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1
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Back in the '80s, I loved
2
00:00:02,032 --> 00:00:04,281
"The Greatest American Hero,"
in which an encounter
3
00:00:04,351 --> 00:00:06,757
with aliens causes
schoolteacher Ralph Hinkley
4
00:00:06,852 --> 00:00:08,955
to reluctantly lead a double life.
5
00:00:09,089 --> 00:00:11,224
What a perfectly realized premise!
6
00:00:11,358 --> 00:00:13,126
Of all the people to get superpowers,
7
00:00:13,259 --> 00:00:15,227
a mild-mannered guy!
8
00:00:15,261 --> 00:00:18,598
Maybe his ordinariness
is his superpower.
9
00:00:18,732 --> 00:00:20,367
Either way, these are
definitely questions
10
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:21,834
the show wants us to be asking.
11
00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:24,839
Of course, in my world, there
was only one curly blond,
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00:00:24,971 --> 00:00:27,040
- garishly costumed superhero.
- We're closing.
13
00:00:27,174 --> 00:00:29,376
My beautiful boy needs
a pair of acid-washed jeans,
14
00:00:29,509 --> 00:00:30,377
and he needs them right now.
15
00:00:30,510 --> 00:00:31,845
I have demands.
16
00:00:31,978 --> 00:00:34,347
You're gonna give Erica a
solo, or it's your ass.
17
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:35,816
Nothing could stop her from getting what
18
00:00:35,950 --> 00:00:38,285
she and her family sort of deserved.
19
00:00:38,419 --> 00:00:40,053
Change the grade. Change the grade.
20
00:00:40,187 --> 00:00:41,388
Change the grade.
21
00:00:41,522 --> 00:00:42,857
Change the... Oh, that's nice.
22
00:00:42,989 --> 00:00:44,691
Unfortunately, I hadn't inherited
23
00:00:44,825 --> 00:00:47,761
my mom's superpower
of being super-pushy.
24
00:00:47,894 --> 00:00:49,663
I wanted to rent Lethal Weapon,
25
00:00:49,797 --> 00:00:52,199
but you accidentally gave me
Lethal Seduction.
26
00:00:52,331 --> 00:00:53,432
Welcome to adulthood.
27
00:00:53,566 --> 00:00:55,402
I was hoping I could get a refund?
28
00:00:55,535 --> 00:00:56,969
- No.
- Okey-doke.
29
00:00:57,103 --> 00:00:58,704
- Unacceptable!
- Everyone's in trouble!
30
00:00:58,839 --> 00:01:00,073
Erica and Barry, on the other hand,
31
00:01:00,206 --> 00:01:02,276
welcomed all kinds of conflict.
32
00:01:02,408 --> 00:01:05,645
This is what's gonna happen.
We're getting 10 free rentals.
33
00:01:05,779 --> 00:01:07,414
And that life-size cardboard cutout
34
00:01:07,547 --> 00:01:08,648
- of offbeat hunk Judd Nelson.
- You know what?
35
00:01:08,782 --> 00:01:09,849
Make it two Judd Nelsons
36
00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:11,551
and all the Haagen-Dazs in the freezer.
37
00:01:11,684 --> 00:01:12,785
I can't do that.
38
00:01:12,919 --> 00:01:14,855
Mr. West Coast Video?
39
00:01:14,988 --> 00:01:17,425
You're about to be super upset!
40
00:01:17,557 --> 00:01:20,226
Fine. If you just leave,
you can have everything.
41
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,562
Adam, grab our Judds.
42
00:01:21,694 --> 00:01:24,230
Sorry, Nolan. For your trouble.
43
00:01:24,364 --> 00:01:25,800
Yep, unlike my siblings,
44
00:01:25,932 --> 00:01:28,367
the last thing I wanted
was any confrontation.
45
00:01:28,502 --> 00:01:30,604
Oh, man! Lasagna.
46
00:01:30,738 --> 00:01:33,440
Even more delicious layers
than a Nora Ephron script.
47
00:01:33,574 --> 00:01:36,443
The love of lasagna's
the one thing Garfield gets right.
48
00:01:36,468 --> 00:01:38,211
- Hit me, Helen.
- Gimme a sec.
49
00:01:38,345 --> 00:01:39,380
It's the last piece on the tray,
50
00:01:39,512 --> 00:01:40,447
and she's fighting me.
51
00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:41,580
Oh, yeah.
52
00:01:41,714 --> 00:01:43,683
Um, if it's no trouble,
53
00:01:43,816 --> 00:01:46,652
I'd rather have a nice, steamy
piece from that new tray.
54
00:01:46,786 --> 00:01:47,821
And I'd rather have 10 toes
55
00:01:47,953 --> 00:01:50,124
that all point in the same direction.
56
00:01:50,256 --> 00:01:51,511
God hates us both, I guess.
57
00:01:53,926 --> 00:01:55,628
Good luck with your podiatry issues.
58
00:01:56,997 --> 00:01:57,931
I love lasagna.
59
00:01:58,065 --> 00:01:59,566
Adam, what did you get?
60
00:01:59,699 --> 00:02:00,867
Is that a charred baseball glove?
61
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,636
That was left on a desert highway
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00:02:02,768 --> 00:02:04,371
where it was pummeled by a convoy?
63
00:02:04,505 --> 00:02:05,471
I get it!
64
00:02:05,605 --> 00:02:07,273
My lasagna doesn't look like yours.
65
00:02:07,408 --> 00:02:09,643
- Mmm! Beefy goodness.
- Golden perfection.
66
00:02:09,776 --> 00:02:11,812
Good for you! And why
are you guys even here?
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00:02:11,945 --> 00:02:13,146
I don't have class on Tuesdays,
68
00:02:13,279 --> 00:02:14,747
so I come here for Jenkintown's
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00:02:14,881 --> 00:02:17,117
best kept secret, high school lasagna.
70
00:02:17,250 --> 00:02:18,718
I do have class on Tuesdays,
71
00:02:18,852 --> 00:02:20,320
but for the first time ever,
Barry is correct.
72
00:02:20,453 --> 00:02:21,688
What the hell's this?
73
00:02:21,821 --> 00:02:23,456
Adam, why is most of your family here?
74
00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:25,258
I am the Quaker Warden.
75
00:02:25,391 --> 00:02:26,492
It's a ceremonial position
76
00:02:26,625 --> 00:02:28,761
with unlimited power.
77
00:02:28,895 --> 00:02:31,265
For example, my fully grown children
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00:02:31,334 --> 00:02:33,496
are able to come here and eat
whatever they want.
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00:02:33,551 --> 00:02:35,535
Schmoopie, go up and get
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00:02:35,669 --> 00:02:38,105
a new piece of lasagna that's
as delicious as you are.
81
00:02:38,238 --> 00:02:39,772
Ma, I just don't want to bother Helen.
82
00:02:39,907 --> 00:02:42,175
She's having a bad day. And life.
83
00:02:42,308 --> 00:02:43,943
- [Bleep]
- Ow!
84
00:02:44,077 --> 00:02:46,813
The little, crusty barbs
don't soften in the mouth!
85
00:02:46,946 --> 00:02:48,682
- I know the Heimlich!
- No, Barry. I'm not choking.
86
00:02:48,814 --> 00:02:50,050
- No, I wouldn't...
- No. Barry...
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00:02:50,183 --> 00:02:51,817
You can expect some broken ribs!
88
00:02:52,517 --> 00:02:54,001
? I'm twisted up inside ?
89
00:02:54,095 --> 00:02:57,605
? But nonetheless
I feel the need to say ?
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00:02:57,675 --> 00:03:00,043
-- Subs by kinglouisxx --
for www.addic7ed.com
91
00:03:00,127 --> 00:03:01,312
? I don't know the future ?
92
00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:04,208
? But the past keeps
getting clearer every day ?
93
00:03:04,255 --> 00:03:06,302
It was February 24th, 1980-something,
94
00:03:06,379 --> 00:03:07,622
and my dad and Vic were having
95
00:03:07,741 --> 00:03:09,610
a deep, meaningful conversation.
96
00:03:09,742 --> 00:03:11,478
What do you got between
your bread today, Mur?
97
00:03:11,611 --> 00:03:13,012
I don't care.
98
00:03:13,146 --> 00:03:14,781
And that scintillating back-and-forth
99
00:03:14,914 --> 00:03:16,815
- was pretty much their lunch every day...
- Hey, guys!
100
00:03:16,950 --> 00:03:18,786
...until Formica Mike joined the team.
101
00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:20,787
What do you say you guys
put down those sad sammies,
102
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,321
we head over to China Garden?
103
00:03:22,456 --> 00:03:23,990
Well, I've been trying
to get Murray over there
104
00:03:24,123 --> 00:03:26,091
ever since they opened, but,
but he says it's too far.
105
00:03:26,225 --> 00:03:27,159
It's three blocks away!
106
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,496
- We're saying the same thing.
- Aw, come on, Mur.
107
00:03:29,629 --> 00:03:31,165
My periodontist says it's great.
108
00:03:31,397 --> 00:03:32,598
They got pandas
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00:03:32,731 --> 00:03:33,866
all over the wall!
110
00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:35,034
I'll pull the Fleetwood around.
111
00:03:35,168 --> 00:03:36,201
Let's eat, Mur.
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00:03:36,336 --> 00:03:37,937
Yeah, I'd like to, but, unfortunately,
113
00:03:38,070 --> 00:03:39,838
I pulled the footrest out
on this La-Z-Boy.
114
00:03:39,973 --> 00:03:41,288
But you clearly haven't.
115
00:03:42,741 --> 00:03:44,076
My mistake.
116
00:03:44,203 --> 00:03:45,937
But it turns out Vic and Formica Mike
117
00:03:46,079 --> 00:03:47,447
shared more than moo shu.
118
00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:49,282
Oh! You missed it, Mur.
119
00:03:49,415 --> 00:03:50,716
Look at the length of this egg roll.
120
00:03:50,849 --> 00:03:52,519
Is this an elephant's trunk or what?
121
00:03:52,652 --> 00:03:54,653
Yeah, yeah, yeah, big food. Where's Vic?
122
00:03:54,788 --> 00:03:56,457
Gave him the rest of the day off.
He needed some Vic time.
123
00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:57,623
Vic time? Why?
124
00:03:57,758 --> 00:03:59,058
Well, it's that daughter of his.
125
00:03:59,192 --> 00:04:00,293
- Little Vicky?
- Asha.
126
00:04:00,426 --> 00:04:02,061
- What is she? About 7 now?
- Seventeen.
127
00:04:02,194 --> 00:04:04,930
You didn't let me finish. Teen.
128
00:04:05,063 --> 00:04:07,303
Yeah, she's going off to
college, and he's just...
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00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:10,469
He's having a hard time
knowing that his,
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00:04:10,603 --> 00:04:11,871
his little girl's leaving forever.
131
00:04:12,004 --> 00:04:14,407
I'm just surprised that
you're telling me and not Vic.
132
00:04:14,541 --> 00:04:15,742
I think this is less about
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00:04:15,876 --> 00:04:17,578
my relationship with Vic
and more about yours.
134
00:04:17,710 --> 00:04:20,280
Look, Pete Rose could hit
a double with this thing!
135
00:04:20,412 --> 00:04:21,780
Boom!
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00:04:21,914 --> 00:04:24,249
As my dad realized
Vic was a mystery to him,
137
00:04:24,383 --> 00:04:27,319
I had no clue what my mom
was about to hit me with.
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00:04:27,453 --> 00:04:28,788
Adam, I'm concerned.
139
00:04:28,921 --> 00:04:31,606
Gah! My body's bigger,
so I need longer showers!
140
00:04:31,653 --> 00:04:32,679
It's just math.
141
00:04:32,808 --> 00:04:34,366
I have failed you.
142
00:04:34,494 --> 00:04:37,097
You are a sweet, kind, patient boy,
143
00:04:37,229 --> 00:04:39,097
and I have no one but myself to blame.
144
00:04:39,231 --> 00:04:40,265
What are you saying?
145
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,602
I think your mom's implying
you're a doormat.
146
00:04:42,736 --> 00:04:45,372
Ding-ding-ding! After your
sad lasagna incident,
147
00:04:45,505 --> 00:04:47,173
I realized I'm not always gonna be there
148
00:04:47,306 --> 00:04:49,208
to fight your fights for you.
149
00:04:49,342 --> 00:04:51,478
There's gonna be hours,
sometimes entire afternoons
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00:04:51,611 --> 00:04:52,979
where you're all alone.
151
00:04:53,113 --> 00:04:55,248
We have very different
visions of my future.
152
00:04:55,381 --> 00:04:58,284
Every Goldberg child must
learn to fend for himself.
153
00:04:58,417 --> 00:05:00,186
The world's job is to bend
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00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,322
and often break to my will.
155
00:05:02,455 --> 00:05:05,025
You have to take what's yours,
and also what's not.
156
00:05:05,157 --> 00:05:07,994
It's time to teach my coddled
baby not to be a pushover.
157
00:05:08,126 --> 00:05:09,629
Or we could all
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00:05:09,763 --> 00:05:12,498
just leave the gentle,
kind-hearted child alone.
159
00:05:12,631 --> 00:05:14,967
No! Here are some phrases you'll need.
160
00:05:15,102 --> 00:05:17,070
"I'd like to speak to your manager,"
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00:05:17,203 --> 00:05:19,938
"The sign says 'closed, '
but the light is on,"
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00:05:20,073 --> 00:05:22,108
and, "You can't prove this
wasn't on the sale rack."
163
00:05:22,241 --> 00:05:23,376
Those seem pretty horrible.
164
00:05:23,508 --> 00:05:24,544
Now you're getting it!
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00:05:24,678 --> 00:05:27,146
And don't be afraid to use
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00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,681
the environment around you.
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00:05:28,815 --> 00:05:30,116
Stomp, toss stuff,
168
00:05:30,249 --> 00:05:31,317
knock things over.
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00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:32,885
I like to swing my emotions around.
170
00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:34,353
One moment, I'm gently pleading.
171
00:05:34,486 --> 00:05:36,710
The next, I'm on the ground
crying and kicking security.
172
00:05:36,788 --> 00:05:38,157
Practice scenario.
173
00:05:38,291 --> 00:05:41,007
You're in a clothing store,
and Barry is the owner.
174
00:05:41,093 --> 00:05:43,429
Not clothing. It's a BMX store
175
00:05:43,563 --> 00:05:45,631
owned by my character, Spokes Driscoll,
176
00:05:45,765 --> 00:05:48,167
but my real dream
is to overcome the issues
177
00:05:48,301 --> 00:05:49,670
that got me kicked off the circuit.
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00:05:49,803 --> 00:05:51,738
You're gonna give him
that long of a creative leash?
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00:05:51,871 --> 00:05:53,171
It adds color.
180
00:05:53,306 --> 00:05:56,042
Now, you are returning
a BMX-icle that you've used
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00:05:56,174 --> 00:05:58,311
for six years,
and you want a full refund.
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00:05:58,445 --> 00:05:59,379
Go.
183
00:05:59,511 --> 00:06:01,347
Ugh! Fine.
184
00:06:01,481 --> 00:06:03,783
Excuse me. Mr. Driscoll?
185
00:06:03,917 --> 00:06:06,813
Name's Spokes. And we're closed.
186
00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:08,102
Well, when are you open?
187
00:06:08,164 --> 00:06:09,297
For one second a day.
188
00:06:09,399 --> 00:06:11,109
What? That just seems
like a bad business plan!
189
00:06:11,179 --> 00:06:12,558
No one criticizes
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00:06:12,691 --> 00:06:14,860
Spokes Driscoll's business acumen!
191
00:06:14,994 --> 00:06:16,495
Do you even know who I am?
192
00:06:16,628 --> 00:06:18,263
A loose cannon named Spokes Driscoll?
193
00:06:18,397 --> 00:06:19,398
He got it in one.
194
00:06:19,532 --> 00:06:20,866
Now to crank up the difficulty,
195
00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:23,469
Erica has cut in front of you.
196
00:06:23,604 --> 00:06:24,869
I thought the place was closed.
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00:06:24,905 --> 00:06:26,994
Come any closer,
and I'll mace you, perv!
198
00:06:27,065 --> 00:06:28,666
- I was just standing here!
- Hey!
199
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:32,271
Local deviant. Are you
bothering this nice lady?
200
00:06:32,403 --> 00:06:34,639
Spokes' Pool Tables and Bikes
might be closed,
201
00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:36,942
but I'm open to kicking your butt.
202
00:06:37,074 --> 00:06:38,877
You sell pool tables now, too?
203
00:06:39,011 --> 00:06:41,947
Excuse me. Are you the owner
of that AMC Pacer out front?
204
00:06:42,081 --> 00:06:44,283
- Oh, please say I'm not.
- You are.
205
00:06:44,416 --> 00:06:47,553
I'm attractive local meter
maid Isabella Bianco,
206
00:06:47,687 --> 00:06:50,489
and I'm gonna haul that pile
of junk to the impound lot
207
00:06:50,622 --> 00:06:53,290
if you don't pay my bribe,
a thousand kissies.
208
00:06:54,658 --> 00:06:56,694
The Italian meter maid
wants to nuzzle me?
209
00:06:56,829 --> 00:06:58,864
Am I the only one losing the thread?
210
00:06:58,997 --> 00:07:01,199
Mmm. Try to follow this.
The police are on their way,
211
00:07:01,332 --> 00:07:03,501
and you messed with the wrong
lady buying a pool table!
212
00:07:03,634 --> 00:07:05,137
Whoo-whoo! Whoo-whoo!
213
00:07:05,271 --> 00:07:07,072
No! Maybe I should come back tomorrow?
214
00:07:07,204 --> 00:07:08,973
No. Tomorrow, we're closed forever.
215
00:07:09,106 --> 00:07:10,476
I'm going back to the circuit!
216
00:07:10,608 --> 00:07:13,678
The BMX tribunal retested my blood.
I'm clean, baby.
217
00:07:13,812 --> 00:07:14,980
Good for you, Barry.
218
00:07:15,113 --> 00:07:17,048
I feel like Spokes really needed a win.
219
00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:18,836
And, scene!
220
00:07:18,914 --> 00:07:21,153
Oh! Chills.
221
00:07:21,286 --> 00:07:23,288
Adam, how do you think you did?
222
00:07:23,413 --> 00:07:25,148
Uh, pretty decent, given the situation.
223
00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:26,592
You did crap.
224
00:07:26,725 --> 00:07:28,327
- You really did.
- You suck, bro.
225
00:07:28,467 --> 00:07:30,558
Well, you know what? [Bleep] all of you!
226
00:07:30,652 --> 00:07:34,533
That's right! [Bleep] all of you
and your dumb [Bleep] faces!
227
00:07:37,735 --> 00:07:40,004
And that, my Schmoo,
228
00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:43,574
is a great first step
in finding your voice!
229
00:07:43,709 --> 00:07:45,110
- Oh, my gosh!
- Yeah.
230
00:07:45,243 --> 00:07:46,911
- Let's have ice cream.
- Whoo!
231
00:07:47,045 --> 00:07:48,579
While I was finding my way,
232
00:07:48,714 --> 00:07:51,182
my dad was still feeling a bit lost.
233
00:07:51,315 --> 00:07:53,751
Mur, you've barely touched your
third helping of tater bombs.
234
00:07:53,886 --> 00:07:55,387
What's wrong?
235
00:07:55,521 --> 00:07:58,223
If you had something going on,
you'd tell me about it, right?
236
00:07:58,355 --> 00:07:59,868
Depends. Is there
anybody else in the world?
237
00:07:59,892 --> 00:08:00,924
I'm being serious.
238
00:08:00,925 --> 00:08:03,661
Mur, I love you
like a tick loves a hound,
239
00:08:03,795 --> 00:08:05,430
but a listener you are not.
240
00:08:05,564 --> 00:08:06,931
There are things you haven't told me?
241
00:08:07,065 --> 00:08:08,567
- So many.
- Like what?
242
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:10,736
I hold two boomerang world records.
243
00:08:10,868 --> 00:08:12,804
I was an Admiral in the Coast Guard.
244
00:08:12,937 --> 00:08:15,406
Last year, I found a third
nipple on my shoulder.
245
00:08:15,540 --> 00:08:17,041
I love birds.
246
00:08:17,175 --> 00:08:18,843
They can fly!
247
00:08:18,978 --> 00:08:20,644
That's God's best magic trick.
248
00:08:20,778 --> 00:08:22,214
Well, you could've told me.
Not that nonsense about
249
00:08:22,348 --> 00:08:24,383
the third nipple,
but, you know, about birds.
250
00:08:24,516 --> 00:08:25,617
I love fried chicken.
251
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:27,985
I've tried, but the moment
I start sharing
252
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,788
is the moment you stop caring.
253
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,558
Not anymore. From now on,
I'm gonna be there for my friend.
254
00:08:33,692 --> 00:08:35,393
Music to my ears.
255
00:08:35,527 --> 00:08:38,956
Tomorrow, I'm having an elective
procedure on my shoulder.
256
00:08:38,981 --> 00:08:39,901
Where you going?
257
00:08:39,926 --> 00:08:42,200
I'm gonna go be there for my
friend Vic. I just told you.
258
00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:46,270
Hey, Vic. Any, uh, emotional stuff
259
00:08:46,404 --> 00:08:48,374
you want to get off your chest
about your kid
260
00:08:48,506 --> 00:08:51,077
or is everything okay
and I can be on my way?
261
00:08:51,775 --> 00:08:52,977
What's happening now?
262
00:08:53,111 --> 00:08:54,379
I just wanted to know
if you wanted to talk.
263
00:08:54,513 --> 00:08:57,282
You know, you and me talking.
But if... Either/or.
264
00:08:57,416 --> 00:08:59,318
You talk, not talk. It's good with me.
265
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,620
Hey, Vic. What do you say
we go over to Mahmoud's
266
00:09:01,754 --> 00:09:02,821
for some fattoush?
267
00:09:02,955 --> 00:09:04,089
I don't know what it is,
268
00:09:04,222 --> 00:09:05,790
but they say it's the best in the city.
269
00:09:05,923 --> 00:09:08,025
Oh, wonderful.
The culinary trip continues.
270
00:09:08,159 --> 00:09:09,461
Great! Mur, what do you say?
271
00:09:09,595 --> 00:09:13,132
Nah, I'm good. I'm good.
You guys seem to have it down.
272
00:09:13,264 --> 00:09:15,266
- Have a good time.
- It's your loss, because
273
00:09:15,399 --> 00:09:17,903
the falafel, they're
as big as volleyballs!
274
00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:20,104
You don't dip them
in the hummus. You spike 'em!
275
00:09:20,237 --> 00:09:21,605
Come on, let's go!
276
00:09:21,740 --> 00:09:23,509
While my dad couldn't connect with Vic,
277
00:09:23,642 --> 00:09:25,644
I was trying to connect
with my inner Beverly.
278
00:09:25,778 --> 00:09:27,979
You have it in you to get
the lasagna you deserve.
279
00:09:28,112 --> 00:09:29,714
Now make your mama proud.
280
00:09:30,849 --> 00:09:33,818
Hello, Helen. I'd like some lasagna.
281
00:09:33,952 --> 00:09:35,120
From the middle, please.
282
00:09:35,254 --> 00:09:37,322
Sorry. Middle's for the pretty people.
283
00:09:37,455 --> 00:09:39,225
In that moment, I decided
284
00:09:39,357 --> 00:09:41,292
I wasn't going to be a doormat forever.
285
00:09:41,427 --> 00:09:43,028
So I dug deep and deployed
286
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,629
one of my mom's favorite phrases.
287
00:09:44,763 --> 00:09:46,898
I'd like to speak to your manager.
288
00:09:47,032 --> 00:09:48,966
Is there a problem, Mr. Goldberg?
289
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,836
There is, Principal Ball.
290
00:09:50,969 --> 00:09:53,538
I eat here every day, and, consistently,
291
00:09:53,672 --> 00:09:55,673
Helen serves me the lasagna dregs.
292
00:09:55,807 --> 00:09:57,543
I appreciate you pointing that out.
293
00:09:57,676 --> 00:09:59,645
Rest assured I will do nothing about it.
294
00:09:59,778 --> 00:10:01,046
Then I will.
295
00:10:01,179 --> 00:10:03,080
Dave Kim, are you still
on the school paper?
296
00:10:03,213 --> 00:10:05,516
Yes. I have a weekly humor column.
297
00:10:05,649 --> 00:10:08,485
It's a sardonic look at high
school called "Kim's Whims."
298
00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:09,653
Everyone hates it.
299
00:10:09,788 --> 00:10:12,090
So you could write
a scathing expose about
300
00:10:12,222 --> 00:10:14,915
how this institution
discriminates against students
301
00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:16,729
of the nerd variety?
302
00:10:16,861 --> 00:10:18,262
Negative press?
303
00:10:18,395 --> 00:10:20,865
I've seen the movies.
Nerds are vengeful.
304
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,301
And, Brea! You're popular, yes?
305
00:10:23,434 --> 00:10:25,603
I'm not lacking in social capital.
306
00:10:25,736 --> 00:10:28,206
So you could tell the cool
kids to eat somewhere else?
307
00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:30,575
Where the cool kids go, everyone goes!
308
00:10:30,708 --> 00:10:33,110
Oh, sir, please, no.
We value your business.
309
00:10:33,245 --> 00:10:36,181
Then earn it, or I'll make
a scene so insane,
310
00:10:36,314 --> 00:10:38,816
it'll make Beverly Goldberg
seem reasonable!
311
00:10:38,951 --> 00:10:42,118
Get this fine gentleman
two center-cut pieces.
312
00:10:42,243 --> 00:10:44,227
- Yes!
- Sorry for the inconvenience, sir.
313
00:10:44,328 --> 00:10:47,875
Next time, ask for me by name. Earl.
314
00:10:47,969 --> 00:10:49,361
Oh...
315
00:10:49,495 --> 00:10:50,928
Did I get a good piece?
316
00:10:51,062 --> 00:10:52,230
I blacked out there for a while.
317
00:10:52,364 --> 00:10:54,365
Schmoo, you got the best piece.
318
00:10:54,419 --> 00:10:57,200
And even better than that,
you got my powers!
319
00:10:59,553 --> 00:11:02,022
My dad realized he needed
to be a better friend to Vic,
320
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:04,172
so he turned to an expert
on the subject.
321
00:11:04,239 --> 00:11:05,908
Hey, Mr. G. Don't mind me.
322
00:11:05,979 --> 00:11:07,847
I'm just waiting for
the ol' ball and chain,
323
00:11:07,938 --> 00:11:10,031
a.k.a. your daughter.
I struggle with small talk.
324
00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:11,876
But you're good with big talk, right?
325
00:11:12,009 --> 00:11:13,650
Well, if you mean
compassion and understanding,
326
00:11:13,736 --> 00:11:14,754
then, yeah, I'm your fella.
327
00:11:14,869 --> 00:11:15,836
Cop a squat. Come on.
328
00:11:15,970 --> 00:11:18,004
Wow. Is this an overture of friendship?
329
00:11:18,139 --> 00:11:19,941
You know, I always pictured us
on a horseback trail ride
330
00:11:20,073 --> 00:11:22,043
or building a log cabin
together, but I'll take it.
331
00:11:22,176 --> 00:11:24,812
Yes, horses and logs.
332
00:11:24,946 --> 00:11:28,349
What does it take to be a good friend?
333
00:11:28,483 --> 00:11:29,517
Well, there's more than one thing.
334
00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:31,018
This is becoming a hassle.
335
00:11:31,153 --> 00:11:32,253
The first step is listening.
336
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:34,856
All right. Hit me with your first step!
337
00:11:34,989 --> 00:11:37,725
I just did, but here's a
technique that might also help.
338
00:11:37,859 --> 00:11:39,259
- Uh, echoing.
- Echoing?
339
00:11:39,393 --> 00:11:40,427
See? You're a natural.
340
00:11:40,562 --> 00:11:41,962
Why are you making this so difficult?
341
00:11:42,096 --> 00:11:43,197
Pretend we're best bros.
342
00:11:43,331 --> 00:11:45,600
That's a big ask, but let's do it.
343
00:11:45,734 --> 00:11:46,735
Share something that troubles you.
344
00:11:46,868 --> 00:11:48,603
- Nope.
- Off to a slow start.
345
00:11:48,735 --> 00:11:51,139
But here's another sure-fire tip
to make someone know you care.
346
00:11:51,272 --> 00:11:52,674
Give the perfect gift.
347
00:11:52,807 --> 00:11:54,509
Listening and giving gifts.
348
00:11:54,642 --> 00:11:55,376
What are we married?
349
00:11:55,509 --> 00:11:57,077
Ugh!
350
00:11:57,211 --> 00:11:58,679
The worst day ever!
351
00:11:58,812 --> 00:12:00,514
I'm listening, Bar. Tell your
amigo Geoff what's wrong.
352
00:12:00,648 --> 00:12:02,249
Nobody signed my petition
353
00:12:02,384 --> 00:12:04,885
to make nunchucking an Olympic sport!
354
00:12:05,019 --> 00:12:07,889
Now I'll have to win gold at
something dumb, like swimming.
355
00:12:08,022 --> 00:12:09,725
So nobody signed your petition,
356
00:12:09,858 --> 00:12:11,560
and now your only Olympic hope
is dumb swimming.
357
00:12:11,692 --> 00:12:13,461
You get it.
358
00:12:13,595 --> 00:12:16,096
My dismay is subsiding 'cause
I feel super heard right now.
359
00:12:16,230 --> 00:12:17,599
Maybe this will also help.
360
00:12:18,666 --> 00:12:19,634
"Hang in There!"?
361
00:12:19,768 --> 00:12:20,902
I saw it and thought of you.
362
00:12:21,036 --> 00:12:23,138
'Cause I'm like the jacked kitten
363
00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:25,806
whose perseverance will
inevitably be rewarded!
364
00:12:25,940 --> 00:12:28,443
Thanks, Geoff! You're a great friend.
365
00:12:30,611 --> 00:12:32,515
And that's how it's done.
366
00:12:32,616 --> 00:12:34,815
As my dad was
buying into Geoff's advice,
367
00:12:34,882 --> 00:12:36,918
my new powers of being
impossibly difficult
368
00:12:37,052 --> 00:12:39,086
had made me unstoppable.
369
00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:40,888
I'm sorry. I was next.
370
00:12:41,022 --> 00:12:43,124
Congratulations. You're still next.
371
00:12:43,258 --> 00:12:45,360
I picked my movie from
the "Staff Picks" section.
372
00:12:45,493 --> 00:12:48,262
Tell Brad P. from Allentown to
get his eyes and ears checked,
373
00:12:48,395 --> 00:12:50,664
'cause this movie sucks!
374
00:12:50,798 --> 00:12:52,332
Sure, it took a
while for me to find my voice,
375
00:12:52,466 --> 00:12:55,102
but I was finally a nightmare.
376
00:12:55,236 --> 00:12:57,004
Goldberg! What the hell are you doing?
377
00:12:57,139 --> 00:12:59,340
Just taking a load off at my new desk.
378
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:00,975
Oh, no, no, no. That's mine.
379
00:13:01,109 --> 00:13:02,911
That's where I keep
my papers and my gum.
380
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:05,679
Not anymore, unless you want
me to speak to your manager.
381
00:13:05,813 --> 00:13:06,948
Oh, Earl!
382
00:13:07,648 --> 00:13:08,884
Hi.
383
00:13:09,017 --> 00:13:11,520
It seems that young Goldberg
has learned how to harness
384
00:13:11,653 --> 00:13:13,955
his disgruntlement much like his mother.
385
00:13:14,089 --> 00:13:16,057
So let the boy sit where he wants.
386
00:13:16,089 --> 00:13:17,824
- Smart choice.
- Damn it!
387
00:13:17,970 --> 00:13:20,873
Yep, for better or
worse, I had all my mom's powers,
388
00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:22,642
and it was awesome!
389
00:13:22,776 --> 00:13:25,445
- 'Sup, fools?
- A phone without wires?
390
00:13:25,579 --> 00:13:27,180
More like a future without limits!
391
00:13:27,314 --> 00:13:28,682
And why do you have it, exactly?
392
00:13:28,815 --> 00:13:31,084
The Radio Shack manager gave it to me
393
00:13:31,218 --> 00:13:32,819
to stop threatening
legal action when they kept me
394
00:13:32,953 --> 00:13:35,789
waiting in line to buy
batteries. Nice, huh?
395
00:13:35,922 --> 00:13:37,224
Actually, that's kinda gross, Adam.
396
00:13:37,357 --> 00:13:39,959
I miss the old version of you,
the spineless guy who was weak
397
00:13:40,093 --> 00:13:42,234
and unintimidating
and barely landed Brea.
398
00:13:42,276 --> 00:13:43,477
He has a good point.
399
00:13:43,564 --> 00:13:44,564
Just a sec.
400
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:45,899
Go for Goldie.
401
00:13:46,024 --> 00:13:48,793
Forget 'em. They can't grasp our powers.
402
00:13:48,935 --> 00:13:51,070
You'll lose many important
relationships along the way.
403
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,973
Like my girlfriend and best pal?
404
00:13:53,105 --> 00:13:54,306
Just a sec.
405
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:55,441
You got Gold.
406
00:13:55,575 --> 00:13:56,609
It's a small price to pay for always
407
00:13:56,743 --> 00:13:58,077
getting what you're entitled to.
408
00:13:58,211 --> 00:14:00,279
Didn't you guys graduate
like three years ago?
409
00:14:00,413 --> 00:14:02,481
Come on, Adam. Leave these
phoneless drips, okay?
410
00:14:02,614 --> 00:14:05,918
We're gonna go enjoy the spoils
of your newfound powers.
411
00:14:06,052 --> 00:14:07,720
Wow! I have a feeling these cellphones
412
00:14:07,854 --> 00:14:09,790
are gonna change people for the better.
413
00:14:09,922 --> 00:14:12,025
While Barry and Erica
kept me on the path to being pushy,
414
00:14:12,158 --> 00:14:13,926
my dad was ready to pull out
415
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:16,061
some of Geoff's signature moves.
416
00:14:16,195 --> 00:14:18,430
So, Vic, what you got happenin'?
417
00:14:18,565 --> 00:14:20,132
First, there was listening.
418
00:14:20,267 --> 00:14:22,002
Do I have bok choy
in my 'stache or something?
419
00:14:22,134 --> 00:14:24,971
I'm just listening, like I always do.
420
00:14:25,104 --> 00:14:27,640
We were chatting about
father-daughter stuff.
421
00:14:27,773 --> 00:14:29,075
Then he echoed.
422
00:14:29,209 --> 00:14:31,111
Chattin' about father-daughter stuff.
423
00:14:31,244 --> 00:14:32,678
That's what I just said.
424
00:14:32,812 --> 00:14:34,213
Yeah, yeah, that's what you just said.
425
00:14:34,347 --> 00:14:35,649
Why are you repeating everything I say?
426
00:14:35,781 --> 00:14:37,785
Why am I repeating everything you say?
427
00:14:37,917 --> 00:14:40,854
I don't know, and it's making
me wildly uncomfortable.
428
00:14:40,987 --> 00:14:43,323
When none of that worked, he gifted.
429
00:14:43,455 --> 00:14:45,825
You know, when my kids
went off to college,
430
00:14:47,393 --> 00:14:49,461
someone gave me a Penn sweatshirt,
431
00:14:49,595 --> 00:14:51,964
and I want to do the same for you.
432
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,967
- What is this?
- Arizona State!
433
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:56,169
Nice! America's number-one party school.
434
00:14:56,302 --> 00:14:57,536
But Asha's going to Dartmouth.
435
00:14:57,671 --> 00:14:59,039
Swing and a miss.
436
00:14:59,171 --> 00:15:01,307
Those two institutions are not alike.
437
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,976
And I'm the one who gave you
the Penn sweatshirt.
438
00:15:04,109 --> 00:15:05,845
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure!
439
00:15:05,979 --> 00:15:08,000
Vic, I'm trying here.
440
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,429
Oh, you're trying?
441
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,125
What's my daughter's name?
442
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,788
Mmm-hmm. Exactly.
443
00:15:16,922 --> 00:15:18,224
And where's she going to college?
444
00:15:18,358 --> 00:15:20,727
Oh, come on! We just said it!
You got this, Mur!
445
00:15:20,859 --> 00:15:22,561
It starts with a "Z."
446
00:15:22,695 --> 00:15:24,229
No school starts with "Z"!
447
00:15:24,363 --> 00:15:25,892
This is why I don't
tell you anything, Mur,
448
00:15:25,954 --> 00:15:27,499
because you don't listen!
449
00:15:27,633 --> 00:15:28,978
And what's worse,
450
00:15:30,136 --> 00:15:31,880
you can't even pretend to care.
451
00:15:34,675 --> 00:15:36,609
It was Dartmouth. It's a good school.
452
00:15:36,743 --> 00:15:38,512
You know, Dr. Seuss went there.
453
00:15:38,645 --> 00:15:41,047
Turns out communication
was my dad's kryptonite
454
00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:44,098
but my superpower had no weakness.
455
00:15:44,123 --> 00:15:46,386
- Except this.
- Oh, no.
456
00:15:46,518 --> 00:15:49,422
An adult leaving their workplace
with a box of personal effects?
457
00:15:49,555 --> 00:15:51,557
Movies and TV have taught me
that can only mean one thing.
458
00:15:51,690 --> 00:15:53,526
Yeah, they canned me.
459
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:56,029
Hope you liked your "edible lasagna."
460
00:15:56,162 --> 00:15:58,565
I did, but not like this. I'll fix this.
461
00:16:01,401 --> 00:16:04,003
Poopy, what's wrong?
You're all flustered and worked up.
462
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,166
Wait. Is this a prom-posal?
463
00:16:06,272 --> 00:16:09,075
- Are we going? Is this happening?
- What? Never!
464
00:16:09,209 --> 00:16:11,044
Your loss. You'll never see the dress
465
00:16:11,176 --> 00:16:12,878
I picked out that matches your eyes.
466
00:16:13,012 --> 00:16:14,748
Enough! They fired Helen.
467
00:16:14,881 --> 00:16:16,815
- Oh, that's a shame.
- That's it?
468
00:16:16,950 --> 00:16:19,451
A full-grown lady lost her
livelihood because of me.
469
00:16:19,585 --> 00:16:22,555
Not because of you.
She wasn't doing her job well.
470
00:16:22,689 --> 00:16:24,224
It's terrible, but it happens.
471
00:16:24,357 --> 00:16:26,126
You know, I used to think
you were like Ralph Hinkley.
472
00:16:26,258 --> 00:16:27,960
- The guy that shot Reagan?
- No!
473
00:16:28,094 --> 00:16:29,562
The Greatest American Hero!
474
00:16:29,695 --> 00:16:32,398
Well, I've never seen it.
You know what is a good show?
475
00:16:32,532 --> 00:16:35,034
"Unsolved Mysteries" with Robert Stack.
476
00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:36,668
You know what else is a mystery?
477
00:16:36,802 --> 00:16:39,018
Why I thought
behaving like you was okay.
478
00:16:43,829 --> 00:16:46,180
Principal Ball had
fired Helen because of me.
479
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:47,758
There was no way I could let that stand.
480
00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:51,839
Mr. Goldberg. Are you finding
everything to your liking today?
481
00:16:51,902 --> 00:16:54,956
I'm not. It's about Helen.
482
00:16:54,987 --> 00:16:57,624
I fired her. Was that not good enough?
483
00:16:57,711 --> 00:16:59,980
I'd be very happy to do it
again in front of more people
484
00:17:00,115 --> 00:17:01,316
if it would please you.
485
00:17:01,439 --> 00:17:04,576
Opposite. I'm humbly asking
you to hire her back.
486
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,588
I was the one who was out of line.
487
00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:08,522
Her only mistake
was permanent crankiness.
488
00:17:08,657 --> 00:17:11,894
That and the 17 unexplained
absences this semester.
489
00:17:12,026 --> 00:17:13,594
- Really?
- I'm a heavy sleeper.
490
00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:14,695
Well, no one's perfect.
491
00:17:14,829 --> 00:17:16,197
Helen certainly isn't.
492
00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:19,667
She also stole many food items
from the cafeteria.
493
00:17:19,801 --> 00:17:21,401
You can't prove I was the one who swiped
494
00:17:21,535 --> 00:17:23,798
14 gallons of liquid cheese
to throw a nacho party
495
00:17:23,860 --> 00:17:25,307
for some sailors on leave.
496
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,274
What a long and oddly specific denial.
497
00:17:27,408 --> 00:17:30,320
And there was the unauthorized
use of our cafeteria
498
00:17:30,345 --> 00:17:33,519
during Winter Break for a
three-day "pajama-jammy-jam."
499
00:17:33,613 --> 00:17:35,115
For God's sake, Helen!
500
00:17:35,190 --> 00:17:36,340
I told you, I'm a heavy drinker.
501
00:17:36,482 --> 00:17:38,050
You said "sleeper"!
502
00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:39,219
It's all connected.
503
00:17:39,353 --> 00:17:41,621
Petty criminal or not,
Helen's a fixture here.
504
00:17:41,754 --> 00:17:43,989
She used to slip me extra pizza
505
00:17:44,123 --> 00:17:46,292
when I got anxious in kindergarten.
506
00:17:46,425 --> 00:17:49,628
Sure, they were lousy corner
pieces, but once in a while,
507
00:17:49,762 --> 00:17:51,764
a pepperoni would find its way on top.
508
00:17:51,897 --> 00:17:54,501
So, if you could, just please give her
509
00:17:54,634 --> 00:17:57,503
whatever number chance this would be.
510
00:17:57,636 --> 00:18:00,506
That was a very impassioned
defense of her character,
511
00:18:00,641 --> 00:18:02,842
despite all the evidence
to the contrary.
512
00:18:02,975 --> 00:18:04,510
I try to see the good in people.
513
00:18:04,644 --> 00:18:06,847
As head of a Quaker school,
514
00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:10,383
I guess that's something
we should all strive for.
515
00:18:10,517 --> 00:18:12,319
Helen, welcome back.
516
00:18:13,019 --> 00:18:14,520
- We did it!
- Not so fast.
517
00:18:15,555 --> 00:18:17,022
- I'd like a raise.
- No!
518
00:18:17,089 --> 00:18:19,064
Whatever. I'll get mine.
519
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,795
Still kind of a win.
520
00:18:21,927 --> 00:18:24,864
With that, I learned
to use my powers for good.
521
00:18:24,998 --> 00:18:26,732
But I wasn't the only one
trying to right a wrong.
522
00:18:26,866 --> 00:18:30,036
I, uh, just want to say that, uh,
523
00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:33,006
I'm sorry for not being there
for you and what not.
524
00:18:33,138 --> 00:18:35,974
It's okay, Murray. It is what it is.
525
00:18:36,108 --> 00:18:38,044
Again, my dad came up short.
526
00:18:38,177 --> 00:18:40,712
But then, instead of following
everyone else's advice,
527
00:18:40,847 --> 00:18:42,215
he followed his heart.
528
00:18:43,982 --> 00:18:45,017
Naps.
529
00:18:45,151 --> 00:18:46,220
Naps? What are you talking about?
530
00:18:46,353 --> 00:18:49,589
When Barry and Erica
went off to college,
531
00:18:49,722 --> 00:18:51,190
I missed them terribly.
532
00:18:51,324 --> 00:18:52,826
- I didn't know that, Murray.
- Yeah.
533
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,423
And whenever I felt really bad,
534
00:18:54,457 --> 00:18:56,994
- I'd go take a nap in one of their rooms.
- Really?
535
00:18:57,087 --> 00:18:59,766
I don't know if it was picturing
them or the memories,
536
00:18:59,899 --> 00:19:01,733
but when I woke up, felt great.
537
00:19:01,867 --> 00:19:03,735
Wow.
538
00:19:03,869 --> 00:19:04,870
I'm gonna try that.
539
00:19:05,004 --> 00:19:06,405
Works every time.
540
00:19:06,539 --> 00:19:09,674
Well, thanks, Murray. That means a lot.
541
00:19:09,808 --> 00:19:13,479
Look, I know I'm not good
with feelings or saying stuff,
542
00:19:13,613 --> 00:19:17,116
but, uh, I want you to know
you mean a lot to me.
543
00:19:17,242 --> 00:19:20,035
Oh, Murray, you,
you big, beautiful man, you.
544
00:19:20,068 --> 00:19:22,021
- Get on in here.
- No, no. Don't do that.
545
00:19:22,107 --> 00:19:23,708
- Oh...
- That's not what I... Oh.
546
00:19:25,358 --> 00:19:27,828
- Hey.
- Hey to you.
547
00:19:27,961 --> 00:19:29,617
Look, I never should have
said those things.
548
00:19:29,704 --> 00:19:32,648
It's okay. I know who I am.
549
00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:35,102
But, more importantly,
I know who you are.
550
00:19:35,187 --> 00:19:36,887
A sweet, kind-hearted kid
551
00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:38,964
who always sees the best in people.
552
00:19:39,065 --> 00:19:41,323
You're not upset that I don't
want to stand up for myself
553
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:42,423
like you do?
554
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:44,259
Adam, I was wrong.
555
00:19:44,393 --> 00:19:48,030
You being polite and
accommodating is not a weakness.
556
00:19:48,165 --> 00:19:49,666
It's your greatest strength.
557
00:19:49,799 --> 00:19:51,734
Caring, compassion, kindness,
558
00:19:51,868 --> 00:19:53,686
those are your superpowers.
559
00:19:54,470 --> 00:19:55,771
I wouldn't go that far.
560
00:19:55,897 --> 00:19:58,533
I saw what you did for Helen.
That was pretty heroic.
561
00:19:58,675 --> 00:20:01,478
Thanks. But it was probably a mistake.
562
00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:03,111
She's not great.
563
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:05,482
Well, maybe not. But you are.
564
00:20:08,535 --> 00:20:10,786
That day, I learned
that maybe the best way
565
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:13,927
to stand up for yourself
is by just being yourself.
566
00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:17,469
'Cause the truth
is, listening, opening up,
567
00:20:17,494 --> 00:20:18,995
and doing the right thing,
568
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,688
those are the superpowers we all have.
569
00:20:21,822 --> 00:20:24,567
The trick is having the courage
570
00:20:24,637 --> 00:20:26,803
to know when to use them.
571
00:20:26,937 --> 00:20:29,139
In the end, the greatest heroes
572
00:20:29,272 --> 00:20:32,075
are the ones who will be there
for you no matter what.
573
00:20:34,678 --> 00:20:36,545
I hope he's not using your prom tape!
574
00:20:36,679 --> 00:20:38,514
- Oh, he is.
- Are you using my side?
575
00:20:38,648 --> 00:20:41,717
- Where's the tape of his prom?
- It's in the den.
576
00:20:41,851 --> 00:20:42,953
- I want it in the camera.
- Come on. Boom.
577
00:20:43,085 --> 00:20:44,200
Mike, stop!
578
00:20:45,393 --> 00:20:46,986
Would you... Please?
579
00:20:47,522 --> 00:20:49,980
Scenario! Spokes Driscoll has ventured
580
00:20:50,113 --> 00:20:52,866
into the lucrative world of
professional trampolining.
581
00:20:52,945 --> 00:20:54,030
I'm not doing this.
582
00:20:54,140 --> 00:20:56,632
It combines the acrobatics
of men's gymnastics
583
00:20:56,718 --> 00:20:58,397
with the whimsy of jumping on a bed.
584
00:20:58,515 --> 00:20:59,493
Just get on with it.
585
00:20:59,612 --> 00:21:02,749
You want to buy
the Spring-atron 5000 from me
586
00:21:02,864 --> 00:21:06,986
at the price of the much
crappier Spring-atron 4000. Go!
587
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,688
- May I please...
- Never.
588
00:21:08,822 --> 00:21:10,390
Now try to get me to honor
589
00:21:10,522 --> 00:21:11,857
a competitor's coupon
590
00:21:11,990 --> 00:21:13,459
for 99% off.
591
00:21:13,593 --> 00:21:15,027
It doesn't seem likely, but...
592
00:21:15,161 --> 00:21:18,097
Never! Now ask to see the manager.
593
00:21:18,222 --> 00:21:19,857
- Are you the ma...
- Never!
594
00:21:19,999 --> 00:21:22,454
You know what? Keep the trampoline.
I'm leaving.
595
00:21:22,563 --> 00:21:23,970
We value your business.
44781
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