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1
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,401
This is the Army.
2
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:32,323
It's learning how to be a soldier.
And how to be much more.
3
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:42,583
It's cold streams that chill your bones
and a hot meal to warm you up.
4
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:45,169
It's softball and low bridges.
5
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:47,547
It's a hundred ways
to prove yourself.
6
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,006
This is the Army.
7
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,094
If you'd like to be part of it,
call this number toll-free.
8
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:59,016
That's my philosophy,
$100 shine on a $3 pair of boots.
9
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,977
Yes, sir.
10
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:06,149
I don't think I've ever
been this happy.
11
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,529
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
12
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:22,665
I got a nice, warm cab right here.
You sure?
13
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:25,835
- Let's go. City center.
- Hey, let's go, man.
14
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,193
Thanks for the ride, pal.
15
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:58,743
Shit!
16
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,539
God, I thought that was a dog
around your neck.
17
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,042
If that's humor, don't bother.
18
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:09,086
I want to be taken to the airport.
Be very careful with the bags.
19
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,172
Don't scratch them.
20
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,050
Allow me.
21
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:15,760
Thank you.
22
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,407
Would you be careful with those?
23
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:41,786
Madam, perhaps you'd like
to eat your luggage.
24
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,913
I'm in a hurry.
25
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,587
Oh, my balls. Oh, my balls.
26
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,439
Good morning.
27
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,817
This is Basic English.
28
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:18,030
My name is Russell Ziskey...
29
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,075
and I'm gonna be your instructor
for the next five weeks.
30
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:24,787
I want you to call me Russell, and I'm
gonna call you by your first names...
31
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:29,292
because I would have a tough time
pronouncing some of your last names.
32
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:37,800
Okay, I know you're anxious to jump
right in and start speaking English...
33
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,970
but there are a couple of things
I need to know first because...
34
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,847
I've never done this before.
35
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:45,975
So how many of you would
say you speak English fairly well...
36
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,394
but with some difficulty?
37
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,023
A little English?
38
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,861
Yes, you speak some English?
39
00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:03,826
Son of bitch. Shit.
40
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,501
I've never gone this way before.
41
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:16,297
I'm sure there's a lot of ways
I've gone that you haven't.
42
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,507
What is your name?
43
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:22,178
John Ringer? What kind
of a name is Ringer?
44
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,847
Winger. I'm adopted.
45
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,683
I spent most of my life
in institutions.
46
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:31,812
Doesn't surprise me. You look like
a typical lowlife character to me.
47
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:41,405
Actually, I'm a photographer.
I took this job because I love people.
48
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:44,700
There's nothing I enjoy more than
meeting someone like yourself...
49
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,912
and getting to know you,
then taking photos of you while I drive.
50
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:52,541
Will you stop?! Turn around! Watch
the road! Stop with the pictures!
51
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,336
Thank you so much.
52
00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:58,422
Aren't you going too fast?
53
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,341
No, it's not the speed
really so much.
54
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:03,219
I just wish I hadn't drunk
all that cough syrup this morning.
55
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:04,679
Oh, my!
56
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,893
- We're going to be killed!
- Oh, no.
57
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:14,689
- Just keep your hands on the wheel!
- Not killed! Not killed!
58
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:26,367
You...
59
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:30,454
You should have your license
taken away.
60
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:35,668
I am going to write
your name down...
61
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:42,008
and see that it's given to
the proper authorities, G-E-R.
62
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,051
You're a bum!
63
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:47,263
And that's all you'll ever be,
a bum!
64
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,434
Well, that hurts, ma'am.
65
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,688
And I don't think
I want to take your abuse.
66
00:05:55,856 --> 00:06:00,276
I know I don't want to take you
to the airport. How about that?
67
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,829
Hey, move that cab, buddy!
68
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:18,502
Hey! You can't stop
in the middle of a bridge!
69
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,680
Would you get back in the car?!
70
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:35,061
Okay. That's really very good.
I'd like to try just one more time...
71
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,313
and then we'll call it a day.
72
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:53,370
Okay, great, great.
All right, we'll see you next week.
73
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:56,332
We'll learn some new tunes.
We'll have a great time. Bye-bye.
74
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,626
Bye-bye.
75
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,730
That's my car!
76
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,733
- Hey, man!
- Instant Finance.
77
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,236
You're late on the payments, pal.
78
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,933
It's me.
79
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,483
- John, is that you?
- Yeah.
80
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:08,445
- Did you remember to get my dress?
- Yeah.
81
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:15,536
Hi, baby. You're home
a little early, aren't you?
82
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,705
- Yeah.
- How was your day?
83
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,540
Fine.
84
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,959
I got you a pizza too.
85
00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,604
I had a real bad day.
86
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,732
Yeah. Yeah, I bet you did.
87
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,452
I quit my job.
88
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:02,041
I just can't take this anymore.
89
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,002
I know. I gotta straighten out.
90
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,463
- This is ridiculous.
- Right.
91
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,089
That's what you said last week.
92
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:12,468
You know, how much can you
straighten out in one week?
93
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:16,138
It hasn't been a week, John.
It's been six months.
94
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,932
Nothing's changed.
95
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:21,477
You sleep in till noon, then
you watch Rocky and Bullwinkle.
96
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,938
Then you drive your cab,
what, a couple hours?
97
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,190
You come home,
you order out food...
98
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:30,069
and then you play those stupid Tito
Puente albums until 2 in the morning!
99
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,404
Tito Puente is gonna be dead,
and you'll say:
100
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,074
"I've been listening to him for years.
He's fabulous."
101
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,618
Then you watch movies until dawn,
and then...
102
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,329
then you come to bed with me.
103
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:44,458
You don't think that takes energy?
You're a sexual dynamo.
104
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,168
Most guys couldn't even
handle you.
105
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:49,505
I've been reading books on the outside
so I can keep up with you.
106
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,257
It's not funny.
107
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:55,552
You're going nowhere, John.
108
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,931
It's just not that cute anymore.
109
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,897
It's a little cute.
110
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:12,194
Come on. I'm part of a lost
and restless generation.
111
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,488
What, you want me to run
for the Senate?
112
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,699
I don't know what I want.
113
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,743
I just know that I don't want you.
114
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,916
So the basic problem is
that I'm still around?
115
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:30,170
Where's that sharp knife
we have? Anita!
116
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,093
I need you.
117
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:39,054
Come on, John.
118
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,557
I knew that wasn't
gonna sound good.
119
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,600
- Anita.
- No.
120
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:47,438
John, no, it's not gonna work.
I like you, but I need something more.
121
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:51,442
I need somebody who's gonna
develop with me and grow. Goodbye.
122
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,319
- Who could grow more than me?
- Goodbye.
123
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,988
Talk about massive potential
for growth.
124
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,782
I am the little acorn
that becomes the oak.
125
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:02,536
You can't go!
All the plants are gonna die!
126
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:12,588
And then depression set in.
127
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,268
Go away.
128
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,821
Hi, John.
129
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,575
What's the matter with you?
130
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:44,703
Nothing.
131
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,123
Nice shot, John.
132
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,755
Need a little help.
133
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,715
Hey, can I take your last beer?
134
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,343
- No.
- We'll split it.
135
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,183
I've had an interesting morning.
136
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,894
In the last two hours...
137
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,898
I've lost my job, my apartment...
138
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,818
my car and my girlfriend.
139
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:18,153
You still have your health.
140
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,413
Hey. Yes, thank you.
Toss that up here.
141
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,668
Yo. Here we are, my man.
142
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:35,379
All right, come to papa.
Toss that thing. Let's go.
143
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,091
Jeez.
144
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,635
Thank you.
145
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,805
The Army can make you feel
a lot of ways:
146
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:49,518
- Tired, challenged, trained and proud.
- This doesn't look bad.
147
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,021
What, the Army?
148
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,149
You're kidding.
149
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:58,360
No. I've always thought
about joining the Army.
150
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,737
Bullshit. You're not the type.
151
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,493
What do you mean,
I'm not the type?
152
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:09,538
I've seen the kind of guys
that enlist in the Army.
153
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,708
I saw them when I was working on
unemployment. They're like us.
154
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:15,294
Except they're not as sophisticated.
155
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,379
Yeah, they're not as old either.
156
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,090
I bet you can't do five pushups.
157
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,009
Five pushups?
158
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,138
I got $3 says
I can do five pushups.
159
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,765
Okay, let's go. Five good ones.
Come on.
160
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,561
- Not Marine pushups.
- No, simple pushups.
161
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,109
I've never heard bones
creak like that.
162
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,654
That's none.
163
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,115
- I'm praying.
- You ought to.
164
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,701
Let's go. There's a time limit here.
165
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:53,081
He's almost set.
He's eyeing that rug.
166
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:57,169
And that's one.
All right. He's off.
167
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,963
He's moving now. That's two.
168
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,090
Not that good though.
169
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,930
That's three.
170
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:10,766
I think you're ready
for the Special Olympics.
171
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,228
That's three.
172
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,896
- That's four.
- Four.
173
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,397
I was testing you.
174
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,609
And here goes five. Will he do it?
175
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,779
Congratulations.
You just doubled your money.
176
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,371
I gotta get in shape.
177
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:36,667
I gotta dry out,
or I'll be dead before I'm 30.
178
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,628
The Army's my only chance.
179
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:42,464
You could join a monastery.
180
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:47,302
Did you ever see a monk get
wildly fucked by some teenage girls?
181
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,639
- Never.
- So much for the monastery.
182
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,141
Brew.
183
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:59,523
- Thanks for splitting it.
- No problem.
184
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:02,150
You're welcome to stay
at my place if you want.
185
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:05,320
Pretty much got
that roach problem licked.
186
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,322
I'm going Army.
187
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,616
You've got some warped idea
about the Army.
188
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:13,287
You think it's like a health club
with neat uniforms or something.
189
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:16,623
I go in the Army, they turn my body
into a dangerous weapon.
190
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,750
They make me a black belt.
191
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:22,629
I'll come out a human killing machine.
192
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:26,133
I think we should go
to California again and pick fruit.
193
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:28,468
- They give you money.
- Who?
194
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:32,514
The GI Bill.
Borrow all the money you want.
195
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,683
Will you shut up about the Army?
196
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:36,893
You borrow the money,
you buy a Winnebago.
197
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,645
They ship it anywhere you want.
198
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:41,398
You get lots of travel.
Kathmandu, guaranteed.
199
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,400
Yeah, dysentery guaranteed.
200
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:46,194
I'll be over there in Nepal
with those monkey-head chicks.
201
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,572
They'll all be hitting on me.
"Hey, John..."
202
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:52,034
thanks a lot for keeping the Chinese
off our backs. We appreciate it.
203
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,620
Is there anything we can do for you?
204
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:58,081
Oh, and by the way, handsome...
205
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,709
"...we've never been in a Winnebago."
206
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,670
You figure it out.
207
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:07,007
You ever heard stories about
the gratitude of the Nepalese people?
208
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:10,052
- No.
- They'll probably teach me to levitate.
209
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,721
A black belt who can levitate.
210
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,557
- With a Winnebago.
- Check, please.
211
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,768
I can see you've got this all
figured out.
212
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,562
You're nobody's fool
when it comes to your future, John.
213
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,940
I'm falling apart here.
214
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:29,237
All I've got are a lot of bad habits
and a lot of bad debts.
215
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:34,076
I need some heavy discipline
in my life.
216
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:39,247
You know who would be incredible
in the Army?
217
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,083
Who?
218
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,418
- You.
- Get out of here, I'd hate it.
219
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:46,254
You would be, man.
You could go right into Intelligence.
220
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,423
- I'm not going in.
- You could be a commander.
221
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:51,593
You could probably be a general
in a year.
222
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,930
I mean, Charles de Gaulle was
a general. You're smarter than him.
223
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,641
That guy was like a member
of the steel-plate club.
224
00:16:57,809 --> 00:17:00,852
I ought to run right down there
and join up?
225
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:05,107
Well, I was gonna go over there.
We could use your car.
226
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:08,527
- We'd have to, wouldn't we?
- Yeah.
227
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,208
You coming in?
228
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:38,432
Hey, this is a loading zone.
You can't park here.
229
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,642
We're not parking it.
We're abandoning it.
230
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,478
I can't believe we're doing this.
231
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,440
Listen, if I get killed,
my blood is on your hands.
232
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:50,068
Just don't get it on my shoes, okay?
Hello?
233
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,739
I'm not saying that the Army will be
able to do for you what it did for me.
234
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:57,534
All I'm saying is you get out of it
exactly what you put into it.
235
00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:01,163
Now, sometimes the Army's
your best shot.
236
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:04,958
There's some questions I have to ask.
They're a little personal.
237
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:08,295
Have you ever been convicted
of a felony or a misdemeanor?
238
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:11,673
That's robbery, rape, car theft,
that sort of thing?
239
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,550
- Convicted?
- Yeah.
240
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,761
- No.
- Never convicted.
241
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,181
That's good. Good.
242
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:23,059
Are either of you homosexuals?
243
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,692
You mean, like, flaming or...?
244
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:34,696
Well, it's a standard question
we have to ask.
245
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,824
No, we're not homosexual,
but we are willing to learn.
246
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,578
Yeah, would they send us
someplace special?
247
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:47,125
I guess that's no on both.
248
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:51,338
All right, now if you'll just give
Uncle Sam your autograph here.
249
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:55,967
"Sammy, get well soon."
250
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,844
That's good. Now your name.
251
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:33,129
Can I talk to you for a minute?
252
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,062
I was wondering if you...
Are you...
253
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:52,607
- You know, holding?
- No, man, I'm not.
254
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:55,777
Well, I was wondering if you could
hold something for me.
255
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:58,780
What, are you smuggling furs
or something?
256
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,450
Drugs.
257
00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:06,705
Excuse me. General Hansen?
258
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,791
No, I'm not a general,
but may I help you?
259
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:12,836
Yes. I want to thank you
for saving my life over in Vietnam.
260
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:16,464
- I don't think that was me.
- You're right. It was Normandy Beach.
261
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:19,092
I was shot up pretty bad.
262
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:22,053
You grabbed me, pulled me
into a foxhole and patched me up.
263
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,473
I don't think so and I don't care
and I don't have the time.
264
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,059
- See this arm band? MP.
- Yes, ma'am.
265
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:31,813
Stands for military police.
Are you on one of these buses?
266
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,565
Not yet, ma'am.
267
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,985
My job is to see that
big, strong men like you...
268
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,446
get on these buses
without getting lost.
269
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:42,490
So why don't you just move along
and get on the bus?
270
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,242
Did you check him off, Louise?
271
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,871
You know, there's a strip search
before you get on the bus.
272
00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,582
- Really?
- Yeah. Be careful, man.
273
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,838
So, what, I guess
we dig each other...
274
00:20:57,006 --> 00:21:00,592
and we'll be seeing each other
around the officers' club?
275
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:08,266
Watch out for this guy.
He's a troublemaker.
276
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,438
- Do you have your papers?
- Yes. Here.
277
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,818
What happens if I refuse
to get on the bus?
278
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:21,863
You look like a sensitive,
intelligent guy.
279
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,033
Don't make me shoot you.
280
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:27,452
Climb aboard, soldier.
281
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:42,884
- What do you think?
- I hope we don't go to war.
282
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:46,721
Excuse me, stewardess.
Is there a movie on this flight?
283
00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:49,891
- Bus.
- A movie on this flight.
284
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,861
Inside. Off the bus.
285
00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:45,822
Off the bus. Right on inside.
286
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:48,700
Move it out, son. Move it out.
287
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,953
Move it out!
288
00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:53,621
Off the bus.
289
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:58,043
Right on inside.
290
00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:00,128
Sergeant Hulka.
291
00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:03,214
Yes, sir?
292
00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:11,139
At ease, sergeant.
293
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,642
I'm Captain Stillman,
the new company commander.
294
00:23:15,269 --> 00:23:17,103
Pleased to meet you, sir.
295
00:23:17,271 --> 00:23:19,564
Fine-looking group of men,
wouldn't you say so?
296
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:23,777
Boy, I hope this is the mess hall.
297
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:25,653
How's it going, Eisenhower?
298
00:23:28,282 --> 00:23:31,326
Yes, sir, a fine-looking bunch
of men.
299
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:35,163
Yes, well. Get them inside...
300
00:23:35,664 --> 00:23:37,332
and carry on, I guess.
301
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,793
I'll be in my office
if you need me.
302
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,336
Yes, sir.
303
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:44,839
Inside.
304
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:51,638
Have that removed, corporal.
305
00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:55,767
Move it out!
306
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:03,399
Men, welcome to
the United States Army.
307
00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:05,693
I'm Sergeant Hulka.
308
00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:08,196
I'm your drill sergeant.
309
00:24:08,364 --> 00:24:10,824
Before we proceed any further...
310
00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:12,867
we gotta get something straight.
311
00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:21,084
Your mamas are not here
to take care of you now.
312
00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:27,465
It's just you, me and Uncle Sam.
313
00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:31,261
And before I leave you...
314
00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:35,765
you're gonna find out that me
and Uncle Sam are one and the same.
315
00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:37,725
Uncle Hulka?
316
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,398
When I tell you to move...
317
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:45,817
you'll move fast.
318
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:47,902
When I tell you to jump...
319
00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:50,405
you're gonna say, "How high?"
320
00:24:51,907 --> 00:24:54,075
And make no mistake.
321
00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:57,370
I don't care where you come from,
I don't care what color you are...
322
00:24:57,538 --> 00:25:00,039
I don't care how smart you are
or how dumb you are...
323
00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:02,584
because I'm gonna teach
every last one of you...
324
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:05,044
how to eat, sleep...
325
00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:09,799
walk, talk, shoot, shit
like a United States soldier.
326
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,680
- Understand?
- Yes, sir.
327
00:25:20,269 --> 00:25:21,853
I didn't hear you.
328
00:25:22,271 --> 00:25:23,938
- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.
329
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:27,984
You don't say "sir" to me.
I'm a sergeant. I work for a living.
330
00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:30,778
- Yes, sergeant.
- I didn't hear you.
331
00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:34,032
- Yes, sergeant.
- Now that's what I wanna hear.
332
00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:37,285
You think this guy's
overdoing it a bit?
333
00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:43,833
You got a problem, boy?
334
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:46,461
No problem, sergeant.
335
00:25:47,046 --> 00:25:48,630
On your feet, boy.
336
00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:54,802
What's your problem, boy?
337
00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:57,972
I was just making a joke, sergeant.
338
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:02,685
Well, why don't you tell me
your joke, son?
339
00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:06,147
I don't think you'd think
it's funny, sir. Sergeant.
340
00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:08,107
How do you know?
341
00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:10,985
I got a hell of a sense of humor.
Ain't I, Corporal Briggs?
342
00:26:11,445 --> 00:26:13,071
Yes, sergeant!
343
00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:18,493
Corporal Briggs, we have a comedian
in our midst.
344
00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:21,579
Will you take
this comedian outside...
345
00:26:21,747 --> 00:26:24,290
and watch him do 50 pushups?
346
00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:26,834
Get your goat-smelling ass
out of here!
347
00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:30,505
Move it!
348
00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:32,882
Hut, ho, hut!
349
00:26:33,467 --> 00:26:35,843
Anybody else want to be
a comedian in here?
350
00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:38,596
- No, sergeant.
- I didn't hear you!
351
00:26:38,973 --> 00:26:40,974
No, sergeant!
352
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,077
You look good.
353
00:27:43,245 --> 00:27:46,247
Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna
Krishna, Krishna
354
00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:49,042
Shut up! Just shut up, will you!
355
00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:51,586
- I didn't mean it.
- How come yours is so long?
356
00:27:52,087 --> 00:27:53,963
Fifteen and a half.
357
00:27:55,549 --> 00:27:57,383
Thirty-three.
358
00:27:58,177 --> 00:27:59,886
Forty-two.
359
00:28:00,054 --> 00:28:01,429
- Thirty-seven.
- Thirty-seven?
360
00:28:01,597 --> 00:28:03,598
Step down. Grab your papers.
361
00:28:03,766 --> 00:28:07,226
These are 34s,
and they're loose.
362
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:11,356
I gotta live with 37?
363
00:28:15,778 --> 00:28:17,487
Sergeant Hulka?
364
00:28:18,238 --> 00:28:20,281
I'm sorry about what happened
at the meeting.
365
00:28:20,449 --> 00:28:24,660
I certainly meant no offense by it.
It won't happen again.
366
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:27,121
Keep it moving! Let's go!
367
00:28:30,584 --> 00:28:32,877
- Think he bought it?
- No.
368
00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:37,131
Boxer or jockey?
369
00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:40,468
You got something in a low-rise bikini?
Mesh, if possible.
370
00:28:43,305 --> 00:28:44,806
So where you from, Tex?
371
00:28:44,973 --> 00:28:48,142
Don't you ever touch me again, ever.
372
00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:53,022
This is pretty sweet.
Free clothing.
373
00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:56,609
Look at this stuff. Chicks in New York
paying top dollar for this garbage.
374
00:28:56,777 --> 00:28:59,153
How about that lunch?
What was that brown stuff?
375
00:29:00,989 --> 00:29:06,452
All right, men, fall in alongside
this roadway in a column of two.
376
00:29:06,620 --> 00:29:08,579
Fall in!
377
00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,873
Move it! Move it!
378
00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:12,875
Hi.
379
00:29:13,961 --> 00:29:15,420
Move it!
380
00:29:16,797 --> 00:29:20,925
You know something, soldier.
I've noticed you're always last.
381
00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:23,803
- I'm pacing myself, sergeant.
- Move it!
382
00:29:24,513 --> 00:29:26,139
Hold it!
383
00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:30,476
Sorry.
384
00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:32,645
Left face!
385
00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:37,984
Left, right, left, right.
386
00:29:38,152 --> 00:29:39,527
You stand in place.
387
00:29:44,032 --> 00:29:46,200
Forward march!
388
00:29:47,494 --> 00:29:49,203
Hey, we're walking.
389
00:29:49,371 --> 00:29:52,874
Left, right, left, right, left, right.
390
00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:03,277
My name's Howard J. Turkstra.
I'm from Kansas City.
391
00:31:03,820 --> 00:31:07,698
My hobbies are fast cars
and fast women.
392
00:31:08,951 --> 00:31:13,621
Because... That's why guys in
my car club call me "The Cruiser."
393
00:31:13,789 --> 00:31:15,873
Should call him "The Dork."
394
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:18,000
Knock it off.
395
00:31:18,168 --> 00:31:19,794
Go ahead.
396
00:31:20,671 --> 00:31:24,465
I joined the Army because my father
and my brother were in the Army.
397
00:31:26,468 --> 00:31:29,053
I thought I'd better join
before I got drafted.
398
00:31:34,768 --> 00:31:37,311
Son, there ain't no draft no more.
399
00:31:38,272 --> 00:31:39,730
There was one?
400
00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:43,901
What a jerk!
401
00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:47,947
Next.
402
00:31:48,865 --> 00:31:51,325
The name's Francis Soyer.
403
00:31:52,327 --> 00:31:54,412
But everybody calls me Psycho.
404
00:31:55,831 --> 00:32:00,585
Any of you guys call me Francis,
and I'll kill you.
405
00:32:01,336 --> 00:32:04,088
You just made the list, buddy.
406
00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:07,675
And I don't like nobody
touching my stuff!
407
00:32:08,176 --> 00:32:10,177
So just keep your meat hooks off.
408
00:32:10,345 --> 00:32:13,848
If I catch any of you guys
in my stuff, I'll kill you.
409
00:32:14,891 --> 00:32:18,811
Also, I don't like
nobody touching me.
410
00:32:18,979 --> 00:32:21,856
Now, any of you homos...
411
00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:25,192
touch me, and I'll kill you.
412
00:32:28,447 --> 00:32:30,865
Lighten up, Francis.
413
00:32:34,745 --> 00:32:36,912
You're all in this together.
414
00:32:38,582 --> 00:32:41,876
One of these men may save your life
one of these days, understand?
415
00:32:42,044 --> 00:32:44,837
Then again, maybe one of us won't.
416
00:32:52,012 --> 00:32:53,304
- You, go ahead.
- Me?
417
00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:54,847
Yeah.
418
00:32:55,015 --> 00:32:59,060
My name's Dewey Oxberger.
My friends call me Ox.
419
00:32:59,227 --> 00:33:02,229
You might have noticed
I've got a slight weight problem.
420
00:33:02,648 --> 00:33:04,482
- No!
- Yeah, I do.
421
00:33:04,650 --> 00:33:07,193
Anyway, I went to this doctor.
422
00:33:07,361 --> 00:33:10,696
Well, he told me I swallowed
a lot of aggression...
423
00:33:10,864 --> 00:33:12,823
along with a lot of pizzas.
424
00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:14,575
Pizzas!
425
00:33:15,035 --> 00:33:17,119
I'm basically a shy person.
426
00:33:17,287 --> 00:33:19,246
I'm a shy guy...
427
00:33:19,414 --> 00:33:23,000
and he suggested taking one
of these aggression-training courses.
428
00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:26,796
You know, these aggressive-training
courses like EST, those type of things.
429
00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:30,383
Anyway, it costs 400 bucks
to join this thing.
430
00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:33,177
Well, I didn't have the money.
431
00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:38,599
And I thought to myself,
"Join the Army. It's free."
432
00:33:38,767 --> 00:33:42,019
So I figured while I'm here
I'll lose a few pounds.
433
00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:45,106
You got a six-to eight-week training
program here, a tough one.
434
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:47,274
Which is perfect for me.
435
00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:51,612
I'm gonna walk out of here
a lean, mean, fighting machine.
436
00:33:53,281 --> 00:33:55,658
- Good thinking, Ox. Real good.
- It is.
437
00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:57,952
Ziskey.
438
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,913
I've always been kind
of a pacifist.
439
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:04,625
When I was a kid my father told me,
"Never hit anyone in anger...
440
00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:08,796
unless you're absolutely sure
you can get away with it."
441
00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:12,299
I don't know what kind
of soldier I'll make...
442
00:34:12,467 --> 00:34:17,972
but I want you guys to know that
if we ever get into real heavy combat...
443
00:34:18,140 --> 00:34:22,143
I'll be right behind you guys
every step of the way.
444
00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:30,192
Okay, Mr. Pushups.
Let's hear your story.
445
00:34:30,652 --> 00:34:34,655
Chicks dig me because
I rarely wear underwear...
446
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:37,992
and when I do,
it's usually something unusual.
447
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:43,497
But now I know why I have always
lost women to guys like you.
448
00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:45,875
It's not just the uniform.
449
00:34:46,042 --> 00:34:48,544
It's the stories that you tell.
450
00:34:48,712 --> 00:34:51,130
So much fun and imagination.
451
00:34:51,506 --> 00:34:53,591
Lee Harvey...
452
00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:56,802
you are a madman.
453
00:34:58,138 --> 00:35:01,515
When you stole that cow...
454
00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:05,019
and your friends tried
to make it with the cow.
455
00:35:05,187 --> 00:35:08,189
I want to party with you, cowboy.
456
00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:12,026
The two of us together,
forget it.
457
00:35:13,236 --> 00:35:15,529
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
458
00:35:17,407 --> 00:35:20,785
I'm gonna volunteer my leadership
to this platoon.
459
00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:23,913
An Army without leaders
is like a foot...
460
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:26,373
without a big toe.
461
00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:29,543
And Sergeant Hulka isn't always
gonna be there...
462
00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:32,338
to be that big toe for us.
463
00:35:33,089 --> 00:35:37,009
I think that we owe
a big round of applause...
464
00:35:37,177 --> 00:35:40,137
to our newest, bestest buddy...
465
00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:42,348
and big toe...
466
00:35:42,516 --> 00:35:44,683
Sergeant Hulka.
467
00:35:53,735 --> 00:35:56,070
Well, okay, hotshot.
468
00:35:56,238 --> 00:35:59,448
We're gonna see what kind
of soldier you are.
469
00:35:59,616 --> 00:36:02,243
Reveille is 0500.
470
00:36:02,911 --> 00:36:04,703
We're gonna fall out
with locker boxes...
471
00:36:04,871 --> 00:36:07,331
and we're gonna have
a locker-box inspection.
472
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:12,086
And then we're gonna do 10 miles,
rain or shine.
473
00:36:12,921 --> 00:36:16,090
So you better hit them bunks,
my little babies...
474
00:36:16,258 --> 00:36:18,259
or Sergeant Hulka with the big toe...
475
00:36:18,426 --> 00:36:21,053
is gonna see how far he can stick it
up your ass.
476
00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:34,942
Out of them bunks!
477
00:36:43,952 --> 00:36:45,703
We got a full day ahead of us.
478
00:36:45,871 --> 00:36:48,664
We're gonna start out
with a five-mile run.
479
00:36:48,999 --> 00:36:51,584
I know I'm speaking for
the entire platoon when I say...
480
00:36:51,751 --> 00:36:56,463
this run should be postponed
until this platoon is better rested.
481
00:37:00,510 --> 00:37:04,513
Well, I'll tell you what, soldier.
Let's make it 10 miles.
482
00:37:04,681 --> 00:37:06,682
Any more complaints?
483
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:11,145
Thanks a lot, Winger!
484
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:17,318
Nice going, asshole.
485
00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:23,991
You're making friends fast
around here, John.
486
00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:29,914
Oh, my... Oh, my God! Mama!
487
00:37:39,007 --> 00:37:41,008
Captain Stillman.
488
00:37:43,136 --> 00:37:47,514
Major Ellis would like you to look over
these interim reports, captain, sir.
489
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:52,311
Interim reports!
That's all I ever do around here.
490
00:37:52,479 --> 00:37:54,355
I want some action!
491
00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:58,525
Hold that, corporal.
492
00:38:00,987 --> 00:38:03,155
Oh, look at those men.
493
00:38:03,657 --> 00:38:04,990
Are those my men, corporal?
494
00:38:05,158 --> 00:38:08,202
No, sir. Those are
Captain Benton's men, sir.
495
00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:10,537
Well, where are my men?
496
00:38:10,705 --> 00:38:13,165
Let's see. Sergeant Hulka
is on the confidence course.
497
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:15,250
Sergeant Crocker
is on the mortar range.
498
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,337
Terrific. Corporal,
bring up the jeep.
499
00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:20,047
Yes, sir.
500
00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:24,426
Grenade!
501
00:38:32,769 --> 00:38:34,395
Go get them!
502
00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:42,736
Those are damn fine men.
Are they in my company?
503
00:38:42,904 --> 00:38:45,990
No, sir. Oh, here come
your men now, sir.
504
00:39:27,157 --> 00:39:28,757
Hit it!
505
00:39:44,716 --> 00:39:47,009
Stand up when
I'm sticking you, boy!
506
00:39:47,177 --> 00:39:49,094
Get down and give me 50, mother!
507
00:39:49,262 --> 00:39:52,931
Come on! I'll walk on your ass, boy!
I was killing...
508
00:39:53,475 --> 00:39:57,102
Fifteen, 16, 17...
509
00:40:22,837 --> 00:40:25,172
Twenty-seven, 28...
510
00:40:25,799 --> 00:40:26,799
Wait a minute.
511
00:40:26,966 --> 00:40:29,134
- You got the light one.
- Yeah, my mistake.
512
00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:30,636
- Yeah.
- Here, let's switch.
513
00:40:30,804 --> 00:40:32,930
- I kind of thought it was a mistake.
- I got it.
514
00:40:33,098 --> 00:40:35,015
It's real heavy.
515
00:40:35,183 --> 00:40:36,850
This one's light.
Stand out of the way.
516
00:40:44,651 --> 00:40:46,360
Fall out!
517
00:40:47,821 --> 00:40:50,447
- Stop! Fall in!
- Hey, sergeant, it's raining.
518
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:53,200
Sergeant, I think it's a bad idea
to march today.
519
00:40:53,368 --> 00:40:55,619
You know, this is
the cold and flu season.
520
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:59,331
Fifty-one, 52...
521
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:03,210
- When's the good part, John?
- This is the good part.
522
00:41:03,378 --> 00:41:07,214
Get your butt down, soldier.
You'll get it shot off someday. Move it!
523
00:41:07,382 --> 00:41:08,715
Move it!
524
00:41:35,410 --> 00:41:36,869
You all right?
525
00:41:43,376 --> 00:41:45,752
I should've kept my head down.
526
00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:50,465
I learned a lot of things today, John.
527
00:41:51,801 --> 00:41:54,761
I've never felt more alive
in my whole life.
528
00:41:55,763 --> 00:41:59,016
I think this is the greatest day
I've ever spent.
529
00:41:59,684 --> 00:42:02,394
And I want to thank you for making me
join the Army.
530
00:42:05,982 --> 00:42:08,317
Get me out of here.
531
00:42:09,402 --> 00:42:11,445
I'll take care of you.
532
00:42:14,282 --> 00:42:16,950
Going south today? All right.
533
00:42:21,039 --> 00:42:24,124
- So, what are you taking?
- Oh, I got these from Elmo.
534
00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:27,252
I told him I get sick when I fly.
I think they're Dramamine.
535
00:42:28,046 --> 00:42:31,465
These are Elmo's microdots.
That's acid.
536
00:42:34,928 --> 00:42:36,220
John.
537
00:42:39,849 --> 00:42:42,517
- John, I took a lot of these.
- How many?
538
00:42:42,685 --> 00:42:45,854
Well, one just now
and one in the barracks.
539
00:42:46,022 --> 00:42:47,981
Two in the jeep.
540
00:42:48,149 --> 00:42:52,486
- Two when we got out of the jeep.
- Oh, no. Six hits.
541
00:42:52,654 --> 00:42:54,988
What a tragedy. Hey. Hey.
542
00:42:55,156 --> 00:42:58,408
We're not gonna let you drive now,
you sit right down here.
543
00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,702
Buckle up here, cowpoke.
544
00:43:00,870 --> 00:43:03,789
Stow your tray table
in the upright position, will you?
545
00:43:03,957 --> 00:43:07,000
You're gonna be just fine
in about 12 hours.
546
00:43:07,168 --> 00:43:09,878
It's gonna be kind of weird
till then, but...
547
00:43:22,225 --> 00:43:24,017
The plane's coming apart.
548
00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:28,438
Hello!
549
00:43:57,677 --> 00:44:00,971
I'm Captain Hollister, Special
Operations Group. Who are you?
550
00:44:01,139 --> 00:44:03,223
- I'm Major Dodge.
- Captain DeSoto.
551
00:44:03,558 --> 00:44:06,101
Pleasure to meet you, Hollister.
Heard a lot about you.
552
00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:09,062
Well, I never heard of you.
And you're not on my roster.
553
00:44:10,732 --> 00:44:13,734
That's just the way
we like to keep it, captain.
554
00:44:14,235 --> 00:44:16,695
It's double double top-secret.
555
00:44:17,613 --> 00:44:20,449
- Intelligence?
- Some.
556
00:44:20,616 --> 00:44:23,827
Anything I could tell you
would be a lie, captain...
557
00:44:23,995 --> 00:44:26,747
so how about we tag along
with you to your destination...
558
00:44:26,914 --> 00:44:29,416
and then we'll go
our separate ways.
559
00:44:29,876 --> 00:44:31,752
Dismissed, captain.
560
00:44:57,195 --> 00:44:59,279
Okay, major, let's go!
561
00:44:59,822 --> 00:45:03,492
Go!
562
00:45:04,952 --> 00:45:06,620
Russell!
563
00:45:07,789 --> 00:45:10,123
They're all going backpacking, John!
564
00:45:13,628 --> 00:45:15,462
Go! Go! Go!
565
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:34,648
The important thing is not to panic.
566
00:45:34,816 --> 00:45:37,484
We should, like, build a shelter,
I think.
567
00:45:37,652 --> 00:45:41,488
Then we make some stone tools and
we can cut some spears and arrows.
568
00:45:41,656 --> 00:45:44,157
Because tonight we're gonna go out
and kill a wild boar.
569
00:45:44,325 --> 00:45:46,451
And then we're gonna dry the meat
for traveling.
570
00:45:46,619 --> 00:45:49,538
And in the morning
we can chop down a big tree...
571
00:45:49,705 --> 00:45:51,206
and make a dugout canoe.
572
00:45:51,374 --> 00:45:54,876
And we could find a river
that'll probably run down to the ocean.
573
00:45:55,044 --> 00:45:58,296
If we're lucky, we'll drift into
those major shipping lanes...
574
00:45:58,464 --> 00:46:01,800
we'll probably get picked up in a day
or two by a Liberian freighter.
575
00:46:01,968 --> 00:46:03,343
What do you think?
576
00:46:03,511 --> 00:46:05,846
I think we should find a hotel room.
577
00:46:07,223 --> 00:46:08,932
That's a good idea.
578
00:46:14,355 --> 00:46:15,689
Hello!
579
00:46:17,316 --> 00:46:20,318
I think some of these plants
are edible.
580
00:46:20,486 --> 00:46:22,612
- Yeah.
- Not that one.
581
00:46:23,531 --> 00:46:26,324
I think we might have to settle
for a motel.
582
00:46:27,243 --> 00:46:31,329
- This looks like a main road.
- Oh, yeah, this is the interstate here.
583
00:46:31,497 --> 00:46:35,125
Yeah. We just find a gas station,
they'll tell us where all the nice...
584
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,756
What a rush. The sky is brown.
585
00:47:05,031 --> 00:47:06,239
Hi.
586
00:47:12,288 --> 00:47:13,830
Thank you.
587
00:47:16,584 --> 00:47:17,959
Sit down.
588
00:47:38,814 --> 00:47:40,357
Thank you.
589
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,282
Colombia. Love weed.
590
00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:52,577
Good, good, good.
591
00:47:52,745 --> 00:47:54,496
Pills.
592
00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:57,457
For you.
593
00:48:04,173 --> 00:48:06,007
Good, good.
594
00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:10,303
Oh, yeah.
595
00:48:10,471 --> 00:48:13,431
- Oh, it's good in stew, yeah.
- Yeah, put about 30 in there.
596
00:48:13,975 --> 00:48:16,309
That's good. Oh, great.
597
00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:18,228
Time to get out of here.
598
00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:29,281
What is their struggle?
599
00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:40,875
It's cutting time.
600
00:49:30,343 --> 00:49:33,511
I can't hear you!
You two should tie the knot!
601
00:50:04,168 --> 00:50:07,504
Hey, captain, could we get a ride
with you?
602
00:50:08,923 --> 00:50:10,715
Just get on the plane.
603
00:50:11,926 --> 00:50:13,677
You bet.
604
00:50:25,189 --> 00:50:26,398
Oh, God, look at that.
605
00:50:26,565 --> 00:50:29,609
Wash off the soap. That's right.
Wash it off.
606
00:50:29,777 --> 00:50:32,779
Look at that. Bend over. Drop
the soap. Oh, tits. Good.
607
00:50:32,947 --> 00:50:37,158
Oh, God, I wish I was a loofah.
Look at that! That's...
608
00:50:37,618 --> 00:50:39,953
Those muscles.
609
00:50:41,372 --> 00:50:44,624
Oh, I didn't know
they could do that.
610
00:50:45,334 --> 00:50:48,420
- Excuse me, captain.
- I don't want to be disturbed.
611
00:50:48,587 --> 00:50:50,422
Stillman!
612
00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:54,300
- Yes, sir?
- Colonel Glass to see you, sir.
613
00:50:54,468 --> 00:50:56,803
I can see that, corporal.
Dismissed.
614
00:50:57,179 --> 00:50:59,764
It's a pleasure to see you, sir.
Welcome to Fort Arnold.
615
00:50:59,932 --> 00:51:02,642
- Let's skip the bullshit, captain.
- Yes, sir.
616
00:51:02,810 --> 00:51:04,894
I've got a problem,
and I need your help.
617
00:51:05,062 --> 00:51:07,647
You've heard of the EM-50 project?
618
00:51:07,815 --> 00:51:10,233
Yes, sir. It's a tank or something.
619
00:51:10,401 --> 00:51:12,777
- It's an urban-assault vehicle.
- Of course.
620
00:51:12,945 --> 00:51:16,656
The Pentagon wants to unveil it
for the news media next month in Italy.
621
00:51:17,032 --> 00:51:19,325
What General Barnicke
wants from you...
622
00:51:19,493 --> 00:51:23,955
is a real crack platoon of
new recruits to man the EM-50.
623
00:51:24,415 --> 00:51:26,040
Real go-getters.
624
00:51:26,459 --> 00:51:29,711
We'll have them photographed
putting the 50 through its paces.
625
00:51:29,879 --> 00:51:32,797
"Our newest soldiers with our
latest weapon." That kind of thing.
626
00:51:32,965 --> 00:51:35,842
Yes, sir. You can count on me, sir.
627
00:51:36,010 --> 00:51:37,677
You screw this up, Stillman...
628
00:51:37,845 --> 00:51:41,181
and I'll have you assigned to a
weather station above the Arctic Circle.
629
00:51:41,348 --> 00:51:43,767
- You got that?
- Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
630
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:45,351
Good.
631
00:51:48,355 --> 00:51:49,731
Attention!
632
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:57,906
- I'm gonna fold.
- Okay.
633
00:51:58,073 --> 00:52:00,700
Well, I'm still in.
Cruise, how about you?
634
00:52:01,410 --> 00:52:02,702
Maybe I should fold.
635
00:52:02,870 --> 00:52:04,954
Well, let me see.
Let me see first.
636
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:07,832
No, not with a hand like that.
Come on.
637
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,543
Dare me. Go on, bluff me.
Come on.
638
00:52:10,711 --> 00:52:12,545
How much should I bet?
639
00:52:12,713 --> 00:52:14,881
If it were me, I'd bet everything.
640
00:52:15,049 --> 00:52:18,092
But that's me. I'm
an aggressive gambler. Mr. Vegas.
641
00:52:20,471 --> 00:52:24,224
Come on. Go for it. Go for it.
642
00:52:24,391 --> 00:52:26,726
Yes, yes, there we go. I'm in.
643
00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:28,937
- What do you got?
- Well, I got a full house.
644
00:52:29,104 --> 00:52:32,357
Three threes and two sixes, that's
a full house. What have you got?
645
00:52:32,525 --> 00:52:35,443
- Two fours, I got an ace.
- You got an ace, an eight and a seven.
646
00:52:35,611 --> 00:52:39,948
Well, you lose. If you would've had
four fours, you would've won.
647
00:52:40,115 --> 00:52:42,534
- You're getting good.
- Starting to get the hang of it.
648
00:52:42,701 --> 00:52:46,162
Isn't this fun? You're pretty good
for a first time, really.
649
00:52:46,330 --> 00:52:47,747
Attention!
650
00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:51,459
Fall in for muster. Move it! Move it!
651
00:52:53,254 --> 00:52:54,671
Ten-hut!
652
00:52:57,758 --> 00:53:00,260
It's come to my attention...
653
00:53:00,427 --> 00:53:03,972
that several members of
the 3rd Platoon Bravo Company...
654
00:53:04,139 --> 00:53:06,891
left this military post
without permission.
655
00:53:10,104 --> 00:53:12,146
I wanna know who it was.
656
00:53:14,817 --> 00:53:16,943
You can tell me now...
657
00:53:19,655 --> 00:53:22,866
or I got ways
of finding out myself.
658
00:53:34,295 --> 00:53:36,337
Okay, mister...
659
00:53:36,505 --> 00:53:41,301
you just got yourself 24 hours
of scrubbing garbage cans.
660
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:43,303
Step back!
661
00:53:47,141 --> 00:53:50,977
Now, since nobody else
has got the guts...
662
00:53:52,605 --> 00:53:54,647
to admit it...
663
00:53:55,608 --> 00:53:57,901
the rest of this platoon...
664
00:53:58,068 --> 00:54:01,487
will do the next two weekends
on KP.
665
00:54:04,325 --> 00:54:06,659
How's that sound to you, mister?
666
00:54:06,827 --> 00:54:08,745
I think it sucks.
667
00:54:11,081 --> 00:54:14,751
It's time you and me
had a private talk, Winger.
668
00:54:14,919 --> 00:54:16,836
Step into my office.
669
00:54:29,808 --> 00:54:32,727
I'm getting the idea, Winger,
that you don't like me.
670
00:54:32,895 --> 00:54:36,105
Maybe I just don't know you
well enough yet, sarge.
671
00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:39,025
What do you say let's cut out
the bullshit between you and me?
672
00:54:39,193 --> 00:54:42,320
- Oh, let's.
- I think you're a punk.
673
00:54:43,030 --> 00:54:45,323
I've been in this Army 28 years.
674
00:54:45,866 --> 00:54:48,618
I've seen your kind come and go.
675
00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:54,457
You think you know something
about everything, don't you?
676
00:54:54,959 --> 00:54:56,542
Let me tell you something, mister.
677
00:54:56,710 --> 00:54:59,212
You don't know a damn thing
about soldiering.
678
00:54:59,380 --> 00:55:03,383
Oh, it's real tough stuff. Especially that
marching-in-a-straight-line business.
679
00:55:03,550 --> 00:55:07,011
I ain't talking about that crap! I'm
talking about something important.
680
00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:10,723
Like discipline and duty and honor
and courage. You ain't got none of it.
681
00:55:10,891 --> 00:55:15,687
Those words mean so much to a man
who scrubs garbage cans.
682
00:55:15,896 --> 00:55:18,356
Look, if you don't want me
in your Army, kick me out...
683
00:55:18,524 --> 00:55:21,401
but get off my back.
684
00:55:23,904 --> 00:55:27,323
Maybe you'd like to
take a swing at me.
685
00:55:28,117 --> 00:55:31,911
I'd like to take a big swing
at you, sarge.
686
00:55:32,871 --> 00:55:35,581
Well, go ahead and
give it your best shot.
687
00:55:36,125 --> 00:55:39,043
I don't think I wanna go
to the stockade.
688
00:55:46,635 --> 00:55:49,262
I'll take my hat off.
689
00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:58,479
There we are, Winger.
Ain't no more drill sergeant.
690
00:55:58,647 --> 00:56:01,149
It's just you and me, kid,
man-to-man.
691
00:56:02,568 --> 00:56:05,153
So go ahead, give it
your best shot.
692
00:56:05,904 --> 00:56:07,905
Swing at me.
693
00:56:09,408 --> 00:56:10,992
Gutless.
694
00:56:11,827 --> 00:56:13,286
Punk.
695
00:56:26,633 --> 00:56:29,510
I'm willing to forget about
this little incident.
696
00:56:29,678 --> 00:56:32,263
And I want you to think
real hard about it.
697
00:56:32,681 --> 00:56:36,768
And maybe someday you'll understand
what the hell I'm talking about.
698
00:56:47,863 --> 00:56:50,615
No. No, don't stop.
699
00:56:50,866 --> 00:56:52,533
Don't stop.
700
00:56:52,993 --> 00:56:55,328
I'll still respect you.
701
00:56:55,496 --> 00:56:57,413
I'll respect you even more.
702
00:56:58,499 --> 00:57:00,708
Just use more whipped cream.
703
00:57:07,174 --> 00:57:09,884
John. John.
704
00:57:10,052 --> 00:57:13,054
I just had the weirdest dream. John.
705
00:57:16,892 --> 00:57:18,351
John?
706
00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:33,491
If I call Anita, she has to
pick me up at the train, right?
707
00:57:38,038 --> 00:57:40,665
I go back, get a new apartment...
708
00:57:40,833 --> 00:57:43,793
I see if I can get
my cab job back.
709
00:57:58,267 --> 00:58:01,727
Where are you going? You going
AWOL? Are you going AWOL?
710
00:58:01,895 --> 00:58:03,855
- No, I'm deserting.
- You idiot!
711
00:58:04,022 --> 00:58:06,649
You desert now,
it's a federal offense.
712
00:58:06,817 --> 00:58:09,193
- Come on.
- I'll take my chances with the feds.
713
00:58:09,361 --> 00:58:11,445
Get up. Come on.
You're not going anywhere.
714
00:58:11,613 --> 00:58:14,407
Now listen to me.
You're gonna finish basic training...
715
00:58:14,575 --> 00:58:17,577
you're gonna keep your mouth shut
and do everything he tells you.
716
00:58:17,744 --> 00:58:19,328
- And you know why?
- Why?
717
00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:24,250
Because you talked me into this,
that's why, you idiot! It was your idea!
718
00:58:24,418 --> 00:58:26,836
I didn't talk you into this.
You needed this.
719
00:58:27,004 --> 00:58:29,338
I'm gonna kill you! Damn you!
720
00:58:29,506 --> 00:58:33,259
Where's the great pay?
Where's the travel?
721
00:58:33,594 --> 00:58:37,722
Where's the Winnebago?
Goddamn it! Shit!
722
00:58:47,733 --> 00:58:49,984
This isn't what you think.
723
00:58:50,152 --> 00:58:51,736
No, we're just good friends.
724
00:58:52,946 --> 00:58:54,572
In the jeep.
725
00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:58,284
Come on. Let's go.
726
00:58:59,203 --> 00:59:02,496
I was going to the laundry,
get my uniform.
727
00:59:03,290 --> 00:59:04,624
Save it for later.
728
00:59:16,845 --> 00:59:19,513
Okay, guys, you're home.
Get out.
729
00:59:26,146 --> 00:59:29,106
You're not gonna report this
or anything, are you?
730
00:59:29,691 --> 00:59:32,318
I'm gonna treat it
like a UFO sighting.
731
00:59:32,486 --> 00:59:36,155
"I saw something, but I'm not
quite sure what it was."
732
00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:38,532
Thank you.
733
00:59:47,209 --> 00:59:48,960
Oh, goodbye.
734
01:00:19,533 --> 01:00:22,076
Move it! Do it!
735
01:00:30,210 --> 01:00:31,961
Why, boy...
736
01:00:33,046 --> 01:00:35,506
we got women can climb that
better than you. Get up!
737
01:00:35,674 --> 01:00:37,550
Get on your feet!
738
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:41,345
Hit it!
739
01:00:41,763 --> 01:00:44,473
He said he couldn't make it.
Why don't you do it?
740
01:00:51,648 --> 01:00:54,233
Take one step back, Winger.
741
01:00:54,401 --> 01:00:56,193
Move it!
742
01:01:13,462 --> 01:01:17,673
All right, soldier, let's see
how you fire that mortar.
743
01:01:18,675 --> 01:01:20,843
- What coordinates, sir?
- Coordinates?
744
01:01:22,095 --> 01:01:24,180
Yes, sir. They determine
where the mortar's...
745
01:01:24,348 --> 01:01:28,059
Soldier, the Army has spent a lot of
money teaching you how to fire that.
746
01:01:28,226 --> 01:01:30,853
Now set it and fire it.
747
01:01:31,021 --> 01:01:35,441
- We don't know where the shell's...
- The only way to learn is to do it!
748
01:01:35,859 --> 01:01:37,568
Now fire the weapon.
749
01:01:45,118 --> 01:01:47,036
All right!
750
01:01:47,204 --> 01:01:50,748
Any of you suckholes want to
come up here and knock me off?
751
01:01:54,711 --> 01:01:56,128
Oh, shit.
752
01:01:58,673 --> 01:02:00,091
Incoming!
753
01:02:24,616 --> 01:02:27,993
Sergeant, does this mean
we're through for the day?
754
01:02:31,289 --> 01:02:32,915
- Save your strength, sarge.
- Yeah.
755
01:02:33,083 --> 01:02:35,418
Get him off! Get him off!
756
01:02:47,305 --> 01:02:52,268
Men, I realize this tragic injury
to your drill sergeant is a real shock.
757
01:02:52,436 --> 01:02:55,729
Especially this close to the end
of basic training.
758
01:02:56,690 --> 01:03:00,985
As far as I'm concerned, Sergeant
Crocker's 100 percent responsible...
759
01:03:01,153 --> 01:03:02,653
for the entire thing.
760
01:03:02,821 --> 01:03:05,030
That's not what I heard.
761
01:03:05,198 --> 01:03:08,242
Who said that? Pick that up!
Who said that?
762
01:03:08,410 --> 01:03:10,035
- Did you say that?
- No, sir.
763
01:03:10,203 --> 01:03:13,164
- Did you say that? Who said...?
- I said that.
764
01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:16,083
Now, I don't care what you heard.
765
01:03:16,251 --> 01:03:19,587
My report states that Crocker was
negligent in his mortar instructions...
766
01:03:19,754 --> 01:03:21,797
and totally unable to control
his men.
767
01:03:21,965 --> 01:03:24,967
Have it your way, sir.
768
01:03:25,135 --> 01:03:26,510
You bet I will, soldier.
769
01:03:26,678 --> 01:03:28,971
I do not want to hear one more
insubordinate word...
770
01:03:29,139 --> 01:03:30,848
from anyone in this platoon.
771
01:03:31,016 --> 01:03:32,850
The subject is closed.
772
01:03:33,018 --> 01:03:35,603
You'd better stop worrying
about what happened to Hulka...
773
01:03:35,770 --> 01:03:39,732
and start worrying about how you're
going to pass muster at graduation.
774
01:03:40,066 --> 01:03:42,401
You've got three days
to get it together.
775
01:03:43,528 --> 01:03:46,447
And if you want my honest opinion...
776
01:03:48,074 --> 01:03:50,201
you're not gonna make it.
777
01:03:51,286 --> 01:03:52,786
No stragglers. Now come on.
778
01:03:52,954 --> 01:03:57,208
We owe it to Sergeant Hulka to end up
face down in the gutter tonight.
779
01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:59,084
Hey, baby, want to come
to my place?
780
01:03:59,252 --> 01:04:01,754
Where were you two blocks ago
when we could've used you?
781
01:04:01,922 --> 01:04:03,923
Come on. Don't waste it.
782
01:04:04,090 --> 01:04:06,884
All right, we're here! Come on.
783
01:04:07,093 --> 01:04:09,929
It's the Pom Pom. It's famous.
It's world-famous.
784
01:04:20,774 --> 01:04:22,733
This might be fun.
785
01:04:23,693 --> 01:04:25,152
Hi.
786
01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:55,140
Oh, amazing.
787
01:04:55,642 --> 01:04:58,185
I used to wrestle.
There's no tables.
788
01:04:58,353 --> 01:05:01,438
- Here's a table. Excuse me.
- Sounds good.
789
01:05:01,606 --> 01:05:04,316
- You wrestled? Nice seats.
- Yeah.
790
01:05:04,484 --> 01:05:06,777
Give me a kick, honey.
791
01:05:06,945 --> 01:05:08,404
Oh, parted my hair.
792
01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:14,451
Okay, girls, go get them!
793
01:05:46,693 --> 01:05:48,611
We're gonna start the bidding.
794
01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:51,989
I'm not gonna accept
anything less than $100.
795
01:05:52,157 --> 01:05:54,199
The bidding has gotta start.
Now give me 100.
796
01:05:54,367 --> 01:05:56,660
- You gotta do it for us, Ox.
- I can't.
797
01:05:56,828 --> 01:05:59,455
- You said you used to wrestle.
- I used to lose a lot.
798
01:05:59,623 --> 01:06:01,749
Yeah, but these are girls.
They're weak and soft.
799
01:06:01,916 --> 01:06:05,252
- I need 150!
- One-sixty!
800
01:06:05,420 --> 01:06:09,381
One-seventy-five now!
One-seventy-five here! One-eighty!
801
01:06:09,549 --> 01:06:11,884
- It doesn't seem fair.
- Fair?
802
01:06:12,052 --> 01:06:15,179
Who cares about fair?
The world isn't fair! Truth isn't fair!
803
01:06:15,347 --> 01:06:18,223
Is it fair that you were
born like this? No!
804
01:06:18,391 --> 01:06:21,977
They're not expecting somebody
like you. They're expecting a slug.
805
01:06:22,145 --> 01:06:25,439
You're different. You're weird.
You're a mutant. You're a killer!
806
01:06:25,607 --> 01:06:27,358
You're a trained killer!
807
01:06:27,525 --> 01:06:30,903
You're a lean, mean,
fighting machine!
808
01:06:31,071 --> 01:06:32,655
I'll do it!
809
01:06:32,822 --> 01:06:36,241
- All right. Give me your money.
- Four hundred and thirteen bucks!
810
01:06:36,409 --> 01:06:40,871
My man. My big man here
is gonna do it all for us...
811
01:06:41,039 --> 01:06:43,666
for $413...
812
01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:46,085
- And 58 cents.
- And 58 cents!
813
01:06:46,252 --> 01:06:50,756
Four hundred thirteen dollars
and 58 cents!
814
01:06:51,341 --> 01:06:53,258
I'll take that right now!
815
01:06:58,431 --> 01:07:01,225
Ladies and gentlemen,
the big event you've been waiting for.
816
01:07:01,393 --> 01:07:05,145
A three-round match,
five-minute time limit, one pin only.
817
01:07:05,313 --> 01:07:08,440
And during this match
there will be absolutely no biting.
818
01:07:09,192 --> 01:07:10,776
Cut that out! Cut that out!
819
01:07:10,944 --> 01:07:13,612
And no pulling of the nose.
820
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:17,366
Hey, do something about this, ref!
What kind of place you running here?
821
01:07:18,576 --> 01:07:21,120
And no kicking,
ladies and gentlemen.
822
01:07:21,287 --> 01:07:24,915
All right, go to your neutral corners,
and we will begin the match!
823
01:07:39,431 --> 01:07:41,598
Hey, wait a minute! Wait! Hey!
824
01:07:43,518 --> 01:07:45,310
Hey, just a second here!
825
01:07:55,947 --> 01:07:57,573
Oh, jeez! Now you done it.
826
01:08:02,996 --> 01:08:04,705
Beat the shit out of them, Ox!
827
01:08:04,873 --> 01:08:09,126
- You hit me! I'm a girl!
- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hit you!
828
01:08:12,797 --> 01:08:15,132
That's my man out there!
My champ! Now stop it!
829
01:08:22,015 --> 01:08:25,017
Behind you!
Hey, she's not even in the fight.
830
01:08:43,620 --> 01:08:45,913
Cut that out. Cut that out.
831
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:48,040
You get in here. Come on.
832
01:08:48,208 --> 01:08:49,958
I'm a gentleman. Now stop it.
833
01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:51,543
All right.
834
01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:53,754
Okay, all right.
835
01:08:53,922 --> 01:08:55,130
- Thanks.
- No problem.
836
01:08:55,298 --> 01:08:57,591
- Thanks again.
- Okay, all right.
837
01:08:57,759 --> 01:08:59,968
- You're very competitive.
- I don't wanna go back.
838
01:09:00,136 --> 01:09:03,222
You gotta go back.
You're already dirty. Come on.
839
01:09:04,557 --> 01:09:06,558
All right, there you go.
840
01:09:26,996 --> 01:09:29,414
They got him down
and they got him pinned!
841
01:09:36,381 --> 01:09:38,381
Bravo Company!
842
01:09:44,597 --> 01:09:46,223
Go, man!
843
01:09:53,189 --> 01:09:55,607
Way to go, Ox! Kill them!
844
01:10:24,387 --> 01:10:27,347
- Should we?
- Yeah. Let's go.
845
01:10:33,146 --> 01:10:35,022
We'll take care of these two.
846
01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:37,816
It's okay. Special assignment.
847
01:10:37,984 --> 01:10:39,443
Yeah, we're with them.
848
01:10:39,611 --> 01:10:43,322
Louise, it's so nice to see you.
What are you doing here?
849
01:10:45,992 --> 01:10:48,827
Well, explain yourselves.
850
01:10:52,624 --> 01:10:55,667
Well, sir, we were...
851
01:10:55,835 --> 01:10:57,753
We were going
to the Bingo parlor...
852
01:10:57,921 --> 01:10:59,963
at the YMCA.
853
01:11:00,131 --> 01:11:02,758
Well, one thing led to another...
854
01:11:02,926 --> 01:11:05,344
and the instructions
got all fouled up there.
855
01:11:05,511 --> 01:11:07,846
- We ended up...
- Shut up.
856
01:11:08,014 --> 01:11:09,514
Okay, sir.
857
01:11:12,477 --> 01:11:15,771
You men are a disgrace.
858
01:11:17,941 --> 01:11:22,027
Maybe a few days
in the stockade...
859
01:11:22,528 --> 01:11:26,615
would help change
your rotten attitude.
860
01:11:26,866 --> 01:11:29,701
But we're supposed to
graduate tomorrow, sir.
861
01:11:31,162 --> 01:11:32,746
That's even better.
862
01:11:35,124 --> 01:11:39,211
Tomorrow you'll be on parade
in front of General Barnicke.
863
01:11:41,089 --> 01:11:44,549
And when he sees
what total fuck-ups you really are...
864
01:11:45,259 --> 01:11:47,552
I will personally recommend...
865
01:11:48,054 --> 01:11:50,055
that your whole platoon...
866
01:11:50,223 --> 01:11:54,226
repeat the entire course
of basic training.
867
01:12:08,116 --> 01:12:09,741
Well, get out.
868
01:12:20,294 --> 01:12:23,255
All right, now this is the second time
we've let you guys off.
869
01:12:23,423 --> 01:12:26,258
So let's not let it happen a third time.
Is that clear?
870
01:12:26,426 --> 01:12:29,803
- Very clear.
- Get back to your barracks, all right?
871
01:12:29,971 --> 01:12:32,097
- Good night.
- Good night.
872
01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:35,058
So, what are you guys gonna do?
873
01:12:35,518 --> 01:12:38,937
We're gonna check out General
Barnicke's house. He's in Washington.
874
01:12:39,105 --> 01:12:40,605
Barnicke?
875
01:12:41,357 --> 01:12:42,733
Barnicke?!
876
01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:45,944
He still owes me money.
Hey, Barney!
877
01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:49,281
Get him!
878
01:12:50,116 --> 01:12:51,783
Mom! I'm home!
879
01:12:52,744 --> 01:12:53,994
John!
880
01:12:54,662 --> 01:12:58,623
- No, no.
- Now, don't worry about a thing, okay?
881
01:12:58,791 --> 01:13:01,168
Oh, this is nice, really.
882
01:13:02,754 --> 01:13:06,006
Listen, if this is gonna get you
in trouble, we'll leave. All right?
883
01:13:06,174 --> 01:13:09,551
No, it's okay. General Barnicke's
gone until tomorrow morning.
884
01:13:09,719 --> 01:13:11,136
Good.
885
01:13:13,431 --> 01:13:14,848
Thank you.
886
01:13:16,142 --> 01:13:19,227
I feel like I'm 16 years old
in my parents' house...
887
01:13:19,395 --> 01:13:21,605
and they're away on a trip.
888
01:13:21,773 --> 01:13:24,649
Sixteen?
Wanna play Spin the Bottle?
889
01:13:24,984 --> 01:13:26,943
This guy's doing pretty well.
Interested?
890
01:13:27,111 --> 01:13:30,072
All right, you've looked at
the general's refrigerator long enough.
891
01:13:30,239 --> 01:13:33,325
- Let's go. Come on.
- Let's look at the general's cupboards.
892
01:13:33,493 --> 01:13:35,160
John!
893
01:13:35,995 --> 01:13:39,623
You know, you're very pretty...
894
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:43,126
- For a cop.
- Oh, thanks a lot.
895
01:13:43,294 --> 01:13:45,629
No, thank you. You know
what your problem is, baby?
896
01:13:45,797 --> 01:13:47,923
- No, I don't.
- Your problem is that you're armed.
897
01:13:48,091 --> 01:13:49,341
You're heavily armed.
898
01:13:49,509 --> 01:13:51,802
Guys have trouble with girls
that are armed.
899
01:13:51,969 --> 01:13:55,138
They don't know how to come on.
Do you know the rest of your problem?
900
01:13:55,306 --> 01:13:56,306
Tell me.
901
01:13:56,474 --> 01:13:59,059
You've never had anyone give you
the Aunt Jemima treatment.
902
01:13:59,227 --> 01:14:02,938
- No, I certainly haven't had that.
- First you get up on the grill.
903
01:14:04,357 --> 01:14:06,817
- I'll get you up to cruising speed.
- Stop it!
904
01:14:06,984 --> 01:14:11,196
You're sticking on the bottom, dear.
Keep hopping. Keep hopping, honey!
905
01:14:11,364 --> 01:14:14,032
There you go. A little bit lumpy.
You're a little bit lumpy.
906
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,493
A little bit lumpy.
907
01:14:16,661 --> 01:14:20,038
- I'm not enjoying this! Now quit it!
- You're not?
908
01:14:20,206 --> 01:14:22,040
Maybe you need this.
909
01:14:23,209 --> 01:14:26,586
- What are you gonna do with that?
- This. And this.
910
01:14:29,715 --> 01:14:32,425
Who's your friend?
Who's your buddy?
911
01:14:32,593 --> 01:14:33,635
I am, aren't I?
912
01:14:33,803 --> 01:14:35,720
- You're crazy about me, aren't you?
- No.
913
01:14:35,888 --> 01:14:37,764
You're head over heels in love
with me.
914
01:14:38,015 --> 01:14:40,976
You're hopelessly, deeply in love
with me, aren't you?
915
01:14:41,144 --> 01:14:42,435
Yes.
916
01:14:43,396 --> 01:14:46,148
I knew it. I had that feeling.
917
01:14:46,315 --> 01:14:48,733
Even before I picked this up.
918
01:14:50,069 --> 01:14:52,070
It's about time you came around.
919
01:14:52,864 --> 01:14:54,656
So, what do we do now?
920
01:14:55,491 --> 01:14:58,577
Let's go upstairs
and check out the general's closets.
921
01:15:02,415 --> 01:15:04,749
Nice to know you can
move like that when you have to.
922
01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:07,919
Well, it's nice to know
you can make me so hot.
923
01:15:08,087 --> 01:15:09,921
You say the nicest things.
924
01:15:10,089 --> 01:15:13,258
Hold on, honey.
I got a special tool for you.
925
01:15:13,426 --> 01:15:14,968
Come here.
926
01:15:17,805 --> 01:15:20,265
I can't believe we're playing this.
927
01:15:20,433 --> 01:15:23,518
- Okay, down on your knees.
- Sounds good.
928
01:15:24,770 --> 01:15:27,522
All right, now the way
that you play it is...
929
01:15:27,690 --> 01:15:31,109
you pretend there's a force field
all around your body...
930
01:15:31,527 --> 01:15:35,363
and you try and get as close
to each other as possible...
931
01:15:35,531 --> 01:15:38,074
without actually touching.
932
01:15:38,242 --> 01:15:40,827
- Okay?
- It sounds easy.
933
01:15:42,788 --> 01:15:44,706
It ought to be.
934
01:15:51,964 --> 01:15:54,132
I think I'm good at this.
935
01:15:54,300 --> 01:15:56,301
Maybe.
936
01:15:56,469 --> 01:15:58,303
How do you win?
937
01:15:58,471 --> 01:16:01,640
Well, if somebody breaks
your force field, then you win.
938
01:16:03,601 --> 01:16:06,519
- You just broke my force field.
- Yeah, you win.
939
01:16:19,075 --> 01:16:21,618
Well, that was interesting.
940
01:16:23,246 --> 01:16:27,499
It's all over with now. We might as well
not even show up to graduation.
941
01:16:27,667 --> 01:16:30,085
You white guys'll probably
get five years.
942
01:16:30,253 --> 01:16:32,087
- But we gonna get hung.
- Yeah, man.
943
01:16:32,255 --> 01:16:34,965
Guys! Hey!
944
01:16:39,178 --> 01:16:40,804
What's everybody so down about?
945
01:16:40,972 --> 01:16:43,556
Didn't everybody make it
with a beautiful MP tonight?
946
01:16:43,724 --> 01:16:47,602
Oh, Stillman freaked out
when the MPs brought us back.
947
01:16:47,770 --> 01:16:50,855
If we screw up graduation, we'll
have to take basics all over again.
948
01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:53,817
Oh, Cruise, it's been a lot of fun
the first time, hasn't it?
949
01:16:53,985 --> 01:16:56,695
I can't handle
basic training again, man.
950
01:17:00,283 --> 01:17:03,326
You're number one
on the death list now, Winger.
951
01:17:05,621 --> 01:17:08,373
Take it easy, Francis... Psycho.
952
01:17:10,751 --> 01:17:14,045
Will you guys just relax? We got
plenty of time. What time is it now?
953
01:17:14,213 --> 01:17:16,506
- Two a.m.
- Okay, 0200.
954
01:17:16,674 --> 01:17:18,925
- What time we get up?
- Five a.m.
955
01:17:19,427 --> 01:17:24,264
0500. All right, we have three hours.
Didn't you ever cram for a test before?
956
01:17:26,684 --> 01:17:29,019
I learned two semesters
of geology in three hours.
957
01:17:29,186 --> 01:17:31,187
We can do this.
We just have to practice.
958
01:17:31,647 --> 01:17:34,232
We've been practicing all night,
and we stink.
959
01:17:34,692 --> 01:17:38,278
- Yeah, well, the brains have arrived.
- Yeah, that's good news.
960
01:17:38,988 --> 01:17:40,363
We go down to the motor pool.
961
01:17:40,531 --> 01:17:42,657
We work on it all night.
We get it together.
962
01:17:42,825 --> 01:17:46,411
- We can do this, right?
- There's no way in hell we can do it.
963
01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:48,747
Right shoulder, arms!
964
01:17:51,042 --> 01:17:53,543
Forward, arms!
965
01:17:53,711 --> 01:17:55,879
Inspection, arms!
966
01:17:57,965 --> 01:18:00,050
Right shoulder, arms!
967
01:18:01,385 --> 01:18:03,636
Right face!
968
01:18:04,305 --> 01:18:08,224
Your left, your left, your left.
969
01:18:08,392 --> 01:18:10,685
Come on, rhythm.
Hut, two, three, four.
970
01:18:10,853 --> 01:18:12,771
Black guys,
help the white guys, okay?
971
01:18:12,938 --> 01:18:16,775
- What did he say?
- He said the black guys...
972
01:18:16,942 --> 01:18:19,319
help the white guys.
973
01:18:20,279 --> 01:18:22,197
Come on, guys!
974
01:18:22,365 --> 01:18:24,282
Wait a minute!
975
01:18:27,536 --> 01:18:29,788
Cut it out! Stop!
976
01:18:29,955 --> 01:18:32,040
Hey, stupid, look at yourself!
977
01:18:32,208 --> 01:18:36,836
Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out!
978
01:18:37,630 --> 01:18:40,131
What the hell's
the matter with you?
979
01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:42,300
Stupid!
980
01:18:43,969 --> 01:18:45,970
We're all very different people.
981
01:18:46,138 --> 01:18:49,015
We're not Watusi.
We're not Spartans.
982
01:18:49,183 --> 01:18:52,477
We're Americans.
With a capital A?
983
01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:54,604
You know what that means?
984
01:18:55,022 --> 01:18:57,857
Do you? That means
that our forefathers...
985
01:18:58,025 --> 01:19:01,694
were kicked out of every
decent country in the world.
986
01:19:01,862 --> 01:19:05,490
We are the wretched refuse.
987
01:19:07,493 --> 01:19:10,620
We're the underdog.
We're mutts.
988
01:19:10,788 --> 01:19:14,666
- Here's proof. His nose is cold.
- So is his brain.
989
01:19:14,834 --> 01:19:17,877
But there's no animal
that's more faithful...
990
01:19:18,045 --> 01:19:22,507
that's more loyal,
more lovable than the mutt.
991
01:19:22,675 --> 01:19:24,884
Who saw Old Yeller?
992
01:19:27,847 --> 01:19:30,974
Who cried when Old Yeller
got shot at the end?
993
01:19:31,725 --> 01:19:35,770
Nobody cried when Old Yeller
got shot? I'm sure.
994
01:19:37,648 --> 01:19:40,024
I cried my eyes out.
995
01:19:40,192 --> 01:19:41,526
Yeah.
996
01:19:42,027 --> 01:19:45,155
So we're all dogfaces.
We're all very, very different.
997
01:19:45,322 --> 01:19:48,158
But there is one thing
that we all have in common.
998
01:19:48,325 --> 01:19:53,163
We were all stupid enough
to enlist in the Army.
999
01:19:53,330 --> 01:19:54,747
We're mutants.
1000
01:19:55,082 --> 01:19:59,586
There's something wrong with us,
something very, very wrong with us.
1001
01:19:59,753 --> 01:20:02,046
Something seriously wrong with us.
1002
01:20:02,214 --> 01:20:06,050
We're soldiers,
but we're American soldiers.
1003
01:20:06,218 --> 01:20:10,763
We've been kicking ass for 200 years!
We're 10 and 1!
1004
01:20:12,933 --> 01:20:15,768
Now we don't have to worry...
1005
01:20:15,936 --> 01:20:18,897
about whether or not
we've practiced.
1006
01:20:19,064 --> 01:20:20,899
We don't have to worry...
1007
01:20:21,066 --> 01:20:23,776
about whether Captain Stillman
wants to have us hung.
1008
01:20:23,944 --> 01:20:26,446
All we have to do...
1009
01:20:26,614 --> 01:20:30,408
is to be the great American
fighting soldier...
1010
01:20:31,327 --> 01:20:34,037
that is inside each one of us.
1011
01:20:35,498 --> 01:20:37,415
Now, do what I do...
1012
01:20:39,460 --> 01:20:42,420
and say what I say...
1013
01:20:45,382 --> 01:20:47,592
and make me proud.
1014
01:20:49,094 --> 01:20:52,055
- Fall in!
- Yeah!
1015
01:20:53,265 --> 01:20:54,724
Platoon...
1016
01:20:56,727 --> 01:20:58,645
ten-hut!
1017
01:21:00,940 --> 01:21:03,650
Right shoulder, ho!
1018
01:21:05,194 --> 01:21:07,111
Order, ho!
1019
01:21:30,177 --> 01:21:32,136
Maybe they couldn't find
the parade grounds.
1020
01:21:32,304 --> 01:21:35,139
- It's right in front of the barracks.
- That's what I mean.
1021
01:21:43,857 --> 01:21:46,150
Eyes right!
1022
01:21:48,988 --> 01:21:51,155
We checked the barracks, sir.
They're not there.
1023
01:21:51,323 --> 01:21:55,159
If they're not here in five minutes,
I want them arrested.
1024
01:22:07,506 --> 01:22:11,092
Hey, graduation's at 2:00.
What time is it now?
1025
01:22:12,886 --> 01:22:15,013
Three o'clock. We've still got
an hour to sleep.
1026
01:22:15,180 --> 01:22:17,140
Oh, good.
1027
01:22:17,308 --> 01:22:20,268
Three o'clock! We're missing it!
1028
01:22:21,437 --> 01:22:25,064
John! John!
We're missing graduation.
1029
01:22:25,232 --> 01:22:27,942
- We're missing it.
- Let's go.
1030
01:22:28,110 --> 01:22:30,028
Wake up, man! We're missing it.
1031
01:23:00,100 --> 01:23:02,060
Where is it?
1032
01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:55,113
All right, let's do
a little singing this morning.
1033
01:24:08,460 --> 01:24:10,670
Oh, my God!
1034
01:24:36,363 --> 01:24:37,989
Platoon...
1035
01:24:40,159 --> 01:24:42,368
a-one, two:
1036
01:24:50,627 --> 01:24:53,379
Where the hell
have you been, soldier?
1037
01:24:53,547 --> 01:24:56,674
- Training, sir!
- Training, sir!
1038
01:24:56,967 --> 01:24:58,760
What kind of training, son?
1039
01:24:58,927 --> 01:25:03,347
Army training, sir!
1040
01:25:04,183 --> 01:25:07,727
Platoon, just like last night,
only better!
1041
01:25:07,895 --> 01:25:11,439
And right shoulder, ho!
1042
01:25:13,317 --> 01:25:15,234
Order, ho!
1043
01:25:16,737 --> 01:25:18,404
Side step right!
1044
01:25:30,042 --> 01:25:32,293
Left flank, left!
1045
01:25:37,216 --> 01:25:39,675
Queen Anne salute!
1046
01:25:41,553 --> 01:25:43,930
Three, five, seven!
1047
01:25:49,353 --> 01:25:51,354
Razzle-dazzle!
1048
01:25:51,522 --> 01:25:53,898
Hut, two, three, four!
1049
01:25:55,192 --> 01:25:56,859
Hut, two, three, four.
1050
01:25:57,027 --> 01:26:01,405
The quick brown fox jumped
over the lazy dog, sir!
1051
01:26:13,669 --> 01:26:17,922
- Where's your drill sergeant, men?
- Blown up, sir!
1052
01:26:18,090 --> 01:26:19,966
Blown up, sir!
1053
01:26:21,969 --> 01:26:26,722
Sir, these are Sergeant Hulka's men.
He was injured during basic training.
1054
01:26:26,890 --> 01:26:28,599
I see.
1055
01:26:28,767 --> 01:26:32,186
So am I to understand that you men
completed your training on your own?
1056
01:26:32,354 --> 01:26:35,940
- That's the fact, Jack!
- That's the fact, Jack!
1057
01:26:36,275 --> 01:26:37,942
- Captain.
- Yes, sir?
1058
01:26:38,193 --> 01:26:40,069
These are exactly
the kind of go-getters...
1059
01:26:40,237 --> 01:26:42,947
I want working on my EM-50
project in Italy.
1060
01:26:44,074 --> 01:26:46,701
- Oh, but, sir, these men...
- Don't "but" me, captain.
1061
01:26:46,869 --> 01:26:49,537
I want them on the plane tonight.
1062
01:26:50,455 --> 01:26:54,083
Gentlemen, it's party time,
Italian style!
1063
01:27:15,314 --> 01:27:17,315
Not bad! It's great.
1064
01:27:18,150 --> 01:27:22,278
Best bunk? Best bunk is...
1065
01:27:22,446 --> 01:27:24,405
Best bunk, right here.
1066
01:27:26,491 --> 01:27:29,410
- Okay, who's up for the Vatican?
- No, I can't.
1067
01:27:29,578 --> 01:27:32,830
Let's get some people
and some relics, and we'll do it.
1068
01:27:33,832 --> 01:27:37,877
What are you doing? No, get off.
See, you gotta make my bunk.
1069
01:27:38,045 --> 01:27:40,129
See, we're in ltaly.
The guy on the top bunk...
1070
01:27:40,297 --> 01:27:43,466
has gotta make the guy
on the bottom's bed all the time.
1071
01:27:43,634 --> 01:27:45,801
It's in the regulations.
If we were in Germany...
1072
01:27:45,969 --> 01:27:47,303
I would have to make yours.
1073
01:27:47,471 --> 01:27:50,306
But we're in Italy, so you've
gotta make mine. It's regulations.
1074
01:27:51,183 --> 01:27:53,184
Who's gonna make the beds?
1075
01:27:53,352 --> 01:27:56,187
Buona sera, gentlemen.
1076
01:27:58,148 --> 01:28:00,816
It is alive.
1077
01:28:11,370 --> 01:28:13,287
Welcome to Italy.
1078
01:28:14,790 --> 01:28:18,084
We can forget all about
the tearful reunion.
1079
01:28:19,294 --> 01:28:23,631
There's a couple things I want to get
straight with you right off the bat.
1080
01:28:23,799 --> 01:28:27,635
I don't know what kind of shit
you pulled at graduation...
1081
01:28:27,803 --> 01:28:31,055
but this ain't
no glamour detail we're on.
1082
01:28:31,848 --> 01:28:33,766
I want to see you walking tall...
1083
01:28:33,934 --> 01:28:36,978
looking good and mentally alert
at all times.
1084
01:28:37,396 --> 01:28:38,729
I'm gonna bust your butts...
1085
01:28:38,897 --> 01:28:42,483
to make this the best damned outfit
in the European command.
1086
01:28:44,820 --> 01:28:49,156
Get these bunks made up!
Get your gear stored!
1087
01:28:49,324 --> 01:28:52,868
We're gonna muster in front
of the motor pool at 0600! Got it?
1088
01:28:53,620 --> 01:28:55,246
Hi, sarge.
1089
01:28:57,249 --> 01:29:00,167
"Hi, sarge." Just shut up.
1090
01:29:00,335 --> 01:29:02,169
0600!
1091
01:29:15,267 --> 01:29:17,184
As you may know,
General Barnicke...
1092
01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:20,062
is particularly interested
in this project.
1093
01:29:21,356 --> 01:29:25,776
He has selected this platoon
for this assignment...
1094
01:29:26,862 --> 01:29:30,197
and he expects you to perform
particularly well.
1095
01:29:31,616 --> 01:29:33,576
Raise it, sergeant.
1096
01:29:36,872 --> 01:29:41,500
Gentlemen, this is the EM-50
Urban Assault Vehicle.
1097
01:29:48,592 --> 01:29:52,053
A real beauty, colonel.
You can count on us.
1098
01:30:01,688 --> 01:30:03,272
Fall in!
1099
01:30:08,862 --> 01:30:11,447
I need two volunteers.
1100
01:30:11,615 --> 01:30:12,990
You and you.
1101
01:30:13,158 --> 01:30:16,786
You'll guard this vehicle
until 0800 on Monday morning...
1102
01:30:16,953 --> 01:30:19,455
and the rest of you
got the weekend off. Dismissed!
1103
01:30:26,922 --> 01:30:30,299
- Sarge, why me?
- Oh, I don't know, son.
1104
01:30:30,467 --> 01:30:33,761
I ain't got no military reason for it,
I just don't like you.
1105
01:30:34,554 --> 01:30:36,806
Have a nice weekend.
1106
01:30:37,557 --> 01:30:42,269
Oh, yeah. I want that so clean
I could eat off the floor.
1107
01:30:51,113 --> 01:30:55,825
This is amazing. You wouldn't believe
what this thing could do.
1108
01:31:00,539 --> 01:31:04,166
John.
1109
01:31:05,377 --> 01:31:09,255
- Do you think I'm officer material?
- God, I'm worried about you.
1110
01:31:09,422 --> 01:31:11,799
Come on. I'm in good shape.
I'm walking tall.
1111
01:31:11,967 --> 01:31:14,844
I'm looking good.
First weekend in Europe.
1112
01:31:15,011 --> 01:31:19,056
Yeah. We're spending it in
an airplane hangar watching a truck.
1113
01:31:19,224 --> 01:31:20,724
We got each other.
1114
01:31:20,892 --> 01:31:24,061
Well, I was kind of thinking we'd get
a couple companions this weekend.
1115
01:31:24,271 --> 01:31:26,313
Too bad the girls
are in Germany.
1116
01:31:26,481 --> 01:31:27,773
We could get...
1117
01:31:27,941 --> 01:31:29,775
- A hotel room somewhere.
- Yeah.
1118
01:31:29,943 --> 01:31:31,777
Spend a couple days
eating room service.
1119
01:31:31,945 --> 01:31:33,737
Would've been good.
1120
01:31:33,905 --> 01:31:37,825
We could take them up in the Alps
for a little spin.
1121
01:31:43,748 --> 01:31:45,082
- No.
- Oh, yeah.
1122
01:31:45,250 --> 01:31:47,751
- No, no, no.
- Oh, yeah.
1123
01:31:47,919 --> 01:31:51,088
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- No, no. No, John, no.
1124
01:31:51,256 --> 01:31:53,090
- I'll drive.
- Okay.
1125
01:32:00,098 --> 01:32:01,599
We're here.
1126
01:32:01,766 --> 01:32:04,268
Don't forget, you promised me
a real expensive dinner...
1127
01:32:04,436 --> 01:32:06,854
before we see this
whatever it is.
1128
01:32:07,022 --> 01:32:08,689
Right.
1129
01:32:13,945 --> 01:32:15,863
Come with me, my dear.
1130
01:32:23,288 --> 01:32:27,625
Now, don't forget, this is a big secret,
so you can't tell anybody, okay?
1131
01:32:27,792 --> 01:32:31,420
- Not unless they torture me.
- Come on.
1132
01:32:32,380 --> 01:32:35,633
- Official business.
- May I see your identification, sir?
1133
01:32:35,800 --> 01:32:37,927
Thank you, captain.
1134
01:32:38,094 --> 01:32:41,430
Yeah. Just follow me.
1135
01:32:44,976 --> 01:32:48,896
When the Army entrusts an important
project like this to an officer...
1136
01:32:49,064 --> 01:32:53,943
it usually means they're priming him
for a major promotion.
1137
01:32:58,823 --> 01:33:02,868
- I really think you're gonna like this.
- Yeah?
1138
01:33:11,002 --> 01:33:15,172
- Are you gonna get sick or something?
- Where the fuck's my truck? Where...?
1139
01:33:16,675 --> 01:33:18,676
Where's my truck? Hey!
1140
01:33:19,302 --> 01:33:22,012
Hey, where's the EM-50?
1141
01:33:22,180 --> 01:33:24,723
A couple of soldiers took it
to get it washed, sir.
1142
01:33:24,891 --> 01:33:26,517
Took it to get it washed?!
1143
01:33:26,685 --> 01:33:29,353
Is there a bathroom around here?
I gotta pee.
1144
01:33:29,521 --> 01:33:31,355
- Hold it!
- They had proper ID, sir.
1145
01:33:31,523 --> 01:33:34,358
Do you want me to notify
post security, sir?
1146
01:33:34,526 --> 01:33:37,194
You keep your mouth shut about this.
Do you understand me?
1147
01:33:37,362 --> 01:33:40,781
And you let no one in there.
No one! Not even the colonel!
1148
01:33:40,949 --> 01:33:42,199
Yes, sir.
1149
01:33:47,330 --> 01:33:49,832
You know, I think this guy
Stillman is really dangerous.
1150
01:33:50,000 --> 01:33:52,167
Yeah, I'm becoming
aware of that, you know.
1151
01:33:54,337 --> 01:33:57,381
Okay, let's go.
Let's load that truck.
1152
01:33:57,549 --> 01:33:58,966
Sergeant.
1153
01:34:00,176 --> 01:34:01,719
We've traced the EM-50 to Germany.
1154
01:34:01,886 --> 01:34:04,096
They're probably heading
right for East Berlin.
1155
01:34:04,264 --> 01:34:07,349
Sir, if you'll take my advice,
there's a crack squad in the 42nd...
1156
01:34:07,517 --> 01:34:09,143
that could link up
with Air Recon.
1157
01:34:09,311 --> 01:34:11,645
We'd have that EM-50 back here
inside of 24 hours.
1158
01:34:11,813 --> 01:34:14,106
Nothing doing.
We'd be the laughingstock...
1159
01:34:14,274 --> 01:34:17,109
of the entire armed forces.
We will do this ourselves.
1160
01:34:17,277 --> 01:34:19,945
Sir, those numb-nuts can't
even tie their own shoelaces.
1161
01:34:20,113 --> 01:34:23,866
I don't care, sergeant. Just load
the truck, and let's move out.
1162
01:34:25,035 --> 01:34:27,369
All right, we're moving out!
Move!
1163
01:34:28,955 --> 01:34:30,831
I guess we're going after
John and Russell.
1164
01:34:30,999 --> 01:34:33,417
I can't believe
they're Russian spies. Can you?
1165
01:34:33,585 --> 01:34:36,920
All I know is,
I finally get to kill somebody.
1166
01:34:57,942 --> 01:34:59,777
Hey, Russell.
1167
01:35:01,279 --> 01:35:03,697
Have you been doing
your special exercises?
1168
01:35:03,865 --> 01:35:06,575
- I brought the magic suitcase.
- You did?
1169
01:35:06,910 --> 01:35:09,787
Does this do anything for you?
French girls do it all the time.
1170
01:35:09,954 --> 01:35:11,789
No. I've seen that.
1171
01:35:12,457 --> 01:35:15,292
I've seen that on cable TV,
and it did nothing for me.
1172
01:35:15,460 --> 01:35:17,920
Hey, watch it. A guy could get hurt.
1173
01:35:21,424 --> 01:35:24,885
- My gosh, my gosh.
- Come on, John.
1174
01:35:25,720 --> 01:35:27,679
- Come on.
- I'll do it!
1175
01:35:27,847 --> 01:35:30,140
But just one more time.
1176
01:35:31,476 --> 01:35:33,936
Off the low meter board.
1177
01:35:34,521 --> 01:35:38,148
From the United States
Military Academy, John Winger.
1178
01:35:38,608 --> 01:35:40,567
He's gonna do a reverse mo-fo.
1179
01:35:44,489 --> 01:35:46,990
A somersault up to the knees,
to a butt banister...
1180
01:35:47,158 --> 01:35:48,450
a backflip...
1181
01:35:48,618 --> 01:35:50,452
all the way back,
a double backflip.
1182
01:35:50,620 --> 01:35:53,664
A face bounce!
A double face bounce!
1183
01:35:53,832 --> 01:35:56,667
A triple head! Oh, no!
Oh, he's hurt!
1184
01:35:58,670 --> 01:36:00,254
That does sound nice.
1185
01:36:00,422 --> 01:36:02,548
You know, my father was here
during the war.
1186
01:36:02,715 --> 01:36:05,759
- In this bathtub?
- Your ears need cleaning.
1187
01:36:05,927 --> 01:36:10,347
Easy. Louise,
what do you think of me?
1188
01:36:10,849 --> 01:36:14,977
When we first met, I thought
you were kind of screwed up.
1189
01:36:16,479 --> 01:36:17,771
And now?
1190
01:36:17,939 --> 01:36:20,691
I still think you're kind of screwed up,
Russell...
1191
01:36:20,859 --> 01:36:23,360
but you're so cute.
1192
01:36:23,528 --> 01:36:25,446
- A face bounce...
- John.
1193
01:36:25,613 --> 01:36:27,614
A dismount...
1194
01:36:28,533 --> 01:36:30,659
and a remount.
1195
01:36:30,952 --> 01:36:32,369
John!
1196
01:36:33,955 --> 01:36:36,081
How's this? How's this?
1197
01:36:36,458 --> 01:36:37,875
- How's this for you?
- Perfect.
1198
01:36:38,042 --> 01:36:40,878
- Is this good? Is this good?
- It's great. Oh, it's perfect.
1199
01:36:41,045 --> 01:36:45,007
- What about this? How about this?
- That's better. Oh, so much better.
1200
01:36:45,967 --> 01:36:47,593
Oh, I like that.
1201
01:36:48,136 --> 01:36:49,470
That's different.
1202
01:36:54,309 --> 01:36:57,769
Oh, where did you learn that?
Oh, where did you learn that?
1203
01:37:00,565 --> 01:37:04,526
Oh, not yet. Please, not yet!
Oh, please!
1204
01:37:04,694 --> 01:37:07,529
I can't stop! Please!
1205
01:37:08,740 --> 01:37:11,450
Oh, I wanted it... Oh, I'm sorry!
1206
01:37:12,327 --> 01:37:16,246
- I can't see a thing up ahead, sir.
- The turnoff is just up to the right.
1207
01:37:16,414 --> 01:37:18,248
No, sir. If we turn right,
we're gonna...
1208
01:37:18,416 --> 01:37:23,295
Sergeant, when I want your input,
I will ask for it. Thank you.
1209
01:38:13,012 --> 01:38:15,180
For chrissakes, captain.
We broke through the...
1210
01:38:15,348 --> 01:38:19,851
This is my mission. I would appreciate
if you let me run it. Thank you.
1211
01:38:22,105 --> 01:38:23,105
Fuck this.
1212
01:38:34,325 --> 01:38:36,994
- Where you going, sarge?
- Hey, sarge, where are you going?
1213
01:38:37,161 --> 01:38:39,997
Sarge, what are you doing?
Sarge, what are you doing?!
1214
01:39:20,580 --> 01:39:24,708
Here you go. There you go.
Hand them off there, boys.
1215
01:39:24,876 --> 01:39:26,835
Stupid jerks.
1216
01:40:24,268 --> 01:40:26,937
Gunther, get yourself
a new Volkswagen?
1217
01:40:28,356 --> 01:40:32,150
Folks, don't order the schnitzel.
They're using schnauzer.
1218
01:40:33,569 --> 01:40:36,655
Hey, Hansel, Gretel!
Hey, we're your allies.
1219
01:40:36,823 --> 01:40:39,366
It's cool. All right.
1220
01:40:39,534 --> 01:40:42,369
All right, Klaus,
hold it up right here.
1221
01:40:42,537 --> 01:40:45,122
We got some naked animals in here
we don't want you to see.
1222
01:40:45,289 --> 01:40:46,832
Here you are.
1223
01:40:49,210 --> 01:40:51,002
- More worthless money for you.
- Come on.
1224
01:40:51,170 --> 01:40:54,089
- All right.
- Hey, did you leave the radio on?
1225
01:40:54,257 --> 01:40:56,049
- What?
- That's the shortwave radio.
1226
01:40:56,342 --> 01:40:58,135
This is the EM-50?
1227
01:41:03,808 --> 01:41:05,976
Mayday, mayday.
1228
01:41:06,602 --> 01:41:11,231
Mayday. Code 21, Status 7.
Mayday. Code 21, Status 7.
1229
01:41:11,399 --> 01:41:13,024
Code 21. Go ahead.
1230
01:41:13,192 --> 01:41:17,696
I'm with the U.S. Army, 41st
Armored Division, Bravo Company.
1231
01:41:17,864 --> 01:41:21,116
I have a platoon and CO
being held by hostile enemy...
1232
01:41:21,284 --> 01:41:25,996
at coordinates 416-397.
1233
01:41:26,164 --> 01:41:29,040
They're Russian troops,
about 200.
1234
01:41:29,208 --> 01:41:32,335
Send help. I gotta get moving.
1235
01:41:33,546 --> 01:41:36,923
416-397. That's Czechoslovakia.
1236
01:41:38,259 --> 01:41:41,553
- Forty-first Armored?
- Yeah, Bravo Company.
1237
01:41:43,431 --> 01:41:46,308
- That's our unit.
- Oh, no.
1238
01:41:46,601 --> 01:41:49,853
- They came looking for us.
- Oh, they've had it.
1239
01:41:50,021 --> 01:41:51,688
We've had it.
1240
01:41:51,856 --> 01:41:54,691
If it's a Status 7 like you said,
they went in undercover.
1241
01:41:54,859 --> 01:41:57,694
So the DOD won't even
acknowledge it.
1242
01:41:57,862 --> 01:41:59,738
Those guys are dead.
1243
01:42:01,282 --> 01:42:03,074
- We gotta go get them.
- Yeah.
1244
01:42:03,242 --> 01:42:06,203
- No.
- We're responsible.
1245
01:42:06,370 --> 01:42:08,580
- Russell.
- Come on, it's Czechoslovakia.
1246
01:42:08,748 --> 01:42:11,291
We zip in, we pick them up
and we zip right out again.
1247
01:42:11,459 --> 01:42:13,794
We're not going to Moscow.
It's Czechoslovakia.
1248
01:42:13,961 --> 01:42:15,796
It's like going into Wisconsin.
1249
01:42:15,963 --> 01:42:18,882
I got the shit kicked out of me
in Wisconsin once. Forget it.
1250
01:42:21,719 --> 01:42:24,221
- Russell, what are you afraid of?
- I'm not afraid.
1251
01:42:24,388 --> 01:42:26,890
There are two things I promised
myself I'd never do:
1252
01:42:27,058 --> 01:42:28,558
Kill and die.
1253
01:42:28,726 --> 01:42:30,936
What if the Russians were
raping your sister?
1254
01:42:31,103 --> 01:42:34,356
Come on, you know my sister.
You practically raped her one night.
1255
01:42:34,524 --> 01:42:37,025
The Russians would just have to
buy her dinner.
1256
01:42:37,193 --> 01:42:41,404
Russell, that is our platoon out there.
That's Ox and Elmo and Cruiser.
1257
01:42:41,572 --> 01:42:44,658
I love those guys.
We're their only chance.
1258
01:42:44,826 --> 01:42:47,786
Two things, John:
First of all, they hate your guts.
1259
01:42:47,954 --> 01:42:49,621
Those bastards.
1260
01:42:49,789 --> 01:42:53,667
Second, when I finish all my training,
I'm probably gonna be a typist.
1261
01:42:53,835 --> 01:42:56,294
Now, when you invade
a hostile foreign nation...
1262
01:42:56,462 --> 01:42:59,256
you don't send your typists
in the first wave.
1263
01:42:59,423 --> 01:43:03,510
They got guys who like to do that,
John. Let's give them a call, okay?
1264
01:43:05,721 --> 01:43:07,305
Okay.
1265
01:43:08,140 --> 01:43:09,933
Yeah, we won't go in.
1266
01:43:10,518 --> 01:43:13,270
- Okay.
- Okay, let's go.
1267
01:43:13,437 --> 01:43:15,355
Oh, my hero.
1268
01:43:17,567 --> 01:43:20,527
Damn it, though, we're so close.
I'd love to just go take a look.
1269
01:43:20,695 --> 01:43:24,614
I mean, the Iron Curtain, it's gotta look
great. I'd love to have a picture of it.
1270
01:43:24,782 --> 01:43:26,366
Think we could do that?
1271
01:43:26,534 --> 01:43:30,036
Take about an hour. We could drive
over, get pictures and come back.
1272
01:43:30,204 --> 01:43:32,664
- We'll just look?
- Yeah.
1273
01:43:34,458 --> 01:43:37,878
- Okay. Let's look.
- Yeah, that's a much better plan.
1274
01:44:04,280 --> 01:44:07,908
We're so damn lost.
Where the hell is Innsbruck, Austria?
1275
01:44:08,075 --> 01:44:10,368
We're trying to get over there,
do some skiing.
1276
01:44:12,830 --> 01:44:15,332
- Do you know Brandy? Hi, girls.
- Excuse me.
1277
01:44:15,499 --> 01:44:18,501
- What a darling border guard.
- Is there a bathroom here?
1278
01:44:18,669 --> 01:44:21,004
Bathroom, girls. Bathroom.
1279
01:44:21,172 --> 01:44:23,173
There must be a bathroom
here somewhere.
1280
01:44:23,341 --> 01:44:25,091
Bathroom. Bathroom.
1281
01:44:28,971 --> 01:44:32,349
Hi. I'm John Winger
of the United States Army...
1282
01:44:32,516 --> 01:44:35,226
- And you are my prisoner.
- Why are you doing this?
1283
01:44:37,480 --> 01:44:38,813
Chicago.
1284
01:44:40,191 --> 01:44:43,193
Why do we want prisoners?
What do we want with prisoners?
1285
01:44:43,361 --> 01:44:45,403
Come on, move!
1286
01:44:50,534 --> 01:44:52,869
Do the words "act of war"
mean anything to you?
1287
01:44:53,037 --> 01:44:57,374
- I have a plan.
- Great. Custer had a plan too.
1288
01:45:48,134 --> 01:45:49,718
We are in serious trouble.
1289
01:45:49,885 --> 01:45:52,804
He said he had a plan.
Now, just give him a chance.
1290
01:45:53,222 --> 01:45:55,056
Hello, hello!
1291
01:46:07,486 --> 01:46:11,072
What an idiot. Get in here.
1292
01:46:18,622 --> 01:46:20,915
- All right, we're in.
- Nice work, John.
1293
01:46:26,130 --> 01:46:28,423
- What's the plan?
- I'm working on it.
1294
01:46:28,591 --> 01:46:31,301
Oh, my God, what an idiot.
He's working on it.
1295
01:46:33,804 --> 01:46:35,680
The absence of a plan is ridiculous.
1296
01:46:35,848 --> 01:46:37,724
Hey, they're about
to start shooting at us.
1297
01:46:37,892 --> 01:46:40,477
- Good. That's fine. Let them.
- It's working.
1298
01:46:49,820 --> 01:46:53,156
- Louise, get this thing moving.
- You're dangerous, you know that?
1299
01:46:57,119 --> 01:46:59,037
Oh, this is interesting.
1300
01:47:04,752 --> 01:47:08,505
I got it figured this way: They got
one big gun, a couple of tanks.
1301
01:47:08,672 --> 01:47:11,758
They got a hundred Baryshnikovs
running around.
1302
01:47:11,926 --> 01:47:14,010
- And what do we got?
- What do we got?
1303
01:47:14,178 --> 01:47:17,806
We got one heavily armed
recreational vehicle here, man.
1304
01:47:17,973 --> 01:47:20,350
Okay, find that truck,
and we find them.
1305
01:47:31,028 --> 01:47:33,446
- There's a gun in that tower, Russell.
- I see him.
1306
01:47:36,367 --> 01:47:38,368
All right, steady, steady.
1307
01:47:49,880 --> 01:47:52,382
- Got him!
- All right! Oh, God!
1308
01:47:56,345 --> 01:47:58,388
Good one, Russell.
1309
01:48:00,558 --> 01:48:03,059
- There's the truck.
- Must be them. Get ready!
1310
01:48:07,064 --> 01:48:08,606
Out, please!
1311
01:48:15,990 --> 01:48:18,533
John, over here!
1312
01:48:39,597 --> 01:48:41,973
- That was stupid.
- Yeah.
1313
01:48:45,769 --> 01:48:47,312
- You know who would love this?
- Who?
1314
01:48:47,479 --> 01:48:49,856
Russell. He should be here.
1315
01:48:50,024 --> 01:48:51,441
- Russell!
- Russell!
1316
01:48:51,609 --> 01:48:53,359
Help!
1317
01:49:02,953 --> 01:49:05,288
- Thank you.
- That helped.
1318
01:49:15,549 --> 01:49:17,467
They'd better be in there.
1319
01:50:11,105 --> 01:50:13,022
You can beat me
as much as you want!
1320
01:50:21,573 --> 01:50:23,908
- Are you okay?
- Where are they?
1321
01:50:24,076 --> 01:50:26,703
- Hi.
- Where are the others?
1322
01:50:29,039 --> 01:50:30,623
Hello?
1323
01:50:34,545 --> 01:50:36,254
Hello!
1324
01:50:36,547 --> 01:50:38,423
Hello?
1325
01:50:39,133 --> 01:50:40,967
- Hello?
- Hello.
1326
01:50:41,135 --> 01:50:44,053
- Who is it?
- It's Idi Amin.
1327
01:50:44,221 --> 01:50:46,556
- It's Winger!
- We're free!
1328
01:50:46,724 --> 01:50:49,642
It's us, Winger! Get us out!
1329
01:50:49,810 --> 01:50:52,228
All right, stand back from the door.
I'm gonna blow it.
1330
01:50:52,396 --> 01:50:54,689
Everybody back! Everybody back!
1331
01:50:57,026 --> 01:50:58,401
Get it.
1332
01:51:01,155 --> 01:51:02,613
Get down.
1333
01:51:12,041 --> 01:51:16,336
- Tough door!
- You got it locked on the inside?
1334
01:51:16,503 --> 01:51:20,423
It's because of you people
that I cannot get outside!
1335
01:51:20,591 --> 01:51:23,801
It's always your fault.
You are not capable of handling...
1336
01:51:23,969 --> 01:51:25,845
To take orders from me, who is...
1337
01:51:26,013 --> 01:51:30,099
- Open this door, please!
- I'm gonna squash him!
1338
01:51:35,230 --> 01:51:39,776
- Winger! Oh, I'm so glad!
- What are you doing here?
1339
01:51:58,379 --> 01:52:01,130
Look out, Louise!
There's a tank behind us! Move it!
1340
01:52:26,782 --> 01:52:28,658
Find John, will you?
I'm gonna kill him.
1341
01:53:14,079 --> 01:53:16,205
We had a car waiting.
1342
01:53:20,836 --> 01:53:22,962
Russell?
1343
01:54:03,337 --> 01:54:05,630
Let's get out of here!
1344
01:54:30,239 --> 01:54:32,073
We're here!
1345
01:54:34,117 --> 01:54:35,284
John!
1346
01:54:35,452 --> 01:54:37,203
Come on!
1347
01:54:42,960 --> 01:54:46,629
You are in trouble!
This is government property...
1348
01:55:35,178 --> 01:55:37,013
Something's blocking the road.
Hang on!
1349
01:55:37,180 --> 01:55:38,389
Hang on!
1350
01:55:41,476 --> 01:55:44,103
I'm getting too old for this shit!
1351
01:55:52,654 --> 01:55:55,865
Gentlemen, we are in Germany!
1352
01:56:12,758 --> 01:56:15,593
I hate tourist season.
1353
01:56:16,178 --> 01:56:22,391
Such a truck would be good
for picking up girls in Minsk.
1354
01:57:06,061 --> 01:57:09,355
Platoon, ten-hut!
1355
01:57:11,024 --> 01:57:13,401
Queen Anne salute!
1356
01:57:15,946 --> 01:57:17,154
Get up!
1357
01:57:32,629 --> 01:57:35,381
Thank you.
It's great to be back home.
1358
01:57:57,362 --> 01:57:59,822
My people, we're number one.
All right.
1359
01:58:07,414 --> 01:58:10,833
Ox, we got medals. Look.
Valortorious Service. Thank you.
1360
01:58:13,754 --> 01:58:16,922
What the...? A surprise party!
1361
01:58:17,090 --> 01:58:20,676
I'll kill you. Whose idea was this?
1362
01:58:20,844 --> 01:58:24,346
All right, everybody's coming
to my place. This is ridiculous.
1363
01:58:24,890 --> 01:58:27,266
Senator, hang onto that,
will you, for me?
1364
01:58:27,434 --> 01:58:30,728
Oh, I wrote.
I didn't know if you'd come.
1365
01:58:31,188 --> 01:58:33,022
No questions, please.
1366
01:58:33,190 --> 01:58:35,274
We just want to get back
to our hotel rooms...
1367
01:58:35,442 --> 01:58:37,860
and have some really serious sex.
1368
01:58:40,530 --> 01:58:43,824
What are you looking at?
Keep your eyes out there.
1369
01:59:03,136 --> 01:59:05,846
Oh, you old dog.
1370
01:59:42,300 --> 01:59:44,677
Right face!
1371
01:59:45,053 --> 01:59:47,221
Forward march!
1372
01:59:48,765 --> 01:59:52,768
Left, left, left, right, left.
1373
01:59:58,775 --> 02:00:00,776
Five, six, seven, eight.105347
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