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1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,588
Gentlemen, I think I've come up
with a fun way...
2
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:09,508
...to get young people
interested in science.
3
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,344
Physics Mad Libs.
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,681
Now, give me a number.
5
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,641
- Five.
- Uh-huh.
6
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,102
And an irrational constant.
7
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:21,729
E.
8
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:23,313
And a funny Greek letter.
9
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:26,316
- Gamma.
- I said funny.
10
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,445
- Upsilon?
- Heh, good one.
11
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,406
And an electrical charge.
12
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:35,034
- Positive.
- Ha, ha! Perfect.
13
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:37,911
Okay, get this. Ahem.
14
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,539
"Professor Jones
told the symposium...
15
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:44,835
...he had a new method
for calculating the mass of a muon.
16
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,880
Five times the limit of, heh...
17
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:51,467
...e to the upsilon as it approaches..."
18
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:52,801
Ha, ha, oh, my gosh. Okay.
19
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,386
Okay, no, no. Ahem.
20
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,388
I'll start over.
21
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:57,681
"Professor Jo..."
22
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,850
(LAUGHING)
23
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,311
I haven't seen him laugh that hard...
24
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,772
...since the day Leonard
made that multiplication error.
25
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:07,399
Oh, Lord, that multiplication error.
26
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,777
He thought he carried the one,
but he didn't.
27
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:12,154
(LAUGHING)
28
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:14,740
It's not funny.
That mistake got published.
29
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:17,618
Stop, I'm gonna wet myself.
30
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,746
Guys. Guys, President Seibert
is headed this way.
31
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:23,248
HOWARD: L wonder what he wants.
- He doesn't look happy.
32
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:24,750
I'm guessing he wants Sheldon.
33
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,627
- Dr. Cooper.
- Told you.
34
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,295
SHELDON:
Ah, President Seibert.
35
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,214
I assume you'd like to respond...
36
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:33,258
...to one of the suggestions
I put in the box by your office.
37
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:36,678
No, and stop installing
suggestion boxes everywhere.
38
00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:38,931
You don't like written suggestions.
39
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:42,101
You don't like when I give them
to you while in the men's room.
40
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:45,437
If I didn't know any better,
I'd say you're one of those people...
41
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,981
...who are not open to suggestions.
42
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,860
Dr. Cooper, the Physics Department
tells me you're refusing to take vacation.
43
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,738
- I don't need a vacation.
- You're obligated to take one.
44
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,866
And I'd like you to know
the most often received suggestion...
45
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,869
...in my suggestion box you installed
without asking me is:
46
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,038
"Can Dr. Cooper take a vacation?"
47
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:07,167
Okay, it's settled, then. I'll see you all
on Monday. Except for you.
48
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,087
But if I don't come into work,
what am I supposed to do?
49
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,548
Read, rest, travel.
50
00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:15,259
I hear Afghanistan is nice
this time of year.
51
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,012
Sarcasm?
52
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,973
No, you should go.
53
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:49,835
(THE BLACK EYED PEAS'
"I GOTTA FEELING" PLAYING ON RADIO)
54
00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:51,879
(SINGING)
Tonight's gonna be a good night
55
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:55,507
And tonight's gonna be a good night
56
00:02:55,842 --> 00:03:00,304
And tonight's gonna be a good, good night
57
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,932
Tonight's the night, uh, uh
Let's live it up, uh
58
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,977
I got my money
Let's spend it up...
59
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,146
Good Lord.
60
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,356
Would you stop that caterwauling?
61
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:14,151
(PANTING)
62
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,819
What the hell are you doing?
63
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:18,572
Bleeding from my ears.
64
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:21,783
- What are you doing hiding back there?
- I'm sneaking into work.
65
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:25,204
Now, if the guard at the university
asks what's under the blanket...
66
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,706
...you tell him it's some lobster traps.
67
00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:29,958
- Lobster traps?
- Yes.
68
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:34,171
That's how Velma and Scooby smuggled
Shaggy into the old lighthouse.
69
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,382
What are you gonna do
when you get to the university?
70
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:38,884
People are gonna recognize you.
71
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,469
(SCOFFS)
72
00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:42,679
Will they, Leonard?
73
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,520
Fine. Just get back under your blanket
and I'll drive you there.
74
00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:53,357
And no more singing.
75
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,694
Fine.
76
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:05,535
SHELDON: I have GPS on my phone.
I know you turned around.
77
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,414
I'm so glad you talked Howard...
78
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:12,918
...out of having your wedding invitations
in Klingon.
79
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,754
Turn it over.
80
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,759
I'm hoping my relatives
think it's Hebrew.
81
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,136
(SIGHS)
82
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,721
This is really happening.
83
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,473
I'm gonna be a maid of honor.
84
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,559
'I'm gonna wear a beautiful dress
and walk down that aisle...
85
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:33,397
...and finally,
I will have my special day.
86
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,148
You mean my special day.
87
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,111
They're gonna need an extra-large veil
for somebody's head.
88
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,615
- If I actually ever get married.
- Why wouldn't you?
89
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:46,743
My dad. Because I make
a lot more money than Howie...
90
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,121
...he's putting a lot of pressure on me
to get a prenup.
91
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,081
- Ouch!
- Yeah.
92
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,668
- Howie's gonna freak out.
- Parental pressure can be daunting.
93
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:58,297
I remember the battle with my mother
about shaving my legs.
94
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:02,134
Last year, I finally gave in
and let her do it.
95
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,097
I just don't know
how I'm gonna break it to him.
96
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,392
I'm a believer in breaking bad news
to a guy when you're in bed.
97
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:13,312
That's how I told my high school
boyfriend I slept with his brother.
98
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,898
That's how I told his brother
the same thing.
99
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,278
I don't know.
I don't wanna manipulate him with sex.
100
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,613
Oh, sweetie, that's what sex is for.
101
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,784
The connection between marriage
and money is nothing new.
102
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,662
The term "wed" referred
to the money and livestock...
103
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,581
...the groom paid the bride's father.
104
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:36,209
For example, you're adorable,
intelligent and a good earner.
105
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:40,213
I could conservatively see you going
for at least two oxen and a goose.
106
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,468
You would fetch a unicorn.
107
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:50,974
Sheldon, there are a million
great vacations you could take.
108
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,351
What about Hawaii?
109
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:57,189
Hawaii is a former leper colony
on top of an active volcano...
110
00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,692
...where the disappointing ending
to Lost was filmed.
111
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:05,864
Mahalo for nothing, Hawaii.
112
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,366
How about Florida?
113
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,534
They got Cape Canaveral,
they got Disney.
114
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:13,246
They got my Aunt Ida and the world's
largest collection of diabetic candy.
115
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,207
And plus, if you get sweaty enough...
116
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:18,001
...her plastic-covered furniture
is like a flume ride.
117
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,005
My family took a trip to Florida
when I was a child.
118
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:26,176
A seagull stole a hot dog from me
on the beach.
119
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,552
I got the message.
120
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,222
If I had a week off...
121
00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:33,600
...I'd go back to the Two Bunch Palms
Resort and Spa in the desert.
122
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,395
I tell you, an hour on the massage table
with Trevor...
123
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:39,815
...and you'll feel like you were born
without bones.
124
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,944
I don't think I could ever let a guy
give me a massage.
125
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:47,572
Really? What was I doing to your neck
last night while you were playing Xbox?
126
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,868
Guys, I am living in a dictatorship.
127
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:56,957
(IN DEEP VOICE) "You must take a vacation.
You must have fun. You must enjoy life."
128
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:01,294
I don't think you have a good handle
on dictatorships.
129
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,255
Sheldon, everybody takes vacations.
130
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:06,591
(IN NORMAL VOICE) One time, they tried
to make Richard Feynman take a vacation.
131
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,594
But he chose instead to expand his mind
and learn something new.
132
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,888
He went to work
in his friend's biology lab.
133
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,808
Richard Feynman
was a famous American physicist...
134
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:17,394
...part of the Manhattan Project.
135
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:20,897
Everyone in the world of science
knows who Richard Feynman was.
136
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:23,150
Yeah, now you do too.
137
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:30,782
Oh. I have a brilliant idea.
Amy's a biologist. I'll go work in her lab.
138
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,410
Isn't that just Feynman's idea?
139
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,329
Ten seconds ago you never heard
of him, now you're an expert.
140
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,127
- Hey.
- Hey, you.
141
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:44,629
That your laundry?
You have six things in there.
142
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,131
I didn't have any quarters.
143
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:49,759
So I've been sneaking stuff
into other people's loads all day.
144
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:52,888
If I tell you something,
you promise not to tell anybody?
145
00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:55,390
Doesn't matter what I say,
you're gonna tell me anyway.
146
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,977
Wha...? That is not true.
147
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,772
Bernadette wants a prenup.
148
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,399
LEONARD:
Wow.
149
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,067
That's rough.
150
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,778
If I became a famous movie star
and we got married...
151
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:12,115
- ...you wouldn't sign a prenup?
- Heh, absolutely not.
152
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,451
If I'm gonna be at home
with the kids...
153
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:18,747
...while you're on location
cheating on me with Ryan Gosling...
154
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,626
...then Leonard gots to get paid.
155
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:26,171
So do you think about us
getting married?
156
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:27,797
I think about a lot of things.
157
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,592
I think about us getting married,
about us breaking up.
158
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:34,971
Once in a while, I think about how I didn't
leave a note on that Mercedes I dinged...
159
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,807
...but then I have a glass of wine
and it passes.
160
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,102
Joke all you want,
but you think about it.
161
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:46,274
Well, tell you one thing, if I ever do
get married, no Klingon invitations.
162
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:49,486
Good luck catching a man
with that attitude.
163
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:55,909
Boy, oh, boy, this vacation
is off to a wonderful start.
164
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,537
The smell of formaldehyde.
165
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,831
The whir of the centrifuge.
166
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:06,044
The distant chatter of lab animals
being dispatched for dissection.
167
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:10,715
Mm, I can already feel my cares
just melting away.
168
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,552
I'm excited to work with my boyfriend.
It's romantic.
169
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:16,221
Way to kill the mood.
170
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:20,433
Come on, Sheldon. We can be like
Marie Curie and her husband, Pierre...
171
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,852
...who spent their days
working side by side...
172
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,356
...bathed in the glow of their love
and the radium that ultimately killed her.
173
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:31,278
Screw Beauty and the Beast,
that's the love story Disney should tell.
174
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,239
Okay. What do we start with?
175
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:38,034
Maybe, uh, splicing some genes.
Clone a sheep.
176
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:41,371
Perhaps, uh, grow a human ear
on a mouse's back?
177
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,748
(AS MICKEY MOUSE)
"Ha, ha! I'm a freak."
178
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,919
Well, I'm gonna be doing
some brain stem histology...
179
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,964
...while you put yourself
on the business end of a sponge...
180
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:52,591
...and wash those beakers.
181
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:56,177
Wash those b... Oh, I get it.
182
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,973
Little hazing for the new fellow. Yeah.
Better keep an eye out for, what...
183
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:01,975
...shoe polish on the microscope...
184
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:04,894
...or mad cow disease
in my grilled cheese sandwich?
185
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:08,982
No, I just need those beakers washed.
Hippity-hop, quick like a bunny.
186
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:12,235
Excuse me, you have
Dr. Sheldon Cooper in your lab.
187
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,987
You're gonna make him
do the dishes?
188
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:17,824
That's like asking the incredible Hulk
to open a pickle jar.
189
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:22,120
Sheldon, you've never worked in a lab
like this before.
190
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,623
You have no experience
in the field of biology.
191
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:27,125
I have plenty of experience in biology.
192
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,961
I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998...
193
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:33,882
...and it's still alive. Let's do this.
194
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:41,931
Where's Howard?
195
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,059
No, "Hi, Raj," no, "How are you, Raj?"
196
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:46,936
Just straight to,
"Where's the other white guy?"
197
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:49,522
I'm sorry.
198
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:53,735
So, listen, I heard something about him.
Can you keep it between us?
199
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,446
Ooh, gossip. When I first got here...
200
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,157
...I thought Americans really gossiped
around the water cooler.
201
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,369
I hung out there for a month,
but the only gossip I heard...
202
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:05,789
...was about some creepy guy
hanging out by the water cooler.
203
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,334
Bernadette wants to get a prenup.
204
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,337
Oh, that's a shame.
He's gonna be devastated.
205
00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:14,631
I never know what to do
in these situations.
206
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,841
- Should I give him a heads up?
- Hmm.
207
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,386
I'm gonna give you the advice
I yell at the TV...
208
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,263
...when the Bachelor
is handing out roses.
209
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,308
Follow your heart.
210
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,311
Check it out.
211
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:33,108
Look at the size of that
Rice Krispie Treat. Same price, ha, ha.
212
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:35,527
Ahem, hey, Howard,
I need to tell you something.
213
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:39,197
I know, it's not on my wedding diet.
I don't care.
214
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:47,414
No. Listen, I heard that Bernadette's thinking
about asking you for a prenup.
215
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,708
A prenup?
216
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:51,751
Heh, wow.
217
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:53,545
What are you gonna do?
218
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,215
I don't know.
219
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,384
Follow your heart.
220
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:09,018
You know what?
It's not a big deal.
221
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,187
I mean,
she makes more money than me.
222
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,816
She wants to protect
her financial interests.
223
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:17,944
- It's completely reasonable.
- Good, that's a healthy attitude.
224
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:21,448
Actually, it's good for both of us.
I have assets to protect too.
225
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:23,533
Like what?
226
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,744
Well, I've got some rare comic books.
227
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,246
You know,
the Vespa's almost paid off.
228
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:32,375
Ma and I have a primo
double cemetery plot at Mt. Sinai...
229
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,837
...right near the guy who played
Mr. Roper on Three's Company.
230
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:38,256
Mr. Roper's dead?
231
00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:43,011
You can't just spring that on a guy.
232
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,556
Here you go.
233
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:50,727
This is now the only lab with glassware
washed by a man with two doctorates...
234
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:54,272
...and a restraining order
signed by Carl Sagan.
235
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,108
Soap spots. Wash them again.
236
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:01,154
You're being ridiculous.
Those are perfectly clean.
237
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,365
This beaker used to contain
cerebrospinal fluid...
238
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,618
...from an elephant
that died of syphilis.
239
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,162
If it's, in fact, perfectly clean,
drink from it.
240
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,713
Biologists are mean.
241
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,593
Perhaps this task
will be a little bit more up your alley.
242
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,763
I need you to count the bacteria spores
on these petri dishes.
243
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,098
There was something wrong
with that detergent.
244
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:32,268
- That was way too bubbly.
- I'm sure it was.
245
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,814
I intend to write that soap company
a strongly-worded letter.
246
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:38,983
Yeah, good for you.
Now start counting.
247
00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:41,069
You know what this place needs?
248
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:43,863
A suggestion box.
249
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:49,452
Three hundred sixty-six.
Three hundred sixty-seven.
250
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,954
How's it going?
251
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:53,081
How's counting going?
252
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,666
When I was in kindergarten...
253
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:58,878
...I recited pi to a thousand places
for the school talent show.
254
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,548
- I think I got this.
- Great.
255
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,138
Aw, nuts.
256
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,226
One.
257
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,688
This is preposterous.
258
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,315
You're giving me these tasks
because you're afraid...
259
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:22,986
...if you give me anything meaningful
to do, I'll show you up.
260
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,029
Really? Is that what you think?
261
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,447
Yes, that's what I think.
262
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:29,659
And I'm super smart,
so it's probably true.
263
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,830
Hey, I've been training in the field
of neurobiology for 12 years.
264
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:37,542
You've been here three hours and
you spent one of them in the bathroom.
265
00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:42,714
Well, I'm sorry, it takes me a while to get
things going on an unfamiliar toilet.
266
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:47,343
I've given you the simplest things to do
and you haven't done one of them right.
267
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,554
That's because
I'm not being challenged.
268
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,723
It's the same reason
Einstein failed math.
269
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:54,058
Maybe the math
was too bubbly for him.
270
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,228
You think you're doing science
by cutting up that brain?
271
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,105
They could do the same at Quiznos.
272
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,567
And they'd offer to toast it for me too.
273
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,986
Okay, smart guy.
274
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:09,157
I'm about to remove the locus coeruleus,
which is incredibly delicate work.
275
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,409
Have at it.
276
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,370
All right.
277
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:18,291
I'm no stranger to a little gray matter.
278
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,376
(SHELDON SNIFFS)
279
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:28,509
Locus coeruleus.
280
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,888
You're getting warmer.
It is indeed in the brain.
281
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,601
Hope your hands are steady.
It's the width of a single hair.
282
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:40,063
But this is just biology,
so it's no problem for a genius like you.
283
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:43,358
It's not. I will have you know
in the field of physics we work...
284
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:47,236
...with particles so small they make
fat jokes about the locus coeruleus...
285
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,783
...i.e., when your locus coeruleus
sits around the house...
286
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,077
...it sits around the house.
287
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,582
Oh.
288
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,502
- Are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
- No.
289
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:08,341
What you see
is a man trembling with confidence.
290
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:14,138
Does the locus coeruleus
normally bleed that much?
291
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,724
No, but your thumb does.
292
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,980
Oh, dear.
293
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,944
Yeah, you're a biologist.
294
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:33,616
What are you doing here?
295
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:35,910
I'm on vacation.
296
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:40,623
Social convention dictates that I let
my hair down at a local watering hole.
297
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:46,295
Social convention is stupid.
298
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,340
What happened to your thumb?
299
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,509
Yeah, I have ten fingers
and ten toes.
300
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:55,805
If I tell you a story about each of them,
we'll be here all day. Let's move on.
301
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,599
- What can I get you?
- Ah.
302
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:02,729
Seeing as I'm on vacation,
a piƱa colada seems appropriate.
303
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:05,440
Extra pineapple slices,
extra whipped cream...
304
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:09,861
...extra cherries, extra umbrellas,
and, uh, hold the rum.
305
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,740
Don't let me have too many of those.
306
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,200
Hey. What are you guys doing here?
307
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:19,370
We're grown men.
We drink at bars, heh.
308
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:21,831
No and no.
309
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,960
Everything okay
with you and Bernadette?
310
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,463
Oh, yeah, sure.
311
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:32,175
- You and Amy? Good?
- Oh, better than good.
312
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:36,512
Those girls text me every detail
of their lives as it happens.
313
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,015
I'm not signing a prenup.
314
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:43,186
All right, Wolowitz, listen up. You
sign anything she puts in front of you.
315
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,146
You are the luckiest man alive.
316
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:48,107
If you let her go, there is no way
you can find anyone else.
317
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:51,861
Speaking on behalf of all women, it
is not gonna happen, we had a meeting.
318
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,572
And you.
319
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,533
A grown man fainting at the sight
of a little blood.
320
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:02,497
Excuse me,
this is a fairly substantial wound. You...
321
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:08,461
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
322
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:09,754
Amy. Amy.
323
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,465
Amy.
324
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:15,676
What do you want?
325
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:20,848
I was kind of hoping I could continue
vacationing in your laboratory.
326
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,601
After all, I did book the whole week.
327
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:28,231
Do you honestly think
you can just waltz back in here...
328
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,358
...after the way you behaved
yesterday?
329
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:35,738
I was not myself.
I had lost a lot of thumb blood.
330
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:41,119
- That's not an apology.
- That is your opinion.
331
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,329
I want a real apology.
332
00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:49,752
- I'm sorry that you weren't able to...
- No.
333
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,964
- That my genius got...
- No.
334
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:56,592
- That the soap was so...
- Sheldon.
335
00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,054
Fine.
336
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,226
Sorry.
337
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,937
You're forgiven.
338
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,480
Now, if you wanna stay...
339
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,984
...get started on those beakers.
They're still dirty from yesterday.
340
00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:19,490
Next year, I'm going to Epcot.
341
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:27,123
Are you mad at me?
342
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,041
No. I'm not mad at you.
343
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,878
I just wish you would've come to me...
344
00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:35,590
...so I didn't have to hear it
through the nerd-vine.
345
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:40,011
So, what are we gonna do?
346
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:44,056
- You really want me to sign a prenup?
- I don't know.
347
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,392
My dad's pretty insistent on it,
though.
348
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,519
Why don't I talk to your dad?
349
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,688
- Man to man.
- Really?
350
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,900
- Oh, that'd be so great. Heh.
- Done.
351
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:59,030
I should probably give you a heads up
about a couple things.
352
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:03,659
Even though he's retired from
the police force, he still carries his gun.
353
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,705
But don't worry, he won't shoot it.
It's more of a fashion statement.
354
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,917
Okay, heh.
355
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,377
And just to be safe,
when you talk to him...
356
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:16,047
...don't bring up Jimmy Carter,
gardeners...
357
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:19,550
...foreign people, homosexuals,
Sean Penn, Vatican II, gun control...
358
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,886
...organic food,
the designated hitter rule...
359
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,472
...recycling
or the fact that you're Jewish.
360
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:31,437
Got it, got it.
Will you e-mail me that list, heh?
361
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:36,275
So the thing to watch for,
if he's shouting at you, you're okay.
362
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,277
But if he starts to get real quiet...
363
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:42,198
...leave as quickly as you can
without making eye contact.
364
00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:46,786
Not in a straight line,
throw some zigs and zags in there.
365
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:49,247
(SIGHS)
366
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:51,249
You know, this isn't that pressing.
367
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:53,834
Why don't I talk to him about it
in May, heh?
368
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:57,588
In May you're gonna be on
the International Space Station.
369
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,757
They got a phone.
30603
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