All language subtitles for Gigi.Does.It.S01E06.WEBRip.x264-ION10

So, I'm on
the Internets now?

Yep.

So, this is your
Internet browser.

What?

It's called googling.

- Googles?
- Google.

How about this?

How about I look up
"Paul... Anka?"

- My favorite, Paul Anka.
- See, there ya go.

Yeah, there it is.

(Chuckles)
Yeah.

Oh, he's Canadian,
like you.

Yep.
Yeah.

Oh, I love him, Paul Anka.
How do you like that?

See, I'm learning
new things.

How about "Jimmy Carter
sunbathing?"

Oh, yeah,
there he is.

Oh, you know what
I'd like to look up?

"Russian street party."

Women get naked.

The men bash them
over the head

and carry them back
to the Russian caves.

(Belches)
No, nothing came up.

All right,
what's this now?

(Ricky)
Oh, that's a pop up ad.

You actually-- you don't
wanna click that.

- (Woman moaning) - Oh, God.
- Uh, see?

- What's going on here?
- Yeah, see?

Uh, it-it-it's
just like a--

- Oh, another one.
- Yeah, it's actually-- it's pornography.

- You don't wanna--
- What is that man doing?

He's mooshing his--
Oh, no, no, what is this?

When you click it,
more-more pages open.

- (Gasps)
- Oh, oh, God.

- Oh!
- That one is--

- What is that? - I didn't know
things could stretch in that way.

My uncle Morty
had one of these.

Yeah, see, you actually
wanna click X on that.

- Piss drinking.
- Uh...

A lotta piss stuff.
A lotta stuff with piss.

And something like that,
that's called pony play.

(Woman moaning)

What kinda
thing is this?

- How do we get back to Paul Anka?
- Um, um, this is a--

- I just wanna see Paul Anka.
- Okay.

- No, no, no, no.
- So, you never wanna--

No, no, no, no, no.
Listen.

You know, Harold and I,

we never did
anything like that.

Is that what men
expect nowadays?

I don't know if it's
what they expect,

but, I mean, it's-it's--
that's one representation

of what people are
doing out there.

Well, I'll tell
you what...

(Chuckles)
I'm ready to learn.

? la la la la la ?

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

? la la ?

? la la la la la ?

? la la la la la ?

? la la la la la ?

? la la ?

?

? la la la la la ?

? la la la la la ?

? la la la la la ?

? la la ?

(Gigi)
The worldwide web.

It's like one giant public
pool of pornography.

It has everything
you've ever dreamed of

just right at the
click of a button.

You interested in, uh,
midget moose riding?

Oh, sure.

You wanna watch fat people
sitting in wet cement?

You bet.

Well, if I plan on getting
back into the dating scene,

I have to brush up on
the world of modern sex.

I goggled and found the name
of a reputable sex therapist

to help me on my quest
of sexually satisfying

large clusters of men
in the Boca Raton area.

I would very much like them
to run a train on me.

And maybe afterwards,

we can go out for
some bukaki.

Well, here we are.

(Whispering)
There is a sexual energy in here.

- There's an energy, right?
- Yeah.

- It's not just me.
- No, it's very palpable.

There's an energy.
I feel it.

Oh!

I'm never gonna get
up from this couch.

I've never been rammed.

I would like to
try getting rammed.

Harold was very slow,
and I would say to him,

"Don't stir my coffee.
Whip my butter.

Whip my butter.

I'd rather have
my butter whipped

than my coffee stirred."

I did everything
I could,

and he would rather talk
about what's happening

in the Middle East.

He was so concerned
with Israel.

Meanwhile, I'm trying
to-to fuck him.

- So sorry to keep you waiting.
(Gigi) - Oh, hello, hello.

- Hi... Ricky.
- Hi.

Ava Cadell,
your sex therapist.

Yeah, not mine.
Uh, her-her-- um, yeah.

- Hello.
- Let's get you up.

(Ava)
A-are you okay?

Yeah, I'm havin'
a little trouble.

Very deep couch
and very low.

A lot of older men are
only interested in sex,

and I wanna be able to provide
them with what they want.

But if-if they want some
kind of situation where,

you know, they pull their
foreskin over my head

or something crazy like that,
I'm not used to that.

You know, I'm not wild.

I'm very conservative
in bed.

My husband, he never
let me come to an orgasm.

Well, first of all,

you have to take responsibility
for your own orgasm.

You can't blame your
husband for any of that.

Well, excuse me,
but I-I've tried.

He was so soft in bed
and so quick.

Well, let's get you on
the journey to great sex.

- Okay, I'm ready to go on that train.
- All right.

S-so, most men,
no matter what age they are,

they do like a woman
who can talk erotically,

and who enjoys
oral delights,

- and, uh--
- I love oral delight.

- Do you really? Good, good.
- I love ice cream.

And I love a lozenge.

A BLT.

Oh, a BLT for me.
A nice, juicy, fresh BLT.

(Ava)
No, no, no, no.

What-what about, uh,

deep-throating
and tea bagging?

(Whispering)
What is tea bagging?

- What is tea bagging?
- Let me show you.

Oh!

This is Richard.

There it is.

So, let me show you
tea bagging.

- A penis.
- It's when you suck on the testes.

- Testes?
- When the man is straddling your face.

- Straddling my face?
- Yes, yes.

And a lot of men say that
this part gets neglected.

- I've never sucked a ball.
- There you go.

And if you can suck two,
even more impressive.

But I wanna
share with you

the ultimate erotic
oral delight.

It's called
"The Four S's."

Can you guess what the
first 'S' stands for?

So, how's it going?

I would make conversation.

Conversation is good.
Erotic conversation is good.

The first one
is actually "Slap."

You would use it
to slap your face.

- I'm sorry?
- You would say,

"I want to feel it on my face,
or my breasts."

Here, try it.

So, I use it to
slap his face?

No, slap your face.
Gigi, no, no, no.

Oh, oh, oh.

You use his penis
to slap your face.

- To slap my face?
- Yes, it's a-it's a visual.

- It's a--
- Ooh, it's heavy.

- Men are very visual.
- Okay.

Yes, well,
you can slap me.

- Okay.
- Go ahead. Keep slappin'.

When-- tell me
when you're done.

Okay.
Number two.

What do you think
the second 'S' is?

(Ricky)
"Stop."

No.
"Spit."

You use it as
a lubricant.

You don't have-- you don't
have to do it now.

But, so, you've slapped.
You've spat.

What do you think
is the next 'S'?

Suppository.

(Ricky) - Suck.
- Suck.

(Ricky) - Suck.
- He knows. He's a man.

- Oh, suck, yeah.
- He knows what he wants.

You suck.
Just don't use your teeth.

Oh, but Harold would ask me
to use, uh, my teeth.

Okay, if the man wants teeth,
then-then do it.

But most men
don't want teeth.

And then, what do you
think the fourth 'S' is?

- See ya later.
- Sorry.

- I'm sorry.
- No, come on.

It's something
really exciting.

Steven Seagal.

Strangle me.
Strangle?

- Swallow.
- You got it.

- Swallow.
- Swallow, yeah.

It tastes like
scallions.

(Ava)
Well, it shouldn't.

But you can
pretend to swallow.

And then, let him know to
tap you on the shoulder

- before he climaxes.
- Come on, climax.

- Give me a tap.
- And then just let it drip into your hand.

He'll never know
the difference.

Okay, or maybe shoot it
over my shoulder.

See how much power you
have over his sexuality?

You're holding his pride
and joy in your mouth.

Yeah, sure am.

(Gigi) You mustn't
fear your own body.

You must explore it,

like the great James Cameron
explores the cavernous oceans.

All right,
just-just look at it

and see what you
got down there.

(Indistinct)

(Exhales)
Okay, there you are.

The damn thing looks
like the Eye of Mordor.

Looks like a blooming onion
from Outback Steakhouse.

Let me see what
you look like magnified.

Yow!

That was a bad idea.

What is that?
There's some kinda fuzz.

Hmm?

You miss Harold?
I miss Harold, too.

How he loved you.
Mm-hmm.

He would talk about
you a lot, often.

Mm-hmm.

Well, you look happy.

I'll catch up with you
in another 25 years.

Bye-bye.

So, Gigi,
let me ask you.

What part of your body do
you think is the sexiest?

Oh, without a doubt,
it's my vagina.

- Excellent. So, you--
- There's never any doubt about that.

I love that.

Okay, Gigi,
put your head here,

and then lie down
into missionary.

- Oh, okay, here I come. - Yes, this is
gonna be an advanced missionary

so that we can
reach your G-spot.

Come and help, Ricky.

Okay, so, now when you're
making love to each other...

We don't
have to touch.

Well, it's nice to
touch each other.

(Gigi)
Yeah, let me touch you.

I don't-- I'm not
comfortable with that.

Okay, so, the benefits of
this is G-spot orgasm,

clitoral orgasm.

How would you do that?

Uh, well,
I-I would thrust.

(Gigi) I just want
one clitoral orgasm.

Gigi, take responsibility
for your orgasm

and touch your own clitoris
while he's thrusting.

- Yeah, I'm touching my clitoris.
- There you go.

- Excellent.
- Yeeeaaah, baby!

(Ava) This is a great
position for people

who have slight
weight issues.

Pick up the rhythm.

The faster you go,
the faster the breath flows.

And this is also conducive
for anal penetration as well.

Gigi, this is the female
empowerment position.

You are in control
of the angle,

the depth, the motion.

Grind your pelvis
into him.

I don't like this.

(Ava) Excellent. Excellent.

So, Ricky, this is
rear entry position.

It's man's favorite position
because it's so animalistic.

Hold on to her buttocks and
start slowly penetrating.

- Very good. Very good.
- Ooh, ahh.

Ooh, wait a second.
You hit my cervix.

I-- or somethin'.
I have a cramp.

- Well, it's your knee.
- I have a bad cramp here.

I think maybe if
you're gonna get into

some of these more
athletic positions,

you need to go to a gym,
or a yoga class,

or strengthen your body.

(Panting)

Well, that woman
sure opened my eyes

to the filthy world
of adult sex.

I mean, I couldn't-- I couldn't
believe this woman.

She-- you know, she used
the word "Vagina"

like it was a
common greeting.

I mean, can you imagine her
at a dinner party?

Uh-uh,
"It's vagina to meet you.

Could ya penis
me the salt?"

(Laughs)

Well, as it turns out,

I'm not just out of touch
with the world of sex.

I am severely
out of shape.

I couldn't
bend for shit.

I need to be like one of
those Cirque Du Soleil women

who can bend enough to
smell their lower backs.

So, I'm going to a
gymnastics facility

to help me learn how
to make my body bend

every which way
from Tuesday.

I'm preparing to have
sexual relations.

Oh, okay.

It's a-it's a-it's
a big thing for me

because I'm dry as
a bone down there.

- Oh!
- Yeah.

I haven't had sex,

I mean normal sex,
in I don't know how long.

And I'm looking to
have new relations

with some younger men.

You know
what I mean?

Not me.

Yeah, no, not him.

I don't want nothin'
to do with him.

- He's too white.
- Okay.

Yeah, I don't like
white like that.

- Oh, okay.
- I like a darker white.

Here's the problem.

There's all kinds of positions,
all kinds of--

But this one's
pulling the hair.

The other one's
got me by the ear.

He's got a fist
right up me.

And I-I don't know how
to do any of that stuff.

I'm not familiar,
and I'm not flexible.

The other day, we went
to a sex therapist.

I pulled a muscle.

It was near to my vagina,
but not quite in the vagina.

- You understand?
- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah.
- I suppose.

And it hurt terrible.

Do you guys wanna try
some stretches here?

Yes, that's what
we're here for.

- Okay, great, great.
- Yeah, I think that'd be--

- Limber her up before we do anything else.
- Let's start.

- Yeah, absolutely.
- Yeah, limber, limber.

- Put your bottom on the-the green.
- Okay.

- Yeah.
- Oh, all right.

- So, I have to turn somehow?
- You're gonna sit down, yeah.

- Yeah, turn-turn this way.
- All right, this is not easy for me.

- Just put your--
- Okay, I'm just gonna go dead legged.

Dead legged on three.

- Are you sure that's safe?
- One-- Uh-huh.

- Two, and--
- Okay.

Wait.
Oh, my-oh, my gosh!

- I'm okay.
- Oh, my gosh.

- Are you okay? Are you all right?
- I'm all right.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah, no. Yeah, no.

Don't worry.
No, yeah.

- Are you sure?
- No, yeah.

- Okay, okay.
- I'll be fine. Don't worry.

- Okay.
- No, no, yeah.

- You're not okay, or you are okay?
- No, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no.

Why don't we start with
stretching this leg?

We're gonna lift it
straight up.

- That's my good leg.
- Okay-okay, are you ready?

- Okay.
- Okay, I'm gonna-I'm gonna--

That's it.

It doesn't go
farther than that.

If you move me
one centimeter,

I'm gonna be in
a lot of pain.

- That I can promise you.
- Uh, what-what if I do it very slowly?

- Like a little like--
- You-- Ahh!

- Okay.
- See?

- Um, oh, okay.
- What did I tell you?

Maybe we'll-we'll
come back to that.

Let me-let me just
get Ricky goin' here.

Ricky, oh, great.

- Yeah, this is great.
- Oh, very flexible.

(Ricky) I had to go to my
sister's lamaze classes.

This is what it felt like.
Like I can feel myself dilate.

(Inhales, exhales)

- That's ten millimeters.
- Good, okay.

- Yeah.
- Great, all right.

Now, let's have you, um--

(Gigi) Try another
leg, why don't you?

Okay, let's just
see this one.

This one we're
just gonna try.

I'll do it very
softly, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Yeah, this is a dead leg.
- Um--

(Chuckles)

I'm not flexible enough.

You wanna try and get-get
some movement goin'?

- Yeah, let me-let me
learn how to bounce. - Okay.

- All right, let's get you up there.
- All right, let's get you up.

(Gigi) - Let's do that.
- Ready?

- Ready?
- Yes.

- On the count of three.
- One, two, three.

(Grunting)

I need a little chalk
to put under my boobs

because I'm--
I think I'm chafing.

Do they make chalk specifically
for under the boob?

(Coach)
They don't.

Ooh, yeah.
See?

I haven't had this much
motion in a while.

I feel powerful.

Whee!
Ha-ha!

Ho-ho!

- Ooh!
- Oh-oh!

(Grunts)

Come up and see me
sometime.

(Ricky) Are you gonna
actually hang,

- or are you gonna--
- I am hanging.

(Ricky) Yeah, but without
the block under you?

I just don't know what the
point really is, if you do--

of swinging
back and forth.

Well, it's helping me
get a fart out.

?

(Laughing)

Not too fast.

Whee!

Well, that went better
than I thought.

That was great.

Gigi, you okay?

- Gigi?
- Gi-Gigi?

Gigi!

- Gigi?
- Gigi?

Hold my socks.

Gigi!

Gigi?

Gigi!

(Grunts)

Gigi!

Gigi?

(Gasping)

(Sighs)

(Gigi)
Oh, my God!

I'm all right.
I'm all right.

- You're, um--
- Yeah?

(Ricky)
Your-your hair.

Yeah, my hair is--
Where's my wig?

- Yeah, I'll, uh, I'll find it.
- Where's my wig?

It fell off.

What do you mean,
it fell off?

No, no, no.

Don't-don't look
at me, sweetheart.

Don't look at me, okay?

(Ricky)
Let me find it.

Yeah, find it quickly.

(Gigi)
Oy... oy.

You okay?

I just need
a quick break,

- because it's a lot for me.
- We don't have to--

- Yeah, we don't have to rush anything.
- Yeah, okay.

Take your time.

I've always envisioned myself
running, running, running,

and jumping
onto a bed,

flippin' over and sayin',
"Come get me, tiger.

Come get mama."

So, apparently,
I don't bend.

I break.

All this physical exercise
has made me realize

that the key to my
sexual renaissance

lies not in
my flexibility,

but rather in my
sheer brute power.

I think I might be what
my hairdresser, Emilio,

calls a power top.

Or, is it a power bottom?

It's whatever
takes it in the ass.

Well, I guess it
could work both ways.

Wow, that's an
interesting visual.

Okay, so, let's, uh, let's
get you another apparatus

- over here.
- All right, sounds good.

What's this?

(Coach) This is the pommel horse.
This is a man event.

It's a man event?

- Yeah, normally, this is what the men--
- Well, I'm lookin' to have a man event.

You know what I mean?

Hee-hee-hee-yo!

You're gonna need a lotta
strength for this one,

for, like, upper body.

- This is more, like, biceps, pecs.
- Well, my legs are worth nothing.

Let's face it.

But, my arms... I could
use a workout for my arms

because I need
to be able to--

- What's that?
- Nonstop, nonstop.

Um...

(Ricky) All right, well,
let's get-get her on it.

- Okay, how do I get on this thing?
- Okay.

- You can-you can--
- Ready?

Yeah, nice and easy.

(Grunting)
Ow!

- Ooh!
- Okay, you okay?

I'm wide open.

(Ricky) - Yeah.
(Coach) - Okay.

Yeah, no, this is good.

This is comfortable
for me.

I've seen the men do
this in the Olympics.

(Coach)
Yeah.

Oh.

Mmm.

This is a special
little thing I'm on.

Mmm.

Mmm.

That's it.
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

I am so sorry for this.

I think it's better
to just let her--

I don't wanna say "finish,"

but it's-it's best
if we let her finish.

(Whimpering)

(Screeching)

- I never wanted to see this.
- Yeah.

(Whimpering)

I just wanna
feel you.

(Whimpering)

(Screams)

I just made a come.

Is this available
for purchase?

- I don't believe it's for sale. - I'm ready
to take this home with me, darling.

This is my favorite
of the apparati.

(Ricky) I think this horse
has been pommeled enough.

All right, take me off.

- Oh, okay.
- Let's dismount you.

I'm gonna fly off
of this thing.

- Oh, God.
- Ready?

- Yeah, ooh, I slip-slide right off.
- Just slide right off.

- Care-careful-careful.
- I slide right off.

I love this thing.
Let me give it a kiss.

Okay.

Wow!

Hello, my name is
Gertrude Gettlestein Rotblum,

and I am a sex addict.

Here, have a smoke.
I don't smoke.

No, no, no.
You'll smoke now.

- No, this'll kill me.
- We had a close, intimate moment.

Come on.

(Sighs)

Feels good to finally
say that out loud.

After my time on
the pommel horse,

I've had an
insatiable appetite

for getting myself off.

In just the past week,

I've had orgasms on
the back of this couch,

the side of my bathtub,
and on Ricky's limp,

sleeping body.

Mm-hmm.

I just don't know
how to stop.

And, more importantly,
I don't want to stop.

It's been 40 years
since I had an orgasm.

You better believe
I'm gonna make up for it.

The sex coach
suggested that

I write a posthumous
letter to Harold,

letting him know of all the
sexual feelings that I had

during our marriage.

She said it would liberate me,
so here it goes.

"Dear Harold, or to
whom it may concern,

you did a number on me.

Your overbearing
control in the bedroom

stifled my sexual
creativity.

I wish you had been
receptive to my fantasies.

I yearned to role-play.

You would've been a
poorly trained dalmatian,

and I an unguarded
fire hydrant.

I always dreamed of making
a private porno version

of the movie 'Nell'.

I would like to have been
on the receiving end

of a Portuguese breakfast.

I always wanted to
fulfill my destiny

as a human pin cushion.

But instead of pins,
penises.

I also want you to know
that I do miss you,

and your sinewy body
sleeping next to me.

Love always,
your little sack of skin,

Gigi."

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0