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1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,879
(PHONE RINGS)
2
00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:09,008
- Howard Wolowitz.
- DAVE: (OVER PHONE) Hey.
3
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:12,636
Dave Roeger, here, at NASA. We need
to talk about your upcoming mission.
4
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:16,682
Yes, yes, I've been doing
my push-ups.
5
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:20,853
I'm still stuck at nine, but...
6
00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:25,816
That's going all the way down
with no one holding me, heh.
7
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,861
DAVE: (OVER PHONE)
That's great, uh, but that's not why I called.
8
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:30,529
We've run into a bit of a snafu.
9
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,198
Your Soyuz capsule failed
the pressurization test...
10
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:36,910
...so bottom line,
the mission's been scrubbed.
11
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:41,415
You're kidding.
So, what does that mean?
12
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,043
Uh-huh.
13
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,670
Uh-huh, heh.
14
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,840
Boy, I gotta tell you,
I'm really disappointed.
15
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:54,178
This was my dream
ever since I was a little kid.
16
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:57,890
Okay, uh... Thanks for the call.
17
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,809
Yeah, you too.
18
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,270
Yes! Thank you!
19
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,065
(LAUGHING)
20
00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:09,359
Oh, I'm not gonna die in space!
21
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,738
Phew, I'm gonna die the way God intended.
22
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:17,117
In my late 50s
with a heart full of pastrami.
23
00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:46,063
SHELDON:
I'm going to need a larger shirt.
24
00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:51,735
This one's a little tight under the arms.
25
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,278
Okay.
26
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,115
Maybe it's tight because
you're wearing long underwear?
27
00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:58,158
Yes, of course that's why it's tight.
28
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,745
Let me rephrase the question.
29
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,456
- Why are you wearing long underwear?
- You're kidding.
30
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:07,751
Shouldn't the question be,
why aren't you?
31
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:11,338
No, it should be, why are you?
32
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,799
Leonard, these rental tuxedos...
33
00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:17,052
...have been worn by hundreds
of sweaty strangers.
34
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,263
I don't like my own sweat
touching my skin.
35
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,640
How do you think I feel about theirs?
36
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:25,477
- Why don't you slip this on?
- Said the hangman offering a noose.
37
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:30,274
Heh, well, that wasn't as entertaining
as when he rents bowling shoes...
38
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,109
...but it was right up there.
39
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,988
Well, that's it.
My orders have been rescinded.
40
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,532
I am officially "no go" to space.
41
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:42,703
I'm sorry, Howard, but I gotta tell you,
I'm a little relieved you're not going.
42
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:44,413
- Why?
- Come on.
43
00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:47,958
You were gonna go in a rocket
designed in the 1960s by the Russians.
44
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,376
Yeah, so?
45
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,837
When was the last time
you heard someone say:
46
00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:55,757
"Ooh, check out this Blu-ray player.
It must be good, it was built in Russia"?
47
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:00,220
Well, their technology isn't that bad.
48
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:04,016
When you come back to Earth in a Soyuz
capsule, you free-fall from space...
49
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:07,477
...at 500 miles per hour, and the only
thing that slows you down...
50
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,939
...is a parachute that pops out
before you crash into the ground.
51
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,609
The thing was designed
by the same brilliant minds...
52
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:16,820
...who were unable to capture
Rocky and Bullwinkle.
53
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,241
All right, well, whatever.
I wasn't worried.
54
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,492
You weren't?
55
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:26,038
Okay, let me explain
the difference between you and me.
56
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:30,417
You watch Star Trek, I live it.
57
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,338
Oh, I don't remember
the episode of Star Trek...
58
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:38,550
...where the guy never goes to space
and brags about it in a tuxedo store.
59
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,137
Make all the jokes you want, but there's
only one of us brave enough...
60
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,431
...to almost do what I almost did.
61
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:48,185
SHELDON:
Ah, much better.
62
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,855
You must be burning up.
63
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,608
A little. But not more
than your urethrae will be...
64
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:57,152
...after whatever's in those pants
swims up them.
65
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:04,868
Well, I cut quite the dashing
yet hygienic figure, don't I?
66
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,330
I look like the Flash
about to get married.
67
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:14,294
Oh, a tissue! A tissue! Oh, good Lord!
68
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,546
Uh, where's he going?
69
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,882
He keeps emergency Purell
in the car.
70
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,300
Keys. Keys. Keys.
71
00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:27,266
- Hey, you.
- Before I come in, you should know...
72
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,476
...I have gas.
73
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,813
For the record,
not your worst opening line.
74
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:36,900
Check it out. It's the gas I use
in my laser to support high voltages.
75
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:41,363
But it also has an interesting
secondary use.
76
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,448
Here. Breathe this in.
77
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:47,286
But before I do it, if you're a cop,
you have to tell me, right?
78
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:51,248
- Just try it.
- Okay.
79
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:56,211
(IN DEEP VOICE) what's it supposed to...?
Oh, my God, that is so freaky.
80
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,587
(LAUGHS)
81
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,256
(PENNY CHUCKLES)
82
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:03,135
(IN DEEP VOICE)
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
83
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,386
(PENNY LAUGHS)
84
00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:06,096
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Again. Me, me. Okay.
85
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,347
(LEONARD LAUGHS)
86
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,058
(IN DEEP VOICE)
Leonard, I am your father.
87
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,728
(BOTH LAUGH)
88
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:15,439
(IN NORMAL VOICE) I have never
been more attracted to a woman...
89
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,275
- ...who sounds like a man in my life.
- Aw, heh.
90
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,444
Mm.
91
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:26,074
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Hey, you know
how we've been taking things slow?
92
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,326
LEONARD:
Mm-hm.
93
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:28,827
Well, I've been thinking...
94
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:33,915
...and maybe I'm ready
to take things a little faster.
95
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,376
- Oh, great.
- Mm-hm.
96
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:40,672
And I promise, after waiting four months,
fast is what you're gonna get.
97
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:45,886
Just... Just one thing.
We're in a great place right now.
98
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:49,056
I don't wanna do anything
that will make stuff weird again.
99
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,475
- So we won't let it get weird.
- Okay.
100
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,311
Oh, just a heads up. Mm.
Since the last time you saw me naked...
101
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,355
...I got a Cookie Monster tattoo.
102
00:05:56,564 --> 00:06:00,525
The acceptable responses when you
see it are "awesome" or nothing.
103
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,486
What about...
104
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,030
(IN LOW VOICE)
...cookies.
105
00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:06,740
(LEONARD CHUCKLES)
106
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,244
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
107
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:15,165
SHELDON:
Amy. Amy. Amy
108
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,418
Seven o'clock. Right on time.
109
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,879
It's not an accident.
110
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,340
I waited outside your door
for 20 minutes.
111
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,967
Well, dinner's almost ready.
112
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:30,138
I must say I was surprised you chose to
spend our date-night in your apartment.
113
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,473
Well, as I mentioned, uh...
114
00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:35,769
...the Pasadena City Council
is debating longer crosswalk times...
115
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:39,064
...and later, the Lego store
is having a Midnight Madness sale.
116
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,900
You ask anyone, that's a hot date.
117
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:46,154
Tempting choices, but I have
something special planned for tonight.
118
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:49,491
What can be more special than having
an adequate amount of time...
119
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,620
...to cross the street on your way
to buy a tiny Lego Indiana Jones?
120
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,623
With our friends moving forward
in relationships...
121
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,251
...I have decided
we should make progress in ours.
122
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,628
Oh, dear Lord.
123
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,089
Two years ago,
we didn't even know each other...
124
00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:07,175
...and now I'm in your apartment
after dark.
125
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,179
How much faster can this thing go?
126
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,473
Had a feeling you'd be reluctant...
127
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:16,726
...which is why I'm going to dip
into my bag of tricks.
128
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:20,021
Oh, heh, you brain-monkeys kill me.
Dip away.
129
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:24,860
I have devised an experiment that
I believe will increase your feelings...
130
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:29,114
- ...for me in an accelerated time-frame.
- Well, how do you propose to do that?
131
00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:32,868
Uh, I hope you're not thinking about
some sort of LSD thought-control.
132
00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:36,079
There's only one mind-expanding drug
that this man enjoys.
133
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,331
And that's called school.
134
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,918
Human beings form
emotional attachments as they grow up.
135
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,005
In your case, to your mother,
superheroes, et cetera.
136
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,507
I'm going to attempt an experiment...
137
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,427
...that will get you
to transfer those feelings to me.
138
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,637
Well, seems what's on
the menu tonight...
139
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:56,057
...is malarkey
with a big side of poppycock.
140
00:07:56,726 --> 00:08:00,937
We'll see. Let's start with
a little romantic dinner music, shall we?
141
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:04,316
(SUPER MARIO BROTHERS THEME
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
142
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:07,777
- The "Super Mario Brothers" theme?
- Yes.
143
00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:12,157
I see what you're doing.
You're attempting to build on the work...
144
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,951
...of Ebbinghaus by triggering
an involuntary memory...
145
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,453
...of me playing that game.
146
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:19,748
Admittedly the happiest 600 hours
of my childhood.
147
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,751
- But it won't work.
- Fine.
148
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,838
There's no reason we can't have a lovely
dinner. Why don't you have a seat?
149
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:30,467
(SHELDON IMITATING
MARIO THEME SONG)
150
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:35,680
- May I offer you something to drink?
- You know I don't drink.
151
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,183
Not even Strawberry Quik?
152
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,395
I love Strawberry Quik.
153
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:45,690
It's my favorite pink fluid...
154
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,693
...uh, narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol.
155
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:56,034
Oh, I know. I think it will go nicely
with what I have prepared for dinner.
156
00:08:56,244 --> 00:09:00,080
Spaghetti with little pieces
of hot dog cut up in it.
157
00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:02,165
- Just like your mommy used to make.
- Oh.
158
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,668
Yummy, yummy.
159
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,837
Yeah, we should do this more often.
160
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,429
Uh-oh.
161
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:21,518
I'm sorry, I did. I crossed a line.
I didn't mean to!
162
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,895
Who says that
right in the middle of sex?
163
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,564
I don't know. It just came out.
164
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:28,108
People say weird things
during sex all the time.
165
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:31,736
- Well, they sure as hell don't say that.
- Lt was the heat of the moment.
166
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,656
No, the heat of the moment is,
"Yeah, just like that"...
167
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:37,409
...not, "Will you marry me?"
168
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:42,914
- I'm sorry, just give me another chance.
- So you can crawl under covers and go:
169
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:47,168
"Hey baby, wanna go look for houses
in neighborhoods with good schools"?
170
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:52,048
Again, I'm sorry. With Howard
and Bernadette getting married...
171
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,509
...I got caught up
in a little wedding fever.
172
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,094
I take it back.
173
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,806
You can't take something like that back.
What are we supposed to do now?
174
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:05,687
Okay, at some point, we'll look back
and this is going to be a funny story.
175
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:08,148
Why don't we just start
doing that now?
176
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:09,983
- You're kidding.
- No.
177
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:13,945
Hey, do you remember...
178
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:19,284
...that time when I proposed to you
in bed, heh?
179
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,495
And you were all, like,
"What are you doing"?
180
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,289
(CHUCKLING)
181
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,333
That was so funny.
182
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,003
So funny.
183
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:34,633
- It's not funny.
- Just give it a minute.
184
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,303
Is that a little smile I see there?
185
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,389
I should go.
186
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:47,020
Hey, I was thinking, for our first dance
at the wedding...
187
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:50,732
...what if we learn the final number
from Dirty Dancing?
188
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,194
- You're kidding.
- No, come on.
189
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:58,490
How cool would that be?
Me running into your arms.
190
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:02,035
You lifting me up into the air.
191
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,204
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
192
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:07,374
- You're in a good mood.
- Yeah, well, why wouldn't I be?
193
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,834
I'm marrying the girl of my dreams...
194
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:12,879
...and finally got my mother to agree
not to come on our honeymoon.
195
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,589
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
196
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:15,840
(PHONE RINGS)
197
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,676
Oh, hang on.
198
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,011
Oh, it's NASA.
199
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,471
Wolowitz.
200
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,349
Oh, hi, Dave. What's up, heh?
201
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,561
No kidding. Really, heh?
202
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:33,066
Well, that's great news.
203
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,652
Great, great news.
204
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:40,699
All right, I'll watch my e-mail
for the details.
205
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:43,785
Okay, talk soon.
206
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,454
What's so great?
207
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:50,333
It looks like I'm going into space
after all, heh.
208
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,711
Howie, that's wonderful.
209
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:56,005
Uh-huh, wonderful.
210
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:58,717
Yay!
211
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,973
What happened?
I thought they cancelled your mission.
212
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:09,060
They... They did.
But NASA really wants my telescope...
213
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:13,481
...up on the space station, so they're
putting me on an earlier launch.
214
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,442
When?
215
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:17,736
A week from Friday.
216
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:20,530
What? We're getting married
that Sunday.
217
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:26,745
You're right, heh. I... I can't go to space.
I have to get married...
218
00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:30,373
...and no one can say that's not
a good reason. I'll call him back.
219
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,836
Wait. I don't wanna be the one
who stands in your way.
220
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:38,506
Well, too bad, you already did.
It's a done deal. But I forgive you.
221
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,009
No. That's not how I wanna start
our marriage.
222
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:44,262
Killing your dream? We'll have
the wedding when you get back.
223
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:48,767
Yeah, but what about all the plans
and the guests?
224
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,018
We'll call them.
225
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:53,980
Although my dad's gonna go
a little nutso over losing his deposits.
226
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,901
You're right, he is.
227
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,028
Your dad's gonna be furious.
228
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,781
There's no way he's gonna let us
postpone this wedding.
229
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,991
Well, we tried.
230
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:09,120
I'll talk to him.
He won't say no to his little girl, heh.
231
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:13,541
No, I... l should talk to him.
You know, man to man.
232
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,126
Howie, my dad can be a bully.
233
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:17,420
He's gonna make you cancel
your flight.
234
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,632
Yeah, we can only hope, heh,
that he doesn't.
235
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:27,931
Bishop to queen four, level two.
236
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:32,977
- Check.
- Sheldon, Knight takes Bishop.
237
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,021
You all right?
238
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,440
I'm fine.
239
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:41,611
Are you? You left your queen exposed
from above...
240
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:45,114
...trapped your knight in the corner,
and you keep sighing and saying:
241
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,783
"Why me?"
242
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,451
(SIGHS)
243
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,994
Very well.
244
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,998
Can I ask you a question
about women?
245
00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:58,294
We got you that book last year.
Wasn't everything in there?
246
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:02,173
No. I'm having
a relationship problem with Amy.
247
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,552
And by the way,
that book gave me nightmares.
248
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,513
If it makes you feel any better...
249
00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:11,057
...I screwed things up pretty good
with Penny.
250
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,643
Look at us, Leonard.
251
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:18,523
Engaging in the social convention of
men bellyaching about their old ladies.
252
00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:21,860
I guess we are. So...
253
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:23,486
What's going on?
254
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:27,282
Believe it or not,
Amy has embarked on a campaign...
255
00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:32,412
...to increase my feelings for her
by making me happy.
256
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,500
I'm sorry,
that must be very difficult for you.
257
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,378
It's awful. This morning...
258
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:44,048
...she arranged for me to be
an Amtrak Junior Conductor for the day.
259
00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:49,053
It's usually only open to children.
She got them to make an exception.
260
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,931
Shame on her.
261
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,851
They let me blow the whistle,
Leonard.
262
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,896
She's good.
263
00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:00,481
I know. And it gets worse.
264
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:04,569
Her efforts are causing me
to have affectionate feelings for her...
265
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:07,780
...at inappropriate times.
266
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:12,744
You mean like in bed
or in the shower?
267
00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:17,206
No. And would you please stop
referencing that infernal book?
268
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,376
For example, this morning...
269
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:24,589
...I was calculating the random motion
of virtual particles in a vacuum...
270
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:31,554
...when suddenly, the particles morphed
into an image of Amy's dandruff...
271
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:39,646
...gently cascading down onto her pale,
slightly hunched shoulders.
272
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,189
(SHELDON GROANS)
273
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:44,275
What has that vixen done to me,
Leonard?
274
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,110
How do I make it stop?
275
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:50,114
Well, if you had a physical relationship,
I'd say propose during sex.
276
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:52,992
Turns out that's a real mood-killer.
277
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:56,287
- I assume we're talking about you now?
- Yeah.
278
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:59,791
So that's how this works?
I complain and then you complain...
279
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,502
...and no one offers any solutions?
280
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,421
Pretty much.
281
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,383
Well, no wonder the women
are winning.
282
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,555
Mr. Rostenkowski, are you busy?
283
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:17,225
Just looking at some old pictures.
Come on in.
284
00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:21,688
Family pictures, or...?
Holy crap, that's a dead person.
285
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:25,108
Last murder case before I retired.
286
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,276
How many bodies do you see there?
287
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,738
Careful. It's a trick question.
288
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:37,120
- I'm not sure.
- No, you'll never get it. It's a fraction.
289
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:39,580
How about that, heh.
290
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:44,002
Anyway, sir,
I need to talk to you about something.
291
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,670
Walnut?
292
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,715
No, thank you. I'm allergic.
293
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:54,220
Oh, sure. My partner used to have that.
He's dead now.
294
00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:58,975
- From nuts, heh?
- No, his wife shot him.
295
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:03,730
But she was nuts. So in a way...
296
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,859
Nice story. Anyway...
297
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:10,278
...the reason
I wanted to talk to you is...
298
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:15,241
...NASA has moved up my launch
to the international Space Station.
299
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:19,287
- Yeah, so?
- So the date is going to conflict...
300
00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:22,957
...with me marrying your daughter.
Now, I know what you're going to say.
301
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,752
I made a commitment to Bernadette
and to your family...
302
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:29,756
...and I've got a lot of nerve coming here
and demanding that we postpone this.
303
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:33,176
Well, message heard and understood.
Mission cancelled. Thank you.
304
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,387
Where are you going?
305
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:37,805
I'm sorry.
306
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,224
May I be excused?
307
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:43,186
No, you may not.
Let me tell you something.
308
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:46,481
When I first met you...
You just gonna stand there?
309
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,276
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Is this going to...?
310
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,029
Well, I should sit...
May I be seated? I'll just sit.
311
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:59,118
When I first met you, I didn't like you.
312
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:02,622
I'm aware of that, sir.
313
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:05,583
But then you and I
had some time together.
314
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,251
Uh-huh, heh.
315
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:09,545
It did not get better.
316
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:11,881
Right, right, heh.
317
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,966
That silly Beatle haircut.
318
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,261
You riding around on a red Vespa.
319
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,139
And you're still living at home
with your mother.
320
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:24,769
To be honest, I thought Bernadette
chose you to punish me.
321
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:29,107
But then I heard
about your astronaut thing...
322
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:33,111
...and I realized I judged you too fast.
323
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,447
Maybe you are the right guy
for my little girl.
324
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:40,118
Oh, I am. And just so you know
I'd still be an astronaut...
325
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:41,828
...even if I didn't go to space, heh.
326
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:45,957
You know, I've got an ID card
and a NASA golf shirt.
327
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,208
No, no. You gotta go.
328
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:49,627
You can't turn down
an opportunity like this.
329
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:50,878
(STAMMERS)
330
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,255
But what about the wedding...
331
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,757
...and all the money you put down
for the reception?
332
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,467
You let me worry about that.
333
00:18:56,677 --> 00:19:00,513
You go up to that space station
and you make me proud.
334
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,227
Um, okay.
335
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:07,478
(CHUCKLES)
336
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:09,313
You got a problem with that?
337
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,899
All right, look,
I'm gonna level with you.
338
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,319
I'm terrified about going into space.
339
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,698
I mean, uh,
what if I don't make it back?
340
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,701
It's gonna be okay, son.
341
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,789
- You really think so?
- Of course.
342
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:31,669
A pretty girl like Bernadette.
She'll find a new guy.
343
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,513
- Hey.
- Hey.
344
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,557
- Off to work?
- Yeah.
345
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:47,435
- Have a nice night.
- Okay, you too.
346
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,646
Penny, just wait.
347
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:53,858
I've been thinking about what I said
when we were in bed.
348
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,027
Yeah, I've been thinking about it too.
349
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,279
I noticed you never answered me.
350
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,741
You're right.
351
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,080
No.
352
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:13,878
- Uh, follow-up. Are we still dating?
PENNY: Yep.
353
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:17,548
- Is it still weird because I proposed?
PENNY: Yep.
354
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,425
I have a couple more
quick questions.
355
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:22,595
- Do you wanna call me from the car?
PENNY: Nope.
356
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,058
I played that pretty well.
357
00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:30,144
(MEDICAL TRICORDER BEEPING)
358
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:41,489
Hello, Leonard.
359
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:44,867
- What are you doing?
- We're playing doctor.
360
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:48,454
Star Trek style.
361
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,291
I'm in hell, Leonard.
362
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,087
Don't stop.
363
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,632
(MEDICAL TRICORDER BEEPING)
30188
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