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1
00:00:04,951 --> 00:00:07,476
- Morning.
- Morning.
2
00:00:07,654 --> 00:00:08,678
(LEONARD SIGHS)
3
00:00:08,855 --> 00:00:10,686
- Sleep okay?
- Mm-hm, great.
4
00:00:13,092 --> 00:00:15,925
- Hey, can I ask you something?
- Sure.
5
00:00:16,095 --> 00:00:19,223
Last night, me wanting to try
that stuff out of the Kama Sutra...
6
00:00:19,399 --> 00:00:22,857
...was that fun for you or kind of
racially insensitive?
7
00:00:23,036 --> 00:00:25,402
Yeah, just because you're in bed
with an Indian woman...
8
00:00:25,572 --> 00:00:28,405
...you think that gives you permission
to use crazy positions...
9
00:00:28,575 --> 00:00:30,805
...from an ancient Indian
love manual?
10
00:00:30,977 --> 00:00:33,775
If you can find a book called
Weird Sex With White Boys...
11
00:00:33,947 --> 00:00:35,539
...l'd be okay with that.
12
00:00:35,715 --> 00:00:36,977
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
13
00:00:37,550 --> 00:00:40,713
Oh, you have such beautiful eyes.
14
00:00:40,887 --> 00:00:42,411
Ever thought about getting contacts?
15
00:00:42,589 --> 00:00:45,456
I tried in seventh grade.
I could never get used to them.
16
00:00:45,625 --> 00:00:46,649
Oh, that's too bad.
17
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:50,455
Yeah. If I had contacts, I would have been
the coolest debate club president...
18
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:53,656
...ever to be stuffed
into his own cello case.
19
00:00:54,767 --> 00:00:59,966
If you had them on now, you could see
what we're going to do next.
20
00:01:01,508 --> 00:01:05,171
That's okay, I can infer from context.
21
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,178
Raj, wanna see a new magic trick
I've been working on?
22
00:01:09,382 --> 00:01:13,250
Howard, if I may interject here
with a piece of friendly advice.
23
00:01:13,419 --> 00:01:17,617
Is working on magic tricks
really how you wanna spend your time?
24
00:01:17,790 --> 00:01:20,953
Granted, you're just an engineer...
25
00:01:22,195 --> 00:01:25,289
...but that doesn't mean you might not
someday build a geegaw...
26
00:01:25,465 --> 00:01:28,332
...or a thingamabob
that may get you a thank you...
27
00:01:28,501 --> 00:01:32,335
...in someone else's Nobel Prize
acceptance speech.
28
00:01:36,242 --> 00:01:38,802
Is the trick making him disappear?
29
00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:42,241
Sure, let's see it.
30
00:01:43,116 --> 00:01:44,743
Here, shuffle these.
31
00:01:44,918 --> 00:01:46,715
Okay.
32
00:01:47,153 --> 00:01:49,212
Now spread them out on
the table face down.
33
00:01:49,756 --> 00:01:52,224
- Pick one, look at it.
- Okay.
34
00:01:52,392 --> 00:01:54,121
Remember your card, put it back.
35
00:01:54,294 --> 00:01:57,388
Is it any wonder
he doesn't have a doctorate?
36
00:01:58,464 --> 00:02:01,831
- Remind me, what's your birthday?
- October 6th.
37
00:02:02,035 --> 00:02:04,663
Okay, October is the tenth month.
38
00:02:04,837 --> 00:02:09,297
So ten, one plus zero is one,
plus six is seven.
39
00:02:09,475 --> 00:02:11,602
Turn over the seventh card.
40
00:02:14,514 --> 00:02:15,538
How about that.
41
00:02:15,715 --> 00:02:18,081
- Is that your card?
- Yes, it is. Very cool.
42
00:02:18,251 --> 00:02:19,445
(CHUCKLES)
43
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:21,744
It's not cool.
44
00:02:21,955 --> 00:02:27,450
It's a childish trick designed to confuse
and intrigue simpletons.
45
00:02:27,627 --> 00:02:29,527
How'd you do it?
46
00:02:29,696 --> 00:02:31,823
A magician never reveals his secrets.
47
00:02:31,998 --> 00:02:35,058
But surely a future Nobel Prize winner
can figure it out.
48
00:02:37,170 --> 00:02:40,037
Fine. Give me a second.
49
00:02:40,306 --> 00:02:42,206
(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE)
50
00:02:42,976 --> 00:02:46,673
You ever notice when he thinks
real hard, it smells like bacon?
51
00:02:50,550 --> 00:02:52,347
MAN: Oh, hey.
- Sorry. Sorry.
52
00:02:52,518 --> 00:02:53,712
(WOMAN SHRIEKS)
53
00:02:53,886 --> 00:02:55,114
Oh, I'm so sorry.
54
00:02:55,288 --> 00:02:57,848
Oh, that was my fault.
55
00:02:59,726 --> 00:03:02,524
Check it out. I just got contacts.
56
00:03:31,491 --> 00:03:36,622
One, two, three, four, five. No way.
57
00:03:36,796 --> 00:03:40,493
- That's your card, right?
- Seven of clubs. That is amazing.
58
00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:41,691
(PENNY CHUCKLES)
59
00:03:41,868 --> 00:03:43,631
It's not amazing.
60
00:03:45,705 --> 00:03:47,832
All magic tricks
are merely a combination...
61
00:03:48,007 --> 00:03:50,032
...of manipulation and misdirection...
62
00:03:50,209 --> 00:03:53,610
...with the occasional
dwarf in a box wiggling his feet.
63
00:03:54,947 --> 00:03:56,778
Oh, really? So how did I do it?
64
00:03:56,949 --> 00:03:59,349
Well, I don't care how you did it.
65
00:03:59,519 --> 00:04:02,716
I have more important things
to think about.
66
00:04:06,225 --> 00:04:08,693
Clearly, the cards are marked.
67
00:04:09,195 --> 00:04:11,459
I thought you had more important
things to think about.
68
00:04:11,631 --> 00:04:14,862
I do. You just happened
to have caught me on a break.
69
00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:19,734
Oh, let me see those cards.
70
00:04:20,506 --> 00:04:22,804
Big deal.
Not knowing is part of the fun.
71
00:04:22,975 --> 00:04:26,809
"Not knowing's part of the fun." Was that
the motto of your community college?
72
00:04:29,115 --> 00:04:30,742
Hey, you guys, what do you think?
73
00:04:30,917 --> 00:04:32,475
Priya took me clothes shopping.
74
00:04:32,652 --> 00:04:34,517
You look great.
Good for you, Priya.
75
00:04:34,687 --> 00:04:37,383
I could never get that stupid hoodie
off him when we were...
76
00:04:37,557 --> 00:04:38,888
Well, you look great.
77
00:04:40,026 --> 00:04:41,891
- Thank you.
- Let's go hang everything up.
78
00:04:42,061 --> 00:04:43,722
LEONARD:
Yeah, good.
79
00:04:45,898 --> 00:04:49,390
New contacts.
I should have done this years ago.
80
00:04:51,871 --> 00:04:54,567
Finally getting used to them
doing it on a daily basis?
81
00:04:54,741 --> 00:04:57,175
I'm not going out with him.
He can sleep with who he wants.
82
00:04:57,343 --> 00:04:59,709
Yeah, I was talking to Raj.
83
00:05:04,784 --> 00:05:06,513
Oopsie.
84
00:05:06,686 --> 00:05:08,415
This deck is rigged in some fashion.
85
00:05:08,588 --> 00:05:11,955
- Get another deck, I'll do the trick.
- You're saying this is a regulation deck?
86
00:05:12,158 --> 00:05:14,592
I'm saying believe in magic,
you muggle.
87
00:05:18,931 --> 00:05:21,058
You know, I'm happy
Leonard's found someone.
88
00:05:23,569 --> 00:05:26,129
Not that anybody asked.
89
00:05:30,209 --> 00:05:33,007
How many Star Trek uniforms
do you have?
90
00:05:34,313 --> 00:05:37,407
Just two. Everyday and dress.
91
00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:39,745
Uh-huh.
92
00:05:40,219 --> 00:05:42,779
Listen, we need to talk
about something.
93
00:05:42,955 --> 00:05:44,718
Oh, my God,
you're breaking up with me.
94
00:05:44,891 --> 00:05:49,624
Why would you take me out shopping
then break up with me? That is so cruel.
95
00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:52,498
Leonard,
I'm not breaking up with you.
96
00:05:52,665 --> 00:05:54,394
Oh, okay.
97
00:05:58,271 --> 00:05:59,898
So, what's up?
98
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:02,739
It's a little weird...
99
00:06:02,909 --> 00:06:05,742
...your ex-girlfriend hanging out
here all the time.
100
00:06:05,912 --> 00:06:08,176
I know. I usually
never see my ex-girlfriends...
101
00:06:08,347 --> 00:06:10,679
...unless their hard drives crash.
102
00:06:12,752 --> 00:06:14,583
I'm just saying, how would you feel...
103
00:06:14,754 --> 00:06:16,984
...if I was hanging out
with my ex-boyfriend?
104
00:06:17,156 --> 00:06:20,023
Mm, not great, I guess.
But Penny and I are just friends.
105
00:06:20,226 --> 00:06:23,161
I don't care.
This is a woman you have slept with.
106
00:06:23,329 --> 00:06:24,591
If you want her around...
107
00:06:24,764 --> 00:06:27,927
...then I have to wonder if
maybe you're not ready to move on.
108
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,795
No, no, no, I'm ready.
109
00:06:29,969 --> 00:06:33,837
I gave up the gift of sight for you.
If that's not moving on, what is?
110
00:06:34,941 --> 00:06:37,637
You need to cut the cord with Penny.
111
00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:39,471
Oh, okay.
112
00:06:40,446 --> 00:06:43,176
- You don't sound very confident.
- No, no, I'm confident.
113
00:06:43,349 --> 00:06:46,284
It's not like I'm unfamiliar
with the "get lost" conversation.
114
00:06:46,452 --> 00:06:50,047
Although, this will be the first time
I'll be the one saying it.
115
00:06:50,256 --> 00:06:52,486
Thank you. I appreciate it.
116
00:06:52,658 --> 00:06:54,057
Sure.
117
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:56,820
Oh, God, you smell so good.
118
00:06:56,996 --> 00:07:00,056
Of course, that could just be
my other senses getting stronger.
119
00:07:04,470 --> 00:07:06,131
Hypothetically...
120
00:07:06,305 --> 00:07:09,138
...if I had access
to a Lieutenant Uhura uniform...
121
00:07:09,308 --> 00:07:10,332
...would you wear it?
122
00:07:10,509 --> 00:07:11,840
(CHUCKLES)
123
00:07:12,545 --> 00:07:15,013
Leonard, it is a source of great pain
to me and my family...
124
00:07:15,181 --> 00:07:18,844
...that my brother has that outfit
in his wardrobe. Can we not discuss it?
125
00:07:19,752 --> 00:07:21,413
I'm sorry. Never mind.
126
00:07:26,025 --> 00:07:27,549
And was your card
the jack of diamonds?
127
00:07:27,727 --> 00:07:29,194
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
128
00:07:29,362 --> 00:07:31,762
Unbelievable.
129
00:07:35,401 --> 00:07:37,631
Know how he did it yet?
130
00:07:42,675 --> 00:07:44,199
Um...
131
00:07:44,377 --> 00:07:46,538
Aw, he has the same look
my nephew gets...
132
00:07:46,712 --> 00:07:49,010
...when he can't figure out
how I got his nose.
133
00:07:52,752 --> 00:07:56,051
I have some remedial magic tricks
that might be more your speed.
134
00:07:56,222 --> 00:07:57,780
Like, oh, look.
135
00:07:59,692 --> 00:08:01,751
The pencil's rubber.
136
00:08:03,229 --> 00:08:05,857
Hey, I think I know
how you did the card trick.
137
00:08:06,032 --> 00:08:10,867
Oh, please. If I don't know,
you don't know. That's axiomatic.
138
00:08:11,037 --> 00:08:12,664
Come here.
139
00:08:14,774 --> 00:08:16,537
You're right.
140
00:08:17,476 --> 00:08:18,738
Not too bad for someone...
141
00:08:18,911 --> 00:08:21,311
...who doesn't know
what "axiomatic" means.
142
00:08:24,383 --> 00:08:26,078
(RAJESH CHUCKLES)
143
00:08:29,322 --> 00:08:31,483
- Oh, hi.
- Hey, you.
144
00:08:31,691 --> 00:08:33,215
What happened with the contacts?
145
00:08:33,392 --> 00:08:37,556
One of them is upstairs. The other one
sort of slipped back into my skull.
146
00:08:38,331 --> 00:08:40,424
Is that one of the new shirts
Priya got you?
147
00:08:40,599 --> 00:08:41,623
Yeah.
148
00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:43,291
You don't wanna wash that.
149
00:08:43,469 --> 00:08:45,130
- No?
- No, that's silk.
150
00:08:45,504 --> 00:08:47,404
Seriously,
what would you do without me?
151
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,398
Yeah. Ha, ha.
152
00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:54,443
I gotta tell you, I think you got
a real winner with Priya.
153
00:08:54,613 --> 00:08:55,739
Yeah, me too.
154
00:08:55,915 --> 00:08:57,109
She seems really sweet.
155
00:08:57,283 --> 00:08:59,308
You do not wanna
take that for granted.
156
00:08:59,485 --> 00:09:01,783
There are a lot of bitches out there.
157
00:09:03,322 --> 00:09:06,257
Yeah, bitches are the worst.
158
00:09:07,093 --> 00:09:08,321
I'll see you later.
159
00:09:08,494 --> 00:09:10,985
Wait, uh, Penny, there's something
I have to tell you.
160
00:09:11,163 --> 00:09:12,721
What?
161
00:09:12,898 --> 00:09:15,958
Okay, uh, how do I put this? Um...
162
00:09:17,269 --> 00:09:19,430
Are you familiar
with Darwin's observation...
163
00:09:19,605 --> 00:09:22,540
...of the finches
in the Galapagos Islands?
164
00:09:23,376 --> 00:09:24,866
Did they make a movie about it?
165
00:09:25,978 --> 00:09:28,003
- No.
- Then no.
166
00:09:28,781 --> 00:09:30,112
All right, well, anyway, uh...
167
00:09:30,282 --> 00:09:32,842
...Darwin observed that when two groups
of finches...
168
00:09:33,019 --> 00:09:34,884
...competed
over the same food source...
169
00:09:35,054 --> 00:09:38,148
...eventually one of them would evolve
a different beak shape...
170
00:09:38,324 --> 00:09:40,622
...so they could feed
on something else.
171
00:09:41,494 --> 00:09:43,257
Okay.
172
00:09:43,863 --> 00:09:46,525
So, what do you think
we can learn from that behavior...
173
00:09:46,699 --> 00:09:48,758
...that we can apply to our own lives?
174
00:09:50,469 --> 00:09:54,769
Uh, a bird in the hand
is worth two in the bush?
175
00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:59,310
Sure, that has birds in it.
176
00:10:01,714 --> 00:10:05,275
It's fun talking to you, Leonard.
I always learn stuff.
177
00:10:08,788 --> 00:10:11,154
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna count that.
178
00:10:14,727 --> 00:10:17,890
PRIYA: Do you really have
to wear that in bed?
179
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:24,165
Yeah. The doctor didn't want me
to rub my eye during the night.
180
00:10:24,336 --> 00:10:27,430
It was either this
or one of those giant neck cones.
181
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:32,003
So did you get to talk to Penny?
182
00:10:32,178 --> 00:10:35,011
Oh, yes. Indeed, I did.
183
00:10:36,248 --> 00:10:37,408
And?
184
00:10:37,583 --> 00:10:40,211
She understood everything I said.
Case closed.
185
00:10:40,386 --> 00:10:41,819
Was she upset?
186
00:10:42,521 --> 00:10:45,388
Maybe, but that's not my problem.
187
00:10:45,558 --> 00:10:47,048
She's not my girlfriend, you are.
188
00:10:48,227 --> 00:10:50,092
I hope you weren't cruel to her.
189
00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:54,394
Is the autumn cruel
for letting the flowers die...
190
00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:57,229
...or is that just nature's way?
191
00:10:59,972 --> 00:11:00,996
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
192
00:11:01,173 --> 00:11:03,403
SHELDON:
Leonard? Leonard?
193
00:11:03,676 --> 00:11:05,007
- Leonard?
- What?
194
00:11:05,177 --> 00:11:08,442
SHELDON: I think I figured out
Wolowitz's magic trick...
195
00:11:09,548 --> 00:11:11,880
...and I need you to pick a card.
196
00:11:12,751 --> 00:11:15,515
I am not opening that door, Sheldon.
197
00:11:15,688 --> 00:11:16,712
SHELDON:
As you wish.
198
00:11:22,394 --> 00:11:26,262
Pick a card, put it back,
and prepare to be amazed.
199
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:30,234
Did you pick one?
200
00:11:30,402 --> 00:11:31,767
Yep.
201
00:11:33,873 --> 00:11:36,467
SHELDON:
Is this your card?
202
00:11:37,643 --> 00:11:39,804
- Nope.
SHELDON: Drat.
203
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,805
Is this your card?
204
00:11:44,416 --> 00:11:46,008
No.
205
00:11:46,185 --> 00:11:47,880
SHELDON:
I'll be right back.
206
00:11:57,463 --> 00:11:59,624
Pick a card, Sheldon.
207
00:12:00,966 --> 00:12:04,265
Now look at it,
and put it back in the deck.
208
00:12:06,205 --> 00:12:07,672
Now do you remember your card?
209
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,604
Of course, I do,
I have an eidetic memory.
210
00:12:10,776 --> 00:12:14,212
My apologies. Now shuffle the cards.
211
00:12:14,413 --> 00:12:16,813
Shuffling.
212
00:12:17,783 --> 00:12:19,307
Wait here.
213
00:12:20,853 --> 00:12:25,517
- Processing image, cross-referencing.
- What are you doing?
214
00:12:25,691 --> 00:12:28,626
I'm reverse engineering
Wolowitz's magic trick.
215
00:12:30,196 --> 00:12:31,925
What's up with the infrared cameras?
216
00:12:32,097 --> 00:12:34,930
I'm measuring residual heat levels
on the playing cards...
217
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:37,295
...to determine
which one's been touched.
218
00:12:37,469 --> 00:12:39,266
If you hope to have children...
219
00:12:39,438 --> 00:12:41,599
...I suggest you switch
from briefs to boxers.
220
00:12:41,807 --> 00:12:43,672
Your testicles look a tad warm.
221
00:12:53,085 --> 00:12:56,919
Holy crap, are you connected
to the Oak Ridge National Laboratory?
222
00:12:57,089 --> 00:13:00,718
Yes. I'm using their Cray supercomputer
to analyze shuffling patterns.
223
00:13:02,194 --> 00:13:04,685
Sheldon, that computer
is used for national defense.
224
00:13:04,863 --> 00:13:06,728
Hacking into it is a federal crime.
225
00:13:06,899 --> 00:13:09,868
Relax, we're not under attack
right now.
226
00:13:11,904 --> 00:13:15,965
Okay, I'm leaving
before the black helicopters get here.
227
00:13:16,775 --> 00:13:20,370
And is this my card?
228
00:13:20,546 --> 00:13:22,411
Rats.
229
00:13:25,451 --> 00:13:29,114
I wonder if Howard
used a radioactive tracer.
230
00:13:29,288 --> 00:13:33,247
Where am I going to find
uranium-235 this time of night?
231
00:13:35,995 --> 00:13:38,225
Come on, Craigslist.
232
00:13:42,635 --> 00:13:45,126
Is it racist that I took you
to an Indian restaurant?
233
00:13:46,605 --> 00:13:48,800
It's okay, I like Indian food.
234
00:13:48,974 --> 00:13:50,942
Hmm, or as you probably
call it back home, food.
235
00:13:51,110 --> 00:13:52,168
(CHUCKLES)
236
00:13:53,779 --> 00:13:56,407
Why didn't you wear your contacts?
Don't you like them?
237
00:13:56,582 --> 00:13:59,710
No, I do. It's just I knew
I was having curry tonight...
238
00:13:59,885 --> 00:14:02,115
...and I only want one part
of my body to burn at a time.
239
00:14:02,288 --> 00:14:03,687
(CHUCKLES)
240
00:14:05,157 --> 00:14:06,181
You know...
241
00:14:06,358 --> 00:14:07,382
(CLEARS THROAT)
242
00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:10,153
...my company offered me
a position here in Los Angeles.
243
00:14:11,797 --> 00:14:14,231
Does that mean you'd relocate
here permanently?
244
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,760
Maybe. What do you think?
245
00:14:17,303 --> 00:14:18,736
Oh, I love it.
246
00:14:18,904 --> 00:14:20,394
Well, that's great.
247
00:14:20,572 --> 00:14:21,664
(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)
248
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,808
Hi.
249
00:14:25,044 --> 00:14:27,672
Hi. Just hang on.
250
00:14:29,014 --> 00:14:30,038
(CHUCKLES)
251
00:14:30,215 --> 00:14:32,046
- Small world.
- You did talk to her, didn't you?
252
00:14:32,217 --> 00:14:35,243
Of course, I did.
I talked and talked and talked.
253
00:14:35,454 --> 00:14:39,550
Hey. Look at Leonard
in his fancy-ass grown-up clothes.
254
00:14:41,393 --> 00:14:42,451
Way to go, Priya.
255
00:14:42,628 --> 00:14:46,189
For once, he doesn't look like
a mannequin in the boys department.
256
00:14:46,799 --> 00:14:47,823
(PENNY AND PRIYA CHUCKLE)
257
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,264
Hey, did he tell you
I saved the silk shirt?
258
00:14:50,469 --> 00:14:51,731
No, he did not.
259
00:14:51,904 --> 00:14:55,738
He was gonna throw it in the washing
machine with his Spiderman underwear.
260
00:14:56,508 --> 00:14:58,738
That's our Lenny, huh? Ha, ha.
261
00:14:58,911 --> 00:15:01,243
Yes, that's our Lenny.
262
00:15:01,413 --> 00:15:03,278
So how's the food here?
263
00:15:03,682 --> 00:15:06,617
Oh, wow, that is really, really good.
264
00:15:06,785 --> 00:15:09,515
Okay. You guys are on a date.
We can hang out anytime.
265
00:15:09,688 --> 00:15:10,712
Have fun.
266
00:15:10,889 --> 00:15:12,049
- Bye.
PRIYA: Good night.
267
00:15:12,224 --> 00:15:15,250
Oh, that's hot, hot, hot.
268
00:15:18,163 --> 00:15:22,395
Whew. It really sneaks up on you, huh?
All right, I gotta go.
269
00:15:27,005 --> 00:15:28,700
It is pretty spicy.
270
00:15:31,944 --> 00:15:33,741
Oh, I've been meaning to tell you...
271
00:15:33,912 --> 00:15:35,641
...I figured out your magic trick.
272
00:15:36,648 --> 00:15:38,548
- Really?
- Oh, yes.
273
00:15:38,717 --> 00:15:41,015
In fact, I improved upon it.
274
00:15:41,954 --> 00:15:44,479
I'd love to see that.
How about you, Raj?
275
00:15:44,656 --> 00:15:47,022
Beefaroni and a show?
How do you turn that down?
276
00:15:47,192 --> 00:15:48,523
(HOWARD CHUCKLES)
277
00:15:49,294 --> 00:15:50,488
All right.
278
00:15:50,662 --> 00:15:52,027
(CLEARS THROAT)
279
00:15:53,332 --> 00:15:57,098
- Pick a card.
- Okay, hmm...
280
00:15:57,970 --> 00:15:59,631
Bippity-boppity-boo.
281
00:15:59,805 --> 00:16:01,136
(BEEPS)
282
00:16:09,815 --> 00:16:12,010
What's with the wand and the beep?
283
00:16:12,184 --> 00:16:15,984
The wand is called showmanship,
and the beep is none of your business.
284
00:16:17,756 --> 00:16:18,780
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
285
00:16:18,957 --> 00:16:20,788
Oh, excuse me.
I'm getting a text message...
286
00:16:20,959 --> 00:16:23,587
...completely unrelated
to this magic trick.
287
00:16:24,596 --> 00:16:27,064
Oh, look, my dry cleaning's ready.
288
00:16:27,232 --> 00:16:30,929
And your card
was the five of spades. Ta-da!
289
00:16:32,337 --> 00:16:34,805
These cards have barcodes on them.
290
00:16:34,973 --> 00:16:37,669
The wand is a reader.
It's transmitting to your phone.
291
00:16:42,781 --> 00:16:44,646
I said, "ta-da." Show's over.
292
00:16:46,084 --> 00:16:49,645
That's pathetic. Let me show you
how a real magician does it.
293
00:16:49,822 --> 00:16:52,882
Raj, take a card.
Don't let me see it.
294
00:16:53,058 --> 00:16:55,151
Okay.
295
00:16:55,327 --> 00:16:56,885
Three of clubs.
296
00:16:57,062 --> 00:16:59,462
Son of a gun,
you're blowing my mind.
297
00:17:03,469 --> 00:17:05,198
Bippity-Boppity-Booya
298
00:17:05,370 --> 00:17:07,133
(HOWARD AND RAJESH CHUCKLE)
299
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,437
That does it. I'm getting uranium.
300
00:17:15,347 --> 00:17:19,681
- You ever gonna tell him?
- Maybe. When it stops being fun.
301
00:17:20,486 --> 00:17:22,010
So never.
302
00:17:22,688 --> 00:17:24,246
No.
303
00:17:30,429 --> 00:17:33,762
- Hey, I was just on my way to work.
- It's not important. It can wait.
304
00:17:33,932 --> 00:17:35,900
No, it's all right. Walk me down.
305
00:17:36,068 --> 00:17:37,194
So, what's up?
306
00:17:37,369 --> 00:17:40,338
Uh, I kind of have a problem
I was hoping you could help me with.
307
00:17:40,506 --> 00:17:43,373
PENNY: Sure, anything.
- Move out.
308
00:17:44,443 --> 00:17:46,570
PENNY: What?
- Not far.
309
00:17:46,745 --> 00:17:51,182
Hey, if you ever wanna start a family,
La Canada has some great schools.
310
00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:54,342
Okay, I'm not moving anywhere.
What the hell is this all about?
311
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,454
Why does it have to be
about anything?
312
00:17:56,655 --> 00:18:01,115
Can't a fellow ask his buddy to relocate,
no questions asked?
313
00:18:01,293 --> 00:18:04,228
Oh, for God's sake, Leonard,
this is about Priya, isn't it?
314
00:18:04,396 --> 00:18:06,364
She doesn't want me
hanging out with you.
315
00:18:06,532 --> 00:18:09,092
Yes. There, I said it.
316
00:18:10,903 --> 00:18:11,927
Okay, look.
317
00:18:12,104 --> 00:18:14,800
- I happen to like your girlfriend.
- And she likes you.
318
00:18:14,973 --> 00:18:17,237
- No, she doesn't.
- Not really, no.
319
00:18:17,409 --> 00:18:20,708
It doesn't matter. From now on,
I will keep my distance from you.
320
00:18:20,879 --> 00:18:23,541
Hold on. What kind of
distance are we talking about?
321
00:18:23,715 --> 00:18:24,909
Because we are neighbors.
322
00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:28,177
I mean, I can hear the toilet flush
in your apartment.
323
00:18:28,353 --> 00:18:31,083
- You can hear my toilet flush?
- I don't listen for it...
324
00:18:31,256 --> 00:18:34,987
...but it's nice to know
everything's okay with your plumbing.
325
00:18:35,894 --> 00:18:37,885
The building's plumbing.
326
00:18:38,063 --> 00:18:40,759
Leonard, I get it.
You're in a new relationship.
327
00:18:40,933 --> 00:18:43,868
I'm happy for you. Why don't we
shake hands and part friends?
328
00:18:44,036 --> 00:18:45,435
Well, now hold on.
329
00:18:45,604 --> 00:18:46,730
How about this?
330
00:18:46,905 --> 00:18:49,874
How about we still hang out,
but on the down low?
331
00:18:52,010 --> 00:18:55,537
- Are you really that kind of guy?
- No.
332
00:18:55,714 --> 00:18:59,150
I actually felt kind of silly
just saying "on the down low."
333
00:19:01,253 --> 00:19:02,720
Goodbye, Leonard.
334
00:19:06,592 --> 00:19:08,423
Penny, wait.
335
00:19:14,866 --> 00:19:16,857
Damn contacts.
336
00:19:21,673 --> 00:19:23,573
Incoming.
337
00:19:24,543 --> 00:19:26,568
- Hi.
- Hey.
338
00:19:26,745 --> 00:19:28,576
Hello.
339
00:19:29,047 --> 00:19:31,242
Why so glum, chum?
340
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:35,283
Apparently, you can't hack
into a government supercomputer...
341
00:19:35,454 --> 00:19:37,081
...and then try to buy uranium...
342
00:19:37,255 --> 00:19:41,817
...without the Department of Homeland
Security tattling to your mother.
343
00:19:46,365 --> 00:19:48,833
Oh, that's too bad.
Figure out the magic trick yet?
344
00:19:49,001 --> 00:19:51,128
(MOCKINGLY)
"Figure out the magic trick yet?"
345
00:19:52,137 --> 00:19:54,162
- Want me to tell you how to do it?
- No.
346
00:19:54,339 --> 00:19:55,863
I'll show you one more time.
347
00:19:56,041 --> 00:19:59,135
- Raj?
- Hang on.
348
00:19:59,745 --> 00:20:04,148
This time do it with me, so I can
make sure there's no monkey business.
349
00:20:06,418 --> 00:20:07,476
All right.
350
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,295
- Two of hearts.
- I hate you.
351
00:20:23,535 --> 00:20:25,969
(RAJESH AND HOWARD LAUGHING)
352
00:20:30,809 --> 00:20:33,642
Yeah, he's gonna win the Nobel Prize.
27797
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