25,154
"For the wife does not have
the authority over her own body,
669
01:05:25,187 --> 01:05:26,221
but the husband does.
670
01:05:26,254 --> 01:05:27,656
Do not deprive one another,
671
01:05:27,689 --> 01:05:29,491
so that Satan may not tempt you
672
01:05:29,524 --> 01:05:31,694
because of your lack
of self-control."
673
01:05:31,727 --> 01:05:35,331
Ephesians 5:33. "Submit to your
own husbands, as to the Lord..."
674
01:05:35,364 --> 01:05:37,433
Monday, June 9th.
675
01:05:53,615 --> 01:05:55,051
Merciful father...
676
01:05:56,618 --> 01:05:59,055
Turn the channel of events.
677
01:06:12,534 --> 01:06:15,504
Wednesday, June 11th.
678
01:06:19,741 --> 01:06:23,012
Dyer has been silent all day,
679
01:06:23,045 --> 01:06:25,514
and I was happy to be left
in my solitude.
680
01:06:39,728 --> 01:06:40,763
Hello!
681
01:06:41,830 --> 01:06:43,699
Tallie...
682
01:06:43,732 --> 01:06:45,234
We haven't seen you for days.
683
01:06:47,135 --> 01:06:48,170
Have you been ill?
684
01:06:50,105 --> 01:06:51,507
-Nothing serious, I hope.
- Ho!
685
01:06:54,342 --> 01:06:55,411
She's been under the weather.
686
01:06:57,279 --> 01:07:00,215
- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.
687
01:07:00,248 --> 01:07:03,385
We want to invite you to dinner
again this Saturday next.
688
01:07:03,418 --> 01:07:06,355
But it's our turn.
We should be feasting you.
689
01:07:06,388 --> 01:07:08,290
In the meantime,
please be our guests.
690
01:07:09,758 --> 01:07:10,760
We'd love to.
691
01:07:11,426 --> 01:07:12,461
Six?
692
01:07:13,495 --> 01:07:15,097
- Six it is.
-Hup!
693
01:07:33,181 --> 01:07:34,817
My mother once told me
in a fury
694
01:07:34,850 --> 01:07:36,752
when I was a little girl
695
01:07:36,785 --> 01:07:38,687
that my father
asked nothing of her
696
01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:40,856
except that
she work in the garden,
697
01:07:40,889 --> 01:07:43,625
harvest the produce,
preserve the fruit,
698
01:07:43,658 --> 01:07:46,328
tend the poultry,
milk the cows,
699
01:07:46,361 --> 01:07:48,163
manage the household duties,
700
01:07:48,196 --> 01:07:50,766
and help out in the fields
when needed.
701
01:07:50,799 --> 01:07:52,601
She said she appeared
in his ledger
702
01:07:52,634 --> 01:07:55,071
only when she purchased a dress.
703
01:07:56,471 --> 01:07:57,807
Am I anywhere in there?
704
01:08:01,309 --> 01:08:04,179
I'm recording spring expenses.
705
01:08:04,212 --> 01:08:06,415
And how have
things changed?
706
01:08:06,448 --> 01:08:08,383
Daughters are married off
so young
707
01:08:08,416 --> 01:08:11,720
that everywhere you look
a slender and unwilling girl
708
01:08:11,753 --> 01:08:14,656
is being forced to stem
a sea of tribulations
709
01:08:14,689 --> 01:08:17,293
before she is even full-grown
in height.
710
01:08:21,229 --> 01:08:22,398
That's its purpose!
711
01:08:41,550 --> 01:08:42,585
Come on. Come on.
712
01:08:50,525 --> 01:08:51,627
Morning.
713
01:09:08,843 --> 01:09:09,912
Morning, Jim.
714
01:09:10,745 --> 01:09:12,414
Morning, ma'am.
715
01:09:12,447 --> 01:09:13,649
I've got a new book for you.
716
01:09:13,682 --> 01:09:15,217
Do you know,
I'd actually like to see
717
01:09:15,250 --> 01:09:16,885
that blue dress you have there.
718
01:09:16,918 --> 01:09:18,187
All right, lady.
719
01:09:22,791 --> 01:09:23,859
Over here!
720
01:09:34,636 --> 01:09:35,804
It's two and a half.
721
01:09:37,806 --> 01:09:38,874
I'll take it.
722
01:10:10,605 --> 01:10:11,707
My change?
723
01:10:17,345 --> 01:10:18,380
Thank you.
724
01:10:20,315 --> 01:10:22,851
The Mannings' oldest
daughter tipped over an oil lamp
725
01:10:22,884 --> 01:10:24,653
and it set the house ablaze.
726
01:10:24,686 --> 01:10:26,388
- Fire!
- Ho! Ho!
727
01:10:27,989 --> 01:10:29,391
- Fire!
-Before she was driven
728
01:10:29,424 --> 01:10:31,660
from the house by the flames,
729
01:10:31,693 --> 01:10:33,762
she heard calls from her sister,
730
01:10:33,795 --> 01:10:35,798
who was trapped
in the upper loft.
731
01:10:48,443 --> 01:10:49,979
Get her out of there.
732
01:10:55,617 --> 01:10:57,552
Cassie!
733
01:11:08,029 --> 01:11:09,531
Get her out!
734
01:11:14,102 --> 01:11:15,437
Get her out!
735
01:11:37,959 --> 01:11:41,463
Your wife is to be commended
on her hospitality and cooking.
736
01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:47,803
I can recall the day...
737
01:11:47,836 --> 01:11:50,372
No, thank you.
738
01:11:50,405 --> 01:11:55,544
...when every family was fed,
clothed, shot, sheltered,
739
01:11:55,577 --> 01:11:57,779
and warmed from the products
a good wife
740
01:11:57,812 --> 01:11:59,715
gathered within
her own fence line.
741
01:12:02,016 --> 01:12:04,619
I heard down by the loggers
that Mrs. Mannings' oldest
742
01:12:04,652 --> 01:12:07,122
got fiercely burned
in the house fire.
743
01:12:07,155 --> 01:12:09,024
-Cassie.
- And died.
744
01:12:10,425 --> 01:12:12,328
Yes, she did.
745
01:12:14,496 --> 01:12:15,831
Well, as my father used to say,
746
01:12:17,065 --> 01:12:18,934
"The supreme disposer
of all events
747
01:12:18,967 --> 01:12:21,570
does sometimes disappoint
our earthly hopes."
748
01:12:26,975 --> 01:12:29,044
What a marvelous hanging lamp.
749
01:12:29,077 --> 01:12:31,046
Finney purchased it so
that everyone could read
750
01:12:31,079 --> 01:12:33,048
with equal ease around the room.
751
01:12:33,081 --> 01:12:34,917
I wasn't brought up to read
over much,
752
01:12:36,885 --> 01:12:39,087
but I do believe a father
should give his children
753
01:12:39,120 --> 01:12:41,623
every chance to improve.
754
01:12:41,656 --> 01:12:43,726
Children being a sore point
in this household.
755
01:12:46,628 --> 01:12:47,796
And yours, I'd expect.
756
01:12:51,733 --> 01:12:53,068
You'll have to forgive
my husband.
757
01:12:57,839 --> 01:13:00,008
Even so,
758
01:13:00,041 --> 01:13:02,110
whatever misfortunes
arrive at my doorstep,
759
01:13:02,143 --> 01:13:04,847
I seek to improve my lot
with my own industry.
760
01:13:06,514 --> 01:13:07,583
I...
761
01:13:09,017 --> 01:13:10,952
I study my options closely,
762
01:13:10,985 --> 01:13:13,989
and just attend to everything
with more vehemence.
763
01:13:14,022 --> 01:13:16,558
Well, then you should be
commended for that.
764
01:13:16,591 --> 01:13:18,059
I'll give you an example.
765
01:13:18,092 --> 01:13:21,062
When I first began farming,
766
01:13:21,095 --> 01:13:23,098
I was so vexed
at my own inability
767
01:13:23,131 --> 01:13:25,434
to stop my dogs barking
768
01:13:25,467 --> 01:13:27,836
that one January,
during a storm,
769
01:13:27,869 --> 01:13:31,039
I held the dog around
the corner of the barn in a gale
770
01:13:31,072 --> 01:13:32,474
until it froze to death.
771
01:13:35,977 --> 01:13:40,015
I nearly froze to death myself,
at least froze my hands,
772
01:13:40,048 --> 01:13:41,850
even with my heavy work gloves.
773
01:13:41,883 --> 01:13:43,419
That is reprehensible.
774
01:13:46,154 --> 01:13:48,890
Did I see outside
that you use an old shovel plow?
775
01:13:48,923 --> 01:13:51,827
Well, since you're interested
in my machinery,
776
01:13:53,628 --> 01:13:56,731
I have a hinged harrow
that's been giving me trouble.
777
01:13:56,764 --> 01:14:00,068
The spikes catch the rocks
and roots, and they break off.
778
01:14:00,101 --> 01:14:02,871
Well, our harrow
has upright discs.
779
01:14:02,904 --> 01:14:04,006
Work better?
780
01:14:05,006 --> 01:14:06,041
Yeah, it seems to.
781
01:14:09,611 --> 01:14:11,046
Bring the desserts.
782
01:14:11,079 --> 01:14:13,081
I think we're stuffed.
783
01:14:13,114 --> 01:14:14,816
My husband insists
on his pastries
784
01:14:14,849 --> 01:14:16,452
and preserved fruits and creams.
785
01:14:17,285 --> 01:14:18,520
Well, good.
786
01:14:26,761 --> 01:14:27,863
What is happening?
787
01:14:27,896 --> 01:14:29,564
Are you in danger?
788
01:14:29,597 --> 01:14:31,266
What happened to your neck?
789
01:14:31,299 --> 01:14:33,502
No, I just took a fall
over a fence.
790
01:14:35,003 --> 01:14:36,171
I hadn't heard.
791
01:14:37,906 --> 01:14:39,842
There are many things about
which you haven't heard.
792
01:14:47,949 --> 01:14:49,017
Back at the table,
793
01:14:49,050 --> 01:14:51,487
Tallie kept strict custody
of her eyes.
794
01:14:52,954 --> 01:14:55,991
Her husband's mood
seemed to have darkened.
795
01:14:56,024 --> 01:14:58,827
He served the pastries
and creams himself,
796
01:15:00,862 --> 01:15:02,731
leaving only her plate empty.
797
01:15:19,047 --> 01:15:21,583
Saturday, June 21st.
798
01:15:23,117 --> 01:15:24,720
My heart a maelstrom.
799
01:15:25,820 --> 01:15:28,123
My head a bedlam.
800
01:15:28,156 --> 01:15:30,726
A whole week
and no visit from Tallie.
801
01:15:32,594 --> 01:15:33,629
No word.
802
01:15:42,937 --> 01:15:45,874
My anxieties often force me
to stop my work
803
01:15:45,907 --> 01:15:48,010
and pace the house
like an inmate.
804
01:15:49,744 --> 01:15:50,913
I have to see her.
805
01:16:10,264 --> 01:16:11,567
Ho, ho!
806
01:16:29,817 --> 01:16:31,853
Tallie! Tallie!
807
01:17:23,905 --> 01:17:24,973
What has happened?
808
01:17:25,973 --> 01:17:27,042
They're gone.
809
01:17:29,477 --> 01:17:31,279
And no goodbye?
810
01:17:31,312 --> 01:17:32,814
We need to call the sheriff.
811
01:17:38,252 --> 01:17:41,690
And report what exactly?
That our neighbors moved?
812
01:17:41,723 --> 01:17:43,858
It's the Zebrun farm.
They were renting.
813
01:17:43,891 --> 01:17:44,893
I'll go then.
814
01:17:45,426 --> 01:17:47,028
For what reason?
815
01:17:47,061 --> 01:17:48,130
There's blood!
816
01:17:51,299 --> 01:17:52,834
And you never had an accident?
817
01:18:00,408 --> 01:18:01,977
So we'll just do nothing?
818
01:18:19,060 --> 01:18:21,063
I'll make the rounds
of the neighbors.
819
01:18:23,164 --> 01:18:24,766
And if we are not satisfied,
820
01:18:24,799 --> 01:18:26,168
we can take your fears
to the sheriff.
821
01:18:29,337 --> 01:18:30,338
Thank you.
822
01:18:34,976 --> 01:18:38,012
Monday, June 23rd.
823
01:18:38,045 --> 01:18:40,982
Dyer said Mrs. Nottoway
recalled spotting their caravan
824
01:18:41,015 --> 01:18:44,786
on the country road in the
late evening, heading northwest.
825
01:18:44,819 --> 01:18:45,854
Mrs. Nottoway?
826
01:18:45,887 --> 01:18:47,922
She believed she spied
Tallie's figure
827
01:18:47,955 --> 01:18:51,025
alongside her husband's
but was unsure.
828
01:18:51,058 --> 01:18:55,864
A hired hand, she thought,
was driving the second wagon.
829
01:18:55,897 --> 01:18:58,133
Sunday, June 29th
830
01:18:58,166 --> 01:19:00,902
I spotted the sheriff
on his way to church.
831
01:19:00,935 --> 01:19:04,139
I conveyed my accusations,
to no response.
832
01:19:06,974 --> 01:19:09,310
Dyer said that no one would
investigate a crime
833
01:19:09,343 --> 01:19:11,446
without evidence that a crime
had been committed.
834
01:19:11,479 --> 01:19:12,514
Calm myself?
835
01:19:12,547 --> 01:19:14,382
I refused to calm myself,
836
01:19:14,415 --> 01:19:17,986
so he tied me to a chair
and administered laudanum.
837
01:19:18,019 --> 01:19:20,989
Monday, June 30th.
838
01:19:21,022 --> 01:19:23,892
Bleary and short of breath
from the laudanum...
839
01:19:27,595 --> 01:19:29,030
I wake weeping,
840
01:19:29,964 --> 01:19:31,166
retire weeping,
841
01:19:32,266 --> 01:19:34,770
stand before my duties weeping.
842
01:19:40,241 --> 01:19:42,977
Sunday, July 6th.
843
01:19:43,010 --> 01:19:46,114
I am a library without books,
844
01:19:46,147 --> 01:19:50,285
a sea of fear,
agitation and want.
845
01:19:50,318 --> 01:19:54,255
Dyer speaks of how much we
have for which to be grateful.
846
01:19:54,288 --> 01:19:57,325
I sit violently conscious
of the ticking clock
847
01:19:57,358 --> 01:19:59,394
while he weeps
at what he imagines
848
01:19:59,427 --> 01:20:02,430
to be his own poor,
forgotten self.
849
01:20:02,463 --> 01:20:04,299
Wednesday, July 9th.
850
01:20:06,100 --> 01:20:08,203
Despite some hours
without the laudanum,
851
01:20:08,236 --> 01:20:10,839
I was so befogged
and wild with grief
852
01:20:10,872 --> 01:20:12,808
that Dyer left me
for the afternoon,
853
01:20:13,574 --> 01:20:16,077
unsettled and wary of my state.
854
01:20:20,915 --> 01:20:23,218
Tuesday, July 22nd.
855
01:20:39,267 --> 01:20:41,402
-Weldon?
-Good day.
856
01:20:41,435 --> 01:20:42,904
The renters at Zebrun's farm
are gone.
857
01:20:42,937 --> 01:20:44,372
Did they leave
a forwarding address?
858
01:20:45,573 --> 01:20:47,943
No. You've got a letter.
859
01:20:50,511 --> 01:20:51,580
Hyah.
860
01:20:56,550 --> 01:20:57,586
Is it from her?
861
01:21:00,121 --> 01:21:01,189
It is.
862
01:21:02,390 --> 01:21:04,893
-Oh.
-Origin?
863
01:21:04,926 --> 01:21:06,428
Onondaga County. Do you know it?
864
01:21:09,063 --> 01:21:10,398
It's north of Syracuse.
865
01:21:19,273 --> 01:21:20,375
Are you gonna read it?
866
01:21:22,710 --> 01:21:23,979
To myself.
867
01:21:38,559 --> 01:21:42,397
Abigail, Abigail, Abigail.
868
01:21:42,430 --> 01:21:45,934
I'm sorry that all I have
to send you is this letter,
869
01:21:45,967 --> 01:21:49,604
and I'm sorry for all
that a letter cannot be.
870
01:21:51,272 --> 01:21:53,909
Even the best letter
is just a little bit of someone.
871
01:21:55,643 --> 01:21:58,146
I'm sorry I never got
to say goodbye,
872
01:21:59,680 --> 01:22:02,116
and I'm sorry that we seem
to have traded
873
01:22:02,149 --> 01:22:03,985
one sort of misery for another.
874
01:22:06,320 --> 01:22:08,690
It turns out that houses deep
in the backwoods
875
01:22:08,723 --> 01:22:12,661
always seem to be awful and
unnatural in their loneliness.
876
01:22:14,328 --> 01:22:15,663
If there were only
a ruined abbey
877
01:22:15,696 --> 01:22:18,967
around here with bats in it,
the view would be perfect.
878
01:22:21,235 --> 01:22:25,239
Our roof is ramshackle and sheds
water nicely in dry weather
879
01:22:25,272 --> 01:22:29,744
but we have to spread milk pans
around the floor when it rains.
880
01:22:29,777 --> 01:22:31,713
Still, outside the kitchen,
881
01:22:31,746 --> 01:22:36,184
there are already anemones
and heart's-ease,
882
01:22:36,217 --> 01:22:38,686
and even prettier flowers
which my stupidity
883
01:22:38,719 --> 01:22:42,090
keeps me from naming for you.
884
01:22:42,123 --> 01:22:46,027
I believe I've enjoyed myself
less these last few weeks
885
01:22:46,060 --> 01:22:48,396
than any other female
who ever lived.
886
01:22:50,498 --> 01:22:52,500
During what little time
I have to myself,
887
01:22:52,533 --> 01:22:55,136
Finney reads aloud
instructions for wives
888
01:22:55,169 --> 01:22:56,671
from the Old Testament.
889
01:22:59,373 --> 01:23:01,109
But when it comes to the Bible,
890
01:23:01,142 --> 01:23:03,444
I have to say that
there are a lot of passages
891
01:23:03,477 --> 01:23:05,513
he may know word for word,
892
01:23:05,546 --> 01:23:07,315
but which haven't touched
his heart.
893
01:23:09,216 --> 01:23:11,419
I can't account for his state
of mind except to say
894
01:23:11,452 --> 01:23:15,023
that my company must be
intensely disagreeable to him.
895
01:23:16,090 --> 01:23:17,292
And if that's the case,
896
01:23:18,125 --> 01:23:19,260
I'm sorry for it.
897
01:23:31,472 --> 01:23:32,507
Ho...
898
01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:35,243
Good afternoon!
899
01:23:38,112 --> 01:23:39,381
Afternoon.
900
01:23:41,549 --> 01:23:42,650
Whoa.
901
01:23:42,683 --> 01:23:43,718
Hey.
902
01:23:45,352 --> 01:23:46,554
I've got something for you.
903
01:23:48,722 --> 01:23:49,758
There you go.
904
01:23:50,491 --> 01:23:51,592
Thank you.
905
01:23:51,625 --> 01:23:52,660
Good day.
906
01:23:53,394 --> 01:23:54,763
Hyah. Come on.
907
01:24:06,674 --> 01:24:08,777
-Is it for me?
-From Schoharie County.
908
01:24:12,580 --> 01:24:14,549
-Your Abigail.
-Give that to me.
909
01:24:14,582 --> 01:24:16,351
Give it. Finney, give...
910
01:24:18,652 --> 01:24:19,653
Finney!
911
01:24:19,687 --> 01:24:22,490
"What's to become
of the thousands of our sex
912
01:24:22,523 --> 01:24:24,258
scattered out in the wilderness
913
01:24:24,291 --> 01:24:27,095
and obliged
to tax our strengths?
914
01:24:27,128 --> 01:24:28,729
I feel as if,
at that selfsame hour
915
01:24:28,762 --> 01:24:29,797
when our prospects
were brightest,
916
01:24:29,830 --> 01:24:32,534
that in the dim distance
a black shadow approached.
917
01:24:33,467 --> 01:24:35,369
And yet still,
918
01:24:35,402 --> 01:24:37,705
imagine the happiest of unions
for us of the sort
919
01:24:37,738 --> 01:24:39,674
in which two families previously
at daggers drawn
920
01:24:39,707 --> 01:24:42,343
are miraculously brought
together on love's account.
921
01:24:47,848 --> 01:24:49,617
It is your face
I bear through the night.
922
01:24:49,650 --> 01:24:51,752
It is to you I devote
a dreaming space
923
01:24:51,785 --> 01:24:55,123
before I turn myself to sleep,
but there is no sleep.
924
01:24:55,156 --> 01:24:58,593
It's as if within me everything
clamors for air,
925
01:24:58,626 --> 01:25:00,728
and I think
if it's like this now,
926
01:25:00,761 --> 01:25:01,863
what will it be like later?
927
01:25:03,264 --> 01:25:06,501
I send you what love
and support I can.
928
01:25:08,202 --> 01:25:10,238
I send you all my heart's hopes.
Abigail."
929
01:25:35,529 --> 01:25:37,331
Please know
that force alone
930
01:25:37,364 --> 01:25:40,735
couldn't have gotten me here
to a place like this.
931
01:25:40,768 --> 01:25:44,872
I was told I had to act
in support of interest,
932
01:25:44,905 --> 01:25:49,911
happiness and the reputation
of someone I once loved.
933
01:25:52,313 --> 01:25:53,915
As far as I can figure,
934
01:25:53,948 --> 01:25:56,918
we're now still only about
85 miles apart.
935
01:25:58,419 --> 01:26:00,454
But of course,
936
01:26:00,487 --> 01:26:02,857
people like us
don't go on long visits.
937
01:26:39,293 --> 01:26:42,463
Dyer refused first
to permit my departure,
938
01:26:42,496 --> 01:26:43,932
and then to accompany me,
939
01:26:46,333 --> 01:26:47,534
and only caught up to the cart
940
01:26:47,568 --> 01:26:50,304
at the end of our property
and climbed aboard.
941
01:26:53,974 --> 01:26:56,877
We were the very picture
of anguish,
942
01:26:56,910 --> 01:26:59,214
rattling along side by side.
943
01:27:00,914 --> 01:27:05,653
The night was fair and warm with
the appearance of a coming rain.
944
01:27:05,686 --> 01:27:06,754
A shower.
945
01:27:48,629 --> 01:27:50,631
It's so hard
to write about
946
01:27:50,664 --> 01:27:52,733
how much I want to thank you,
947
01:27:52,766 --> 01:27:55,436
but I have to start somewhere.
948
01:27:56,870 --> 01:27:58,939
Abigail...
949
01:27:58,972 --> 01:28:04,078
I want to tell you that being
with you, even alone,
950
01:28:04,111 --> 01:28:07,682
has been like being a part
of the biggest
951
01:28:07,715 --> 01:28:12,920
and most spacious community
I could ever imagine.
952
01:28:12,953 --> 01:28:17,024
I feel closer to you
than I would a sister since
953
01:28:17,057 --> 01:28:19,394
everything amazing that I feel,
954
01:28:20,594 --> 01:28:22,830
I chose to feel.
955
01:28:25,599 --> 01:28:28,036
And do you know what memory
it is that I most cherish?
956
01:28:30,437 --> 01:28:34,442
It's of you turning to me
with that smile you gave me
957
01:28:35,843 --> 01:28:39,514
once you realized
that you were loved.
958
01:28:42,750 --> 01:28:45,986
I have no way of knowing
what is to come,
959
01:28:46,019 --> 01:28:49,590
but I do know
that all of the trust
960
01:28:49,623 --> 01:28:52,660
and care and courage we shared,
961
01:28:53,894 --> 01:28:55,663
that will all shine on us
962
01:28:57,030 --> 01:28:58,433
and protect us.
963
01:29:00,467 --> 01:29:03,738
You are my city of joy.
964
01:29:05,506 --> 01:29:07,809
You are my city of joy.
965
01:29:39,573 --> 01:29:40,708
Whoa.
966
01:29:48,182 --> 01:29:49,683
Might I ask
your business?
967
01:29:49,716 --> 01:29:52,486
We've come to see Tallie.
Where is she?
968
01:29:52,519 --> 01:29:54,789
I heard you on the road.
969
01:29:54,822 --> 01:29:56,957
You made such a racket.
I took you for the tin knocker.
970
01:29:56,990 --> 01:29:57,858
We've ridden for three days.
971
01:29:57,891 --> 01:29:59,126
We are not leaving
without seeing her.
972
01:29:59,159 --> 01:30:02,196
I'm not concerned with what you
will or will not leave without.
973
01:30:02,229 --> 01:30:03,631
Keep a civil tongue,
friend.
974
01:30:03,664 --> 01:30:05,533
Where is she?
975
01:30:05,566 --> 01:30:06,834
I treated her with tea of soot
976
01:30:06,867 --> 01:30:09,503
and pine-tree root
to good effect,
977
01:30:09,536 --> 01:30:10,871
but sickness always tests
our willingness
978
01:30:10,904 --> 01:30:12,774
to bow before
the greatest authority.
979
01:30:14,041 --> 01:30:15,976
My guess is
that it was diphtheria.
980
01:30:16,009 --> 01:30:17,011
No!
981
01:30:18,679 --> 01:30:20,514
There is some
alienation from marital...
982
01:31:40,627 --> 01:31:41,762
What time is it?
983
01:31:44,264 --> 01:31:45,533
I don't care.
984
01:31:58,612 --> 01:32:01,182
-I have to go.
-You're gonna make a mark.
985
01:32:09,222 --> 01:32:10,258
Come on.
986
01:32:11,758 --> 01:32:12,827
Come on.
987
01:32:15,062 --> 01:32:16,130
Come on.
988
01:33:05,979 --> 01:33:08,683
Sunday, August 31st.
989
01:33:10,317 --> 01:33:12,253
Weather very hot and sunny.
990
01:33:14,321 --> 01:33:16,256
I cleaned out the shed
991
01:33:16,289 --> 01:33:18,793
which was full of rusty
and dusty rubbish,
992
01:33:19,726 --> 01:33:21,929
washed the windows,
993
01:33:21,962 --> 01:33:23,898
and preserved apples
for the winter.
994
01:33:26,933 --> 01:33:29,937
Fourteen dollars from the sale
of our milk and butter.
995
01:33:32,272 --> 01:33:34,675
I have cut my hand
with a paring knife.
996
01:33:38,078 --> 01:33:40,848
I console myself
with the conviction
997
01:33:40,881 --> 01:33:42,983
that someday in the future
when Dyer
998
01:33:43,016 --> 01:33:46,654
is forced to travel to Syracuse
for feed or supplies,
999
01:33:47,921 --> 01:33:49,790
I will join him,
1000
01:33:49,823 --> 01:33:52,860
and take his rifle
and go to Skaneateles
1001
01:33:52,893 --> 01:33:55,029
and kill Finney where he sits.
1002
01:34:02,202 --> 01:34:04,171
Dyer has been at work
on the barn.
1003
01:34:10,210 --> 01:34:13,414
Each day,
we enact our separation.
1004
01:34:18,285 --> 01:34:20,988
Sometimes after it gets dark,
1005
01:34:21,021 --> 01:34:23,991
we walk over the hills
across our upper fields
1006
01:34:24,024 --> 01:34:25,693
for the wide, wide view.
1007
01:34:28,228 --> 01:34:30,965
And Dyer tries to imagine us
as we were,
1008
01:34:33,734 --> 01:34:35,469
while I try to imagine Tallie
1009
01:34:35,502 --> 01:34:37,971
and that cordial
and accepting home
1010
01:34:38,004 --> 01:34:40,107
that existed solely
in our dreams.
1011
01:34:41,842 --> 01:34:44,978
I imagine Tallie and Nellie
somewhere together,
1012
01:34:45,011 --> 01:34:47,748
and Nellie running her brush
through Tallie's hair.
1013
01:34:49,916 --> 01:34:53,020
I imagine banishing forever
those sentiments of my own
1014
01:34:53,053 --> 01:34:55,122
that she chastened and refined.
1015
01:34:57,958 --> 01:35:01,128
I imagine resolving to do
what I can for Dyer.
1016
01:35:04,164 --> 01:35:07,001
And I imagine continuing
to write in this ledger,
1017
01:35:08,468 --> 01:35:10,270
here,
1018
01:35:10,303 --> 01:35:12,073
as though this was my life.
1019
01:35:15,275 --> 01:35:17,445
As though my life
was not elsewhere.
1020
01:35:53,513 --> 01:35:56,016
I've always feared
that I would bring misfortune
1021
01:35:56,049 --> 01:35:57,251
to those I loved.
1022
01:36:18,505 --> 01:36:20,508
Are you really saying nothing
to that?
1023
01:36:24,611 --> 01:36:26,347
I don't know where to start.
1024
01:36:31,952 --> 01:36:35,289
I can't imagine what more
we could do for one another...
1025
01:36:38,325 --> 01:36:40,127
with our constraints.
1026
01:36:41,261 --> 01:36:42,296
You can't?
1027
01:36:47,234 --> 01:36:48,302
I can't.
1028
01:36:55,575 --> 01:36:56,577
You can't?
1029
01:37:06,186 --> 01:37:07,221
Well, then...
1030
01:37:11,391 --> 01:37:13,961
It's a good thing we remember
that our imaginations
1031
01:37:13,994 --> 01:37:15,863
can always be cultivated.
1032
01:38:32,372 --> 01:38:37,912
♪ And well beyond ♪
1033
01:38:39,112 --> 01:38:44,651
♪ The world to come ♪
1034
01:38:44,684 --> 01:38:50,123
♪ I'll section my heart ♪
1035
01:38:50,156 --> 01:38:56,163
♪ For my own sympathies ♪
1036
01:38:56,196 --> 01:39:02,002
♪ And I believe ♪
1037
01:39:02,035 --> 01:39:08,108
♪ We shall receive ♪
1038
01:39:08,141 --> 01:39:13,213
♪ Surrendering hope ♪
1039
01:39:13,246 --> 01:39:17,985
♪ From a true sovereignty ♪
1040
01:39:19,019 --> 01:39:23,691
♪ It was like a dream ♪
1041
01:39:24,657 --> 01:39:29,696
♪ You came to be ♪
1042
01:39:29,729 --> 01:39:35,335
♪ Then happenstance drew you ♪
1043
01:39:35,368 --> 01:39:39,573
♪ Next to me ♪
1044
01:39:40,640 --> 01:39:46,013
♪ Are you the one ♪
1045
01:39:46,046 --> 01:39:51,385
♪ To whom I belong ♪
1046
01:39:51,418 --> 01:39:57,557
♪ And here stays resembling ♪
1047
01:39:57,590 --> 01:40:03,330
♪ My only song ♪
1048
01:40:03,363 --> 01:40:07,634
♪ In my world ♪
1049
01:40:07,667 --> 01:40:11,739
♪ To come ♪
1050
01:40:14,307 --> 01:40:18,412
♪ Fate to be ♪
1051
01:40:18,445 --> 01:40:25,352
♪ As morning sun ♪
1052
01:40:25,385 --> 01:40:31,792
♪ Deeply in your arm ♪
1053
01:40:32,759 --> 01:40:38,265
♪ To sweet lovers ♪
1054
01:40:38,298 --> 01:40:42,703
♪ Will succumb ♪
1055
01:40:43,736 --> 01:40:47,474
♪ Will succumb ♪
1056
01:41:01,521 --> 01:41:05,626
♪ Why if you were born ♪
1057
01:41:06,693 --> 01:41:12,199
♪ The winter's morn ♪
1058
01:41:12,232 --> 01:41:17,170
♪ Pair of wings carried thee ♪
1059
01:41:17,203 --> 01:41:21,575
♪ Back to me ♪
1060
01:41:21,608 --> 01:41:26,813
♪ To begin, it means ♪
1061
01:41:26,846 --> 01:41:31,485
♪ Constancy ♪
1062
01:41:31,518 --> 01:41:36,756
♪ Beholding the fathomless ♪
1063
01:41:36,789 --> 01:41:40,828
♪ Destiny ♪
1064
01:41:42,328 --> 01:41:45,432
♪ In my world ♪
1065
01:41:46,332 --> 01:41:50,671
♪ To come ♪
1066
01:41:52,572 --> 01:41:56,143
♪ Free to be ♪
1067
01:41:56,176 --> 01:41:59,746
♪ As one ♪
1068
01:41:59,779 --> 01:42:03,884
♪ In some sweet ♪
1069
01:42:03,917 --> 01:42:09,923
♪ Oblivion ♪
1070
01:42:09,956 --> 01:42:15,595
♪ To the sweet nights ♪
1071
01:42:15,628 --> 01:42:19,500
♪ Will succumb ♪
1072
01:43:46,386 --> 01:43:51,891
♪ And well beyond ♪
1073
01:43:51,924 --> 01:43:56,863
♪ The world to come ♪
1074
01:43:56,896 --> 01:44:01,468
♪ A deafening heart ♪
1075
01:44:01,501 --> 01:44:07,374
♪ Beats fast for thee ♪
76613
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