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1
00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:06,549
Have you seen our bank statement?
Can this be right?
2
00:00:06,716 --> 00:00:10,469
I know. God, I haven't seen
my savings take a hit like this...
3
00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:14,390
...since I was a kid and they came up
with Double Stuf Oreos.
4
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:19,270
- What happened to all of our money?
- Well, I'm not sure exactly what they did...
5
00:00:19,437 --> 00:00:22,064
...but I'm inclined to blame Enron.
6
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,651
Well,
I guess with you doing the internship...
7
00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:28,362
...we're just spending more
than we're bringing in.
8
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:32,408
Yeah, maybe I should quit
and get a job that pays.
9
00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:35,286
But you're finally doing something
that you love.
10
00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:37,830
I mean, I can't ask you to give that up.
11
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:41,667
Although it would be nice if the thing
that you loved was, you know, finding gold.
12
00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:45,838
You know what? I think we're making
too big a deal out of this.
13
00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:47,923
Okay? So we pay our bills late
this month.
14
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,134
Maybe next month,
we cut back on a few things.
15
00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:54,305
And maybe we start eating
out of Joey's refrigerator for a change.
16
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:58,809
You're a chef. What can you make
out of baking soda and beer?
17
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:02,063
All right. Worst-case scenario is,
we borrow some money from my parents.
18
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,981
No, we're not borrowing money.
19
00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:07,109
- Why not?
- Because we don't do that. We are Bings.
20
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,781
If there's one thing my father
taught me, it was...
21
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,743
...well, to always knock
before going into the pool house.
22
00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,913
But the other thing was,
never borrow money.
23
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,832
Wow, I had no idea
you had this much pride.
24
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,918
That's right, I do. I am your man.
25
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,878
And I'm gonna get us
through this situation...
26
00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:28,130
...even if it means you working
twice as hard.
27
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,882
- I'm gonna go.
- Why?
28
00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:14,969
I haven't been home in a couple days
and I need to get more clothes.
29
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:17,972
You don't have to go.
I have something that'll fit you.
30
00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:22,309
I put that tube top on as a joke.
31
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:26,105
- I want you to stay.
- I want to stay too.
32
00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:28,858
But I've got as much use
out of these boxers as I can.
33
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:31,235
- Why don't you turn them inside...
- Done it.
34
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:36,031
- I'll be back in a couple of hours.
- All right. I'll miss you.
35
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,117
Me too.
36
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:46,041
You know what? I just realized
something. I don't want to go home.
37
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:50,546
- Great! Okay, I'll go get the tube top.
- No, no, what I mean is...
38
00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:53,507
- ...I hate going back to my apartment now.
- Mm-hm.
39
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,510
Partly because I live above
a known crack den...
40
00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:01,348
...but, you know, mostly because
when I'm there, I really miss you.
41
00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:04,768
So...
42
00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:07,479
...do you want to move in together?
43
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:11,859
Wow, Mike Hannigan...
44
00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:15,237
...you sure know how to
make a girl say "Hell, yeah."
45
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:19,450
- So we're doing it?
- Yeah, let's do it. Let's live together.
46
00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:23,662
Wow.
We're really gonna move in together?
47
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:24,872
Yeah.
48
00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:27,541
I've always wanted to live with a guy.
49
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,253
Pick up your socks.
Put down the toilet seat.
50
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:34,548
No, we are not having sex anymore.
51
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,635
It's gonna be fun.
52
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,473
- Hey, JOEY-
- Hey.
53
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:46,894
Listen, I need to know
that what I'm about to ask you...
54
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,271
...will never get back to Chandler.
55
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:56,195
I'd be lying if I said
I hadn't thought about it myself.
56
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:02,618
But Chandler is my best friend.
It would be wrong.
57
00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:06,413
Good, but wrong.
58
00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:11,168
Okay, first of all, it would be great.
59
00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:14,713
But that's not what I'm here to talk
to you about. I need to borrow money.
60
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,133
Oh, I don't know, Monica. You know...
61
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,302
...lending friends money
is always a mistake.
62
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:24,014
- But Chandler lent you money.
- And he would tell you it was a mistake.
63
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:28,602
Come on, I just... I need it
for some rent and some other bills.
64
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,397
Oh, well... Well, how much?
65
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:35,025
- Two thousand dollars?
- Two thousand dollars?
66
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,611
What do you think I am,
a soap-opera star?
67
00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:41,573
- Yeah.
- That's right, I am.
68
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,412
- Hi, you guys.
- Hey.
69
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:50,165
- What's in the bag?
- You know how Emma started crawling?
70
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:54,253
I realized that this place
is very unsafe for a baby...
71
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:58,257
...so I went to the store and I got some
stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
72
00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,467
Oh, God, baby-proofing.
73
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:04,221
Why is it such a big deal now?
You know, when I was a kid, it was like:
74
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:06,807
"Whoops, Joey fell down the stairs."
75
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:11,895
Or, "Whoops,
Joey electrocuted himself again."
76
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,692
Anyway, um, are you going to get
a handyman to install this stuff?
77
00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:20,487
- No, I was just gonna do it myself.
- Ha, ha.
78
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,659
- You're gonna do it'?
- Yeah. Why?
79
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:30,497
- You don't think a woman can do this?
- Women can. You can't.
80
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:35,836
Monica, will you please tell Joey
that he is a pig.
81
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:39,715
- You're a pig. And you can't do this.
- What?
82
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:43,427
What? Come on, I found
the hardware store all by myself.
83
00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,429
The hardware store's
right down the street.
84
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:48,474
There is a hardware store
right down the street?
85
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:55,064
Hey, you guys?
Okay, we've got great news.
86
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:58,567
- Phoebe and I are moving in together.
- Congratulations.
87
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:02,321
I know, it's so exciting. You know,
I've never lived with a guy before.
88
00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:06,408
Well, it's just like living with a girl,
only they don't steal your makeup.
89
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:09,995
Unless they're playing
"This ls What My Sister Would Look Like."
90
00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:13,415
Yeah, she's not so cute.
91
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:17,294
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- Well, you put down the toilet seat.
92
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,505
Yes, dear.
93
00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:23,884
- Is that a bit you guys do?
- Uh-huh. We're playing you two.
94
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:29,515
We don't do that.
Tell her we don't do that.
95
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,683
Yes, dear.
96
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:36,397
I can't believe you're moving in together.
That's gre... I'm happy for you guys.
97
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,733
- I hear wedding bells.
- Monica, slow down, okay?
98
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,486
I'm just excited to be living with him.
99
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,780
You know, I mean, I don't know...
100
00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:48,283
...can I see someday being
married to Mike? Sure. Yeah.
101
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,744
You know, I could picture myself
walking down the aisle...
102
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:55,541
...in a wedding dress that highlights
my breasts in an obvious yet classy way.
103
00:06:57,459 --> 00:07:00,462
But do I want that house in Connecticut,
you know, near the good schools...
104
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:04,508
...where Mike and I could send
little Sophie and Mike Jr.?
105
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,219
Oh, my God, I do.
106
00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:10,639
Phoebe, I had no idea
you were so conventional.
107
00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,474
I know. I guess I am.
108
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:16,186
Oh, my God, load up the Volvo,
I want to be a soccer mom.
109
00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:20,941
- You ready to go?
- Yeah, you bet, roomie.
110
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,902
Don't you mean "groomie"?
111
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,865
- What are you talking about?
- Please.
112
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,825
These guys.
We haven't even moved in yet...
113
00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:32,244
...and they have us picking out
china patterns.
114
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:42,421
China patterns!
115
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:49,678
This is easy. "Can't do this..."
116
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,477
Wow, seriously. Can't do this.
117
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:03,650
- Hey, Joe.
- Hey.
118
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:08,113
Listen, um, I need to ask you a favor,
and we can't tell Monica anything about it.
119
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:12,743
- I thought you guys didn't have secrets.
- That will remain the official party line.
120
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:18,999
Look, Monica and I are having
a little financial trouble.
121
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,919
- Yeah, I know.
- What? What do you mean, you "know"?
122
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:24,213
Uh...
123
00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:26,381
I just figured it out, you know?
124
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:30,219
I mean, you're not working
and, uh, the economy is bad.
125
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:32,763
Oh, right.
126
00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:36,266
That is the fastest I have ever thought.
127
00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:39,561
Anyway, uh...
128
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,190
...I need to borrow some money.
129
00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:46,151
Oh, sure. Yeah, how much?
Two thousand dollars?
130
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:51,365
Yes, $2000 exactly.
How did you know that?
131
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:57,079
Uh, well, I know how much
you used to make...
132
00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:59,248
...and I know how much your rent is.
133
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,167
Oh, okay.
134
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,711
I am on fire.
135
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,382
Listen, this is really nice.
136
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,345
Did you write a check to Monica
for $2000?
137
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,222
Did Monica borrow money from you?
138
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:19,935
- Uh, kind of.
- I can't believe her.
139
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,104
Did she tell you we were having
money problems?
140
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,232
No, no, no. It wasn't because
of your money problems.
141
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:28,443
It was for something for her.
142
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,320
What?
143
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:31,655
Something personal.
144
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,825
What would she get for $2000
that she wouldn't tell me about?
145
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:36,201
Excuse me.
146
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,123
Boob job.
147
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,501
I don't want her to get a boob job.
That's crazy.
148
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:47,629
Well, it's not that crazy, okay?
149
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:50,382
Making them smaller,
that would be crazy.
150
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:57,264
Oh, hey, I wanted to ask you
about Monica's little "groomie" joke.
151
00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:01,310
Well, I think the reason people laughed
is that it's a play on the word "roomie."
152
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,061
No...
153
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:08,817
I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was.
154
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:12,362
No, the thing I want to say is...
155
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:15,490
Maybe we should've
talked about this before.
156
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:19,995
Us living together,
you're not expecting a proposal, right?
157
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,998
- Oh, no, no. Not at all.
- Okay.
158
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:26,627
We're just moving in right now.
We'll see where it goes.
159
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:31,214
Yeah, well, that's the thing.
For me, it's as far as it can ever go.
160
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,594
- What do you mean?
- Look, Phoebe, I...
161
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:40,140
I love you very much.
But I never want to get married again.
162
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,267
Oh.
163
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:46,730
- Wow.
- It's just, my first marriage was...
164
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:50,484
...you know, such a disaster that
I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
165
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,695
- Mm-hm. Was it really that bad?
- At one point, near the end...
166
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:57,699
- ...she deliberately defecated on my...
- Okay, well, that's bad. Yeah.
167
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:03,872
But don't you think it might be
different with someone else? Perhaps...
168
00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:06,667
...a blond who always uses the toilet?
169
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,422
Except for once in the ocean.
170
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,217
Look, it's not about who I would marry.
171
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:18,929
I was certain the first time I got married
it would last forever. I was wrong.
172
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:21,807
- But, it just...
- Look, Phoebe, it's not about you.
173
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,267
I just never want to get married again.
174
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:28,980
- Ah.
- I'm sorry.
175
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:34,069
Are you okay with that? If not, maybe
us moving in together isn't the best idea.
176
00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:37,739
No. Oh, I definitely don't
want to get married.
177
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:41,785
No, I just wanted to make sure
you didn't want to, too.
178
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,914
Because, you know, if we move in
and you start changing your mind...
179
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:48,041
...there is gonna be hell to pay, mister.
180
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,670
- Trust me. I will never...
- Yeah, I get that. Yeah.
181
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,973
Hi. So you gave in
and decided to call someone?
182
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:07,477
Yeah. I don't know who I was kidding.
I can barely use chopsticks.
183
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:10,689
- You're all set.
- Oh, thank you so much.
184
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,191
Wait. You forgot your, um...
185
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,777
Your game.
186
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,529
Thank you.
187
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:24,786
Hey, Rach. There she is,
my perfectly proportioned wife.
188
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:29,666
Don't look at me. I never get his jokes.
189
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,961
- Thank you?
- No, no. Don't thank me.
190
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:37,090
Thank you. Do you know there is not
one thing that I would change about you?
191
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:40,552
Not one single thing.
And definitely not...
192
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:43,096
...two single things.
193
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,391
Okay, you're being weird.
Do you want sex...
194
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,477
...or did you do something bad?
195
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:52,314
No. No. No. I just love
the way you look. I am warm...
196
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:54,274
...for your form.
197
00:12:56,818 --> 00:13:00,155
Okay, um, you know the old classics like,
you know, "You look nice"?
198
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:01,448
They're still okay.
199
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:05,035
But "you look nice" could mean
that I'm saying, "Your face looks nice."
200
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:07,788
I want to compliment your body.
201
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,333
I mean, I wouldn't change it at all.
202
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:15,253
And more specifically, I wouldn't
want anything to get any bigger.
203
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:17,964
- Okay.
- I mean...
204
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,259
...you wouldn't want any part of me
to get any bigger, would you?
205
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,056
Don't answer that.
206
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,896
Just when you thought that dude
couldn't get any weirder.
207
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,817
I know. Why do you think he was
so worried about me getting bigger?
208
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,110
I don't know.
I mean, what brought that on'?
209
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,281
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know what?
We're trying to get pregnant...
210
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,785
...so he's probably starting to freak out
that my body's gonna change.
211
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:49,412
- You think that's what it is?
- You heard him.
212
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:52,541
"No bigger. You're perfect.
Just don't get any bigger."
213
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,544
My God, he sounded just like
my high-school wrestling coach.
214
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,676
- I'm gonna have to talk to Chandler.
- Yeah. If you don't, I will.
215
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:06,596
Of course your body's gonna change.
Your breasts are gonna get bigger...
216
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,099
...your ass is gonna get bigger...
217
00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:12,185
...you're gonna lose bladder control.
218
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:18,191
God, it's just such a magical time.
219
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:25,699
- Hi.
- Hey.
220
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,034
Listen, I wanted to ask you
something about marriage.
221
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:30,120
Now you're seeking me out
to make jokes?
222
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:34,249
I mean, I can see if we're all hanging
out, but to come to my home...
223
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,877
No, I really want to know
how you feel about it.
224
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,714
- Why?
- Mike doesn't ever want to get married.
225
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,425
- Never?
- Never.
226
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:46,887
Wow. Are you still gonna
move in with him?
227
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:51,808
I want to, but I wanted you to tell me
that marriage really isn't that big a deal.
228
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:56,396
You know, that I won't be missing out
on anything. That marriage stinks.
229
00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,150
Yeah, marriage stinks.
230
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:05,405
I mean, if you want to see a man gain
weight and a woman stop shaving...
231
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,365
...get them married.
232
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,578
- That's not how you really feel, is it?
- No, I'm sorry.
233
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,749
Look, I know it's not what you want to hear,
but I can't help it.
234
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,334
I love marriage.
235
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,753
Seriously, you? Divorce-0?
236
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:25,800
If you have to call me a name, I'd prefer
"Ross, the Divorcer." It's just cooler.
237
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:31,056
Look, look, I know my marriages
didn't exactly work out...
238
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:34,392
...but, you know, I loved being
that committed to another person.
239
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,521
And Carol and I had some good times
before she became a lesbian.
240
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:41,274
And once afterward.
241
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:43,860
Anyway, I'm sorry.
242
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:46,446
Ugh. It's okay. That's how you feel.
243
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:50,617
But, come on, I mean,
living together will be great.
244
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,620
I mean, you guys have so much fun.
And you love Mike.
245
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,498
- I do love Mike.
- Yeah, see?
246
00:15:56,706 --> 00:16:00,001
And you were so excited about
moving in together before...
247
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,671
...and you know what? You should be.
It's a big deal.
248
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,424
Yeah, I guess you're right.
249
00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,760
Yeah, thanks. This helped. Thanks.
250
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:11,471
The Divorcer to the rescue.
251
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:14,099
- It's not cooler.
- Yeah, I just heard it.
252
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,149
Oh.
253
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,115
Rash?
254
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,500
Rachel?
255
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,141
So I can't do anything I like?
256
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:58,852
Hey, Rach.
257
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:03,773
Ah, perfection.
Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing.
258
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:04,983
- Honey?
- Yeah?
259
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,776
About that.
260
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:12,824
- Um, I'm going to change.
- Yes, but, honey, you don't have to.
261
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,118
I'm gonna get bigger.
262
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:16,703
Honey, I...
263
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,873
I love your breasts the way they are.
264
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:22,751
Ugh. Fascist.
265
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:26,379
Well, my breasts are gonna get bigger
whether you like it or not.
266
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:30,050
And it's not just my breasts.
My ass is gonna get bigger too.
267
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,885
Your ass?
268
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:36,181
And don't be surprised if her hands
and her feet get bigger too.
269
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:41,478
- They do that?
- It's kind of a package deal.
270
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:46,191
God, why? Why would you
want to do that to yourself?
271
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,110
I thought it was something
that we both wanted.
272
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:53,281
If it means that much to you, I may be
able to get on board with the big boobs...
273
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,575
...but the giant ass
and the big clown feet?
274
00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,871
Oh, my God, Chandler.
275
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:03,124
If you can't handle this,
what are you gonna be like in the hospital...
276
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:07,504
...with the blood and screaming and the
little person that's shooting out of her?
277
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,758
What?
278
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:22,644
Joey, why did you tell Chandler
that Monica was getting a boob job?
279
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,522
Because she is.
280
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:29,526
- Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
- Mm-hm. For your boob job.
281
00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,528
- Joe...
- It's over.
282
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:35,406
Okay, so I'm out $4000 and
nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?
283
00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:45,834
Hey. Hey, what do you guys think
about this: Ross, the Divorce Force.
284
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,878
- Better.
- Yeah?
285
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:51,089
Very cool.
286
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:56,553
Hey, Pheebs? You know, I'm really glad
you came to talk to me the other day...
287
00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:59,764
- ...and I hope I was a little helpful.
- Oh, yeah, you were helpful.
288
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:01,724
- Yeah. No, thank you.
- Good. Good.
289
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:05,270
Because the more I thought about it,
the more I realized...
290
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:09,107
...I don't think marriage is necessarily
the right path for you.
291
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:10,525
What do you mean?
292
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:12,777
I know the other day
in the coffeehouse...
293
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:16,072
...you were all caught up
in the whole soccer-mom thing...
294
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:20,451
...but is that really you? I mean, can you
honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
295
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:24,372
They are awfully boxy.
296
00:19:24,539 --> 00:19:30,420
I mean, I don't know, you'd be so bored
with marriage. I mean, it's so normal.
297
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,715
Uh-huh. Yeah.
298
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,466
Hey, can I help?
299
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:39,220
Well, we climbed up four flights of stairs,
maneuvered a narrow hallway...
300
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:43,725
...dodged a rabid pit bull. But these last
three feet are where it gets really tricky.
301
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:49,314
You know, sometimes your words,
they hurt.
302
00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:53,776
Hey, where do you guys want this?
303
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,571
Yeah, seriously,
because this is really heavy.
304
00:19:56,738 --> 00:20:01,159
I mean, not for me, because I'm only
pretending to hold it, but for these guys.
305
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:08,875
Just one last time on the marriage thing.
There's no wiggle room? None at all?
306
00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:12,170
No, but you don't want to
get married either, right?
307
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,588
Right.
308
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:16,132
Except that I do want to get married.
309
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:19,469
Couldn't have had this conversation
down at the truck, huh?
310
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,347
What? You want to get married?
311
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:24,182
Someday.
312
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,685
And hernia.
313
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:35,109
I haven't had a normal life. And I never
felt like I was missing out on anything.
314
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:39,697
But it feels like now it's my turn
to have some of the regular stuff.
315
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,284
If you wanted to get married,
why didn't you say something before?
316
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,411
Because I didn't know
how much I wanted it.
317
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,581
And I love you,
and I wanted to live with you.
318
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,708
I wanna live with you too.
I mean, let's do that.
319
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,002
But I don't think I can.
320
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:57,090
It was okay to move in when
I didn't know what was gonna happen.
321
00:20:57,257 --> 00:21:00,802
But I can't move in knowing nothing
is ever gonna happen.
322
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:04,722
Can we at least try living together? You
might change your mind about marriage.
323
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,267
Are you gonna change yours?
324
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,311
No.
325
00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:13,189
Me neither.
326
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:22,115
Um, I think I need to be with someone
who wants what I want.
327
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,120
But I don't want this to end.
328
00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:29,706
No, I don't want it to end either.
329
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,712
I can't believe this is gonna end.
330
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:41,342
I guess I'll have my stuff picked up.
331
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,262
Yeah. Okay.
332
00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:50,059
Okay, so, uh...
333
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:05,408
Good bye.
334
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,705
- Take it easy, Mike.
- Bye, Mike. See you later, Mike.
335
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,461
I'm so sorry, Pheebs.
336
00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:18,796
We're all sorry.
337
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:23,760
Look on the bright side.
338
00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:27,347
I mean, at least you
won't have to live with this ugly chair.
339
00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:30,433
That was here already, huh?
340
00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:32,852
I love you.
341
00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:48,117
I did it! I did it! Ha, ha!
342
00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:50,244
All right.
343
00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:57,877
I'd better take all I can carry.
344
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:02,298
Who knows when I'll be able
to get in here again, huh?
28944
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