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1
00:00:04,596 --> 00:00:05,927
What you doing there?
2
00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:08,793
Working on a new plan
to catch the roadrunner? Heh, heh.
3
00:00:09,434 --> 00:00:13,302
The humorous implication
being that I am Wile E. Coyote?
4
00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:15,967
Yes.
5
00:00:16,174 --> 00:00:18,642
And this is a schematic
for a bird-trapping device...
6
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:22,507
...that will ultimately backfire
and cause me physical injury?
7
00:00:23,848 --> 00:00:25,577
Yes.
8
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:28,076
(FAKES LAUGH)
9
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:33,919
Okay, what I'm doing here is trying
to determine when I'm going to die.
10
00:00:34,092 --> 00:00:37,323
Mm-hm. A lot of people
are working on that research.
11
00:00:38,530 --> 00:00:39,792
So, what is all this?
12
00:00:39,965 --> 00:00:44,800
My family history factoring in longevity,
propensity for disease, et cetera.
13
00:00:44,970 --> 00:00:46,403
Interesting.
14
00:00:46,604 --> 00:00:48,731
Cause of death for Uncle Carl
was KBB?
15
00:00:48,907 --> 00:00:52,240
- What's KBB?
- Killed by badger.
16
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,502
How's that?
17
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,011
It was Thanksgiving.
18
00:00:57,182 --> 00:01:00,982
Uncle Carl said, "I think there's a badger
living in our chimney.
19
00:01:01,152 --> 00:01:03,211
Hand me that flashlight."
20
00:01:04,923 --> 00:01:07,619
Those were the last words
he ever spoke to us.
21
00:01:08,326 --> 00:01:12,023
I don't think you need to worry
about death by badgers being hereditary.
22
00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:13,322
Not true.
23
00:01:13,498 --> 00:01:16,092
The fight or flight instinct
is coded genetically.
24
00:01:16,267 --> 00:01:20,033
Instead of fleeing,
he chose to fight barehanded...
25
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,867
...against a brawny member
of the weasel family.
26
00:01:23,074 --> 00:01:25,542
Who's to say
that I don't share that flawed DNA?
27
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:28,508
Hmm, we can always get a badger
and find out.
28
00:01:30,348 --> 00:01:31,406
(FAKES LAUGH)
29
00:01:32,751 --> 00:01:36,778
But seriously, even if I disregard
the Uncle Carl factor...
30
00:01:36,955 --> 00:01:39,389
...at best, I have 60 years left.
31
00:01:39,591 --> 00:01:41,024
That long, huh?
32
00:01:41,192 --> 00:01:43,592
Sixty only takes me to here.
33
00:01:43,762 --> 00:01:45,855
I need to get to here.
34
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,292
What's there?
35
00:01:47,465 --> 00:01:50,229
The earliest estimate
of the singularity.
36
00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:53,701
When man will be able to transfer
his consciousness into machines...
37
00:01:53,872 --> 00:01:55,464
...and achieve immortality.
38
00:01:56,274 --> 00:01:58,606
So you're upset about missing out...
39
00:01:58,777 --> 00:02:01,575
...on becoming some sort
of freakish self-aware robot?
40
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:04,442
By this much.
41
00:02:06,451 --> 00:02:07,918
Tough break. You want eggs?
42
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:11,886
You don't get it, Leonard.
I'm going to miss so much.
43
00:02:12,057 --> 00:02:17,222
Unified field theory,
cold fusion, the dogapus.
44
00:02:18,396 --> 00:02:19,420
What's a dogapus?
45
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:22,498
The hybrid dog and octopus.
46
00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:24,395
Man's underwater best friend.
47
00:02:27,072 --> 00:02:29,506
- Is somebody working on that?
- I was going to.
48
00:02:29,707 --> 00:02:33,143
I planned on giving it to myself
on my 300th birthday.
49
00:02:33,845 --> 00:02:35,142
Wait, you hate dogs.
50
00:02:35,346 --> 00:02:38,509
A dogapus
can play fetch with eight balls.
51
00:02:38,716 --> 00:02:39,978
No one can hate that.
52
00:03:07,745 --> 00:03:08,769
What do we owe you?
53
00:03:08,947 --> 00:03:11,507
It came to 28.17.
Let's say six bucks a piece.
54
00:03:12,117 --> 00:03:13,277
Here you go.
55
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,385
Thank you.
56
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:21,053
- What?
- Uh...
57
00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:23,694
- Never mind. I got it.
- Oh, you wanted me to pay.
58
00:03:23,862 --> 00:03:25,295
- It's no big deal.
- Right.
59
00:03:25,463 --> 00:03:28,125
We're not going out anymore,
I should pay for myself.
60
00:03:28,566 --> 00:03:30,557
(BOTH GIGGLE)
61
00:03:31,636 --> 00:03:33,035
What?
62
00:03:33,204 --> 00:03:37,436
He said if he had woman parts,
he'd eat for free the rest of his life.
63
00:03:39,043 --> 00:03:41,170
Yeah, but you wouldn't be able
to talk to yourself.
64
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,576
(LEONARD LAUGHING)
65
00:03:44,315 --> 00:03:45,907
I'm a little low on cash.
66
00:03:46,117 --> 00:03:47,982
- How much you got?
- Nothing.
67
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:50,620
- How can you walk around with no money?
- I'm cute, I get by.
68
00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:54,220
It's okay, you can owe me.
Sheldon, six bucks.
69
00:03:54,459 --> 00:03:57,917
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm not eating pizza tonight.
70
00:03:58,129 --> 00:04:00,120
But it's Thursday.
Thursday's pizza night.
71
00:04:00,298 --> 00:04:01,322
SHELDON:
Not for me.
72
00:04:01,499 --> 00:04:04,900
Thursday is now
cruciferous vegetable night.
73
00:04:05,069 --> 00:04:08,163
Tonight's selection, Brussels sprouts.
74
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:12,139
Really? You're changing
the Sheldonian calendar?
75
00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:14,501
It's a small price to pay.
76
00:04:14,712 --> 00:04:16,179
- For what?
- No, don't ask.
77
00:04:16,347 --> 00:04:17,712
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
78
00:04:17,949 --> 00:04:21,180
To live long enough to fuse
my consciousness with cybernetics...
79
00:04:21,352 --> 00:04:22,683
...I need to change my diet.
80
00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:25,856
- Wait, cybernetics is robot stuff, right?
- Correct.
81
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:28,355
You wanna turn yourself
into some sort of robot?
82
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,551
Essentially, yes.
83
00:04:30,762 --> 00:04:33,322
Okay, here's my question:
Didn't you already do that?
84
00:04:33,498 --> 00:04:36,058
LEONARD:
Heh, heh, heh.
85
00:04:36,467 --> 00:04:38,332
Flattering, but sadly, no.
86
00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:41,602
I'm also planning
to begin an exercise regimen...
87
00:04:41,773 --> 00:04:45,732
...designed to strengthen my
cardiovascular system, a.k.a., jogging.
88
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:48,003
Wait, honey,
have you ever run before?
89
00:04:48,213 --> 00:04:53,344
Certainly. I've run from bullies,
dogs, angry chickens...
90
00:04:54,052 --> 00:04:56,782
...and one particularly persistent
PE teacher...
91
00:04:56,988 --> 00:05:00,219
...determined to bend me over
and give me a scoliosis test.
92
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,452
(WHISPERS INAUDIBLY)
93
00:05:04,629 --> 00:05:05,960
You're right. Penny jogs.
94
00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:09,258
- Maybe you guys can run together.
- That's an excellent idea.
95
00:05:11,302 --> 00:05:12,701
Yeah, if we chat...
96
00:05:12,870 --> 00:05:15,395
...it will create the illusion
of time going faster.
97
00:05:16,007 --> 00:05:17,235
No, it won't.
98
00:05:18,176 --> 00:05:20,701
Um, hey, how does he know I jog?
99
00:05:20,912 --> 00:05:24,609
Oh, he watches you from his car
with high-powered binoculars.
100
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:26,743
Oh, my God, that is so creepy.
101
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,885
I know.
102
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,786
(WHISPERS INAUDIBLY)
103
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:34,015
And he says he's not gonna stop.
104
00:05:35,526 --> 00:05:36,618
(WHISPERS INAUDIBLY)
105
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:40,423
Yeah, well, then see a shrink
and figure out how to talk to women.
106
00:05:43,501 --> 00:05:44,525
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
107
00:05:44,702 --> 00:05:45,896
(SHELDON GROANS)
108
00:05:46,070 --> 00:05:47,230
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
109
00:05:48,706 --> 00:05:49,695
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
110
00:05:49,874 --> 00:05:51,569
(SHELDON GROANING)
111
00:05:52,543 --> 00:05:54,443
What the hell?
112
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:58,407
What's the matter?
113
00:05:58,583 --> 00:06:03,111
I have pain radiating from my navel
to my lower right abdomen.
114
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,186
I'm nauseated and feverish.
115
00:06:05,757 --> 00:06:08,123
I believe I may have cholera.
116
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,351
There's no cholera in Pasadena.
117
00:06:10,561 --> 00:06:13,496
Just like last summer
when there was no malaria in Pasadena.
118
00:06:13,698 --> 00:06:17,190
Well, if it's not cholera,
then based on a quick Internet search...
119
00:06:17,368 --> 00:06:20,633
...the other explanations
in decreasing order of likelihood...
120
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:24,467
...are Hirschsprung's disease,
botulism, a 30-foot tapeworm...
121
00:06:24,642 --> 00:06:28,442
...or accidental ingestion
of chrysanthemum blossoms.
122
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,275
When would you have accidentally eaten
chrysanthemum blossoms?
123
00:06:32,483 --> 00:06:35,475
It's part of an unlikely scenario
that involves sleepwalking...
124
00:06:35,653 --> 00:06:39,020
...in a 24-hour flower mart
with a less than vigilant proprietor.
125
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,215
Oh, Lord, my belly.
126
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,024
Ever had your appendix out?
127
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:46,789
I haven't. I've been meaning to,
but who has the time?
128
00:06:47,665 --> 00:06:49,394
Let's get you to the hospital.
129
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,534
So this is how it ends.
130
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,068
(GROANING)
131
00:06:53,237 --> 00:06:54,898
With cruel irony.
132
00:06:55,106 --> 00:06:57,666
Just as I make the commitment
to preserving my body...
133
00:06:57,842 --> 00:07:01,471
...I am betrayed by my appendix,
a vestigial organ.
134
00:07:01,979 --> 00:07:04,971
Do you know the original purpose
of the appendix, Leonard?
135
00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,741
- No.
- I do.
136
00:07:06,918 --> 00:07:09,751
And yet I'm doomed while you live on.
137
00:07:12,023 --> 00:07:13,752
Funny how things work out, isn't it?
138
00:07:13,925 --> 00:07:17,520
SHELDON:
Oh, Lord, I think it's about to burst.
139
00:07:17,962 --> 00:07:20,760
(SHELDON FARTS)
140
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:25,434
On the other hand,
it might have been the Brussels sprouts.
141
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:30,036
- Good night.
- Good night.
142
00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:31,232
(DOOR CLOSES)
143
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:34,640
Appendicitis. What a nervous Nelly.
144
00:07:37,882 --> 00:07:40,851
Penny. Penny. Penny.
145
00:07:41,018 --> 00:07:43,748
PENNY:
Coming, coming.
146
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,718
Hey, nice knees.
147
00:07:45,890 --> 00:07:48,950
- Thank you. They're my mother's.
- Oh.
148
00:07:49,694 --> 00:07:52,663
And the Flash shirt is what?
Because you're gonna run fast?
149
00:07:52,864 --> 00:07:55,128
No.
The Flash shirt is because it's Friday.
150
00:07:55,299 --> 00:07:58,029
But it's nice when things work out.
151
00:07:58,202 --> 00:07:59,931
- Heart rate monitor?
- Don't have one.
152
00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:01,799
- Your pedometer?
- Don't have one.
153
00:08:02,039 --> 00:08:04,872
- Telematics connected to an iPod?
- Uh, nope.
154
00:08:05,076 --> 00:08:06,100
What do you do?
155
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,576
You just go out there
and gambol about like a bunny?
156
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:13,683
No, I just run till I'm hungry
and then I stop for a bear claw.
157
00:08:17,922 --> 00:08:21,585
- Why are you doing that?
- It's good to stretch before you run.
158
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:22,817
All right.
159
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:25,028
Let's start with a toe touch.
160
00:08:31,702 --> 00:08:33,829
Okay, you do it.
161
00:08:34,238 --> 00:08:36,263
I am doing it.
162
00:08:37,341 --> 00:08:38,831
Oh, wow. Good job.
163
00:08:39,010 --> 00:08:42,207
Okay, um, can you do this?
164
00:08:43,614 --> 00:08:45,479
We'll never know.
165
00:08:45,716 --> 00:08:47,775
Okay, let's just, uh, warm up on the run.
166
00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,009
- Okay.
- Okay, let's go.
167
00:08:49,220 --> 00:08:51,518
Yeah,
I've been reading up on biomechanics.
168
00:08:51,722 --> 00:08:53,280
I think you'll be surprised at my...
169
00:08:53,458 --> 00:08:54,823
(SHELDON & PENNY SCREAMING)
170
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,482
(THUMPING WHILE FALLING)
171
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,788
PENNY: Oh, my God, are you okay?
SHELDON: I think so.
172
00:08:58,963 --> 00:09:01,090
PENNY: Oh, let me help you up.
SHELDON: Thank you.
173
00:09:01,265 --> 00:09:02,664
(SHELDON FARTS)
174
00:09:03,634 --> 00:09:06,364
PENNY:
Oh, Sheldon.
175
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,332
SHELDON:
If it makes you feel any better...
176
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,373
...Thursday is no longer
cruciferous vegetable night.
177
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:15,111
Here's my chicken curry.
178
00:09:15,279 --> 00:09:17,440
- Howard, your shrimp biryani.
- Thank you, sir.
179
00:09:17,615 --> 00:09:19,640
- Palak paneer, that's Penny.
- Thanks.
180
00:09:19,817 --> 00:09:21,478
And for Rajesh Koothrappali...
181
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,654
...from whose homeland
these originate...
182
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,823
...one large order
of Chicken McNuggets.
183
00:09:28,793 --> 00:09:31,455
- Hey, what's my share?
- Uh, twelve bucks.
184
00:09:31,662 --> 00:09:33,892
- Can I get you after Friday?
- Sure.
185
00:09:34,131 --> 00:09:35,655
What am I up to now?
186
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:38,335
Well, okay, uh,
with the Indian food, the pizza...
187
00:09:38,503 --> 00:09:42,564
...the Thai food, the tank of gas,
the frozen yogurt and your rent...
188
00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:44,173
...uh...
189
00:09:44,342 --> 00:09:46,674
...a little over $1400.
190
00:09:48,145 --> 00:09:50,113
(BOTH GIGGLE)
191
00:09:50,281 --> 00:09:53,341
- What now?
- He's just expressing his admiration.
192
00:09:53,518 --> 00:09:55,543
You don't even have to put out
to get free stuff.
193
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:56,744
(BOTH GIGGLING)
194
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,617
It's not free. I'm gonna pay him back.
195
00:10:02,793 --> 00:10:03,885
(BOTH GIGGLE)
196
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:06,359
Shut up!
197
00:10:07,665 --> 00:10:09,326
Sheldon, are you gonna join us?
198
00:10:09,534 --> 00:10:11,229
SHELDON:
Coming.
199
00:10:25,516 --> 00:10:27,541
Greetings, friends.
200
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,550
Greetings, whatever the hell you are.
201
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,952
I am a mobile virtual presence device.
202
00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:36,783
Recent events
have demonstrated to me...
203
00:10:36,961 --> 00:10:41,523
...that my body is too fragile
to endure the vicissitudes of the world.
204
00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:45,632
Until such time as I am able
to transfer my consciousness...
205
00:10:45,836 --> 00:10:49,567
...I shall remain in a secure location
and interact with the world...
206
00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,401
...in this manner.
207
00:10:51,642 --> 00:10:52,666
(WHISPERS INAUDIBLY)
208
00:10:52,843 --> 00:10:56,142
Really? That's your question?
When did he put a ramp in?
209
00:11:02,553 --> 00:11:04,418
You're in my spot.
210
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:20,562
This may seem a little odd at first...
211
00:11:20,771 --> 00:11:22,898
...but over time,
you'll grow accustomed...
212
00:11:23,074 --> 00:11:26,441
...to dealing with me
in this configuration.
213
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:29,306
Yeah, to be honest,
I don't see much difference.
214
00:11:29,513 --> 00:11:32,573
Thank you.
That's what I was going for.
215
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:37,454
Now, Leonard,
tomorrow when we go to work...
216
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:41,182
...you'll need to allow some extra time
to get me down the stairs.
217
00:11:41,425 --> 00:11:45,828
For your convenience,
I disassemble into four pieces.
218
00:11:46,030 --> 00:11:48,157
This is ridiculous.
I'm coming to talk to you.
219
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:50,266
You don't know where I am.
220
00:11:51,435 --> 00:11:54,165
My physical body
is safely ensconced...
221
00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:57,102
...in a secure, undisclosed location.
222
00:11:57,608 --> 00:11:58,700
You're in your bedroom.
223
00:11:58,943 --> 00:12:00,410
No, I'm not.
224
00:12:00,611 --> 00:12:03,478
I can hear your voice
coming from your bedroom.
225
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:06,809
No, you can't.
226
00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:11,620
Wait. Come back.
227
00:12:11,789 --> 00:12:12,813
Halt.
228
00:12:12,990 --> 00:12:15,857
Authorized personnel only.
229
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:21,726
So either one of you weirdoes wanna
buy my underwear? Only 1400 bucks.
230
00:12:21,899 --> 00:12:24,231
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
231
00:12:26,804 --> 00:12:28,396
Sheldon, this is ridiculous.
232
00:12:28,572 --> 00:12:30,062
I'm behind you.
233
00:12:30,241 --> 00:12:33,142
Please look at me
when you're talking to me.
234
00:12:33,644 --> 00:12:35,009
I am looking at you.
235
00:12:35,179 --> 00:12:38,979
No, you're not.
Pay no attention to that man in the bed.
236
00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:41,380
You cannot exist
as a virtual presence.
237
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,213
Not here and certainly not at work.
238
00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:45,218
Oh, good God.
239
00:12:45,456 --> 00:12:49,586
At my age, do you know
how I'm statistically most likely to die?
240
00:12:49,827 --> 00:12:51,852
At the hands of your roommate?
241
00:12:52,329 --> 00:12:53,489
An accident.
242
00:12:53,698 --> 00:12:55,893
Well,
that's how I'm gonna make it look.
243
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:59,399
Until I can transfer my intellect
to a more durable container...
244
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,562
...my body will remain safely ensconced
in my bed.
245
00:13:02,773 --> 00:13:04,707
Fine, but don't expect my help.
246
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:07,241
You have to help.
It's in the roommate agreement.
247
00:13:07,478 --> 00:13:08,570
No, it's not.
248
00:13:11,182 --> 00:13:13,446
Section 74-C.
249
00:13:13,617 --> 00:13:16,450
The various obligations and duties
of the parties...
250
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:19,054
...in the event
one of them becomes a robot.
251
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,589
I'll be damned.
252
00:13:33,637 --> 00:13:36,970
- This is delightful.
- Uh-huh.
253
00:13:37,875 --> 00:13:41,367
It's much easier to enjoy
the picturesque route we travel to work...
254
00:13:41,545 --> 00:13:44,571
...when you remove the specter
of fiery vehicular death.
255
00:13:45,049 --> 00:13:48,507
Refresh my memory.
Why didn't I just put you in the trunk?
256
00:13:48,719 --> 00:13:51,415
Because I called shotgun, remember?
257
00:13:51,922 --> 00:13:53,913
Right.
258
00:13:58,162 --> 00:14:00,630
You seem tense.
259
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:03,194
Perhaps this will relax you.
260
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:06,234
(FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING ON SCREEN)
261
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,167
I don't wanna listen to music,
Sheldon.
262
00:14:14,345 --> 00:14:15,903
(FLUTE MUSIC STOPS)
263
00:14:16,847 --> 00:14:17,905
Very well.
264
00:14:18,916 --> 00:14:21,851
I don't understand
why you're not enjoying this.
265
00:14:22,019 --> 00:14:25,921
Together in this car
with my enhanced capabilities...
266
00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:28,684
...we're like Knight Rider.
267
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,493
Except in Knight Rider,
the car isn't a yammering sphincter.
268
00:14:33,964 --> 00:14:38,162
You mock the sphincter,
but the sphincter is a class of muscle...
269
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:41,998
...without which human beings
couldn't survive.
270
00:14:44,208 --> 00:14:47,939
There are over 50 different sphincters
in the human body.
271
00:14:48,112 --> 00:14:50,080
How many can you name?
272
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:54,515
I was wrong.
This is exactly like Knight Rider.
273
00:14:54,952 --> 00:14:57,443
Perhaps you'd be interested
in a different game.
274
00:14:57,621 --> 00:14:58,645
No.
275
00:14:58,823 --> 00:15:01,883
This is a photograph
of the 1911 Solvay Conference...
276
00:15:02,092 --> 00:15:04,526
...on the theory
of radiation and quanta.
277
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:08,290
Using Photoshop,
I've introduced a few anachronisms.
278
00:15:08,465 --> 00:15:10,592
See if you can spot all 24.
279
00:15:10,801 --> 00:15:12,132
I'll give you the first one.
280
00:15:12,603 --> 00:15:16,801
Madame Curie should not be wearing
a digital watch.
281
00:15:16,974 --> 00:15:18,532
And go.
282
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,267
(FLUTE PLAYING "JEOPARDY THEME"
ON SCREEN)
283
00:15:20,911 --> 00:15:22,173
That's it. Bye-bye.
284
00:15:22,346 --> 00:15:23,711
(FLUTE MUSIC STOPS)
285
00:15:25,916 --> 00:15:27,247
Bazinga!
286
00:15:27,418 --> 00:15:28,908
(TIRES SCREECH
AND HORN HONKING)
287
00:15:29,086 --> 00:15:31,179
I have an override switch.
288
00:15:31,655 --> 00:15:32,747
I almost died.
289
00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:37,518
Yeah, and I'm safe and sound in bed.
Who's crazy now?
290
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:40,322
I'm still gonna go with you.
291
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,603
Hello, Professor Hoskins.
292
00:15:48,772 --> 00:15:51,206
Nice to see you, Mindy.
293
00:15:51,375 --> 00:15:54,071
Konnichiwa, Dr. Nakamora.
294
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:57,737
Sorry, the Swedes
disproved your theory.
295
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,382
Leonard, my door.
296
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:07,648
What about it?
297
00:16:07,858 --> 00:16:10,383
Be a lamb and open it for me.
298
00:16:10,895 --> 00:16:12,226
Why? What's the problem?
299
00:16:18,569 --> 00:16:21,231
You think you have me stymied,
don't you?
300
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:24,532
No, I think a doorknob
has you stymied.
301
00:16:26,210 --> 00:16:29,145
Oh, look, it's Leonard and R2-D-Bag.
302
00:16:29,313 --> 00:16:31,144
(LAUGHS)
303
00:16:31,315 --> 00:16:34,807
That's my joke, I told it last night.
You can't just use it.
304
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:38,414
Raj, be a lamb
and open the door for me.
305
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,214
Oh, sure.
306
00:16:43,494 --> 00:16:46,429
He's a lamb, you're not.
307
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,058
I'm a lamb.
308
00:16:54,238 --> 00:16:55,762
Isn't this nice?
309
00:16:55,940 --> 00:16:58,602
The pleasures of fellowship
and camaraderie...
310
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:02,768
...without having to tolerate
your germy breath on my skin.
311
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:06,780
I say we just take him to Tatooine
and sell him to some Jawas, heh.
312
00:17:07,618 --> 00:17:10,018
That's two, dude.
Write your own jokes.
313
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:12,644
(SIGHS)
314
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,290
Oh, great.
315
00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:18,617
- Hi, I'm Penny. I'll be your waitress.
- Why are you introducing yourself?
316
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:23,232
I'd rather people not know I have any
prior connection to you whatsoever.
317
00:17:23,434 --> 00:17:25,459
Can you tell me the specials
this evening?
318
00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:27,830
- Sheldon, I'm not waiting on you.
- Obviously.
319
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,166
I don't even have water yet.
320
00:17:30,374 --> 00:17:31,807
Because you're not here.
321
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:35,035
That's discrimination
against the otherwise located.
322
00:17:36,547 --> 00:17:39,175
I'm going to have to go
over your head.
323
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:42,015
Manager?
324
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,051
Manager?
325
00:17:44,254 --> 00:17:47,519
Oh, Lord, look who it is.
326
00:17:48,792 --> 00:17:51,761
- Is that Steve Wozniak?
- I think it is.
327
00:17:51,962 --> 00:17:54,328
The great and powerful Woz.
328
00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:58,695
Penny, Steve Wozniak was one
of the co-founders of Apple computer.
329
00:17:58,869 --> 00:17:59,995
He and Steve Jobs...
330
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,900
Yeah, I know who he is.
I watch Dancing With the Stars.
331
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,171
I must speak to him.
332
00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,400
Of course you must.
333
00:18:09,313 --> 00:18:13,579
There's an Olive Garden down the street.
You guys should try it sometime.
334
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:17,217
Excuse me, Mr. Wozniak?
335
00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,879
Oh, hey. Nice virtual presence device.
336
00:18:20,090 --> 00:18:23,526
Thank you.
I just wanna say I'm a big fan.
337
00:18:23,694 --> 00:18:27,357
You're my 15th favorite
technological visionary.
338
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:29,031
Only 15th?
339
00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:32,430
It's still six spots above Steve Jobs.
340
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:36,900
I care neither for turtlenecks
nor showmanship.
341
00:18:37,107 --> 00:18:40,201
Yeah,
I never got that turtleneck thing.
342
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:45,041
One of my proudest possessions
is a vintage 1977 Apple II.
343
00:18:45,215 --> 00:18:48,582
Despite the file system limitations
of Apple DOS 3.3...
344
00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:51,084
...it was a pretty nifty
little achievement.
345
00:18:51,321 --> 00:18:53,084
Thanks, we were shooting for nifty.
346
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,557
You know, if you had it here,
I'd autograph it for you.
347
00:18:58,128 --> 00:18:59,959
Don't move for 15 to 30 minutes...
348
00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:02,826
...depending on how the busses
are running.
349
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,865
Nerds.
350
00:19:08,739 --> 00:19:10,070
(SHELDON PANTING)
351
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,606
SHELDON:
I'm coming, Woz. I'm coming.
352
00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:13,834
Ah!
353
00:19:14,011 --> 00:19:15,239
(THUMPING WHILE FALLING)
354
00:19:15,412 --> 00:19:16,777
(COMPUTER CRASHES)
355
00:19:17,981 --> 00:19:20,108
Aw.
356
00:19:32,563 --> 00:19:33,894
SHELDON:
Penny.
357
00:19:34,064 --> 00:19:35,691
Penny.
358
00:19:35,866 --> 00:19:37,231
Penny.
359
00:19:39,503 --> 00:19:41,403
What up, Shel-Bot?
360
00:19:41,605 --> 00:19:44,597
I can't get out of bed. I hurt my ankle.
361
00:19:44,842 --> 00:19:46,366
Well, what do you want me to do?
362
00:19:46,543 --> 00:19:48,670
Sing me "Soft Kitty."
363
00:19:50,013 --> 00:19:53,005
Really? You want me to sing "Soft Kitty"
to a computer monitor?
364
00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:55,848
Would you rather come
sing it to me in person?
365
00:19:56,053 --> 00:19:59,181
(SINGING)
Soft kitty, warm kitty
366
00:19:59,356 --> 00:20:01,916
Little ball of fur
367
00:20:02,126 --> 00:20:03,593
Closer to the microphone.
368
00:20:05,229 --> 00:20:06,890
Happy kitty, sleepy...
369
00:20:07,064 --> 00:20:08,895
No.
370
00:20:09,066 --> 00:20:11,364
You have to start over.
371
00:20:12,736 --> 00:20:15,603
Softy kitty, warm kitty
372
00:20:15,772 --> 00:20:16,796
(PLAYING FLUTE)
373
00:20:16,974 --> 00:20:18,771
Little ball of fur
374
00:20:18,942 --> 00:20:22,378
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty
375
00:20:22,546 --> 00:20:25,140
Purr, purr, purr
29424
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