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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,904
- ♪ Look up there ♪
- ♪ What do you see? ♪
2
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,539
♪ Nature and stuff ♪
3
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:06,916
- ♪ Like a rock ♪
- ♪ And a tree ♪
4
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,543
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
5
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:13,180
♪ Way up here,
you can breathe the air ♪
6
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,348
♪ Catch some fish ♪
7
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:15,983
♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
8
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,184
♪ Wow ♪
9
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:20,554
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
10
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,089
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
11
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:23,690
♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
12
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,197
♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪
13
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:29,229
♪ In the Great North. ♪
14
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,104
Thanks for the ride home
from the mall, Steven.
15
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,372
Sure, any time.
16
00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:40,073
I mean, anytime
you're at the mall.
17
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,385
Because, otherwise, how could
I drive you home from there?
18
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:45,078
Oh, great point,
and I love... points.
19
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:46,313
Well, that movie was fun.
20
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,815
- Yeah.
- So, uh, this is off topic,
21
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,484
but, um, could I kiss you?
22
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,619
Uh, yeah, big time.
23
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:55,389
♪ ♪
24
00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:01,261
- (Judy exclaiming)
- Oh, no! Are you okay, Judy?
25
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,829
- Uh...
- Do you need some help?
26
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,131
No, no, I'm all set.
27
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:05,532
I just wanted to lie
on the ground
28
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,301
and gather my thoughts
about the evening.
29
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,836
I‐‐ Yeah, okay, I guess
I'll, I'll just, I'll just go.
30
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,238
Oh, sounds good.
31
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,440
So just have a great year.
32
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,842
Or keep in touch, actually,
is what I meant to say.
33
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,477
- Or stay in school.
- Okay.
34
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:18,745
Uh, bye?
35
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:22,049
Judy tootie, fresh and fruity,
how's it dangling?
36
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:23,517
That is a very fun new greeting,
37
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,519
imaginary best friend
Alanis Morissette.
38
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,120
I'm just gonna dive
right in here
39
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:28,789
with how it is
actually dangling.
40
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,867
Is this about the big group
movie date you went on tonight?
41
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:33,060
Yes. Did you happen
to see me maybe...
42
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:35,004
Fall off the porch when
Steven Huang tried to kiss you?
43
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,040
And then pretend that you
like laying on the ground?
44
00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:38,532
And then say "stay in school"?
45
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:39,900
- So you saw?
- I saw.
46
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,568
It started out so great.
47
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,880
You see, on the group date,
Steven and I went in together‐‐
48
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:46,440
financially‐‐
on a plus‐size movie treat.
49
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,976
Does anyone want to share
a jumbo Minty Mints?
50
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,344
(in slow motion):
I do.
51
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:53,981
(in slow motion):
Oh! (laughing)
52
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,016
Due to our mint‐sharing
agreement, Steven and I
53
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,619
had to sit next to each other
and the next thing you know,
54
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:00,654
there were a...
more than usual number
55
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,932
- of fingers in that box.
- ALANIS: I'm not sure you know
56
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,233
what you're saying, Judy,
but continue.
57
00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:05,492
Plus he wears cologne
58
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:06,593
like a young millionaire,
59
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,995
and it makes him smell like...
60
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,763
like if a hamburger went ahead
61
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:10,931
and just took a bath.
62
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,432
So my senses were...
63
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,277
- overwhelmed, you get it.
- Overwhelmed, I get it.
64
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,237
But then when he went in
for the big K‐I‐S‐S,
65
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:20,440
I just couldn't do it
because of, because of‐‐
66
00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:22,876
- The incident?
- Yes, the incident.
67
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,411
Let me paint a picture for you.
68
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,214
- Oh, good, the story again.
- There I was,
69
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,316
standing near my locker
with my seventh grade
70
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,184
boyfriend, Anderson Guffstafsen.
71
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,120
Two sweet, crazy tweens
72
00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:35,856
unaware of the tragedy
that was about to befall them.
73
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,525
The hallway cleared,
Anderson leaned in for a kiss,
74
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:41,328
But just then,
a breeze blew through,
75
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,196
and a bunch
of his gorgeous blond hair
76
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,798
blew right into my mouth.
77
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,333
It was my first kiss‐‐
I didn't know
78
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,868
what I was feeling and I thought
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00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,269
that's what Frenching felt like.
80
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,571
I mean, it's France,
so I just kept kissing.
81
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:55,175
And then I realized his hair
was lodged in my braces.
82
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,010
And when I say "lodged," I mean
83
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,880
"lodged" ‐‐ we had to walk to
the nurse's office like that!
84
00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:02,549
It was the longest walk
of my life.
85
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:05,085
Teachers let kids come out
of the classrooms to gawk.
86
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,854
The school nurse had
to cut Anderson's beautiful
87
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,423
locks out of my mouth.
88
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:12,059
And then the dentist
had to temporarily
89
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:15,328
remove my braces to get
the rest of the hair out!
90
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,364
Sure, I got two prizes
when it was all over.
91
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,099
A bouncy ball
and a plastic spider ring
92
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,210
that would also get caught
in my braces months later.
93
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:22,736
But Anderson and I both decided
94
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,505
that it was best to go
our separate ways
95
00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:27,283
and I haven't been able
to kiss anyone since.
96
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,209
- Huh.
- What do you mean, "huh"?
97
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,812
Well, I know
that story's why you say
98
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,213
you haven't kissed anyone since,
99
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,791
but don't you think that
maybe your tendency
100
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:37,984
to avoid relationships
is, I don't know, genetic?
101
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,411
- What?!
- I'm just saying your dad
102
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,088
has dated anyone
since your mom left.
103
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:44,391
Well, yeah, but that was pretty
recently very many years ago.
104
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,460
And for a long time,
he pretended she was dead
105
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,071
so he wouldn't have
to get back out there.
106
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,796
Well, he stopped doing that now.
107
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,566
And how many dates has he been
on since he stopped pretending?
108
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,768
Mm, well,
that would be zero, Alanis,
109
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,270
and I feel like you knew that
and that was a gotcha question.
110
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,072
See, he let one bad experience
111
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,141
prevent him from ever trying
to find love again.
112
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,485
And now here you are
doing pretty much
113
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,745
- the same thing, right?
- Uh, well...
114
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,080
I mean, not kissing anyone
sounds like a great way
115
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,648
to never get hurt
and then die alone
116
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,560
clutching a photograph
of someone you never kissed.
117
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:14,121
Oh, God, I don't want Dad
to die alone like that!
118
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:15,587
I was talking
more about you, but...
119
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,190
No, you're right.
I got to get going
120
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,159
- on fixing my dad right away.
- Okay.
121
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:21,561
Dumb Alanis,
my dad isn't gonna die alone.
122
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:24,331
My dad's gonna die accompanied.
Oh, hey, Moon.
123
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,899
- Hey, Judy.
- Uh, what are you doing?
124
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,768
I'm capturing
a flightless ruffed grouse
125
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,237
to teach it how to fly and then
re‐release it into the wild.
126
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,143
- What are you doing?
- Storming over to Wolf's
127
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,483
to talk to him
about Dad's love life.
128
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,676
- Good luck.
- And to you, my friend.
129
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,412
Uh‐oh, looks like somebody
130
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,181
- wants in on Fonzarella Night.
- What?
131
00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:42,883
Oh, Fonzarella Night, yeah.
132
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,727
We watch a Henry Winkler movie
and make mozzarella sticks.
133
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,429
Tonight it's
You Don't Mess with the Zohan.
134
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,121
He plays "Uncredited
Limousine Passenger,"
135
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:51,258
but he still steals the movie
out from under Sandler, IMHO.
136
00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:54,027
Wolf, I need to talk
to you urgently about Dad.
137
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,029
You had me at Dad.
138
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,764
Everyone, this is Timothy.
139
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,200
Please note that he is
not a pet or food.
140
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:01,835
I'm teaching him to fly.
141
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,003
Oh, maybe I can help you.
142
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:04,271
I also cannot fly,
143
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:05,882
so I totally get
what he's going through.
144
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:08,208
No offense, Moon, personally,
I don't care for birds.
145
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:09,719
I always catch them
peaking in my windows.
146
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,012
Stop peaking, birds.
This isn't for you.
147
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:13,346
Yeah, it's for her, birds.
148
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:14,948
A woman's body is
her own dominion.
149
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:17,284
Eyes to yourself, Timothy.
Don't look at my dominion.
150
00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:18,852
Okay, so family meeting.
151
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:22,189
Little dawn download requested
by our only sister Judy.
152
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,191
Juderonomous, you've the floor.
153
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,937
(clears throat)
It has come to my attention
154
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,562
via a friend of mine who
definitely exists here on Earth
155
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:31,531
and is a real person that
Dad has not been on any dates
156
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,300
since admitting
that Mom left him.
157
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,877
And he is at serious risk
of dying alone,
158
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:37,504
clutching a women
he carved out of a tree stump.
159
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,573
- Aren't we all?
- So I was thinking we should
160
00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:41,441
give him a little push
just to, you know,
161
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,628
- get him back out there.
- And I realize that there's
162
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,512
a "Meet and Meat" singles mixer
tomorrow night
163
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,347
at the Russian Bar
that'd be perfect
164
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:48,774
for meeting
some Lone Moose ladies.
165
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,383
Now, why is it called
a "Meet and Meat"?
166
00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:51,694
Oh, because they also raffle off
167
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,486
a bunch of meat
from local hunters.
168
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:54,754
I used to go to it sometimes
169
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,223
when I was an eligible bachelor.
170
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,991
Never met anyone,
but one time I won
171
00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,626
14 caribou steaks.
172
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,561
Lost 'em on the way home,
but what a thrill.
173
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:03,897
I printed out a flier for it
from their website
174
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:04,998
using our old printer.
175
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,299
It only took 45 minutes,
176
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,643
and you can read
two‐thirds of it.
177
00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:09,569
- Dope.
- Oh, boy, Dad's gonna hate this.
178
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,137
Don't you think we should
just let him
179
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,672
meet someone on his own?
180
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,641
Like when Harry met, you know,
what's it called?
181
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,711
- Sally.
- No, the Hendersons, and they all fell in love.
182
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,313
Guys, I think we ought
to support Judy here,
183
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,215
and by doing that, support Dad.
184
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:23,516
We should go, too.
I'm taken,
185
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:24,985
but I'd love to win some bacon.
186
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,519
You got it, my sausage sweetie.
187
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,688
Great idea. We can all go.
And as a bargaining chip,
188
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:31,458
Wolf and I thought we could
promise Dad, in exchange,
189
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:34,261
- the one thing
he's always wanted. - You don't mean...
190
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:35,762
Yeah, I do mean.
I'm talking about
191
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,964
the whole family taking
the Chain Saw Basics
192
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:41,167
workshop series being offered
at the public library.
193
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,736
‐(Ham groans) ‐Hear us out.
194
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,238
Guys, it's only four Saturdays.
Eight hours each day.
195
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:46,940
Well, we've avoided it
for years,
196
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,951
but if that's what it takes
to stop Dad from dying alone,
197
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:52,445
- then stick a fork in me,
'cause I'm a chain saw. - Great.
198
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:54,232
Oh, God, here he comes.
Everyone act casual.
199
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,683
What's going on?
Is it the apocalypse?
200
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,885
No one panic, we have
500 years' worth of rice,
201
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,954
and two Calvin and Hobbes books
in the basement.
202
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,190
No, it's even better than that,
if you can believe it.
203
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,625
(sings fanfare)
204
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,503
Dad, it's time for you
to get back on the horse
205
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,863
and ride that horse to the barn
and meet women
206
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,400
at the Meet and Meat singles
mixer this weekend.
207
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,602
Oh, I didn't tell you guys?
208
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:19,172
I'm actually off to Hawaii
for a work trip.
209
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:20,650
- You get it, you get it.
- Uh‐oh, code Dad.
210
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,609
- Grab him, quick!
- He's on the move!
211
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,291
Children, sorry that I tried
to run away, and you were forced
212
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,383
to wrestle me to the ground
and then sit on me
213
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,386
for 15 minutes while I fought
you like a wild bear.
214
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,021
(chuckles)
It's no problem, Dad.
215
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:38,258
We'll wrestle you to the ground
any day, and I mean that.
216
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,327
So, if I go tomorrow
and attempt to,
217
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,529
as the teens say, "meet people,"
218
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:45,298
you will really all
seriously attend
219
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,567
the Chain Saw Basics
workshop with me?
220
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,003
Yep. That's what we said,
and that's what we meant.
221
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,371
You have my word.
222
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,306
You can also have this word:
pineapple.
223
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:55,408
I've asked you to do that
so many times.
224
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,277
It's literally all
I've ever wanted.
225
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,312
And now it's all we've
ever wanted.
226
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,514
32 hours with our family
and our chain saws.
227
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:04,284
Well, then,
the Meet and Meat it is.
228
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,653
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to go throw up
229
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,788
about this very fun
dating opportunity
230
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,657
before heading out
to work on the boat.
231
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,126
Guys, we did it‐‐
Dad will no longer die alone.
232
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,528
But instead he will die
in the arms of a woman.
233
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:16,997
Identity TBD.
234
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,298
Okay, great job, everybody.
235
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,133
Time for school.
Let's head out.
236
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,668
Have fun at school, guys.
237
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,512
I've got to stay home
and teach Timothy to fly.
238
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:26,039
Uh‐uh. No way, bub.
You're going to school.
239
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,316
Me and Honeybee will watch Tim.
240
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,675
I'll show him Top Gun.
241
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,543
If anyone can teach him to fly,
it's Maverick.
242
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,445
Fine. But fast‐forward
through the part
243
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,681
where Goose dies, please.
244
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,792
You know, Judes, I was thinking
we might need to help Dad
245
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,618
brush up on his skills
before tomorrow.
246
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,754
The Meet and Meat is no joke.
There's, uh...
247
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,622
How do I say this?
A lot of pool cues,
248
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,400
not a lot of pockets,
if you know what I mean.
249
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,159
- No. What do you mean?
- A lot of hot dogs,
250
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,560
- not a lot of buns.
- Huh?
251
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,347
What he's saying is
there'll be tons of, uh,
252
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,040
Washington Monuments,
not a lot of Grand Canyons.
253
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,366
- Do we need to spell
this out for you? - Maybe.
254
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,602
A lot of letters,
not a lot of envelopes.
255
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:58,238
A lot of prairie dogs,
not a lot of prairie dog holes.
256
00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:00,373
A lot of feet,
not a lot of socks.
257
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,509
- Ham gets it.
- Tons of DVDs,
258
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:04,978
not a ton of DVD shelves
to put 'em on?
259
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,113
Oh, uh, kinda. Yeah.
Good try, Moon.
260
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,681
A lot of Andre the Giants,
261
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:11,317
not a lot of gigantic
sleeping bags.
262
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,219
Uh, what are you guys
talking about?!
263
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,721
A lot of men, very few women.
264
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,290
Oh... okay, then, yeah.
265
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,901
After school, we should help Dad
practice dating.
266
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,960
And who better to practice on
than your own kids?
267
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:25,298
Exactly. No one knows Dad's
romantic needs better than us.
268
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:28,735
- Judy, hi.
- JUDY: The longest walk - of my life.
269
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:31,838
(screams): Oh, hi, hair.
I mean hi there, Steven.
270
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,774
(laughs):
I didn't know you'd be here in my mouth.
271
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,676
No, I mean here, near my locker.
272
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,412
- (laughs nervously)
- Yep, here I am.
273
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:40,856
I was wondering if
maybe this weekend
274
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,549
you wanted to, uh, hang out.
275
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:45,685
Oh, huh, I wish, because, um,
on weekends I travel
276
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:46,953
as a flight attendant.
277
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,589
So I'll be in Frankfurt,
Germany.
278
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:52,592
Okay, uh, well,
maybe during the week, then?
279
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,227
I mean, I had a lot of fun
with you,
280
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,504
and I think you're really great.
281
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,130
I think you're great, too.
282
00:09:57,197 --> 00:10:00,500
Okay, now I have to go stand
over there because I‐‐ Wow!
283
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,202
You know what,
I just farted, actually,
284
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,512
and I'm allergic
to my own farts,
285
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:04,580
so I've got to keep on moving.
286
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,206
No, don't follow me, please.
287
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,783
It's not safe, um,
'cause I'm still farting,
288
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,318
so you don't want to enter
the blast zone, okay.
289
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,277
Whoo‐hoo, melt your face off.
290
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,545
Wow, ew, gross. Bye‐bye.
291
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,714
- Bye‐bye. Stay there.
- B‐Bye.
292
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,183
Okay, ready?
Toss him back.
293
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,585
- Let's go again.
- Hey, guys.
294
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:19,929
Do you maybe want
to take a break
295
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,187
from teaching Timothy to fly
296
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,722
so that we can teach Dad
to date?
297
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,692
No can do, Judy, he's pretty
motivated right now.
298
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:28,695
Actually, he fell asleep.
(gasps) Or died?
299
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:29,896
Nah, he's sleeping.
300
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,764
Let's get started.
Dad, it's been a while
301
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:33,900
since your last date,
so this is just practice
302
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,569
to help you with your
conversation skills.
303
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,338
Sorry I said "skills" like that.
304
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,039
In my mind it was gonna be cool.
305
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,608
Judy, I loved it.
306
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,552
So, Dad, why don't you go ahead
and take a seat there
307
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,536
- across from Wolf‐‐
he'll be your date. - Charmed.
308
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:46,779
I'll be your waitress.
309
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:48,948
And everyone else
will judge you.
310
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,216
- Sound good?
- Not really.
311
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,351
And... action.
312
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,086
Now, uh, Dad, just relax
313
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,754
and pretend
I'm a wonderful lady.
314
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,390
(feminine voice):
So, Beef, what do you do?
315
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,159
I kill fish for money.
316
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,427
My, my, my!
317
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,862
Okay, uh‐uh, this is not good.
318
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,898
Listen, not to brag,
but before I met Wolf,
319
00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:06,299
I went on a lot of dates.
320
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,977
(normal voice):
Course you did, my swipe queen.
321
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,502
Heart eyes emoji big‐time.
322
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,604
And honestly, Beef,
if you want to be a good date,
323
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,140
there are really only
three rules to remember.
324
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,442
One, ask her questions
about herself.
325
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,011
Two, listen to her answers.
326
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:19,755
Three, don't ask for any
of my cheesy garlic knots
327
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:21,548
with two different
dipping sauces.
328
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,449
If you want that,
order it yourself.
329
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,185
I always order my own sauces.
330
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,452
I'm not a sociopath.
331
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,721
Great. Now let's try
this date again.
332
00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:29,656
So...
333
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:31,090
(feminine voice):
So...
334
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:32,592
(whispers):
Ask her questions.
335
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:36,029
Um, okay.
What kind of fish do you like?
336
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:37,664
I love trout.
337
00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:39,942
- What kind of fish do you hate?
- No more fish talk, Beef.
338
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,167
If you were a fish,
339
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,936
- what kind of fish would you be?
- No.
340
00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:44,613
- What kind of fish
wouldn't you...? Damn it! - No.
341
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,941
How about we get some drinks
and loosen up?
342
00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:49,475
I'll take a fish shake.
343
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,877
- Dad, no!
- Nope.
344
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:54,847
I'm trying.
Do you have a driver's license?
345
00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:55,949
- Yes.
- Me, too.
346
00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:57,684
Okay, that's better, I guess.
347
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,752
Just a few more hours
of practice,
348
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:02,155
maybe, like, 12 more hours,
and tomorrow we'll be kissing
349
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,823
and dating like
you wouldn't believe.
350
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,492
Hey, guys, next time I'd like
to play one of the dates.
351
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,528
Cheryl.
She's a business associate
352
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,563
who knows what she wants.
353
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,731
Or does she?
354
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:14,300
Okay, we are about
to send Dad in there
355
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,245
to hopefully make some sort
of romantic connection
356
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:17,770
which is
incredibly important for him
357
00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:20,206
and not so much for me
because I am very confident
358
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,474
about dating and kissing.
359
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:22,809
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
360
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,644
Now, Dad,
if you feel like running,
361
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:27,247
just picture us all
at the library carving out
362
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,282
some quality time
to learn about chain saws.
363
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,383
And each other.
364
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,951
But in case you do run...
365
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:34,187
I'll be sitting near the
front door to block that exit,
366
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,888
Wolf and Honeybee,
you stick close by him
367
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:37,490
and keep him from talking
about fish.
368
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:38,867
Moon and Ham,
you go around the back
369
00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:40,627
in case he tries
to escape that way.
370
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,638
And don't get distracted
by teaching Timothy to fly.
371
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:43,763
We won't.
372
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,040
Do you know that you
just winked at me?
373
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:46,332
- I do.
- Okay.
374
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:47,867
If I die in there,
375
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,135
there's a box in my closet
376
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,937
labeled "Poems for Andie MacDowell"
377
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:54,440
that I'd prefer
you threw out without opening.
378
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,277
HONEYBEE:
Ooh, look at all those meats we could win!
379
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,414
It's like the zoo.
But they're all dead.
380
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,749
It's roasting in here.
381
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,651
The thermostat says
52 degrees, Dad.
382
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,819
Well, it feels like
I'm in Cabo St. Lucas.
383
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:08,430
Okay, well, I'm just gonna
go sit over there
384
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,722
with my little poem pad
385
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,457
and guard the door.
Go get 'em, Dad.
386
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,393
Oof. Are there even
any women here?
387
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,094
Sure, sure. Oh, uh, look.
388
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:16,629
There's Vera.
389
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,140
And there's that lady there,
who I've never seen.
390
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:20,566
♪ You can keep me warm... ♪
391
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:25,204
Hark, a siren pulls me
onto yonder rocks.
392
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:30,877
Looks like someone buttered
your dad's roll.
393
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:32,087
Go on and get her, Beefcheeks.
394
00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:33,479
Oh, please, a woman like that
395
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,315
has her pick of the pumpkins.
396
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:36,749
Be confident.
397
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,584
If you weren't my dad,
I'd be so into you.
398
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,354
- Um...
- You just need a little Dutch courage, Pops.
399
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,022
Yeah, Beef, you hit the bar
400
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:44,791
while we go get
some raffle tickets.
401
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:46,359
I'll take a cup with ice,
402
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,137
and then a lot of alcohol
poured all over the ice.
403
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,896
And your largest
appetizer sampler.
404
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:53,299
Nothing sets a romantic mood
like the smell of warm cheese.
405
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,201
(groans)
He's supposed to be mingling.
406
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,070
- Mingling and singling.
- Hi, Judy.
407
00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:58,938
JUDY:
I mean "lodged."
408
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,473
(yelps)
Oh. Hey, Steven.
409
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,540
There you are again.
410
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:02,751
Which I am open to, of course,
411
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,010
because... I'm normal.
412
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,478
Wait. What are you doing here?
413
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:07,113
My mom's
the cocktail server here,
414
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,915
so this is kind of like
my second home.
415
00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,049
Can I buy you a soda?
416
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:12,785
Oh! My... accountant is here...
417
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,253
outside with my‐‐
418
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,123
He has my taxes,
which are due... tonight.
419
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,791
So... (laughs) with regret...
420
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:22,695
I must walk away
from you to go to see him.
421
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,030
Okay.
422
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,466
If you're wondering
if any of the meats are haunted,
423
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,201
it's just the reindeer sausages.
424
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,436
But is friendly ghost.
Likes to watch me toilet.
425
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,672
Look at that! He's going in.
426
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:35,375
Yeah, Dad! Hit on
that woman! Respectfully!
427
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,643
Excuse me, miss, but I seem
to have ordered myself
428
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,313
a slightly too large
appetizer platter.
429
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,824
Would you have any interest
in sharing?
430
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,750
Yeah, if you think
there's enough for two.
431
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,385
Hot damn.
432
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,954
- Name's Dell.
- Beef.
433
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,022
So... do... you...
434
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,824
- fish?
- I do fish!
435
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:52,825
You do?
436
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:53,926
Well, I used to.
437
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:55,037
I'm just getting back into it.
438
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,562
I hadn't been out much
439
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,307
since my husband Jasper died
while we were fishing.
440
00:14:58,331 --> 00:14:59,975
There's nothing
quite like watching a dock line
441
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:02,044
wrap around your husband's neck,
pull him into the water,
442
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,046
and then pop his head clean off
right in front of you
443
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,048
- to put you off fishing
for a spell. - That makes sense.
444
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,808
Yeah, took me a while
to find the damn thing, too.
445
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:10,376
His head, that is.
446
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:11,878
I put his favorite hat on him
447
00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:13,522
after they stitched
his head back to his neck.
448
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,823
Didn't have to brush his hair,
at least.
449
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,816
He hated getting
his hair brushed.
450
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:17,950
He said it was too fancy.
451
00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:19,118
Well, he wasn't wrong.
452
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:21,087
Listen, I know we just met,
453
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,955
and this is gonna sound wild,
but...
454
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:25,558
do you want to go outside
and get some air?
455
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,760
I sure do.
It's roasting in here.
456
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:30,797
For our next meat bundle,
we have a side of elk.
457
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:33,599
And our winner is...
Honeybee Shaw!
458
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:34,867
Yay!
459
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,814
Let's put this on our bed
and roll around on it.
460
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,739
Uh, hey, Judy, what you doing
in the trash there?
461
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,040
Oh, well, Steven's here,
462
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,875
and so I'm picking out
a gift for him.
463
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,610
- In the dumpster?
- Uh...
464
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:46,946
- Wait, is that your...?
- Dad.
465
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:48,056
- And he's with a...
- Woman?
466
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,949
Wow. I knew he could do it.
467
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:51,284
Looks like they're hopping on
468
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,419
the choo‐choo train
to Smooch City.
469
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,188
Next stop: Kissachusetts.
470
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,657
So tell me
about this plan again?
471
00:15:57,723 --> 00:16:01,060
I'm gonna leap off a branch
and show Timothy how to fly.
472
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:04,297
Yeah, but you can't fly, so...
473
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,966
Mmm. I can kind of soar.
He'll see what I'm getting at.
474
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:08,935
BEEF:
What an excellent view.
475
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,503
DELL:
Yeah, the ocean is
476
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,104
both breathtakingly beautiful
477
00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:13,731
and the foundation
of our local economy.
478
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,842
This is so romantic.
479
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,243
So, I was thinking.
480
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,679
Maybe sometime,
only if you wanted to,
481
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:22,949
uh, maybe we could do
a thing... together.
482
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,984
Like a‐a film... or chores.
483
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,051
You mean like a date?
484
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:28,287
No, no, no. Well... yes.
485
00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:30,523
Like a date.
Exactly like a date.
486
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,625
Oh, my God.
487
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,760
♪ Well, I'm singing a song ♪
488
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,163
♪ About how Alanis was wrong ♪
489
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,565
♪ Me and my dad are gonna date ♪
490
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,368
♪ But not each other,
that sounded weird ♪
491
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:45,104
♪ We're gonna date
separate people ♪
492
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,807
♪ My dad's gonna date
this lady right here ♪
493
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:49,942
- ♪ 'Cause she's gonna say ♪
- Hmm.
494
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,478
- ♪ I said she's gonna say... ♪
- No.
495
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,679
(gasps)
496
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:54,680
MOON:
Aah!
497
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:57,016
Did he see me?
Is he flying?
498
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:58,651
Oh. This is the part of Top Gun
499
00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:01,020
you weren't supposed
to see, Timothy.
500
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:06,335
Well, this night was a disaster.
501
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,894
That rejection
was pretty brutal.
502
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,629
What exactly did she say to Dad?
503
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:10,963
- "No."
- Yikes.
504
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,798
‐Yeah.
‐BEEF: Good news. It's just a sprain.
505
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,067
I asked them if they could
rearrange my arm bones
506
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,669
into wings, but they said no.
507
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,539
(groans) That's insane.
Did they say why?
508
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:21,774
JUDY:
Who's that on the porch?
509
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,175
An intruder? Is it go time?
510
00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:24,911
I believe that intruder
511
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,580
is Dell, the leathery angel
I met this evening.
512
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,248
(groans)
I can't believe it.
513
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,250
First she rejects you,
now she's here to rob us?
514
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:33,553
Guys, I don't think
she's here to rob us.
515
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,955
She's probably here to say
she made a terrible mistake
516
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:37,256
and that Dad's the greatest
517
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:38,400
and of course
she'll go out with him.
518
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:39,926
Okay, but if she does rob us,
519
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,003
she's not getting this meat.
520
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:41,961
I would die for this meat.
521
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,195
Hello there, Beef.
522
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:44,964
I wondered
if I could have a word.
523
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,299
Of course.
524
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:47,733
Uh, everyone,
why don't you head in
525
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,411
and give me and Dad
and Dell some privacy.
526
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:51,370
- Judy...
- Okay, but if you need me,
527
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:53,439
I'll just be listening
at the door.
528
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,708
About that invitation
to go on a date...
529
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,109
‐(gasps) ‐Judy.
530
00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:58,644
- Sorry!
- HAM: I'm here, too.
531
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,012
Okay.
532
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,456
WOLF: Uh, we are also here,
Dad, full disclosure.
533
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,982
Me and Honeybee and Moon.
534
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,250
Got it. Thank you.
535
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:05,785
WOLF:
You are welcome, big guy.
536
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:07,186
You were saying?
537
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,564
Well, I didn't get a chance
to give you
538
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,323
a full answer
at the raffle tonight.
539
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:11,767
WOLF:
Could you speak up just a touch more, Dell?
540
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,626
I'm having a little
trouble hearing you.
541
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:14,927
Oh, okay.
542
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:16,572
- (louder): How‐how's this?
- That's better, thanks!
543
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,165
I, uh, really didn't go
to the Meat and Meet
544
00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:20,866
to meet anyone.
545
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,268
Romantically, that is.
546
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:25,037
Thing is, Jasper was not
the first of my husbands
547
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,073
- to succumb to a terrible fate.
- I see.
548
00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:29,108
My first love, Donovan,
froze to death.
549
00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:31,110
In our freezer.
He wasn't very bright.
550
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,645
The next two fell in holes.
551
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,690
And Richard was in a plane
crash, which he survived,
552
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,482
but then his friend Kevin
ate him.
553
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:37,216
Good Lord.
554
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,851
Yeah. So you can see how
555
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,629
I've begun to think of myself
as something of a curse.
556
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,497
And you seem like a good guy
who does not deserve
557
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:44,857
to suffer a gruesome death
because you went out with me.
558
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:45,925
WOLF:
A‐greed!
559
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,293
- Wolf.
- Love you, Dad.
560
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,861
So, if you're out
of the dating game,
561
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,296
why were you at a singles mixer?
562
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,264
I figured
I might do some networking,
563
00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:54,734
maybe meet someone
who had a boat, find a job.
564
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,068
Well, I have a boat.
565
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,803
And I might be able
to use some help
566
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,748
on Tuesdays and Thursdays when
my daughter works at the mall.
567
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,375
I'm afraid the red hot flames
of our instant attraction
568
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:05,578
might make concentrating
on the fish a little difficult.
569
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:06,679
Understood.
570
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,156
But maybe after
a cooling‐off period,
571
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,116
you could ask me again.
572
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,518
About the date or the job?
573
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:13,653
Both.
574
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:14,954
This might be crazy,
575
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,689
but I think I'm Team Dell.
576
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,825
Hey, Dad.
I just wanted to say sorry.
577
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,193
For what?
578
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:22,337
I... I wanted you
to find love again,
579
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:23,663
but you wound up getting hurt.
580
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,866
Maybe it is better
just to... not do stuff.
581
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:29,001
Even though I was rejected,
582
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,269
I‐it was good to try again.
583
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,904
- You were right.
- Oh, good.
584
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:34,807
So, then...
So, then, you're good.
585
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:36,108
Good.
586
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,610
What's really bothering you,
Judes?
587
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,146
Do you think there's
something in our nature‐‐
588
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:41,681
I mean me and you‐‐
589
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:43,816
that makes us not want
to put ourselves out there...
590
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,351
like, for love?
591
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,095
Like, we get a little hair
in our mouth one time
592
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,421
and then we're afraid
593
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:49,765
that we're always gonna
get hair in our mouth.
594
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:51,123
You know what I mean?
595
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,634
Do you think there's
something wrong with us?
596
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:53,726
Wrong with us?
597
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,061
Nah. We're great.
598
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:57,196
We're just also picky.
And sensitive.
599
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:58,698
(laughs)
And a little dramatic.
600
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:01,534
And maybe watching me
get hurt by your mom
601
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,903
made you a little nervous
about relationships.
602
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,372
I mean, the year that you got
all that hair in your teeth
603
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,874
- was the year that she...
- Left.
604
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,376
Huh. I guess it was.
605
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:13,045
So maybe we both just got
a little gun‐shy.
606
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:14,413
And it's not surprising
607
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,348
that sometimes
we need a little push.
608
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:19,085
Also, to be honest,
it was a lot of hair, Judy.
609
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,386
Like, a lot.
610
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,055
Dad, I think
I need a little push.
611
00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,423
Okay.
612
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:25,701
Can you snow machine me
back to that bar?
613
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,359
- Right now?
- Right now.
614
00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:28,994
Sure.
Why wouldn't I snow machine
615
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,229
my 16‐year‐old daughter
616
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:32,631
to a bar at 11:00 at night?
617
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,869
Dad, avert your eyes.
618
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:38,270
Hey, look. A truck.
619
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:39,905
Oh. Hey, Judy.
620
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:41,640
Oh, hello, Steven.
621
00:20:41,707 --> 00:20:43,752
Um, the thing is, I didn't kiss
you on the porch the other night
622
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,345
because I was afraid that your
hair would end up in my mouth.
623
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,480
And it is a long story.
624
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:49,348
But I do still want to kiss you
625
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,450
if you still want to kiss me.
626
00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:53,886
I mean, warn me
if the farts are starting again,
627
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:55,454
but yes.
628
00:20:57,723 --> 00:20:59,925
♪ ♪
629
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,629
♪ All my girls know
how this one goes ♪
630
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,765
♪ So many birds
lookin' in your windows ♪
631
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:08,367
♪ Don't give it away
to a gull or pigeon ♪
632
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,703
♪ Your body is
your own dominion ♪
633
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,738
♪ Don't let a grouse
peek in your blouse ♪
634
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,940
♪ Don't let a peacock
down your knee socks ♪
635
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:17,676
♪ Don't let a seagull
look at your keyhole ♪
636
00:21:17,743 --> 00:21:20,346
♪ I've met a lot of birds
and they're all B‐holes ♪
637
00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:22,214
♪ Eyes to yourself, Timothy ♪
638
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,750
♪ Keep your rooster crest
out of my vest ♪
639
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:27,286
♪ I'm closing my blinds,
go back to your nest. ♪
640
00:21:27,353 --> 00:21:28,287
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
641
00:21:28,354 --> 00:21:30,055
and TOYOTA.
642
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,758
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
643
00:21:32,808 --> 00:21:37,358
Repair and Synchronization by
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