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1
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,440
Yeah.
2
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:15,040
Yeah, I'm back. I've been
waiting three months, you know.
3
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:18,040
So I've just been doing little
reunions, innit? Candice is bae,
4
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,880
so obviously, I've just been round
hers to surprise her and that.
5
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,920
Yay!
6
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:24,200
Welcome back.
7
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,080
Yeah, she was really,
really happy to see me.
8
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:30,000
And her nan, who's basically also
my nan, was really happy as well.
9
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,960
Fucking piece of shit. Fucking hell.
10
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,920
What you done to your
hair? And where's Connor?
11
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,920
I'm done with you, Tracey.
12
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:40,960
DOOR BUZZER
13
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:44,960
- I thought you were not coming home?!
- Urgh, Mummy!
14
00:00:50,090 --> 00:00:52,090
I mean, technically, I'm not squatting,
15
00:00:52,090 --> 00:00:54,050
I'm just starting my shift really early.
16
00:00:54,050 --> 00:00:58,050
♪ Life ain't so great, yeah,
they'll be dancing the Moan ♪
17
00:00:58,210 --> 00:01:02,210
♪ And life ain't Hollywood
for any one of us ♪
18
00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:06,290
♪ If ever you're in doubt,
just get your wings out ♪
19
00:01:06,290 --> 00:01:09,890
♪ Go, go on and get
your wriggle on ♪
20
00:01:09,890 --> 00:01:13,890
♪ Somewhere else. ♪
21
00:01:17,770 --> 00:01:19,770
OK! Yes, Deepak, I
know how to run a shop.
22
00:01:19,770 --> 00:01:22,050
Can you just go and
catch enjoyment, please?
23
00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:25,330
Oh! Look, Deepak, be careful. OK?
24
00:01:25,330 --> 00:01:28,090
Because from far away, you look
dark enough to be a little bit black?
25
00:01:28,090 --> 00:01:29,730
No, you do! Just look, look, look, look.
26
00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:32,850
If the police stop you, don't panic, OK?
27
00:01:32,850 --> 00:01:34,215
They're like bees. If
they see you panicking,
28
00:01:34,216 --> 00:01:35,555
they panic and then they sting you.
29
00:01:36,210 --> 00:01:39,650
- OK... ?
- HE HANGS UP
30
00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:42,090
Deepak's going on holiday to America.
31
00:01:42,090 --> 00:01:46,090
What is the point? He ain't here.
32
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,250
He ain't here!
33
00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:50,890
♪ Turn up the bass! ♪
34
00:01:50,890 --> 00:01:53,090
♪ Tell the DJ, turn it up ♪
♪ Tell the DJ, bring it back ♪
35
00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:55,290
♪ Tell the DJ, turn it up ♪
♪ Tell the DJ, bring it back ♪
36
00:01:55,290 --> 00:01:57,930
♪ Tell him, play that shit again ♪
♪ Tell him that you like that, like ♪
37
00:01:57,930 --> 00:02:00,010
♪ DJ, turn it, DJ, turn
it DJ, turn it, DJ, turn it ♪
38
00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:02,490
♪ ... on the dance floor,
and it's louder on the floor ♪
39
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:06,490
♪ I got a hundred more
on a worldwide tour... ♪
40
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:14,074
iSubDB.com - fast, modern, simple
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41
00:02:17,050 --> 00:02:21,050
Whoohoo!
42
00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:26,410
♪ I slay, I'm carefree ♪
43
00:02:26,410 --> 00:02:28,170
♪ And I got my black girl, Natalie. ♪
44
00:02:28,170 --> 00:02:29,450
Oh, my God!
45
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:30,730
Connor.
46
00:02:30,730 --> 00:02:32,530
Connor, it's Tracey!
47
00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:34,850
Yeah, no, no, no. I know
I look different now,
48
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:36,490
yeah, I've become successful, yas.
49
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,210
Who is this? Is this wide-legged
hyena your new girlfriend?
50
00:02:39,210 --> 00:02:41,330
Oh, my God! No, no, no!
51
00:02:41,330 --> 00:02:44,410
I just can't believe
you've moved on so quickly.
52
00:02:44,410 --> 00:02:46,570
"I haven't, Trace. I haven't moved on.
53
00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:48,530
I love ya, please help me, help me... "
54
00:02:48,530 --> 00:02:50,250
Oh, my God, no, no, no, don't cry.
55
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:54,250
Look, I wish I could, but I've
actually got to go and see Beyonce.
56
00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:56,530
No, no, no, really,
I'm going to fly there.
57
00:02:56,530 --> 00:02:58,690
Oh, yeah, cos I can fly.
58
00:02:58,690 --> 00:03:01,770
♪ I'm flying! I'm flying, I'm flying! ♪
59
00:03:01,770 --> 00:03:03,690
♪ I'm fly... ♪
♪ What you saying, fam? ♪
60
00:03:03,690 --> 00:03:05,210
All right?
61
00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:06,890
Yeah. Where you going?
62
00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:09,210
- Deepak's on holiday.
- On holiday, yeah, I know.
63
00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:11,170
Yeah, he's left me in charge.
64
00:03:11,170 --> 00:03:14,690
All right, well, you can tell
me where the toolbox is, then.
65
00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:16,850
- What?
- The toolbox.
66
00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:18,610
Says he need some shelves fixing.
67
00:03:18,610 --> 00:03:21,410
- Why?
- Broken shelves.
68
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,210
This ain't going to be a problem, is it?
69
00:03:23,210 --> 00:03:25,650
I mean, we're mates. We're adults.
70
00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:27,890
Yes. No, yeah.
71
00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:30,210
- Toolbox?
- Toolbox, yes.
72
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,770
There you go. It's right in the back.
73
00:03:32,770 --> 00:03:34,850
In the back.
74
00:03:34,850 --> 00:03:38,850
Deep in the back, right there. Yeah.
75
00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:43,090
MUSIC: Jet Blue Jet by Major Lazer
76
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:47,090
Make-up, make-up, make-up.
77
00:03:56,330 --> 00:04:00,330
- This has expired.
- Come back later, thank you.
78
00:04:00,410 --> 00:04:01,770
Oi, you idiot.
79
00:04:01,770 --> 00:04:03,770
I said this has expired.
80
00:04:03,770 --> 00:04:05,250
So put it in the bin.
81
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:08,290
I want fresh milk, you dumb fuck.
82
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,410
Oh!
83
00:04:10,410 --> 00:04:12,610
Look at what you made me do.
84
00:04:12,610 --> 00:04:13,851
You think the world revolves around you?
85
00:04:13,852 --> 00:04:15,632
I'm trying to deal
with real-life problems.
86
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:20,090
- I want me money back.
- Yeah, well, you...
87
00:04:21,210 --> 00:04:22,970
Well, there you go,
madam. Keep the change.
88
00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:26,970
Oh, look at that, I've
just doubled your pension.
89
00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:31,010
Right.
90
00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:36,130
Fucking hell.
91
00:04:36,130 --> 00:04:39,850
Oh, look at that.
92
00:04:39,850 --> 00:04:41,290
It's a good job I'm here.
93
00:04:41,290 --> 00:04:43,170
A bit of twisting, a bit of tightening.
94
00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:45,610
Oh. You're all right with
me working here, aren't you?
95
00:04:45,610 --> 00:04:46,203
Yeah.
96
00:04:46,204 --> 00:04:47,304
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
97
00:04:47,730 --> 00:04:50,310
Me and you, we're bredren,
so, like, what's the... ?
98
00:04:50,310 --> 00:04:54,410
Exactly. Besides, we haven't
really caught up in private.
99
00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:57,690
I knew this guy still fancied me, man.
100
00:04:57,690 --> 00:05:01,090
I want to break up properly, you know.
101
00:05:01,090 --> 00:05:04,170
Talk about exactly what happened
102
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:08,130
and then, you know,
put it all behind us.
103
00:05:08,130 --> 00:05:10,450
- I don't want to have any awkwardness.
- No!
104
00:05:10,450 --> 00:05:13,890
Be nice if we had closure.
105
00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:16,970
- Tracey!
- Oh, I'd love to, you know.
106
00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:19,410
But I'm just so busy.
107
00:05:19,410 --> 00:05:23,410
- So busy.
- There's no-one here.
108
00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:25,570
Stock!
109
00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:28,650
I've got to... count the stock.
110
00:05:28,650 --> 00:05:31,130
- What are you doing after?
- Oh, I'm busy after.
111
00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:33,730
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
112
00:05:33,730 --> 00:05:35,490
Yeah, I'm going on a date.
113
00:05:35,490 --> 00:05:38,770
Yeah, literally the
second my shift is done.
114
00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:39,790
- Wow.
- Yeah.
115
00:05:39,791 --> 00:05:40,791
What's his name?
116
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,210
Anthony Joshua.
117
00:05:42,210 --> 00:05:44,170
The famous boxer?
118
00:05:44,170 --> 00:05:45,930
Yeah...
119
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:48,050
Yeah, no, no, no, it's
obviously not Anthony Joshua.
120
00:05:48,050 --> 00:05:49,450
It's Anthony Joshua's friend.
121
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,210
Basically, it's Anthony Joshua's
friend that I'm seeing, you know.
122
00:05:52,210 --> 00:05:55,090
So, yeah, yeah, and he's
picking me up in his car.
123
00:05:55,090 --> 00:05:57,890
Fancy. So what's he whipping?
124
00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:01,890
- Excuse me?
- What's he drive, your guy?
125
00:06:01,930 --> 00:06:04,250
A Rolex.
126
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:05,610
A Rolex?
127
00:06:05,610 --> 00:06:07,490
He drives a Rolex.
128
00:06:07,490 --> 00:06:09,130
Is that all right with you?
129
00:06:09,130 --> 00:06:12,890
- Yeah.
- OK.
130
00:06:12,890 --> 00:06:14,450
What's he doing?
131
00:06:14,450 --> 00:06:16,770
What's he doing, what's he doing?
132
00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:19,770
- Anthony Joshua's best mate?
- He's one of his best mates, yeah.
133
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,090
He's one of his best mates.
134
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,090
Yeah, he's got loads of
friends. Yeah, it's that one.
135
00:06:25,090 --> 00:06:26,890
- Him?
- Yeah.
136
00:06:26,890 --> 00:06:30,890
Oh, my God.
137
00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:34,330
Stormzy!
138
00:06:34,330 --> 00:06:38,170
(Ah, that is really unlucky.)
139
00:06:38,170 --> 00:06:42,170
- You're going out with him?
- Yeah.
140
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:45,410
Wow. Well, maybe we can chat after...
141
00:06:45,410 --> 00:06:48,730
Ah, rrrrrrrrrr, bing bah-bing bing-bing!
142
00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:50,370
Time to count the stockings!
143
00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:52,290
Hey, son. Ha-ha!
144
00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:54,410
♪ I call it housework ♪
145
00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:55,850
♪ Cos it's light work ♪
146
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,090
♪ What you gon' do?
147
00:06:57,090 --> 00:07:00,330
♪ I'mma throw shapes ♪
♪ Feelin' the bass till my feet hurt ♪
148
00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:02,370
♪ I call it housework ♪
149
00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:03,730
♪ Cos it's light work ♪
150
00:07:03,730 --> 00:07:04,850
♪ What you gon' do? ♪
151
00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:08,090
♪ I'mma throw shade if I
don't get paid for this housework ♪
152
00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:09,930
♪ I call it housework ♪
153
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,130
♪ Cos it's light work ♪
154
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,330
♪ What you gon' do? ♪
155
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:15,410
♪ I'mma throw shapes ♪
♪ Feelin' the bass till my feet hurt ♪
156
00:07:15,410 --> 00:07:17,010
♪ Cos it's light work ♪
157
00:07:17,010 --> 00:07:18,130
♪ What you gon' do? ♪
158
00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:21,490
♪ I'ma throw shade if I don't
get paid for this housework. ♪
159
00:07:21,490 --> 00:07:23,770
Eight, nine, ten.
160
00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:26,770
11. 11... stock.
161
00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:28,450
I need to know what happened.
162
00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:31,290
Oh, well, you know, I guess... the
shelves have been up for a while
163
00:07:31,290 --> 00:07:33,020
and with all the stock,
they just got worn down.
164
00:07:33,021 --> 00:07:34,021
Not the shelves.
165
00:07:34,090 --> 00:07:35,475
When we were staying
at the homeless shelter.
166
00:07:35,690 --> 00:07:39,170
- Oh, ah...
- What's happened?
167
00:07:39,170 --> 00:07:41,290
You made me lose count.
168
00:07:41,290 --> 00:07:44,970
So now I've got to start...
start again. It's fine.
169
00:07:44,970 --> 00:07:46,930
20...
170
00:07:46,930 --> 00:07:48,690
OK, OK, OK.
171
00:07:48,690 --> 00:07:52,690
So, the thing is about me Connor's,
you know, drifting from each other.
172
00:07:53,010 --> 00:07:56,450
It's not just that I forgot to
mention it, I chose to forget.
173
00:07:56,450 --> 00:07:58,410
But now he wants to talk about it.
174
00:07:58,410 --> 00:08:00,450
He wants to talk about
the homeless shelter, yeah,
175
00:08:00,450 --> 00:08:03,010
that's where we were staying when
we were part of the underclass.
176
00:08:03,010 --> 00:08:05,650
He wants to talk about it, and...
177
00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:07,290
16,
178
00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:08,610
17,
179
00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:10,530
18 salad creams.
180
00:08:10,530 --> 00:08:12,770
56, 57...
181
00:08:12,770 --> 00:08:14,224
And to top it off, he's
trying to interrogate me
182
00:08:14,225 --> 00:08:15,535
about my made-up boyfriend.
183
00:08:15,540 --> 00:08:19,050
You're going out with
Stormzy? That is mad, innit?
184
00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:21,770
Well, I didn't go looking for
him like I did Drake, you know.
185
00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:23,195
He found me. He saw the goods,
186
00:08:23,196 --> 00:08:24,636
he wanted the goods, he's got the goods.
187
00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:26,210
- Instagram?
- Nah, mate,
188
00:08:26,210 --> 00:08:28,930
we ain't really out here doing
it for the 'Gram, you know.
189
00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:30,970
I ain't even on Instagram, so...
190
00:08:30,970 --> 00:08:32,970
You're on Facebook... ?
Is it Facebook levels?
191
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:36,610
No, no, no, we don't really
feel the need to, you know.
192
00:08:36,610 --> 00:08:39,210
Are you and... Emma, is it?
193
00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:40,810
She wanted to, but I
ain't fussed for it.
194
00:08:40,810 --> 00:08:42,385
But it sounds like you
and your famous fella,
195
00:08:42,386 --> 00:08:44,015
it sounds like you're serious.
196
00:08:44,030 --> 00:08:45,730
It's quite mad.
197
00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:47,250
I'm glad we both moved on.
198
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,530
Yeah, we have. We have both moved on.
199
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,610
We have, both of us, have moved on.
200
00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:52,970
I mean, hello!
201
00:08:52,970 --> 00:08:55,890
Somebody call the reporters!
202
00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:58,130
You know, me and you have moved on.
203
00:08:58,130 --> 00:09:00,650
It's amazing. Do you know
what I'm going to do? Yas!
204
00:09:00,650 --> 00:09:02,170
I'm going to go into the back room
205
00:09:02,170 --> 00:09:05,850
and I'm going to crack
open a bottle of Fanta!
206
00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:07,290
Trace, can we talk now, please?
207
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:10,330
It'll be over quickly
as long as we're both...
208
00:09:10,330 --> 00:09:12,450
If you're not telling
lies and that, yeah?
209
00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:13,970
SORROWFUL HARP MUSIC
210
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:17,970
Hmm?
211
00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:25,090
- MUSIC STOPS
- Yes!
212
00:09:25,090 --> 00:09:28,450
I've just got to go and get
the Fanta, you little weirdo!
213
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:32,450
This guy! I don't even... !
214
00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:45,090
Shit!
215
00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:48,810
Fanta...
216
00:09:48,810 --> 00:09:51,290
Candice... Candice.
217
00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:52,490
PHONE RINGING
218
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:54,370
- Yo, wagwan?
- Candice!
219
00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:55,690
Look, I need a favour.
220
00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:57,170
Ha! This is my voicemail.
221
00:09:57,170 --> 00:09:59,250
Bet you thought I answered, innit?
222
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,170
Cos you're a dumb, gullible prick.
223
00:10:01,170 --> 00:10:05,170
BEEP
224
00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:09,330
PHONE RINGING
225
00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:12,610
♪ And when he came ♪
226
00:10:12,610 --> 00:10:16,130
♪ To his true love's dwelling ♪
227
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:20,130
♪ He knelt down gently
upon the stone... ♪
228
00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:22,740
- Ola?
- It's an Irish folk song,
229
00:10:22,741 --> 00:10:24,481
the night-visiting song.
230
00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:27,730
And I sing it because I want a
man or a tran to come and visit me
231
00:10:27,730 --> 00:10:30,850
in my sleep and give the
gift to my penis of fellatio.
232
00:10:30,850 --> 00:10:33,050
Oh, yeah, of course, fellatio. Congrats.
233
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:34,650
Look, I need a favour from you.
234
00:10:34,650 --> 00:10:37,930
No. I prefer transactions.
235
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:40,170
I'll shave your bum crack again.
236
00:10:40,170 --> 00:10:41,490
Deal.
237
00:10:41,490 --> 00:10:44,770
I need you to make a Facebook
page under the name Mr Stormzy.
238
00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:46,490
OK?
239
00:10:46,490 --> 00:10:48,810
And do it quickly and
do photos of us together.
240
00:10:48,810 --> 00:10:50,570
Have you got Photo Grid? The app, yeah,
241
00:10:50,570 --> 00:10:53,210
do some photo collages,
make us look good, OK?
242
00:10:53,210 --> 00:10:57,210
A challenge? Hmm, OK.
243
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:05,130
Don't look at me.
244
00:11:10,410 --> 00:11:13,690
Connor, why are the shutters down?
245
00:11:13,690 --> 00:11:14,457
You and me,
246
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,653
we're going to be straight
with each other for two minutes.
247
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:19,160
No, you can't close the shop,
it's the middle of the day.
248
00:11:19,161 --> 00:11:20,450
I want to talk, Trace.
249
00:11:20,455 --> 00:11:21,685
Yeah, but I don't want to talk.
250
00:11:21,686 --> 00:11:23,847
Oh, my God, Deepak is going to
lose his shit. Where's the key?
251
00:11:23,890 --> 00:11:26,170
You're not going nowhere
until we talk proper, so you're
252
00:11:26,170 --> 00:11:30,170
going to have to cancel your
plans with your made-up boyfriend.
253
00:11:30,370 --> 00:11:33,210
I'm offended, Connor.
254
00:11:33,210 --> 00:11:36,490
That you really think I'm
that pathetic, that crazy,
255
00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:38,210
to just make up that
I've got a boyfriend?
256
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:40,530
Do you think I'm that sad? That lonely?!
257
00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:42,650
Yeah.
258
00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:46,170
PHONE RINGS
259
00:11:46,170 --> 00:11:48,570
Oh, it's just my made-up
boyfriend, do you mind if I... ?
260
00:11:48,570 --> 00:11:52,570
- Let me see that.
- Look at my phone.
261
00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:55,850
- Go on, then.
- Thank you.
262
00:11:55,850 --> 00:11:57,370
Hi! Hey, baby.
263
00:11:57,370 --> 00:11:59,610
- Come on, open up!
- BANGING ON SHUTTER
264
00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:01,650
No, no, we are open! Don't...
265
00:12:01,650 --> 00:12:03,450
Open the shop... Hi!
266
00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:06,650
Yeah! This is so exciting, honestly.
267
00:12:06,650 --> 00:12:09,130
Yeah, I'm really excited
about tonight as well.
268
00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:10,770
Uh-uh, it's...
269
00:12:10,770 --> 00:12:11,810
Oh.
270
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:13,690
- Mm-hm.
- I see.
271
00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:15,410
Yeah. Yes.
272
00:12:15,410 --> 00:12:18,530
LONDON ACCENT: I love you,
my pretty little vagina.
273
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:19,850
Aw!
274
00:12:19,850 --> 00:12:21,770
I love you too.
275
00:12:21,770 --> 00:12:24,330
- Check your Facebook.
- Check my Facebook?!
276
00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:28,330
I will, I'll check my Facebook.
277
00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:32,290
He hung up.
278
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:33,890
Hmm.
279
00:12:33,890 --> 00:12:35,210
Look at that.
280
00:12:35,210 --> 00:12:36,490
Just a little picture.
281
00:12:36,490 --> 00:12:38,650
That's another one.
282
00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:40,090
Aw, that's cute.
283
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:41,170
Aw!
284
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:42,410
All right?
285
00:12:42,410 --> 00:12:44,610
- So back off.
- I still want to finish this properly.
286
00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:46,370
What are you going to
do, hold me prisoner?
287
00:12:46,370 --> 00:12:47,530
What, your celebrity boyfriend,
288
00:12:47,531 --> 00:12:49,131
his bodyguard is going
to come for me, are they?
289
00:12:49,730 --> 00:12:51,290
I am going out with a celebrity!
290
00:12:51,290 --> 00:12:53,250
He's got a lot of money,
he takes me to dinner,
291
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,490
he picks me up in his Rolex,
it's not my fault, Connor!
292
00:12:55,490 --> 00:12:57,650
I don't know what he
sees in me, I don't know.
293
00:12:57,650 --> 00:12:59,930
Maybe the same thing you saw
before your vision got fucked
294
00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:01,367
and you started seeing a hyena
295
00:13:01,368 --> 00:13:03,339
crossbred with a goat
as a potential wife.
296
00:13:03,530 --> 00:13:06,170
I hate Emma!
297
00:13:06,170 --> 00:13:09,130
SHE GASPS
298
00:13:09,130 --> 00:13:11,210
That felt so good.
299
00:13:11,210 --> 00:13:12,650
Now give me the key, please.
300
00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:15,490
- Open the fucking shop!
- Yeah, I'm so sorry.
301
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:19,490
We're coming. Just give
me the key, Connor, please.
302
00:13:20,610 --> 00:13:24,610
ALARM BLARES
303
00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:28,370
I need to know what happened.
304
00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:32,370
ECHOING: When we were staying
at the homeless shelter.
305
00:13:34,610 --> 00:13:36,490
SNORING
306
00:13:36,490 --> 00:13:40,490
MUSIC: One Minute Man by Missy Elliott
307
00:13:48,170 --> 00:13:51,170
Tracey, we can't in here.
308
00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:52,930
Have you been drinking?
309
00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:54,450
Have you been... ?
310
00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:56,570
I've made us a love nest.
311
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:57,690
Come, come.
312
00:13:57,690 --> 00:14:01,690
Wha... ?
313
00:14:04,890 --> 00:14:06,370
It's yours.
314
00:14:06,370 --> 00:14:10,370
I want you.
315
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:15,410
Water feature!
316
00:14:15,410 --> 00:14:18,330
Look at our... you know... space...
317
00:14:18,330 --> 00:14:21,650
- How much have you had to drink?
- Baby, no, baby, shh.
318
00:14:21,650 --> 00:14:24,290
And my body is yours,
do you know what I mean?
319
00:14:24,290 --> 00:14:26,570
So you can just take it, cos, like...
320
00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:27,770
Yeah, baby.
321
00:14:27,770 --> 00:14:31,770
CARIBBEAN ACCENT: Yeah, touch me body!
322
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,730
Yeah, baby.
323
00:14:34,730 --> 00:14:35,890
That is really...
324
00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:37,250
Yeah, babe.
325
00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:39,170
MUSIC FADES
326
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:40,490
I'm sorry.
327
00:14:40,490 --> 00:14:41,930
No, don't... shh...
328
00:14:41,930 --> 00:14:44,210
BANGING ON DOOR MAN:
Have you lost it yet?
329
00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:47,450
WOMAN: I've a tenner on you
staying floppy, don't let me down.
330
00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:50,010
- Ha-ha! Go away!- Say
that again! Say that again!
331
00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:52,296
Go away, you're fucking
terri... You're terrible!
332
00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:53,297
Right.
333
00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:57,170
- Right!
- MUSIC RESUMES
334
00:14:57,170 --> 00:15:01,170
OK. Yeah, ooh!
335
00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:08,690
- Just going to...
- OK!
336
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:10,410
Oh, yes!
337
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:13,010
That's... that's really uncomfortable.
338
00:15:13,010 --> 00:15:17,010
I'll try here.
339
00:15:18,570 --> 00:15:20,770
Yes. Yes.
340
00:15:20,770 --> 00:15:23,010
Yes, babe. Yeah!
341
00:15:23,010 --> 00:15:24,250
Stop, no, stop!
342
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:25,330
Aargh!
343
00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:26,490
Stop, no...
344
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:30,210
You're putting me off!
345
00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:32,530
Fuck you.
346
00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:34,090
- (I'm sorry... )
- No, fuck you.
347
00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:35,890
The way you fucking treat my fanny
348
00:15:35,890 --> 00:15:38,690
is fucking worse than... People
treat their animals better than...
349
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:39,770
I even got Gay Simon...
350
00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:42,450
I said, "Gay Simon, please
can I borrow your dildo?"
351
00:15:42,450 --> 00:15:44,810
Listen, three months, OK?
352
00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:46,579
And we've not done nothing
353
00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:49,035
with the penis and the
vagina going inside,
354
00:15:49,070 --> 00:15:50,450
OK? Do you see what I'm saying?
355
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,090
Look.
356
00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:53,730
It's frothing a little bit.
357
00:15:53,730 --> 00:15:56,650
It's all shrivelly and
stuff and I don't know,
358
00:15:56,650 --> 00:15:58,530
I don't know whether
that's because of you
359
00:15:58,530 --> 00:16:02,530
but I feel like it's
fucking because of you!
360
00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:05,810
I'm going to be sick.
361
00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:07,290
The toilet bowl's here.
362
00:16:07,290 --> 00:16:09,010
Get your hands off me.
363
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,970
Where is it?
364
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:14,050
Gah!
365
00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:18,050
That's better, yeah?
366
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:23,290
That was on purpose.
367
00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:27,290
ALARM CONTINUES TO BLARE
368
00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:28,970
ALARM STOPS
369
00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:31,250
Look, I was...
370
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:32,650
trying to be a supportive partner,
371
00:16:32,650 --> 00:16:35,290
trying to help the boyfriend
through their reptile dysfunction,
372
00:16:35,290 --> 00:16:37,170
- I don't know why you're pissed at me.
- Shut up.
373
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,610
No.
374
00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:42,490
It's what you did after.
375
00:16:42,490 --> 00:16:44,730
♪ Treat me good, treat me good ♪
376
00:16:44,730 --> 00:16:48,010
♪ Give me loving, give me loving ♪
377
00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:49,970
♪ Give me loving in
the way that I should ♪
378
00:16:49,970 --> 00:16:51,490
♪ Treat me good... ♪
379
00:16:51,490 --> 00:16:54,810
Uh-uh, uh-uh...
380
00:16:54,810 --> 00:16:56,490
Danni likes it.
381
00:16:56,490 --> 00:16:58,350
How come Danni's got a
hard penis and look at you,
382
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,451
you fucker, you don't?
383
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:01,370
I don't have a penis, I'm a girl.
384
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:04,930
Yeah, but you're... you're a lesbian.
385
00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:06,850
What's happening with you?
386
00:17:06,850 --> 00:17:09,610
Crazy when you're drunk,
crazy when you're sober.
387
00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:10,810
Where are you going?
388
00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:13,170
I thought you wanted to be
the one to take my virginity?
389
00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:14,810
I'm done with you, Tracey.
390
00:17:14,810 --> 00:17:16,410
Ooh, OK!
391
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:18,490
Well, that's all right, off you go.
392
00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:22,170
The dildo is being activated,
your services are no longer needed,
393
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:24,290
Sergeant Floppy Dick.
394
00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:25,890
We were tight.
395
00:17:25,890 --> 00:17:29,090
We didn't need nothing but each
other and Jobseeker's Allowance.
396
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,130
They lapped us up! Interracial.
397
00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:33,290
Yeah, usually the girl's
white and the guy's black,
398
00:17:33,290 --> 00:17:34,970
but we did it the interesting way round.
399
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:37,770
Tracey and Connor. Tronnor.
They actually called us Tronnor!
400
00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:40,210
- Nobody called us Tronnor.
- And then you went and told everyone
401
00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:42,075
we weren't fucking, and I
turned into a laughing stock.
402
00:17:42,076 --> 00:17:43,976
Well done, Tracey! Nice one.
403
00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:47,890
No, no... why would I want you to
be a laughing stock, I loved... ?
404
00:17:47,890 --> 00:17:50,330
I mean, I like you, you know
what I'm saying? You're all right.
405
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,650
You're all right. I don't...
406
00:17:52,650 --> 00:17:55,850
Just out of interest then,
why did you fuck someone else?
407
00:17:55,850 --> 00:17:57,170
I... I didn't.
408
00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:59,090
Fuck off, Tracey, I was there, remember?
409
00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:01,570
I don't care if it was a
girl, cheating's cheating.
410
00:18:01,570 --> 00:18:04,170
- I...
- PHONE RINGS
411
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:07,050
Ola... Celebrity boyfriend,
now's not a good time.
412
00:18:07,050 --> 00:18:08,210
Can you please call me back?
413
00:18:08,210 --> 00:18:09,650
Ah!
414
00:18:09,650 --> 00:18:12,690
Look, I never cheated on you.
415
00:18:12,690 --> 00:18:14,330
Never.
416
00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:17,610
Honestly, nothing happened.
417
00:18:17,610 --> 00:18:20,930
OK, well, there's a little, I mean...
418
00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:22,730
Oh, yeah!
419
00:18:22,730 --> 00:18:25,650
Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
420
00:18:25,650 --> 00:18:28,530
Yeah! Yeah!
421
00:18:28,530 --> 00:18:32,250
What are you doing?
422
00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:36,250
I'm making sex noises because I
should be having sex right now.
423
00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:38,850
- There's your...
- Oh, yeah...
424
00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:42,850
Yeah, come on, let's make
like a scissors and trip.
425
00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:44,130
No.
426
00:18:44,130 --> 00:18:44,950
- Kiss me.
- No.
427
00:18:44,951 --> 00:18:45,951
Kiss me.
428
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:50,330
- No.
- OK.
429
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,770
OK.
430
00:18:51,770 --> 00:18:55,610
OK, I'll just have a hug.
431
00:18:55,610 --> 00:18:57,210
I just need somebody.
432
00:18:57,210 --> 00:18:58,610
OK.
433
00:18:58,610 --> 00:19:00,890
Come on.
434
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,010
He's gone.
435
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:07,010
He's gone.
436
00:19:07,330 --> 00:19:11,050
Thanks.
437
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,050
Fuck.
438
00:19:13,050 --> 00:19:15,330
I had a whole 'nother story going on.
439
00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:17,490
It was much sexier than that. Fuck.
440
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,850
I tried to tell you.
441
00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:20,570
PHONE RINGS
442
00:19:20,570 --> 00:19:21,890
Ola, give it up.
443
00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:24,050
- But I must tell you some...
- Bye.
444
00:19:24,050 --> 00:19:25,410
So you're not going out with... ?
445
00:19:25,410 --> 00:19:29,410
Of course I ain't going out with him.
446
00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:31,170
It's lonely, innit?
447
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,810
Yeah.
448
00:19:32,810 --> 00:19:36,810
- Mindlessly fucking whoever and then it's just...
- Wait...
449
00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:38,850
- Hmm?
- You're... ?
450
00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:41,530
Oh, yeah, no, it's
fine, it's just with you.
451
00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:42,570
Oh.
452
00:19:42,570 --> 00:19:45,810
No, I mean, I don't know
what it is. I just...
453
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:49,370
I think it's special. In a good way.
454
00:19:49,370 --> 00:19:53,210
- Are you still a... ?
- A virgin?
455
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:54,530
No!
456
00:19:54,530 --> 00:19:56,050
No, no, no.
457
00:19:56,050 --> 00:19:57,650
I got it.
458
00:19:57,650 --> 00:19:58,890
Brrr, oooh!
459
00:19:58,890 --> 00:20:00,610
It hurt, you know? I was like, "Aggh!"
460
00:20:00,610 --> 00:20:04,610
- Why do you lie so much?
- I'm not sure.
461
00:20:15,210 --> 00:20:16,770
We should get back to work.
462
00:20:16,770 --> 00:20:19,650
Yeah. Yeah.
463
00:20:19,650 --> 00:20:21,530
Work.
464
00:20:21,530 --> 00:20:23,090
Right.
465
00:20:23,090 --> 00:20:25,130
These...
466
00:20:25,130 --> 00:20:26,370
Right...
467
00:20:26,370 --> 00:20:28,450
Nah, I don't really work here.
468
00:20:28,450 --> 00:20:29,650
It's worked out really well.
469
00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:33,650
I saw Deepak with his suitcases,
put two and two together.
470
00:20:34,210 --> 00:20:35,530
OK. Wow.
471
00:20:35,530 --> 00:20:37,090
I just wanted to chat with you.
472
00:20:37,090 --> 00:20:38,210
Alone.
473
00:20:38,210 --> 00:20:42,210
Without Emma breathing down my...
474
00:20:42,570 --> 00:20:45,250
Why do you hate her so much?
475
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:46,810
You ain't even met her.
476
00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:48,290
Because she's nice.
477
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:52,290
I can tell.
478
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:57,250
So are you.
479
00:20:57,730 --> 00:20:59,810
Whoa, Connor, what are you doing?
480
00:20:59,810 --> 00:21:03,810
We can't, we were talking
about your girlfriend.
481
00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:07,650
I was trying to leave.
482
00:21:07,650 --> 00:21:11,650
Oh, yeah, yeah.
483
00:21:11,930 --> 00:21:15,610
♪ Where would I be without you, baby? ♪
484
00:21:15,610 --> 00:21:18,450
♪ So if you need me, if you want me ♪
485
00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:20,730
♪ To put it on you ♪
486
00:21:20,730 --> 00:21:23,450
♪ Because I love ya ♪
487
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,770
♪ And don't you forget it ♪
488
00:21:25,770 --> 00:21:28,650
♪ Whenever you need me, if you want me ♪
489
00:21:28,650 --> 00:21:30,970
♪ To put it on you... ♪
490
00:21:30,970 --> 00:21:34,450
The fuck?!
491
00:21:34,450 --> 00:21:36,490
♪ Man, try say he's better than me ♪
492
00:21:36,490 --> 00:21:38,250
♪ Tell my man, shut up ♪
493
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:39,770
♪ Mention my name in your tweets ♪
494
00:21:39,770 --> 00:21:42,530
♪ Oi, rudeboy, shut up... ♪
495
00:21:42,530 --> 00:21:44,610
Tracey, yeah?
496
00:21:44,610 --> 00:21:46,130
Yes?
497
00:21:46,130 --> 00:21:48,850
But she doesn't know
that she's got cancer?
498
00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:51,050
I don't have cancer.
499
00:21:51,050 --> 00:21:54,210
She can function, but
her head is just...
500
00:21:54,210 --> 00:21:56,490
All right. Take these.
501
00:21:56,490 --> 00:22:00,490
I ain't really got the time
for this, so I'm just gonna...
502
00:22:00,850 --> 00:22:03,250
Ooh, Stormzy!
503
00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:05,650
You told him I've got cancer?
504
00:22:05,650 --> 00:22:07,330
That you had a little bit.
505
00:22:07,330 --> 00:22:11,330
Just small, small cancer.
506
00:22:11,810 --> 00:22:13,410
What?
507
00:22:13,411 --> 00:22:18,411
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507
00:22:19,305 --> 00:23:19,525
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