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1
00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:06,380
So, Bernadette, how goes the hunt
for bridesmaid dresses?
2
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:09,758
Well, if you don't mind looking
like an orange traffic cone, great.
3
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,762
Girlfriends, I have the answer
to our dress problems.
4
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,639
BERNADETTE: Really?
AMY: Twelve years ago...
5
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:17,933
...my cousin Irene
and her entire family died...
6
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:21,770
...in a horrific carbon-monoxide accident
the night before her wedding.
7
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:26,150
- That's horrible.
- Yes and no.
8
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:29,236
All those bridesmaids dresses
remain unused...
9
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,613
...and available to us for free.
10
00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:35,284
So it seems that cloud
of odorless, deadly gas...
11
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,161
...had a silver lining after all.
12
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:41,498
Check it out, still in the bags.
The gowns, not the bridesmaids.
13
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:47,087
I don't know. Dead people's dresses?
14
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:50,632
Yeah, and cap sleeves? Ehh...
15
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:53,469
Hmm. I was hoping
you wouldn't notice.
16
00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:56,638
Irene was a slave to a good bargain
when it came to clothes...
17
00:00:56,806 --> 00:01:00,184
...and, sadly, as it turned out,
space heaters.
18
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,852
Ladies, please.
19
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:06,440
These four walls
once housed an intellectual salon...
20
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,818
...where the mind received
nourishment as well as the stomach.
21
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:12,988
But through no one's fault, Penny...
22
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:18,160
...the quality of dinner conversation
in this apartment has declined.
23
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,955
And again, I'm looking at no one
in particular, Penny.
24
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:26,210
Fine. What would you like
to talk about, Sheldon?
25
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,545
Ugh. "What would you like to talk about,
Sheldon?"
26
00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:30,547
Why do you hate us?
27
00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,842
I've prepared a number of topics
that should appeal...
28
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:37,554
...to both the advanced
and novice conversationalists.
29
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:39,431
Okay, that time, you looked at me.
30
00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:45,145
Who didn't? Your skin is like alabaster.
Do you even have pores?
31
00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:50,359
Topic one:
"Faster-than-light particles at CERN:
32
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,194
Paradigm-shifting discovery...
33
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:56,073
...or another Swiss export
as full of holes as their cheese?"
34
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,158
And converse.
35
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:02,621
- Who wants to look at bridal magazines?
- Oh, me.
36
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,207
Through no one's fault, Sheldon,
we're leaving.
37
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:10,170
- Wait for moi.
- What? You're leaving?
38
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:13,757
Sheldon, sometimes you forget,
I'm a lady.
39
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,093
And with that
comes an estrogen-fueled need...
40
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:20,013
...to page through glossy magazines
that make me hate my body.
41
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,060
- Well.
- New topic:
42
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:29,565
"Women: Delightfully mysterious
or bat-crap crazy?"
43
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,234
Totally.
What's wrong with cap sleeves?
44
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,987
If you have the right figure for it,
they're adorable.
45
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:05,601
Hey, Amy, what brings you
to our neck of the woods?
46
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:08,562
Your Neurology Department
loaned me a culture of prions...
47
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:12,107
...for my research
on bovine spongiform encephalopathy.
48
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:18,071
She popped by
to borrow a cup of mad cow disease.
49
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:19,907
(CHUCKLES)
50
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:25,037
It's hard to make degenerative brain
maladies hilarious, yet somehow you do.
51
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,249
That's fun to have in a lunchroom.
52
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:32,252
The real fun starts
when you pick the rat to feed it to...
53
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:36,298
...and maybe you choose the beady-eyed
mother who's been biting you all week.
54
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:41,678
Please, we're eating. Can we get that
off the table and change the subject?
55
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:44,473
Can we? Stand back...
56
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:49,144
...while I turn this conversation
into a "conver-sensation."
57
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,104
This time, it's your fault.
58
00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:54,149
I have 100 alphabetized topics...
59
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,819
...from "Artichoke: Come on, people,
it's just a giant thistle"...
60
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:03,283
...to "Zzz:
The onomatopoetry of sleep."
61
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:08,163
Amy, how long would it take
for that mad cow disease to kill me?
62
00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:11,500
I don't know, four or five years.
63
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,835
No, that's not gonna do it.
64
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:22,594
Oi. Bernadette keeps texting me pictures
of Penny in bridesmaid dresses.
65
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:25,347
- They're out shopping right now?
- Yeah.
66
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,849
- Just the two of them?
- I guess.
67
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:31,687
That's cool, that's cool.
68
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,231
Why are they asking me about this?
69
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,526
What guy knows
what a sweetheart neckline is?
70
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:47,077
(PANTING)
71
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,707
Leonard's coming down
the home stretch.
72
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:57,379
Come on, horsey, you can do this.
73
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:02,634
Damn. Come on, thigh muscles,
you can do this.
74
00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:06,138
Yes! First place.
75
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:07,723
(GASPS)
76
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:11,018
I would have been a great jockey
if I weren't too tall.
77
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,187
And scared of horses.
78
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:15,397
Sheldon, you're up.
79
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,774
- What?
- Come on, it's your turn.
80
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,068
We said we'd get more fresh air.
81
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:25,449
Sorry. I'm a little distracted.
I can't seem to get in touch with Amy.
82
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:28,410
I tried e-mail, video chat,
tweeting her...
83
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,580
...posting on her Facebook Wall,
texting her, nothing.
84
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,416
Did you try calling her
on the telephone?
85
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,251
The telephone.
86
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,466
You know, Leonard,
in your own simple way...
87
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,093
...you may be the wisest of us all.
88
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,429
Voicemail.
89
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:51,266
Tsk. Curiouser and curiouser.
90
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,102
If you're worried,
we can go and see if she's all right.
91
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:56,813
Okay.
You know, I heard in the news...
92
00:05:56,981 --> 00:06:00,776
...a bobcat has been spotted
in her neighborhood.
93
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,653
I don't think Amy was eaten
by a bobcat.
94
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:06,281
Who thinks Amy was eaten
by a bobcat?
95
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,077
- You do?
- Leonard...
96
00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:12,954
...I was just mentioning
an interesting local news item.
97
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:16,917
Now, thanks to you, I'm worried
Amy's been eaten by a bobcat.
98
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,251
Forget about the bobcat.
99
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,796
SHELDON: How can I?
You won't stop talking about it.
100
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,799
(STRUMMING)
101
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:28,804
(SINGING)
Everybody hurts
102
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,972
Sometimes
103
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:34,643
Everybody cries
104
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:35,894
(WHIMPERING)
105
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:41,983
Everybody hurts
106
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,278
Sometimes.
107
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:48,323
She sounds weepy.
I don't like weepy. Let's go.
108
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:52,244
Hey. She's your friend. Step up.
109
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:57,541
Amy, Amy, Amy. Bye.
110
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:01,628
- Where are you going?
- I'm single. I don't need this crap.
111
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,340
Sheldon, what are you doing here?
112
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,468
You didn't respond
to any of my electronic communications.
113
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,053
I wanted to be alone.
114
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,016
Would you like to talk about it?
115
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:20,021
And keep in mind that "no"
is a perfectly viable answer.
116
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:23,316
Sheldon,
my world is crumbling around me.
117
00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:25,360
Point of order.
118
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,195
As you're in distress...
119
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:30,574
...it would be customary
for me to offer you a hot beverage.
120
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,660
But I'm a guest in your home...
121
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:37,164
...so it would be customary
for you to offer me a beverage.
122
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:42,252
How do you wanna proceed
vis-รก-vis beverages?
123
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:45,589
It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.
124
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:51,219
If you'd like to take your mind off
what's troubling you...
125
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:55,307
...uh, word on the street is
a bobcat has been spotted.
126
00:07:56,517 --> 00:08:00,061
Penny and Bernadette went shopping
for bridesmaids dresses without me.
127
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:05,734
And that made you feel sad?
128
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,904
- Yes.
- I knew it.
129
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,949
Just keep going.
I guess I'm good at this.
130
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,204
It's just, I thought they liked
hanging out with me...
131
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:19,581
...but I guess I was fooling myself.
132
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,250
When they were over here...
133
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:25,962
...did you fail to offer them
a beverage?
134
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:31,051
Because I can see how that could stick
in someone's craw.
135
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:36,306
Sheldon, I'm gonna ask you something,
and I'd like you to keep an open mind.
136
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,599
Always.
137
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:41,645
At this moment,
I find myself craving human intimacy...
138
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:43,104
...and physical contact.
139
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:44,773
Oh, boy.
140
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:52,239
You know ours is a relationship
of the mind.
141
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:56,409
Proposal:
One wild night of torrid lovemaking...
142
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:59,871
...that soothes my soul
and inflames my loins.
143
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,294
Counterproposal:
144
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:09,798
I will gently stroke your head...
145
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:13,468
...and repeat, "Aw, who's a good Amy?"
146
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:18,598
How about this?
147
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:19,975
French-kissing...
148
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:24,271
...Seven Minutes in Heaven,
culminating in second base.
149
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,443
Neck massage...
150
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:35,031
...then you get me that beverage.
151
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,998
We cuddle. Final offer.
152
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,710
Very well.
153
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,801
Oh, boy.
154
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:20,160
I'm just saying,
second base is right there.
155
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:29,669
Mm. I'm thinking about adopting
some quirky affectation...
156
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:34,674
...like a pipe or a monocle
or a handlebar mustache.
157
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:40,221
For all those girls out there
looking for the Indian Monopoly man?
158
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:47,228
This is not a safe place.
You can't share anything here.
159
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:53,193
The two of you
need to get your women in line.
160
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,739
- What?
- Last night I was strong-armed...
161
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:01,868
...into an evening of harp music
and spooning with an emotional Amy.
162
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:04,454
This on a night
that I had originally designated...
163
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,540
...for solving space-time geometry
in higher-spin gravity...
164
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,584
...and building my Lego Death Star.
165
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:12,295
And why?
166
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,464
Your gal pals, Penny and Bernadette...
167
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,592
...went out shopping for
some wedding nonsense without Amy...
168
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,096
...an action they took with no thought
as to how it would affect me...
169
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:24,557
...the future of string theory
or my Lego fun time.
170
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:27,936
What do you want us to do about it?
171
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,146
You weren't listening
to my topic sentence.
172
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:31,940
Get your women in line.
173
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,735
Make them apologize to Amy
and set things right.
174
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:38,655
I am a man of science,
not someone's snuggle bunny.
175
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:42,659
Why do I have to talk to Penny?
She's not my girlfriend.
176
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,744
You invited her to lunch
four years ago.
177
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:47,789
Everything about her is on you.
You make it so.
178
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,127
- Moo Shu is Penny.
- Thank you.
179
00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:54,754
- Where's Sheldon?
- Oh, he was up late last night...
180
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:58,091
...so I gave him an early dinner
and put him to bed.
181
00:11:58,634 --> 00:11:59,676
That's so sweet.
182
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,846
Yeah, but now he's gonna be up
at dawn and wanna play.
183
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,808
So listen, guys,
the reason he was up late...
184
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,144
...is because he was taking care
of Amy.
185
00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:11,980
- She's kind of upset.
- Why?
186
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:15,525
Her feelings got hurt because
you went dress shopping without her.
187
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:17,152
I told you that would happen.
188
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:21,489
This is her first time being a bridesmaid,
and she's getting a little crazy with it.
189
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:25,660
She keeps on telling us stories about
bridesmaid traditions in other cultures...
190
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:29,372
...and they're all about getting naked
and washing each other.
191
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,883
She keeps trying to figure out
if our cycles have synced up...
192
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,094
...so we can call ourselves
"The Three Menstra-teers."
193
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,349
We thought it would be easier
to look at dresses one time without her.
194
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:51,561
- I feel terrible.
- I know, me too. We'll talk to her.
195
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,354
Hey, wait, how did she find out?
196
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,733
Raj did it. Ugh.
197
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:02,197
And he says he would do it again.
198
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:06,409
Okay, I'm sorry.
199
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,870
You sent me the picture.
I wasn't thinking.
200
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,915
- Oh, Howie.
- I'm usually pretty good at not blabbing.
201
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:16,377
You tell me tons of stuff
about these guys, and I never repeat it.
202
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,758
- What do you tell him?
- Oh, you know, just pillow talk.
203
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,385
You guys have nothing to worry about.
204
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,930
Did you talk about us
when we were dating?
205
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,933
No. All your little secrets are fine.
206
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,523
Yes, absolutely fine.
207
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,735
Ha-ha-ha. I'll tell you later.
208
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,950
AMY:
Come on, tumor.
209
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,201
Come on, tumor.
210
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:52,038
Mama needs
an aggressive little glioblastoma.
211
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,542
Yay, brain tumor.
212
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:59,462
Probably not the same reaction you had
when you got the news.
213
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:01,756
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
214
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,591
- Hi.
- Hello.
215
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,218
What are you doing here?
216
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,303
Well, uh, we just wanted to apologize...
217
00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:09,639
...for not bringing you with us
the other day.
218
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,433
That's not necessary.
It's like Sesame Street says:
219
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,727
"One of these things
is not like the others.
220
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:17,313
One of these things should die alone."
221
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:20,567
No, come on, Amy,
let us make it up to you.
222
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,278
We'll have a girls' night.
We'll do whatever you want.
223
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:26,114
We can go down to the Korean baths
and do that thing...
224
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,449
...where we wash each other.
225
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,787
With loofah mitts, no hands.
226
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,124
It's okay. I'm glad this happened.
227
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,626
I can stop pretending
that some beautiful girl...
228
00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:42,213
...and her cute-in-the-right-light friend
wanna hang out with me.
229
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,092
- Amy, we're really sorry.
- Yeah, we feel awful.
230
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,468
Don't. I'll be okay.
231
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:51,264
You're not the first girls I thought
were friends who ended up shunning me.
232
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:55,268
It's like elementary school, junior high,
high school, undergrad, grad school...
233
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:58,104
...and that semester abroad in Norway
all over again.
234
00:14:58,272 --> 00:14:59,439
Oh, come on, Amy.
235
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,817
You don't get it.
236
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,027
Look at this brain.
237
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,946
I don't really want to.
238
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:09,157
This is us.
239
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:12,827
Bernadette, you are the analytical,
scientific left hemisphere.
240
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,997
Penny, you're the creative,
spontaneous right hemisphere.
241
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,041
And where's Amy?
242
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:19,876
She's right here.
243
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:23,296
The sad little tumor
no one wants to go dress shopping with.
244
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:30,011
Amy, you're not a tumor.
Penny, tell her she's not a tumor.
245
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:31,763
(RETCHING)
246
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,229
(PHONE RINGING)
247
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:43,358
Did you know
that when Alexander Graham Bell...
248
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:48,905
...invented the telephone,
he proposed answering it with "ahoy"?
249
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,532
Ahoy.
250
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,036
I like it.
251
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,706
Amy? Is that you?
252
00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:01,000
Have you been drinking?
253
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:04,212
I'm sorry, I bet my sweet what?
254
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,423
Well, all right. We're on our way.
255
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:09,425
What's going on?
256
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:13,888
Well, it would seem Amy is drunk
in a liquor-store parking lot.
257
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,390
Really? Amy?
258
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:18,393
Leonard, be glad you can't keep a woman.
They are a handful.
259
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:31,197
Oh, look. It's Sheldon and little Leonard.
Hi, little Leonard.
260
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,951
- Hi, Amy.
- Hey, Cuddles.
261
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,245
Cuddles?
262
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:40,248
Yes, Cuddles. We cuddled.
Grow up, Leonard.
263
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,419
Amy, what are you doing here?
264
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,754
Well, I came here
to get a bottle of wine...
265
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:50,133
...like Penny taught me to do
when you're sad.
266
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,886
Yeah, but why didn't you go back
to your apartment?
267
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:58,391
Didn't you go to high school?
Parking lots are where cool kids hang out.
268
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:01,894
Not that the rat bastards
ever invited me.
269
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:05,398
- Maybe we should get you home.
- Hang on, hang on, hang on. Sheldon...
270
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:09,235
...what would it take
for you to go into that liquor store...
271
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:13,114
...buy a bottle of hooch, take me
across the street to that motel...
272
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,450
...and have your way with me?
273
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,663
Yeah, Sheldon, what would it take?
274
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,419
I'm begging both of you,
please, let's go.
275
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:30,256
Okay. Come on. Upsy-daisy.
276
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:33,468
Whee. Ooh!
Finally, someone found second base.
277
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:40,933
I know how you feel.
278
00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:44,479
I got a knife
slicing through my frontal lobe too.
279
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,147
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
280
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:47,899
Hi.
281
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:49,525
What do you want?
282
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:52,195
Do you want me
to give the friendship bracelet back?
283
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,822
I never gave you a friendship bracelet.
284
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:58,659
When we met, I made one
and pretended you gave it to me.
285
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,536
You can have it back if you want.
286
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:05,041
No, you made that for you.
I want you to have it.
287
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:09,337
We know you're upset,
and you have every right to be...
288
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,215
...but we'd like a second chance
to make things right.
289
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:13,841
We are really sorry.
290
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:17,970
We were trying to think of some way to
show you how much we care about you.
291
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,181
Which is why
it would mean so much...
292
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:23,559
...if you would agree
to be the maid of honor at my wedding.
293
00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:24,852
What?
294
00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:27,021
Wait, is this some kind
of practical joke?
295
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:31,567
Like in Norway when my "friends"
trapped me in a sauna with a horny otter?
296
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:38,324
No. I... l want you
to be the maid of honor.
297
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:39,951
Oh, my gosh.
298
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,703
No one's ever asked me
to be the maid of honor.
299
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:46,499
Well, that's not true.
Once, but then they all died.
300
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:53,047
- So is that a yes?
- Yes, heh. Yes.
301
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,007
Oh, my gosh, I...
I have so much to do.
302
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,718
There's the bridal shower
and the bachelorette party.
303
00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:00,388
What should we do for the bachelorette?
Oh, I know.
304
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:03,850
Go to a Native American sweat lodge,
take peyote, roll in mud...
305
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:06,269
...and paint symbols
on Bernadette's naked body.
306
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:07,895
So that's happening.
307
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:12,692
Yeah, sure, sure. Vegas is fun too. Heh.
308
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,403
I feel like crying.
Of course, I could be hormonal.
309
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:18,281
Oh, wait.
Maybe our menses are finally syncing up.
310
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:20,783
- Bernadette? No? Penny?
- Sorry.
311
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,577
- Really?
- Okay, yeah.
312
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,745
Yay!
313
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,086
Maid of honor Amy Farrah Fowler's...
314
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,422
...amazing behind-the-scenes
wedding video...
315
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,299
...take one.
316
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:41,596
We're just trying on dresses.
Do we really need to record this?
317
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:44,098
I'm sorry, are you the maid of honor?
318
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,393
I am the bride.
319
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,937
So no. And action.
320
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:54,025
- What do you think?
- I love it.
321
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,234
(PENNY CHUCKLES)
322
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:56,444
AMY:
What are you, a nun?
323
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,821
Come on, bestie,
let's see some skin.
324
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:03,451
BERNADETTE:
Oh, Amy, looking sexy.
325
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:06,787
You think they don't have mirrors
in there? I know how I look.
326
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:13,794
PENNY:
Oh.
327
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,839
Bernadette, you look beautiful.
328
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,133
AMY: You do.
- Thank you.
329
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:22,178
Not Penny beautiful, but beautiful.
330
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:25,932
AMY:
Come on, bestie, you're up.
331
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,266
PENNY:
Give me a minute.
332
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:30,228
AMY:
What is taking you so long?
333
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,146
Oh, Amy, get the hell out of here.
334
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,607
AMY:
Sorry, sorry. Oh, God.
335
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:35,942
- Amy!
AMY: Sorry!
27568
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