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1
00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:06,588
SHELDON: The entrance to the dungeon
is a moss-covered door.
2
00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:09,967
You manage to open it
only to find yourself face-to-face...
3
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:13,762
...with a hideous,
foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre.
4
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,681
What do you do?
5
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,308
I say, "Hey, Ma, what's for dinner?"
6
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,313
Seventeen.
7
00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:26,775
The ogre is amused by your joke
and allows you to pass.
8
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,612
By the by, I liked it too.
9
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,116
How go the wedding plans, Howard?
10
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:38,162
Great. Spent five hours last night
at Macy's registering for gifts.
11
00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:42,207
I'm finally gonna have that earthenware
asparagus dish I've always wanted, heh.
12
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:46,503
See, this is the good thing about
having a girlfriend 9000 miles away.
13
00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:49,048
I can spend my nights
doing whatever I want.
14
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,924
Like playing nerd games with us...
15
00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:54,219
...and then taking
a suspiciously long shower?
16
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,515
Maybe.
17
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,561
We enter the dungeon.
18
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,730
You see a dragon.
19
00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,524
Really?
So we're playing Dungeons and Dragons.
20
00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,818
And we walk into a dungeon
and see a dragon?
21
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:15,324
- Isn't that a little on the nose?
- When you play Chutes and Ladders...
22
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,160
...do you complain about all the chutes
and the ladders?
23
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,581
Are you gonna eat that whole pie?
24
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,167
Maybe. Why not?
25
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,753
Who do I have in my life
to watch my figure for?
26
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,173
Oh, God,
did you watch Bridget Jones again?
27
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,968
No, it's just that
everybody's got someone.
28
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,471
Sheldon's with Amy,
Howard's getting married...
29
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,307
- ...you're dating my sister.
- Now that Howard's getting married...
30
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,268
...maybe he'll inflate
one of his old girlfriends for you, heh.
31
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,271
You know who I blame
for my loneliness?
32
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:47,856
The United States of America.
33
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,817
Your movies and your TV shows...
34
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:54,071
...promised streets paved with beautiful
blonde women with big bazongas.
35
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,699
Eat another pie,
you'll have your own bazongas.
36
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,537
That's cruel.
You know it goes straight to my hips.
37
00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:04,081
Gentlemen, please focus.
38
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:08,460
- You're facing a fire-breathing dragon.
- Unh, I don't know if I wanna play anymore.
39
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:12,172
Because you don't have a girlfriend?
If that becomes a reason...
40
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,717
...not to play Dungeons and Dragons,
this game's in serious trouble.
41
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:45,038
Now, I assume we use this same wax
later on...
42
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,916
...to neaten up
each other's bikini regions.
43
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,044
Yeah, my bikini region is fine.
44
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,255
Who's shocked? I'm not.
45
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:56,216
(GIGGLES)
46
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:58,760
So, Bernadette,
how's the wedding planning going?
47
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,263
And I'm not asking
as a prospective bridesmaid.
48
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,307
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Pick me. Pick me.
49
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,978
We went cake tasting yesterday.
50
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,563
Raj came along.
51
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,900
He cried and ate half the samples.
52
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:16,945
Oh, poor guy. He's so lonely.
We should set him up with someone.
53
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:20,199
You know,
I met a really cute girl at work.
54
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:23,202
She's married to a guy
in one of our drug trials.
55
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,497
Well, hello? She's married, heh.
56
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:31,793
Yeah, but her husband
is in serious congestive heart failure...
57
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:36,298
...and a little birdie told me
he's in the placebo group.
58
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:41,970
Okay, so future grief-stricken widow
is the one to beat.
59
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,267
- You ready to order?
- One moment.
60
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,186
I'm conducting an experiment.
61
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,981
With Dungeons and Dragons dice?
62
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,776
Yes. From here on in...
63
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:59,488
...I've decided to make all trivial
decisions with a throw of the dice.
64
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,032
Thus freeing up my mind
to do what it does best...
65
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,576
...enlighten and amaze.
66
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:10,082
Page 14, item seven.
67
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,167
So, what's for dinner?
68
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,878
A side of corn succotash.
69
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,298
Hmm, interesting.
70
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,509
Um, Howard,
can I see you for a minute, please?
71
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:25,764
Ugh, I don't wanna show any more of your
friends how I can fit in the booster seats.
72
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,017
Uh, no, that's not it.
Just come with me, please?
73
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:34,815
Let's see what I'll be washing
that succotash down with.
74
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,444
A pitcher of margaritas.
75
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,698
Do you really want that?
76
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,075
That's the great thing.
It doesn't matter.
77
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:49,162
My mind is freed up
to think about more important things.
78
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:50,956
What's it thinking about now?
79
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,250
Hamburgers and lemonade.
80
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:58,046
Um, Raj, there's someone
I want you to meet.
81
00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:01,466
This is my friend, Emily.
I know her from spin class.
82
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:06,305
No. Raj, relax.
She can't hear you. She's deaf.
83
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:11,393
Emily, this is our friend Raj.
84
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,854
- Heh.
- Aw.
85
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:19,318
Look at you guys, just hitting it off.
I am so good.
86
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,408
Hi.
87
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,370
She says, "it's nice to meet you."
88
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,874
Did she really mean that
or was she signing it sarcastically?
89
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,003
Raj says, "It's nice to meet you too." Heh.
90
00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:41,506
Uh, she says she has to go back
to her family.
91
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,469
But Penny has her number
if you wanna text her and get together.
92
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,804
Okay, I'm gonna play it cool.
93
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:51,433
Tell her, "Maybe. Whatever, babe."
94
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:56,521
He'll text you, heh.
95
00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:01,360
Huh. Look at that. I have a date.
96
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:02,736
I love America again.
97
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,075
And now for dessert.
98
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:11,703
Come on, hot fudge sundae.
Come on, hot fudge sundae.
99
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,414
Bam! That's what I'm talking about.
100
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,337
Okay. As soon as she gets here,
so she knows I'm cool with it...
101
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,464
...I'm going to make a joke
about her being deaf.
102
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:23,840
(GROANS)
103
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:29,054
I was thinking,
"Hey, did you hear the one about...?
104
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,931
Oh, no, I bet you didn't."
105
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:37,354
Maybe we should revisit
your lonely, fat guy plan, heh.
106
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,231
Oh, she's here.
107
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,235
No joke.
108
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,950
- She's sorry she's late.
- Oh, tell her it doesn't matter.
109
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:52,994
Tell her her eyes shimmer
like opalescent lilies...
110
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:57,040
...in the lake of the palace
of the celestial maidens.
111
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,920
Really?
That's the first thing you wanna say?
112
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:05,715
- I worked on it all night. Use it.
- I don't know the sign for "opalescent."
113
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:08,218
- Then spell it.
- I don't know how to spell it.
114
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:09,803
You're blowing this for me.
115
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,682
He likes your eyes, heh.
116
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,976
You're making me sound
like a caveman.
117
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,438
"Thank you, you have nice eyes too."
118
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:22,232
Really?
Ask her how many children she wants...
119
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,193
...and whatever number she says,
say, "Me too."
120
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:29,781
No.
121
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:34,703
Fine. Tell her I have a deep, sexy voice
like James Earl Jones.
122
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:38,540
She doesn't know
what James Earl Jones sounds like.
123
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:41,626
Great. Then she won't know I'm lying.
124
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:48,675
Let's see, what else can I tell you
about me that would make you like me?
125
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,302
Uh...
126
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,596
Oh, I love music.
127
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,724
Do you love music?
128
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,061
You really wanna ask her that?
129
00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:02,647
Oh. You're right.
Heh, everyone loves music.
130
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:07,402
She says,
"Do you play an instrument?"
131
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:10,113
No, but when I was 6 years old...
132
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:14,993
...I tried to start a boy band
called Frankie Goes to Bollywood.
133
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:20,540
But I couldn't get any other boys
to join...
134
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,419
...so my parents asked the servants
to be my backup dancers.
135
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,589
Wait, when you sign servants,
don't sign it like I'm bragging.
136
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,634
Sign it in a way that I sound humble,
with just a hint of:
137
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:33,303
"That's right, I had servants."
138
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,225
- Do you hear yourself?
- Yes, but she doesn't.
139
00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,769
So get signing, hand monkey.
140
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:48,985
I think I wrote a letter to Santa Claus
every day.
141
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:50,695
And then on Christmas morning...
142
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:54,616
...under the tree is a little puppy
with a red ribbon.
143
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,952
(RAJ CHUCKLES)
144
00:08:57,828 --> 00:09:00,914
- What are you doing?
- Texting Bernadette I'm gonna be late.
145
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:04,084
- Dude, what is she saying?
- It's a funny story about a puppy.
146
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:05,585
Just smile and laugh.
147
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:07,128
(LAUGHS)
148
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,257
- Quick, stop smiling.
- What? Why?
149
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:13,843
The puppy died. It choked
on a doll head. Sad face, sad face.
150
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,349
It's a little hard to see
with the city lights...
151
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,561
...but that W-shaped constellation
is Cassiopeia.
152
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:25,939
And she was the mother of Andromeda,
who's over there.
153
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,193
Look, pretty stars.
154
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:35,323
This is her car, heh.
155
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,034
She hopes she can see you again
sometime.
156
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:39,744
Good, good. Uh...
157
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:44,207
Oh, boy, uh, help me out here.
Does she want me to kiss her or not?
158
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,793
I speak sign language,
I don't read minds.
159
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:50,338
- If you were me, would you kiss her?
- Yeah, but I'm the make-out king.
160
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,059
I was so smooth on that date.
161
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:04,269
(ENGINE STARTS)
162
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,855
You? I made you smooth.
You were an idiot.
163
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,481
Whatever, dude. She kissed me.
164
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,651
Yeah, well, it might have been
on your lips but it was my kiss.
165
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,571
Fine. Let's agree she kissed
both of us.
166
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,490
Okay.
167
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:23,413
Mustache is looking good there,
Sheldon.
168
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:29,169
Don't thank me. Thank the dice.
169
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:32,297
They told me
what percentage of my face to shave.
170
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,299
Why are you still doing this?
171
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,634
Because it's working.
172
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:39,054
In the past few weeks,
unburdened by trivial decisions...
173
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:42,515
...I've co-authored two papers
in notable peer-reviewed journals...
174
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,935
...and I'm close to figuring out
why the Large Hadron Collider...
175
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:48,647
...has yet to isolate
the Higgs boson particle.
176
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:53,401
You left out, got chafed testicles
because you no longer wear underpants.
177
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,282
The dice giveth
and the dice taketh away.
178
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:05,080
- Is Raj out with Emily again?
- Yeah. Every night for the last month.
179
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,998
Wow. I can't believe he has a girlfriend.
180
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,418
Me neither.
181
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:14,756
Here's some other fun news
on the Raj-Emily front.
182
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:18,218
He gave her a pair of diamond earrings
and leased her a car.
183
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:19,844
You're kidding.
184
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,514
- Think she's taking advantage of him?
- Oh, of course not.
185
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,101
She wouldn't do something like that.
She's deaf.
186
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,231
Deaf women can't be gold diggers?
187
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,443
Handicapped people are nice, Leonard.
Everyone knows that.
188
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:41,574
I actually have information about Raj that
would be helpful with this discussion.
189
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,456
Could you tell us?
190
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,959
Let's see.
191
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,546
Snake eyes. Sorry, bud.
192
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,466
Wait. Hang on. Doubles. Roll again.
193
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,305
Okay, get this.
194
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,475
It doesn't matter
if he's showering her with gifts...
195
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,520
...because the Koothrappalis
are vastly wealthy.
196
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:15,400
- What do you mean "vastly wealthy"?
- Well, "wealthy" means a lot of money.
197
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,611
"Vastly" means even more.
I'm not sure what's tripping you up.
198
00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:21,948
I know they have money.
I don't think it's that much.
199
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,826
No, you're wrong.
As you know, a few years ago...
200
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:28,580
...I achieved one of my lesser dreams
and became a notary public.
201
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:33,460
Well, from time to time,
I notarize banking documents for Raj.
202
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:38,047
The Koothrappalis aren't just rich,
they're Richie Rich rich.
203
00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:41,384
Well, so how much is that?
204
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:45,013
About halfway between Bruce Wayne
and Scrooge McDuck.
205
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,224
The last time we went to the zoo...
206
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:51,269
...that son of a bitch
made me buy him a churro.
207
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:55,482
I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude
but I need to go call Raj's sister...
208
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,650
...who I love so much.
209
00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:01,446
Ahem, so vastly much.
210
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:07,994
Okay, so he's got money,
and it's a few gifts, and a car.
211
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,747
And she got him
to pay off all her credit cards.
212
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,500
What? He paid off her credit cards?
213
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,377
Damn it, I could have dated Raj
for a couple months.
214
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:22,258
But I wouldn't have because I'm not that
kind of girl. We should really talk to Raj.
215
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:25,053
He's not gonna listen, he's in love.
216
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,640
Can't figure out what to do?
I remember those days.
217
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:32,268
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to...
218
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,979
...stay right here.
219
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:38,733
(DANCE MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
220
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,401
- This is a bad idea. We should go.
- No.
221
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:43,363
I'm the one that introduced him to her.
I've gotta say something.
222
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,409
Wow.
223
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,997
- You're engaged to my friend.
- Hey, Bernadette doesn't mind...
224
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:57,126
...where I get my motor running,
as long as I park in the right garage.
225
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,965
I can't believe you're engaged
to my friend.
226
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,760
(WHISPERS)
Oh, here she comes.
227
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:09,138
Smart. Whisper,
so the deaf chick can't hear you.
228
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:16,437
- (IN NORMAL VOICE) Hi.
- Oh, hey. Hi. Nice to see you.
229
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:19,858
Um, can we talk to you about Raj?
230
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,443
She says, "Sure, what about him?"
231
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,988
Okay. Um, gosh, how do I start?
232
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:29,033
Um, see, Raj is kind of naive.
233
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,160
He hasn't dated
a whole lot of women.
234
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:34,581
And I'm concerned that,
without meaning to...
235
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,875
...you might be taking advantage
of him.
236
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,502
By letting him buy you
a bunch of expensive things.
237
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,797
I... Howard, focus.
238
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,757
- Tell her what I'm saying.
- Right.
239
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,384
Are you a gold digger or not?
240
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:52,390
Oh, something, something. Who
the something do you think you are?
241
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:56,185
Mind your own something business
and go something yourself.
242
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:00,023
Oh, ha, ha, wait, I got this now.
243
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,528
- I'm so mad at you.
- Okay, wait.
244
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,947
How dare you ambush my girlfriend
at the gym?
245
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,908
We didn't mean for it
to be an ambush.
246
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:13,453
It's kind of impossible not to sneak up
on deaf people.
247
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:17,123
And, hey,
since when are you so chatty?
248
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,834
- I'm hammered.
- Raj, come here.
249
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,837
This girl is trouble.
250
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:26,966
What kind of relationship is it where
you buy her gifts and she gives you sex?
251
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,677
The best one I've ever had.
252
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,681
Okay, come on,
you know you can do better.
253
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,059
Aha!
254
00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:37,852
I see what's going on here.
255
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:40,980
You and I had our crazy night
together.
256
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,691
And now you can't stand to see me
with another woman.
257
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,068
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
258
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,111
It's okay,
I can't get mad at your feelings.
259
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,446
I don't have feelings.
260
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,491
Yeah, that's good.
Keep telling yourself that.
261
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,201
(DOOR CLOSES)
262
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,329
He is cuter now that I know he's rich.
263
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:03,211
I have a surprise for you.
Cover your eyes.
264
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:08,633
Open them.
265
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:19,268
It's a real ruby.
266
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:25,984
It was a little expensive,
but no one can put a price on love.
267
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:29,237
Although the people at Cartier
took a pretty good shot at it.
268
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,949
(COMPUTER BEEPING)
269
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,705
Oh, Mummy, Daddy,
what a nice surprise.
270
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:42,166
No, it's not a nice surprise,
it's a bad surprise.
271
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:44,836
- Penny called us.
- Penny?
272
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:48,840
She told us you're spending all our money
on your new girlfriend.
273
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,467
I just got her a couple of things.
274
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:52,927
She gives me things too.
275
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:57,390
Yeah, yeah. I'm a gynecologist.
I know exactly what she gives you.
276
00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:01,978
You need to find a nice Indian girl
from a good family.
277
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,313
If you keep seeing this woman,
you're cut off.
278
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:07,191
What? You're gonna make me choose
between the woman I love...
279
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:11,070
...and the money
I have very strong feelings for?
280
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,156
It's up to you.
281
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,786
- Well, I choose love.
- Heh, you're an idiot.
282
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,374
Love doesn't last.
283
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:32,008
Well, he's going to find out eventually.
284
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:34,302
Think about it.
285
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:43,394
My, uh, parents are making me choose
between money and you.
286
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:46,564
I choose you.
287
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,819
No. I think we'll have to return
the car.
288
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,448
And the necklace. Yeah, that too.
289
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:59,368
But none of those things matter
because we have something better.
290
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,205
We have love.
291
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:15,426
- Oh, Penny, I hurt so bad.
- Uh...
292
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,261
I know. I know.
293
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:22,100
Sometimes I put the TV on mute
just to pretend she's still with me.
294
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:30,525
But I can't watch the closed-captioning
without crying.
295
00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:32,777
(SOBBING)
296
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,404
Oh, I'm so sorry.
297
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,740
I wish I can make you feel better.
298
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,367
Seriously?
299
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,619
I'm heartbroken
and you're hitting on me?
300
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,371
What? No.
301
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:47,875
Look, Penny, you're great,
but I had a long talk with my parents.
302
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:51,671
And they said if I date an Indian girl,
I get a Maserati.
303
00:18:56,635 --> 00:19:00,138
Mm, oh, cheesecake,
you're just as good as a woman...
304
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,890
...even though I can't have sex
with you.
305
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:07,145
Try throwing it in the microwave
for a few seconds.
306
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:14,277
Should I use the restroom
or wait until we get home?
307
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:17,280
Come on,
Papa needs to void his bladder.
308
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:21,033
Oh, that's not what you wanna see
after three buttermilks.
309
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,537
Here you go, boys.
I'll pick it up when you're ready.
310
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,748
- Thanks for dinner, buddy.
- Yeah, real big of you.
311
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,834
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
312
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:33,462
Oh, don't cheap out on the tip.
We all know you're loaded now.
25760
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