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1
00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:04,420
So, what you're eating
is not technically yogurt.
2
00:00:04,587 --> 00:00:06,839
It doesn't have enough
live acidophilus cultures.
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,259
It's really just ice milk
with carrageenan added for thickness.
4
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:15,264
- Well, that's very interesting.
- It's also not pink and has no berries.
5
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,934
Yeah, but it doesn't really
answer my question.
6
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:21,729
- What was your question again?
- Do you want some?
7
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,397
Ah.
8
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,983
- Right. No. I'm lactose intolerant.
- Right.
9
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,277
- So gas.
- Yeah, got it.
10
00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:31,947
Well, good night.
11
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:49,631
- What are you doing?
- There was a draft.
12
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,592
PENNY:
I didn't feel a draft.
13
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,680
- Why don't we just go into your...?
- Oh, yeah.
14
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,766
Maybe we should
slow things down a little.
15
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:01,477
No, I didn't mean
to go into your apartment to go fast.
16
00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:03,270
No, I know.
17
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:06,607
I know what you meant.
It's just this is only our first date.
18
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:07,816
Okay. Sure. No problem.
19
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:10,277
Why don't we just figure out
where we're going...
20
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,571
...and when we want to get there?
21
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:16,617
And then rate of speed
equals distance over time.
22
00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:20,454
Solve for R.
23
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:23,123
Or we could just wing it.
24
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,126
That might work too.
25
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,837
- Good night, Leonard.
- Good night.
26
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,761
He's coming. Screen saver.
27
00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,392
Oh, hey, Leonard.
28
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,187
- How was your date?
- Bite me.
29
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:50,859
Sheldon, how could you just sit there
and let them spy on me?
30
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,069
They were clever.
31
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:55,614
They exploited my complete lack of interest
in what you were doing.
32
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,910
You should thank us.
When future generations try to determine...
33
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:02,704
...why your relationship with Penny
crashed and burned...
34
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,833
...this right here is the black box.
35
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,794
What are you talking about?
The date went fine.
36
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,796
She said she wants to slow things down.
37
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,715
Okay, so she said
she wants to slow things down.
38
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:17,719
It's like saying,
"I'm really enjoying this meal.
39
00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:20,722
I'm going to slow down and savor it."
40
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:24,393
No, it's like, "This fish tastes bad...
41
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,063
...so I'm gonna slow down
and spit it out."
42
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:32,067
- You being the fish.
- I'm not the fish.
43
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,027
Oh, really?
Did you make a second date?
44
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:39,324
- Well, no. We sort of decided to wing it.
- Oh, even I know that's lame.
45
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,327
Okay. All right.
Let's assume your hypothesis.
46
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:46,039
We went to dinner, we talked,
we laughed, we kissed.
47
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:47,583
Where could I have gone wrong?
48
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:50,919
Think back, Leonard.
The littlest things can set women off.
49
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:55,174
Like, "Hey, the waitress is hot. I bet
we could get her to come home with us."
50
00:02:56,050 --> 00:03:00,095
Or, "How much does your mom weigh?
I wanna know what I'm getting into."
51
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:03,682
- I didn't say anything like that.
- Good, because they don't work.
52
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:07,311
They don't care for it
if you stare at them and hyperventilate.
53
00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,855
Sadly, that's my home-run swing.
54
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:12,524
Look, everything went fine.
55
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:16,737
I didn't even have to refer
to my impromptu conversation starters.
56
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:19,239
That woman across the hall is into me.
57
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,450
Let's go to the tape.
58
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,537
Look at her reaction
to the good-night kiss.
59
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:30,083
No change in respiration, pupils undilated,
no flushing of the chest.
60
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,294
Nice close-up, by the way.
61
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,756
Interesting. Her jaws are clenched.
No tongue access.
62
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:39,259
Clearly a bad sign
amongst mating humans.
63
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,470
That's not a bad sign.
64
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:45,224
Please. You might as well have been
two iguana with no dewlap enlargement.
65
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,644
And the worst sign of all
is you're here and not there.
66
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:52,314
I'm not there,
because I'm taking things slow.
67
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:55,943
Which, by the way, compared to you guys,
approaches warp speed.
68
00:03:57,153 --> 00:04:00,155
And take down that camera.
69
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,660
He was a lot more fun
when he had no hope.
70
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,289
Give him time.
71
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:44,491
- Hi.
- Oh, hi, Penny.
72
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:48,537
Yeah, FYI, the hot water is inadequate
on Machine 2, so colors only.
73
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,748
Four is still releasing the fabric softener
too early in the cycle.
74
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:55,252
- So I'd avoid using that for your delicates.
- Thanks.
75
00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,214
Well, good Lord.
76
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:03,135
Why don't you just take your clothes down
to the river and beat them with a rock?
77
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,475
Sheldon, may I ask you a question?
78
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:14,604
I would prefer that you not,
but I won't go so far as to forbid it.
79
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,441
All right, I heard "yes," so...
80
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:19,901
Okay, here's my question:
81
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:25,073
Has Leonard ever dated,
you know, a regular girl?
82
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:29,619
Well, I assume you're not referring
to digestive regularity.
83
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:34,166
Because I've come to learn
that such inquiries are inappropriate.
84
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:39,880
No, I meant has he ever been involved
with someone who wasn't a brainiac?
85
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,257
Oh! Well, a few years ago...
86
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:46,470
...he did go out with a woman
who had a Ph.D. in French literature.
87
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:51,975
- How is that not a brainiac?
- Well, for one thing, she was French.
88
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:56,605
For another, it was literature.
89
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,029
So...
90
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,616
Do you think that if Leonard
and I keep dating...
91
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:10,202
...he'll eventually get bored with me?
92
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,168
- That depends.
- On what?
93
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,254
Do you have a working knowledge
of quantum physics?
94
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:22,672
No.
95
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,841
Do you speak Klingon?
96
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,426
No.
97
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,304
- You know any card tricks?
- Okay.
98
00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:35,685
I get it. Leonard has no business
being involved with a waitress/actress...
99
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:40,399
...who felt so insecure, that she lied to him
about finishing community college.
100
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,109
Why would you lie about that?
101
00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:45,028
He was going on about this college
and that grad school...
102
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:48,698
...and I didn't want him to think
I was some kind of stupid loser.
103
00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:53,036
You thought the opposite of "stupid loser"
was "community-college graduate"?
104
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,460
There are a lot of successful people
in this country...
105
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:02,462
...who are community-college graduates.
106
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,840
Yeah, but you are neither.
107
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:09,052
Right. Okay, look,
this is between you and me.
108
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:12,347
You cannot tell Leonard any of this.
109
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:16,393
- You're asking me to keep a secret?
- Yeah.
110
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,727
Well, I'm sorry.
111
00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:21,148
You would've had to express that desire
before revealing the secret...
112
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:25,277
...so that I could choose whether I wanted
to accept the covenant of secret-keeping.
113
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:29,531
You can't impose a secret
on an ex post facto basis.
114
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,325
What?
115
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:35,787
Secret-keeping is a complicated endeavor.
One has to be concerned...
116
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:40,125
...not only about what one says, but about
facial expressions, autonomic reflexes.
117
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,877
When I try to deceive...
118
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:46,715
...I myself have more nervous tics
than a Lyme disease research facility.
119
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,054
It's a joke.
120
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:57,017
It relies on the homonymic relationship
between tick, the bloodsucking arachnid...
121
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,644
...and tic, the involuntary
muscular contraction.
122
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,229
[CHUCKLES]
123
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,442
I made it up myself.
124
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:13,283
Okay, look, if Leonard finds out that I lied,
I will absolutely die of embarrassment.
125
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,453
- Physiologically impossible.
- Oh, Sheldon, please.
126
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,622
Look, I'm asking you as a friend.
127
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,334
You're saying that friendship
contains within it...
128
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,086
...an inherent obligation
to maintain confidences?
129
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,673
- Well, yeah.
- Interesting.
130
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,635
One more question.
Perhaps I should've led with this:
131
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,887
When did we become friends?
132
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,099
I.e., I couldn't become Green Lantern...
133
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,268
...unless I was chosen
by the Guardians of Oa.
134
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:43,438
Given enough startup capital
and an adequate research facility...
135
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,607
...I could be Batman.
136
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,321
- You could be Batman?
- Sure.
137
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:52,572
[IN DEEP VOICE]
I'm Batman.
138
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:53,782
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
See?
139
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,244
- Hi, guys.
- Hey.
140
00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:58,995
- Hi, Penny.
- Hey.
141
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,750
If you're not doing anything Friday night,
I thought we could go see a movie.
142
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,586
You know, I think I have the dinner shift
on Friday.
143
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:09,464
- Okay. What about Saturday?
- You know, I'm not sure.
144
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,634
The manager hasn't posted the schedule.
How about I let you know?
145
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:13,802
- Great.
- Okay.
146
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:19,599
So you just let me know when you know.
Okay, so... Oh, God, I am the bad fish.
147
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,437
- What did I do wrong?
- Why are you asking me?
148
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:28,191
I have no information
about your interactions with Penny...
149
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:31,319
...nor do I have any method
of learning such things.
150
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,574
LEONARD: What does that mean?
- Nothing.
151
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,952
You seem to be implying a back channel
between me and Penny...
152
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,830
- ...where, obviously, none exists.
- No, I didn't.
153
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:45,250
I just think you need to be careful
how you phrase things, sir.
154
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:51,131
- What's going on with you?
- Well, I might ask you the same question.
155
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:55,176
Why do you drag me into matters
which have nothing to do with me...
156
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:59,180
...but exist between you and Penny,
a person to whom I barely speak?
157
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,232
What's wrong with your face?
158
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,569
There's no reason
to bring my looks into this.
159
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:16,364
- Good day, Leonard.
- What?
160
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,825
I said, good day.
161
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,496
Good day?
162
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,542
Also today we have
a fresh-caught Alaska salmon...
163
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,919
...served with a teriyaki glaze
and sticky rice.
164
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,922
- Our soup of the day...
- You must release me from my oath.
165
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,595
Sheldon, I'm working.
166
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,764
Why don't you take a minute to decide?
167
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,392
I can't keep your secret, Penny.
168
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:49,105
I'm going to fold like an energy-based
de novo protein in conformational space.
169
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,483
Like a Renaissance triptych.
170
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,361
Like a cheap suit.
171
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,697
Look, why is it so hard
for you to keep one little secret?
172
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,407
I'm constitutionally incapable.
173
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:03,203
That's why I was refused clearance
for a government research fellowship...
174
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:06,873
...at a secret military supercollider
beneath a fake agricultural station...
175
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,335
...12.5 miles southeast
of Traverse City, Michigan.
176
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:18,093
Which you did not hear about from me.
177
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:21,471
Look, just forget I told you about me...
178
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,765
...not graduating
from community college, okay?
179
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:27,936
Forget? You want me to forget?
This mind does not forget.
180
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:31,856
I haven't forgotten a thing since the day
my mother stopped breastfeeding me.
181
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:34,776
- It was a drizzly Tuesday.
- Okay.
182
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,238
You promised me
you would keep my secret...
183
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:41,116
...so you are just gonna have to
figure out a way to do it.
184
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,661
Leonard, I'm moving out.
185
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,999
What do you mean
you're moving out? Why?
186
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,627
There doesn't have to be a reason.
187
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:56,840
- Yeah, there kind of does.
- Not necessarily.
188
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:59,884
This is a classic example
of Münchausen's trilemma.
189
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:04,013
Either the reason is predicated on a series
of sub-reasons leading to regression...
190
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:07,809
...or it tracks back to axiomatic statements,
or it's ultimately circular...
191
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,146
...i. e., I'm moving out
because I'm moving out.
192
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,441
I'm still confused.
193
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:17,694
Leonard, I don't see
how I could've made it any simpler.
194
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:21,364
Hey, qu'est-ce que c'up?
195
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,410
We just got back from that exhibit
of those plasticized cadavers.
196
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,705
Some of those skinless chicks were hot.
197
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,751
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to pack.
198
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:37,839
That's kind of an overreaction
to a little harmless necrophilia.
199
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,177
It's not you, Howard.
He says he's moving out.
200
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,304
What did you do?
201
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:47,849
Did you change the contrast
or brightness settings on the television?
202
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,642
- No.
- Did you take a Band-Aid off...
203
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,603
...in front of him?
204
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,688
- No.
- Did you buy generic ketchup?
205
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:57,317
Forget to rinse the sink?
Talk to him through the bathroom door?
206
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:02,405
Adjust the thermostat? Cook with cilantro?
Pronounce the T in "often"?
207
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,074
No.
208
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,703
Did you make fun of trains?
209
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:13,917
I didn't do anything.
He's just gone insane.
210
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:16,002
Well, we all knew this day was coming.
211
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,631
That was fast.
212
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,801
It's my pre-packed
disaster evacuation bag.
213
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:27,055
It's recommended by
the Department of Homeland Security.
214
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,224
And Sarah Connor.
215
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:31,726
Where are you gonna live?
216
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:35,063
Until I find a permanent place,
I will stay with friends.
217
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,314
Bye.
218
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:43,154
Well... But you can't stay with me.
I have a teeny-tiny apartment.
219
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:47,617
Excuse me, but isn't hosting guests
an aspect of manushya yajna...
220
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:52,622
...one of the five central religious duties
or sacrifices of the Hindu householder?
221
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,461
I hate trains.
222
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,135
Don't be ridiculous. You love trains.
223
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:08,888
Yes, I do. Come on.
224
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,685
See you later, Leonard.
225
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,818
This could work.
226
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,701
[INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING
ON TELEVISION]
227
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:35,748
- This is a very old building.
- Sixty years. Used to be a watch factory.
228
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:38,334
- Uh-oh.
- What?
229
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:42,547
Don't you worry about the residual radium
from the luminous dials?
230
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:45,300
Not until now.
231
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,012
I can't believe
I didn't bring my Geiger counter.
232
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:52,265
Yeah, I had it on my bed,
and I didn't pack it.
233
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:56,477
- If you're not comfortable staying here...
- I'm kidding. I packed it.
234
00:14:57,354 --> 00:15:01,190
It was a joke. Yeah, I was subverting
the conversational expectations.
235
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:05,445
I believe they call that
the old switcheroo.
236
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,989
Terrific.
237
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:15,246
- Is that woman Aishwarya Rai?
- Yes. Isn't she an amazing actress?
238
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:18,833
Actually, I'd say
she's a poor man's Madhuri Dixit.
239
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,044
How dare you?
240
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,254
Aishwarya Rai is a goddess.
241
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:28,051
By comparison, Madhuri Dixit
is a leprous prostitute.
242
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,346
Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
243
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:36,559
Obviously, you're not that familiar
with Indian cinema.
244
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:43,191
[DOORBELL RINGS]
245
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,235
Who is it?
246
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:48,613
RAJESH [IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]:
Stripper-gram.
247
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:54,577
Tag. You're it.
248
00:15:55,371 --> 00:16:00,083
Shouldn't you have put him
in a brown paper bag and set him on fire?
249
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:05,505
I've never slept on an air mattress before.
250
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,758
No lumbar support whatsoever.
251
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:13,096
Maybe you'd be happier on a park bench.
252
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:16,432
I don't see any way
to get a park bench in here.
253
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,852
- Do you wanna switch?
- No. That's fine.
254
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:23,439
I'm perfectly comfortable
sleeping on a bouncy castle.
255
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:28,611
- Get out of bed. We're switching.
- Now, only if you want to.
256
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,405
Just get in the bed.
257
00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:36,035
MRS. WOLOWITZ: What's going on?
Are you boys roughhousing?
258
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:39,038
We're just talking, Ma.
259
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,249
If you don't settle down right now...
260
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:45,878
...I'm not gonna let you
have any more sleepovers.
261
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:50,049
For God's sake, Ma, I'm 27 years old.
262
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,427
And it's not even a school night!
263
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,600
- Comfy now?
- Eh...
264
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:07,734
That poster of Halle Berry
is a little unnerving.
265
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,611
So don't look at it.
266
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:14,115
- She's like my fourth favorite Catwoman.
- No kidding?
267
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:17,326
Yeah, Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfeiffer,
Eartha Kitt and then her.
268
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:21,664
- What about Lee Meriwether?
- Oh, I forgot about Lee Meriwether.
269
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,584
Well, I'm glad that's settled.
270
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,837
That makes Halle Berry
my fifth favorite Catwoman.
271
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,882
Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfeiffer,
Eartha Kitt, Lee Meriwether...
272
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:36,846
- Please, I'm begging you, go to sleep.
- I'm trying. I'm counting Catwomen.
273
00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,811
She did make a fine mutant
in the X-Men movies, though.
274
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:44,979
Oh, for God's sake.
275
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:48,649
She's not my favorite of the X-Men.
In order, that'd be Wolverine, Cyclops...
276
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:52,320
I forgot Professor X.
Professor X, Wolverine, Cyclops, Iceman...
277
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:55,823
...then Storm, Angel, the Bea...
No, wait, Nightcrawler.
278
00:17:56,241 --> 00:18:01,329
Professor X, Nightcrawler, Wolverine,
Cyclops, Iceman, then Storm, Angel...
279
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:02,538
[DOOR KNOCKS]
280
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:03,748
LEONARD:
I'm coming.
281
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,876
Hey.
282
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:10,880
There he is.
There's my old buddy-bud-bud.
283
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:19,472
- What's with him?
- Koothrappali dumped him on me.
284
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,308
He couldn't get to sleep,
so I gave him a glass of milk...
285
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:25,478
...with a handful
of my mom's Valium in it.
286
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,066
But he still wouldn't shut up,
so tag, you're it.
287
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,697
I'm back.
288
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:40,493
- I still don't know why you left.
- I can't tell you.
289
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:44,205
- Why not?
- I promised Penny.
290
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:49,377
- Promised Penny what?
- That I wouldn't tell you the secret.
291
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:52,046
Shh!
292
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:56,384
What secret? Tell me the secret.
293
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:02,265
Mom smokes in the car.
294
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:06,853
Jesus is okay with it,
but we can't tell Dad.
295
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:12,108
Not that secret, the other secret.
296
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,902
- [IN DEEP VOICE] I'm Batman.
- Damn it, Sheldon.
297
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:22,326
You said Penny told you a secret.
What's the secret?
298
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:26,080
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Okay, I'll tell you,
but you can't tell Leonard.
299
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:29,250
I promise.
300
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:32,170
Penny lied about graduating
from community college...
301
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:35,715
...because she's afraid
she's not smart enough for Leonard.
302
00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:42,430
So it's nothing I did? It's her problem?
303
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:46,100
I drank milk that tasted funny.
304
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:53,149
Penny thinks I'm too smart for her.
That's ridiculous.
305
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,359
I know.
306
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:59,363
Most of your work is extremely derivative.
307
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,991
And don't worry, that's not a secret.
308
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,619
Everybody knows.
309
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:11,792
- Hi.
- Yeah, hi. Listen.
310
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,129
I know what's been bothering you about us,
and I have the answer.
311
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,633
- What are you talking about?
- I wanna say that it's not Sheldon's fault.
312
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,676
He tried very hard to keep your secret.
313
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:24,347
If Howard hadn't drugged him,
he would've taken it to his grave.
314
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,391
- He told you?
- Yes, but it's okay.
315
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:31,312
Now that we know what the problem is,
there's a simple solution.
316
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:37,109
- Pasadena City College?
- A place for fun, a place for knowledge.
317
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:44,200
See, this man here is playing Hacky Sack,
and this girl's gonna be a paralegal.
318
00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:48,496
Oh. I get it,
because Dr. Leonard Hofstadter...
319
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:51,624
...can't date a girl
without a fancy college degree.
320
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,503
Well, it's really not that fancy.
It's just a city college.
321
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:59,173
Right, but I have to have
some sort of degree to date you?
322
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:03,219
- That doesn't matter to me at all.
- So it's fine with you if I'm not smart?
323
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,638
Absolutely.
324
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:13,020
Okay, this time,
I know where I went wrong.
325
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,525
Bite me.
326
00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:48,347
[English - US - SDH]
27400
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