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1
00:00:03,613 --> 00:00:06,104
I'm telling you,
if xenon emits ultraviolet light...
2
00:00:06,282 --> 00:00:08,546
...those dark-matter discoveries
must be wrong.
3
00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:12,347
Yes, well, if we lived in a world where
slow-moving xenon produced light...
4
00:00:12,522 --> 00:00:14,888
...then you'd be correct.
Also, pigs would fly...
5
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,117
...my derriere would produce
cotton candy...
6
00:00:17,293 --> 00:00:20,626
...and The Phantom Menace
would be a timeless classic.
7
00:00:20,797 --> 00:00:22,196
Oh, you're so arrogant.
8
00:00:22,365 --> 00:00:25,266
If you were a superhero,
your name would be Captain Arrogant.
9
00:00:25,435 --> 00:00:28,529
And you know what your superpower
would be? Arrogance.
10
00:00:29,539 --> 00:00:32,474
You're wrong again.
If my superpower were arrogance...
11
00:00:32,642 --> 00:00:35,736
...my name would be Dr. Arroganto.
12
00:00:37,514 --> 00:00:40,278
I love watching Raj and Sheldon
try to work together, heh.
13
00:00:40,450 --> 00:00:43,908
Yeah. It's like if Alien and Predator
decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.
14
00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:45,349
(HOWARD CHUCKLES)
15
00:00:45,522 --> 00:00:48,787
Has it occurred to you you're missing
the big picture? If you look...
16
00:00:48,958 --> 00:00:50,289
- Penny? Penny?
- What's up?
17
00:00:50,460 --> 00:00:53,224
Nothing. I just wanted
to make Raj stop talking.
18
00:00:54,631 --> 00:00:55,655
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
19
00:00:55,832 --> 00:00:58,027
No, no, no. He won. Suck it up.
20
00:00:58,835 --> 00:01:00,302
PENNY:
I'd ask if you want dessert...
21
00:01:00,470 --> 00:01:02,734
...but Sheldon doesn't eat dessert
on Tuesdays.
22
00:01:02,906 --> 00:01:05,067
If Raj wanted something,
he couldn't tell me.
23
00:01:05,241 --> 00:01:08,438
Howard won't order anything,
but he'll come up with some comment...
24
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:10,772
...involving the words "pie"
or "cheesecake."
25
00:01:10,947 --> 00:01:13,780
Leonard's lactose intolerant.
He can't eat anything here...
26
00:01:13,950 --> 00:01:17,147
...without his intestines blowing up
like a balloon animal.
27
00:01:18,188 --> 00:01:21,817
- Hang on. I could have the fruit platter.
- You want the fruit platter?
28
00:01:21,991 --> 00:01:23,288
- Does it have melon?
- Yeah.
29
00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:24,586
No, I can't eat melon.
30
00:01:26,296 --> 00:01:30,460
Oh, Howard, heads up. Your ex-girlfriend
just came in for her shift.
31
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:35,027
- When was the last time you saw her?
- Not since we broke up. Wow.
32
00:01:35,205 --> 00:01:36,866
How am I gonna play this?
33
00:01:37,073 --> 00:01:40,440
Sophisticated and relaxed?
Friendly, noncommittal?
34
00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:42,134
Cold and distant?
35
00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:46,873
- Hi, guys.
- Hey.
36
00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:48,607
Hello.
37
00:01:50,186 --> 00:01:52,984
I see you decided
to go with pathetic and frightened.
38
00:01:53,890 --> 00:01:55,721
It's one of his best moves.
39
00:02:25,455 --> 00:02:30,518
(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS)
40
00:02:42,739 --> 00:02:45,299
So, my dear, we meet again.
41
00:02:47,911 --> 00:02:50,573
- Hello, Howard. I've missed you.
- Heh.
42
00:02:50,747 --> 00:02:54,478
I've missed you, Katee Sackhoff.
43
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,977
- One question.
- Anything.
44
00:02:57,153 --> 00:03:00,316
Why am I wearing my
Battlestar Galactica flight suit in bed?
45
00:03:01,124 --> 00:03:03,422
Why are you in bed with me?
46
00:03:03,626 --> 00:03:06,891
I mean, if we start to question this,
it all falls apart.
47
00:03:07,697 --> 00:03:08,721
Sorry.
48
00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:10,195
(KATEE CLEARS THROAT)
49
00:03:10,366 --> 00:03:14,496
Oh, ravish me, Howard.
My loins ache for you.
50
00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:17,835
Okay, if you insist.
51
00:03:18,374 --> 00:03:21,605
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard, have you seen my girdle?
52
00:03:21,778 --> 00:03:22,870
No, Ma!
53
00:03:23,046 --> 00:03:26,948
I can't find it, and I'm late
for my Weight Watchers meeting!
54
00:03:27,684 --> 00:03:30,517
Maybe it committed suicide!
Leave me alone!
55
00:03:30,987 --> 00:03:32,454
(SIGHS)
56
00:03:32,622 --> 00:03:34,715
Now, where were we?
57
00:03:34,891 --> 00:03:38,156
I believe you were about to rip off
my uniform with your teeth.
58
00:03:39,596 --> 00:03:42,190
Bernadette. What are you doing here?
59
00:03:42,365 --> 00:03:46,028
Well, if I had to guess, I'd say I'm here
because you saw me this evening...
60
00:03:46,202 --> 00:03:48,534
...and you're still hung up on me.
- No, I'm not.
61
00:03:48,705 --> 00:03:49,797
KATEE:
Clearly you are.
62
00:03:52,609 --> 00:03:57,410
Otherwise, based on past experience,
we'd be done by now.
63
00:03:58,815 --> 00:04:01,477
Okay, I'm a little confused here.
64
00:04:01,684 --> 00:04:03,982
Oh, my. Can I help?
65
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:10,486
- Not that kind of confused.
- What's George Takei doing here?
66
00:04:10,693 --> 00:04:13,059
Howard, do you have latent
homosexual tendencies?
67
00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:18,893
- Of course not.
- So you say, yet here I am.
68
00:04:21,604 --> 00:04:23,401
George, let me ask you something.
69
00:04:23,573 --> 00:04:26,667
How did you deal with being typecast
as a science-fiction icon?
70
00:04:26,843 --> 00:04:31,576
It's difficult. You try and stretch
as an actor, do Strindberg, O'Neill...
71
00:04:31,748 --> 00:04:35,616
...but all they want is,
"Course laid in, captain."
72
00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:40,181
Tell me about it. It's frakking frustrating.
73
00:04:40,356 --> 00:04:42,620
Wait, Katee. Why are you leaving?
74
00:04:42,792 --> 00:04:45,818
She's leaving
because you really wanna be with me.
75
00:04:45,995 --> 00:04:50,864
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Howard,
I found my girdle! It was in the dryer!
76
00:04:51,034 --> 00:04:52,092
Great, Ma!
77
00:04:52,268 --> 00:04:53,633
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
I think it shrunk!
78
00:04:53,803 --> 00:04:58,433
I'm spilling out
like the Pillsbury Doughboy here!
79
00:04:58,608 --> 00:05:03,341
And with that mental picture,
I think we're done for the evening.
80
00:05:08,985 --> 00:05:11,818
You never told me what happened
between you and Bernadette.
81
00:05:11,988 --> 00:05:15,617
- I did a stupid thing, heh.
- Yeah, I guessed that.
82
00:05:16,325 --> 00:05:19,886
It was the kind of thing that makes it
kind of hard to face her now, heh.
83
00:05:20,563 --> 00:05:25,023
That covers anything from farting in bed
to killing a homeless guy.
84
00:05:26,769 --> 00:05:29,329
Oh, my God, you ran over a hobo.
85
00:05:29,505 --> 00:05:31,632
No. And stop asking.
86
00:05:31,808 --> 00:05:33,833
Fine. You wanna get back
together with her.
87
00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:37,468
You're too ashamed to face her
because of whatever it is you did.
88
00:05:37,647 --> 00:05:40,480
- In a nutshell.
- Okay, well, how about this?
89
00:05:40,650 --> 00:05:43,551
Kidnap Bernadette from the opera
wearing a creepy mask...
90
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,915
...so she doesn't know it's you.
91
00:05:47,090 --> 00:05:49,923
Now, you see,
I don't know if you're kidding or not.
92
00:05:50,493 --> 00:05:54,395
You're being unreasonable.
Why can't I have a desk?
93
00:05:54,564 --> 00:05:57,897
Our collaboration is a work of the mind.
We don't need desks.
94
00:05:58,067 --> 00:06:00,160
- You have a desk.
- Correct.
95
00:06:00,336 --> 00:06:02,998
- But I can't have one.
- You're two for two.
96
00:06:03,573 --> 00:06:06,565
- Why can't he have a desk?
- Oh, Lord, will this day never end?
97
00:06:06,743 --> 00:06:09,712
As I've explained repeatedly
to Dr. Koothrappali...
98
00:06:09,879 --> 00:06:12,370
...whose ability to comprehend
the American idiom...
99
00:06:12,548 --> 00:06:16,075
...fails him when it's convenient,
there's no money in my budget...
100
00:06:16,252 --> 00:06:17,947
...for additional office furniture.
101
00:06:18,121 --> 00:06:20,589
Oh. But there's money
for a drawer full of Red Vines...
102
00:06:20,757 --> 00:06:22,418
...a marshmallow-shooting rifle...
103
00:06:22,592 --> 00:06:26,050
...and a super-executive ant farm
with glow-in-the-dark sand?
104
00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:29,325
Yes.
105
00:06:29,699 --> 00:06:32,600
- What if he buys his own desk?
- What if I buy my own desk?
106
00:06:32,769 --> 00:06:34,236
- That's ridiculous.
- Why?
107
00:06:34,403 --> 00:06:35,893
Because...
108
00:06:40,209 --> 00:06:41,437
Yes?
109
00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:43,374
- It's my office.
110
00:06:44,747 --> 00:06:46,647
- Sheldon.
- All right, all right.
111
00:06:46,849 --> 00:06:49,841
- He can buy his own desk.
- And I can put it in your office?
112
00:06:50,052 --> 00:06:51,815
Well, you really wanna dot the I's...
113
00:06:51,988 --> 00:06:54,980
...and cross the T's, don't you?
- Why would you want...
114
00:06:55,158 --> 00:06:58,753
...a glow-in-the-dark ant farm?
- They do their best work at night.
115
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,357
(SNIFFS)
116
00:07:05,535 --> 00:07:06,559
Ah, it's okay.
117
00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:08,894
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
118
00:07:09,071 --> 00:07:10,470
SHELDON:
Penny.
119
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,335
Penny.
120
00:07:12,508 --> 00:07:14,135
Penny.
121
00:07:20,249 --> 00:07:22,114
SHELDON (ON RECORDING):
Penny.
122
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:26,352
Would you have opened the door
if you knew it was me?
123
00:07:26,522 --> 00:07:30,424
Not since I found out the teddy bear
you gave me had a webcam in it.
124
00:07:32,028 --> 00:07:36,124
I just have a question.
Uh, does Bernadette ever talk about me?
125
00:07:36,299 --> 00:07:37,766
- Yeah. Absolutely.
- She does?
126
00:07:37,934 --> 00:07:41,836
Yeah, sure. Just yesterday, she asked,
"Why is Howard hiding under the table?"
127
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,132
- She saw that, huh?
- Oh, no, not at first.
128
00:07:45,308 --> 00:07:47,401
Right after I pointed it out.
129
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:51,309
Let me ask you something else.
Is she seeing anybody?
130
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:52,970
Uh, not that I know of.
131
00:07:53,149 --> 00:07:55,879
While we're on the subject,
why did you guys break up, anyway?
132
00:07:56,052 --> 00:07:58,953
- Oh. I'd rather not say, heh.
- Howard, if you want my help...
133
00:07:59,121 --> 00:08:01,715
...I've gotta know what happened.
- It's embarrassing.
134
00:08:01,924 --> 00:08:04,358
Yeah, that's what I'm counting on. Spill.
135
00:08:05,561 --> 00:08:08,962
Okay, well,
you know "World of Warcraft"?
136
00:08:09,131 --> 00:08:10,621
The online game? Sure.
137
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,267
Well, did you know...
138
00:08:12,435 --> 00:08:15,563
...that the characters in the game
can have sex with each other?
139
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:21,076
Oh, God.
I think I see where this is going.
140
00:08:21,510 --> 00:08:23,535
Her name was Glissinda the Troll.
141
00:08:26,315 --> 00:08:27,714
Bernadette walked in on me...
142
00:08:27,884 --> 00:08:31,980
...while we were doing the cyber-nasty
under the Bridge of Souls.
143
00:08:32,154 --> 00:08:33,178
(CHUCKLES)
144
00:08:33,356 --> 00:08:36,018
Oh, you're right. That is so embarrassing.
145
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:40,256
- Would you talk to her?
- Bernadette or the troll?
146
00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:44,863
Bernadette. She was so mad at me, she
wouldn't listen to my side of the story.
147
00:08:45,034 --> 00:08:46,331
Well, what was your side?
148
00:08:46,502 --> 00:08:49,494
For all we know, Glissinda the Troll
wasn't even a real woman.
149
00:08:49,672 --> 00:08:53,768
She could've been
a 50-year-old truck driver in New Jersey.
150
00:08:54,477 --> 00:08:57,537
Really?
And that didn't make her feel better?
151
00:08:58,414 --> 00:08:59,438
Will you talk to her?
152
00:08:59,615 --> 00:09:02,516
See if there's any chance
we could get back together?
153
00:09:02,685 --> 00:09:05,586
Uh, gee, Howard, I really don't wanna
get in the middle of this.
154
00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:07,518
No. Why would you?
155
00:09:07,690 --> 00:09:11,524
I'm just another lonely nerd
living with his mother...
156
00:09:11,694 --> 00:09:15,425
...trying to find
any scrap of happiness he can.
157
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:19,295
Maybe to make up for the fact
that his dad left them when he was 11.
158
00:09:20,369 --> 00:09:21,802
Okay, I will think about it.
159
00:09:22,004 --> 00:09:25,633
You know, I've always blamed myself
for him leaving.
160
00:09:25,808 --> 00:09:29,266
I always thought it was
because I wasn't the son he wanted.
161
00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:30,707
I said I'd think about it.
162
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,371
I wasn't athletic.
Yeah, I was kind of sickly...
163
00:09:33,549 --> 00:09:36,916
Okay, fine.
Look, look, I'm calling her now. See?
164
00:09:37,086 --> 00:09:38,246
Thank you.
165
00:09:41,090 --> 00:09:43,786
Howard asked Penny
to talk to Bernadette, and she did.
166
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,485
Bernadette agreed to meet him
for a cup of coffee.
167
00:09:46,662 --> 00:09:47,959
- One question.
- Yeah?
168
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:51,156
Why on earth
are you telling me all this?
169
00:09:52,068 --> 00:09:55,333
I don't know. Sometimes
your movements are so lifelike...
170
00:09:55,538 --> 00:09:58,132
...I forget you're not a real boy.
171
00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:07,841
(THUD)
172
00:10:20,763 --> 00:10:22,355
You said I could buy a desk.
173
00:10:22,531 --> 00:10:28,333
This isn't a desk.
This is a Brobdingnagian monstrosity.
174
00:10:28,838 --> 00:10:33,207
Is that the American idiom
for "giant, big-ass desk"?
175
00:10:33,809 --> 00:10:36,039
It's actually British.
176
00:10:36,645 --> 00:10:39,273
- Can you say it again for me?
- Brobdingnagian.
177
00:10:39,648 --> 00:10:42,674
- One more time.
- Brobdingnagian.
178
00:10:42,852 --> 00:10:46,879
- Now three times fast.
- Brobdingnagian. Brobdingna...
179
00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,417
How did you even get it in here?
180
00:10:51,594 --> 00:10:54,495
That's for me, Ramone, Julio, Jesus,
and Rodrigo to know...
181
00:10:54,663 --> 00:10:56,221
...and you to find out.
182
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,768
All right, you've made your point.
183
00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:03,029
A fine prank. Very amusing. Ha-ha-ha.
184
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:05,105
Now get it out.
185
00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:07,373
- No.
- Yes.
186
00:11:07,543 --> 00:11:09,443
- No. No.
- Yes. Yes.
187
00:11:09,612 --> 00:11:13,104
I have three brothers and two sisters,
Sheldon. I can do this all day.
188
00:11:13,616 --> 00:11:17,484
All right, if you're not going to
remove it, I'll remove it for you.
189
00:11:17,653 --> 00:11:19,416
Knock yourself out.
190
00:11:31,801 --> 00:11:33,632
- Help me move my desk.
- No.
191
00:11:33,803 --> 00:11:35,998
- Yes. Yes.
- No. No.
192
00:11:36,172 --> 00:11:38,367
It's too Brobdingnagian.
193
00:11:40,342 --> 00:11:42,037
Why do you even want this here?
194
00:11:42,211 --> 00:11:45,271
Its size is completely disproportionate
to its purpose.
195
00:11:45,448 --> 00:11:49,612
Well, seeing as its purpose was
to piss you off, I'd say it's spot-on.
196
00:11:52,054 --> 00:11:54,420
All right, I see what's going on.
197
00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:58,219
This is the opening salvo
in what will be an escalating series...
198
00:11:58,394 --> 00:12:03,457
...of juvenile tit-for-tat exchanges.
Well titted.
199
00:12:03,632 --> 00:12:07,432
- Thank you.
- Stand by for my upcoming tat.
200
00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:09,571
- Hey, Sheldon?
- Yes?
201
00:12:09,738 --> 00:12:11,433
No.
202
00:12:11,874 --> 00:12:13,808
See what I did there? I turned it around.
203
00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:24,848
- Sorry. I had to clock out.
- Oh, no, that's okay. Ahem.
204
00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:28,456
- How have you been?
- Okay. You know, busy. School, work.
205
00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:29,989
- You?
- Same.
206
00:12:30,159 --> 00:12:32,423
I took a scuba-diving course
over the summer...
207
00:12:32,595 --> 00:12:35,826
...but it turns out
I'm terrified of the ocean.
208
00:12:36,665 --> 00:12:37,689
That's too bad.
209
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:41,700
You wouldn't know anybody who
wants to buy a wet suit? Boys' large.
210
00:12:43,772 --> 00:12:45,672
Yeah, forget it. Not important.
211
00:12:45,841 --> 00:12:48,833
Ahem. So are you seeing anyone?
212
00:12:49,044 --> 00:12:51,604
- To be honest...
- Hey, how are we doing over here?
213
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:54,010
- Can I get you something to drink?
- Uh, not for me.
214
00:12:54,183 --> 00:12:55,946
- I'm okay.
- Are you gonna order food?
215
00:12:56,118 --> 00:12:57,710
- Maybe later.
- Okay.
216
00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,445
- So are you seeing anybody?
- No.
217
00:13:00,623 --> 00:13:04,320
That's what I told him when
he asked me. I hope that's not out of line.
218
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:07,360
- No, it's fine.
- Heh, Penny, can we have a little privacy?
219
00:13:07,530 --> 00:13:10,021
- Oh, heh, I'm sorry.
- Heh.
220
00:13:12,801 --> 00:13:14,962
What about you?
Have you been seeing anybody?
221
00:13:15,137 --> 00:13:19,540
Well, I mean, you know how it is
with guys. We have needs, and... Heh.
222
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:23,769
- So you've been seeing other girls?
- Well, uh, not real girls.
223
00:13:23,946 --> 00:13:25,277
(HOWARD CHUCKLES)
224
00:13:25,948 --> 00:13:28,746
Does that mean slutty trolls?
225
00:13:28,951 --> 00:13:31,181
You look thirsty.
I brought you some iced tea.
226
00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:33,913
- Thank you.
- It's passion fruit. New on the menu.
227
00:13:34,089 --> 00:13:35,886
- I know. I work here.
PENNY: Oh.
228
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:41,261
Yeah, you're right. Doy.
So, Howard, trolls, yay or nay?
229
00:13:42,231 --> 00:13:45,894
- Isn't there somewhere else you can be?
- Not where I can hear you guys.
230
00:13:48,704 --> 00:13:51,730
Okay, fine. Look, I'll admit, heh...
231
00:13:51,907 --> 00:13:55,172
...there are dark, sordid little corners
of the Internet...
232
00:13:55,344 --> 00:13:59,280
...where the name Wolowizard
is whispered in hushed tones.
233
00:14:00,216 --> 00:14:03,708
But the only reason I go there,
the only reason I've ever gone there...
234
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:06,980
...is because I don't have a real woman
in my life.
235
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,984
- You happy?
- Yeah. That'll hold me for a while.
236
00:14:13,229 --> 00:14:14,890
Howard, you did have a real woman.
237
00:14:15,064 --> 00:14:19,797
I was right there in the next room while
you were clicking that troll's brains out.
238
00:14:22,771 --> 00:14:26,138
Yeah, but we weren't, heh...
I mean, you and I never...
239
00:14:26,308 --> 00:14:28,435
- Had sex?
- Yeah.
240
00:14:28,611 --> 00:14:32,206
- Well, whose fault was that?
- Complimentary nachos.
241
00:14:33,315 --> 00:14:34,748
You enjoy.
242
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,942
Never had sex? Wow.
243
00:14:38,153 --> 00:14:40,212
What do you mean,
whose fault was that?
244
00:14:40,389 --> 00:14:43,256
We could've been having sex,
but you never made the move.
245
00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:45,723
I didn't think you wanted me
to make the move.
246
00:14:45,894 --> 00:14:49,295
Howard, a girl doesn't go out with a man
like you, with your looks...
247
00:14:49,465 --> 00:14:52,491
...your fancy patter,
and your tight hoochie pants...
248
00:14:52,668 --> 00:14:56,570
...if she's not expecting him
to eventually make the move.
249
00:14:57,339 --> 00:14:59,273
- Really?
- Really.
250
00:14:59,975 --> 00:15:02,273
Son of a bitch.
251
00:15:02,745 --> 00:15:04,076
This is a little awkward...
252
00:15:04,246 --> 00:15:07,147
...but my manager says
I can't actually give nachos away...
253
00:15:07,316 --> 00:15:10,649
...so just take that when you're ready.
254
00:15:13,122 --> 00:15:14,783
I mean, we had a really great talk.
255
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:16,948
We're gonna start seeing
each other again.
256
00:15:17,126 --> 00:15:18,684
Oh, congratulations.
257
00:15:18,861 --> 00:15:21,193
Have you broken it to the troll yet?
258
00:15:21,363 --> 00:15:25,459
- Did Penny tell you about that?
- No, Steve Patterson told me.
259
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:29,536
The greasy old fat guy
in Facilities Management?
260
00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:31,764
- Yeah.
- How'd he know about it?
261
00:15:32,141 --> 00:15:34,041
He's Glissinda the Troll.
262
00:15:34,777 --> 00:15:36,301
(INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS)
263
00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,946
RAJESH: Sorry, dude.
The thermostat's on my side of the room...
264
00:15:39,114 --> 00:15:42,606
...so it stays Mumbai hot in here until
you turn off that stupid Indian music!
265
00:15:42,785 --> 00:15:46,721
SHELDON: I'll turn off the music when you
get rid of that salmonella-ridden parakeet.
266
00:15:46,889 --> 00:15:49,881
RAJESH: Oh, too bad.
Sheldon's pathologically afraid of birds.
267
00:15:50,092 --> 00:15:53,323
Hey, look, Sheldon.
Birdie, birdie, birdie.
268
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,895
SHELDON:
That's it. Prepare for marshmallow death.
269
00:15:56,098 --> 00:15:57,622
RAJESH:
Eat flaming Nerf!
270
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:01,133
(RAJESH IMITATING MACHINE GUN)
271
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:09,435
So, anyway...
272
00:16:09,912 --> 00:16:11,812
That's great news
about you and Bernadette.
273
00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:14,642
- I'm gonna take her to miniature golf.
- Oh.
274
00:16:14,817 --> 00:16:18,378
I guess, for you guys,
that's like regular golf.
275
00:16:19,154 --> 00:16:22,521
Short jokes? Really? You're like
a quarter of an inch taller than me.
276
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:25,319
Yeah, and don't you forget it.
277
00:16:28,163 --> 00:16:30,996
- I had a good time.
- Me too.
278
00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:33,066
Kiss her good night.
279
00:16:39,174 --> 00:16:43,406
- All right, now a little tongue.
- Hold on there.
280
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,276
We've only just rekindled the romance.
281
00:16:47,449 --> 00:16:52,216
Let's not sully the moment
with the exchange of saliva.
282
00:16:53,155 --> 00:16:56,750
Don't listen to him. She wants it. Tongue.
283
00:16:56,925 --> 00:16:58,483
(BABBLING)
284
00:17:01,096 --> 00:17:02,723
See?
285
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:07,702
- Now make the move.
- Mm-mm. Too soon.
286
00:17:07,870 --> 00:17:10,862
Trust me, she's ready. Make the move.
287
00:17:11,039 --> 00:17:14,805
No, no, no. A lady wants to be wooed...
288
00:17:14,977 --> 00:17:18,538
...courted slowly.
289
00:17:19,114 --> 00:17:21,446
How would you know?
290
00:17:22,217 --> 00:17:24,310
I read.
291
00:17:24,820 --> 00:17:28,813
Listen to me, Howard.
It's time. Make the move, now.
292
00:17:31,860 --> 00:17:32,986
(BERNADETTE GRUNTS)
293
00:17:33,162 --> 00:17:37,565
- What are you doing?
- You said... Well, the move, heh, remember?
294
00:17:37,733 --> 00:17:40,167
Well, not now.
We're starting a new relationship.
295
00:17:40,335 --> 00:17:44,795
- I need to get to know you again.
- No, you don't. It's me.
296
00:17:44,973 --> 00:17:49,706
The lusty charmer with the fancy patter
and the hoochie pants.
297
00:17:50,446 --> 00:17:53,313
Be patient. We'll get there.
298
00:18:00,756 --> 00:18:03,020
Told you.
299
00:18:08,363 --> 00:18:11,355
Oh, God, what is that smell?
300
00:18:13,168 --> 00:18:14,692
Oh, oh, ooh.
301
00:18:15,838 --> 00:18:17,362
SHELDON:
Yes?
302
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,835
- What are you doing in there?
- I'm making hydrogen sulfide...
303
00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:23,272
...and ammonia gas.
304
00:18:23,445 --> 00:18:26,846
Just a little experiment in pest control.
305
00:18:27,449 --> 00:18:29,747
RAJESH: It's not gonna work, dude.
I grew up in India...
306
00:18:29,918 --> 00:18:32,284
...a subcontinent
where cows walk in the street...
307
00:18:32,454 --> 00:18:34,922
...and nobody has ever had
a solid bowel movement.
308
00:18:35,858 --> 00:18:38,190
SHELDON: Well, we'll just see
how long you can hold out.
309
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,419
We'll just see
how your noxious gas fares...
310
00:18:40,596 --> 00:18:45,124
...against my cinnamon-apple-scented
aromatherapy candles.
311
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:47,860
Didn't you say you're making
hydrogen sulfide gas?
312
00:18:48,036 --> 00:18:49,867
- Yes.
- Isn't that flammable?
313
00:18:50,038 --> 00:18:51,903
SHELDON:
Highly.
314
00:18:52,074 --> 00:18:53,939
Oh, dear.
315
00:18:54,109 --> 00:18:55,576
(EXPLOSION)
316
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,345
This is not over.
317
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:05,885
(BIRD CHIRPS)
26903
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