Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver

Ahoy! Alright, Bob?

Hey!

Quick piss and a stretch, alright?

We're already late. Bob.

Dave! Thanks for doing this, bud. Good to see you, bud.

And you, mate.

- It's Viktor. - Ah, Viktor.

- Nice to see you. - Nice to see you.

This is Jim.

So this the A Team, eh, Bob?

Your nephew who's never worked,

a Cossack and a fucking pensioner, huh?

Cossack?

Calm down. I'm just kidding, alright?

That's your joke? I'm Russian to you?

I'm Ukrainian.

You're all the same to me.

Okay, thank you, ladies.

Right, if you want three months work, jump in the van.

If you don't then stay here and have a chat.

Alright? In we go.

Off we fuck then, boys.

Siding with the immigrant, eh?

You're all fucking immigrants around here, bud.

Oi! Stop pissing on the flowers!

Who said, If you live amongst wolves,

you must act like a wolf.

Was it A) Ernest Hemingway...

Haven't seen like a building or nothing in like,

twenty minutes.

It's like being in bloody Africa or something.

Yeah, we got all sorts going on down here now.

Electricity, poppety pings.

Go down, Cardiff Bay after a skinfull.

Squint. Could be Sydney, bud. Huh?

Smell that fresh air, Stevie boy!

Once your inheritance clears, everything's golden, Simon.

But I'm afraid until then your financial situation

is rather more Milton Keynes than Monaco.

Building work's a money pit. It's notorious for it.

Not on the terms I've got this guy.

You'll inherit this fucking pile of rocks by Christmas.

Just sit tight and enjoy the views.

It's exactly what my family would expect of me.

Simon! Have you seen my keys?

No, darling. Have you tried the kitchen?

Ouch! Fuck!

Sorry about that.

Look, you employ me to give you advice.

If you're not going to listen, then I might as well go.

But you need to know, there's been rumors...

I mean, the city runs on them but um,

about further clamp downs.

The inheritance trust, the Caymans,

but every penny is in there.

You said that was legitimate.

Now did you avoid that or evade it?

Look, one's a criminal offense,

the other earns a gold star in ingenuity.

Inheritance tax isn't meant to be optional.

Just once I wish you'd bring me good news.

Oh!

There's an alarming amount of testosterone in here.

Erm, I thought we were off to the wild's.

Sorry, the builders are late.

Great.

Darling, I've just been told this whole renovation thing's

a bad idea.

What do you think?

Well, um, what's he called? Is it Robert?

- Richard. - Richard.

Richard.

Personally, I... I think it's fine how it is,

but I think you'll find if this one has an idea in his head,

he, er, he's very hard to dissuade.

It was just advice.

Right. I'll be heading off.

Simon, don't worry about that thing we were talking about.

I'll keep my ears to the ground and make contingency.

I suppose I'd better unpack then?

Okay.

Oh my God, man. What a shit hole!

You never been to Rhyll, then?

Well, it's only for a couple of weeks, lads.

Once we've got the barn fitted up, we'll camp in there, yeah?

Breathe it in, lads, that's as sweet as she's gonna smell.

The five of is in here, eh?

Fucking hell.

This is fucking luxury.

I've got shit in some plastic box

like some student at Glastonbury.

It stinks in here, Bob. It smells like someone died.

Yeah, well do us a favor,

shift your stuff, you're on the top.

Shut it.

Okay, so!

Hay barn to be renovated.

Restoration to that barn there.

And the outbuilding conversion.

Now, let's just get the parameters crystal clear.

Shall we?

Three months, or completion penalties will kick in.

Let's just bring her in on time and on budget, yes?

Absolutely lads, yeah?

- Oh! - I'm sorry.

- Ooh! - Are you alright?

No worries.

Er, hiya, gents!

- Hi. - Hey.

I was gonna come and bring you all cups of tea

but I kinda had a hunch you'd expect it from then on...

So I've left a box of tea in the kitchen for you.

Sounds good.

And there's plenty of sugar in there, too.

Oh, sorry, I'm Amy by the way!

- Okay so, intros done, yeah? - Yes.

Can we just get one thing clear?

Down here is the construction site.

Up there is our home, and it's off limits.

You understand?

Yeah, oh, on that.

Look, the mobile signals a bit in and out

and it's a two hour round trip to the supplier,

so I was just wondering if I could use the landline?

I'll run an extension cable by the porch, how's that?

That's fine, yeah.

Okay. Alright, come on, let's go.

Shall we?

Yeah.

- Seem alright? - Yeah.

Hey? Hello?

Are you there?

Hi, it's Jim.

Jim!

You don't need to know where I am, okay?

I'm lying low, keeping my head down.

The Hounslow job. The warehouse.

When I turned around, there was this fucking security guard

running at me, okay?

It was FUBAR.

Fucking Google it!

Look, I just lost it, okay?

He was a mess.

I need a passport.

Hey. Are you there?

Okay.

- Ooh. - Here you go, sir.

Cheers, thank you.

You know, when I was your age, we had all hills like this,

black as tar from the works.

Trees, bushes, everything, coated in shit!

Everyone had a cough

but everyone had work.

I always wanted to travel

but it just never seemed to happen.

I've only left the valleys twice.

It's been three years for me away from home.

This my last job.

Last one?

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- What's happening, boys? - This is the life, hey?

Oh, that smells well nice.

You're a lot good at cooking, ain't ya?

I still can't get this bloody Wi-Fi, Bob.

Yeah, we're on a rock

in the middle of sheep country, Steve, yeah?

- Just leave that for a bit, mate. - Don't be an idiot, mate,

you can get Wi-Fi, everywhere, Bob.

Do you know that? It's everywhere.

What's with my fucking phone, man?

It's a joke!

How's there no Wi-Fi here?

We're here for three months, Bob!

What we gonna do, there's no Facebook?

No Netflix?

For three months, man.

What are you lot laughing for?

What we gonna do? There's no porn!

For three months man, fucking hell, man.

That's human rights to have Wi-Fi.

What you laughing for? I've got needs, man.

That's fucking abuse!

- For fuck's sake. - Listen.

- What? - Stop complaining, alright?

You could be somewhere a lot worse than this,

you remember that, alright? You're a lucky lad.

Here's to a good job being done on time, yeah?

Yeah. Cheers.

Three months? Fucking good luck with that.

Yeah well, you heard what he said,

we've got no choice, yeah?

- Who's in? - Yep.

Deal the foreigner out?

Well done, big boy.

Is it because I have different passport?

It's not like getting a passport is hard thing.

Or is it?

I'm done.

Hey, Vik!

Right!

Change of plan.

The hay barn... flatten it.

Aye, we're on a break, okay?

What the hell's going on in here?

Get back to work! Now!

Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?

You're not in the army anymore.

This is my land.

Show me some fucking respect!

Or you are off this job.

All of you.

Ooh!

High stakes tonight, lads.

What kind of bloody hand is that?

Shit cards!

Mugs game we ain't got any money anyway.

Ah, bollocks.

Whoa! Look lively.

It's the captain cockspangle, sir!

Glass beads for savages, yeah?

Hey, you, behave, yeah?

Hiya! How are you?

- Come on in. Come on in. - Good evening.

I thought we better clear the air.

Oh, well, that's very nice of you, cheers!

Nice bottle of plonk, hey?

- Ooh. - Here we go.

I'll be mother.

- Cheers, lad. - There you go.

- Alright. - Cheers, Bob.

- Cheers. - Cheers, Mother. Cheers.

Nice drop there.

- Mm-hmm. - That's cracking that.

Show it some respect. It's a '98 Chateau Fonsalette.

You're supposed to let her breathe.

So um, so what are we playing?

Right, look.

Maybe I, maybe I lost my cool a little earlier,

but this is my house, these are my rules.

and if I was a bit abrupt, well then that's just me.

You'll get used to it.

It's alright.

We understand, yeah?

How much you pay for this wine?

I don't know.

She's been in the cellar for years.

I imagine she'd retail at something like ninety...

...ninety-five today.

Here's to sitting on the top of the mountains

and drinking 100 Euro wine!

Cheers, bud!

It is good.

So are we playing or what, gentlemen?

You have to sling in the keys to that Merc outside,

if you want dealing in.

Well it's a quid small blind, two quid big blind so...

I think I can stretch to that.

So you're army then, yeah?

I was.

You ever kill anyone?

Not today.

My sister's boy was army.

- Welsh Guards? - Yeah.

Yeah, they're good men.

Walking down the street in Helmand,

with a squaddy from Ebbw Vale.

Head blown clean off.

What?

Well better that than some of them coming home

with bits missing, fucked in the head,

you know what I mean?

He's a right buzz killer, this one, ain't he?

I'm fucking warning you,

you fucking start on me again, I'll have you hear me?

Whoa! Hey!

Fold.

So, the army...

Jumped or pushed?

You know what, I'll have a slice.

I see your two and I raise you five.

Fold.

Sack of shit.

I see you and I raise 10.

Oh, that's another fiver.

What?

What?

Oh, fucking hell. Fold.

Just you and I with the stomach for a fight then?

It's Viktor, isn't it?

Show us more cards.

So, what brings you down here, Captain?

You're a long way south of the border.

I might ask you the same thing.

No, my great-great-grandfather won her from General Evans,

Boer war.

He too was something of a poker player.

So, who's got the Queen? Huh?

Show me your cards.

Well if you want to see my cards,

it's gonna cost you.

One hundred.

He ain't eve got a teener to his name.

Bastard.

What the fuck you doing, Vik?

Show me.

Ah! Jesus Christ.

Oh!

Oh dear dear dear dear.

Oh! You bastard!

You jammy bastard!

You fucking jammy bastard!

- I think I should be going. - Oh, fucking hell...

I'll see you tomorrow.

Goodnight Colonel. Thank you very much!

No mention of when our fucking money's coming I noticed.

How'd ya? Fuck...

Sorry, Miss. Sorry

Hey.

I just wanted to ask you,

can you tell me where is the nearest post office here please?

Er, I can post it if you like? We are going that way.

It's er...

Or you're welcome to go yourself,

but it's an hour drive.

No, no no no. Please, thank you.

Sending money home?

It's for my daughter.

Ah. Daughter and her mother?

That's complicated. Thank you anyway.

Are you goin' away?

Just to London for work, not for long.

See you when you get back.

Thank you for that, I really appreciate it.

Sure, no worries.

Thanks. Bye.

Oh.

Yeah, it's me again.

Sorry about all the messages, it's just...

I really...

- Fuck! - Mr. Hegarty, Simon. Hi.

I see the roof's not up yet.

Yeah, I need to talk to you about that.

I can't talk now.

Well It's just that the money to cash flow,

the materials, you know, pay my men.

It's 3 weeks overdue now.

I appreciate that, but like I said,

it's all tied up in stocks.

You know what accountants are like.

Bob.

I'm off to the yard.

Did he say when the money is here?

Don't worry about that. That's all under control, okay?

Go into town, get some provisions for tonight.

Something nice, yeah? A bit of a morale boost.

And some bleach to get that shit off the wall, yeah?

And be quick, yeah? I need you back here.

The Seagulls leading 2-1,

over to Alister for the latest from Lords.

Ugh! Bloody cricket!

Wandering around a field in your pajamas!

Tea time and tourists

and stopping for bloody cucumber sandwiches.

It's hardly a sport, really is it?

There we are, that's better.

The security guard injured in the armed

warehouse robbery in Hounslow three weeks ago has died.

The police are now treating the attack as manslaughter

and officers from operation Venice

are now appealing for assistanc from the public.

Fuck off, man.

Me and Jim were listening to the sport on that.

Come on, me and Jim were listening

to the Millwall game on that. Weren't we, Jim?

What was the score then, sir wank-a-lot? Huh?

It's just a bit of static, man.

- Keep talking, old man. - Hey, here, I'll tell what,

the Archers are on next.

- You like the Archers, don't you? - Keep talking.

You told me that you love listening to The Archers!

Keep talking all the time!

Yeah, you do!

- Oi! What the hell's going on? - Shut up, you midget!

That's more than a fucking style, isn't it,

you little prick?!

- Oi! Dave! - Bloody asshole of a boy.

- You! Get in here! - Shut up.

Get in here!

I don't know why Bob bothered bringing

the fucking prick down here anyway.

Hey.

Hey, I was just...

It's all good, I saw the van.

Yeah.

It's beautiful here, right?

Yeah.

Every time I go to the yard, I stop here,

it reminds me of home.

Do you want a ride back home in van?

No, I'm good. I'll um...

I'll see you later.

See you back home.

Come on, Dave, what can I say?

Unbe-fucking-lievable.

The damp in this place is playing hell with my joints.

What is going on?

Captain Cockspangle has gone back on us

moving into the barn.

Yep.

He said now that he's not going to London.

Things would be a bit too cozy between the barn and the house.

Five of use in here another fucking month,

this little box. You mad?

- He's making a mug of you, Bob! - Yeah, any day now, right.

Any day, I promise. Alright.

Look, he's liquidizing some assets or something!

You said that last week.

Pack your bags, Vik, we're off.

I cannot do that, I have to send money home.

Look, what're you gonna spend it on up here?

Come on, what does it matter when you're gonna get it?

As long as you're gonna get it!

He's right.

You guarantee the money Tuesday?

I say we stay.

Tuesday, yeah?

I promise you big thick wedges of cash on Tuesday.

Yeah? Dave?

- Tuesday. - Tuesday.

Okay, Tuesday.

So the blonde one appears incapable of going

more than two minutes without spitting.

I can barely understand the Eastern European one.

You know the stocky one? the Scot?

There's just something about him I don't like.

How did the fundraiser go?

Yeah, it was good actually.

I forget, your accountant was there, what's his name?

- Richard. - Richard, yes.

Didn't really figure it to be an accountant's thing,

but he asked me to tell you to call him.

He said it was urgent, something about tax

or a shelter or something.

Sorry, I wan't really listening,

there were some city boys outside starting a food fight.

No, it's fine. I'll call him.

Hi, Pete?

Hello Pete, it's Bob. Yeah, Bob Pearson.

Yeah, I'm sorry it's so late, mate.

Um, listen, just quickly, I've got a bloke with me

who says he's grafted with you before. Yeah.

Jim.

Jim Ainsworth?

Yeah.

Hey, Jim. Jim, have a look.

Have a look, 12 o'clock.

That's a bit crumpet, mate. Ooh!

About time we had a bit of entertainment around here.

Go, Captain!

Come on, guys. That's not okay.

We shouldn't watch it, let's go inside.

What, you jealous, are you, Viktor?

- What did you said? - Huh?

What did you said?

I said are you jealous?

Listen, stop taking the piss,

I'm gonna slap you like a little bitch.

Yeah? Yeah?

Keep touching me. Look, what you touching me for?

What did you just say?

What did you say, I couldn't hear ya.

What'd ya say?

Go inside when I say you to go.

Hey! What's going on?

Oh, okay.

Come on, have a little watch.

Alright.

Alright, show's over. Inside. Inside!

Hey!

Get inside or I'll send you back to your parents.

You can deal with that shit yourself.

Get in.

Touch me again, you little prick.

Okay, listen, Jim.

I don't think this country larks up your street, is it really?

So, I think it's best that just the four of us

finish this, alright?

Who have you been speaking to?

No one.

I'm the boss here, okay?

I don't like the way you're rubbing off on my nephew.

Brian Gartside,

Pete Ranger or the Russian?

No.

I just think it's best that you go.

When you sack a man, Bob,

it's customary to pay him what you owe.

You can't do that, can you?

And your letting Captain Dickface up there

run over the top of you, it's fucking pathetic.

You need more men on this job, not fewer.

If you're gonna bring it in on time,

avoid penalties.

Alright.

I'm gonna pay you, and I want you gone.

Just remember, if the police come round here,

all they're gonna find is cash in hand tax fraud

and an illegal fucking immigrant.

Richard?

The builders are getting restless.

Do you have any news on the inheritance?

That's the least of your worries.

Simon, I had a call.

The Caymans.

The inheritance trust?

Christ, Richard, you said this was legitimate.

It seems the FCA's interpretation of

"Essence of the Law" now differs from ours.

They're closing the scheme down Thursday.

Warrants, dawn raids, the whole shebang.

Oh! Okay. Worse case?

They consider it evasion.

You get hit at everything that's in there,

plus the family house in Wales.

What? Lose the family home and the Hegarty fortune

to the fucking tax man?

This is an inside tip off.

We have a small window of opportunity.

The raids don't happen until Thursday.

So?

I told you I'd been making contingency plans.

That's why you pay me, Simon.

I've set up a holding company, a shell.

You get some sun on your face...

You pull the money out in cash, walk across the street,

stick it in the new company, go for a dip.

The tax man will knock the door down on Monday.

When it's empty.

Oh, you will need a signatory.

I'll have Amy get her passport from London.

Bloody freezing, no fucking money!

Fucking hell!

Shit!

Ooh!

Right, come on, lads, up and at it, rise and shine.

It's Tuesday! It's fucking pay day, boys!

All I'm saying is,

that one day we won't be countries,

we'll be named after brands and corporations.

Dave.

You're more of a fucking communist

than Sputnik sometimes, you know that?

Right, so you up for making a night of it then?

Spend a bit of that hard earned cash in Cardiff?

You got people right,

who can sit burning bank notes day and night,

and still not get through them in their lifetime.

Now, where's the justice in that, huh?

Don't matter how rich you are.

You only got one asshole, one pair of feet,

and we all end up in the same sized fucking hole, right?

Dave?

Any news on when Bob might be here with our money, huh?

Oh mate, two and a half grand in my pocket?

I'm getting the lot, man.

I'm getting a hotel, get the shots in.

Get a nice little brass, yeah the works!

Hey, David, alright, old man river?

I don't suppose any of your pals in the old people's home

can get their hands on any funky meds, can they?

See that?

Okay, change of plan.

Rain's coming in so let's shift to lining the barn, yeah?

Steve said you had been to the bank?

Yeah. Yeah, to pay the suppliers off.

I'm seeing the Hegarty later on, okay.

You're going to get your money tonight,

so happy days, yeah?

Can I have a word, Vik?

What?

You knew about Jim?

I don't trust him, okay?

I'm gonna need you later on. I'm gonna pay him off

and I want you to help me get him off site, alright?

Help you?

I hear Steve has been working half as hard.

Getting paid twice as much as me.

Why should I help?

Look, I'm sorry about this, yeah.

You're a good grafter.

I'd give you more money if I could,

but I'm up to my neck in debt.

Look, I am being screwed into the ground.

Come on. You took the job, yeah?

You know if you didn't want it,

I could have got any one of your guys

for the same money, you know that, okay?

I am sorry, but that's just the way it is.

I'm sorry, okay?

Oh!

Oh, Jesus!

- What now? - Oh, your idiot fucking nephew

just dropped a fucking sledgehammer on me, ah!

- The fuck are you up to? - Oh, my bastard shoulder!

Get a grip, boy!

Keep your hair on. I didn't mean it. I was...

Fuck's sake, Steve!

Get him out. I'm gonna get an ambulance.

Hello?

Mr. Hegarty?

Simon? It's Bob.

Line's down in the porch, we're got an emergency here.

Hello?

The hell are you doing in here?

Money.

Not now, please.

Don't touch anything.

Hello?

Mr. Hegarty? It's Bob.

Hello?

Look, I hate to ask but seeing as all this was your idea,

I don't trust them an inch.

His and hers.

Nice touch.

Richard, I did that!

I hit them hard on snagging.

I tried to trigger penalties to buy us time but no!

They made all the deadlines!

You need to help me string them along,

just for a couple of months, until the money is clean.

Are you serious?

Do you know the rate on a bridging loan?

Yeah well, it's like you said,

Pearson's firm is on a knife-edge so,

we drag out arbitration

and there's a decent chance they go bust anyway.

Mr. Hegarty?

Sorry, I'm in the middle of a private conversation.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

Get out of my house!

You planning a holiday, eh?

Or are you doing a bunk?

Listen, we're not leaving this room

until I get that money.

And I want that money, I want it now.

No, if you think you can stroll in to a man's house

uninvited demanding money, then you are very much mistaken.

That may be how things are done from whatever hole it is

that you come from, but not here!

Not here! You!

Okay. Okay, so here.

- Jesus, oh... - Okay.

- Need the length. - Aye, aye, aye...

Shit, Dave.

Well that's game over, innit.

Steve!

Well how's he gonna graft, he's got a broken collarbone?

Old man can't even pull on his boots!

What you gonna do?

You little fucker.

- Take it easy! - Get off me!

Easy!

What the fuck?

Take it easy! Take it easy! Calm down!

Calm down and we'll let you go, okay?

Just calm down.

Mr. Hegarty just calm down, and I'll let you go, okay?

Stay still and I can let you go, in 3... 2... 1...

Okay. Okay...

Why don't you tell the guys how you planned to rip us off?

We heard him on the phone.

Two tours Afghanistan, One Iraq.

Do you think I'm intimidated by you?

Give me my money!

You give me what's owed to me today, right!

No pissing about now!

That's just not possible.

Bigger issues at play here. You wouldn't understand.

Try us.

The only thing I'm giving you is a cheer

when the judge sends you back down where you belong.

Fuck you! Fuck you, prick!

Bob! Bob! Bob, the car!

The car must be worth what? Sixty-seventy grand?

We'll fucking take that, fuck him!

She's a lease.

- Check the glove, boys. - Last chance, dickhead.

Money!

It's not possible.

What part of that do you not fucking comprehend?

Stop it! Stop it!

Stop it, boy! Stop it!

Stop! Stop!

You fucking killed him.

We all did.

Okay, he fucking, he tried to rip us off,

then he attacked me, look!

You dare fucking try to step away from this, any of ya!

Is the cunt dead then?

Well he ain't doing the fucking Macarena is he, boys?

So what now?

Firstly, it was self defense.

- Jesus fucking Christ. - Look at my eye.

Self defense?

- What the fuck you talking about? - He hit me first!

That's the reason you beat him to death with a hammer?

You trod on him!

Yeah, that's probably what killed him, you fucking Cossack.

- Shut the fuck up. - Don't tell me to shut the fuck up.

He was on the floor and you went mad

and that's why we are in the situation we're in now

because you lost control.

Sit down.

Sit down!

Sit down, everybody!

Bob. Sit.

Dave.

Self defense my fucking ass.

What?

Please.

I am fucking sitting. Haven't you noticed?

I'm fucking sitting here, alright.

Steve, just sit! Sit!

Okay, Bob.

Okay. Since you're so fucking polite about it.

- Thank you. - Excuse me, Vik.

Fucking hell.

So?

The captain was handed life on a big silver plate.

And he treated us like shit.

Because that's precisely what we were to him.

Why ruin five lives on account of him?

One hand.

The loser takes the blame.

Accidental manslaughter.

The rest get out of here, fill their boots.

The loser takes the blame?

- And we don't look back. - Fuck off!

- Oh, Christ! - No.

I tried to stop you. We...

We tried to stop you.

We?

We are all in this together.

This way we each have a 4/5 chance of getting out,

but the loser puts his hand up,

takes the medicine,

no backing out.

Yeah, alright. I mean, 4 out of 5.

Yeah, I'll take them odds.

So, now you want to deal me in, huh?

No, I couldn't handle prison again, boys.

Not at my age.

I did 4 months once for GBH so fuck it, thanks.

Well there's always the bed sheets ain't there, granddad?

It has to be all of us, Dave.

Oh, fucking hell. What fucking choice have I got?

Time for some leadership, Bobby-boy.

All eyes on you now, Russian.

You call me Russian one more fucking time!

My Uncle's fighting fucking Russian in Donetsk...

Look guys, it was self defense, you already said it.

I'm gonna make a call.

What you doing? Calling the police, are ya?

Who's gonna believe one person did all of that?

Give me the fucking phone.

Give me the phone.

- Grass. - Sit.

So, what, if you lose, you're gonna take the blame

for all of us?

That's the deal, innit? You grass.

You won't last three minutes.

Yeah, is that right?

Okay, lets see what the lady's brought us this time, shall we?

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!

Ow!

Pair of Kings.

Bobby's looking at ace high.

Looks like he's in the clear, too.

Did you hear that?

- What? - I thought I heard something.

Time for the Turn, gentlemen.

Bob's on a pair of fives, probably home and dry.

Steve and Viktor are on shit and shit

but as it stands.

It looks Dave here is the guilty party.

Just take me to the river and shut the fuck up, okay?

Yes! Ow!

Lady luck loves a valley boy! Ow! Ow!

It was down to the kicker,

the immigrant with the hots for the deceased's fiancé.

I've see tougher sells.

You rigged it.

Fuck the immigrant, yeah?

What was that?

He's alive, men!

Ah fuck.

He's alive! Christ! Christ, he's alive!

He's alive! He's alive! He's alive!

We've gotta get him to the hospital now.

Nah. Nah. I can't let you do that, Bob.

What?

You can't leave him like this, Jim!

You're right. We'll do the decent thing.

What do you mean?

We finish the job we started.

No. Look, no.

No!

Together.

Oh, fuck off!

Don't forget what we did.

Because he won't!

Hey? He's got lawyers,

reputation and the system on his side!

We'll get some 2-bit fucking graduate on two hours kip!

With fucking legal aid, if we're lucky.

We'll get crucified!

We may as well have fucking killed him!

No. Hang on a minute, hang on!

Listen Captain, I know rich blokes.

They've always got a nest egg stashed away somewhere.

You know, maybe if you paid us what we're owed,

we would be more disposed to us getting you to a hospital.

Let's get this over with, Dave.

Is there money in the house?

Fucking tell me, is there money in the house?

What is it?

He's nodding! He's fucking nodding!

Did you see him, he's fucking nodding!

We get the money and take him to the hospital.

Right now!

Yeah? Please.

Well that's the last of that.

Okay. Right.

It splits it's just over two and a half grand each.

No. No, it doesn't work like that.

I'm in a hole, alright?

- There's materials... - Here she is.

What are you doing?

Fuck's sake, Jim!

Dave, it's out money! We're owed it!

Two, seven, one, zero.

Ah, Jesus Christ.

Oh, Jesus.

I've been mugged.

Look.

It's an offshore account.

Lads! It's an offshore account!

You need more than change for one of these.

- Hey, what about the password? - He's got it!

Simon...

Simon, listen to me.

Just give us what we're owed and I will get you to A&E.

I promise you that, we'll go our separate ways.

You have my word.

Caymans.

Must be nice.

Log in.

This is an offshore account

not some fucking High Street branch.

It's passports, fingerprints, signatures, the lot.

So, what is there a transfer option then?

Eh?

You're gonna kill me anyway.

Why the fuck would I help you?

Just type it in, Simon.

Password. Now.

- Last chance. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- What are you doing? - Whoa, hey, hey.

- I'll go bankrupt. - All this has gone too far.

- It's gotta stop! - Last chance.

Don't! Don't do it!

- This has gone too far! - What the fuck are we doing?

It's gotta stop!

Last chance, Captain.

Password, you fucking...!

Password!

Oh my God!

Patrol 414... Patrol 414.

You fucking animal!

Jesus!

It says 2.4 million.

Look, it says it!

There's 2.4 million.

Well we should take only what we are due.

No, we take the lot.

A little slither of this worth a fucking mansion

in your mud hole.

We're not thieves.

You don't want your money?

Fucking more for the rest of us.

There'll be a threshold.

Keep it under mil.

Ah, fucking hell!

You bastard.

Well we can't take him to fucking hospital now, can we?

Phones.

Everyone, put your phones in the bucket.

Put your phones in the fucking bucket now.

No backstabbing, no backroom deals.

We're all in this together. Phones in the bucket now.

We finish this the way we started.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Together.

I did basic training once, Captain, when I was a kid.

Just out of my teens.

Judge thought it might straighten me out.

It was that or jail.

We might have ended up in the same regiment,

fancy that.

It didn't though,

straighten me out.

Turns out I've got a low tolerance

for being treated like shit

- by people like you. - Just get on with it then.

Take it.

Dig!

Use the fucking barrow for Christ's sake,

I can't dig.

We do this together!

Dig! Dig!

Jim's on the run.

He's already killed a guard in a robbery.

And I knew.

Makes you wonder what he had planned

if we'd got out money, don't it?

Simon, darling, are you ready? We're gonna be late.

Simon?

Simon?

Simon?

Shh! Calm down! Calm down!

It's me, it's me. It's Viktor.

Calm down. Calm down, please.

Listen, I'm going to remove my hand,

but you have to promise to be silent.

Look, bad things have happened here.

We have to run away immediately.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Where's Simon?

He's...

Stop! We must escape now!

Where's Simon?

Where is he, please?

Alright, you see, it's like this.

I don't know how much he shared with you about his er,

financial situation...

Financial situation? Not much.

Okay, because maybe you knew he was having some problems.

It seems the good captain was all fur coat and no knickers.

If you'll pardon the expression.

Obviously, we wish we'd known sooner but...

it seems that his financial situation has come to a head

and he has done a bunk.

He's done a bunk?

A bunk, yeah.

Stuck two fingers up to the tax man

and the bank and off he has fucked.

Happens more often than you think,

but it has left us significantly out of pocket.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Well I'm sorry to break it to you like this.

Maybe, maybe he thought he could do the place up,

sell it on, make a quick profit.

Bail himself out?

Bob?

Explains the tight deadline.

There you go.

Thank you.

Well that's terrible.

Terrible, I mean, after all the work you've done for him.

Yeah, you can imagine how we feel.

Hmm.

And you have no idea where he's gone?

No.

Do you?

No, I have no idea.

- There's a joint account. - A joint account?

Yep. We have one together, we're engaged.

I could go in to Cardiff tomorrow morning

and draw the money out.

As Simon's left you in the lurch

after all the work you've done, it only seems fair.

How much is in the joint account?

Not much, 15, 16 grand.

Something like that.

Probably a fraction of what you're owed but you know,

if it would help?

I'm sorry I have to break the news

about your fiancé like this.

You know, I'd been starting to have second thoughts anyway.

Guess this seals it.

I guess.

I'm sorry.

Given that the captain has already run out on us,

I'm sure you will understand that we are a bit wary

of lightning striking twice.

So, you'll be staying here tonight.

- But all my things are in the house. - I know.

But, it's not up for discussion.

But Viktor, you'll be coming with us.

Where you off to then, lover boy?

Riding off into the sunset?

I just wanted her to be safe. I didn't have any plan.

Bless! Is she your girlfriend then, is she?

- In you get! - No!

In you fucking go.

Guys, it's not funny, it stinks!

Let me out. Let me out!

Guys! Let me out!

Please!

Please!

Guys!

Bob?

Bob?

Bob?

Bob, I know you're out there.

Bob, I know you can hear me.

Bob, I really,

I really need you to open this door now, okay?

You are just a builder though, right?

I know you got roped into this.

You... you've got a family, Bob.

We talked about them, remember?

I can see them up on this wall, they...

they look really lovely.

Your wife, your daughter.

Imagine if it was her in here. Huh?

Bob, I really need you to let me out, okay?

Right.

The money and the bag...

That puts us close to what each man's owed.

It's fill your boots and split time, Dave.

Well that split as well, what do you want to do?

Four ways or five?

Four. Fuck him.

No, he grafted, he earned his cash.

Fuck him!

He worked twice as hard as you.

He gets his cut.

And we need to get this place cleaned up.

Steve...

Before we go to Cardiff in the morning...

Everything.

Clean.

What about the girl?

I think we both know what has to happen there, Dave.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No way.

She's already seen the blood.

She's already hatching plans.

If she gets to the police,

we're fucked.

Yeah, well who?

Who's gonna do that?

We play for it.

Dave.

Whoa, whoa, what, what?

What are you doing? Stop! Fuck.

You crying?

You Wendy.

What's wrong with ya?

Do you know how many favors I had to call in

to keep you out of prison

when you cut that kid up?

I want you to show me some respect.

What, like my dad shows you some fucking respect?

He thinks you're a mug, Uncle Bob.

He's so right!

Look at ya.

Look at ya!

Do you know he used to deny that you two

were related at school?

Yeah, do you know what he called ya?

He calls ya The Provider.

Yeah, need to borrow the van, get some money in, hey?

Get a big round in for the boys.

Who you gonna call? The Provider.

He and my mum always used to laugh about that.

What happened to you, Steve?

Where'd you go?

That little kid I used to take to the footie, hey?

Jesus fuck. Jesus Christ.

You're soft as a bit of shit, Bob!

I grew up! I grew up, Uncle Bob.

I don't wanna come watch your shitty football team

getting dragged about like an idiot.

Come on. Jim said scrub the place up now.

Come on.

Hey, Bob, don't forget your apron!

You're a disappointment, Steve.

What you been doing?

What do you want?

Just wanna come have a little chat.

Where you going, huh? Huh?

He attacked her.

Help, Bob!

Shoot him, Uncle Bob!

He's gonna kill us both, you know it!

Jim! Jim! Jim! Jim!

Jim!

Come on.

Where have you been? Eh?

That's all I'm asking you Where have you been?

None of your fucking business.

I've been looking everywhere for you.

Don't go fucking disappearing again, Dave.

I'm 72, I can look after myself.

Let me handle this.

What happened?

Where is she?

Bob?

He attacked her.

I know he's hardly the biggest loss to man kind's gene pool,

but Bob, for fuck's sake, you skewered your own nephew!

No.

Not me.

The Russian?

You check the woods, take his car, bigger beams.

Bob, wake up for fuck's sake, he's dead!

Okay?

Check the fields.

I'll check the perimeter.

Then we'll take the van.

Beams and horns if we find him, okay?

If we don't have him in 2 hours, we meet back here.

We divvy up, we split. Okay? Agreed?

How do we know that you are not going to

fuck off with that bag?

Dave, fucking...

If they get to a phone, we're all fucked.

This isn't a fucking game, Dave!

Move!

Okay.

I didn't need saving.

I couldn't leave you.

Here, open it.

I save some, I send some.

I just want a better life for us.

That's Sofiya, my daughter.

She's smart like you.

You would like her.

You never loved Simon?

So who are you? What do you want?

I'm the same as you.

What happened to Simon?

Please, tell me.

He treated them, us, like shit.

Shake a bottle long enough, it explodes.

Viktor, is he dead?

Where is he?

It doesn't matter. He is dead.

Where is he? Tell me!

Under the concrete. The cesspit.

Keep him talking.

I see she dropped the dead weight.

You been saving your pennies?

Just as well seeing how this played out.

Hello.

Come on,

in the bag.

No.

Give me the money.

I can kill you and take it, or I can just take it.

It's your call.

It's for my daughter.

She won't miss it.

Trust me,

best she learns that you can't rely on family.

Then she can stand on her own two feet.

You were never gonna get it to her anyway, Viktor.

Look at you.

You're fucked!

Police please.

My name is Bob Pearson.

Sorry about this, old boy!

I can't feel my legs.

You're losing too much blood.

I'm sorry for Simon.

I know.

But you've fucked it all up.

Ugh. Jesus!

Let's keep it professional.

Well we're on Plan B.

We've got finger prints, passport,

bank manager's never met him.

Yeah, great.

Eighteen months reeling him in.

Bloody cavemen!

- He saved me. - He looks fucked.

You know, Simon thought you had a thing for him.

Petty cash!

Jesus!

Go and get the bag.

Did you think about it when he popped the question?

Marrying into it?

Coffee mornings, bringing up little captains?

So the finger arrives by medical courier

45 minutes after we do.

Let's hope Plan B works or we're screwed.

Petty cash and a few quid in the bag for 18 months

playing the mark...

I'll get this to her, I promise.

A life away from all this.

Amy?

Amy?

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull