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1
00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:29,010
Cha, cha, cha.
2
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:19,350
- Hot dogs here. Get your hot dogs here.
- One hot dog.
3
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,134
Right, sir.
4
00:03:25,050 --> 00:03:27,950
I said, 'Get with it, chick!
Get with it! What's the point of coming
5
00:03:28,050 --> 00:03:29,990
'if you don't go for the beat, huh?
What's the point?'
6
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:32,670
Yeah, but Vera, when she goes,
she really goes.
7
00:03:32,770 --> 00:03:35,310
You see, he does look like
Dave Brubeck only shorter.
8
00:03:35,410 --> 00:03:38,230
- I thought Brubeck was shorter.
- Oh, no. Very big.
9
00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:41,830
Well, I can't get with him.
I do try, but I just can't!
10
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,710
Him, he's so square,
it's like dancing with a load of dice.
11
00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:45,857
No.
12
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:52,390
Variety, Miss, Melody Maker.
I'll bring 'em back in the morning.
13
00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:53,616
Johnny!
14
00:03:55,130 --> 00:03:56,870
Johnny, this isn't a lending library.
15
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,416
All right, I'm not paying a subscription.
16
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,456
Hello, boy.
17
00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:13,230
I've got second in the third and third
in the fourth. I've got no appetite!
18
00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:15,870
Look, let's come to the Spieler.
It might break the box.
19
00:04:15,970 --> 00:04:17,590
- Still racing, Racer?
- What else?
20
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:20,190
I got a hot tip for you.
Meesa Masheena in the 4:30.
21
00:04:20,290 --> 00:04:22,896
- On you, too, better.
- Two salt beef on rye!
22
00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:26,014
- Dying to see your new look, Leon.
- Have you got music?
23
00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:27,750
- What am I, La Scala?
- Hi, Leon.
24
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,454
- You want this eat or take?
- Eat.
25
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,750
Two salt beef on rye. Four shillings.
Hi, Johnny.
26
00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:34,456
- How are the alterations coming?
- Expensive. And no.
27
00:04:34,570 --> 00:04:35,910
- No what?
- No nothing from you.
28
00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:37,190
I don't want no propositions.
29
00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:38,790
Did I make? I didn't make!
30
00:04:38,890 --> 00:04:40,670
I've got a big enough
proposition with all this!
31
00:04:40,770 --> 00:04:43,191
All right, so give me a cup of coffee
and I won't waste your time
32
00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:45,150
by telling you what to make
Leon's new expresso
33
00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:47,230
the most habitated teenage club in Soho.
34
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:51,460
- Thank you very much. One coffee!
- Make me up six salt beef on white
35
00:04:51,570 --> 00:04:56,030
- and four... No, two smoked salmon.
- To eat? Oh, no, it's too many.
36
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,576
To take.
If it's not against your principles.
37
00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:02,457
Oh, by the way, you heard
I'm handling the Beast Rhythm Group.
38
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,030
Beast Burns and his Beasts making a bomb!
39
00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:06,630
Six salt beef on rye!
40
00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:08,870
The rye's more fresher. Who wants Beasts?
41
00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:10,950
Everybody wants to listen
to music today, Leon.
42
00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:12,700
Everybody wants it!
43
00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:16,190
- So, what's with this new juke box?
- They'll fix it. It's music, ain't it?
44
00:05:16,290 --> 00:05:20,150
Leon, for half of what that machine,
with its degenerate can-music costs,
45
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,030
you can have
a real live artiste in this place,
46
00:05:22,130 --> 00:05:24,550
a personality,
someone that the kids will eat up!
47
00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:26,150
No. N-O!
48
00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:27,934
You're talking to an educated man, Leon.
49
00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:30,910
I could spell even four-letter words
before I was six!
50
00:05:31,010 --> 00:05:32,190
Take a night off!
51
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,611
Don't you want to open
this great new enterprise with a splash,
52
00:05:34,890 --> 00:05:36,390
something that will get you
into the papers?
53
00:05:36,490 --> 00:05:37,935
Now look at this. Just look.
54
00:05:38,370 --> 00:05:40,910
'Teenage kids making music in expressos.'
55
00:05:41,010 --> 00:05:42,375
It's creating such interest.
56
00:05:42,850 --> 00:05:45,990
- It's a good publicity.
- It's fabulous publicity!
57
00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:47,790
I can book you an artiste into here
58
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:51,019
which'll make this place beat out
greetings from Croydon to Willesden!
59
00:05:51,130 --> 00:05:52,620
The kids will come flocking in here!
60
00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:56,372
Cost you a mere £20
a week for a first-class artiste.
61
00:05:56,730 --> 00:06:00,150
- £5 cash. Booking charge.
- Some hope.
62
00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:03,950
- Hope, unlike charity, costs nothing.
- It's still too expensive.
63
00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:05,336
Six beef, two salmons.
64
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:07,350
I want you know that
I come from a long line
65
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:10,310
of small-capital big-hopers,
some of whom did not die bankrupt.
66
00:06:10,410 --> 00:06:12,390
Look, Johnny,
why don't you stick to drumming?
67
00:06:12,490 --> 00:06:15,030
You're a good drummer, boy,
but what kind of a manager!
68
00:06:15,130 --> 00:06:16,390
- Hah!
- What's so funny?
69
00:06:16,490 --> 00:06:18,413
I put in a few cucumbers to last.
70
00:06:18,570 --> 00:06:20,830
I was just thinking what
a great opportunity you're missing
71
00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:22,110
for the sake of a mere fiver.
72
00:06:22,210 --> 00:06:25,453
- I'm glad.
- Oh, well, that's how it is.
73
00:06:25,570 --> 00:06:27,190
Some fellas are just not
cut out for success.
74
00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:28,830
Ah, that's how it is.
75
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,091
Look, Leon,
76
00:06:30,570 --> 00:06:33,990
I'll book you a top personality
and throw in a group to back him.
77
00:06:34,090 --> 00:06:36,630
A mere 20, the package. No?
78
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,790
- A mere no.
- All right.
79
00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:40,830
All right! So thank you and good night,
80
00:06:40,930 --> 00:06:43,058
Leon expresso bar schlemiel!
81
00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,950
Hey, you're actually paying?
82
00:06:46,050 --> 00:06:48,030
I told you, foolish man,
I own a fortune in talent.
83
00:06:48,130 --> 00:06:49,950
It just so happens
I'm a fiver short tonight.
84
00:06:50,050 --> 00:06:52,110
Eh, Johnny, wait a minute.
85
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:55,896
For curiosity's sake,
what's the proposition?
86
00:06:56,010 --> 00:06:59,670
- No, it's too late, Leon, forget it.
- All right, all right!
87
00:06:59,770 --> 00:07:00,817
All right.
88
00:07:00,930 --> 00:07:05,310
So, book me a genius, but cheap.
That juke box will cost me a fortune.
89
00:07:05,410 --> 00:07:07,870
I shouldn't be doing this,
but for an old friend...
90
00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:12,498
You can do anything you like with me,
can't you, Leon? Just anything.
91
00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:15,692
Well, I must be out of my mind.
92
00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:22,854
- Want to come upstairs, dear?
- Now, Penelope, do you mind?
93
00:07:23,690 --> 00:07:27,217
Johnny, I'm sorry,
I'm getting so short-sighted.
94
00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:29,458
In your business,
it's better you don't see.
95
00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:36,580
- Good evening, my little Chinese rose.
- Wotcha, Johnny.
96
00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:41,350
- And what teenage folly are they up to?
- Just started Historical Honeys.
97
00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:24,990
Now, if you boys were good at school
and studied history carefully,
98
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,830
you'll remember tales of bygone ages.
99
00:08:27,930 --> 00:08:32,670
Let us turn back history's pages,
study scenes of dirty plot.
100
00:08:32,770 --> 00:08:35,190
In those days, gosh, they had the lot!
101
00:08:35,290 --> 00:08:39,590
First, Mary Queen of Scots in kiltie.
102
00:08:39,930 --> 00:08:42,058
She of treason was found guilty.
103
00:08:42,290 --> 00:08:46,614
Then she came an awful cropper
on the headsman's wicked chopper.
104
00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:49,341
Next, the Ides of March in Rome.
105
00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,230
And Caesar wished he'd stayed at home.
106
00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:54,350
'Cause on that day he passed away.
107
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:57,852
With his last words, 'Get tu, Brute!'
108
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:05,621
♪ You can look at the goods,
but don't touch
109
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:09,615
♪ Ah, the goods are the goods,
but don't touch
110
00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:14,070
♪ You wouldn't walk in Cartier's
and touch every stone
111
00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:18,110
♪ You wouldn't stroke a Mayfair mink
that wasn't your own
112
00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:21,590
♪ Which means unless you're serious,
just leave the loot alone
113
00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:24,580
♪ You can look at the goods,
but don't touch
114
00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:28,851
♪ You can value the stocks,
but don't touch
115
00:09:29,050 --> 00:09:32,338
♪ Though the stocks are in frocks,
you don't touch
116
00:09:32,850 --> 00:09:36,070
♪ You can't walk in the Dorchester,
Savoy or the Ritz
117
00:09:36,170 --> 00:09:39,710
♪ And open up the showcases
to handle the bits
118
00:09:39,810 --> 00:09:43,270
♪ Which means until you own
the goods, don't touch the exhibits
119
00:09:43,370 --> 00:09:45,070
♪ You can hover like an eagle
120
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:47,150
♪ But until you make it legal
121
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,710
♪ You can look at the goods,
but don't touch ♪
122
00:10:12,970 --> 00:10:14,210
Hello, Charlie boy.
123
00:10:17,090 --> 00:10:21,750
Come on, Alma! Ready, get dressed!
How can you strip if you're not dressed?
124
00:10:21,850 --> 00:10:23,270
The work's ageing you, Charlie.
125
00:10:23,370 --> 00:10:25,350
Oh, it's like
Smithfield Meat Market around here.
126
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:28,499
- So you're here, then.
- So I'm here, then. Kiss me properly.
127
00:10:32,610 --> 00:10:34,230
I was using my new voice tonight.
Do you like it?
128
00:10:34,330 --> 00:10:35,630
It was an experience, Maisie doll.
129
00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:37,670
Doll, I wouldn't have missed it for
50% of Val Parnell.
130
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:38,851
Undo me.
131
00:10:39,210 --> 00:10:42,150
You know, I think, um... Well, I think
we might go straight home tonight,
132
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,430
watch telly, have a few laughs.
133
00:10:44,530 --> 00:10:47,150
- I hadn't thought about it.
- Well, don't rupture your brain!
134
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:50,618
Oh, don't be. I'm all pathological
when I'm doing a show.
135
00:10:50,770 --> 00:10:53,870
It's all those bald heads out there.
It's like playing to an egg box!
136
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:56,910
- So long as you don't lay the eggs.
- I'm getting out of it soon.
137
00:10:57,010 --> 00:11:00,550
- So, at least mention my new voice.
- We could both do with an early night.
138
00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:01,990
I'm dying of hunger.
139
00:11:02,090 --> 00:11:04,377
Besides, I've got our supper already
cooking to death here.
140
00:11:04,570 --> 00:11:05,856
Sorry, Johnny.
141
00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:08,132
My teacher says I'm a new Judy Garland.
142
00:11:08,370 --> 00:11:10,110
Send me the bill for the testimonial.
143
00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:11,950
I told her to send you all the bills.
144
00:11:12,050 --> 00:11:13,734
It's nice you have so much faith in me.
145
00:11:14,290 --> 00:11:15,451
Do you want to take in the finale?
146
00:11:15,570 --> 00:11:18,590
Nothing personal, kid,
but I think I need some fresh air.
147
00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:21,500
You two. You've been running
nearly as long as the show.
148
00:11:21,650 --> 00:11:24,256
It's known as fidelity.
And your G-string's slipped.
149
00:11:24,370 --> 00:11:25,390
Shh.
150
00:11:46,650 --> 00:11:48,670
You know the trouble with nonstop review?
151
00:11:48,770 --> 00:11:50,310
People are always waiting.
152
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,458
You wait for the slummers to come in,
153
00:11:52,570 --> 00:11:54,910
the slummers wait
for the girls to go on stage,
154
00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:57,750
the girls wait for the slummers
to go home to their wives.
155
00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:00,070
Five shows a day, non-stop,
everybody's waiting.
156
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:01,830
That's life. We all have to wait together.
157
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,819
I love that Chinese philosophy.
158
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:06,691
Here come the raincoats.
You better flash those almond eyes.
159
00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:10,590
- Hello, Johnny, glad to see you.
- Hi, Kakky, how's the film business?
160
00:12:10,690 --> 00:12:14,990
Ah, I have very interesting plans
with Dietrich the girl, Gable the boy
161
00:12:15,090 --> 00:12:17,350
and Brando for my heavy.
Good chemistry, huh?
162
00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:19,870
Now, look, Kakky, do me a favour
and tap somebody else this week.
163
00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:22,110
It sparkles! Something.
164
00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:25,771
All I've gotta do, get these three
people and I am back in business!
165
00:12:25,890 --> 00:12:29,497
Good, good. We'll all buy tickets.
Now, where the hell is Maisie? Maisie!
166
00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:33,012
You know, I was the man who introduced
the bubble bath into show business!
167
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:36,830
- Well, the bubble's burst now, Dad.
- Tell Maisie to get the lead out.
168
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:40,710
Who first bathed a girl in ass's milk?
Answer me that.
169
00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:43,870
When I made
The Private Life of Omar Khayyam.
170
00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:47,310
- Does 10 shillings speak?
- Mmm, you'll be my associate producer.
171
00:12:47,410 --> 00:12:50,459
- Be great, be great.
- Dietrich the girl, Gable the man and...
172
00:12:50,730 --> 00:12:51,891
Good night!
173
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:54,350
So what did you do?
Decide to give them another show?
174
00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:55,550
Here, carry the dinner.
175
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,310
- Why can't we go out sometimes?
- Maisie...
176
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,060
Why can't we see a bit of life?
177
00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:00,790
Five shows a day, you see life, Maisie.
178
00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:02,830
I'm taking you home
for a little light relief.
179
00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:06,190
- Johnny Jackson, I want to dance.
- But you've been dancing all day!
180
00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:09,350
- I want to go to a jazz club.
- Look, definitely no jazz.
181
00:13:09,450 --> 00:13:10,870
So, why're you against jazz
all of a sudden?
182
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,110
- Look, Mais...
- It's ridiculous.
183
00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:13,950
You're making money out of these things,
184
00:13:14,050 --> 00:13:15,750
so why shouldn't we
listen to 'em, occasionally?
185
00:13:15,850 --> 00:13:17,870
Maisie, why do you have to torture me?
186
00:13:17,970 --> 00:13:19,390
A woman has moods.
187
00:13:19,490 --> 00:13:21,572
But, Maisie doll, can't you listen to...
188
00:14:01,290 --> 00:14:04,373
- Hi, Johnny, how's you, man?
- Hallelujah!
189
00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:27,230
Johnny, I wanna dance!
190
00:14:27,330 --> 00:14:29,617
Sure, sure. I'll go and see
if Arthur Murray's around someplace.
191
00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:31,150
Cokes, Peps or coffee?
192
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:34,140
One of each. We like to mix our drinks.
The sky's the limit, doll!
193
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,790
Well, give me a sandwich. I'm hungry.
194
00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:39,621
What, and spoil your supper? Here.
Chew on this for a while.
195
00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:46,931
Here he comes. If we're lucky,
we'll be witness to an affray.
196
00:14:52,010 --> 00:14:54,297
- Come on.
- And if I did?
197
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,190
And if things weren't bad enough,
198
00:15:04,290 --> 00:15:07,230
we have to pick on amateur talent night.
Come on, let's go.
199
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:09,936
Sit down. This is my night out, remember?
200
00:15:31,970 --> 00:15:33,630
Oh, come on, kid,
we've got homework to do.
201
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:35,150
Sit down.
202
00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:37,457
Bad for your reputation as a manager
to be seen working.
203
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:38,630
Beast.
204
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,350
Oh, hello. Hiya, talent.
205
00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:43,110
Beast, you shouldn't let these
spare-time geniuses use your skins.
206
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,656
I'm not a musician any more,
I'm a wet nurse.
207
00:15:48,690 --> 00:15:49,976
One...
208
00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:52,661
Two... Three...
209
00:15:53,890 --> 00:15:56,018
Four... Five...
210
00:15:57,450 --> 00:15:59,578
Six... Seven...
211
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:01,870
Eight!
212
00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:04,735
♪ Well, love ain't no lady
213
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:08,710
♪ And love ain't no fool
214
00:16:08,810 --> 00:16:11,973
♪ Young love is rough and tough
215
00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:17,251
♪ And if you wanna win,
you gotta play it real cool
216
00:16:18,050 --> 00:16:21,418
♪ Yeah, love, like a fire
217
00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:24,700
♪ Cosy and bright
218
00:16:25,370 --> 00:16:27,896
♪ Warms you with flames of desire
219
00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:33,814
♪ And burns you up all day
and tears your heart out at night
220
00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:38,070
♪ Oh, when her lips look real invitin'
221
00:16:38,170 --> 00:16:40,741
♪ Brother, you're hit
222
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:44,577
♪ Just take it slow, oh, daddio
223
00:16:44,730 --> 00:16:47,990
♪ You'll live it up and soon be dead
224
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,457
♪ Love is a fever
225
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:54,139
♪ Death in disguise
226
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:57,590
♪ Love has no rules for fools
227
00:16:57,690 --> 00:17:01,990
♪ Who fall for all the lies
that women tell with their eyes
228
00:17:02,090 --> 00:17:04,358
♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah! ♪
229
00:17:16,930 --> 00:17:19,456
♪ Love is a fever
230
00:17:19,570 --> 00:17:23,190
♪ Yeah, death in disguise
231
00:17:23,290 --> 00:17:26,658
♪ Love has no rules for fools
232
00:17:26,770 --> 00:17:32,230
♪ Who fall for all the lies
that women tell with their eyes
233
00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:36,350
♪ Oh, just take it slow, oh, daddio
234
00:17:36,450 --> 00:17:41,900
♪ You'll live it up and soon be dead ♪
235
00:17:44,290 --> 00:17:46,941
I'd say that child's got more
sex than age.
236
00:17:47,050 --> 00:17:49,293
How would I know? I'm abnormally normal.
237
00:17:52,450 --> 00:17:54,259
- Leon's Tom-Tom!
- Say again.
238
00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:56,830
I've got the perfect setting
for all this teenage violence.
239
00:17:56,930 --> 00:17:59,695
Here, you carry on with your dinner.
I'll be right back.
240
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,830
You, uh, strangle the old vocal cords
very effectively, my boy.
241
00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:06,455
- Do what?
- The old tonsil caper.
242
00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:07,950
Ah, that's nothing.
243
00:18:08,050 --> 00:18:09,790
It's the old drums I fancy.
244
00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:12,211
I got the rhythm kind of natural, like.
It comes natural.
245
00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:14,070
It's that golden voice
you want to cultivate.
246
00:18:14,170 --> 00:18:16,013
Any schmuck can irritate those skins.
247
00:18:16,210 --> 00:18:17,670
I wanna play drums.
248
00:18:17,770 --> 00:18:19,750
Well, um, perhaps
I can arrange that for you.
249
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:21,950
Now, look.
Let's discuss it over a cool Coke.
250
00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:24,052
- Are you a teacher, then?
- No, professor.
251
00:18:24,850 --> 00:18:26,910
- Got no money for lessons.
- Naturally. Who has?
252
00:18:27,010 --> 00:18:28,500
- Two vintage Cokes, Elvis.
- I've got one, thanks.
253
00:18:28,610 --> 00:18:31,590
Thank you and good night,
Johnny Jackson. P.S., sleep well.
254
00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:35,376
Maisie, I want you to meet
a talent of the first order.
255
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:37,658
- Um, what's your name, kid?
- Bert Rudge.
256
00:18:37,770 --> 00:18:40,870
- Bert Rudge, this is Maisie King.
- How are you? You have the dessert.
257
00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:42,620
It's been yet another memorable evening!
258
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:44,550
Oh, wait a minute, doll! Wait a minute.
259
00:18:44,650 --> 00:18:46,254
Here. Put your address down there.
260
00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:47,656
I'll talk to you
first thing in the morning.
261
00:18:48,050 --> 00:18:50,270
I gotta go to work tomorrow morning.
262
00:18:50,370 --> 00:18:52,054
I work the Fun Fair,
bottom of Frith Street.
263
00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:55,140
- What, with that golden talent?
- Are you sending me up?
264
00:18:55,650 --> 00:18:57,254
- Who looks after you, kid?
- Me.
265
00:18:57,410 --> 00:19:00,573
- No manager?
- What, for this? I do it for kicks.
266
00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:02,894
Well, you're off sick tomorrow, son.
267
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:04,500
You've got a great future as a singer.
268
00:19:04,730 --> 00:19:06,870
I don't want to sing,
I want to play drums.
269
00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:08,870
You shall have my own personal kit.
270
00:19:08,970 --> 00:19:10,390
I'll see you at your home
first thing in the morning.
271
00:19:10,490 --> 00:19:11,855
Oh, and by the way,
272
00:19:12,570 --> 00:19:15,653
your first lesson as a professional,
no more singing for free.
273
00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:16,830
Oh, I've left my dinner behind.
274
00:19:16,930 --> 00:19:19,251
You carried me away, kid! Carried me away!
275
00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:24,190
And how's the most unavailable
strip in town?
276
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:26,372
Still doing her own stripping. Thank you.
277
00:19:26,490 --> 00:19:27,990
Get back to your washboard, scrubber.
278
00:19:28,090 --> 00:19:29,350
I'm switching you to an expresso.
279
00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:31,020
- Oh, no...
- Oh, yes. Get.
280
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:33,550
You owe me money. Work for it.
281
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:36,830
Look, Maisie doll, I'm always waiting
for you while you're singing, don't I?
282
00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:38,500
So, you can wait for me while I'm working.
283
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:40,150
All right, but let's go somewhere.
284
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:43,379
We're going! Home!
And your breath smells of garlic.
285
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:49,390
The pickled cucumber's leaking
all over my hand. Sorry.
286
00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:50,855
My favourite perfume.
287
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:52,670
Salt beef.
288
00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:55,750
Are we always going to celebrate
our lover's tiffs with delicatessen?
289
00:19:55,850 --> 00:19:57,270
You know caviar gives you a rash.
290
00:19:57,370 --> 00:19:59,896
Leon's sandwiches are the worst in Soho.
291
00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:01,870
That fur isn't the best either.
292
00:20:01,970 --> 00:20:03,790
You know, as soon as
I make my first million...
293
00:20:03,890 --> 00:20:05,938
- Yes?
- I'm gonna have it cleaned for you.
294
00:20:14,690 --> 00:20:16,215
All right, so, tell me.
295
00:20:16,730 --> 00:20:19,950
Tell you what? We're back in camp,
far from the Indians. Relax.
296
00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:21,230
I don't want to relax.
297
00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:23,350
I'm still waiting to hear
what you thought of my new voice.
298
00:20:23,450 --> 00:20:26,496
Mmm, I think I made the right choice.
Delicious. Still lukewarm.
299
00:20:26,610 --> 00:20:28,110
- Johnny...
- You're a lucky kid!
300
00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:31,350
- I'd like your opinion!
- Black Velvet without the champagne.
301
00:20:31,450 --> 00:20:33,259
I want an honest opinion.
302
00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:35,211
Relax.
303
00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:38,458
I'll tell you. No charge.
304
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:39,790
I'm not in the mood.
305
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:42,097
- I want a frank opinion.
- So take your things off.
306
00:20:44,050 --> 00:20:47,213
How can I give you an honest opinion
while you're dressed?
307
00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:52,056
Maisie...
308
00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:56,630
Maisie, did we walk 'round London
with you like that?
309
00:20:56,730 --> 00:20:59,190
Well, there's not much point in
putting my things on at the theatre
310
00:20:59,290 --> 00:21:00,870
if I've gotta to take 'em
all off again, here.
311
00:21:00,970 --> 00:21:03,550
- Supposing you had an accident.
- You're the only accident I ever had.
312
00:21:03,650 --> 00:21:04,870
Oh, I love your love talk.
313
00:21:04,970 --> 00:21:06,938
No, I don't want a man, I want a manager.
314
00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:09,230
Tell me first
what you thought of my number.
315
00:21:09,330 --> 00:21:10,855
Well...
316
00:21:11,810 --> 00:21:15,496
Well, Maisie...
You're a highly talented girl, but...
317
00:21:15,610 --> 00:21:17,772
- You didn't like it.
- Well...
318
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:21,659
- It's a small voice, Maisie.
- It's getting bigger every lesson!
319
00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:23,350
Well, yes, but, um...
320
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:26,190
Oh, be like me, doll, give up gracefully.
321
00:21:26,290 --> 00:21:27,860
Thanks for nothing, pig!
322
00:21:32,010 --> 00:21:34,790
Look at that bed!
How can you live like this?
323
00:21:34,890 --> 00:21:36,301
Come on, let's make it.
324
00:21:37,210 --> 00:21:39,070
Now, look, Maisie,
there's no point making it...
325
00:21:39,170 --> 00:21:40,695
I said, make it!
326
00:21:41,410 --> 00:21:43,550
Don't act like we're married.
It spoils everything.
327
00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:46,310
Nobody else in the world is so
pathological about the word marriage.
328
00:21:46,410 --> 00:21:47,630
Come, straighten these.
329
00:21:47,730 --> 00:21:50,779
Well, haven't I been faithful to you
for two years? As far as you know.
330
00:21:50,890 --> 00:21:52,390
You want the Tin Pan Alley award?
331
00:21:52,490 --> 00:21:55,030
I'm only faithful
because I'm not married to you.
332
00:21:55,130 --> 00:21:57,190
Only a married man is unfaithful, Maisie.
333
00:21:57,290 --> 00:21:59,611
The sheet comes
before the blanket, nowadays.
334
00:21:59,730 --> 00:22:02,350
- So, my voice doesn't move you?
- Oh, sure I'm moved, doll,
335
00:22:02,450 --> 00:22:04,100
but this is no playground.
336
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:06,611
It's a jungle.
337
00:22:06,930 --> 00:22:09,661
And it eats up pretty little birds
like you in great quantities.
338
00:22:10,490 --> 00:22:11,571
They get swallowed up.
339
00:22:11,850 --> 00:22:14,251
Nobody ever knows they've gone,
nobody ever misses them.
340
00:22:15,090 --> 00:22:18,060
Are you trying to tell me,
in your tender way, you'd miss me?
341
00:22:22,370 --> 00:22:24,452
If you don't know already,
how can I tell you?
342
00:22:24,970 --> 00:22:27,655
You've got a wonderful way
of not saying a thing.
343
00:22:29,090 --> 00:22:31,013
I don't say it because maybe I'd mean it.
344
00:22:31,970 --> 00:22:34,780
And anything I mean,
I'm not foolhardy enough to say.
345
00:22:36,010 --> 00:22:37,978
Can't you say it just once?
346
00:22:38,450 --> 00:22:41,181
Say what you mean in this jungle,
and you're a dead jackal.
347
00:22:42,770 --> 00:22:45,790
How did I ever tangle with you?
You're not my girlhood dream at all!
348
00:22:45,890 --> 00:22:46,910
I want you to know that.
349
00:22:47,010 --> 00:22:49,190
- Now, Maisie...
- Give me the pillow!
350
00:22:49,290 --> 00:22:53,230
All I'm saying is, enjoy your lessons,
but don't expect too much,
351
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,492
because practically
nobody's a star, Maisie.
352
00:22:55,610 --> 00:22:56,670
Including most stars.
353
00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:58,420
What's with this Bert kid, then?
354
00:22:59,010 --> 00:23:01,950
Well, this boy's our stake in
the future of British show business,
355
00:23:02,050 --> 00:23:03,336
and I'm gonna manage him.
356
00:23:04,690 --> 00:23:07,057
I'm just not with you
the way your mind works.
357
00:23:07,170 --> 00:23:10,110
You're always finding talent
that turns out to be untalented.
358
00:23:10,210 --> 00:23:12,270
I just knew, against my own intelligence,
359
00:23:12,370 --> 00:23:14,630
which I insult every day
of my working life,
360
00:23:14,730 --> 00:23:16,016
that one of these boys would make it.
361
00:23:16,330 --> 00:23:17,670
But not me.
362
00:23:17,770 --> 00:23:20,614
Look, Maisie,
I've only got a very small organisation.
363
00:23:21,050 --> 00:23:23,451
One artiste is all I can handle at a time.
364
00:23:23,690 --> 00:23:25,790
You just don't think of me
that way, do you?
365
00:23:25,890 --> 00:23:27,255
Well, I do that way, Maisie.
366
00:23:27,850 --> 00:23:29,056
But not that way.
367
00:23:30,090 --> 00:23:33,173
Well, at least he can't give you
what I can give you, I hope.
368
00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:34,451
Hope justified!
369
00:23:36,770 --> 00:23:39,250
You see what a waste of time it is
making a bed?
370
00:23:45,770 --> 00:23:48,310
Cor, look! Who's he?
371
00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:50,139
Boys, boys...
372
00:24:12,570 --> 00:24:13,790
- Yes?
- Mrs Rudge?
373
00:24:13,890 --> 00:24:15,494
- What if?
- Is your son, Bert, at home?
374
00:24:15,610 --> 00:24:16,670
- No.
- No?
375
00:24:16,770 --> 00:24:18,150
What's he been doing? I'll kill him!
376
00:24:18,250 --> 00:24:19,830
No, no need for violence, Mrs Rudge.
377
00:24:19,930 --> 00:24:22,550
I bring tidings of joy to you
and the entire Rudge tribe.
378
00:24:22,650 --> 00:24:24,070
Hey, what is all this?
379
00:24:24,170 --> 00:24:25,270
- Who's he?
- Where's young Bert?
380
00:24:25,370 --> 00:24:27,270
Nicer type of probation officer
these days.
381
00:24:27,370 --> 00:24:29,110
- Hiya, guv.
- Well, there's my boy!
382
00:24:29,210 --> 00:24:30,310
Now, you listen to me, mister,
383
00:24:30,410 --> 00:24:32,990
he don't tell me what he gets up to
at nights hanging around the West End,
384
00:24:33,090 --> 00:24:34,110
and I don't want to know.
385
00:24:34,210 --> 00:24:35,950
Don't speak to the gentleman
like that, Mum.
386
00:24:36,050 --> 00:24:37,390
He's the bloke I told you about.
387
00:24:37,490 --> 00:24:39,230
Gonna be my manager. He's gonna make me.
388
00:24:39,330 --> 00:24:40,630
Make you what?
389
00:24:40,730 --> 00:24:42,459
- Someone people dig.
- That's it, Mrs Rudge.
390
00:24:42,570 --> 00:24:43,630
Mmm?
391
00:24:43,730 --> 00:24:45,870
Our boy is gonna be
the idol of teenagers everywhere.
392
00:24:45,970 --> 00:24:48,150
Recordings, variety bookings.
393
00:24:48,250 --> 00:24:50,310
Why, he'll even open up
shoe shops for cash.
394
00:24:50,410 --> 00:24:51,870
And it only requires your signature.
395
00:24:51,970 --> 00:24:54,030
I ain't signing. It's all a swindle.
396
00:24:54,130 --> 00:24:56,390
Whenever I ever signed anything,
it's always been a swindle for me.
397
00:24:56,490 --> 00:24:57,550
Hello?
398
00:24:57,650 --> 00:24:59,030
I'd like you to meet my new guv'nor, Dad.
399
00:24:59,130 --> 00:25:00,211
I'll have a bitter.
400
00:25:01,050 --> 00:25:03,830
The pleasure is mine,
Mr Rudge, and congratulations.
401
00:25:03,930 --> 00:25:05,420
And perhaps you'd prefer to sign.
402
00:25:05,890 --> 00:25:09,656
- Oh, is he the man from the...
- Success, Mr Rudge, any moment now.
403
00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:12,451
You have produced one of
the major talents in Britain today.
404
00:25:12,610 --> 00:25:15,070
Yes, you, by marrying Mrs Rudge
and begetting Herbert,
405
00:25:15,170 --> 00:25:16,790
have contributed in no small measure
406
00:25:16,890 --> 00:25:19,190
to the pleasure of hundreds
of little people like yourselves.
407
00:25:19,290 --> 00:25:20,390
Oh, poor bastards.
408
00:25:20,490 --> 00:25:23,070
All we need is the signature and
a peep into the boy's birth certificate.
409
00:25:23,170 --> 00:25:24,190
Don't you dare!
410
00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:27,190
Now, Mrs Rudge,
when did you say the lad was born?
411
00:25:27,290 --> 00:25:28,870
I didn't.
And mind your own bloody business.
412
00:25:28,970 --> 00:25:30,699
It's nobody's business when he was born!
413
00:25:30,850 --> 00:25:32,070
Now, look, Mrs Rudge.
414
00:25:32,170 --> 00:25:33,310
It's just in the case of minors,
415
00:25:33,410 --> 00:25:34,870
we have to get things right for the book.
416
00:25:34,970 --> 00:25:37,630
I don't want no nosy parkers
nosing 'round my marriage business!
417
00:25:37,730 --> 00:25:39,334
Dad, tell him to belt up and get out!
418
00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:40,950
But think what a difference this will make
419
00:25:41,050 --> 00:25:42,495
to your standard of living, Mrs Rudge.
420
00:25:42,610 --> 00:25:44,230
- Here you are, handsome.
- Oh, lovely!
421
00:25:44,330 --> 00:25:45,750
- Here, give me that back!
- Now, Mrs Rudge...
422
00:25:45,850 --> 00:25:46,910
Oh, that's none of your business!
423
00:25:47,010 --> 00:25:49,741
But I'm his guiding light,
his helping hand, his mentor.
424
00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:52,176
I see.
425
00:25:53,770 --> 00:25:56,296
Ah-ha. Oh, I follow.
426
00:25:56,970 --> 00:26:00,099
My dear Mrs Rudge,
it can happen to the best of us.
427
00:26:00,650 --> 00:26:03,017
My own mother. Need I say more?
428
00:26:03,450 --> 00:26:06,215
That's right, Myrtle,
you always was too touchy about...
429
00:26:06,330 --> 00:26:08,790
You, shut up! You had your say years ago!
430
00:26:08,890 --> 00:26:10,779
You're his mum, I'm his old man.
431
00:26:11,290 --> 00:26:12,870
It's all that matters, ain't it, mate?
432
00:26:12,970 --> 00:26:15,190
This just makes for
an extra bond between us.
433
00:26:15,290 --> 00:26:16,870
We don't want all that shouting
all over the place.
434
00:26:16,970 --> 00:26:18,670
But you're the only one
that's shouting, Mrs Rudge.
435
00:26:18,770 --> 00:26:21,150
- Oh, yes. Definitely, yes.
- You belt up!
436
00:26:21,250 --> 00:26:22,331
So, come on, now.
437
00:26:22,770 --> 00:26:25,670
There's no need for self-consciousness
amongst friends.
438
00:26:25,770 --> 00:26:27,990
Just sign this little go-ahead
to handle Herbert's career.
439
00:26:28,090 --> 00:26:29,390
- Why should I?
- Where the dots are, Mrs Rudge.
440
00:26:29,490 --> 00:26:31,550
That little swine's never
brought me more than two quid a week!
441
00:26:31,650 --> 00:26:34,030
- Why should I do anything for him?
- Cor, haven't I got expenses?
442
00:26:34,130 --> 00:26:35,461
- I've got a lot of expenses.
- What about me then?
443
00:26:35,570 --> 00:26:37,299
What do I got for your
18 years except expenses?
444
00:26:37,410 --> 00:26:39,030
How much do you think
this haircut costs? Peanuts?
445
00:26:39,130 --> 00:26:40,230
Twelve bob a week, I tell you.
446
00:26:40,330 --> 00:26:42,617
- Down, boy.
- Well, she'll always on at me. Always.
447
00:26:43,370 --> 00:26:46,030
This isn't pie in the sky
we're talking about.
448
00:26:46,130 --> 00:26:48,070
Why, you'll even see
your boy on television.
449
00:26:48,170 --> 00:26:49,870
The beloved face of your own little Bert
450
00:26:49,970 --> 00:26:52,790
reflected in the hot cod's eye
which watches every home in Britain!
451
00:26:52,890 --> 00:26:54,830
- We got no money for television!
- Sign, madam,
452
00:26:54,930 --> 00:26:56,455
and you will have a contemporary home
453
00:26:56,570 --> 00:26:58,310
fit for British voters
to watch television in.
454
00:26:58,410 --> 00:26:59,750
How do I know what all this mean, all this
455
00:26:59,850 --> 00:27:01,270
whereas, where if and wherefrom.
456
00:27:01,370 --> 00:27:02,451
I don't wanna know about any of that.
457
00:27:02,570 --> 00:27:03,950
It's an insurance for your future.
458
00:27:04,050 --> 00:27:06,030
Have kids. Go on, have kids and get done!
459
00:27:06,130 --> 00:27:07,270
I don't know what we have 'em for!
460
00:27:07,370 --> 00:27:08,451
He's a good boy, Mrs Rudge.
461
00:27:08,570 --> 00:27:10,110
He'll look after you fine,
if you'll just sign.
462
00:27:10,210 --> 00:27:11,750
Have kids... I've got this drunk.
463
00:27:11,850 --> 00:27:14,350
He can't have two pennies in his pocket
without being a good-time Charlie
464
00:27:14,450 --> 00:27:17,550
with drinks all 'round for every
Tom, Dick and Harry.
465
00:27:18,355 --> 00:27:19,830
- Just sign...
- And that Edna there.
466
00:27:19,930 --> 00:27:22,350
Always after the boys.
Where's she going to end up? And him!
467
00:27:22,450 --> 00:27:23,710
Oh, stow it, stow it!
468
00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:25,790
This is all very highly embarrassing
to a stranger...
469
00:27:25,890 --> 00:27:28,190
I don't know. Definitely, I don't know
why we have kids for!
470
00:27:28,290 --> 00:27:29,940
I'll tell you what you had kids for.
471
00:27:30,050 --> 00:27:31,381
So you can bleed 'em white!
472
00:27:31,730 --> 00:27:34,790
- Call yourself a mother?
- Don't you talk to me like that.
473
00:27:35,250 --> 00:27:38,254
- Come on, you talented little Bertie.
- And don't come back!
474
00:27:38,610 --> 00:27:40,897
Poor bastard.
475
00:27:43,130 --> 00:27:46,310
Look, kid, you don't have
to go back to the Fun Fair.
476
00:27:46,410 --> 00:27:49,910
We can fix up a contract
over a nice cup of hot, milky coffee.
477
00:27:50,010 --> 00:27:51,390
Well, I'll just have a few shots.
478
00:27:51,490 --> 00:27:53,550
You know, it sort of relieves my feelings.
479
00:27:53,650 --> 00:27:55,220
All right, be my guest.
480
00:27:56,490 --> 00:27:58,811
Hey, Bert. Your old man's been around.
481
00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:00,390
Oh, stow the old man!
482
00:28:00,490 --> 00:28:02,618
Look, the kid's a little off colour
this morning.
483
00:28:02,770 --> 00:28:06,030
- Give him a dozen shots.
- But he shoots off more than he sells.
484
00:28:06,130 --> 00:28:09,630
Who cares about a few legalities?
Good shot.
485
00:28:09,730 --> 00:28:10,777
After all,
486
00:28:10,890 --> 00:28:14,670
the relationship between a manager
and artiste is one of friendship.
487
00:28:14,930 --> 00:28:17,934
You're a great shot, kid. Takes me back
to my few weeks in the Guards.
488
00:28:19,290 --> 00:28:21,590
So, um...
So, we hand in the old resignation,
489
00:28:21,690 --> 00:28:23,454
turn our backs on all of the fun
at the Fun Fair,
490
00:28:23,570 --> 00:28:26,779
and we go along to Leon's Expresso.
Are you listening to me, Bertie?
491
00:28:27,810 --> 00:28:30,461
That's better.
I guess I feel all right now.
492
00:28:31,330 --> 00:28:32,775
You can tell the guv I'm jacking it in.
493
00:28:32,890 --> 00:28:36,975
Oh, your courage will be rewarded,
my boy. Just sign here.
494
00:28:37,730 --> 00:28:39,230
Now, let's get this straight.
495
00:28:39,330 --> 00:28:41,936
Are you offering me money
for bashing the bongos?
496
00:28:42,050 --> 00:28:44,815
And your singing. Don't forget
the real gold part of your talent.
497
00:28:44,930 --> 00:28:47,150
- So, when do I get the money?
- You're holding up business.
498
00:28:47,250 --> 00:28:49,190
- This is business!
- It is?
499
00:28:49,290 --> 00:28:53,659
Now, look, my boy, we'll start you off
modestly on the expresso circuit.
500
00:28:54,090 --> 00:28:55,870
A lovely, loud little joint,
just around the corner.
501
00:28:55,970 --> 00:28:57,030
We'll crash off from there.
502
00:28:57,130 --> 00:28:58,973
England's only chance of getting
to the moon next.
503
00:28:59,330 --> 00:29:01,710
Sign here, you talented little child.
504
00:29:01,810 --> 00:29:03,050
Do I get the money now?
505
00:29:03,170 --> 00:29:04,456
Eventually. On this five-year contract,
506
00:29:04,570 --> 00:29:06,710
- we go 50-50, all right?
- Fifty what?
507
00:29:06,810 --> 00:29:08,710
All right, if that's the way you
feel about it, 50-50.
508
00:29:08,810 --> 00:29:10,494
- Shake.
- So, how much do I get?
509
00:29:10,970 --> 00:29:15,658
Look, from now on, half of everything
you earn is going to go to you.
510
00:29:17,970 --> 00:29:19,017
Bert Rudge.
511
00:29:19,330 --> 00:29:24,230
Hmm, a nice, honest, square name,
but just a teeny bit uncommercial.
512
00:29:24,330 --> 00:29:28,030
Now, let me see.
Uh, Crasher, Basher, Banger...
513
00:29:28,130 --> 00:29:31,691
I've got it! Bongo! Bongo Herbert!
514
00:29:31,930 --> 00:29:35,093
There we are, all signed and witnessed.
515
00:29:35,410 --> 00:29:38,414
- Witnessed? Who's the witness, then?
- I'm the witness, then.
516
00:29:38,970 --> 00:29:40,893
Maisie King? Is that you?
517
00:29:41,450 --> 00:29:42,497
Maisie's a friend,
518
00:29:42,690 --> 00:29:45,230
who, not knowing how to write,
gives me the use of her signature.
519
00:29:45,330 --> 00:29:47,094
What will I tell the guv'nor, then?
520
00:29:47,450 --> 00:29:48,781
Tell him to put up a plaque.
521
00:29:49,170 --> 00:29:51,741
"Bongo Herbert worked here." Come on, kid.
522
00:29:55,090 --> 00:29:57,821
First, Mary Queen of Scots in kiltie.
523
00:29:58,850 --> 00:30:01,456
All right, where are you, Mary?
524
00:30:02,810 --> 00:30:04,255
Hold it! Hold it!
525
00:30:05,250 --> 00:30:08,174
And who's the historical expert
who thought up that combination?
526
00:30:08,610 --> 00:30:09,950
Well, it's not easy, Charlie.
527
00:30:10,050 --> 00:30:11,973
They just sent along
a box of assorted tops.
528
00:30:13,210 --> 00:30:16,657
You didn't expect to go on television
in the buff, did ya?
529
00:30:17,250 --> 00:30:19,776
This is a decent, respectable country.
530
00:30:20,250 --> 00:30:22,350
You wouldn't talk to us like that
if we had a union.
531
00:30:22,450 --> 00:30:25,818
- Oh, belt up and break for coffee!
- Great!
532
00:30:28,170 --> 00:30:29,217
Hello, you.
533
00:30:29,370 --> 00:30:32,310
- Hello, star-maker!
- Hail, Caesar! Oh, Maisie.
534
00:30:32,410 --> 00:30:33,491
Hi, Johnny. Do you want some coffee?
535
00:30:33,610 --> 00:30:35,499
Hey, what's all the overdress for?
Royal visit?
536
00:30:35,610 --> 00:30:37,630
We've got 10 seconds
on some television show,
537
00:30:37,730 --> 00:30:38,790
so we're going straight.
538
00:30:38,890 --> 00:30:40,110
Well, don't let it become a habit.
539
00:30:40,210 --> 00:30:42,550
Now, look, Maisie, I want you to make
a telephone call for me.
540
00:30:42,650 --> 00:30:43,710
Why can't you make it?
541
00:30:43,810 --> 00:30:46,150
Because I won't be here.
I'll be at Garrick Records.
542
00:30:46,250 --> 00:30:50,460
Which is where I want you to telephone
me at 11:45 precisely and ask for me.
543
00:30:50,570 --> 00:30:52,190
But you know it's against the rules
to use the telephone.
544
00:30:52,290 --> 00:30:54,830
So give Charlie half-a-crown for his cut
in the infringement.
545
00:30:54,930 --> 00:30:57,661
- What do you want me to say?
- At 11:45 precisely,
546
00:30:57,890 --> 00:31:00,550
I want you to say, 'This is HMV.
547
00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:03,176
'Could we please speak
to Bongo Herbert's manager?'
548
00:31:03,290 --> 00:31:04,451
Repeat the message.
549
00:31:04,570 --> 00:31:07,750
This is HMV. Could we please speak
to Bongo Herbert's manager?
550
00:31:07,850 --> 00:31:09,070
Who's Bongo Herbert?
551
00:31:09,170 --> 00:31:11,390
I've just signed him today.
He's that great kid we heard last night.
552
00:31:11,490 --> 00:31:12,571
Fast work, eh?
553
00:31:12,810 --> 00:31:14,335
What's all this HMV jazz?
554
00:31:14,650 --> 00:31:18,132
Now, look, Maisie, you get on
with your act and I'll get on with mine.
555
00:31:19,490 --> 00:31:20,980
11:45 on the dot.
556
00:31:38,210 --> 00:31:39,790
- Mr Mayer.
- Yes?
557
00:31:39,890 --> 00:31:42,550
There's someone to see you.
Mr Johnny Jackson.
558
00:31:42,650 --> 00:31:45,494
- Johnny Jackson?
- Used to arrange music for you.
559
00:31:45,610 --> 00:31:49,296
- Says it's urgent. Would you see him?
- Normally, no.
560
00:31:49,810 --> 00:31:52,973
But at this moment, a pleasure!
561
00:31:58,650 --> 00:32:02,257
Mr Mayer, how are you keeping?
562
00:32:02,370 --> 00:32:04,976
I'm surviving, Johnny,
but it's against my own nature.
563
00:32:05,450 --> 00:32:06,630
Are you looking for work?
564
00:32:06,730 --> 00:32:08,790
Work? Haven't you heard? I'm a manager.
565
00:32:08,890 --> 00:32:10,550
Is the business so short of managers,
566
00:32:10,650 --> 00:32:12,459
it has to drag good musicians away
from their instruments?
567
00:32:12,570 --> 00:32:16,416
- Who wants to listen to good musicians?
- I want to listen to good musicians.
568
00:32:16,850 --> 00:32:21,030
Funny to think, Johnny, that you
and Aida are both things of the past.
569
00:32:21,130 --> 00:32:22,780
That's what happens
if you're modern in your time.
570
00:32:22,930 --> 00:32:24,011
Not bad, eh?
571
00:32:24,210 --> 00:32:25,450
Hmm, she'll do well.
572
00:32:25,570 --> 00:32:27,310
She's got gloss, schmaltz,
573
00:32:27,410 --> 00:32:29,590
and she carries her jewelled mink
as to a manor born.
574
00:32:29,690 --> 00:32:32,660
Just booked her show for television.
That's what it is today.
575
00:32:32,970 --> 00:32:35,257
- So, what's on your mind, Johnny?
- I've got a boy.
576
00:32:35,570 --> 00:32:37,937
Oi, please, Johnny, not you also.
577
00:32:38,570 --> 00:32:40,070
Everybody's got a boy!
578
00:32:40,170 --> 00:32:41,390
Instead of eating their fingernails today,
579
00:32:41,490 --> 00:32:43,030
they wear them down with the guitar.
580
00:32:43,130 --> 00:32:44,830
But this boy's got
a completely new gimmick.
581
00:32:44,930 --> 00:32:46,819
Yes, he plays the guitar with his nose.
582
00:32:47,290 --> 00:32:48,337
All right!
583
00:32:48,490 --> 00:32:50,590
All right, so I bring you a talent
because you're an old friend,
584
00:32:50,690 --> 00:32:52,070
and you treat me like schnorrer!
585
00:32:52,170 --> 00:32:54,150
Look, Johnny,
for the sake of our old association,
586
00:32:54,250 --> 00:32:56,173
maybe I could find you
a few arrangements to do.
587
00:32:56,650 --> 00:33:00,550
Mr Mayer, I'm not asking for charity,
I'm offering you Bongo Herbert!
588
00:33:00,650 --> 00:33:03,350
- What for a name, Bongo Herbert?
- All the big companies are after him.
589
00:33:03,450 --> 00:33:05,452
Why, Nixa, Philips, even HMV!
590
00:33:05,570 --> 00:33:07,990
Sure, sure, sure. And he'll be in
the next Command Performance?
591
00:33:08,090 --> 00:33:09,455
- All right.
- Do me a personal favour.
592
00:33:09,570 --> 00:33:10,550
That's I'm trying to do.
593
00:33:10,650 --> 00:33:13,017
I've got so many
of these young schmendricks.
594
00:33:15,010 --> 00:33:17,070
All right, you made your point.
595
00:33:17,170 --> 00:33:19,172
Nice to have seen you again, Mr Mayer.
596
00:33:20,130 --> 00:33:23,498
- What do you make the time?
- Almost 11:45.
597
00:33:23,610 --> 00:33:26,500
Thank you, Johnny. All the best.
Go in health.
598
00:33:27,730 --> 00:33:29,270
- Stomach tablets?
- Yes. New kind.
599
00:33:29,370 --> 00:33:31,372
Have one. 40% more pepsin.
600
00:33:31,490 --> 00:33:34,141
Listening to all this dreck
has made me a double ulcer man.
601
00:33:34,250 --> 00:33:35,590
I know how you feel,
I got the same trouble.
602
00:33:35,690 --> 00:33:37,550
- You're an ulcer man?
- Am I an ulcer man!
603
00:33:37,650 --> 00:33:39,190
Good. Now you begin to sound
like you're a manager.
604
00:33:39,290 --> 00:33:41,070
I can taste the extra pepsin!
605
00:33:41,170 --> 00:33:43,790
Sorry not to do business
on this occasion. But who knows...
606
00:33:43,890 --> 00:33:45,110
The telephone, Mr Mayer.
607
00:33:45,210 --> 00:33:47,870
Never mind the phone.
To see an old friend!
608
00:33:47,970 --> 00:33:49,110
Could be important.
609
00:33:49,210 --> 00:33:51,630
What's more important than friendship?
610
00:33:51,730 --> 00:33:53,573
Well, something could have dropped out
of the top 10.
611
00:33:54,210 --> 00:33:55,575
- Top 10?
- Top 10!
612
00:33:58,090 --> 00:34:00,058
- Who is it?
- HMV, Mr Mayer.
613
00:34:00,450 --> 00:34:02,670
They want Bongo Herbert's manager.
614
00:34:02,770 --> 00:34:06,030
I'm sorry, Mr Mayer, but, well,
things are popping. You don't mind?
615
00:34:06,130 --> 00:34:08,371
- It's a pleasure.
- Thank you. Hello?
616
00:34:08,730 --> 00:34:10,892
Johnny Jackson speaking,
Bongo Herbert's manager.
617
00:34:11,130 --> 00:34:14,339
- We're calling about Bongo Herbert.
- Oh, yes, that's right.
618
00:34:15,170 --> 00:34:17,616
Well, I can't give you
a decision right now.
619
00:34:18,410 --> 00:34:21,095
Well, you see, I've got a deal pending
for Bongo elsewhere.
620
00:34:22,170 --> 00:34:24,980
Well, of course your offer's
very attractive, but, uh...
621
00:34:25,490 --> 00:34:26,830
Well, we'll be in touch.
622
00:34:26,930 --> 00:34:29,137
And thank you for calling. Goodbye.
623
00:34:30,250 --> 00:34:32,030
Again, marvellous to see you, Mr Mayer.
624
00:34:32,130 --> 00:34:34,230
I'm sorry we can't do anything.
Maybe next time.
625
00:34:34,330 --> 00:34:36,571
Just a minute. Sit down, please.
626
00:34:38,290 --> 00:34:41,578
- I don't want to waste your time.
- So, where is this boy of yours?
627
00:34:41,730 --> 00:34:43,990
You want to see him
in his right setting, Mr Mayer.
628
00:34:44,090 --> 00:34:46,310
All right, so bring him along
and empty us a cradle.
629
00:34:46,410 --> 00:34:48,390
He's opening a new place tonight
at the Tom-Tom.
630
00:34:48,490 --> 00:34:49,670
Give yourself an outing.
631
00:34:49,770 --> 00:34:52,376
- Oi. All right.
- Do you good.
632
00:34:52,970 --> 00:34:54,950
As you leave,
kindly switch on Aida, please.
633
00:34:55,050 --> 00:34:56,461
With pleasure, Mr Mayer.
634
00:35:19,050 --> 00:35:21,451
- The kid's great, isn't he, Leon?
- Yeah.
635
00:35:21,610 --> 00:35:25,092
I get all my genuine Italian
peasant-style cups and saucers broke.
636
00:35:25,490 --> 00:35:28,390
- Oh, two free cups, Leon.
- You've already had six free cups!
637
00:35:28,490 --> 00:35:31,070
- From now on, you pay!
- We're doing great business, boy.
638
00:35:31,170 --> 00:35:35,310
It's a free cappuccino
to each new customer, isn't it, Leon?
639
00:35:35,410 --> 00:35:36,710
What's so new about you?
640
00:35:36,810 --> 00:35:40,451
I got a great idea for a great picture.
641
00:35:40,570 --> 00:35:42,030
Kakky, Kakky, the coffee's free,
642
00:35:42,130 --> 00:35:43,859
you don't have to give
a performance for it.
643
00:35:44,010 --> 00:35:47,901
Not at the theatre, Johnny,
to see your girl televisionised?
644
00:35:48,370 --> 00:35:50,670
Sure. Um, it's tonight, isn't it?
645
00:35:50,770 --> 00:35:52,590
Personally, I would never
compromise myself
646
00:35:52,690 --> 00:35:54,310
by making pictures for television.
647
00:35:54,410 --> 00:35:55,571
I'll be back.
648
00:35:56,490 --> 00:36:01,496
Hey, Johnny! Hey, Johnny, wait a minute!
Why them and not me?
649
00:36:01,850 --> 00:36:03,830
Why can't I get my Tom-Tom on Television?
650
00:36:03,930 --> 00:36:06,170
Strip, and I'll guarantee you a spot.
651
00:36:09,850 --> 00:36:11,579
Stop it! Stop it!
652
00:36:13,050 --> 00:36:15,974
From now on,
all free coffee must be paid for!
653
00:36:24,370 --> 00:36:25,656
Here, what's the programme?
654
00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:27,790
Television strip with mother?
655
00:36:27,890 --> 00:36:29,630
It's a documentary for Cosmorama.
656
00:36:29,730 --> 00:36:32,574
What, a documentary at the Intime?
What'll they think of next?
657
00:36:33,130 --> 00:36:36,293
♪ You can value the stocks,
but don't touch
658
00:36:36,610 --> 00:36:40,137
♪ Though the stocks are in frocks,
you don't touch
659
00:36:40,730 --> 00:36:43,950
♪ You can't walk in the Dorchester,
Savoy or the Ritz
660
00:36:44,050 --> 00:36:47,293
♪ And open up the showcases
to handle the bits
661
00:36:47,770 --> 00:36:50,171
♪ Which means until you own
the goods, don't touch the exhibits
662
00:36:50,290 --> 00:36:53,110
- What's cooking, flower drum girl?
- I am. Phew, it's hot in here!
663
00:36:53,210 --> 00:36:55,310
Well, it looks as if
the completely un-unique,
664
00:36:55,410 --> 00:36:59,150
unfabulous, unsensational
Maisie King is finding fame.
665
00:36:59,250 --> 00:37:01,790
- The lot look queer in clothes.
- Is Gilbert Harding here?
666
00:37:01,890 --> 00:37:03,150
Who's he?
667
00:37:03,250 --> 00:37:05,218
Why, you ignorant little lotus blossom.
668
00:37:05,330 --> 00:37:07,298
You can't have Cosmorama
without Gilbert... Ah!
669
00:37:08,730 --> 00:37:11,870
Good evening, Mr Harley.
I'm the press man for this joint.
670
00:37:11,970 --> 00:37:13,310
Don't go asking me for too many plugs.
671
00:37:13,410 --> 00:37:14,491
You're what the corporation
672
00:37:14,610 --> 00:37:16,550
- doesn't like about plugs.
- Who's asking?
673
00:37:16,650 --> 00:37:18,590
I just wanted to say
what a great idea it was
674
00:37:18,690 --> 00:37:22,390
for a serious, well-informed
documentary mob like yours
675
00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:25,858
to take a look at the way
these wonderful teenage kids live.
676
00:37:26,250 --> 00:37:28,190
All right, cut film.
677
00:37:28,290 --> 00:37:29,870
Well, that's extremely kind of you.
678
00:37:29,970 --> 00:37:31,893
- Simon.
- Uh, Maisie King! Maisie!
679
00:37:32,610 --> 00:37:34,499
Come over here
and meet a real personality.
680
00:37:34,610 --> 00:37:37,830
You know, my friend and I
are some of your greatest fans.
681
00:37:37,930 --> 00:37:39,390
Well, Miss King,
that was most interesting.
682
00:37:39,490 --> 00:37:41,830
It had an authentic quality
of gay delinquency.
683
00:37:41,930 --> 00:37:43,830
Oh, it looks much better
in the real costume.
684
00:37:43,930 --> 00:37:45,110
What did you think of my voice?
685
00:37:45,210 --> 00:37:46,870
What I admire most about these kids
686
00:37:46,970 --> 00:37:49,790
is their energy,
their vitality, their life!
687
00:37:49,890 --> 00:37:51,030
You know, straight after the show,
688
00:37:51,130 --> 00:37:52,495
do you know what
this little lady's gonna be doing?
689
00:37:52,610 --> 00:37:53,630
What?
690
00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:56,030
She'll be rocking like mad
with the other kids down at the Tom-Tom.
691
00:37:56,130 --> 00:37:57,590
- She will?
- Oh, and where's that now?
692
00:37:57,690 --> 00:37:59,590
Well, it's a sort of
contemporary youth centre
693
00:37:59,690 --> 00:38:01,180
on the other side of Compton Street.
694
00:38:01,690 --> 00:38:05,900
Come on, kid, dress! Let's get with it!
See you down there, chum.
695
00:38:06,810 --> 00:38:09,030
Well, Simon, we may as well wrap this up
696
00:38:09,130 --> 00:38:12,851
and get over to that Tom-Tom place,
see if we can get some candid stuff.
697
00:38:13,090 --> 00:38:15,030
What's all this Tom-Tom routine?
698
00:38:15,130 --> 00:38:17,736
This is our day, Maisie.
I should've had faith.
699
00:38:18,370 --> 00:38:20,670
I should have realised that
luck can be so undiscriminating,
700
00:38:20,770 --> 00:38:22,181
it could even happen to me.
701
00:38:22,290 --> 00:38:25,150
You know, if I get a plug in Cosmorama,
we may well be in profit.
702
00:38:25,250 --> 00:38:28,459
I could get advanced course singing
lessons for as little as half a guinea!
703
00:38:28,610 --> 00:38:29,691
- Get moving!
- Hey!
704
00:38:30,410 --> 00:38:32,070
"In profit", I love those words!
705
00:38:32,170 --> 00:38:34,550
Come on, kid. I want you all to come
down to the Tom-Tom with me.
706
00:38:34,650 --> 00:38:36,573
Why do I want to go there for? I'm tired.
707
00:38:36,690 --> 00:38:37,750
Yes, I wanna go to bed.
708
00:38:37,850 --> 00:38:40,150
Can't you keep your mind off work?
Now, come on, now. Be my guests!
709
00:38:40,250 --> 00:38:41,710
All the expresso you can drink!
710
00:38:41,810 --> 00:38:44,051
Make a night of it! Live it up.
Come on, now, get ready! Come on.
711
00:38:54,130 --> 00:38:56,781
How long have we gotta stay
in this nuthouse for juveniles?
712
00:38:56,890 --> 00:38:58,990
This is a recreation centre.
Go in and recreate.
713
00:38:59,090 --> 00:39:00,421
I'll be down in a minute, doll.
714
00:39:00,570 --> 00:39:02,950
- Where are you going?
- Come on, kids, I'm waiting for someone.
715
00:39:03,050 --> 00:39:05,550
Will you balance the budget
with all this secrecy?
716
00:39:05,650 --> 00:39:08,270
Look, Maisie, when I'm doing business,
don't waste my time with economics.
717
00:39:08,370 --> 00:39:10,910
Oh, you handle business so businesslike!
718
00:39:11,010 --> 00:39:12,430
Oh, do me a favour, Maisie.
719
00:39:24,810 --> 00:39:27,550
Evening, Mr Mayer.
Is the ulcer doing well tonight?
720
00:39:27,650 --> 00:39:30,051
I already feel
a small centre of irritation.
721
00:39:30,330 --> 00:39:32,710
What? Television for an expresso opening?
722
00:39:32,810 --> 00:39:35,070
- What else?
- How short of material can they get?
723
00:39:35,170 --> 00:39:37,990
It's the boy, Mr Mayer. He's mustard.
Just mustard.
724
00:39:38,090 --> 00:39:41,333
Mustard schmustard!
Public places degenerated so far,
725
00:39:41,490 --> 00:39:44,255
I'm finding great difficulty
in getting down to it.
726
00:39:44,570 --> 00:39:46,652
How low can you sink?
727
00:39:47,170 --> 00:39:50,333
Just a little lower, Mr Mayer.
It's down in the cellar.
728
00:39:53,010 --> 00:39:55,490
Well, here we are
in a typical expresso coffee bar.
729
00:39:55,930 --> 00:39:58,854
In this rather synthetically exotic decor,
730
00:39:59,370 --> 00:40:01,611
the teenagers relax
after their working day.
731
00:40:01,890 --> 00:40:03,380
That is if you can call it relaxation.
732
00:40:03,690 --> 00:40:06,590
Of course, you and I might prefer
the quiet atmosphere
733
00:40:06,690 --> 00:40:08,030
of an old English pub.
734
00:40:08,130 --> 00:40:09,790
But these youngsters get their kicks,
735
00:40:09,890 --> 00:40:12,734
as they put it, under plastic palm trees,
736
00:40:12,890 --> 00:40:16,990
where they sit to hatch and plot
their teenage rebellion.
737
00:40:17,090 --> 00:40:19,870
Let's see what they think about it.
You, sir, what do you think about it?
738
00:40:19,970 --> 00:40:21,495
- Why me?
- Oh, thank you.
739
00:40:22,090 --> 00:40:24,390
- Have a cappuccino, Mr Mayer.
- Yes, please, flat.
740
00:40:24,490 --> 00:40:26,140
Uh, one flat, Leon.
741
00:40:26,330 --> 00:40:29,698
This is my friend.
Miss King, Mr Mayer, Garrick Records.
742
00:40:29,810 --> 00:40:31,698
- How are you?
- How do you do, Ms King?
743
00:40:31,798 --> 00:40:33,664
Chat him up.
744
00:40:38,650 --> 00:40:40,870
Look, look, look what these devils
do to my paint.
745
00:40:40,970 --> 00:40:42,654
Just see what it does to your business.
746
00:40:42,970 --> 00:40:44,030
I always say
747
00:40:44,130 --> 00:40:48,499
this is the best part of the day for me,
just sitting peacefully, sipping cafe.
748
00:40:48,610 --> 00:40:50,630
At least coffee will keep me awake.
749
00:40:50,730 --> 00:40:53,310
As a matter of interest,
Mr Mayer, how do you sleep?
750
00:40:53,410 --> 00:40:56,459
- What do I want to sleep for?
- Please yourself.
751
00:40:56,570 --> 00:41:02,030
Awake, I can count sheep going
into the record shops buying my discs.
752
00:41:03,770 --> 00:41:07,741
Oh, don't you love this character?
I'll be right back. Make conversation.
753
00:41:09,010 --> 00:41:11,030
- Come on, Bongo baby. You're on.
- I just did it.
754
00:41:11,130 --> 00:41:12,950
Well, do it again. Just hog that camera.
755
00:41:13,050 --> 00:41:15,110
Wherever that camera goes,
let it find you.
756
00:41:15,210 --> 00:41:18,550
Right. Three, four...
757
00:41:18,650 --> 00:41:19,710
Of course, Mr Mayer,
758
00:41:19,810 --> 00:41:22,990
I wouldn't say my voice is quite
ready for opera just yet, but...
759
00:41:23,090 --> 00:41:24,950
Perhaps, you'd be kind enough to stop
760
00:41:25,050 --> 00:41:28,293
chatting Mr Mayer
and listen to this brilliant boy.
761
00:41:30,210 --> 00:41:33,030
♪ My heart was so heavy
762
00:41:33,130 --> 00:41:36,134
♪ With longing for you
763
00:41:36,650 --> 00:41:39,381
♪ My arms were so lonely
764
00:41:39,810 --> 00:41:42,177
♪ Lonesome and blue
765
00:41:42,890 --> 00:41:45,416
♪ Alone in my sorrow
766
00:41:45,890 --> 00:41:49,372
♪ I heard a voice cry
767
00:41:49,490 --> 00:41:52,270
♪ A voice in the wilderness
768
00:41:52,370 --> 00:41:55,101
♪ A voice from the sky
769
00:41:55,690 --> 00:41:58,710
♪ Have faith in your darling
770
00:41:58,810 --> 00:42:01,950
♪ The voice seemed to say
771
00:42:02,050 --> 00:42:07,853
♪ Be true to her memory
She'll come back one day
772
00:42:08,330 --> 00:42:14,790
♪ And though there was no one,
nobody to see
773
00:42:14,890 --> 00:42:17,950
♪ A voice in the wilderness
774
00:42:18,050 --> 00:42:21,179
♪ Brought comfort to me
775
00:42:22,370 --> 00:42:27,830
♪ We had a quarrel, I was unkind
776
00:42:27,930 --> 00:42:30,695
♪ Why did you leave me?
777
00:42:31,210 --> 00:42:33,750
♪ Love made me blind
778
00:42:33,850 --> 00:42:37,270
♪ My darling, forgive me
779
00:42:37,370 --> 00:42:40,579
♪ I yearn for your touch
780
00:42:40,890 --> 00:42:43,910
♪ Have pity, come back now
781
00:42:44,010 --> 00:42:47,030
♪ I need you so much
782
00:42:47,130 --> 00:42:50,498
♪ Believe me and you'll hear it
783
00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:53,898
♪ The voice from above
784
00:42:54,010 --> 00:42:57,110
♪ A voice in the wilderness
785
00:42:57,210 --> 00:43:00,771
♪ The voice of true love ♪
786
00:43:51,066 --> 00:43:53,670
- What do you think about him?
- Good evening, miss.
787
00:43:53,770 --> 00:43:56,150
But don't you think
the boy's got something, Mr Mayer?
788
00:43:56,250 --> 00:43:59,990
Something, he's got.
What it is, I don't want to know.
789
00:44:00,090 --> 00:44:04,300
But you can be frank with me, Mr Mayer.
What's your feeling about this boy?
790
00:44:04,650 --> 00:44:08,018
- Nausea, nausea!
- Nausea?
791
00:44:08,490 --> 00:44:13,257
♪ When I see this little bleeder
and compare him with Aida, nausea
792
00:44:14,090 --> 00:44:15,819
♪ Nausea
793
00:44:16,170 --> 00:44:20,150
♪ A boy who owns an Austin-Healey
Twice as great as Beni Gigli
794
00:44:20,250 --> 00:44:21,270
♪ Nausea
795
00:44:21,370 --> 00:44:23,372
All your life, you should be so sick.
796
00:44:24,010 --> 00:44:27,571
♪ When this talent's in the lolly,
if you take the risk
797
00:44:28,010 --> 00:44:32,174
♪ You'll make more than Bobby Rawley
from his nauseating disc
798
00:44:33,810 --> 00:44:35,870
♪ Call this music? What a scandal
799
00:44:35,970 --> 00:44:37,790
♪ In his grave is turning Handel
800
00:44:37,890 --> 00:44:40,734
♪ Nausea, nausea, nausea
801
00:44:44,090 --> 00:44:48,414
♪ All he need's a crew cut,
a sweatshirt and some jeans
802
00:44:48,650 --> 00:44:52,371
♪ And he'll be better box office
than all your... Hey!
803
00:44:54,690 --> 00:44:56,790
♪ When I hear these coffee barmen
804
00:44:56,890 --> 00:44:59,939
♪ And think what they did
to Carmen, nausea
805
00:45:00,770 --> 00:45:02,215
♪ Nausea
806
00:45:03,010 --> 00:45:04,990
♪ Years ago, they would be failure
807
00:45:05,090 --> 00:45:06,854
♪ Now, they're cutting out Sibelius
808
00:45:06,970 --> 00:45:10,577
♪ Nausea, nausea
809
00:45:10,690 --> 00:45:14,695
♪ So try to sell the meister singers
in expresso bars
810
00:45:14,890 --> 00:45:19,612
♪ All they want is shyster singers
plucking back on their guitars
811
00:45:21,370 --> 00:45:23,270
♪ When I think of Don Pasquale
812
00:45:23,370 --> 00:45:26,390
♪ And compare him
with this Charlie, nausea
813
00:45:26,490 --> 00:45:29,270
♪ Nausea, nausea ♪
814
00:45:31,450 --> 00:45:34,454
I want you to know, Mr Mayer,
that I appreciate your frankness.
815
00:45:34,570 --> 00:45:38,780
With opera, I lost my shirt.
Yet, from this rock dreck, I make money.
816
00:45:38,930 --> 00:45:42,030
All right, I'll give you £35 for one disc,
817
00:45:42,130 --> 00:45:44,451
two sides of your Bongo, no royalty.
818
00:45:44,570 --> 00:45:46,413
- It's a deal?
- Hard cash.
819
00:45:46,610 --> 00:45:49,670
It's a special concession to
an ulcer man, and in cash.
820
00:45:49,770 --> 00:45:51,420
- It's a deal.
- Good.
821
00:45:51,570 --> 00:45:53,572
- One, two and...
- Hello, Johnny.
822
00:45:53,690 --> 00:45:54,910
What do you think of them?
823
00:45:55,010 --> 00:45:57,695
Oh, kinky, but nice, nice!
824
00:45:57,970 --> 00:46:00,350
Fetches me quite a new class of clientele.
825
00:46:00,450 --> 00:46:02,270
Good, let me be your financial adviser.
826
00:46:02,370 --> 00:46:04,150
Always ready to try something new.
827
00:46:04,250 --> 00:46:07,857
Invest in a car. Love on wheels.
It's the safest thing.
828
00:46:08,050 --> 00:46:12,658
I think you've got something there.
Where do they put these things?
829
00:46:13,490 --> 00:46:15,230
Now, Penelope, you've been warned.
830
00:46:15,330 --> 00:46:19,416
It's a fine thing if a girl
can't look up a used car bargain.
831
00:46:25,570 --> 00:46:26,590
Hi.
832
00:46:26,690 --> 00:46:28,950
So, what's high?
Things have reached an all-time low.
833
00:46:29,050 --> 00:46:30,990
- Now what's happened?
- Exactly nothing.
834
00:46:31,090 --> 00:46:34,333
It's a week since I signed Bongo
to make a record, no record.
835
00:46:34,850 --> 00:46:37,296
A week since he opened at the Tom-Tom,
no paragraphs.
836
00:46:37,410 --> 00:46:39,870
- At least you got some money.
- Money? You call this money?
837
00:46:39,970 --> 00:46:41,310
Two pounds, seven shillings and nine pence
838
00:46:41,410 --> 00:46:42,750
and a life membership at the Tom-Tom.
839
00:46:42,850 --> 00:46:44,110
- Money is useless.
- Is that all you've got left?
840
00:46:44,210 --> 00:46:45,950
At this rate, Bongo's going to be
a very old teenager
841
00:46:46,050 --> 00:46:47,495
before I can retire
to the south of France.
842
00:46:47,610 --> 00:46:49,670
But the advanced singing lessons,
Johnny. You promised.
843
00:46:49,770 --> 00:46:51,190
Never. Not since I was a boy scout.
844
00:46:51,290 --> 00:46:52,451
You said the next...
845
00:46:52,570 --> 00:46:54,150
Sorry, doll,
you'll have to keep on stripping.
846
00:46:54,250 --> 00:46:55,830
At this rate,
I'm gonna be a very old stripper
847
00:46:55,930 --> 00:46:57,870
before I can retire
to the south of France.
848
00:46:57,970 --> 00:47:00,018
Oh, that's the brave little artiste.
849
00:47:00,410 --> 00:47:02,174
- What's for lunch?
- Guess.
850
00:47:02,330 --> 00:47:05,230
Same as I've been guessing for
the last 3,000 Thursdays, spaghetti.
851
00:47:05,330 --> 00:47:08,015
- It's special today, though.
- You mean it's not overcooked?
852
00:47:08,130 --> 00:47:10,258
- Remember what day it is?
- Black Thursday.
853
00:47:10,850 --> 00:47:13,774
- It's our anniversary.
- Congratulations. Of what?
854
00:47:13,890 --> 00:47:17,019
Two years ago, today, you bought me
my first salt beef sandwich.
855
00:47:17,130 --> 00:47:18,950
Why do women always want to
remember such things?
856
00:47:19,050 --> 00:47:20,230
Well, they do.
857
00:47:20,330 --> 00:47:21,630
- Why, I don't know.
- Now, look, Maisie doll,
858
00:47:21,730 --> 00:47:23,630
with all my money,
do we have to eat off newspapers?
859
00:47:23,730 --> 00:47:27,337
They're the lunch edition. I thought
they'd give you an appetite. Look.
860
00:47:28,690 --> 00:47:32,615
That, with meatballs and the spaghetti,
is my anniversary present to you.
861
00:47:33,210 --> 00:47:35,451
- Timber!
- How hungry are you?
862
00:47:35,570 --> 00:47:38,176
'Cosmorama presents...'
Oh, it's just like I thought.
863
00:47:38,570 --> 00:47:39,630
Just like you thought?
864
00:47:39,730 --> 00:47:41,150
Yeah, that's why I told him
to hog that camera.
865
00:47:41,250 --> 00:47:43,110
You didn't know they'd plaster
the newspapers with his face.
866
00:47:43,210 --> 00:47:44,830
'Cosmorama presents Teenage Rebellion,
BBC Television.
867
00:47:44,930 --> 00:47:46,030
'Saturday Night. 8:30.'
868
00:47:46,130 --> 00:47:48,590
Well, oh, I didn't know for sure,
but I knew! I knew!
869
00:47:48,690 --> 00:47:50,897
That's one thing I've got against you,
Johnny Jackson.
870
00:47:51,010 --> 00:47:52,990
In all the two years you've been
my sole agent,
871
00:47:53,090 --> 00:47:54,190
you'll never admit you don't know...
872
00:47:54,290 --> 00:47:55,630
Still out of order! Why do I pay for it?
873
00:47:55,730 --> 00:47:58,210
- It's out of order because you don't.
- Oh.
874
00:48:00,410 --> 00:48:01,550
Get this junk off the table!
875
00:48:01,650 --> 00:48:02,710
You're ruining these valuable newspapers.
876
00:48:02,810 --> 00:48:04,910
That junk happens to be
our anniversary lunch.
877
00:48:05,010 --> 00:48:06,070
Where are you going?
878
00:48:06,170 --> 00:48:08,910
I've gotta organise Mayer,
the press... Oh, and Gilbert Harding!
879
00:48:09,010 --> 00:48:10,110
But the food's ready!
880
00:48:10,210 --> 00:48:13,339
Listen, Maisie doll,
when I'm cooking, you shouldn't be!
881
00:48:13,610 --> 00:48:17,979
- I even got some wine! Red wine!
- Well, keep it warm!
882
00:48:18,810 --> 00:48:22,098
I hate wine! I hate meatballs!
883
00:48:23,970 --> 00:48:26,052
And I hate agents!
884
00:48:27,690 --> 00:48:31,150
♪ I wish I could hate
your method of lovin'
885
00:48:31,250 --> 00:48:34,870
♪ I wish I could hate
those dangerous charms
886
00:48:34,970 --> 00:48:38,497
♪ But what's a girl gonna do
who hates to love you
887
00:48:38,650 --> 00:48:42,132
♪ When she loves to hate in your arms?
888
00:48:42,250 --> 00:48:45,618
♪ I'm longing to loathe
your lovable laughter
889
00:48:45,770 --> 00:48:49,590
♪ I want to be footloose, fancy and free
890
00:48:49,690 --> 00:48:53,190
♪ But when I'm footloose and free,
it's you I fancy
891
00:48:53,290 --> 00:48:56,499
♪ Oh, worry, go-lucky me
892
00:48:58,850 --> 00:49:02,013
♪ I wish I could kill
our beautiful friendship
893
00:49:02,610 --> 00:49:06,270
♪ I wish I could douse
your passionate flame
894
00:49:06,370 --> 00:49:10,110
♪ But what's a girl gonna do
who aims to miss you
895
00:49:10,210 --> 00:49:13,498
♪ When she's always missing her aim?
896
00:49:13,690 --> 00:49:17,058
♪ I'd like to forget past,
present and future
897
00:49:17,330 --> 00:49:21,030
♪ If only my head and heart could agree
898
00:49:21,130 --> 00:49:24,870
♪ But you're my past
and my future at the present
899
00:49:24,970 --> 00:49:29,270
♪ Don't know if I hate to love you
or love to hate you
900
00:49:29,370 --> 00:49:32,817
♪ Worry, go-lucky me ♪
901
00:49:37,290 --> 00:49:41,630
One, two, three. I arranged
to get my boy national advertising,
902
00:49:41,730 --> 00:49:44,190
a 45-minute programme,
weekend peak viewing,
903
00:49:44,290 --> 00:49:46,213
and you haven't even got his disc out yet!
904
00:49:46,330 --> 00:49:47,456
He sings on this programme?
905
00:49:47,570 --> 00:49:50,050
What else can he do?
Interview the Queen Mother?
906
00:49:52,450 --> 00:49:55,310
- Fix a recording session this afternoon.
- This afternoon?
907
00:49:55,410 --> 00:49:57,590
Don't give me problems! Fix it!
908
00:49:57,690 --> 00:50:00,790
Your boy's disc will be in the shops
late on Monday. Satisfied?
909
00:50:00,890 --> 00:50:03,310
Satisfied. You've made
a wise decision, Mr Mayer.
910
00:50:03,410 --> 00:50:06,095
This will restore the public's faith
in Garrick Records.
911
00:50:09,290 --> 00:50:11,258
I suppose he's a likeable fellow.
912
00:50:15,010 --> 00:50:18,070
- Cosmorama. Which studio, please?
- Studio six. Got an appointment?
913
00:50:18,170 --> 00:50:19,830
Special urgent delivery.
Gilbert Harding. Personal.
914
00:50:19,930 --> 00:50:21,030
I'll phone him through.
915
00:50:21,130 --> 00:50:22,670
Oh, it's more than my job's worth
to keep him waiting.
916
00:50:22,770 --> 00:50:24,772
- Hey, you've got to be announced!
- I'm not proud.
917
00:50:25,170 --> 00:50:28,070
Yes, I know, boy, I know.
You may very well be right.
918
00:50:28,170 --> 00:50:30,230
But my personal view
has always been very strong.
919
00:50:30,330 --> 00:50:32,750
The Archbishop should come in
through there.
920
00:50:32,850 --> 00:50:34,310
Oh, my dear Mr Harding.
921
00:50:34,410 --> 00:50:35,950
I'd like to congratulate you
on the publicity
922
00:50:36,050 --> 00:50:37,710
for your Teenage Rebellion programme.
923
00:50:37,810 --> 00:50:41,310
- Extremely kind of you, I'm sure.
- Sensational, just sensational.
924
00:50:41,410 --> 00:50:43,230
- Haven't we met before?
- Oh, it's not impossible.
925
00:50:43,330 --> 00:50:45,950
My show business interests are extensive.
926
00:50:46,050 --> 00:50:48,830
As I was saying,
the ads for your programme are fabulous.
927
00:50:48,930 --> 00:50:51,230
Well, I'm so grateful to you,
but as you see, we're very busy.
928
00:50:51,330 --> 00:50:53,790
You see, I happen to be
closely related to this Bongo Herbert.
929
00:50:53,890 --> 00:50:55,190
The boy you're featuring in your advert.
930
00:50:55,290 --> 00:50:56,390
Oh, yes. You his father?
931
00:50:56,490 --> 00:50:59,030
- Uh, no, closer than that. Manager.
- Hmm.
932
00:50:59,130 --> 00:51:02,657
I'm afraid we cannot allow you
to use the film material of our client.
933
00:51:02,890 --> 00:51:05,870
But we've made him the keynote.
He runs through the whole film.
934
00:51:05,970 --> 00:51:08,150
I'm afraid our lawyers feel that
this programme of yours,
935
00:51:08,250 --> 00:51:10,093
praiseworthy as it may well be,
936
00:51:10,290 --> 00:51:12,975
is denigratory to
our client's professional status.
937
00:51:13,170 --> 00:51:15,270
Would you care to see the documents?
938
00:51:15,370 --> 00:51:17,896
We had no idea
the boy had any professional status.
939
00:51:18,010 --> 00:51:20,790
My dear Harding, the kid has records
coming out all the time.
940
00:51:20,890 --> 00:51:23,734
Why, Garrick Records have an immense
investment in him.
941
00:51:23,930 --> 00:51:25,990
You're not just exploiting
an unprotected kid, you know.
942
00:51:26,090 --> 00:51:28,150
I assure you, we have no desire
to exploit anyone.
943
00:51:28,250 --> 00:51:30,491
Anyone at all. Better sit down.
944
00:51:30,690 --> 00:51:34,979
We don't want our boy
exhibited as a teenage curiosity.
945
00:51:35,210 --> 00:51:38,550
Teenagers are regarded by the
corporation with the deepest reverence.
946
00:51:38,650 --> 00:51:40,652
By me, too, I assure you.
947
00:51:41,090 --> 00:51:43,390
We're quite prepared to pay
your client a fair fee.
948
00:51:43,490 --> 00:51:45,630
It isn't the mere money, Harding.
We're loaded.
949
00:51:45,730 --> 00:51:48,270
It's the principle of the thing.
How much have you in mind?
950
00:51:48,370 --> 00:51:50,452
- Fifty.
- Oh, please!
951
00:51:50,570 --> 00:51:52,030
Seventy-five. It's a documentary.
952
00:51:52,130 --> 00:51:54,940
Yes, but Bongo Herbert
isn't an inexpensive herringbone!
953
00:51:55,050 --> 00:51:58,750
We have the most eminent people coming
to discuss this Bongo and his symptoms.
954
00:51:58,850 --> 00:52:00,350
I mean, his art.
955
00:52:00,450 --> 00:52:02,230
It's a programme on the highest level.
956
00:52:02,330 --> 00:52:04,492
And 100 is as far as we're prepared to go.
957
00:52:04,970 --> 00:52:06,710
I've been watching you
very closely, Harding,
958
00:52:06,810 --> 00:52:10,150
and I've come to the conclusion
that you're a deeply sincere person
959
00:52:10,250 --> 00:52:11,661
and I'm gonna do my best to help you.
960
00:52:11,810 --> 00:52:13,870
Well, I'm very glad if you feel
that way, Mr, um...
961
00:52:13,970 --> 00:52:15,830
Uh, Jackson. So, we'll take the 100.
962
00:52:15,930 --> 00:52:18,070
Uh, ask your cashier
to leave it for me on my way out.
963
00:52:18,170 --> 00:52:19,990
- Very well.
- Now, about this eminent discussion.
964
00:52:20,090 --> 00:52:21,110
Mmm-hmm.
965
00:52:21,210 --> 00:52:23,790
I have one or two modest suggestions.
966
00:52:23,890 --> 00:52:24,990
- Mmm.
- Do sit down.
967
00:52:25,090 --> 00:52:26,580
Oh, dear.
968
00:52:26,690 --> 00:52:27,976
Now, my dear Harding...
969
00:52:30,330 --> 00:52:33,459
Well, here we are
in a typical expresso coffee bar.
970
00:52:33,970 --> 00:52:36,894
And in this rather
synthetically exotic decor,
971
00:52:37,130 --> 00:52:40,054
the teenagers relax after the day's work.
972
00:52:40,610 --> 00:52:42,070
- Am I on yet?
- It's finished.
973
00:52:42,170 --> 00:52:43,190
Oh, no, I missed it.
974
00:52:43,290 --> 00:52:44,830
Missed my first film. How did I look?
975
00:52:44,930 --> 00:52:46,350
You came out wonderful, Bongo.
976
00:52:46,450 --> 00:52:49,870
No kidding?
Hey, why wasn't Johnny here to see me?
977
00:52:49,970 --> 00:52:52,790
- What kind of a manger is he, anyway?
- For you, good.
978
00:52:52,890 --> 00:52:55,590
Probably holding Mayer down
to a hot television set.
979
00:52:55,690 --> 00:52:57,419
Perhaps I'll come on again, huh?
980
00:52:57,570 --> 00:53:00,910
Well, I don't know about you,
but that left me absolutely breathless
981
00:53:01,010 --> 00:53:02,500
just watching it again.
982
00:53:02,850 --> 00:53:06,457
Now, what is the answer to this
astonishing phenomenon of our time?
983
00:53:06,730 --> 00:53:07,870
With us in the studio tonight,
984
00:53:07,970 --> 00:53:10,655
we have a distinguished
panel of experts to discuss it.
985
00:53:10,890 --> 00:53:13,291
- The Reverend Tobias Craven.
- Good evening.
986
00:53:13,850 --> 00:53:16,030
An important Harley Street psychiatrist.
987
00:53:16,130 --> 00:53:17,291
Good evening.
988
00:53:17,410 --> 00:53:19,458
And last, but certainly not least,
989
00:53:19,570 --> 00:53:23,211
a man who has been responsible
for much of what we're here to discuss,
990
00:53:23,570 --> 00:53:26,938
Mr Johnny Jackson,
a well-known artist manager.
991
00:53:27,250 --> 00:53:29,901
- Hiya, cats!
- How the hell did he get on there?
992
00:53:30,090 --> 00:53:32,696
Oh, that Johnny.
He's a really deep character!
993
00:53:33,090 --> 00:53:37,061
Now, Doctor, would you say this was
just a healthy sign of high spirits?
994
00:53:37,210 --> 00:53:39,258
It's not as simple as that.
995
00:53:39,570 --> 00:53:43,575
Adolescents in our time
demand outlets for their frustration.
996
00:53:44,410 --> 00:53:46,230
See? You're frustrated, Bongo!
997
00:53:46,330 --> 00:53:48,697
- You need some bint!
- Seek elsewhere.
998
00:53:49,050 --> 00:53:53,021
The drums Bongo beats may stand
for someone he doesn't like,
999
00:53:53,370 --> 00:53:57,375
or they may be a simple means
of evacuating tension.
1000
00:53:57,810 --> 00:54:00,381
- What's all that about? Huh?
- Bint.
1001
00:54:00,930 --> 00:54:07,051
The whole mass of whirling conflict
surge up to a pounding climax.
1002
00:54:08,250 --> 00:54:11,094
Afterwards, in its relaxation of tension,
1003
00:54:11,610 --> 00:54:13,260
the face is almost beautiful.
1004
00:54:13,490 --> 00:54:15,550
Hear that? You're almost beautiful, Bongo.
1005
00:54:15,650 --> 00:54:17,030
- Do me a favour.
- Shh!
1006
00:54:17,130 --> 00:54:18,950
- Craven?
- Speaking personally,
1007
00:54:19,050 --> 00:54:21,132
I welcome the whole phenomenon.
1008
00:54:21,250 --> 00:54:24,550
After all, many popular songs
do have a touch of religion.
1009
00:54:24,650 --> 00:54:25,670
Uh, speaking for myself...
1010
00:54:25,770 --> 00:54:27,030
Of course, many others are frankly pagan.
1011
00:54:27,130 --> 00:54:28,390
Uh, speaking for myself...
1012
00:54:28,490 --> 00:54:30,270
We have to reach the people
at their own level.
1013
00:54:30,370 --> 00:54:31,496
Mr Jackson?
1014
00:54:31,610 --> 00:54:33,692
Still speaking for myself,
1015
00:54:33,850 --> 00:54:36,979
I would definitely say
that the Rev is onto something there.
1016
00:54:37,090 --> 00:54:40,350
This boy, Bongo Herbert,
we must all bear in mind,
1017
00:54:40,450 --> 00:54:42,976
is a real symbol of modern youth,
1018
00:54:43,090 --> 00:54:46,936
and this number which we heard him sing,
Voice In The Wilderness,
1019
00:54:47,170 --> 00:54:49,670
will, we believe, introduce a new era
in the hit parade.
1020
00:54:49,770 --> 00:54:51,590
Uh, the psychiatrist... Yes, Doctor?
1021
00:54:51,690 --> 00:54:55,615
Because get this, kids,
the disc of Voice In The Wilderness
1022
00:54:55,770 --> 00:54:59,138
will be on sale in your local
record shops any minute now.
1023
00:54:59,370 --> 00:55:00,790
Well, thank you, Mr Jackson.
There you have the...
1024
00:55:00,890 --> 00:55:04,310
There is, of course,
something in what Mr Jackson says.
1025
00:55:04,410 --> 00:55:07,459
I started a jive club
at our youth centre some time ago.
1026
00:55:07,610 --> 00:55:10,261
Later, we converted it into skiffle.
1027
00:55:10,490 --> 00:55:14,381
Now, I think it not impossible that
I start a bongo club in my crypt.
1028
00:55:14,570 --> 00:55:17,380
Oh, good for you, Rev!
A big hand for the Rev, kids!
1029
00:55:18,250 --> 00:55:21,459
You just heard the attitude of a really
great modern churchman,
1030
00:55:21,570 --> 00:55:22,731
if I may say so.
1031
00:55:23,170 --> 00:55:24,740
Just because we want a few kicks as well
1032
00:55:25,250 --> 00:55:27,173
is no reason we should be unreligious.
1033
00:55:27,290 --> 00:55:29,670
Oh, thank you, Mr Jackson.
There you have the...
1034
00:55:29,770 --> 00:55:31,910
And talking about religion, kids,
1035
00:55:32,010 --> 00:55:34,490
I don't want you to regard Bongo
as a substitute,
1036
00:55:34,810 --> 00:55:37,051
even though his latest Garrick recording,
1037
00:55:37,170 --> 00:55:40,094
A Voice In The Wilderness,
is the greatest you ever heard!
1038
00:55:41,050 --> 00:55:42,495
I am speaking on behalf of both
me and Bongo...
1039
00:55:42,610 --> 00:55:44,612
- Mr Jackson.
- ...when I say,
1040
00:55:44,970 --> 00:55:46,779
go to church this Sunday.
1041
00:55:47,130 --> 00:55:50,230
Me and Bongo often go together
to the same little local church
1042
00:55:50,330 --> 00:55:52,412
where Bongo was christened 18 years ago.
1043
00:55:52,970 --> 00:55:56,610
How can he say those things?
How can he lie so well?
1044
00:55:57,490 --> 00:55:59,910
...and his little sister and his dad,
1045
00:56:00,010 --> 00:56:02,581
who have made so many sacrifices for him.
1046
00:56:02,970 --> 00:56:05,790
Bongo gives thanks for all you
wonderful people
1047
00:56:05,890 --> 00:56:07,699
who've made his career possible.
1048
00:56:15,650 --> 00:56:19,621
♪ I never had it so good
since the day I was born
1049
00:56:20,850 --> 00:56:25,299
♪ Corn is growing
where there used to be barren soil
1050
00:56:25,450 --> 00:56:26,690
♪ What a life
1051
00:56:26,970 --> 00:56:28,790
♪ I struck oil
1052
00:56:28,890 --> 00:56:33,179
♪ I never had it so rich before
1053
00:56:34,730 --> 00:56:38,230
♪ I was sliding the slope,
then I signed up a dope
1054
00:56:38,330 --> 00:56:40,731
♪ Bongo, you opened the door
1055
00:56:41,650 --> 00:56:45,655
♪ I never had it so good
until I learned to be bad
1056
00:56:46,730 --> 00:56:51,452
♪ Glad to tell you
I'm no longer misunderstood
1057
00:56:51,690 --> 00:56:54,773
♪ I never had it so good, good, good
1058
00:56:54,970 --> 00:56:57,371
♪ I never had it so good ♪
1059
00:57:01,730 --> 00:57:03,950
We have to proceed cautiously and quietly.
1060
00:57:04,050 --> 00:57:06,630
It's number five in the top 10.
How cautious can you get?
1061
00:57:06,730 --> 00:57:10,630
Look! Look at my systematic planning
on the Dixie Collins LP.
1062
00:57:10,730 --> 00:57:15,213
She hasn't been seen here for years,
and already we have pre-sold 50,000!
1063
00:57:15,450 --> 00:57:16,950
Good for you. But how does it help us?
1064
00:57:17,050 --> 00:57:19,132
- We gotta have action!
- Shh! Quietly.
1065
00:57:19,330 --> 00:57:21,253
As a young ulcer man,
you should take things quietly.
1066
00:57:21,570 --> 00:57:23,390
Find a new gimmick
and make a second record.
1067
00:57:23,490 --> 00:57:25,492
You should pardon the suggestion.
1068
00:57:25,610 --> 00:57:28,230
But with a property as hot as Bongo,
I can go anywhere.
1069
00:57:28,330 --> 00:57:32,301
Sure, you can go to Nixa, Philips,
even HMV, after the second record.
1070
00:57:32,810 --> 00:57:34,910
Remember, I have an option.
1071
00:57:35,010 --> 00:57:36,830
Please.
1072
00:57:36,930 --> 00:57:40,310
If you don't want the boy, release us.
Let us make a little loot.
1073
00:57:40,410 --> 00:57:43,190
We consumed that few pounds of nicotine
and salt beef a long time ago.
1074
00:57:43,290 --> 00:57:46,897
My boy, business is a very unfair thing.
1075
00:57:47,490 --> 00:57:50,310
That's why I'm going to give you
a small percentage on your third record.
1076
00:57:50,410 --> 00:57:51,950
But we haven't made our second record yet!
1077
00:57:52,050 --> 00:57:54,870
First, we make a contract for the third,
and then we discuss the second.
1078
00:57:54,970 --> 00:57:58,870
I see. So, you do want the boy?
You can be frank with me, Mr Mayer.
1079
00:57:58,970 --> 00:58:04,150
The boy can be a first-class property
with Garrick direction. Understand?
1080
00:58:04,650 --> 00:58:06,910
- Yes?
- You car's here, Mr Mayer,
1081
00:58:07,010 --> 00:58:09,230
and the Dixie Collins press reception
is in half an hour.
1082
00:58:09,330 --> 00:58:10,390
Thank you, miss.
1083
00:58:10,490 --> 00:58:13,870
Details, we'll discuss later.
Now, I have to go to the Dorchester.
1084
00:58:13,970 --> 00:58:16,830
You know how demanding a real star can be,
1085
00:58:16,930 --> 00:58:19,190
even if she isn't twinkling
too brightly at the moment.
1086
00:58:19,290 --> 00:58:22,070
I know I can trust you to give
Bongo and me a fair deal, Mr Mayer.
1087
00:58:22,170 --> 00:58:24,980
You cannot!
But what alternative do you have?
1088
00:58:30,850 --> 00:58:33,630
Smoking, smoking!
What kind of a hobby is smoking?
1089
00:58:33,730 --> 00:58:35,790
You need a bint! I keep telling you.
1090
00:58:35,890 --> 00:58:38,990
'Bint is the best nerve tonic there is.
I personally recommend it.'
1091
00:58:39,090 --> 00:58:40,150
Signed Beast.
1092
00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:41,950
- Can't you get off it?
- Not since I was 12.
1093
00:58:42,050 --> 00:58:43,670
Sort of takes you by the throat, Bongo.
1094
00:58:43,770 --> 00:58:46,830
Got no time for all that jazz.
Besides, I got other problems.
1095
00:58:46,930 --> 00:58:48,614
Wish I had other problems.
1096
00:58:49,170 --> 00:58:51,350
- Hi, guv.
- So, what new gimmick have you spawned?
1097
00:58:51,450 --> 00:58:53,590
It's another Bongo in the moronic so far.
1098
00:58:53,690 --> 00:58:55,350
'When I beat my chick with a solid rock.'
1099
00:58:55,450 --> 00:58:56,630
Look, get with it, Beast.
1100
00:58:56,730 --> 00:58:58,030
Mayer wants something different!
1101
00:58:58,130 --> 00:59:00,670
So, why can't this be different?
We could put some more echo on Bongo,
1102
00:59:00,770 --> 00:59:02,990
wire up something or other.
Sing it for the guv, kid.
1103
00:59:03,090 --> 00:59:04,910
No, I just can't get with it today.
1104
00:59:05,010 --> 00:59:07,270
- I don't know what's the matter with me.
- It's that mother of yours.
1105
00:59:07,370 --> 00:59:09,452
Hmm? Has she been here?
1106
00:59:09,570 --> 00:59:11,990
No, but she's been in all the expressos
looking for me.
1107
00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:15,094
Mother! Hmm, Mother!
1108
00:59:16,090 --> 00:59:19,550
Mother! Maybe that's it!
A new kind of rock-with-Mother song!
1109
00:59:19,650 --> 00:59:23,132
A sort of Oedipus rock! Yeah,
that's what we should be doing, Beast!
1110
00:59:23,250 --> 00:59:24,590
Putting down in music what...
1111
00:59:24,690 --> 00:59:26,931
What Bongo and all the other kids
in the country is worried about!
1112
00:59:27,130 --> 00:59:28,790
- Me? I'm just an ordinary kid.
- Yeah, yeah.
1113
00:59:28,890 --> 00:59:30,150
Save the humility for the press.
1114
00:59:30,250 --> 00:59:32,981
Now, we've got to be
analytical about this.
1115
00:59:33,090 --> 00:59:34,310
Well, look at the headlines you've had.
1116
00:59:34,410 --> 00:59:37,030
For a few days, you've become
a sort of national anti-hero.
1117
00:59:37,130 --> 00:59:38,630
You're every poor little fish
in the country,
1118
00:59:38,730 --> 00:59:39,990
only covered in gold chips!
1119
00:59:40,090 --> 00:59:42,830
- Who, me?
- Yes, you, you talented little berk!
1120
00:59:42,930 --> 00:59:45,110
You've got a chip on your shoulder
and an H-bomb in your pants.
1121
00:59:45,210 --> 00:59:47,030
A sneer, a twitch, a hell in your head!
1122
00:59:47,130 --> 00:59:49,990
It's you against the world, baby,
and the world loves you for hating it.
1123
00:59:50,090 --> 00:59:52,350
That's what this is, a great hate number!
1124
00:59:52,450 --> 00:59:53,750
I've just had a vision!
1125
00:59:53,850 --> 00:59:55,870
That simple priest on TV the other night,
1126
00:59:55,970 --> 00:59:59,030
if he can get our message,
the least we can do is get his!
1127
00:59:59,130 --> 01:00:01,070
Now, so far, what have we got in the act?
1128
01:00:01,170 --> 01:00:02,150
- Sex?
- We've got.
1129
01:00:02,250 --> 01:00:04,173
- Beat? Violence?
- We've got. We've got. We've got.
1130
01:00:04,290 --> 01:00:06,179
- Bash! We need more bash.
- All that, we've got!
1131
01:00:06,490 --> 01:00:09,061
We've got it all, except one thing!
1132
01:00:12,250 --> 01:00:14,617
Religion! We've got to get religion!
1133
01:00:16,130 --> 01:00:17,859
Where are you going? Heaven?
1134
01:00:21,250 --> 01:00:24,710
Gent... Gent... Gentlemen!
1135
01:00:24,810 --> 01:00:28,019
So, Miss Collins is a little late.
After all, she's a lady. Isn't she?
1136
01:00:28,130 --> 01:00:30,630
- Only by sex.
- It's the routine star treatment.
1137
01:00:30,730 --> 01:00:33,030
I'm Surprised Dixie can still
remember the routine.
1138
01:00:33,130 --> 01:00:35,910
Rosemary's getting so terribly late.
I'm sorry, I really can't wait any more.
1139
01:00:36,010 --> 01:00:39,830
But Patricia, my sweet, I know how much
Dixie is longing to talk to you.
1140
01:00:39,930 --> 01:00:41,870
So are plenty others, dear,
provided I quote them.
1141
01:00:41,970 --> 01:00:45,230
What would we poor press agents do
without your marvellous column?
1142
01:00:45,330 --> 01:00:47,150
Yes, have another cocktail.
1143
01:00:47,250 --> 01:00:50,493
It's a privilege for Garrick Records
that Miss Collins comes to us.
1144
01:00:50,610 --> 01:00:53,390
For England, too, Mr Mayer.
Falling stars are just what we need.
1145
01:00:53,490 --> 01:00:55,030
What are we playing at?
1146
01:00:55,130 --> 01:00:56,461
I'm tired and I've got a deadline to meet.
1147
01:00:56,570 --> 01:00:59,390
To me, dear, you always look
as fresh as a midday edition.
1148
01:00:59,490 --> 01:01:01,350
I've got three more of these
tea parties to get to.
1149
01:01:01,450 --> 01:01:03,390
No, Eddie, don't be like that!
1150
01:01:03,490 --> 01:01:07,211
Angels, in all these years,
have I ever let you down?
1151
01:01:07,650 --> 01:01:09,550
Look, I know it's her natural environment,
1152
01:01:09,650 --> 01:01:12,859
but do you think you could possibly
drag your client out of the bedroom?
1153
01:01:13,010 --> 01:01:18,696
Ladies and gentlemen of the press,
your hostess, Miss Dixie Collins.
1154
01:01:21,050 --> 01:01:25,990
Hello, darlings! How perfectly
wonderful of you all to come.
1155
01:01:29,210 --> 01:01:33,270
Boys, boys, please! Will some gorgeous
gentleman get me a drink?
1156
01:01:33,370 --> 01:01:35,670
What exactly is the truth about
your fourth marriage, Miss Collins?
1157
01:01:35,770 --> 01:01:37,870
The same tragedy as the third, darling,
1158
01:01:37,970 --> 01:01:40,190
but then, with me,
everything goes in cycles.
1159
01:01:40,290 --> 01:01:42,657
Up and down, up and down!
1160
01:01:43,970 --> 01:01:46,350
Why is it so long
since you visited England, Miss Collins?
1161
01:01:46,450 --> 01:01:49,110
Oh, you know, so many dates,
so many husbands,
1162
01:01:49,210 --> 01:01:52,020
none of them English. What a pretty dress!
1163
01:01:52,410 --> 01:01:54,750
Dixie, there's some doubt
about your date of birth.
1164
01:01:54,850 --> 01:01:56,110
Would you care to clear it up?
1165
01:01:56,210 --> 01:01:59,390
Certainly, darling. I'm Scorpio.
1166
01:01:59,490 --> 01:02:00,790
And you're Patricia Lewis.
1167
01:02:00,890 --> 01:02:03,894
Simply everybody reads
your column back in America.
1168
01:02:04,810 --> 01:02:05,830
- Hello!
- Dixie,
1169
01:02:05,930 --> 01:02:08,270
whatever became of that
young flamenco singer?
1170
01:02:08,370 --> 01:02:11,790
The California oranges just didn't
agree with him, the poor darling,
1171
01:02:11,890 --> 01:02:13,830
so I re-exported him back to Spain.
1172
01:02:13,930 --> 01:02:15,630
Miss Collins.
1173
01:02:15,730 --> 01:02:18,893
Thank you. Gee, it's sure tough
to get a drink at this party.
1174
01:02:19,210 --> 01:02:22,750
- She can look after herself, that girl.
- Use has developed the muscles.
1175
01:02:22,850 --> 01:02:25,150
You got to admit it, she looks marvellous.
1176
01:02:25,250 --> 01:02:27,790
I admit it, but I can't enjoy it.
1177
01:02:27,890 --> 01:02:30,110
- Oh, no!
- Which paper are you?
1178
01:02:30,210 --> 01:02:32,611
The Financial Times.
I just had to see you, Mr Mayer.
1179
01:02:32,730 --> 01:02:34,870
I've got a great idea for Bongo.
It's haunting me.
1180
01:02:34,970 --> 01:02:36,750
All right, but not now. Come to my office.
1181
01:02:36,850 --> 01:02:38,261
But it's almost classical.
1182
01:02:38,370 --> 01:02:41,499
At the same time, it's got
a reverential attitude towards life.
1183
01:02:41,610 --> 01:02:45,934
- You're not holding my attention. Go!
- It's a sort of Ave Maria with heart!
1184
01:02:46,490 --> 01:02:50,381
- Italian numbers are out.
- In a word, Mr Mayer, religion!
1185
01:02:51,570 --> 01:02:54,301
You're a bloody nuisance,
but you're a trier.
1186
01:02:54,850 --> 01:02:58,616
All right, I'll buy religion.
So, take a drink and go.
1187
01:03:00,330 --> 01:03:01,491
There's a good one!
1188
01:03:01,610 --> 01:03:03,390
What shows are you doing here,
Miss Collins?
1189
01:03:03,490 --> 01:03:05,990
Well, I know
Gus has arranged a TV spectacular.
1190
01:03:06,090 --> 01:03:08,252
It's a beautiful show, beautiful!
1191
01:03:08,610 --> 01:03:09,870
What will the rest of the show be?
1192
01:03:09,970 --> 01:03:12,030
We hope to book
some of that wonderful talent
1193
01:03:12,130 --> 01:03:13,990
you have so much of in this country.
1194
01:03:14,090 --> 01:03:17,190
- Like who, for example?
- Like whom, for example?
1195
01:03:17,290 --> 01:03:20,590
Well, like Bongo Herbert, for example.
1196
01:03:20,690 --> 01:03:22,454
What do you think of Bongo Herbert, Dixie?
1197
01:03:22,570 --> 01:03:23,950
I'd just love another drink!
1198
01:03:24,050 --> 01:03:25,550
- To the rich in heart.
- Thank you.
1199
01:03:25,650 --> 01:03:27,190
I'll get another. And thank you.
1200
01:03:27,290 --> 01:03:29,070
You've never even heard of Bongo,
have you, Miss Collins?
1201
01:03:29,170 --> 01:03:31,030
Does anybody have an American cigarette?
1202
01:03:31,130 --> 01:03:33,670
Bongo is one of our
most promising younger stars,
1203
01:03:33,770 --> 01:03:35,110
a real Garrick find.
1204
01:03:35,210 --> 01:03:38,070
I have always done everything I could
to help young talent on.
1205
01:03:38,170 --> 01:03:39,590
- That's so true.
- Can we say that
1206
01:03:39,690 --> 01:03:41,454
Bongo will be in your show, then,
Miss Collins?
1207
01:03:41,570 --> 01:03:45,910
Any kid Gus Mayer says is promising
is gonna get a big push from me.
1208
01:03:46,110 --> 01:03:47,110
Got it?
1209
01:03:47,210 --> 01:03:49,550
Good quote.
Well, that's it, everybody. Goodbye.
1210
01:03:49,650 --> 01:03:51,750
Anybody coming to the Savoy?
1211
01:03:55,290 --> 01:03:57,830
- Going so soon?
- I'm sorry, Rosemary.
1212
01:03:57,930 --> 01:04:01,571
We've got four stars waiting for us,
including Son of Lassie.
1213
01:04:02,450 --> 01:04:04,550
Jack, darling, why not stay?
1214
01:04:04,650 --> 01:04:07,790
I promise you,
we'll give you a completely new angle.
1215
01:04:07,890 --> 01:04:10,097
Sorry, darling, she's had her moment. Bye.
1216
01:04:11,090 --> 01:04:13,616
Jack, darling! Jack!
1217
01:04:13,730 --> 01:04:15,390
So how are you, my precious?
1218
01:04:15,490 --> 01:04:17,670
Elated and exhausted, Gus.
1219
01:04:17,770 --> 01:04:19,830
We'll have one glass of champagne, alone.
1220
01:04:19,930 --> 01:04:22,740
No more for me, thanks.
I'm getting a bit burpy.
1221
01:04:22,850 --> 01:04:24,932
And sorry I had to throw you
to the wolves.
1222
01:04:25,170 --> 01:04:29,971
Any man who can pre-sell 50,000 records
for me can throw me anywhere he likes.
1223
01:04:31,130 --> 01:04:34,452
To the too-long-delayed return
of a great lady.
1224
01:04:36,170 --> 01:04:39,458
You know, Gus,
I hope this whole thing comes off.
1225
01:04:40,050 --> 01:04:41,750
I'm getting so cold over there that,
1226
01:04:41,850 --> 01:04:44,137
for the first time in my life,
I'm terrified.
1227
01:04:44,370 --> 01:04:46,270
Travel hopefully, darling.
1228
01:04:46,370 --> 01:04:48,950
I'm making a tele-recording made
of the Dixie Collins show.
1229
01:04:49,050 --> 01:04:50,734
And I'll send it straight to New York.
1230
01:04:51,090 --> 01:04:52,950
They'll go mad for it!
1231
01:04:53,050 --> 01:04:55,830
Gus! Would you like to be
my sixth husband?
1232
01:04:55,930 --> 01:04:59,855
- Do I look like Henry VIII?
- Who the hell is Pinky?
1233
01:04:59,970 --> 01:05:02,576
- Your second.
- Oh, yes, the heel.
1234
01:05:05,050 --> 01:05:08,070
All these years, she didn't care
about her darling son.
1235
01:05:08,170 --> 01:05:10,571
But now she thinks I'm making
some money, she wants the lot.
1236
01:05:10,730 --> 01:05:14,270
You ought to go and see her, Bongo.
She's probably very proud of you.
1237
01:05:14,370 --> 01:05:15,830
Well, she's too late.
1238
01:05:15,930 --> 01:05:18,501
I've always been alone,
and that's the way it's gonna stay.
1239
01:05:18,610 --> 01:05:20,100
That's the way it is in this business.
1240
01:05:20,450 --> 01:05:23,613
You kid yourself from time to time,
but really, you're always on your own.
1241
01:05:24,170 --> 01:05:26,230
But it's all right for you.
You've got Johnny.
1242
01:05:26,330 --> 01:05:28,412
Oh, sure. So have you.
1243
01:05:29,010 --> 01:05:32,059
I'm just something he sells.
Like rat poison or fish and chips.
1244
01:05:32,490 --> 01:05:35,190
It's funny, you don't like it
because he sells you,
1245
01:05:35,290 --> 01:05:38,260
and I don't like it
because he won't sell me.
1246
01:05:38,490 --> 01:05:39,950
But it's all right for you.
1247
01:05:40,050 --> 01:05:42,417
- You're sort of dedicated.
- What to? Stripping?
1248
01:05:42,730 --> 01:05:45,830
What I mean is,
to you, singing is sort of an art.
1249
01:05:45,930 --> 01:05:47,455
Perhaps that's why no one will buy it.
1250
01:05:48,050 --> 01:05:51,577
For me, it's more like a drug.
Takes my mind off quite a few things.
1251
01:05:51,770 --> 01:05:53,830
What are you doing after the show,
sweetie?
1252
01:05:53,930 --> 01:05:57,093
Meeting my boyfriend in the vice squad.
Want to come?
1253
01:06:06,970 --> 01:06:09,576
So, this is where you come
in your spare time.
1254
01:06:09,890 --> 01:06:11,910
We'll have to watch
your voice doesn't start breaking.
1255
01:06:12,010 --> 01:06:14,900
- I just fancied a few drinks.
- Big, big problems he has!
1256
01:06:15,090 --> 01:06:17,230
All I have to worry about is
finding numbers for him,
1257
01:06:17,330 --> 01:06:20,015
fixing records, booking him on TV shows.
All the rest, he can do himself!
1258
01:06:20,130 --> 01:06:21,910
Don't pick on the kid. He was lonely.
1259
01:06:22,010 --> 01:06:23,950
So, little white mother Maisie
is comforting him.
1260
01:06:24,050 --> 01:06:26,990
Why not? Do you have
an exclusive contract on my spare time?
1261
01:06:27,090 --> 01:06:30,333
- Look, I just fancied a few drinks.
- So, now you've had them. Now, get out!
1262
01:06:30,450 --> 01:06:31,670
I told you not to push him around.
1263
01:06:31,770 --> 01:06:33,310
I'll bear in mind what you say.
Blow, Bongo!
1264
01:06:33,410 --> 01:06:35,670
- He's my guest.
- Drop it, Maisie. I'm going.
1265
01:06:35,770 --> 01:06:37,260
- Now, look.
- You look!
1266
01:06:37,490 --> 01:06:39,230
I've got 50% of what he's got.
1267
01:06:39,330 --> 01:06:40,790
He hasn't got 50% of what I've got.
1268
01:06:40,890 --> 01:06:43,670
If that remark is supposed to refer
to me, you can take it right back!
1269
01:06:43,770 --> 01:06:45,010
You're a big help, you are!
1270
01:06:45,650 --> 01:06:47,550
I need the kid for work,
and you're busy getting him drunk.
1271
01:06:47,650 --> 01:06:49,254
What are you, a sadist or something?
1272
01:06:49,810 --> 01:06:52,030
Most of the time I'm with you,
I wish I was!
1273
01:06:52,130 --> 01:06:53,790
Oh, now, look, Maisie doll,
1274
01:06:53,890 --> 01:06:55,950
I've been working very hard,
I'm under a lot of tension!
1275
01:06:56,050 --> 01:06:58,559
Well, stay under and drown!
1276
01:07:01,050 --> 01:07:04,452
Ah, what the hell.
For art, one has to make sacrifices.
1277
01:07:31,398 --> 01:07:32,972
Hell!
1278
01:07:33,330 --> 01:07:34,456
If it's you, I'm asleep!
1279
01:07:34,970 --> 01:07:36,893
You want to be careful
whom you say you're not in to.
1280
01:07:37,290 --> 01:07:40,453
I am being careful.
That's why I'm telling you I'm not in.
1281
01:07:40,570 --> 01:07:41,776
What was it you required?
1282
01:07:42,650 --> 01:07:45,221
Just because we have a little scene
every so often,
1283
01:07:45,770 --> 01:07:48,341
I mean, you don't have to hibernate.
1284
01:07:49,650 --> 01:07:53,018
- Oh, come over here, baby.
- No!
1285
01:07:54,690 --> 01:07:57,978
I'm having a nice quiet read,
and it's very relaxing.
1286
01:07:58,490 --> 01:08:00,492
If you were a gentleman,
you'd come over here.
1287
01:08:01,170 --> 01:08:04,060
But you can...
Well, you can read here, baby.
1288
01:08:04,490 --> 01:08:07,334
Come on, you can relax here.
1289
01:08:07,730 --> 01:08:09,590
Why can't you come over here, anyway?
1290
01:08:09,690 --> 01:08:11,215
Well, I'd love to, baby. Really, I would.
1291
01:08:11,410 --> 01:08:14,310
But, well, I've got a lot of very
important calls coming through.
1292
01:08:14,410 --> 01:08:16,070
I'm expecting Hollywood
on the line any minute now.
1293
01:08:16,170 --> 01:08:17,740
You know, it's mid-morning over there.
1294
01:08:17,890 --> 01:08:19,910
Thanks for the geography lesson,
and good night!
1295
01:08:20,010 --> 01:08:24,254
Oh! Maisie, but I've got so many
important things to discuss with you.
1296
01:08:24,570 --> 01:08:27,030
Something... Well, something
that really means our whole future.
1297
01:08:27,130 --> 01:08:28,150
Our whole future?
1298
01:08:28,250 --> 01:08:32,310
Yes, that's right, baby. Oh, come over.
There's so much I want to tell you.
1299
01:08:32,410 --> 01:08:35,390
Well, maybe I will. Maybe I will.
Of course, I have to dress first.
1300
01:08:35,490 --> 01:08:36,990
Oh! That's great, baby! That's great.
1301
01:08:37,090 --> 01:08:39,350
Look, I'll go and make us some coffee,
you come right over.
1302
01:08:39,450 --> 01:08:41,870
You know, I've got
so many business problems.
1303
01:08:41,970 --> 01:08:43,910
What have you and me
got to do with business problems?
1304
01:08:44,010 --> 01:08:46,110
Well, isn't it of some interest to you
that I succeed?
1305
01:08:46,210 --> 01:08:47,496
You know, if Bongo doesn't get that...
1306
01:08:47,610 --> 01:08:49,550
So, it's Bongo! You don't want me,
1307
01:08:49,650 --> 01:08:51,990
you just want someone to talk to
about that bloody Bongo!
1308
01:08:52,090 --> 01:08:54,790
- Who else have I go to talk to?
- I'm not in a talking mood.
1309
01:08:54,890 --> 01:08:56,494
I'm sorry I insulted your ignorance
1310
01:08:56,610 --> 01:08:58,110
by even suggesting
that I could talk to you!
1311
01:08:58,210 --> 01:08:59,496
You only got up in the middle of the night
1312
01:08:59,610 --> 01:09:00,710
because you want a little rabbit!
1313
01:09:00,810 --> 01:09:02,790
You want to chat it up with someone!
1314
01:09:02,890 --> 01:09:05,496
- It's an insult! You're kinky!
- Who's kinky?
1315
01:09:05,610 --> 01:09:07,070
- You're bent!
- Who's bent?
1316
01:09:07,170 --> 01:09:08,990
- Don't you shout at me!
- Who's shouting?
1317
01:09:09,090 --> 01:09:11,058
- Good night!
- Good night!
1318
01:09:27,610 --> 01:09:29,021
Thank you. Thank you.
1319
01:09:29,250 --> 01:09:33,050
And now, straight from New York,
Hollywood and Las Vegas,
1320
01:09:33,450 --> 01:09:36,990
we are very happy to be able to afford
the fantabulous,
1321
01:09:37,090 --> 01:09:39,570
fantastico Dixie Collins!
1322
01:10:09,690 --> 01:10:12,660
Well, this is it, golden boy! Hey, hey.
1323
01:10:12,770 --> 01:10:14,990
Smoking when that
velvet voice is about to perform?
1324
01:10:15,090 --> 01:10:17,491
She's around here somewhere,
I just know she's around here somewhere.
1325
01:10:17,730 --> 01:10:20,859
Don't tell me my little virgin's found
himself a piece of frontline frippet?
1326
01:10:21,090 --> 01:10:23,630
It's my mother I'm talking about.
She's around here somewhere.
1327
01:10:23,730 --> 01:10:26,630
So, where else should a boy's mother be
but at his side at a time like this?
1328
01:10:26,730 --> 01:10:29,110
Edna phoned me she's on the warpath.
She's got the needle to me.
1329
01:10:29,210 --> 01:10:30,390
And she wants half my money.
1330
01:10:30,490 --> 01:10:32,990
I'd give her half of mine
if I thought it would make her happy.
1331
01:10:33,090 --> 01:10:34,455
- You would?
- Look,
1332
01:10:34,650 --> 01:10:36,830
it isn't as simple as all that.
Now, listen to me, kid.
1333
01:10:36,930 --> 01:10:39,550
She won't come around here.
You have my personal guarantee.
1334
01:10:39,650 --> 01:10:42,110
- Fix her for me, Johnny.
- Sure, I'll fix her for you!
1335
01:10:42,210 --> 01:10:45,657
I'm your manager, aren't I?
Your friend, your chum, your protector.
1336
01:10:45,810 --> 01:10:47,733
Now, go out there and kill 'em!
1337
01:10:47,930 --> 01:10:50,390
Tonight, eight million
telly-hugging imbeciles
1338
01:10:50,490 --> 01:10:53,221
are going to
fall in love with you simultaneously!
1339
01:10:54,130 --> 01:10:57,190
Thank you! Thank you, all!
1340
01:10:57,290 --> 01:11:00,658
You, too, up there! It's wonderful
to know you still love me!
1341
01:11:00,930 --> 01:11:05,094
Now, here's a new singer making
his very first variety appearance.
1342
01:11:05,290 --> 01:11:08,590
Your own Bongo Herbert!
1343
01:11:13,890 --> 01:11:15,051
Thank you, thank you very much.
1344
01:11:17,810 --> 01:11:20,211
Thank you very much,
thank you very much indeed.
1345
01:11:20,690 --> 01:11:23,773
It's not generally known
that I'm a deeply religious boy,
1346
01:11:23,930 --> 01:11:27,377
And here in this theatre tonight,
we're glad it's Sunday, because,
1347
01:11:27,650 --> 01:11:30,790
well, we've had a number
specially written for this show
1348
01:11:30,890 --> 01:11:32,870
We'd like to dedicate it to...
1349
01:11:32,970 --> 01:11:36,053
To a lady who taught us that
there's someone bigger than you or I,
1350
01:11:36,450 --> 01:11:37,690
my mother.
1351
01:11:38,770 --> 01:11:42,390
For my mother I'd like to sing for you
my latest recording,
1352
01:11:42,490 --> 01:11:45,016
The Shrine on the Second Floor.
Take it, Bert.
1353
01:11:50,330 --> 01:11:55,370
♪ I was born in the heart of a city
1354
01:11:56,170 --> 01:12:01,301
♪ In a room that I'll always adore
1355
01:12:02,010 --> 01:12:04,854
♪ Though it's not much to see
1356
01:12:05,010 --> 01:12:07,775
♪ It's like heaven to me
1357
01:12:08,490 --> 01:12:13,132
♪ The shrine on the second floor
1358
01:12:13,650 --> 01:12:18,497
♪ There's a beautiful grey-haired Madonna
1359
01:12:19,450 --> 01:12:24,854
♪ Who once taught me
what life had in store
1360
01:12:25,330 --> 01:12:31,312
♪ And I lift up my eyes
to that saint in disguise
1361
01:12:31,670 --> 01:12:36,110
♪ In the shrine on the second floor
1362
01:12:38,050 --> 01:12:43,056
♪ Whenever my troubles
seem too much to bear
1363
01:12:43,850 --> 01:12:48,571
♪ I look for the answer, and then
1364
01:12:49,810 --> 01:12:55,852
♪ I kneel down and see
that light shining there
1365
01:12:56,170 --> 01:13:00,141
♪ And everything turns out right again
1366
01:13:02,050 --> 01:13:07,295
♪ When I'm old and I find that I'm lonely
1367
01:13:07,850 --> 01:13:12,299
♪ I'll return to my heaven once more
1368
01:13:13,930 --> 01:13:21,018
♪ I'll remember the face
of a lady of grace
1369
01:13:21,730 --> 01:13:27,419
♪ On the shrine on the second floor
1370
01:13:28,450 --> 01:13:33,695
♪ When I'm old and I find that I'm lonely
1371
01:13:34,650 --> 01:13:38,939
♪ I'll return to my heaven once more
1372
01:13:40,850 --> 01:13:44,310
♪ I'll remember the face
1373
01:13:44,410 --> 01:13:49,018
♪ Of a lady of grace
1374
01:13:49,490 --> 01:13:51,190
♪ On the shrine
1375
01:13:51,290 --> 01:13:57,491
♪ On the second floor ♪
1376
01:14:10,410 --> 01:14:12,412
- That was lovely, wasn't it?
- Mmm?
1377
01:14:18,330 --> 01:14:22,790
You've sold another 50,000 records
tonight, my darling Dixie. 50,000!
1378
01:14:22,890 --> 01:14:24,750
Gus, if that doesn't get me
a New York series,
1379
01:14:24,850 --> 01:14:27,780
I'll just have to marry a prince! Yes?
1380
01:14:27,890 --> 01:14:31,258
- Only me. Can I bring my daughter in?
- Of course. Gus, fix some drinks.
1381
01:14:31,410 --> 01:14:33,870
- Yes.
- Oh, Ms Collins, it was simply splendid.
1382
01:14:33,970 --> 01:14:37,452
All my chums were there. Goodness,
we couldn't have adored it more.
1383
01:14:37,570 --> 01:14:38,710
- Oh, thank you.
- I told you
1384
01:14:38,810 --> 01:14:41,230
everyone will be utterly
delighted to have you back.
1385
01:14:41,330 --> 01:14:43,458
Rosemary, I'm delighted
to have me back, too.
1386
01:14:43,570 --> 01:14:46,494
Mumsy, I do wish
you'd let me go on the stage.
1387
01:14:46,610 --> 01:14:48,790
I will, darling, if you ever get an offer.
1388
01:14:48,890 --> 01:14:50,910
So far you've not had
an offer of any sort.
1389
01:14:51,010 --> 01:14:54,571
Mumsy, that's quite unfair.
It's only my third season.
1390
01:14:54,890 --> 01:14:56,590
Cynthia, you have lipstick on your teeth.
1391
01:14:56,690 --> 01:14:59,110
It was absolutely topping, Miss Collins.
1392
01:14:59,210 --> 01:15:03,260
- Word of an officer and a gentleman.
- Oh, rather. Oh, goodness!
1393
01:15:04,410 --> 01:15:07,630
You did very well, my little robin!
It was a most moving experience!
1394
01:15:07,730 --> 01:15:09,310
I got a message from Miss Collins herself.
1395
01:15:09,410 --> 01:15:11,219
She's invited me 'round
to her dressing room for a drink.
1396
01:15:11,330 --> 01:15:14,110
This is better than I thought.
If she takes a fancy to you,
1397
01:15:14,210 --> 01:15:16,451
I may be able to book you onto
any other shows she's doing.
1398
01:15:16,850 --> 01:15:19,230
You've got to get into the habit
of cultivating the right people,
1399
01:15:19,330 --> 01:15:21,630
because every right person, you know,
makes you a little more right.
1400
01:15:21,730 --> 01:15:23,350
Ah, Harry, just the man
we're looking for. Look.
1401
01:15:23,450 --> 01:15:25,150
I want you to take a picture
of the boy with Miss Collins.
1402
01:15:25,250 --> 01:15:27,230
- They won't let us in.
- What do you mean they won't let you in?
1403
01:15:27,330 --> 01:15:28,550
You've got to be with the right people.
1404
01:15:28,650 --> 01:15:30,095
Now, you wait there.
1405
01:15:31,210 --> 01:15:33,110
- Now, may we...
- No press in here, I'm afraid.
1406
01:15:33,210 --> 01:15:35,070
- But...
- Not even the Financial Times.
1407
01:15:35,170 --> 01:15:38,270
Can't you recognise fellow artistes?
This is Bongo Herbert.
1408
01:15:38,370 --> 01:15:40,870
Oh, I invited Mr Herbert
to come around for a drink.
1409
01:15:40,970 --> 01:15:44,372
Well, in that case, do come in,
Mr Herbert. With your father.
1410
01:15:44,490 --> 01:15:49,052
Oh, isn't he sweet?
Isn't he pure, pure heaven?
1411
01:15:49,170 --> 01:15:51,990
Miss Collins, I want to tell you
what a wonderful experience it was
1412
01:15:52,090 --> 01:15:55,173
to witness the triumphant return
of one of the greatest.
1413
01:15:55,410 --> 01:15:57,350
I'm sure you've always prayed for me.
1414
01:15:57,450 --> 01:16:00,070
The face is familiar,
but I can't place the flattery.
1415
01:16:00,170 --> 01:16:02,070
- Johnny Jackson.
- Manager and friend...
1416
01:16:02,170 --> 01:16:03,310
I didn't know the two went together.
1417
01:16:03,410 --> 01:16:06,175
...to the star of the future,
Bongo Herbert.
1418
01:16:06,290 --> 01:16:10,136
Well, stars of present and future,
I must love you and leave you all.
1419
01:16:10,650 --> 01:16:12,590
Late nights are hell
for a man with a stomach condition.
1420
01:16:12,690 --> 01:16:13,750
Good night.
1421
01:16:13,850 --> 01:16:15,659
- Sleep well, darling.
- I'll let you know.
1422
01:16:15,770 --> 01:16:18,819
Shrine is a masterpiece.
Come to my office tomorrow.
1423
01:16:18,930 --> 01:16:20,170
Pleasure.
1424
01:16:20,330 --> 01:16:22,492
I asked you around for drinks, Bongo,
to tell you,
1425
01:16:22,610 --> 01:16:25,790
I think you've got an awful lot
to offer, and I hope I can help you.
1426
01:16:25,890 --> 01:16:28,257
Oh, goodness, Bongo, do say something.
1427
01:16:28,570 --> 01:16:30,857
Yes, speak to Cynthia.
She's your generation.
1428
01:16:31,010 --> 01:16:33,695
Something in Cockney.
Apples and pears and things.
1429
01:16:34,570 --> 01:16:36,334
I thought you was marvellous,
Miss Collins.
1430
01:16:36,490 --> 01:16:38,970
- Ah.
- Now, isn't that nice?
1431
01:16:39,210 --> 01:16:41,110
It was nice of you to come 'round.
1432
01:16:41,210 --> 01:16:44,054
So sorry to have to rush you,
but Miss Collins has to get dressed.
1433
01:16:44,210 --> 01:16:47,134
I've always thought you was marvellous,
Miss Collins, ever since I was a kid.
1434
01:16:47,970 --> 01:16:50,990
- Funnily enough, so have I.
- I happen to have a photographer.
1435
01:16:51,090 --> 01:16:53,990
No more photographs. We've had all the...
1436
01:16:54,090 --> 01:16:56,411
Just one for the kid's album.
Please, Miss Collins.
1437
01:16:57,290 --> 01:16:59,310
I can't think of a cuter album to be in.
1438
01:16:59,410 --> 01:17:01,030
Go on, get your masterpiece.
It may be royalty next.
1439
01:17:01,130 --> 01:17:02,590
Flash them pearlies, Bongo.
1440
01:17:02,690 --> 01:17:05,150
That's enough. Just one for the album.
1441
01:17:05,250 --> 01:17:07,350
Miss Collins, you have just brought
1442
01:17:07,450 --> 01:17:10,340
a moment of happiness
into the life of a deprived child.
1443
01:17:10,610 --> 01:17:11,950
From now on, I'm personally going to see
1444
01:17:12,050 --> 01:17:15,452
that he's available for any show
of yours at any time.
1445
01:17:15,610 --> 01:17:18,932
Bless you. Home to beddy-byes, Bongo baby.
1446
01:17:19,050 --> 01:17:22,150
- Good night.
- Good night, doll.
1447
01:17:22,810 --> 01:17:24,270
You really think
I did all right tonight, Guv?
1448
01:17:24,370 --> 01:17:26,950
You have done well tonight, drummer boy.
So have I.
1449
01:17:27,050 --> 01:17:28,590
All you need to succeed in this business
1450
01:17:28,690 --> 01:17:30,613
is one success after another.
1451
01:17:31,210 --> 01:17:32,870
Now, remember, on this battlefield,
1452
01:17:32,970 --> 01:17:35,974
the only mercy shown to losers
is to finish 'em off. But not to worry.
1453
01:17:36,090 --> 01:17:39,030
- Home, Bongo. See you in the morning.
- But I don't want to go home.
1454
01:17:39,130 --> 01:17:41,451
Well, what's the matter, kid?
Aren't you comfortable in Beast's flat?
1455
01:17:41,570 --> 01:17:43,870
Well, look now, don't let those
girls of his get you down.
1456
01:17:43,970 --> 01:17:46,860
Here's a bonus. Stop off
and buy yourself a sandwich.
1457
01:17:46,970 --> 01:17:48,256
Taxi!
1458
01:17:51,610 --> 01:17:54,230
This is better than
beating your brains out at Leon's.
1459
01:17:54,330 --> 01:17:56,219
The Caprice. And don't eat too much!
1460
01:18:01,450 --> 01:18:04,070
- Oh, sorry, miss.
- It's okay, I'm just leaving.
1461
01:18:04,170 --> 01:18:06,218
- Would you like the flowers?
- Ohh...
1462
01:18:06,450 --> 01:18:07,497
They're yours.
1463
01:18:07,610 --> 01:18:09,738
It's lovely having you back again,
Miss Collins.
1464
01:18:09,970 --> 01:18:12,830
I remember when you done
your first show here.
1465
01:18:12,930 --> 01:18:15,000
So do I.
1466
01:18:17,010 --> 01:18:20,253
- What's the stage doorman called?
- Arthur.
1467
01:18:20,650 --> 01:18:22,140
That's right, Arthur.
1468
01:18:26,450 --> 01:18:29,340
- Good night, Arthur.
- You remembered my name.
1469
01:18:29,890 --> 01:18:31,813
But of course. Good night.
1470
01:18:33,330 --> 01:18:34,990
Could I have your autograph,
Miss Collins, please?
1471
01:18:35,090 --> 01:18:36,376
Of course, thank you.
1472
01:18:36,570 --> 01:18:37,830
- Like the show?
- Loved it.
1473
01:18:37,930 --> 01:18:39,670
- Good. You, too?
- You gave a divine performance.
1474
01:18:39,770 --> 01:18:41,830
- Could you sign 'To Harry', please?
- Yes, I'll do that.
1475
01:18:41,930 --> 01:18:43,261
- Thank you.
- Bye-bye.
1476
01:18:43,370 --> 01:18:45,870
- Oh, Miss Collins.
- Well, hello.
1477
01:18:45,970 --> 01:18:47,190
The photographers have all gone.
1478
01:18:47,290 --> 01:18:49,750
Oh, I hate 'em.
They try make you look a proper Charlie.
1479
01:18:49,850 --> 01:18:51,710
You look more of a Charlie
when they leave you alone!
1480
01:18:51,810 --> 01:18:52,870
Well, good night again.
1481
01:18:52,970 --> 01:18:55,750
Uh, Miss Collins, you...
You asked me for a drink.
1482
01:18:55,850 --> 01:18:58,350
So I did. Well, you better
come and have one then.
1483
01:18:58,450 --> 01:19:00,100
What I have I got to lose? My virtue?
1484
01:19:31,690 --> 01:19:35,012
- Relax, let yourself go.
- Cor, what a place!
1485
01:19:35,610 --> 01:19:39,030
- Mix me a champagne cocktail, darling.
- Yes, of course, but I've never...
1486
01:19:39,130 --> 01:19:41,292
Oh, what am I saying? I'll mix it.
1487
01:19:44,010 --> 01:19:45,590
Maybe you'd like to wash your hands
or something.
1488
01:19:45,690 --> 01:19:49,297
Oh, no, thanks. I washed my hands
in the dressing room, before the show.
1489
01:19:49,850 --> 01:19:51,978
- I know what that is.
- Good. Then, open it.
1490
01:19:52,370 --> 01:19:54,452
I bet your manager gives you
lots of that to drink.
1491
01:19:54,570 --> 01:19:56,493
Johnny's not too bad
when you get to know him.
1492
01:19:56,730 --> 01:19:58,971
He gave me a quid tonight
to buy coffee and sandwiches.
1493
01:19:59,450 --> 01:20:01,590
I'd like to see his face now,
if he could see me.
1494
01:20:01,690 --> 01:20:03,030
Gave you a quid?
1495
01:20:03,130 --> 01:20:06,270
Oh, yes, he's all right with money.
He gives me wages every week.
1496
01:20:06,370 --> 01:20:09,135
And even then, he's always
slipping me half a bob for this or that.
1497
01:20:09,450 --> 01:20:11,150
Is he your manager or your owner?
1498
01:20:11,250 --> 01:20:14,094
He's my manager.
I owe everything I am to him.
1499
01:20:14,330 --> 01:20:15,661
All the best, then.
1500
01:20:17,850 --> 01:20:19,950
I can see you're
used to champagne cocktails.
1501
01:20:20,050 --> 01:20:21,310
Nice drink, innit?
1502
01:20:21,410 --> 01:20:25,460
- Very nice. Help yourself to another.
- Thanks. Don't mind if I do.
1503
01:20:26,290 --> 01:20:28,590
You mean this manager of yours
pays you a salary?
1504
01:20:28,690 --> 01:20:30,340
What do you mean? Wages, like?
1505
01:20:30,450 --> 01:20:32,230
What do you do here?
Drop of this, drop of that?
1506
01:20:32,330 --> 01:20:34,731
That's it. Not too much of that.
1507
01:20:35,330 --> 01:20:37,617
Well, it's not like wages exactly.
1508
01:20:37,770 --> 01:20:40,137
Not like I used to get
when I was working the Fun Fair.
1509
01:20:40,810 --> 01:20:42,230
We go halves, see.
1510
01:20:42,330 --> 01:20:44,776
Everything what I earn,
we share and share alike.
1511
01:20:44,930 --> 01:20:46,819
Very nice of Johnny, really.
1512
01:20:47,690 --> 01:20:49,454
- Cheerio, then.
- Cheerio.
1513
01:20:49,930 --> 01:20:53,670
You've made a couple of records, too,
I understand?
1514
01:20:53,830 --> 01:20:56,217
Goes up your nose
if you drink it too fast!
1515
01:20:56,810 --> 01:20:59,177
Yes, The Shrine on the Second Floor
number's my second.
1516
01:20:59,450 --> 01:21:00,611
How do you think it'll go?
1517
01:21:00,930 --> 01:21:04,571
I understand there's a market, although
personally, mothers leave me cold.
1518
01:21:04,850 --> 01:21:08,491
They do? Me, too. I hate mothers.
1519
01:21:09,050 --> 01:21:10,630
Do you know, when I was a kid in the war,
1520
01:21:10,730 --> 01:21:13,301
my mother used to leave me
to play on the bombsite all day,
1521
01:21:13,650 --> 01:21:15,300
while she went out and worked
in a munitions factory.
1522
01:21:15,730 --> 01:21:18,190
I suppose we all had to do our bit.
1523
01:21:18,290 --> 01:21:20,770
I know I did. Often.
1524
01:21:21,650 --> 01:21:23,150
I think I'll have another one of these.
1525
01:21:23,250 --> 01:21:25,378
Take it easy, now. Have you eaten tonight?
1526
01:21:25,730 --> 01:21:29,257
No, I haven't eaten all day.
Too sort of nervous.
1527
01:21:30,250 --> 01:21:32,550
I bet you never get nervous, Dixie.
1528
01:21:32,650 --> 01:21:35,221
I bet nothing in the whole world
ever makes you nervous.
1529
01:21:36,730 --> 01:21:40,030
You know, you wouldn't
think so to look at me,
1530
01:21:40,130 --> 01:21:41,859
but I'm really a very nervous type.
1531
01:21:42,250 --> 01:21:45,310
- Ohh!
- Oopsy you, I think maybe you are.
1532
01:21:45,410 --> 01:21:46,855
Sit down.
1533
01:21:55,450 --> 01:21:58,101
I never, ever thought
I'd ever have a drink with you, Dixie.
1534
01:21:59,610 --> 01:22:03,581
If anybody had said I would,
I'd have said, 'Never.'
1535
01:22:04,410 --> 01:22:08,390
You're looking a little pale. I think
perhaps I ought to send you home.
1536
01:22:08,490 --> 01:22:11,061
I'm never going home, never, not ever.
1537
01:22:12,090 --> 01:22:15,299
- I've got a headache.
- I'll get you a hangover pill.
1538
01:22:15,410 --> 01:22:18,710
Don't worry, I'll get it.
Is it in there? I can look after myself.
1539
01:22:18,810 --> 01:22:19,891
Don't you worry.
1540
01:22:20,090 --> 01:22:22,013
- Look after myself, he says.
- Cor!
1541
01:22:23,370 --> 01:22:24,870
- It's really lovely.
- Oh, dear.
1542
01:22:24,970 --> 01:22:26,710
It really is very, very lovely.
1543
01:22:26,810 --> 01:22:29,416
I shouldn't have let you
take those drinks so fast.
1544
01:22:29,610 --> 01:22:32,932
How was I to know
your manager starves you? Here.
1545
01:22:34,290 --> 01:22:35,950
You've been a perfect lady to me, Dixie.
1546
01:22:36,050 --> 01:22:37,575
Does that feel better?
1547
01:22:37,690 --> 01:22:39,830
It's the loveliest feeling
I ever had in my life.
1548
01:22:39,930 --> 01:22:40,990
Good.
1549
01:22:41,090 --> 01:22:45,175
This is so comfy, so very, very comfy.
1550
01:23:07,810 --> 01:23:09,221
Oh, dear.
1551
01:23:17,730 --> 01:23:20,052
Are you awake, darling?
1552
01:23:21,210 --> 01:23:22,780
Come in, darling.
1553
01:23:23,370 --> 01:23:24,781
Only me.
1554
01:23:25,850 --> 01:23:28,899
- I hope you had a good sleep.
- Wonderful!
1555
01:23:29,010 --> 01:23:31,830
Such a success, darling.
They're all raving about...
1556
01:23:31,930 --> 01:23:33,091
Really? Let me see.
1557
01:23:33,210 --> 01:23:35,258
It's a wonderful press.
1558
01:23:35,890 --> 01:23:38,336
All the pictures of you
have come out so well.
1559
01:23:39,610 --> 01:23:41,692
Here's another one, darling.
1560
01:23:42,930 --> 01:23:45,750
You've done a great job, Rosemary.
I want you to know that.
1561
01:23:45,850 --> 01:23:47,350
You can hardly blame me, darling.
1562
01:23:47,450 --> 01:23:49,498
If you insist on asking a snotty-nosed
1563
01:23:49,610 --> 01:23:51,294
little teddy boy 'round
to your dressing room.
1564
01:23:51,850 --> 01:23:54,710
Rosemary, darling, take it very easy.
1565
01:23:54,810 --> 01:23:57,814
Because you're in terrible danger
of losing your livelihood.
1566
01:23:59,570 --> 01:24:02,150
Good morning! May I come in?
1567
01:24:02,250 --> 01:24:04,390
- I'd advise you not to.
- Good morning, Gus.
1568
01:24:04,490 --> 01:24:07,790
I salute you, my darling.
What sensational reviews!
1569
01:24:07,890 --> 01:24:09,590
I've done my best. For weeks now,
1570
01:24:09,690 --> 01:24:11,710
I've practically been sleeping
with the gentlemen of the press.
1571
01:24:11,810 --> 01:24:12,990
Don't be modest, darling.
1572
01:24:13,090 --> 01:24:15,070
Do I detect a certain amount of tension?
1573
01:24:15,170 --> 01:24:18,870
Dixie's a little concerned
about the space given to Bongo Herbert.
1574
01:24:19,671 --> 01:24:23,230
Both Garrick stars!
Both with records out this week!
1575
01:24:23,330 --> 01:24:24,695
It's marvellous.
1576
01:24:25,290 --> 01:24:28,030
That's what I always say,
go straight to the horse's mouth
1577
01:24:28,130 --> 01:24:30,850
and you get a load of horse blossoms.
1578
01:24:30,950 --> 01:24:32,270
Take it away.
1579
01:24:32,370 --> 01:24:34,293
- Let's be big about this.
- Why?
1580
01:24:34,410 --> 01:24:37,892
- Associated Press.
- I'll take it. Give it to me!
1581
01:24:38,690 --> 01:24:40,977
Yes, this is Dixie Collins.
1582
01:24:41,570 --> 01:24:44,096
Well, I'm a little overwhelmed, of course.
1583
01:24:44,690 --> 01:24:47,500
Oh, I was delighted with Bongo's success.
1584
01:24:47,610 --> 01:24:52,172
He's such a sweet, talented kid.
I'm sure he'll go far. Mmm.
1585
01:24:52,690 --> 01:24:56,137
In fact, I'm giving him a little party
to celebrate his success.
1586
01:24:56,690 --> 01:24:58,990
That's right. Bye.
1587
01:24:59,090 --> 01:25:00,870
- A party?
- Oh, what the hell, why not?
1588
01:25:00,970 --> 01:25:02,301
He's really a very cute boy.
1589
01:25:02,410 --> 01:25:05,150
Let the breakfast in, Rosemary.
You're hired again.
1590
01:25:05,250 --> 01:25:07,710
That's what I call
taking it like a real pro.
1591
01:25:07,810 --> 01:25:10,893
Tell me, Gus, is the kid really
that naive or is it an act?
1592
01:25:11,010 --> 01:25:14,810
Six months of such naiveté
and he'll be earning 1,000 a week!
1593
01:25:14,930 --> 01:25:17,870
That'll be a neat 500
for that enterprising manager of his.
1594
01:25:17,970 --> 01:25:19,017
How so?
1595
01:25:19,130 --> 01:25:21,310
He's owns 50% of Bongo.
1596
01:25:21,410 --> 01:25:23,697
Fifty? This is monstrous!
1597
01:25:24,130 --> 01:25:26,870
- 50%?
- Have some coffee, Gus.
1598
01:25:26,970 --> 01:25:31,100
No, thanks, I'm too upset.
I'll see you later, beautiful. 50%!
1599
01:25:31,730 --> 01:25:33,830
I'm upset that you're upset, Mr Mayer,
1600
01:25:33,930 --> 01:25:36,501
but I have a completely legal
and binding contract with Bongo.
1601
01:25:36,610 --> 01:25:37,830
And so far, he's not complained.
1602
01:25:37,930 --> 01:25:39,898
I'm not questioning the legality
of your contract.
1603
01:25:40,010 --> 01:25:42,270
I'm simply suggesting that
you are being a little unfair.
1604
01:25:42,370 --> 01:25:43,735
So, poor little Bongo!
1605
01:25:44,010 --> 01:25:46,710
Instead of making a fortune every month,
he only makes half a fortune.
1606
01:25:46,810 --> 01:25:50,132
I'm not talking about Bongo!
It's me you are being unfair to!
1607
01:25:50,330 --> 01:25:52,901
Why should you own half
of such a property?
1608
01:25:55,130 --> 01:25:59,590
Are you suggesting perhaps
that, um, you should have an interest?
1609
01:25:59,690 --> 01:26:02,290
It could be to our mutual benefit.
1610
01:26:02,390 --> 01:26:03,870
I feel the need to contemplate.
1611
01:26:03,970 --> 01:26:06,630
If you don't mind,
not while I am talking business!
1612
01:26:06,730 --> 01:26:09,110
You may be talking business, Mr Mayer,
but I'm not!
1613
01:26:09,210 --> 01:26:10,710
I've been beating a bare living
out of this business
1614
01:26:10,810 --> 01:26:12,938
for too many years to be
of a generous nature!
1615
01:26:13,090 --> 01:26:16,572
Look, Johnny,
to me, money isn't everything.
1616
01:26:17,010 --> 01:26:18,899
How could it be,
with one foot in the classics?
1617
01:26:19,810 --> 01:26:21,950
You put me onto a good artist.
1618
01:26:22,050 --> 01:26:25,179
And in return, I'm not going to be
too small about it.
1619
01:26:26,090 --> 01:26:29,050
Just how small are you not
going to be, Mr Mayer?
1620
01:26:29,150 --> 01:26:33,590
I'm arranging a show for the halls
up north, featuring our recording stars.
1621
01:26:33,690 --> 01:26:36,150
I want Bongo to top the bill.
1622
01:26:36,250 --> 01:26:39,618
- How much?
- 400 a week on a 12-week tour.
1623
01:26:39,730 --> 01:26:43,701
Furthermore, I'm going to give you
a back royalty on both records.
1624
01:26:44,730 --> 01:26:47,301
So, charity begins
in the Charing Cross Road after all!
1625
01:26:47,570 --> 01:26:50,221
But there is a slight case of condition.
1626
01:26:50,410 --> 01:26:52,174
How stupid of me. Naturally.
There would be.
1627
01:26:52,570 --> 01:26:54,334
Don't bite the hand that feeds you.
1628
01:26:54,610 --> 01:26:56,055
With my delicate stomach?
1629
01:26:56,650 --> 01:26:58,150
From here to eternity,
1630
01:26:58,250 --> 01:27:01,015
Bongo will be on exclusive contract
to record for Garrick.
1631
01:27:01,130 --> 01:27:04,110
- In return, we feature him nationwide.
- I get it.
1632
01:27:04,210 --> 01:27:06,212
This way you both get it. Fair?
1633
01:27:07,370 --> 01:27:10,453
As things go, Mr Mayer, very fair.
1634
01:27:10,570 --> 01:27:13,255
It's like I always say, my boy,
in this business
1635
01:27:14,210 --> 01:27:16,310
even us, in this world,
nothing is for nothing.
1636
01:27:16,410 --> 01:27:18,710
This I already noticed, Mr Mayer.
1637
01:27:18,810 --> 01:27:20,460
♪ Everything's for everyone
1638
01:27:21,050 --> 01:27:23,212
♪ On the other side
1639
01:27:23,330 --> 01:27:25,310
♪ There'll be free ambrosia
1640
01:27:25,410 --> 01:27:27,710
♪ Beyond the great divide
1641
01:27:27,810 --> 01:27:30,150
♪ Everything's for everyone
1642
01:27:30,250 --> 01:27:32,550
♪ Where the living's high
1643
01:27:32,650 --> 01:27:34,778
♪ There's a little snag, Jack
1644
01:27:35,090 --> 01:27:37,457
♪ First, you've got to die
1645
01:27:42,010 --> 01:27:44,190
♪ Nothing is for nothing
1646
01:27:44,290 --> 01:27:46,452
♪ That's the human plan
1647
01:27:46,570 --> 01:27:48,857
♪ Line up for the rat race
1648
01:27:49,010 --> 01:27:51,310
♪ Man must live on man
1649
01:27:51,410 --> 01:27:53,731
♪ Nothing is for nothing
1650
01:27:53,850 --> 01:27:55,852
♪ Nothing is for free
1651
01:27:56,170 --> 01:27:58,821
♪ I'll look after you, Jack
1652
01:27:59,130 --> 01:28:02,259
♪ You look after me ♪
1653
01:28:05,650 --> 01:28:06,936
Now?
1654
01:28:07,850 --> 01:28:09,056
Right.
1655
01:28:09,170 --> 01:28:12,590
That's it, boys, you've taken enough
for a souvenir programme.
1656
01:28:12,690 --> 01:28:14,590
- Bye-bye boys, thank you.
- Off you go.
1657
01:28:14,690 --> 01:28:17,011
Been wonderful having you, darling.
Good night.
1658
01:28:17,570 --> 01:28:18,910
Successful, I should say.
1659
01:28:19,010 --> 01:28:22,070
Rosemary, you're fantastico,
just fantastico!
1660
01:28:22,170 --> 01:28:24,830
- Super!
- Absolutely topping, Miss Collins.
1661
01:28:24,930 --> 01:28:28,710
- Word of an officer and a gentleman.
- We'll drop Bongo off for you.
1662
01:28:28,810 --> 01:28:30,710
Bongo and I have a little business
to discuss.
1663
01:28:30,810 --> 01:28:31,870
Oh, goodness!
1664
01:28:31,970 --> 01:28:33,590
Oh, well, I do hope you have
1665
01:28:33,690 --> 01:28:36,590
the happiest possible
business discussion, darling.
1666
01:28:36,690 --> 01:28:39,580
- Good night, Rosemary.
- Come along, celibate.
1667
01:28:40,130 --> 01:28:41,495
Come back later, boys.
1668
01:28:42,250 --> 01:28:43,870
See you in the morning, Rosemary.
1669
01:28:43,970 --> 01:28:46,150
Dixie, about my account.
1670
01:28:46,250 --> 01:28:50,733
In the morning, darling. Off you go.
Nighty-bye!
1671
01:28:54,650 --> 01:28:56,095
They're gone.
1672
01:28:58,170 --> 01:28:59,501
Bongo?
1673
01:29:07,210 --> 01:29:10,100
- High up, aren't we?
- I've been higher.
1674
01:29:10,610 --> 01:29:14,581
It was a smashing party, Dixie.
Thanks a lot. You can't half lay it on.
1675
01:29:14,810 --> 01:29:16,670
Glad you enjoyed it, sweetie.
1676
01:29:16,770 --> 01:29:18,613
They are some strange characters, though.
1677
01:29:18,770 --> 01:29:20,374
And that Lady Rosemary.
1678
01:29:20,890 --> 01:29:23,860
Funny to think that stuck-up Cynthia
is her chicko.
1679
01:29:24,050 --> 01:29:26,590
Rosemary's perfectly capable of breeding,
1680
01:29:26,690 --> 01:29:29,375
although naturally she avoids it
whenever possible.
1681
01:29:29,810 --> 01:29:32,575
Come over here, Bongo.
Let's talk about your future.
1682
01:29:33,090 --> 01:29:37,334
All those cars look real squashed.
Old Johnny's doing very well for me.
1683
01:29:37,490 --> 01:29:40,070
Old Johnny's doing very well
for old Johnny, too.
1684
01:29:40,170 --> 01:29:41,501
What does he plan for you?
1685
01:29:41,610 --> 01:29:43,630
Oh, this and that. A bit of variety.
1686
01:29:43,730 --> 01:29:46,190
You know, the usual.
So long as it brings in the loot.
1687
01:29:46,290 --> 01:29:49,499
I know the routine. Beat all you can
out of a singer for a year,
1688
01:29:49,610 --> 01:29:51,658
then when the kids are bored, dump him.
1689
01:29:51,890 --> 01:29:53,270
Johnny'd never dump me.
1690
01:29:53,370 --> 01:29:55,498
Not while you're getting bookings,
he won't.
1691
01:29:55,610 --> 01:29:57,390
But a pop singer's life is short.
1692
01:29:57,490 --> 01:30:00,141
I've had three lives already,
and I'm not that old.
1693
01:30:01,690 --> 01:30:05,217
- What's he doing to develop your talent?
- Like to swing with me, Dixie?
1694
01:30:05,490 --> 01:30:07,590
You can't go on being a teenage singer
1695
01:30:07,690 --> 01:30:10,091
for very far beyond your teenage,
you know.
1696
01:30:10,730 --> 01:30:12,619
Yeah, that's right.
1697
01:30:12,970 --> 01:30:15,132
What am I gonna do when I hit 20?
1698
01:30:15,490 --> 01:30:17,550
I'm gonna ask Johnny
what I'm gonna do when I hit 20.
1699
01:30:17,650 --> 01:30:19,190
He ought to be thinking about it.
1700
01:30:19,290 --> 01:30:20,870
Bad things can happen to you
in this racket
1701
01:30:20,970 --> 01:30:22,210
if you don't look ahead.
1702
01:30:22,730 --> 01:30:25,310
Be terrible to be out of it, though,
wouldn't it?
1703
01:30:25,410 --> 01:30:29,457
- You're infected, all right.
- Never had a day's illness in my life.
1704
01:30:29,570 --> 01:30:32,050
- You're full of health, are you?
- I'll say.
1705
01:30:32,170 --> 01:30:35,811
Good. Let's go inside. It's getting cold.
1706
01:30:36,250 --> 01:30:37,775
- You know something, Dixie.
- What?
1707
01:30:38,450 --> 01:30:42,091
If I didn't have my bongos
to work it out on, I'd flip my lid.
1708
01:30:42,650 --> 01:30:44,990
Isn't there anything else you like better?
1709
01:30:45,090 --> 01:30:48,060
Well... There is something else.
1710
01:30:48,250 --> 01:30:51,015
- Do tell.
- No, I don't like to.
1711
01:30:51,450 --> 01:30:54,932
Go on. I've had requests
for practically everything in my time.
1712
01:30:55,690 --> 01:30:57,215
No, I feel silly.
1713
01:30:57,890 --> 01:31:01,815
- I won't laugh.
- It's the one thing I really want.
1714
01:31:02,930 --> 01:31:06,013
- Maybe it can be arranged.
- Well...
1715
01:31:06,570 --> 01:31:10,097
It's a motor scooter!
Not a motorbike, a red scooter.
1716
01:31:10,450 --> 01:31:13,181
What a pity I don't carry
an agency for them.
1717
01:31:15,050 --> 01:31:16,070
And who would you take with you
1718
01:31:16,170 --> 01:31:18,855
on the pillion of your little
motor scooter, Bongo?
1719
01:31:19,490 --> 01:31:23,310
I'd get one of them boxes
fixed on the back, for my sandwiches.
1720
01:31:23,410 --> 01:31:25,459
Bongo, that's really a new twist.
1721
01:31:25,570 --> 01:31:27,493
Haven't you got a steady girlfriend?
1722
01:31:28,490 --> 01:31:31,414
Why is everybody always on
with this girlfriend routine?
1723
01:31:32,290 --> 01:31:37,217
It's not unnatural or illegal, you know.
It's not even taxed. Yet.
1724
01:31:37,370 --> 01:31:42,297
Ah, girlfriends just pin you down.
Anyway, they're always wanting things.
1725
01:31:42,970 --> 01:31:44,620
Sometimes it's mutual.
1726
01:31:50,210 --> 01:31:52,030
I don't go much for these guys like Beast,
1727
01:31:52,130 --> 01:31:54,258
wasting themselves the whole time.
1728
01:31:54,490 --> 01:31:58,017
- So long as he gets his kicks.
- He ought to be saving it for his drums.
1729
01:31:59,130 --> 01:32:02,350
You've got enough for drums
and a steady girlfriend.
1730
01:32:05,650 --> 01:32:08,176
- Of all times.
- I'll get it.
1731
01:32:08,610 --> 01:32:10,772
Sit down. Don't waste yourself.
1732
01:32:21,650 --> 01:32:24,870
Oh, I hope I'm not too late
for the party, Miss Collins.
1733
01:32:24,970 --> 01:32:26,590
The party's over, Mr Jackson.
1734
01:32:26,690 --> 01:32:28,190
We all missed you very much.
1735
01:32:28,290 --> 01:32:31,230
I'd like to thank you for all the help
you are giving our boy.
1736
01:32:31,330 --> 01:32:33,936
Think nothing of it, Mr Jackson.
Good night.
1737
01:32:34,970 --> 01:32:36,654
I really mean it, Miss Collins.
1738
01:32:37,130 --> 01:32:40,179
It's not often a star looks down
the way you are on Bongo.
1739
01:32:40,330 --> 01:32:41,491
Do come in.
1740
01:32:41,610 --> 01:32:43,419
I know that you are very happy for my boy.
1741
01:32:43,810 --> 01:32:45,141
I'm happy, too.
1742
01:32:45,770 --> 01:32:47,070
When success comes to someone
1743
01:32:47,170 --> 01:32:49,252
you've nursed carefully along
like a sick whelp,
1744
01:32:49,490 --> 01:32:51,254
well, you can understand, Miss Collins,
1745
01:32:51,450 --> 01:32:53,339
you get a bit careful about that kid.
1746
01:32:53,570 --> 01:32:57,230
I thought animals like you
became extinct with giant lizards.
1747
01:32:57,330 --> 01:33:00,812
I'll take that as a compliment
from a great lizardess.
1748
01:33:02,250 --> 01:33:06,310
- I'm gonna be very plain, Miss Collins.
- You are very, very plain.
1749
01:33:06,410 --> 01:33:08,458
I don't want you interfering
with my business interests.
1750
01:33:08,570 --> 01:33:10,190
Oh, nothing personal of course.
1751
01:33:10,290 --> 01:33:11,735
Who is it, Dixie?
1752
01:33:16,130 --> 01:33:18,270
Who but your ever-loving old Uncle Johnny?
1753
01:33:18,370 --> 01:33:20,630
You've been quite
the social lion tonight, kid.
1754
01:33:20,730 --> 01:33:22,459
Yeah. But where am I gonna be when I'm 20?
1755
01:33:22,570 --> 01:33:25,096
Who cares? Now clear your cretinous mind
for a minute and listen to me.
1756
01:33:25,210 --> 01:33:28,190
- I ought to be developing myself.
- I booked a tour for you. 400 a week.
1757
01:33:28,290 --> 01:33:30,790
- Bashing them bongos, I suppose.
- What else, playing The Old Vic?
1758
01:33:30,890 --> 01:33:31,950
This is the big time!
1759
01:33:32,050 --> 01:33:36,135
- I know, I know.
- Well, you ungrateful idiot, react.
1760
01:33:36,930 --> 01:33:40,013
Don't just sit there all smug
and deodourised all of a sudden!
1761
01:33:40,770 --> 01:33:41,896
What do you think about all this, Dixie?
1762
01:33:42,050 --> 01:33:43,630
Never mind about what Dixie thinks.
1763
01:33:43,730 --> 01:33:47,451
- Please, carry on. My days are all mine.
- Who gets the nights?
1764
01:33:48,050 --> 01:33:49,654
Careful, dear.
1765
01:33:49,850 --> 01:33:51,693
Dixie's been advising me about my career.
1766
01:33:51,970 --> 01:33:53,460
You've got to think ahead
in this business.
1767
01:33:53,570 --> 01:33:55,618
Leave the visionary part to me.
1768
01:33:55,810 --> 01:33:56,870
You just remember that you're great
1769
01:33:56,970 --> 01:33:59,257
only so long as the teenage public
thinks you're one of them.
1770
01:33:59,410 --> 01:34:03,734
- What do I care about those grimy yobs?
- Start going fancy on them,
1771
01:34:04,050 --> 01:34:06,270
make as if you were for one brief
moment superior,
1772
01:34:06,370 --> 01:34:08,293
and you, my little chicken, have had it.
1773
01:34:08,410 --> 01:34:11,070
Uncle Johnny really is
telling you the truth about life.
1774
01:34:11,170 --> 01:34:13,790
Let's begin to understand one another,
Miss Collins.
1775
01:34:13,890 --> 01:34:15,892
Bongo takes his orders from me.
1776
01:34:16,050 --> 01:34:18,496
Now put out that cheap cigar
and get those glad rags
1777
01:34:18,610 --> 01:34:20,310
and come have a quick look
at the numbers for your new act.
1778
01:34:20,410 --> 01:34:22,870
- What I do is my business!
- Half is mine.
1779
01:34:22,970 --> 01:34:25,550
Aren't you playing this
just a little too tough?
1780
01:34:25,650 --> 01:34:29,894
I'm just protecting my half.
Good night, Miss Collins. Get.
1781
01:34:35,050 --> 01:34:39,135
All right, Mr Jackson. Let's see
what we can do with the other half.
1782
01:34:46,930 --> 01:34:49,501
Blimey, who's inside? Is it the Queen?
1783
01:34:49,610 --> 01:34:51,612
Nah, stop it, she wouldn't come down here.
1784
01:34:51,930 --> 01:34:54,310
- Cor! Look at her!
- Who are you?
1785
01:34:54,410 --> 01:34:57,141
- It's a film star!
- Never seen her in films!
1786
01:34:57,250 --> 01:34:58,710
No, she's on television!
1787
01:34:58,810 --> 01:35:00,812
- Cor! Look at that figure.
- She's a smasher!
1788
01:35:00,930 --> 01:35:03,532
Look at Father Christmas!
1789
01:35:11,290 --> 01:35:13,657
Where can I find Mrs Rudge?
1790
01:35:14,450 --> 01:35:15,550
You've found her.
1791
01:35:15,650 --> 01:35:18,030
And if you're looking for Bongo Herbert,
he don't live here any more.
1792
01:35:18,130 --> 01:35:20,630
No, but he asked me to call, Mrs Rudge.
1793
01:35:20,730 --> 01:35:22,380
- Oh, he did?
- Mmm.
1794
01:35:22,650 --> 01:35:26,939
- I suppose you'd better come in, then.
- Thank you. Bring those in, George.
1795
01:35:30,370 --> 01:35:32,020
Put them there, George.
1796
01:35:33,570 --> 01:35:36,190
- Isn't this homey?
- What's all that?
1797
01:35:36,290 --> 01:35:39,230
Presents from Bongo, Mrs Rudge,
for you and the family.
1798
01:35:39,330 --> 01:35:40,670
Him, sending those parcels?
1799
01:35:40,770 --> 01:35:43,030
He never comes near us.
So, what's he sending us parcels for?
1800
01:35:43,130 --> 01:35:46,930
You've got to realise, Mrs Rudge,
Bongo's become an enormous success.
1801
01:35:47,170 --> 01:35:50,230
When success comes to the young,
It sometimes upsets them for a while.
1802
01:35:50,330 --> 01:35:52,950
It upset me, I know that.
All those presents for me?
1803
01:35:53,050 --> 01:35:54,654
For the whole family.
1804
01:35:54,850 --> 01:35:56,750
You see, Mrs Rudge,
you may not have thought so,
1805
01:35:56,850 --> 01:35:59,830
but Bongo thinks a great deal about you.
He's been trying to see you.
1806
01:35:59,930 --> 01:36:02,190
What's stopped him, then?
He knows where we live, don't he?
1807
01:36:02,290 --> 01:36:04,670
I'm afraid Mr Jackson doesn't consider
that Bongo ought to give
1808
01:36:04,770 --> 01:36:06,150
too much attention to his relatives.
1809
01:36:06,250 --> 01:36:08,412
That's that spivvy manager of his,
I suppose.
1810
01:36:08,690 --> 01:36:12,390
Mr Jackson is very concerned that
nothing should interrupt Bongo's career.
1811
01:36:12,490 --> 01:36:14,857
So he don't let him see his own mother.
1812
01:36:15,010 --> 01:36:17,630
Well, Mrs Rudge,
you did give your consent.
1813
01:36:17,730 --> 01:36:19,070
I never gave my consent to nothing.
1814
01:36:19,170 --> 01:36:21,457
But you did agree to Bongo's contract
with Mr Jackson.
1815
01:36:21,570 --> 01:36:22,950
I didn't sign no contract.
1816
01:36:23,050 --> 01:36:24,859
Maybe If I had,
we'd have got something out of it.
1817
01:36:25,250 --> 01:36:27,190
But Bongo's under 21, Mrs Rudge.
1818
01:36:27,290 --> 01:36:29,910
His contract isn't legal
unless his parents agree to it.
1819
01:36:30,010 --> 01:36:32,616
We didn't agree to nothing,
and we don't get nothing out of it.
1820
01:36:33,210 --> 01:36:36,230
Well, then, you mustn't blame Bongo.
1821
01:36:36,330 --> 01:36:40,070
You're right. I'm gonna do that Jackson.
He's come between me and my son.
1822
01:36:40,170 --> 01:36:41,217
I'm gonna do him.
1823
01:36:41,330 --> 01:36:43,910
- For Bongo's sake, I think you should.
- I will.
1824
01:36:44,010 --> 01:36:47,390
You know, Mrs Rudge,
I'd just love a cup of real English tea.
1825
01:36:47,490 --> 01:36:49,572
Help yourself, dear.
It may be a bit cold by now.
1826
01:36:56,610 --> 01:36:59,630
- Having fun, sweetie?
- Never been so happy, Dixie.
1827
01:36:59,730 --> 01:37:02,030
That's what we want, darling.
Won't be long.
1828
01:37:02,130 --> 01:37:03,461
Okay.
1829
01:37:05,570 --> 01:37:08,990
I want you to know I really appreciate
your telling me about all this.
1830
01:37:09,090 --> 01:37:10,230
I'm sure you do, Gus.
1831
01:37:10,330 --> 01:37:12,990
After all, there's nothing to prevent
you taking the boy over completely.
1832
01:37:13,090 --> 01:37:16,350
If I do so, it would be only be
on a perfectly straight legal basis.
1833
01:37:16,450 --> 01:37:18,030
Never mind the ethical discussion.
1834
01:37:18,130 --> 01:37:20,550
You just get your legal bloodhounds
onto this right away.
1835
01:37:20,650 --> 01:37:22,230
- Can I use your phone?
- I can't wait.
1836
01:37:22,330 --> 01:37:24,190
Regardless of my old friendship
for Johnny,
1837
01:37:24,290 --> 01:37:27,150
I feel for all our sakes,
I have no alternative.
1838
01:37:27,250 --> 01:37:30,270
Get me Horseacre and Brixton,
Chancery Lane.
1839
01:37:30,370 --> 01:37:32,498
Mind you, darling,
you'll forgive an old friend
1840
01:37:32,610 --> 01:37:34,310
being perhaps a little personal...
1841
01:37:34,410 --> 01:37:37,030
No, I won't, Gus. All that concerns you
1842
01:37:37,130 --> 01:37:39,790
is that I intend to use Bongo
in my New York act.
1843
01:37:39,890 --> 01:37:41,190
Have you heard from them yet?
1844
01:37:41,290 --> 01:37:43,670
They've only had the tele-recording
this morning.
1845
01:37:43,770 --> 01:37:46,350
- Do you think I'll get an offer?
- I'm sure of it. Any moment.
1846
01:37:46,450 --> 01:37:49,499
Horseacre, a little matter
of legal contract.
1847
01:37:49,610 --> 01:37:52,056
- I'll leave you to your business.
- Thank you again, darling.
1848
01:37:52,490 --> 01:37:55,990
It's a matter of an underage minor
contracted as an artist.
1849
01:38:06,010 --> 01:38:08,150
Maisie? Maisie, has the kid
been around here?
1850
01:38:08,250 --> 01:38:10,190
Oh, sure. We have lots of young boys
around here.
1851
01:38:10,290 --> 01:38:12,030
Shh! They'll think it's the police rounds.
1852
01:38:12,130 --> 01:38:13,590
Maisie doll, this is urgent!
1853
01:38:13,690 --> 01:38:15,830
- So, what's the matter?
- I can't find Bongo.
1854
01:38:15,930 --> 01:38:17,420
- So?
- He ran out of rehearsal.
1855
01:38:17,570 --> 01:38:19,310
- Oh, is that all?
- What do you mean, 'Is that all?'
1856
01:38:19,410 --> 01:38:21,458
I've got the greatest deal
I've ever lined up in my life,
1857
01:38:21,570 --> 01:38:24,590
and this stupid imbecile suddenly
decides to go and get temperamental.
1858
01:38:24,690 --> 01:38:26,710
All right, don't bite me
as well as everybody else.
1859
01:38:26,810 --> 01:38:28,350
Who's biting?
I'm just worried, that's all.
1860
01:38:28,450 --> 01:38:30,578
So you come to little white mother Maisie.
1861
01:38:31,050 --> 01:38:32,270
All right, twist the knife!
1862
01:38:32,370 --> 01:38:33,550
Ever since you got into the gravy,
1863
01:38:33,650 --> 01:38:34,910
you've been screaming as though
you were drowning.
1864
01:38:35,010 --> 01:38:36,270
Why does he do this to me?
1865
01:38:36,370 --> 01:38:39,110
Don't worry, Johnny. He's probably
chatting it up with some wide-eyed kid
1866
01:38:39,210 --> 01:38:41,212
in a coffee bar somewhere.
1867
01:38:42,010 --> 01:38:45,617
Maybe you're right.
I think I know the very kid.
1868
01:38:52,370 --> 01:38:55,658
Like the sun, Bongo,
you mustn't take too much of it at once.
1869
01:38:55,810 --> 01:38:57,950
Anything you say, Dixie.
You're the boss now.
1870
01:38:58,050 --> 01:38:59,630
Good. Turn over.
1871
01:38:59,730 --> 01:39:03,630
Do you think...
You think Johnny will make any trouble?
1872
01:39:03,730 --> 01:39:07,291
Johnny is not in a position
to make anything any more.
1873
01:39:07,610 --> 01:39:10,030
It's gonna be marvellous
going to the States.
1874
01:39:10,130 --> 01:39:11,814
- With me?
- Yeah, with you.
1875
01:39:12,890 --> 01:39:14,190
I bet you thought I was a real drip
1876
01:39:14,290 --> 01:39:16,829
when I got sloshed here that first night.
1877
01:39:16,929 --> 01:39:18,790
You'd be surprised what I thought.
1878
01:39:18,890 --> 01:39:21,894
You see, I never thought of me and you
in that way.
1879
01:39:22,050 --> 01:39:23,620
Well, you wouldn't really.
1880
01:39:24,250 --> 01:39:27,732
But I'll say this for you, Dixie,
you've got what it takes.
1881
01:39:27,970 --> 01:39:30,894
- I've got the lot, haven't I?
- The lot.
1882
01:39:32,490 --> 01:39:35,270
Very lonely having the lot alone.
1883
01:39:35,370 --> 01:39:37,990
Come on, you alone?
You're always in the papers.
1884
01:39:38,090 --> 01:39:39,150
Sure, sure.
1885
01:39:39,250 --> 01:39:41,270
What kind of act do we get to do
in New York?
1886
01:39:41,370 --> 01:39:44,670
Mmm. I haven't thought out
the details yet. You'll sing...
1887
01:39:44,770 --> 01:39:47,150
Uh, yeah. I'll freshen it up a bit,
1888
01:39:47,250 --> 01:39:49,310
you know, put a bit of pep into your show.
1889
01:39:49,410 --> 01:39:52,459
- Thanks!
- Well, let's face it, Dixie,
1890
01:39:53,170 --> 01:39:56,750
you're fabulous,
but you're a bit on the square side.
1891
01:39:56,850 --> 01:39:59,933
- I am, am I?
- Still...
1892
01:40:01,130 --> 01:40:05,294
- You're maybe getting on a bit.
- I think maybe I am.
1893
01:40:05,930 --> 01:40:08,137
But you're real class.
1894
01:40:10,010 --> 01:40:13,378
- I wonder if you're gonna help me much.
- Help you what?
1895
01:40:16,210 --> 01:40:17,655
Help me.
1896
01:40:18,570 --> 01:40:21,414
Oh, hell, turn over.
You're done this side.
1897
01:40:26,290 --> 01:40:27,894
Bongo?
1898
01:40:38,570 --> 01:40:43,292
♪ You can fool all of the people
1899
01:40:44,450 --> 01:40:48,660
♪ Some of the time
1900
01:40:49,450 --> 01:40:54,251
♪ You can fool some of the people
1901
01:40:55,490 --> 01:40:58,061
♪ All of the time
1902
01:41:00,250 --> 01:41:05,575
♪ Try to convey you're as young as the day
1903
01:41:05,850 --> 01:41:10,981
♪ When a boy first kissed you
1904
01:41:11,730 --> 01:41:16,861
♪ Try to imply that the years passing by
1905
01:41:17,890 --> 01:41:22,214
♪ Somehow have missed you
1906
01:41:23,730 --> 01:41:28,736
♪ You can fool most of the people
1907
01:41:30,250 --> 01:41:32,491
♪ Lead them astray
1908
01:41:35,450 --> 01:41:40,695
♪ As a rule, most of the people
1909
01:41:41,890 --> 01:41:46,339
♪ Like it that way
1910
01:41:46,610 --> 01:41:52,299
♪ Telling them lies,
throwing dust in their eyes
1911
01:41:53,490 --> 01:41:57,176
♪ Isn't hard to do
1912
01:41:59,170 --> 01:42:01,821
♪ Fool them all
1913
01:42:02,450 --> 01:42:07,661
♪ But you can't fool you ♪
1914
01:42:09,570 --> 01:42:11,095
I'm a fool.
1915
01:42:33,730 --> 01:42:35,950
Why are you crucifying me, Bongo baby?
1916
01:42:36,050 --> 01:42:37,390
What the hell are you doing here?
1917
01:42:37,490 --> 01:42:39,230
That's what I came here to ask you.
1918
01:42:39,330 --> 01:42:41,910
Well, we've got work to do.
You're a variety artiste.
1919
01:42:42,010 --> 01:42:43,190
The tour, remember?
1920
01:42:43,290 --> 01:42:44,950
You're trespassing
on Dixie Collins' property.
1921
01:42:45,050 --> 01:42:46,950
And Dixie Collins is trespassing on mine.
1922
01:42:47,050 --> 01:42:48,630
Now, you listen to me, Bert Rudge,
1923
01:42:48,730 --> 01:42:50,750
I've got two seats booked
on the Birmingham train on Monday.
1924
01:42:50,850 --> 01:42:53,230
Well, you better flog one of
them sharpish. I'm not coming.
1925
01:42:53,330 --> 01:42:54,411
Say that again.
1926
01:42:54,690 --> 01:42:56,750
Look, the tour's no good for my career.
1927
01:42:56,850 --> 01:42:57,910
All those kids screaming their heads off.
1928
01:42:58,010 --> 01:42:59,070
Is that what you want for me?
1929
01:42:59,170 --> 01:43:01,013
So, 400 a week is bad?
1930
01:43:01,410 --> 01:43:03,492
You're just like that old woman of mine.
1931
01:43:03,610 --> 01:43:05,260
You don't care about me,
it's just the money.
1932
01:43:05,610 --> 01:43:09,581
So, suddenly it's all for love, is it?
We've gotta love you, you idiot!
1933
01:43:09,930 --> 01:43:13,218
Dixie and I are doing an act together.
Maybe we'll even do a film together.
1934
01:43:13,930 --> 01:43:16,310
I suppose it'll be about this great star,
1935
01:43:16,410 --> 01:43:18,990
who, underneath it all,
is just a lonely woman,
1936
01:43:19,090 --> 01:43:21,110
and this great little kid,
who, underneath it all,
1937
01:43:21,210 --> 01:43:22,950
is just a rotten, ungrateful little scut!
1938
01:43:23,050 --> 01:43:26,020
- Get out.
- Now, get this message and get it clear.
1939
01:43:26,370 --> 01:43:30,500
I own 50% of you, no matter which part
you'r%giving to Madam Collins!
1940
01:43:30,650 --> 01:43:33,415
You keep your filthy mind to yourself.
1941
01:43:40,370 --> 01:43:43,135
And you keep your filthy hands
off my property!
1942
01:43:43,650 --> 01:43:45,630
He's got a four-year contract with me.
1943
01:43:45,730 --> 01:43:49,451
In a pig's eye, he has a contract.
It's about as legitimate as you are.
1944
01:43:52,130 --> 01:43:54,974
You've got a real yen for that boy,
haven't you?
1945
01:43:55,170 --> 01:43:56,740
You're a real case.
1946
01:43:57,290 --> 01:43:58,830
So are you, my friend.
1947
01:43:58,930 --> 01:44:01,900
His signature doesn't mean a thing.
He's underage.
1948
01:44:02,050 --> 01:44:05,577
I see. But only for signing contracts
and voting, I suppose.
1949
01:44:05,930 --> 01:44:08,670
Everything else, he either
knows already or you'll teach him.
1950
01:44:08,770 --> 01:44:11,710
I don't have to take this from you.
Get out or I'll have you thrown out.
1951
01:44:11,810 --> 01:44:14,190
I can get his parents to sign
that contract anytime, if I wasn't...
1952
01:44:14,290 --> 01:44:15,750
His parents will never sign with you
1953
01:44:15,850 --> 01:44:18,615
because they've already signed
with somebody else.
1954
01:44:18,890 --> 01:44:21,910
Will you leave now, or shall I have you
pushed over the edge?
1955
01:44:22,010 --> 01:44:24,251
Oh, it's gonna look great in the press.
1956
01:44:24,610 --> 01:44:28,270
'Much fancied film star
stables unbroken street Arab.'
1957
01:44:28,370 --> 01:44:32,136
Say what you like. It means as little
as that contract of yours.
1958
01:44:32,330 --> 01:44:34,458
Bongo is underage.
1959
01:44:38,890 --> 01:44:43,020
To me, he looks, all of a sudden,
very grown up.
1960
01:44:48,450 --> 01:44:51,579
Not that way. The way you came in.
1961
01:45:04,250 --> 01:45:06,173
That's the end of him.
1962
01:45:06,770 --> 01:45:10,741
- You're free, Bongo, you're free!
- Tell me about New York, Dixie.
1963
01:45:11,010 --> 01:45:15,190
Well, it's full of Johnny Jacksons
and Gus Mayers...
1964
01:45:15,290 --> 01:45:17,372
And Bongo Herberts?
1965
01:45:17,650 --> 01:45:20,176
Don't worry, honey, you're unique.
1966
01:45:23,090 --> 01:45:24,990
All right, so I signed the contract
for Bongo's tour,
1967
01:45:25,090 --> 01:45:26,150
but not for dates like these!
1968
01:45:26,250 --> 01:45:27,710
The dates are the same dates for anybody.
1969
01:45:27,810 --> 01:45:30,495
I wouldn't even offer them
to a troop of performing dogs.
1970
01:45:30,610 --> 01:45:32,750
I'm sorry, Mr Mayer,
but I won't let him play.
1971
01:45:32,850 --> 01:45:34,910
- Brava!
- Now, what's that for?
1972
01:45:35,010 --> 01:45:36,630
You are a performing dog, Johnny.
1973
01:45:36,730 --> 01:45:38,670
I want you to know
I appreciate your performance.
1974
01:45:38,770 --> 01:45:40,070
Now, let's finish the comedy.
1975
01:45:40,170 --> 01:45:42,190
- I'm afraid we mustn't.
- You hear me out!
1976
01:45:42,290 --> 01:45:45,550
You have signed on behalf of
Bongo Herbert, and you can't deliver.
1977
01:45:45,650 --> 01:45:47,350
What do you mean, I can't deliver?
1978
01:45:47,450 --> 01:45:50,350
You can't deliver him because
you've never had him on a legal basis!
1979
01:45:50,450 --> 01:45:51,497
Oh, I see.
1980
01:45:53,570 --> 01:45:57,070
So, you enjoy the confidence
of Miss Dixie Collins.
1981
01:45:57,170 --> 01:45:59,910
My dear Johnny,
no one could be sorrier than I am,
1982
01:46:00,010 --> 01:46:02,490
but you've placed me
in a very difficult position.
1983
01:46:02,610 --> 01:46:05,773
What am I to do?
I have contracts to live up to.
1984
01:46:06,090 --> 01:46:07,774
I ought to have known.
1985
01:46:08,290 --> 01:46:14,110
My little gutter-lily glistening up
at that fabulous grifter!
1986
01:46:14,210 --> 01:46:16,451
I understand how you must feel, my boy,
1987
01:46:16,570 --> 01:46:19,030
but I cannot,
with the best will in the world,
1988
01:46:19,130 --> 01:46:21,371
allow your misfortune to become my own.
1989
01:46:21,610 --> 01:46:23,350
All right, so I'm in trouble, Mr Mayer.
1990
01:46:23,450 --> 01:46:26,070
If I had a way of helping you out,
oh, believe me, I would.
1991
01:46:26,170 --> 01:46:28,030
I'm glad you feel that way, my boy.
1992
01:46:28,130 --> 01:46:29,270
I would hate to sue you.
1993
01:46:29,370 --> 01:46:30,710
- It's better this way.
- Which way?
1994
01:46:30,810 --> 01:46:34,030
It's better that I, after all,
an old friend,
1995
01:46:34,130 --> 01:46:37,030
- should take over the boy.
- Cable, Mr Mayer.
1996
01:46:37,130 --> 01:46:38,211
Thank you.
1997
01:46:40,490 --> 01:46:41,821
Oh, I get it.
1998
01:46:43,490 --> 01:46:44,935
I follow.
1999
01:46:46,810 --> 01:46:48,070
Oh, what the hell!
2000
01:46:48,170 --> 01:46:50,901
If I can invent one Bongo Herbert,
I can invent another.
2001
01:46:51,170 --> 01:46:52,750
- See you around, Mr Mayer.
- Just a minute.
2002
01:46:52,850 --> 01:46:54,710
- Get me Miss Collins at the Dorchester.
- Right away.
2003
01:46:54,810 --> 01:46:56,070
I want you to sit in on this.
2004
01:46:56,170 --> 01:46:57,550
It's very kind of you, Mr Mayer,
2005
01:46:57,650 --> 01:46:59,459
but I don't want to do
any arrangements for you.
2006
01:46:59,570 --> 01:47:00,870
Sit down, please.
2007
01:47:00,970 --> 01:47:03,450
It may cheer you a little to know
that business losses,
2008
01:47:03,570 --> 01:47:06,779
like death, come to all of us.
No matter who.
2009
01:47:06,930 --> 01:47:09,774
Miss Collins on the line, Mr Mayer.
2010
01:47:10,250 --> 01:47:12,856
Hello, Dixie, darling,
I just received a cable.
2011
01:47:13,130 --> 01:47:16,259
From New York? That's wonderful, Gus.
What does it say?
2012
01:47:16,450 --> 01:47:19,932
They want Bongo.
His own show for 13 weeks.
2013
01:47:20,090 --> 01:47:22,270
That's terrific! I can't wait to tell him!
2014
01:47:22,370 --> 01:47:23,590
When do we leave?
2015
01:47:23,690 --> 01:47:26,853
Well, Bongo leaves next week.
It might be smart to go with him.
2016
01:47:27,050 --> 01:47:30,133
Why wouldn't I go with him?
You said we had 13 shows?
2017
01:47:35,450 --> 01:47:37,498
Who knows, Dixie, darling,
2018
01:47:37,610 --> 01:47:41,550
if you play your cards right,
you might get on two or three of them.
2019
01:47:41,650 --> 01:47:46,053
- Who was it, Dixie?
- An old man with a scythe.
2020
01:47:46,410 --> 01:47:51,257
- What's a scythe?
- Sort of a very big knife.
2021
01:47:56,690 --> 01:47:59,950
What did you do that was so wrong?
You made Bongo, didn't you?
2022
01:48:00,050 --> 01:48:02,178
I made him, but I can't deliver him.
2023
01:48:02,650 --> 01:48:05,310
In this business, Maisie,
If you can't deliver, that's criminal.
2024
01:48:05,410 --> 01:48:06,710
And why are they all against you?
2025
01:48:06,810 --> 01:48:09,150
They just don't happen to share
your eccentric taste, that's all.
2026
01:48:09,250 --> 01:48:11,412
- They just don't understand you.
- That's right.
2027
01:48:11,570 --> 01:48:14,176
Whenever anyone said you were a bastard,
I always denied it.
2028
01:48:14,290 --> 01:48:16,750
Good, kid, but don't bother to deny it.
2029
01:48:16,850 --> 01:48:20,093
Just explain that it's a bastard world
and I'm a fully paid-up member.
2030
01:48:21,010 --> 01:48:22,110
How long will you be away?
2031
01:48:22,210 --> 01:48:24,310
Only a few weeks,
and don't look so miserable.
2032
01:48:24,410 --> 01:48:27,230
I'm only going on a band tour.
Where's me other brush?
2033
01:48:27,330 --> 01:48:28,350
In the kitchen.
2034
01:48:28,450 --> 01:48:29,990
Well, go on. Go on, get it.
I've got a train to catch.
2035
01:48:30,090 --> 01:48:32,150
You said you'd never go back to band work.
2036
01:48:32,250 --> 01:48:33,854
We've got debts to pay, doll.
2037
01:48:34,170 --> 01:48:37,492
You wouldn't want me to, well, welch on
all those delicatessen supplies,
2038
01:48:37,610 --> 01:48:39,310
and well, there's your singing teacher.
2039
01:48:39,410 --> 01:48:41,299
You'd never welch on anybody.
2040
01:48:41,490 --> 01:48:43,310
You're so faithful, it's heart-breaking.
2041
01:48:43,410 --> 01:48:46,830
Things were never so bad. It's not fair!
2042
01:48:46,930 --> 01:48:49,830
Things are back to normal,
and they were never fair.
2043
01:48:49,930 --> 01:48:52,310
How could Bongo do this to you?
2044
01:48:52,410 --> 01:48:54,550
For a blonde broad and a one-way trip
to Broadway.
2045
01:48:54,650 --> 01:48:56,310
And Mayer ought to be ashamed of himself.
2046
01:48:56,410 --> 01:48:57,855
There's no shame in this trade, Maisie.
2047
01:48:58,010 --> 01:48:59,270
Mayer is a great flesh broker.
2048
01:48:59,370 --> 01:49:01,691
When he cracks the whip,
everybody performs!
2049
01:49:01,890 --> 01:49:04,310
The whole world loves a big agent, Maisie,
2050
01:49:04,410 --> 01:49:06,333
but a small one's anybody's whore.
2051
01:49:06,770 --> 01:49:08,499
Come on, lover doll.
2052
01:49:11,290 --> 01:49:12,870
What time do you have to be at the show?
2053
01:49:12,970 --> 01:49:15,150
Drusilla's walking on for me,
but I've got to do the last one.
2054
01:49:15,250 --> 01:49:17,491
Well, that's all right.
Being seen onto a train at night
2055
01:49:17,610 --> 01:49:19,499
makes me feel like an immigrant.
2056
01:49:21,370 --> 01:49:22,910
You're so right, my friend.
2057
01:49:23,010 --> 01:49:25,230
Johnny, I didn't see you
in a month of Sundays!
2058
01:49:25,330 --> 01:49:27,670
- Kakky, not now, Kakky. Not now.
- Johnny!
2059
01:49:27,770 --> 01:49:29,150
When are we gonna get together again?
2060
01:49:29,250 --> 01:49:31,150
I told you, it's only a few weeks.
It's nothing.
2061
01:49:31,250 --> 01:49:34,110
At last, I've got a proposition
that is 110%!
2062
01:49:34,210 --> 01:49:37,150
- You remember my picture, Omar Khayyam?
- I was a schoolboy.
2063
01:49:37,250 --> 01:49:41,350
- I wasn't even born. I'm sorry I was!
- Easy, doll, I'm not dying.
2064
01:49:41,450 --> 01:49:43,150
They are making a stage musical with it.
2065
01:49:43,250 --> 01:49:46,230
Look, Kakky. Kakky, we're having
a private conversation here.
2066
01:49:46,330 --> 01:49:47,790
Here, I'm in business again.
2067
01:49:47,890 --> 01:49:50,670
Here is what I owe you
over the past five years.
2068
01:49:50,770 --> 01:49:52,215
Plus sixpence.
2069
01:49:52,610 --> 01:49:54,817
I always keep very neat accounts.
2070
01:49:55,170 --> 01:49:57,821
Who said good deeds go unrewarded?
2071
01:49:58,170 --> 01:50:00,910
In case the public interest
in strip declines while I'm away.
2072
01:50:01,010 --> 01:50:03,377
- Go on, you better go now, doll.
- Oh, Johnny...
2073
01:50:04,050 --> 01:50:06,781
I'll phone you from Manchester
in the morning.
2074
01:50:07,130 --> 01:50:09,417
I should never have spent so much
on those singing lessons.
2075
01:50:09,770 --> 01:50:11,420
Idiot! I love...
2076
01:50:13,130 --> 01:50:14,461
Your voice.
2077
01:50:17,410 --> 01:50:19,030
Go on now.
2078
01:50:19,130 --> 01:50:22,310
I happen to own the stage rights
of Omar Khayyam.
2079
01:50:22,410 --> 01:50:24,750
Good, good. You'll sell out and retire.
2080
01:50:24,850 --> 01:50:26,830
It couldn't happen
to a nicer pioneer of spectacle.
2081
01:50:26,930 --> 01:50:29,390
Sell out nothing! I'm going to produce.
2082
01:50:29,490 --> 01:50:32,830
I got only one problem.
Who do I get for Khayyama?
2083
01:50:32,930 --> 01:50:34,910
- Khay-who-ma?
- Omar Khayyam's girlfriend.
2084
01:50:35,010 --> 01:50:38,298
She's a sort of a period Judy Garland,
you understand?
2085
01:50:40,690 --> 01:50:42,499
- You know something, K.A.?
- What?
2086
01:50:42,810 --> 01:50:45,030
I just happen to have,
under contract to me,
2087
01:50:45,130 --> 01:50:47,910
an absolutely brand new,
entirely gorgeous,
2088
01:50:48,010 --> 01:50:50,710
all British, real,
sensational Judy Garland!
2089
01:50:50,810 --> 01:50:51,870
That's impossible!
2090
01:50:51,970 --> 01:50:54,930
K.A., in this business,
nothing is impossible!175747
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