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1
00:00:20,303 --> 00:00:23,432
We've got lots of canyons in Texas...
2
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,739
...but nothing quite like this one,
3
00:00:26,910 --> 00:00:29,470
once you get north
of Neiman Marcus, that is.
4
00:00:30,981 --> 00:00:32,972
Today is roundup time.
5
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,560
This restless herd has been known
to trample to death,
6
00:00:44,728 --> 00:00:49,666
inside of 18 seconds, the bank
accounts of 1,200 husbands.
7
00:01:52,796 --> 00:01:54,127
Sheriff, arrest that woman.
8
00:01:54,297 --> 00:01:57,289
She's the cause
of the whole doggone stampede.
9
00:01:57,467 --> 00:02:02,564
She's a no-good, two-timing,
double-crossing, thieving skunk.
10
00:02:02,739 --> 00:02:05,606
Well, this is Fifth Avenue.
She's a no-good, two-timing,
11
00:02:05,775 --> 00:02:10,008
double-crossing, thieving,
natural wild mink.
12
00:02:10,180 --> 00:02:13,548
Her name is Samantha Blake.
That's right, Samantha.
13
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,310
It's from the Bible.
14
00:02:15,485 --> 00:02:18,182
And so, in some things,
is her conscience.
15
00:02:18,354 --> 00:02:24,350
Maybe that's why, at the ripe old age
of 25, Samantha is a semi-virgin.
16
00:02:24,527 --> 00:02:26,825
That's a girl who tried love once
17
00:02:26,996 --> 00:02:29,397
but didn't like if.
18
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,728
So instead of a cold shower,
she plunged into a career
19
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:36,361
as head buyer of ladies' dresses
for J. Bergner, Incorporated,
20
00:02:36,539 --> 00:02:39,406
Fifth Avenue,
the working girl's friend.
21
00:02:40,443 --> 00:02:44,778
Part of her job is to copy
from the rich, and sell to the poor.
22
00:02:44,948 --> 00:02:46,746
The rich poor.
23
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:52,184
After midnight, she prowls
the world's most expensive jungle.
24
00:02:52,355 --> 00:02:54,983
She carries a sketch pad,
25
00:02:55,158 --> 00:02:56,853
dark glasses,
26
00:02:57,026 --> 00:02:59,324
a photographic memory,
27
00:02:59,496 --> 00:03:02,056
a tiny German camera...
28
00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:08,138
...and the soul of Mata Hari.
29
00:03:17,313 --> 00:03:21,841
She's just a sweet-looking,
innocent, cold-blooded horse thief.
30
00:03:22,819 --> 00:03:25,914
And don't think the word
hasn't gotten around.
31
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,490
So I figure we can duplicate it in
rayon and machine the embroidery
32
00:05:40,657 --> 00:05:44,855
and sell the whole schmeer
for about $39. Bonwit's price is 200.
33
00:05:45,028 --> 00:05:47,929
Girls will come swimming in
from Long Island for this one.
34
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,895
The detail on the bow's
a little like that, see?
35
00:05:50,066 --> 00:05:51,727
Rembrandt couldn't have
copied it any better.
36
00:05:51,901 --> 00:05:54,336
Rembrandt didn't learn
from Macy's window.
37
00:05:54,504 --> 00:05:56,529
Sam, I got something to tell you.
Come to the office.
38
00:05:56,706 --> 00:05:58,572
Okay, girls, take a break,
we'll pick it up later.
39
00:05:58,741 --> 00:06:01,438
And get me a sample
of that embroidery, all right?
40
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,841
Marvin, I'm not paying you
to look at the models.
41
00:06:04,013 --> 00:06:06,414
- Nephews I have to hire yet.
- I wonder whose niece she is.
42
00:06:06,582 --> 00:06:09,677
Bergner, come and take
a look at this.
43
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,818
Something's wrong.
Upstairs it doesn't look good.
44
00:06:13,523 --> 00:06:16,720
I get the message.
Here, slip these in, honey.
45
00:06:16,893 --> 00:06:19,385
More men have promised to love,
honor and obey a good set
46
00:06:19,562 --> 00:06:21,030
of sponge rubber
than they'll ever know.
47
00:06:21,197 --> 00:06:24,258
Sometimes I get this great feeling
of sadness for the opposite sex.
48
00:06:24,434 --> 00:06:27,426
All right, all right. Come to the office.
You too, bright eyes.
49
00:06:27,603 --> 00:06:29,867
What's doing at the office
all of a sudden?
50
00:06:30,039 --> 00:06:31,564
I was in Ohrbach's today.
51
00:06:31,741 --> 00:06:34,870
- Wash your mouth outwith soap.
- Listen.
52
00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:38,605
They got a good operation,
a fine operation. And you know it too.
53
00:06:38,781 --> 00:06:41,079
And that's the last kind word
about the competition.
54
00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:43,514
You know what it is to own a store?
Like a child.
55
00:06:43,686 --> 00:06:45,711
You watch it grow, give it the best.
56
00:06:46,022 --> 00:06:47,547
Me? I got no children.
57
00:06:47,957 --> 00:06:49,049
- Here we go.
- All right.
58
00:06:49,392 --> 00:06:50,689
Who said I got no children?
59
00:06:50,860 --> 00:06:52,692
All my children
are right in this building.
60
00:06:52,862 --> 00:06:55,456
My favorites, right in this room.
61
00:06:55,631 --> 00:06:58,362
- Mr. Bergner, we feel the same way.
- All right.
62
00:06:58,968 --> 00:07:00,265
You know what Ohrbach's
is showing?
63
00:07:00,436 --> 00:07:02,336
- What?
- Dior, Givenchy.
64
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,906
- "Givenchy."
- Yeah, them too.
65
00:07:05,541 --> 00:07:06,736
The best from Paris.
66
00:07:07,410 --> 00:07:09,401
So? Why not?
67
00:07:09,712 --> 00:07:11,111
Do you mean what I think you mean?
68
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,742
Wednesday we're leaving for Paris.
How soon can you get packed?
69
00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:16,885
What's wrong with what I'm wearing?
70
00:07:17,053 --> 00:07:18,111
What's right?
71
00:07:18,388 --> 00:07:21,187
We'll take in all the showings,
the new fashions
72
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,086
- at the best houses.
- Great.
73
00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:26,422
And for my children,
nothing is too good.
74
00:07:26,596 --> 00:07:32,126
We'll buy. We'll buy,
buy and buy.
75
00:07:32,301 --> 00:07:35,066
And what we can't buy, we'll steal.
76
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,637
Out in California,
they're stealing bases.
77
00:07:39,809 --> 00:07:43,643
Take a good look at Chavez Ravine,
if you can see it through the smog.
78
00:07:43,813 --> 00:07:45,542
Three years ago
it was a goat pasture.
79
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,446
Today they're fighting
for the World Series here.
80
00:07:48,618 --> 00:07:52,987
Shows you what hard work
and the will to succeed can achieve.
81
00:07:53,156 --> 00:07:56,182
I was up in the press box,
even though I don't cover sports.
82
00:07:56,359 --> 00:07:59,021
I came out from New York to do
a series on rocket hardware,
83
00:07:59,195 --> 00:08:01,527
but I picked up a blond
and a pass to the ball game
84
00:08:01,697 --> 00:08:04,598
because I just can't resist athletics.
85
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:07,302
Any kind.
86
00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:16,974
There was more
than one game going on.
87
00:08:18,314 --> 00:08:22,251
I started to discuss the last play
and suggested the next one.
88
00:08:26,622 --> 00:08:30,855
Shows you what hard work
and the will to succeed can achieve.
89
00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:36,394
By the eighth inning I'd found
a much more comfortable place
90
00:08:36,566 --> 00:08:37,761
to watch the game.
91
00:08:37,967 --> 00:08:40,937
The pitch is outside, making
the count 3-2 on the batter.
92
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:44,506
This crowd is going out of its mind.
93
00:08:44,707 --> 00:08:49,167
Here's the pitch. And it's a base hit
right over second base.
94
00:08:51,848 --> 00:08:56,843
I have an idea the excitement
is just beginning, so don't go away.
95
00:09:03,226 --> 00:09:05,422
And now, a word
about something of interest
96
00:09:05,595 --> 00:09:07,461
to all you men in our audience.
97
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:11,589
Fellas, if you're like I am, when
you want a lather, you want it fast.
98
00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:14,429
Well, you're looking at something
that'll wilt your beard
99
00:09:14,604 --> 00:09:19,508
faster than anything known
to science: Insta-Shave.
100
00:09:19,675 --> 00:09:23,168
Look for it.
There's no mistaking this package.
101
00:09:23,346 --> 00:09:26,008
And now, back to the field.
102
00:09:26,849 --> 00:09:28,544
Here's the windup.
103
00:09:30,887 --> 00:09:34,824
The pitch. Strike one,
right on the inside corner.
104
00:09:35,191 --> 00:09:36,386
Here comes the next pitch.
105
00:09:37,126 --> 00:09:41,085
And there she goes.
Going, going... It's a home run,
106
00:09:41,264 --> 00:09:42,993
over the right-field fence.
107
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:44,356
Boy, oh, boy!
108
00:09:44,534 --> 00:09:48,903
If you left this game early,
you've certainly missed a lot of action.
109
00:09:49,472 --> 00:09:50,997
You're fired.
110
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:55,702
Sacked. Or as we used to put it
in the newspaper business, canned.
111
00:09:56,045 --> 00:09:58,070
Pick up your severance pay
and get out.
112
00:09:59,081 --> 00:10:02,073
Have I made myself painfully clear?
113
00:10:02,785 --> 00:10:04,913
You know, Mr. Chalmers,
114
00:10:05,087 --> 00:10:09,888
my contract with International Press
was drawn by the outstanding,
115
00:10:10,059 --> 00:10:13,051
foremost, the most respected
sneaky lawyer in the business.
116
00:10:13,462 --> 00:10:16,295
I, along with the United
Automobile Workers
117
00:10:16,465 --> 00:10:19,594
and the Brotherhood of Teamsters--
Thank you.
118
00:10:19,769 --> 00:10:22,898
And the International Alliance
of Theatrical Stage Employees,
119
00:10:23,072 --> 00:10:25,097
am non-cancelable.
120
00:10:25,274 --> 00:10:29,211
Modern living.
It's ruining everything.
121
00:10:29,745 --> 00:10:32,009
It used to be fun to fire people.
122
00:10:32,181 --> 00:10:34,616
Now it takes a ruling
of the Supreme Court.
123
00:10:34,784 --> 00:10:37,253
So I missed the deadline
on my column.
124
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:38,945
I'm not the first guy or the last.
125
00:10:39,121 --> 00:10:41,249
And besides, it's your fault,
Mr. Chalmers.
126
00:10:41,424 --> 00:10:42,858
My fault?
127
00:10:43,025 --> 00:10:45,517
Remember that "Welcome
to Los Angeles" party--
128
00:10:45,695 --> 00:10:47,220
- Yes, I remember that--
- At your house?
129
00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:48,921
- Yes.
- That's where I met that blond.
130
00:10:49,098 --> 00:10:51,260
Tell you the truth,
I don't even know her name.
131
00:10:51,434 --> 00:10:53,698
It's Mrs. Chalmers.
132
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:57,634
Oh, boy...
133
00:10:58,174 --> 00:11:01,144
I-- I don't know what to say.
Small world.
134
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:02,835
Isn't it?
135
00:11:03,212 --> 00:11:05,340
But that's my problem.
136
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:09,578
Steve, I can't figure you out.
137
00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:12,447
First it was that ambassador's
wife in Washington.
138
00:11:12,622 --> 00:11:14,954
Then the girlfriend
of the Russian consul.
139
00:11:15,124 --> 00:11:17,752
- What a dog.
- And now...
140
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:22,254
How a writer with your intellectual
capacity can waste his whole--
141
00:11:22,565 --> 00:11:24,829
There are a lot of things I don't
wanna waste, Mr. Chalmers.
142
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:27,129
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may
143
00:11:27,303 --> 00:11:29,738
That's what Robert Herrick said.
Pretty fair poet.
144
00:11:29,905 --> 00:11:31,600
And you know about Baudelaire.
145
00:11:31,874 --> 00:11:34,809
He wrote his best work
in the boudoir with a quill pen
146
00:11:34,977 --> 00:11:36,843
on the naked...
147
00:11:39,048 --> 00:11:40,675
...back of his mistress.
148
00:11:40,850 --> 00:11:44,445
Now, what would you have me use
for inspiration? An electric typewriter?
149
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:47,521
I don't care what you use,
as long as I'm not married to it.
150
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,486
But you do need something.
151
00:11:49,659 --> 00:11:52,321
In addition to everything else, your
columns have been getting lousy.
152
00:11:52,495 --> 00:11:54,395
- Thank you.
- All right.
153
00:11:54,563 --> 00:11:56,588
Due to the grace of your lawyer,
I can't fire you.
154
00:11:56,766 --> 00:11:58,825
But one thing I can do:
I can send you
155
00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:00,867
as far away from my wife as possible.
156
00:12:01,203 --> 00:12:04,867
Now, you get back to New York
and straighten out your affairs...
157
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,734
Business.
158
00:12:07,276 --> 00:12:09,074
Because next Wednesday,
159
00:12:09,245 --> 00:12:11,236
you're leaving for our office in Paris.
160
00:12:11,747 --> 00:12:12,839
Paris?
161
00:12:13,015 --> 00:12:17,543
Where you'll probably,
I hope, kill yourself.
162
00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:23,049
Oh, yeah, but what
a wonderful way to go.
163
00:12:27,129 --> 00:12:30,565
Oh, listen, about your wife,
I'm really sorry.
164
00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,258
If there's anything I can do...
165
00:12:32,702 --> 00:12:34,101
You've done it.
166
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,571
Yeah, I guess so.
167
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:52,446
Welcome aboard
Scandinavian Airlines Flight 45,
168
00:12:52,621 --> 00:12:55,682
from New York to Paris.
We are now serving snacks,
169
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:59,021
and dinner will be along shortly.
170
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:04,596
"As your magic-carpet jet speeds you
to romantic Ia belle France--"
171
00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:08,465
That's pronounced "France."
"The land that was made for love."
172
00:13:08,637 --> 00:13:12,301
Okay, melding a round house,
that's 240, makes 500.
173
00:13:12,475 --> 00:13:14,375
- You owe me another ten bucks.
- La belle France,
174
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:16,375
the land that was made for pinochle.
175
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:18,775
Your deal, Sam.
This time I'll knock your brains out.
176
00:13:18,948 --> 00:13:21,076
You know, if I had a son,
he would've been just like her.
177
00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:23,776
But he'd have combed his hair.
178
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:28,281
Okay, your lead.
This time you'll lose your shirt.
179
00:13:28,591 --> 00:13:30,389
Is that so? I'll murder you.
180
00:13:30,659 --> 00:13:32,991
I'll marbleize you.
181
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:40,468
You know, I got an idea. If Lindbergh
could have looked into the future,
182
00:13:40,636 --> 00:13:44,163
that lonely dawn in 1927...
183
00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:46,809
...he'd have said the hell with it.
184
00:13:48,677 --> 00:13:51,806
This is your copilot. We are sorry
that there is nothing interesting
185
00:13:51,981 --> 00:13:53,745
for you to look at at this altitude.
186
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:58,581
But our stewardess will do whatever
they can to keep you happy.
187
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,824
ls there something I can give you?
188
00:14:07,797 --> 00:14:11,700
- Do you have a quill pen?
- Quill pen?
189
00:14:11,867 --> 00:14:14,268
Yes, I was thinking of writing
a letter home to Mummy.
190
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,838
No, I don't think so.
Perhaps after we serve dinner.
191
00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:20,533
Sjutusen sjuhundra sjuttiosju.
192
00:14:20,709 --> 00:14:24,111
- What?
- That's 7,777 in Swedish.
193
00:14:24,346 --> 00:14:27,475
I've been waiting eight years
to work that into a conversation.
194
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:32,281
Well, your accent is terrible. And I'm
Danish, not Swedish. Excuse me.
195
00:14:34,557 --> 00:14:38,323
- What's for dinner?
- Pété foie gras truffé, to start.
196
00:14:38,994 --> 00:14:39,984
What's that?
197
00:14:40,162 --> 00:14:42,324
Chopped liver,
like your mother couldn't make.
198
00:14:42,498 --> 00:14:45,957
It's from a goose they feed 12 times
a day and don't let it get any exercise.
199
00:14:46,669 --> 00:14:48,364
My brother-in-law, Marvin's father.
200
00:14:51,207 --> 00:14:54,199
L-- Excuse me, I-- I have this
bit of a problem. You see,
201
00:14:54,376 --> 00:14:56,367
I have this delicate stomach,
and I was just wondering
202
00:14:56,545 --> 00:14:59,515
if I could get in here
and prepare my own--
203
00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:03,217
- I'm very sorry, but we're not allowed--
- I don't see why not.
204
00:15:03,385 --> 00:15:05,319
On El Al, they let you cook
your own chicken soup,
205
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,150
and on lots of airlines you can sit
on the stewardess' lap
206
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,849
if you can get the pilots off.
207
00:15:12,261 --> 00:15:14,389
We got one those kooks on board.
208
00:15:14,563 --> 00:15:17,624
Some guy is helping the stewardesses
serve the dinner.
209
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,791
He's probably drunk. I don't know
why they're allowed
210
00:15:19,969 --> 00:15:21,403
to serve liquor at this altitude.
211
00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:24,232
He's not drunk. He's cute.
212
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,238
He's not cute. He's drunk.
213
00:15:32,414 --> 00:15:34,178
Play cards.
214
00:15:36,819 --> 00:15:38,253
No, I10, no, no, no.
215
00:15:41,657 --> 00:15:43,523
Your dinner, sir.
216
00:15:46,161 --> 00:15:49,153
- Drunk.
- He's cute.
217
00:15:49,331 --> 00:15:52,824
I... I'm really awfully sorry.
218
00:15:53,769 --> 00:15:55,464
Miss?
219
00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:59,265
What's on this steak?
220
00:15:59,608 --> 00:16:00,598
That's a Manhattan.
221
00:16:00,776 --> 00:16:03,370
We ran out of Scotch. All the other
passengers seem to like it.
222
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,105
Would you mind asking
the stewardess
223
00:16:05,281 --> 00:16:06,749
to bring me something else, please?
224
00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:08,281
And the next time
you're in New York,
225
00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:11,545
I suggest you call El Dorado 5-3598.
226
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,984
That's Alcoholic Anonymous.
You need help.
227
00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:20,189
Yes, sir.
228
00:16:22,298 --> 00:16:23,322
What did he say?
229
00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:27,725
- Shut up and deal.
- Can't blame him.
230
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:32,466
Good morning.
This is Captain Gustaffson.
231
00:16:32,641 --> 00:16:35,542
We estimate Orly Field, Paris,
in about one hour.
232
00:16:35,711 --> 00:16:39,170
The temperature on the ground
is 51 degrees Fahrenheit.
233
00:16:39,348 --> 00:16:42,943
Our altitude now is 39,000 feet,
and our ground speed
234
00:16:43,118 --> 00:16:46,611
approximately 600 miles an hour
as we begin our descent.
235
00:16:46,789 --> 00:16:49,258
We hope you've had a pleasant flight.
236
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:19,516
But of course, you must
have a toast in champagne
237
00:17:19,688 --> 00:17:21,213
your first moment in France.
238
00:17:21,390 --> 00:17:24,325
At 6:00 in the morning,
I think I'd prefer orange juice.
239
00:17:24,493 --> 00:17:26,552
Oh, darling, in Paris,
we only have orange juice
240
00:17:26,729 --> 00:17:29,130
when there is a roast duck in it.
241
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,925
- You peasant.
- In this country,
242
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,432
we've gotta rely on Miss Courbeau
and her buying office
243
00:17:33,602 --> 00:17:36,833
to show us the ropes. Whatever she
says goes, especially champagne.
244
00:17:37,206 --> 00:17:39,971
- My name is Felicienne, Mr. Bergner.
- Oh, beautiful.
245
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:41,906
Oh, gargon, champagne,
s'il vous plait.
246
00:17:42,077 --> 00:17:46,412
- Certainement.
- Oh, Mr. Bergner, look. Isn't it lovely?
247
00:17:47,449 --> 00:17:48,780
Say, that's a nice view over there.
248
00:17:48,951 --> 00:17:51,215
Welcome to Ia belle France,
Mr. Bergner.
249
00:17:51,387 --> 00:17:55,153
- And hang on to your gold teeth.
- Lina, you're jealous.
250
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:59,261
Why shouldn't I be? I worked
for that schmo for 15 years.
251
00:17:59,795 --> 00:18:02,924
And he still thinks I'm just doing it
for the money.
252
00:18:03,932 --> 00:18:06,458
Maybe I should have walked
into his office a long time ago
253
00:18:06,635 --> 00:18:11,095
and said, "Mr. Bergner,
we simply must have breakfast.
254
00:18:11,273 --> 00:18:13,799
Prune Danish, quart of champagne.
255
00:18:14,376 --> 00:18:17,073
A poached egg on mink."
256
00:18:17,246 --> 00:18:20,739
The only trouble with being
middle-aged is it lasts so long.
257
00:18:20,916 --> 00:18:24,079
- Perhaps this will help, madam.
- Oh, thanks a lot.
258
00:18:24,253 --> 00:18:25,914
This isn't exactly a pleasure trip.
259
00:18:26,088 --> 00:18:27,954
If you really wanna
know the truth, I'm in exile.
260
00:18:28,123 --> 00:18:29,852
The boss' wife.
261
00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:32,050
"Hot Lips" Hannah?
262
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,757
- Monsieur?
- Scotch?
263
00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:38,328
Well, they're drinking in New York.
264
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:41,629
Un Scotch et une 7 UP.
265
00:18:41,804 --> 00:18:43,397
Harry, you ever feel
absolutely useless?
266
00:18:43,572 --> 00:18:45,472
Every morning when I get out
of the shower.
267
00:18:45,641 --> 00:18:47,473
Unfortunately,
I got a full-length mirror.
268
00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:49,577
- Yeah, well, at least you face it.
- Who faces?
269
00:18:49,745 --> 00:18:52,271
No, but, I mean, who am I fooling?
I ain't no global thinker.
270
00:18:52,448 --> 00:18:54,883
I'm just a bright boy from Texas
going to write the greatest play
271
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:57,246
the world ever saw.
I never got past the third page.
272
00:18:57,419 --> 00:19:01,720
I got to page four.
Then my typing finger got tired.
273
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,689
After that I was gonna write
the world's greatest column.
274
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:07,261
You read it lately? Neither have I.
275
00:19:07,429 --> 00:19:09,659
Then I took up blonds for an excuse.
276
00:19:09,832 --> 00:19:12,301
A new one every week.
Sometimes four, sometimes six.
277
00:19:12,601 --> 00:19:15,002
- You know what that's a sign of?
- Stamina?
278
00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:19,471
No, loneliness. Deep, mixed-up,
cotton-picking loneliness.
279
00:19:19,808 --> 00:19:22,038
Maybe you could teach me
to be lonely too.
280
00:19:22,211 --> 00:19:24,145
Pick a different cotton every week.
281
00:19:24,379 --> 00:19:26,108
I'm telling you, boy,
I gotta get on the stick.
282
00:19:26,281 --> 00:19:27,510
I gotta come up
with something
283
00:19:27,683 --> 00:19:31,313
that's gonna be so far-out that, well,
they'll have to start shining up
284
00:19:31,487 --> 00:19:33,478
the Pulitzer prize and ordering me
back to New York
285
00:19:33,655 --> 00:19:34,679
on a chartered rose petal.
286
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,415
Bon voyage.
287
00:19:37,993 --> 00:19:41,293
Now, you, you've been working here
in Paris. Now, how do you get a...
288
00:19:41,463 --> 00:19:44,592
An interview with somebody
in the French cabinet?
289
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,269
- Or the old boy at the top?
- What's your angle?
290
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:48,926
I don't know.
291
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,835
Maybe his love life.
Nobody's tried that yet.
292
00:19:52,241 --> 00:19:54,903
That's good. That's very good.
293
00:19:55,077 --> 00:19:58,877
Then you can write your experiences
as the first American to be guillotined.
294
00:19:59,047 --> 00:20:01,379
- Olé.
- Frére Jacques.
295
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:03,746
I think I'll take you to Lanvin
this afternoon.
296
00:20:03,919 --> 00:20:07,446
Tomorrow to Dior. He's one
of the best. Then St. Laurent--
297
00:20:07,656 --> 00:20:10,023
Oh, you mustn't mention
that you've been to the other houses.
298
00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:15,289
It's absolutely a civil war. Why,
you have to have passports to get in.
299
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,956
It's so exciting.
300
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,397
You can dress in leopard
from top to bottom.
301
00:20:20,569 --> 00:20:24,369
And what woman doesn't want to have
a leopard bottom? And Pierre Cardin...
302
00:20:24,573 --> 00:20:26,837
- Who's that?
- I don't know.
303
00:20:27,009 --> 00:20:29,501
Some dame I met in the men's room.
304
00:20:33,115 --> 00:20:35,743
Why not? This is Paris.
305
00:20:38,287 --> 00:20:40,722
Paris isn't the Eiffel Tower...
306
00:20:41,723 --> 00:20:44,055
...the Arc de Triomphe...
307
00:20:45,127 --> 00:20:47,255
...or the Sacré Coeur.
308
00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:50,558
This is Paris.
309
00:20:50,732 --> 00:20:53,929
How'd you like to take
a sightseeing bus around that?
310
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:22,058
Numéro vingt-quatre.
Robe de cocktail. Ombrée.
311
00:21:22,231 --> 00:21:26,998
Number 24. Cocktail gown.
Ombré, brown ostrich.
312
00:21:38,614 --> 00:21:40,708
Of course, you could never
sit down in it.
313
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:43,181
You'd look like you are
sitting on your nest.
314
00:21:43,352 --> 00:21:46,287
- But it is rather charming, isn't it?
- Not to me.
315
00:21:46,455 --> 00:21:50,085
It reminds me of the two years
I spent as a chicken-plucker.
316
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:54,522
Numéro vingt-cinq. Robe du soir
et manteau. Rouge Goya.
317
00:21:54,696 --> 00:22:00,863
Number 25. Evening gown
and cape. Goya red.
318
00:22:11,847 --> 00:22:14,043
Nice little housedress.
319
00:22:14,483 --> 00:22:17,009
Not very practical. You're liable
to get those sleeves
320
00:22:17,185 --> 00:22:19,813
caught in the garbage disposal.
321
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:26,020
Number 27. Dinner suit.
Brocade and mink.
322
00:22:30,365 --> 00:22:33,801
- So how much are they already?
- Oh, the French are very wise.
323
00:22:33,969 --> 00:22:35,994
They never quote prices in public.
324
00:22:36,171 --> 00:22:41,268
The price of this dress
is about $2,000.
325
00:22:42,044 --> 00:22:43,739
Sam.
326
00:22:44,246 --> 00:22:48,843
I figure in rayon and rabbit fur,
we can do it for about $89.95.
327
00:22:49,017 --> 00:22:50,917
Remember good.
328
00:22:56,892 --> 00:22:59,827
There was another showing in Paris
that Harry and I attended.
329
00:22:59,995 --> 00:23:02,089
We were working too, of course.
330
00:23:02,264 --> 00:23:04,358
I wanted desperately to get that
interview with someone
331
00:23:04,533 --> 00:23:07,093
in the French cabinet,
or the old boy at the top.
332
00:23:07,269 --> 00:23:11,331
We looked for him everyplace.
333
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:28,783
To each his own.
334
00:25:25,474 --> 00:25:27,602
You lost her.
335
00:25:29,711 --> 00:25:31,440
The stuff from the boutiques
looks just as good
336
00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:33,377
as those expensive originals.
I don't know why
337
00:25:33,548 --> 00:25:34,606
we don't get more of them.
338
00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:38,014
Darling, no woman buys
a Paris gown to save money.
339
00:25:38,186 --> 00:25:40,086
Unless, of course, she's in love
with her husband.
340
00:25:40,255 --> 00:25:41,745
And then why bother?
341
00:25:41,923 --> 00:25:45,120
Comes to about $42 a dozen.
342
00:25:45,293 --> 00:25:46,852
- Madam?
- Merci.
343
00:25:47,028 --> 00:25:50,521
You know, the hats
are divine this season.
344
00:25:54,202 --> 00:25:56,466
- What did you wanna do that for?
- I couldn't resist it.
345
00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:58,037
The last guy that bowed to me
346
00:25:58,206 --> 00:26:01,005
was playing King Arthur
in the fourth grade.
347
00:26:01,176 --> 00:26:02,701
I was Lady Guinevere.
348
00:26:02,878 --> 00:26:05,779
So, Lady Guinevere, how are you
coming with the brassieres?
349
00:26:05,947 --> 00:26:08,348
Fine. But come on up here
and take a look.
350
00:26:08,717 --> 00:26:12,153
All these French sizes
are marked different.
351
00:26:12,587 --> 00:26:15,113
This one says size 86.
352
00:26:15,290 --> 00:26:18,521
Now, would you believe it? How you
gonna convert that into inches?
353
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,719
It might help you to know
that I wear a size 90.
354
00:26:22,898 --> 00:26:24,696
It helps a lot.
355
00:26:24,866 --> 00:26:28,234
I found a wonderful place here
to get sponge rubber.
356
00:26:28,403 --> 00:26:29,564
Everybody goes there.
357
00:26:30,205 --> 00:26:31,900
Mr. Bergner?
358
00:26:32,073 --> 00:26:34,064
I don't know whether you think
it's illegal to pay
359
00:26:34,242 --> 00:26:36,404
- for something you can steal.
- Sure, it's illegal.
360
00:26:36,578 --> 00:26:38,307
But I'm not sure. It might be better
361
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,278
to buy some of those
Paris originals, huh?
362
00:26:40,448 --> 00:26:41,882
- Buy?
- Yeah.
363
00:26:42,050 --> 00:26:44,280
That's right. You can copy them
much easier that way.
364
00:26:44,452 --> 00:26:46,944
Everyone does it.
They sell you the rights.
365
00:26:47,122 --> 00:26:51,753
Now, Mr. Bergner, isn't your money
just as good as Saks' or Magnins'?
366
00:26:51,927 --> 00:26:55,522
Sure, it's as good. That's why I wanna
keep it in the bank where it belongs.
367
00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:57,791
What do you think, Lina?
368
00:26:57,966 --> 00:26:59,593
Ninety?
369
00:26:59,768 --> 00:27:02,567
Centimeters, darling.
370
00:27:03,238 --> 00:27:05,002
I said, what do you think?
371
00:27:05,173 --> 00:27:07,665
I think it's a wonderful night.
372
00:27:08,009 --> 00:27:10,842
How'd you like to buy me a bowl
of onion soup and a cheese Danish?
373
00:27:11,012 --> 00:27:12,707
Onion soup, 1:00 in the morning?
374
00:27:12,881 --> 00:27:15,714
If I'm gonna get indigestion,
I'd like to get it at a decent hour.
375
00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:18,080
Come over here and take a look.
376
00:27:18,553 --> 00:27:21,454
- Somebody left their shade up?
- Look at that.
377
00:27:22,290 --> 00:27:25,089
The Champs-Elysées.
378
00:27:25,260 --> 00:27:27,820
The heart of Paris.
379
00:27:27,996 --> 00:27:31,125
The most beautiful city in the world.
380
00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:36,334
It's like a dress you couldn't copy
with the best cutters
381
00:27:36,504 --> 00:27:37,994
on 34th Street...
382
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:44,677
...covered from top to bottom
with 10,000 sparkling lights.
383
00:27:44,946 --> 00:27:50,043
Like some tailor was crazy and sewed
the whole thing over with diamonds.
384
00:27:50,685 --> 00:27:52,380
Normal. Maybe it's just brain damage.
385
00:27:52,554 --> 00:27:56,184
Or perhaps we've all been working
a little too hard.
386
00:27:56,358 --> 00:27:58,417
I know a charming bistro
in the Montmartre,
387
00:27:58,593 --> 00:28:01,187
where the onion soup is not
going to give you indigestion.
388
00:28:01,363 --> 00:28:02,728
It's made with champagne.
389
00:28:02,897 --> 00:28:04,592
Would they serve it
without the onions?
390
00:28:04,766 --> 00:28:08,669
Why, that's the best way!
And there is music and singing.
391
00:28:08,837 --> 00:28:12,467
And when the proprietor is in
the mood, the tables are pushed back,
392
00:28:12,641 --> 00:28:16,202
and everyone makes the twist.
It's so French.
393
00:28:16,378 --> 00:28:18,107
It sounds great. Come on.
394
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,908
It'll do us good to knock off early
and have a little fun.
395
00:28:21,082 --> 00:28:23,141
Glad you thought of it.
Sam, get your coat.
396
00:28:23,318 --> 00:28:25,980
No, thank you, Mr. Bergner.
Somebody's gotta do the invoices.
397
00:28:26,154 --> 00:28:27,747
How about you? Onion soup?
398
00:28:27,922 --> 00:28:30,789
I'm tired. I think I got
a little touch of brain damage.
399
00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:33,291
Well, suit yourself.
Looks like you're stuck with me.
400
00:28:33,461 --> 00:28:35,691
Oh, I don't think I mind at all.
401
00:28:35,864 --> 00:28:39,095
You know, most Americans don't
know how to enjoy themselves.
402
00:28:39,267 --> 00:28:42,669
In Europe, we learned
how to let ourselves go.
403
00:28:42,837 --> 00:28:44,999
That's why all wars begin here.
404
00:28:45,173 --> 00:28:48,234
- Well, off to the battle.
- Darling, can you make the twist?
405
00:28:48,410 --> 00:28:52,745
- Can I make the twist?
- Why, not bad at all. Come on.
406
00:28:54,082 --> 00:28:56,881
I knew she wasn't all done up
like that just to take inventory.
407
00:28:57,052 --> 00:28:59,020
You should have gone along
to protect him.
408
00:28:59,187 --> 00:29:02,589
Got nothing to wear
but that old sequin dress.
409
00:29:02,791 --> 00:29:05,488
Like some tailor was crazy
410
00:29:05,660 --> 00:29:09,460
and sewed the whole thing over
with broken glass.
411
00:29:13,902 --> 00:29:17,532
I found an apartment
in the shadow of the Sacré Coeur,
412
00:29:17,706 --> 00:29:19,435
and was beginning to enjoy my exile
413
00:29:19,607 --> 00:29:24,010
when Harry came rushing at top
speed, for him, across the square
414
00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:27,240
that has launched generations
of immortal artists,
415
00:29:27,415 --> 00:29:30,942
all painting the same
immortal painting.
416
00:29:34,322 --> 00:29:37,519
Everybody's talking about it.
I ran as fast as I could.
417
00:29:37,692 --> 00:29:40,957
- What do you mean, I'm fired?
- I just came from the office.
418
00:29:41,129 --> 00:29:43,655
Communiqué from the boss.
Chalmers.
419
00:29:43,832 --> 00:29:45,630
You've been given
your two weeks' notice.
420
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,701
- What?
- Quote. Unquote.
421
00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:52,170
But don't worry, they did it to Louis
the XVI, and he came back, didn't he?
422
00:29:52,340 --> 00:29:54,069
- Or did he?
- He can't do it.
423
00:29:54,242 --> 00:29:56,438
I got the best lawyer in the States
to draw that contract.
424
00:29:56,611 --> 00:29:59,308
- It's got three more years to run.
- Looks like he found a loophole.
425
00:29:59,481 --> 00:30:03,042
- How could he?
- He hired your lawyer to look for it.
426
00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:04,879
That is un-American.
427
00:30:05,286 --> 00:30:07,846
- You going back home?
- You bet I'm not. I've been working.
428
00:30:08,022 --> 00:30:10,457
I've got two weeks to show
that charcoal-gray fink
429
00:30:10,625 --> 00:30:13,492
that he's throwing away the great
white hope of American journalism.
430
00:30:13,661 --> 00:30:16,096
He'll be begging me to sign up again.
431
00:30:16,264 --> 00:30:18,164
When I dream it,
he has tears in his eyes,
432
00:30:18,333 --> 00:30:19,801
and he's throwing hundred-dollar bills.
433
00:30:19,968 --> 00:30:21,595
- Come here.
- But I never catch them.
434
00:30:21,770 --> 00:30:24,137
I've been up all night, pounding
out a new idea for the column.
435
00:30:24,305 --> 00:30:26,535
- All night?
- Yeah, read it.
436
00:30:27,308 --> 00:30:30,107
Dateline, Montmartre.
437
00:30:32,580 --> 00:30:34,275
Bébé.
438
00:30:34,449 --> 00:30:35,439
Good morning.
439
00:30:46,895 --> 00:30:49,091
Au revoir, bébé.
440
00:30:50,698 --> 00:30:53,861
Actually, you can say that again.
441
00:30:54,269 --> 00:30:57,671
Au revoir, bébé.
442
00:31:12,854 --> 00:31:15,380
Au revoir, bébé.
443
00:31:16,324 --> 00:31:18,190
Do I know you?
444
00:31:20,862 --> 00:31:21,886
Mais certainement.
445
00:31:22,063 --> 00:31:25,033
Oh, of course.
I didn't recognize you dry.
446
00:31:32,707 --> 00:31:34,368
Au revoir.
447
00:31:34,676 --> 00:31:39,773
One thing. You've got your nose
to the grindstone every minute.
448
00:31:39,948 --> 00:31:42,246
Come on, read it, I want your opinion.
449
00:31:42,417 --> 00:31:43,885
Qk8Y-
450
00:31:44,385 --> 00:31:48,015
"Dateline, Montmartre.
Here in a garret--"
451
00:31:48,723 --> 00:31:52,353
- Get with it.
- "Overlooking the 'trumbled'--
452
00:31:52,527 --> 00:31:54,723
The tumbled rooftops..."
453
00:31:55,096 --> 00:31:57,224
You're gonna laugh,
but this writing is so shaky
454
00:31:57,398 --> 00:31:58,957
it looks like you wrote with a quill pen.
455
00:31:59,501 --> 00:32:04,962
"That still house the ghosts
of Montaigne and Baudelaire,
456
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,471
I found a certain enchantment
that is..."
457
00:32:11,112 --> 00:32:12,546
Come on.
458
00:32:12,714 --> 00:32:16,150
- Where we going?
- To get a typewriter and a desk.
459
00:32:16,317 --> 00:32:18,217
Oh, good idea.
460
00:32:19,587 --> 00:32:21,419
Although...
461
00:32:22,924 --> 00:32:25,916
...there's a lot to be said
for Granddaddy's way.
462
00:32:26,494 --> 00:32:28,292
Baby.
463
00:32:47,115 --> 00:32:52,076
I've been exhaling for an hour
and a half. Nothing zips.
464
00:32:54,222 --> 00:32:56,623
Here, let me. Come on over
by the mirror.
465
00:32:56,791 --> 00:32:59,192
Made up my mind I was
gonna look sexy tonight
466
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,330
even if the whole town
run out of sponge rubber.
467
00:33:02,630 --> 00:33:04,724
All right, so inhale.
468
00:33:04,899 --> 00:33:08,267
- Boy, what is that perfume?
- "My Sin." I hope it's a prediction.
469
00:33:08,436 --> 00:33:10,768
- Are you gonna go outwith Joe?
- That schlemiel?
470
00:33:11,172 --> 00:33:13,402
Him and his French poodle
are out onion-souping again.
471
00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,134
You can inhale.
472
00:33:15,310 --> 00:33:20,043
So who are you going outwith?
Come on, you can tell me.
473
00:33:20,248 --> 00:33:21,238
A handsome Frenchman.
474
00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:22,713
- Count, maybe.
- No kidding!
475
00:33:22,884 --> 00:33:27,048
Or Charles Boyer or an American
millionaire or Adlai Stevenson
476
00:33:27,221 --> 00:33:29,485
- or a taxi driver or a street cleaner--
- All right.
477
00:33:29,657 --> 00:33:31,625
I hope he does get indigestion.
478
00:33:31,793 --> 00:33:33,887
Throw something on
and come along.
479
00:33:34,062 --> 00:33:37,157
There's a moon out tonight that looks
just like a Spanish omelet.
480
00:33:37,332 --> 00:33:38,959
We'll paint the town.
481
00:33:39,133 --> 00:33:41,227
No, I gotta get those invoices out.
482
00:33:41,769 --> 00:33:44,795
Then I thought maybe I might go out
and sketch some shop windows.
483
00:33:44,973 --> 00:33:46,737
- Want a cigarette?
- No, thanks.
484
00:33:46,908 --> 00:33:49,138
- What's the matter with you, Sam?
- What do you mean?
485
00:33:49,310 --> 00:33:51,972
Well, with me there's some excuse.
But you?
486
00:33:52,146 --> 00:33:54,114
This is Paris.
487
00:33:55,116 --> 00:33:57,448
Take a look outside.
488
00:33:58,286 --> 00:34:04,589
This isn't a city. It's a great big
114 square miles of love potion.
489
00:34:04,759 --> 00:34:07,126
And a girl should take advantage.
490
00:34:07,562 --> 00:34:10,156
Thank you. I tried it once
and no, thank you.
491
00:34:10,331 --> 00:34:13,562
- Once? With you that's a career?
- Yeah, that's a career.
492
00:34:14,335 --> 00:34:17,999
Listen, I was in love once.
Very much in love.
493
00:34:18,272 --> 00:34:21,264
And I got kicked right in the stomach.
494
00:34:21,442 --> 00:34:24,844
So I decided then and there that
I'd show them all I don't need them.
495
00:34:25,013 --> 00:34:27,311
All the men I can live without.
496
00:34:27,649 --> 00:34:30,778
Maybe someday, when I've really
made something of myself,
497
00:34:30,952 --> 00:34:32,511
then I'll think about getting married.
498
00:34:32,687 --> 00:34:34,587
Married? Who's talking married?
I was married once.
499
00:34:34,756 --> 00:34:38,056
It just convinced me that there must
be something more to sex than that.
500
00:34:38,226 --> 00:34:41,753
Listen, I think you'd better run along.
That perfume may wear off.
501
00:34:42,096 --> 00:34:44,121
I got no place to go.
502
00:34:44,298 --> 00:34:49,327
I was going for a ride in the park in one
of those horse and carriages, alone.
503
00:34:49,504 --> 00:34:53,099
I figured no girl should come to Paris
without riding in the park.
504
00:34:53,274 --> 00:34:55,766
Listen, you'll probably meet somebody
very nice in the lobby.
505
00:34:55,943 --> 00:34:58,071
That dress does wonders for you.
506
00:34:58,246 --> 00:35:02,581
Don't let's kid ourselves.
I wanna get married again, Sam.
507
00:35:03,351 --> 00:35:07,185
It was the best I ever knew.
All the rest is nothing.
508
00:35:07,555 --> 00:35:09,353
You ought to get married too.
How old are you?
509
00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:13,290
- Never mind.
- "Never mind" is already enough.
510
00:35:13,461 --> 00:35:15,293
You know the Daily News building
in New York?
511
00:35:15,463 --> 00:35:16,862
Yeah.
512
00:35:17,031 --> 00:35:20,661
Right over the entrance, next to
the clock, cut right in the stone,
513
00:35:20,835 --> 00:35:23,805
it says,
"It is later than you think."
514
00:35:23,971 --> 00:35:27,601
Ever since I saw it there,
I only buy the Herald-Tribune.
515
00:35:27,775 --> 00:35:29,937
But it hasn't helped.
516
00:35:31,012 --> 00:35:34,573
If you wanna borrow some of
this perfume, you're welcome.
517
00:35:34,749 --> 00:35:36,979
But it doesn't young you any.
518
00:35:50,465 --> 00:35:53,264
That night it looked like rain.
I didn't wanna catch cold,
519
00:35:53,434 --> 00:35:55,960
so I called Suzanne to come over
with her umbrella.
520
00:35:56,137 --> 00:35:59,573
She brought a friend,
to prevent pneumonia.
521
00:36:02,176 --> 00:36:05,111
We spent the whole evening
avoiding infection.
522
00:36:05,279 --> 00:36:07,873
Doctor Kildare would have been
proud of us,
523
00:36:08,049 --> 00:36:12,350
and of all the others in Paris who
joined us in the good fight.
524
00:37:07,341 --> 00:37:11,300
Pardon. Have you a match?
525
00:37:21,589 --> 00:37:24,752
Sacre bleul Mon dieu!
526
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,978
Hey, cab. I want a cab.
527
00:37:48,149 --> 00:37:50,413
- Bonsoir, madame.
- Yeah. No, I'm on the town tonight.
528
00:37:50,585 --> 00:37:52,519
I wanna sit up there.
How much is this gonna cost?
529
00:37:52,687 --> 00:37:54,416
- Quinze francs.
- What's that? Three bucks?
530
00:37:54,589 --> 00:37:56,523
- Yes, three bucks.
- Okay, let's go.
531
00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:58,420
- Alphonse.
- If you don't mind, I get nervous
532
00:37:58,593 --> 00:38:02,291
when anybody else drives.
Come on, let's go.
533
00:38:30,591 --> 00:38:33,083
Take us straight to jail.
It'll save time.
534
00:39:57,144 --> 00:40:03,516
I think somewhere in the Bible it says
that virtue is its own reward.
535
00:40:04,118 --> 00:40:07,577
For the rest of us,
it's Bromo-Seltzer.
536
00:40:54,368 --> 00:40:57,668
There's another proverb
that I picked up somewhere.
537
00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:01,869
"There is no sleep like the sleep
of the innocent,
538
00:41:02,043 --> 00:41:06,002
while the wicked will never
find rest. "
539
00:41:09,817 --> 00:41:12,843
I must have done something
very good once in my life.
540
00:41:13,020 --> 00:41:16,217
But it must have been before
my voice changed.
541
00:41:22,830 --> 00:41:25,458
This is the Festival of Saint Catherine,
the patron saint
542
00:41:25,633 --> 00:41:27,294
of all unmarried girls who work
in the dress shops.
543
00:41:28,803 --> 00:41:33,172
All of the fashion salons throw parties.
The girls dance with each other.
544
00:41:33,340 --> 00:41:36,867
And for a few frantic hours,
Paris is no man's land.
545
00:41:37,044 --> 00:41:38,739
It's enough to break your heart.
546
00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:42,406
Today, Paris belongs to the salesgirls
and the models.
547
00:41:42,583 --> 00:41:46,315
All the shops are closed and all the
salons, in honor of St. Catherine.
548
00:41:46,487 --> 00:41:49,081
Oh, here you are, darling.
The best actors entertain,
549
00:41:49,256 --> 00:41:51,054
and the champagne is free.
550
00:41:51,225 --> 00:41:54,320
And all the girls keep drinking till all the
other girls begin to look like boys?
551
00:41:54,495 --> 00:41:57,521
No, no, darling.
This is a religious holiday.
552
00:42:01,335 --> 00:42:03,133
- Amen.
- You see, darling,
553
00:42:03,304 --> 00:42:07,502
all these girls are looking
for husbands, like I am.
554
00:42:07,675 --> 00:42:09,609
Like you are.
555
00:42:09,777 --> 00:42:13,907
May the best girl win. Good luck.
556
00:42:14,748 --> 00:42:18,514
Why did you have to turn out
to be likable?
557
00:42:18,686 --> 00:42:21,212
I like you too.
558
00:42:21,388 --> 00:42:26,189
- Shall we dance?
- I'll be delighted.
559
00:42:29,430 --> 00:42:31,956
Now I've seen everything.
560
00:42:43,511 --> 00:42:45,570
Mesdames, messieurs.
561
00:42:46,247 --> 00:42:49,979
For our friends who do not
speak French, I will explain.
562
00:42:50,317 --> 00:42:54,311
This fete began over
1,000 years ago,
563
00:42:54,488 --> 00:42:57,355
when I was just a small boy.
564
00:42:58,459 --> 00:43:00,826
And these strange hats--
565
00:43:00,995 --> 00:43:04,124
Well, they must be worn by all
the young ladies
566
00:43:04,298 --> 00:43:08,292
who are over 25 and unmarried.
567
00:43:08,702 --> 00:43:10,500
You are over 25?
568
00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:13,834
I love Paris. It's so insincere.
569
00:43:15,309 --> 00:43:16,572
Thank you.
570
00:43:16,744 --> 00:43:20,374
Now, St. Catherine insists, of course,
that these ladies
571
00:43:20,548 --> 00:43:26,214
must be unspoiled, untouched,
virgin.
572
00:43:30,558 --> 00:43:32,287
But wait, wait.
573
00:43:32,459 --> 00:43:35,360
We are all, in France, gentlemen.
574
00:43:35,529 --> 00:43:38,863
And any young lady
who is 25 years old,
575
00:43:39,033 --> 00:43:44,472
and she's not married, well, naturally,
we will take your word for it.
576
00:43:44,638 --> 00:43:47,335
Vive Ia France!
577
00:43:49,076 --> 00:43:52,171
Now, now, all of you young ladies
578
00:43:52,346 --> 00:43:56,476
will go to place flowers on the shrine
of St. Catherine.
579
00:43:56,650 --> 00:43:58,948
And you will make your wish
for a husband.
580
00:43:59,119 --> 00:44:02,248
Hey, hey. Hey. Suppose a girl
doesn't want a husband?
581
00:44:02,423 --> 00:44:05,051
Or a romance, or anything?
582
00:44:05,526 --> 00:44:08,860
This is a day of love, mademoiselle.
583
00:44:09,029 --> 00:44:11,896
And love, whatever you may think,
at least in Paris,
584
00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:15,696
is becoming very popular.
585
00:44:16,470 --> 00:44:18,734
So let me tell you a little about it,
586
00:44:18,906 --> 00:44:21,739
to say as well as I can remember it.
587
00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:25,209
And you know, mademoiselle,
I remember it well.
588
00:44:25,379 --> 00:44:28,974
When you have anything as lovely
to remember,
589
00:44:29,149 --> 00:44:32,983
when you are my age, as Mimi.
590
00:44:33,153 --> 00:44:38,284
You funny, little, good-for-nothing Mimi
Am I the guy?
591
00:44:38,459 --> 00:44:41,827
You see? Everyone else
remembers.
592
00:44:43,464 --> 00:44:46,456
Mimi, Gigi, Valentine.
593
00:44:46,867 --> 00:44:49,359
I assure you, my stubborn friend.
594
00:44:49,770 --> 00:44:56,005
If I had my life to live over again,
I wouldn't have the strength.
595
00:44:57,878 --> 00:45:01,872
But you. You are young.
You are beautiful.
596
00:45:02,116 --> 00:45:05,950
You haunt me all day through
597
00:45:06,153 --> 00:45:09,646
Every little breeze
Seems to whisper "Louise"
598
00:45:09,823 --> 00:45:13,225
Birds in the trees
Seem to twitter "Louise"
599
00:45:13,394 --> 00:45:16,420
Each little rose
Tells me it knows
600
00:45:16,597 --> 00:45:20,431
I love you, love you
601
00:45:20,601 --> 00:45:23,798
Every little beat
That I feel in my heart
602
00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:25,700
- I think I'll get down now.
- Seems to repeat
603
00:45:25,873 --> 00:45:29,366
What I felt at the start
Each little sigh
604
00:45:29,543 --> 00:45:32,808
Tells me that I adore you
605
00:45:32,980 --> 00:45:35,312
- Louise
- My name's Sam.
606
00:45:35,482 --> 00:45:40,420
Just to see and hear you
Brings joy I never knew
607
00:45:40,587 --> 00:45:42,646
I think it fits.
608
00:45:42,823 --> 00:45:48,626
But to be so near you
Thrills me through and through
609
00:45:49,596 --> 00:45:53,123
Anyone can see
Why I wanted your kiss
610
00:45:53,300 --> 00:45:56,702
It had to be
But the wonder is this
611
00:45:56,870 --> 00:46:01,205
Can it be true, someone like you
Could love me--?
612
00:46:01,375 --> 00:46:03,707
- No.
- Sam
613
00:46:04,812 --> 00:46:07,076
You see, I've got a problem.
614
00:46:07,247 --> 00:46:09,716
Yes, you have. But I'm sure...
615
00:46:09,883 --> 00:46:12,113
I'm sure there is someone,
somewhere,
616
00:46:12,286 --> 00:46:14,084
who is waiting to tell you:
617
00:46:15,522 --> 00:46:19,117
If the nightingales
Could sing like you
618
00:46:19,293 --> 00:46:22,593
They'd sing much sweeter
Than they do
619
00:46:22,763 --> 00:46:27,997
For you brought
A new kind of love to me.
620
00:46:29,503 --> 00:46:33,235
Quandje vous regarde avec ferveur
621
00:46:33,407 --> 00:46:36,570
J'en éprouve tant de douceur
622
00:46:36,744 --> 00:46:41,910
For you've brought
A new kind of love to me
623
00:46:42,750 --> 00:46:47,347
Je ressens prés de vous
Tant d'émoi
624
00:46:47,521 --> 00:46:52,823
Que je n'suis plus maitre de moi
Je sais tout nous sépare
625
00:46:52,993 --> 00:46:57,726
Et pourtantje pense 3 vous
Tout Ie temps
626
00:46:57,898 --> 00:47:01,630
I would work and slave
The whole day through
627
00:47:01,802 --> 00:47:04,931
If I could hurry home to you
628
00:47:05,105 --> 00:47:10,839
Oh, you've brought
A new kind of love to me
629
00:47:16,717 --> 00:47:19,345
Thanks. Le chapeau, s'il vous plait.
630
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,319
If you will put on this hat,
Mademoiselle Sam,
631
00:47:22,489 --> 00:47:27,222
and if you will place your problem
in the hands of St. Catherine,
632
00:47:27,394 --> 00:47:30,261
and if you will, in short,
open your heart,
633
00:47:30,431 --> 00:47:33,457
I'm sure that you will find here,
in Paris,
634
00:47:33,634 --> 00:47:36,763
someone who will change your
mind about love.
635
00:47:36,937 --> 00:47:39,531
Because in Paris:
636
00:47:39,706 --> 00:47:43,108
Every bird has a mate
Every poodle has a date
637
00:47:43,277 --> 00:47:46,645
In the park in Paree in the spring
638
00:47:46,814 --> 00:47:50,250
Every duck, every fish
Seems to get his every wish
639
00:47:50,417 --> 00:47:53,387
In the park in Paree in the spring
640
00:47:53,987 --> 00:47:56,979
Each lover and his love discover
641
00:47:57,157 --> 00:48:00,684
Nature is a wonderful thing
642
00:48:01,061 --> 00:48:05,726
And they all want to be in the park
In Paree in the spring
643
00:48:06,233 --> 00:48:08,224
Come on!
644
00:48:51,578 --> 00:48:53,672
There's a policeman.
645
00:48:53,847 --> 00:48:56,782
You know, I've never kissed a
policeman in my whole life.
646
00:48:56,950 --> 00:48:59,044
No wonder I'm emotionally retarded.
647
00:48:59,219 --> 00:49:01,449
A votre service, mais je vous en prie.
648
00:49:01,622 --> 00:49:04,057
Oh, that's a good idea.
Let's get a policeman for Lina too.
649
00:49:04,224 --> 00:49:06,750
I don't want any. Let's put this
kid on a leash.
650
00:49:06,927 --> 00:49:09,294
She's never been looped before.
651
00:49:09,463 --> 00:49:11,932
You know, I'll bet there are a lot
of semi-maidens in this group.
652
00:49:12,099 --> 00:49:14,329
- You bet.
- And a lot of semi-semi-maidens.
653
00:49:14,501 --> 00:49:16,401
And semi-semi-semi-maidens.
654
00:49:16,570 --> 00:49:19,335
In fact, I'll bet there are a lot of girls
with no control at all.
655
00:49:19,506 --> 00:49:22,703
- Welcome to the club.
- Come on.
656
00:49:26,947 --> 00:49:29,109
What you gonna do with that?
Launch the Eiffel Tower?
657
00:49:29,283 --> 00:49:31,581
I'm gonna help those girls refuel,
get myself a story
658
00:49:31,752 --> 00:49:33,117
and a book full of telephone
numbers.
659
00:49:33,287 --> 00:49:35,346
Hey, you can't go out there.
It's a rule.
660
00:49:35,522 --> 00:49:39,049
Except for the cops, only girls over 25
are allowed in the parade.
661
00:49:39,226 --> 00:49:43,094
- And they have to be maidens.
- I'll fake it.
662
00:49:45,966 --> 00:49:50,460
Champagne. Champagne.
What's the matter? What?
663
00:49:52,172 --> 00:49:54,163
Champagne.
664
00:49:56,143 --> 00:49:57,474
Give me back my bottle.
665
00:49:57,644 --> 00:50:00,170
No, you don't understand.
I represent the CIA.
666
00:50:00,347 --> 00:50:02,509
No, I'm a maiden too.
667
00:50:07,654 --> 00:50:09,019
Are you hurt?
668
00:50:09,189 --> 00:50:12,284
I'm confused. I didn't know the
Green Bay Packers were in town.
669
00:50:12,459 --> 00:50:16,157
You put up a good fight.
I'm proud of you.
670
00:50:16,330 --> 00:50:18,765
Say, haven't I seen you
someplace before?
671
00:50:18,932 --> 00:50:21,833
- I don't know.
- Oh, yes, on the plane.
672
00:50:22,002 --> 00:50:23,936
Come on, I'll buy you a drink.
673
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,101
Et maintenant, mesdames
et messieurs.
674
00:50:28,275 --> 00:50:31,609
Apres Ies messes au Madeleine et
Notre-Dame de Bonne Nouvelle,
675
00:50:31,778 --> 00:50:34,179
- Ies Catherinettes marchent...
- I can't look at them any more.
676
00:50:34,348 --> 00:50:36,214
All these middle-aged girls
looking for husbands.
677
00:50:36,383 --> 00:50:37,680
I might as well be in Miami Beach.
678
00:50:37,851 --> 00:50:41,310
Jake. Nous voulons Ie
businessman's lunch.
679
00:50:41,488 --> 00:50:42,956
And be sure the corned beef
is lean.
680
00:50:43,123 --> 00:50:45,854
Un moment, s'il vous plait.
My feet are killing me.
681
00:50:46,026 --> 00:50:47,653
- Merci.
- Corned beef.
682
00:50:47,828 --> 00:50:51,128
I might've known when you said this
was your favorite French restaurant.
683
00:50:51,298 --> 00:50:54,632
De gustibus non disputandum est,
as us fellas say in Latin.
684
00:50:54,801 --> 00:50:56,963
That's what I was trying to say
is wrong with your column.
685
00:50:57,137 --> 00:50:59,105
This kind of language.
Whatever it is.
686
00:50:59,272 --> 00:51:01,570
Everybody's entitled to an opinion.
You're buying the drinks.
687
00:51:01,742 --> 00:51:05,110
I was reading it this morning in the
Paris Daily American.
688
00:51:06,980 --> 00:51:09,915
Here it is.
By Steve Sherman.
689
00:51:10,083 --> 00:51:13,451
"Our president is making another
experiment in futility
690
00:51:13,620 --> 00:51:18,251
by attempting to convince
our transigent French ally
691
00:51:18,425 --> 00:51:23,761
that intransigence itself is militarily
self-hallucinatory."
692
00:51:24,197 --> 00:51:25,790
To me it makes sense.
693
00:51:25,966 --> 00:51:29,095
Listen. Who needs you to tell us
how to run our government?
694
00:51:29,269 --> 00:51:31,135
Believe me, our government's
in good hands.
695
00:51:31,304 --> 00:51:33,170
Huntley and Brinkley.
696
00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:35,206
You know something?
697
00:51:35,375 --> 00:51:37,366
Joe Bergner, of J. Bergner,
Incorporated, Fifth Avenue,
698
00:51:37,544 --> 00:51:39,945
you ain't telling me anything that
I hadn't already figured out.
699
00:51:40,113 --> 00:51:42,411
- You are absolutely right.
- Of course I'm right.
700
00:51:42,749 --> 00:51:44,183
I am no H.L. Mencken.
701
00:51:44,351 --> 00:51:46,581
Got through college because
I could kick a football a mile.
702
00:51:46,753 --> 00:51:49,586
Graduated "magna cum lager."
Who am I fooling?
703
00:51:49,990 --> 00:51:54,325
Not J. Bergner, Incorporated.
Dresses I know. Dresses I sell.
704
00:51:54,494 --> 00:51:56,360
You're a football player.
Write about football.
705
00:51:56,530 --> 00:52:00,398
Or that. You know, that's something
I'm equipped to handle. Sex.
706
00:52:01,101 --> 00:52:02,762
"They paraded through the streets
of Paris,
707
00:52:02,936 --> 00:52:04,836
the unwed maidens in search
of husbands.
708
00:52:05,005 --> 00:52:07,440
The city quivered with unfulfilled
desire.
709
00:52:07,607 --> 00:52:09,701
And as night fell on this
capital of love,
710
00:52:09,876 --> 00:52:14,006
almost every girl had been--"
Continued tomorrow.
711
00:52:14,181 --> 00:52:16,172
It'll sell papers.
712
00:52:16,349 --> 00:52:19,011
Look, the girls are gonna see
St. Catherine now.
713
00:52:19,186 --> 00:52:21,848
I'll tell you one thing: any saint wants
to get me married
714
00:52:22,022 --> 00:52:24,116
will have to get up very early
in the morning.
715
00:52:24,291 --> 00:52:29,286
I'm with you. Here's to the bachelors
of the world. May our tribe increase.
716
00:52:29,463 --> 00:52:33,058
- How?
- Automation.
717
00:52:33,734 --> 00:52:37,170
Look. They're off and running.
718
00:53:16,343 --> 00:53:19,745
All right, it's true.
I'm just like all the rest.
719
00:53:19,913 --> 00:53:23,076
More than anything in the world,
I want a husband.
720
00:53:23,250 --> 00:53:24,843
Please help me.
721
00:53:25,051 --> 00:53:28,851
My dear child. Why does everyone
come to me?
722
00:53:29,022 --> 00:53:30,751
There must have been
some mistake.
723
00:53:30,924 --> 00:53:34,417
I led a very sheltered life.
I know nothing of men.
724
00:53:35,395 --> 00:53:37,261
Samantha, you're a very
sensible girl,
725
00:53:37,430 --> 00:53:39,694
but you've got too much imagination
for your own good
726
00:53:39,866 --> 00:53:42,233
and too much champagne.
I think you'd better get out of here.
727
00:53:42,402 --> 00:53:44,200
Samantha Blake.
728
00:53:44,371 --> 00:53:46,863
I will never get drunk again.
I will never get drunk again.
729
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:49,509
I will never get drunk again.
730
00:53:50,010 --> 00:53:54,174
What do you want more than
anything in the world?
731
00:53:56,583 --> 00:53:58,779
More than anything...
732
00:53:59,686 --> 00:54:02,121
...in the whole world...
733
00:54:02,289 --> 00:54:05,748
...I would like for people to stop
calling me Sam.
734
00:54:05,926 --> 00:54:08,691
Then why do you not take off
those awful dark glasses
735
00:54:08,862 --> 00:54:10,159
and comb your hair?
736
00:54:10,330 --> 00:54:14,267
Please. Tell me:
what's the matter with me?
737
00:54:14,434 --> 00:54:17,893
- How much time do we have?
- Just keep it down to the essentials.
738
00:54:18,071 --> 00:54:19,937
You must learn to face the truth,
Samantha.
739
00:54:20,106 --> 00:54:22,768
You must be ready to change
your innermost self.
740
00:54:22,943 --> 00:54:24,672
Where can I do that?
741
00:54:24,845 --> 00:54:27,780
At Elizabeth Arden 's.
7 Place Vendome.
742
00:54:28,248 --> 00:54:30,979
You know it very well.
You've passed by six times already,
743
00:54:31,151 --> 00:54:33,142
debating whether you should go in.
744
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:36,517
- You ask my advice, Samantha?
- Yes.
745
00:54:36,690 --> 00:54:41,389
Go in. Go in and stay all day.
I hope that'll be enough.
746
00:54:41,561 --> 00:54:43,655
I hope so too.
747
00:54:44,631 --> 00:54:48,192
Goodbye, Samantha. And tell the girls
to stop coming here.
748
00:54:48,368 --> 00:54:50,928
I'm sure they have the wrong saint.
749
00:54:51,104 --> 00:54:53,266
I don't think so.
750
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:57,934
I know you're just my imagination,
but thanks anyway.
751
00:55:17,597 --> 00:55:19,531
Samantha approached her first
beauty parlor
752
00:55:19,699 --> 00:55:24,535
with all the eager willingness of
a soldier facing a firing squad.
753
00:55:26,039 --> 00:55:28,133
Should she?
754
00:55:28,308 --> 00:55:30,072
Shouldn't she?
755
00:55:30,777 --> 00:55:32,404
Could they?
756
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:36,174
Couldn't they?
757
00:55:36,349 --> 00:55:40,650
And if they couldn't, were they liable
to ruin what she already had,
758
00:55:40,820 --> 00:55:42,811
if they could find it?
759
00:55:43,723 --> 00:55:46,590
It was a momentous decision.
760
00:55:59,139 --> 00:56:03,599
Once on the attack, Samantha
charged through every salon in Paris,
761
00:56:03,777 --> 00:56:07,213
trying every treatment the French
ever thought of.
762
00:56:07,380 --> 00:56:09,849
Well, almost every treatment.
763
00:56:12,619 --> 00:56:14,519
Harder.
764
00:56:20,593 --> 00:56:22,687
Harder. Harder.
765
00:57:29,929 --> 00:57:33,297
No one would ever direct her
to the men's room again.
766
00:57:56,890 --> 00:57:58,517
Bonjour, mademoiselle.
767
00:57:58,691 --> 00:58:00,489
Bonjour.
768
00:58:01,594 --> 00:58:02,925
Oh, pardon.
769
00:58:04,597 --> 00:58:06,065
S'il vous plait.
770
00:58:11,638 --> 00:58:15,006
Je veux un whisky, tout de suite.
I have to get to a soccer game.
771
00:58:15,175 --> 00:58:16,574
- Certainement.
- Le football.
772
00:58:16,743 --> 00:58:19,303
- Voila, monsieur.
- Grazie.
773
00:58:39,966 --> 00:58:41,195
Monsieur.
774
00:58:41,367 --> 00:58:44,769
Are you interested in the purchase
of some unusual photographs?
775
00:58:44,938 --> 00:58:46,531
Not of the Eiffel Tower.
776
00:58:46,706 --> 00:58:49,107
- Monsieur, your whiskey.
- Merci infiniment.
777
00:58:49,275 --> 00:58:50,606
Merci.
778
00:58:52,612 --> 00:58:55,047
I'm sorry, monsieur.
Obviously you are interested
779
00:58:55,215 --> 00:58:58,480
in something a little more
of the realistic school.
780
00:58:59,285 --> 00:59:01,982
Will you go away?
I come from a long line of hermits.
781
00:59:03,890 --> 00:59:06,757
Eh bien, Monsieur Ie Hermite,
look about you.
782
00:59:06,926 --> 00:59:09,293
All over the Champs-Elysées
783
00:59:09,462 --> 00:59:13,626
at this hour, you will find some of the
most beautiful women in the world.
784
00:59:14,834 --> 00:59:17,166
You have seen, perhaps,
their picture in the magazines.
785
00:59:17,837 --> 00:59:20,704
On the arm of an Egyptian king.
786
00:59:20,874 --> 00:59:22,603
A Greek ship owner.
787
00:59:22,775 --> 00:59:25,210
An American cinema producer.
788
00:59:26,045 --> 00:59:29,675
These are women, cold, superior,
789
00:59:29,849 --> 00:59:33,012
sophisticated, perfect.
790
00:59:33,186 --> 00:59:36,781
Their jewels are authentic.
Their clothes are authentic.
791
00:59:36,956 --> 00:59:40,119
Indeed, they are authentic all over.
792
00:59:42,762 --> 00:59:45,094
Do you mean to say
793
00:59:45,265 --> 00:59:49,259
that all this lovely smorgasbord
794
00:59:49,435 --> 00:59:51,733
- is on the menu?
- No, no, of course not.
795
00:59:51,905 --> 00:59:55,808
Only the most beautiful,
the most impossible, in your opinion.
796
00:59:55,975 --> 00:59:58,103
Believe me, I know them all.
797
00:59:58,511 --> 01:00:02,914
I wonder.
A column about this kind of sport.
798
01:00:03,082 --> 01:00:06,211
It ain't football, but everybody
wants to make the team.
799
01:00:06,953 --> 01:00:11,083
Do you think you could fix it up
so I could talk to one of these broads?
800
01:00:11,257 --> 01:00:13,248
- Talk, monsieur?
- Yeah.
801
01:00:13,426 --> 01:00:17,294
Like that lovely, innocent-looking
blond sitting over there.
802
01:00:17,463 --> 01:00:19,522
- Is she possibly--?
- An old friend.
803
01:00:19,699 --> 01:00:22,134
Of mine, and the
crown prince of Denmark.
804
01:00:22,302 --> 01:00:25,272
No kidding.
She doesn't quite look like--
805
01:00:25,438 --> 01:00:28,499
That is why I doubt
if you could afford an introduction.
806
01:00:28,675 --> 01:00:30,268
What do you mean?
I just wanna talk to her.
807
01:00:30,443 --> 01:00:33,003
She's an expensive listener,
monsieur.
808
01:00:33,179 --> 01:00:35,341
One of the most expensive.
809
01:00:35,515 --> 01:00:38,883
Why not? This is business
and I'm still on an expense account.
810
01:00:40,053 --> 01:00:43,079
Eh bien.
I will speak with her about you.
811
01:00:43,423 --> 01:00:45,824
Perhaps she is already occupied.
812
01:00:45,992 --> 01:00:48,757
Perhaps she does not care
for your appearance.
813
01:00:48,928 --> 01:00:53,991
Also, perhaps she does not wish
to be regarded as a game of football.
814
01:00:54,167 --> 01:00:57,797
- But I'll do my best.
- Fight on for USC.
815
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:02,204
Bonjour, mademoiselle.
816
01:01:02,375 --> 01:01:03,934
Bonjour.
817
01:01:04,110 --> 01:01:06,909
- Oh, you are American.
- Oh, I went to Berlitz.
818
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:10,072
Then perhaps you will have a feeling
of kindness and understanding
819
01:01:10,250 --> 01:01:12,844
for mon cher ami.
He is American also.
820
01:01:13,019 --> 01:01:14,714
Kindness?
821
01:01:14,887 --> 01:01:18,016
Two years, mademoiselle,
in a prison hospital in Algiers.
822
01:01:18,191 --> 01:01:19,784
Wounded.
823
01:01:19,959 --> 01:01:21,324
- Solitary confinement.
- Oh, no.
824
01:01:21,494 --> 01:01:22,859
Unable to be moved.
825
01:01:23,029 --> 01:01:26,988
Months after hostilities ceased,
it was impossible to secure his release.
826
01:01:27,166 --> 01:01:28,634
How terrible.
827
01:01:29,202 --> 01:01:31,136
He was my capitaine in the legion.
828
01:01:31,871 --> 01:01:35,432
He has asked me if perhaps
he might come and speak with you.
829
01:01:35,608 --> 01:01:37,474
Why didn't he come
and ask me himself?
830
01:01:37,644 --> 01:01:39,578
Oh, mademoiselle.
831
01:01:40,747 --> 01:01:43,045
You are not familiar
with war or imprisonment.
832
01:01:43,216 --> 01:01:45,310
- No.
- His mind isn't where it should be.
833
01:01:45,652 --> 01:01:48,280
He is shy, uncertain.
834
01:01:48,454 --> 01:01:51,355
All this seems strange
and terrible to him.
835
01:01:51,524 --> 01:01:53,754
These crowds, this traffic.
836
01:01:53,926 --> 01:01:56,258
And after so long, these women.
837
01:01:56,429 --> 01:01:58,796
Yeah, he must be terrified.
838
01:01:59,098 --> 01:02:01,795
He has undergone
much suffering, even torture.
839
01:02:03,503 --> 01:02:06,529
If you would look at him,
give him confidence,
840
01:02:06,706 --> 01:02:10,336
smile at him,
it would mean so much.
841
01:02:13,746 --> 01:02:17,512
You don't know what you have done
for France and America.
842
01:02:27,927 --> 01:02:31,557
Everything is arranged. It was
a little difficult about the talking only,
843
01:02:31,731 --> 01:02:33,563
but she is used to the bizarre.
844
01:02:33,733 --> 01:02:36,225
I'm sure of it.
Well, listen, thanks a lot.
845
01:02:36,402 --> 01:02:38,928
One thousand new francs,
monsieur, for two hours.
846
01:02:39,105 --> 01:02:40,504
What?
847
01:02:40,673 --> 01:02:45,133
That's $100 an hour. The president
of the United States doesn't make that.
848
01:02:45,311 --> 01:02:49,009
May I point out that they are not
in the same line of work?
849
01:02:50,483 --> 01:02:52,747
You will give me the money now.
850
01:02:52,919 --> 01:02:55,217
- The crown prince of Denmark?
- Among others.
851
01:02:55,388 --> 01:02:57,720
- You sure?
- Of course.
852
01:02:57,890 --> 01:03:01,383
I have even heard her mention--
853
01:03:01,561 --> 01:03:04,155
- A very high official in the government.
- Who?
854
01:03:04,330 --> 01:03:06,128
Who else?
855
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,396
There may be a bigger
article in this than I thought.
856
01:03:10,036 --> 01:03:13,404
- Maybe a magazine piece.
- Possibly a novel.
857
01:03:14,774 --> 01:03:17,038
Please, we better step over here
858
01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:19,702
so we do not cause
her embarrassment.
859
01:03:19,879 --> 01:03:22,211
She's very sensitive.
860
01:03:22,682 --> 01:03:24,480
She must be.
861
01:03:34,327 --> 01:03:37,092
Well, the price was pretty stiff,
but thanks a lot.
862
01:03:37,263 --> 01:03:38,526
Don't mention it.
863
01:03:38,698 --> 01:03:40,427
To anybody.
864
01:03:43,202 --> 01:03:46,137
Well, hello, hello.
How's business?
865
01:03:48,241 --> 01:03:53,077
Well, you do speak English, don't you?
I forgot to ask your sales manager.
866
01:03:54,247 --> 01:03:56,682
Honey, if you only speak French,
the deal is off.
867
01:03:56,849 --> 01:04:01,309
L-- A hundred dollars an hour,
I can't afford an interpreter.
868
01:04:01,687 --> 01:04:04,213
Parfez-vous angfais,
parce que sf vous non pan"e--
869
01:04:04,390 --> 01:04:06,085
Oh, oui, monsieur.
870
01:04:06,259 --> 01:04:09,786
Oui, I speak English very well.
871
01:04:09,962 --> 01:04:11,794
You'd be surprised.
872
01:04:11,964 --> 01:04:14,490
Oh, I am. I am, indeed.
It's amazing.
873
01:04:14,667 --> 01:04:17,762
Must be that innocent look of yours
that put you in the top income bracket.
874
01:04:17,937 --> 01:04:20,804
- Innocent?
- Oh, come on, now.
875
01:04:20,973 --> 01:04:23,965
I used to play football
with a left guard like that.
876
01:04:24,143 --> 01:04:26,043
He was one of the mildest,
nicest guys in the world
877
01:04:26,212 --> 01:04:27,771
until the ball was snapped,
then, bam.
878
01:04:27,947 --> 01:04:30,609
Two of the biggest guys in the
opposition would be flat on their tails.
879
01:04:33,553 --> 01:04:36,545
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to talk shop.
880
01:04:37,323 --> 01:04:39,724
Monsieur, let me understand.
881
01:04:39,892 --> 01:04:43,988
You have paid my,
what do you call him, my manager
882
01:04:44,163 --> 01:04:46,791
100 dollars an hour for me?
883
01:04:47,333 --> 01:04:50,667
Yep. Two solid hours.
And I plan to use every minute of it.
884
01:04:51,003 --> 01:04:53,233
Monsieur, I think there
has been a terrible error.
885
01:04:53,406 --> 01:04:54,999
Oh, no. What's the matter?
886
01:04:55,174 --> 01:04:57,472
Are you sore because
we're just gonna sit and talk?
887
01:04:57,643 --> 01:05:00,704
- Talk?
- Yeah, I thought he explained it to you.
888
01:05:00,880 --> 01:05:05,841
Oh, monsieur has been
injured in this football?
889
01:05:06,018 --> 01:05:08,783
I don't think so.
Come on, sit down.
890
01:05:08,955 --> 01:05:12,391
I'm just a newspaper man looking for
a good story, and the name is Steve.
891
01:05:12,558 --> 01:05:14,048
Yours?
892
01:05:14,227 --> 01:05:16,423
- Mimi.
- Well, of course.
893
01:05:16,596 --> 01:05:20,328
- "That funny-looking, round-heeled--"
- No, no, no.
894
01:05:20,500 --> 01:05:22,798
"That funny, little,
good-for-nothing Mimi."
895
01:05:22,969 --> 01:05:26,234
You got into this business because
the man you love betrayed you.
896
01:05:26,405 --> 01:05:29,431
No, monsieur. I just like it.
897
01:05:31,277 --> 01:05:35,908
Mimi, we're gonna get along very well.
But that accent, now, what is that?
898
01:05:37,049 --> 01:05:39,746
- What does it sound like?
- Oh, I don't know.
899
01:05:39,919 --> 01:05:43,480
Hungarian, Romanian.
Flatbush Avenue.
900
01:05:43,656 --> 01:05:46,591
Perhaps someday
I shall tell you. Just wait.
901
01:05:47,326 --> 01:05:49,795
Holy-- I'm late.
902
01:05:49,962 --> 01:05:52,454
I didn't know we were
gonna have this little conversation,
903
01:05:52,632 --> 01:05:56,967
so I made arrangements to cover this
game. We can continue our talk there.
904
01:05:57,136 --> 01:05:58,467
- Come on.
- Monsieur--
905
01:05:58,638 --> 01:06:00,868
Look, Madame Bovary, I'm late.
906
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:03,168
I don't want any arguments.
907
01:06:03,543 --> 01:06:05,705
Come on. You still owe me
an hour and 50 minutes.
908
01:06:05,878 --> 01:06:08,040
Let's keep the meter running.
909
01:06:09,448 --> 01:06:10,882
Taxi.
910
01:06:11,050 --> 01:06:13,178
Come on, baby, we're in a hurry.
911
01:06:33,706 --> 01:06:36,641
On the way in to the stadium,
Mimi told me how she'd gotten
912
01:06:36,809 --> 01:06:40,643
into her present interesting occupation.
Since she was a little girl, she said,
913
01:06:41,347 --> 01:06:44,681
she always wanted
to be just like mama.
914
01:06:48,454 --> 01:06:51,651
And another thing, how did you
happen to meet the crown prince?
915
01:06:51,824 --> 01:06:53,622
- Who?
- Now, don't play it coy.
916
01:06:53,793 --> 01:06:56,387
- You know, the crown prince.
- Which one?
917
01:06:56,562 --> 01:06:58,826
Oh, yes.
Yes, at a party, of course.
918
01:06:58,998 --> 01:07:02,628
You meet such interesting people
at parties in Paris, don't you think?
919
01:07:02,802 --> 01:07:05,965
Oh, look at the football.
920
01:07:07,673 --> 01:07:09,835
Oh, bravo.
921
01:07:10,009 --> 01:07:12,137
Merveilleux.
922
01:07:12,311 --> 01:07:15,372
Never mind about the game. I wanna
hear some more about that party.
923
01:07:15,548 --> 01:07:18,040
What? Oh, yes. Well,
924
01:07:18,217 --> 01:07:22,211
I have been to many strange ones,
monsieur, but this one--
925
01:07:22,388 --> 01:07:25,221
Have you seen the
cinema, La Dolce Vita?
926
01:07:25,391 --> 01:07:26,916
Twice.
927
01:07:27,193 --> 01:07:29,184
Well, this one,
it was not like that at all.
928
01:07:31,097 --> 01:07:34,123
You see, the prince and I,
we were to picnic alone
929
01:07:34,300 --> 01:07:36,291
in the meadow near his chateau.
930
01:07:36,469 --> 01:07:39,268
But when we arrived there,
to my surprise,
931
01:07:39,438 --> 01:07:43,306
there are many of his friends,
men, who wished to join us.
932
01:07:43,476 --> 01:07:47,310
- What was for lunch?
- Well, not what I expected.
933
01:07:48,214 --> 01:07:49,943
You see, at the time,
934
01:07:50,116 --> 01:07:54,280
I had un toussé, a cough.
935
01:07:54,453 --> 01:07:57,388
So, of course, I insist
to go back to the chateau.
936
01:07:57,556 --> 01:08:00,992
But they would not let me.
They start to run after me.
937
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:05,222
Especially the prince. Because to him,
you see, it's just a game. So...
938
01:08:05,398 --> 01:08:08,459
As I listened,
I got a crazy idea for a column.
939
01:08:08,634 --> 01:08:12,537
Mimi's amorous adventures,
transferred to the soccer field.
940
01:08:12,705 --> 01:08:14,469
What a crowd that would draw.
941
01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:19,271
Somewhere, I somehow found
the strength to stop his madness.
942
01:08:19,445 --> 01:08:22,608
Again and again,
and again and again.
943
01:09:04,590 --> 01:09:08,356
Then, monsieur, there in the meadow,
everything went black.
944
01:09:08,527 --> 01:09:10,461
Well, better luck next time.
945
01:09:10,629 --> 01:09:14,156
I don't believe a word you've told me,
but it's gonna make a hell of a column.
946
01:09:14,333 --> 01:09:17,530
"Game Time in the Meadow"
or "Mimi Makes All-American."
947
01:09:17,703 --> 01:09:21,799
Monsieur, I assure you that everything
I've told you is absolutely true.
948
01:09:21,974 --> 01:09:24,341
Can I drop you off at your hotel,
or wherever it is you stay?
949
01:09:24,510 --> 01:09:26,501
No, no, no, no.
It really isn't necessary.
950
01:09:26,679 --> 01:09:29,671
You see, it's very late, and I have
to go to another engagement.
951
01:09:29,849 --> 01:09:33,046
- In the afternoon?
- It's an elderly gentleman.
952
01:09:33,219 --> 01:09:37,178
Oh, is it the one your sales manager
told me about, in the government?
953
01:09:37,356 --> 01:09:39,791
It's not for me to say.
954
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:43,422
If you're telling the truth,
I'll drop you off there.
955
01:09:43,596 --> 01:09:46,190
- If you wish.
- That accent, French-Canadian.
956
01:09:46,365 --> 01:09:49,630
- I used to room with a hockey player.
- Oh, so did I.
957
01:09:49,802 --> 01:09:51,531
No, wait a minute. Another thing,
958
01:09:51,704 --> 01:09:55,299
nobody's called Mimi anymore.
What do your friends really call you?
959
01:09:55,474 --> 01:09:57,272
Sam.
960
01:10:12,858 --> 01:10:14,348
On the ride from the stadium,
961
01:10:14,527 --> 01:10:17,656
Mimi told me all about
another intimate friend.
962
01:10:18,798 --> 01:10:20,095
Fidel who?
963
01:10:20,266 --> 01:10:23,861
Well, of course, darling,
he was only a student then.
964
01:10:24,036 --> 01:10:25,367
Thank you.
965
01:10:25,538 --> 01:10:28,030
You know, I'd like talk to you
some more, but I've got a problem:
966
01:10:28,207 --> 01:10:29,834
I can't afford your prices.
967
01:10:30,009 --> 01:10:33,274
You couldn't see your way clear
to a little discount operation?
968
01:10:33,445 --> 01:10:34,674
Oh, perhaps.
969
01:10:34,847 --> 01:10:37,748
I don't expect you
to give away green stamps.
970
01:10:38,217 --> 01:10:41,118
Are you sure that thing is dead?
971
01:10:42,087 --> 01:10:45,614
Oh, darling, I find you so amusing.
You're delightful.
972
01:10:45,791 --> 01:10:48,556
- Is that gonna cost me more or less?
- Oh, no, no, no.
973
01:10:48,727 --> 01:10:50,991
I am very well taken care of,
as you can see.
974
01:10:51,163 --> 01:10:53,154
I don't want to take
more of your money.
975
01:10:53,332 --> 01:10:55,323
Yeah, I know,
but if the column goes over,
976
01:10:55,501 --> 01:10:58,402
I might need a couple hours
of your time every day for two weeks.
977
01:10:58,571 --> 01:11:01,802
It's nothing. You shall be--
How do you call it in America?
978
01:11:01,974 --> 01:11:04,170
My charity case.
979
01:11:04,343 --> 01:11:06,869
Doesn't that make you feel
a little like the Salvation Army?
980
01:11:07,046 --> 01:11:09,413
Only a little.
981
01:11:10,983 --> 01:11:13,680
Well, here you are,
back to the salt mines.
982
01:11:17,756 --> 01:11:21,715
Better not keep your friend waiting.
I hear he's the impatient type.
983
01:11:23,095 --> 01:11:25,757
Are you going in, or do you have to
go around back, like the groceries?
984
01:11:25,931 --> 01:11:28,901
Oh, no, no, no. I am going in.
985
01:11:29,068 --> 01:11:30,297
Hello, Jacques.
986
01:11:38,644 --> 01:11:41,238
A demain, darling.
Till tomorrow.
987
01:11:41,413 --> 01:11:42,972
Sure. Be good.
988
01:11:43,148 --> 01:11:44,479
Sorry.
989
01:11:44,650 --> 01:11:47,176
Goodbye, darling.
990
01:11:50,389 --> 01:11:53,188
Don't shoot, s'il vous plait.
I'm going.
991
01:11:53,592 --> 01:11:55,219
Taxi.
992
01:11:55,394 --> 01:11:56,953
Taxi.
993
01:11:58,898 --> 01:12:01,765
It was something
Mimi might regret in later years.
994
01:12:01,934 --> 01:12:05,029
She never got a chance
to play the palace.
995
01:12:05,704 --> 01:12:07,331
I don't know why I did it.
996
01:12:07,506 --> 01:12:10,703
First, I was angry with him,
and then when he didn't recognize me,
997
01:12:10,876 --> 01:12:14,141
it was a silly game with a silly accent.
I was getting even.
998
01:12:14,313 --> 01:12:15,838
But then, when he fell for it,
999
01:12:16,015 --> 01:12:18,950
when he actually thought
I was one, that's such an insult.
1000
01:12:19,118 --> 01:12:21,815
That's one thing any man
will believe about any woman,
1001
01:12:21,987 --> 01:12:25,582
any time, anyplace, anywhere.
And let's keep it like that.
1002
01:12:25,758 --> 01:12:28,921
It's the best thing we have on them
outside of community property.
1003
01:12:29,094 --> 01:12:32,496
I suppose I overdid it as far as
the makeup was concerned,
1004
01:12:32,665 --> 01:12:37,102
- but I'd never realized men would--
- I got a whiff of that perfume.
1005
01:12:37,269 --> 01:12:41,331
Don't put it on any stronger, or the
moose'll be coming out of the swamps.
1006
01:12:41,507 --> 01:12:44,033
I suppose I should've told him
the truth right away,
1007
01:12:44,209 --> 01:12:47,440
but now he's gonna hate me
for making a fool out of him.
1008
01:12:47,613 --> 01:12:49,672
Well, that's no problem.
1009
01:12:49,848 --> 01:12:53,307
You're never gonna
see him again, are you?
1010
01:12:54,286 --> 01:12:57,119
Here's a man that's insulted you
in every possible way.
1011
01:12:57,289 --> 01:13:00,554
First, he thinks you're a boy.
Next, he thinks you're a--
1012
01:13:01,093 --> 01:13:04,495
"Filly de joy"?
I don't I know if I pronounced it right,
1013
01:13:04,830 --> 01:13:07,731
but that's the way they spell
in the Ladies' Home Journal.
1014
01:13:07,900 --> 01:13:10,130
So why would you wanna
meet him again?
1015
01:13:12,171 --> 01:13:14,640
I haven't the vaguest idea.
1016
01:13:14,907 --> 01:13:18,810
And if I don't see him tomorrow,
I'm gonna slit my throat.
1017
01:13:19,144 --> 01:13:21,408
Oh, Lina,
what's the matter with me?
1018
01:13:21,580 --> 01:13:22,809
Nothing, baby.
1019
01:13:22,982 --> 01:13:27,044
You just defrosted too fast,
and your knees have melted.
1020
01:13:31,223 --> 01:13:35,660
"Mimi came out for the second half,
with the score nothing-nothing,
1021
01:13:35,828 --> 01:13:40,857
determined to protect her goal line
against the prince and his team.
1022
01:13:41,667 --> 01:13:44,637
Although the playing field
was growing slippery,
1023
01:13:44,803 --> 01:13:47,329
she managed to keep her feet,
which, as we all know,
1024
01:13:47,506 --> 01:13:50,339
is half the battle in any sport.
1025
01:13:51,076 --> 01:13:54,979
But just before
the whistle blew, she tripped.
1026
01:13:55,147 --> 01:13:58,583
And there went the old ball game."
1027
01:14:02,054 --> 01:14:04,386
Oh, you'll have to write more
like this one.
1028
01:14:04,556 --> 01:14:08,515
- You'll either get rich or arrested.
- Eat your French dip pastrami.
1029
01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:11,686
You know, sometimes I think there's
more good in a dame like that--
1030
01:14:11,864 --> 01:14:15,459
Open, no beating around the bush--
Than a dozen blushing debutantes
1031
01:14:15,634 --> 01:14:18,535
whose fathers see that they
wind up with the highest bidder.
1032
01:14:21,607 --> 01:14:25,134
The next day saw the start of one
of those cross-country bicycle races
1033
01:14:25,310 --> 01:14:26,607
the Europeans love.
1034
01:14:26,779 --> 01:14:30,215
I made another date with Mimi and we
covered it together from the press car,
1035
01:14:30,382 --> 01:14:32,646
right through the heart
of the city of Paris.
1036
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,518
It was a beautiful day for a race,
1037
01:14:36,688 --> 01:14:39,919
but I didn't spend much time
admiring the scenery or the racers.
1038
01:14:40,092 --> 01:14:43,323
My charming companion
was telling me the story of her life.
1039
01:14:43,495 --> 01:14:47,022
It made Cleopatra
sound like Mother Machree.
1040
01:14:47,266 --> 01:14:49,826
As we rounded the turn
into the Bois de Boulogne,
1041
01:14:50,002 --> 01:14:52,869
Mimi was telling me about
an adventure she had once
1042
01:14:53,038 --> 01:14:57,134
with a foreign millionaire.
On a bicycle.
1043
01:14:57,309 --> 01:15:02,008
It seems she'd had adventures on
almost everything except a pogo stick.
1044
01:15:02,815 --> 01:15:06,183
Her sense of balance, apparently,
was phenomenal.
1045
01:15:06,452 --> 01:15:09,478
As I listened, I could see
my next column writing itself.
1046
01:15:59,705 --> 01:16:04,541
Help! Help! Help!
1047
01:16:20,159 --> 01:16:23,720
Only a few more houses
to cover, and then it'll be all over.
1048
01:16:23,896 --> 01:16:26,058
Somehow, I wish it could just go on.
1049
01:16:26,231 --> 01:16:29,394
Somehow, I wish
you were paying the hotel bills.
1050
01:16:29,568 --> 01:16:31,434
Sam, a pencil.
1051
01:16:32,905 --> 01:16:34,134
So where's the pencils today?
1052
01:16:34,306 --> 01:16:37,606
They stopped growing out of her head.
Maybe they'll bloom in the spring.
1053
01:16:37,776 --> 01:16:42,077
Here you are. Haven't you noticed
that Samantha has changed lately?
1054
01:16:42,247 --> 01:16:44,978
I am sure you're in love.
Isn't it true?
1055
01:16:45,150 --> 01:16:47,312
- I don't know.
- That's the worst kind.
1056
01:16:47,486 --> 01:16:49,215
It usually is fatal.
1057
01:16:49,388 --> 01:16:52,358
But I approve of your hair,
and I approve of your dress.
1058
01:16:52,524 --> 01:16:55,425
I approve of yours. That's a real
snappy number you got on.
1059
01:16:55,594 --> 01:16:58,393
- Thanks.
- I feel a plate of onion soup coming on.
1060
01:16:58,564 --> 01:17:01,397
So there's prohibition in this country
against onion soup?
1061
01:17:01,567 --> 01:17:04,502
Help me pick out a tie, and we'll go to
that little place with the sausages--
1062
01:17:04,670 --> 01:17:09,608
Oh, no. Tonight, I take you to a lovely
little restaurant called Tour d'Argent.
1063
01:17:09,775 --> 01:17:13,541
And after that, a charming night club,
Elephant Blanc, and after that...
1064
01:17:14,279 --> 01:17:16,680
Can you imagine Bergner
in the Tour d'Argent?
1065
01:17:16,848 --> 01:17:18,942
She'll slip something
in his pumpernickel.
1066
01:17:20,719 --> 01:17:24,053
Are you doing any better,
Miss False Eyelashes?
1067
01:17:24,223 --> 01:17:26,214
No, I'm running
out of stories to tell him.
1068
01:17:26,391 --> 01:17:30,259
I've been through Camille five times,
once backwards, and I'm coughed out.
1069
01:17:30,429 --> 01:17:32,261
I need some new material.
1070
01:17:32,431 --> 01:17:34,661
Why don't you ask Felicienne.
1071
01:17:34,833 --> 01:17:38,030
I have an idea she wrote
the training manual.
1072
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:41,562
Lina.
1073
01:17:42,708 --> 01:17:44,676
I'm sorry.
About Joe, I mean.
1074
01:17:46,044 --> 01:17:49,309
You just take care of yourself
with that reporter fellow.
1075
01:17:49,581 --> 01:17:53,347
You know, it only takes one editor
to put a whole newspaper to bed.
1076
01:17:53,919 --> 01:17:55,182
Darling.
1077
01:17:55,354 --> 01:17:58,119
- You coming with us tonight?
- No, but thank you.
1078
01:17:58,290 --> 01:18:01,260
But, Felicienne, perhaps you could
help me with something.
1079
01:18:01,426 --> 01:18:03,087
Why, of course, I'd be delighted.
1080
01:18:03,262 --> 01:18:06,892
Do you have any friends
who might have had some...
1081
01:18:07,065 --> 01:18:11,002
...adventures of a particularly
unusual nature with men?
1082
01:18:11,169 --> 01:18:16,107
Oh, darling, this is Paris.
I don't have any friends who have not.
1083
01:18:16,275 --> 01:18:19,540
Do you remember
any particularly memorable?
1084
01:18:19,711 --> 01:18:22,681
I see we're going to have a girls' talk.
1085
01:18:22,848 --> 01:18:24,577
You're in love with a Frenchman,
1086
01:18:24,750 --> 01:18:27,048
and you want me to tell you
how to proceed.
1087
01:18:27,219 --> 01:18:29,153
Well, it's not exactly one individual.
1088
01:18:29,321 --> 01:18:32,052
It's more like I'm syndicated.
1089
01:18:32,224 --> 01:18:35,455
Well, congratulations.
1090
01:18:35,627 --> 01:18:37,288
Well...
1091
01:18:37,462 --> 01:18:41,365
...I had a rather interesting evening
with the Comte de Bauvay.
1092
01:18:41,533 --> 01:18:43,968
- Do you know him?
- I've heard the name.
1093
01:18:44,136 --> 01:18:46,468
We had a flaming affair, Sizi and I.
1094
01:18:46,638 --> 01:18:48,606
- Sizi?
- Yes.
1095
01:18:48,774 --> 01:18:50,640
He was madly in love with me.
1096
01:18:50,809 --> 01:18:53,904
Now, then, let me see,
how did it begin?
1097
01:18:54,079 --> 01:18:57,208
Oh, yes, it was raining, of course.
It's always raining.
1098
01:18:57,382 --> 01:19:00,647
And his wife, the countess,
was away, but then she's always away.
1099
01:19:00,819 --> 01:19:03,550
And he asked me if I would like to take
a bath in champagne with him,
1100
01:19:03,722 --> 01:19:08,057
so how could I say no?
And it's so much easier to say yes.
1101
01:19:29,548 --> 01:19:33,542
So I arrived at midnight,
and the Comte de Bauvay--
1102
01:19:33,719 --> 01:19:38,179
- Sizi, he is called by his friends.
- Of whom you are the friendliest.
1103
01:19:38,357 --> 01:19:41,486
Oh, yes. Well, possibly.
At any rate, the Comte de Bauvay,
1104
01:19:41,660 --> 01:19:43,719
he took me in his arms and he says,
1105
01:19:43,895 --> 01:19:46,023
"Darling, the countess
has gone to Biarritz.
1106
01:19:46,198 --> 01:19:48,758
Have you ever had
a bath in champagne?"
1107
01:19:48,934 --> 01:19:51,562
And what did you say,
"What'll we use for a chaser?"
1108
01:19:51,737 --> 01:19:54,297
Oh, mais non. No, darling.
I said-- Look out!
1109
01:19:57,409 --> 01:19:59,537
It is necessary to drive so quickly?
1110
01:19:59,711 --> 01:20:02,578
Well, they asked me
to road-test this beast.
1111
01:20:11,556 --> 01:20:13,684
Are you all right?
1112
01:20:13,859 --> 01:20:16,226
I think so, yes.
1113
01:20:18,130 --> 01:20:19,894
Let me see.
1114
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:22,727
- Am I bleeding?
- Here.
1115
01:20:23,101 --> 01:20:25,160
I'm sorry. I really am.
1116
01:20:25,337 --> 01:20:28,034
I'm like a kid with a hot rod.
1117
01:20:28,206 --> 01:20:30,538
Wonder where I was when
brains were being passed out.
1118
01:20:30,709 --> 01:20:33,770
Probably trying to put a Chrysler
engine in a Model T Ford.
1119
01:20:33,945 --> 01:20:35,743
It won't fit.
1120
01:20:36,114 --> 01:20:39,744
That motor you're talking about.
It won't fit in a Model T. It's too big.
1121
01:20:40,085 --> 01:20:41,519
What?
1122
01:20:41,686 --> 01:20:44,712
My brother used
to have a garage in Harrisburg.
1123
01:20:44,890 --> 01:20:46,187
Harrisburg?
1124
01:20:47,793 --> 01:20:50,524
Harrisbourg. In Brittany.
1125
01:20:50,695 --> 01:20:52,925
- Do you know Brittany?
- No.
1126
01:20:53,098 --> 01:20:54,429
Harrisbourg.
1127
01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:58,467
That's where I was when
the brains were being passed out.
1128
01:20:58,637 --> 01:21:00,935
- And do you knew where I was?
- No, where?
1129
01:21:01,106 --> 01:21:04,269
Taking a bath in champagne.
1130
01:21:04,776 --> 01:21:06,642
- You sure you're okay?
- I'm fine.
1131
01:21:06,812 --> 01:21:10,009
- You're a nut.
- Am I?
1132
01:21:23,762 --> 01:21:26,527
- What's the matter?
- I'm not that much of a charity case.
1133
01:21:26,698 --> 01:21:29,030
When I need
the Salvation Army, I'll call.
1134
01:21:29,201 --> 01:21:31,135
- But, Steve--
- How stupid do you think I am?
1135
01:21:31,303 --> 01:21:33,567
"Harrisbourg," yet. That accent.
1136
01:21:33,738 --> 01:21:37,800
You're a liar and a phony,
like all of your kind.
1137
01:21:37,976 --> 01:21:40,377
- Come on, turn over, will you, baby.
- What?
1138
01:21:40,545 --> 01:21:42,035
The car.
1139
01:21:42,214 --> 01:21:45,013
I played along because I needed a
story from you, and that's all I needed.
1140
01:21:45,183 --> 01:21:47,811
Why don't you save that tender
loving care for the cash customers.
1141
01:21:47,986 --> 01:21:52,082
Steve, Steve, I wanna tell you the
truth. I've been meaning to all along.
1142
01:21:52,257 --> 01:21:55,591
I know, you're putting your sick
old mother through reform school.
1143
01:21:55,760 --> 01:21:58,388
Please, I'm not
what you think, not at all.
1144
01:21:58,563 --> 01:22:00,930
I've never known
one who was, darling.
1145
01:22:01,266 --> 01:22:04,236
Oh, you've known quite a few?
1146
01:22:04,402 --> 01:22:06,734
I've got a bathtub too.
1147
01:22:07,506 --> 01:22:11,807
Hit a tree, hit a tree, hit a tree!
1148
01:22:17,015 --> 01:22:21,145
I took a cold shower
and threw myself back into my work.
1149
01:22:30,028 --> 01:22:33,362
Those same old
beautiful dresses, day after day.
1150
01:22:33,532 --> 01:22:37,560
I couldn't even get up enough
enthusiasm to steal anything.
1151
01:23:06,298 --> 01:23:08,426
Chapeau de paille marine et rouge.
1152
01:23:08,600 --> 01:23:11,228
Navy wool suit, red blouse.
1153
01:23:11,403 --> 01:23:13,531
Navy and red straw hat.
1154
01:23:13,705 --> 01:23:16,174
Isn't it charming?
1155
01:23:16,341 --> 01:23:19,436
It's so large, it's beyond
being in bad taste.
1156
01:23:19,611 --> 01:23:22,137
I already gave my thanks
to St. Catherine.
1157
01:23:22,314 --> 01:23:23,804
She deserves it.
1158
01:23:23,982 --> 01:23:27,247
- She got you a fiancee and a jeweler.
- It's lovely.
1159
01:23:27,419 --> 01:23:29,683
Joe, the darling,
gave it to me last night,
1160
01:23:29,854 --> 01:23:32,414
while we were having
onion soup, of all things.
1161
01:23:32,591 --> 01:23:34,286
For a minute,
she thought it was a crouton.
1162
01:23:38,263 --> 01:23:39,822
Diamant noir.
1163
01:23:39,998 --> 01:23:43,298
Robe de crépe noir.
Chapeau de crin noir.
1164
01:23:43,468 --> 01:23:45,095
Black crepe gown.
1165
01:23:45,270 --> 01:23:48,205
Black horsehair hat.
1166
01:23:50,208 --> 01:23:53,644
Congratulations,
I hope you'll be very happy.
1167
01:23:53,812 --> 01:23:56,873
A man reaches a time in life
he's got a right to be foolish.
1168
01:23:57,048 --> 01:24:00,245
Besides, think of all the fun I'll have
teaching her to play pinochle.
1169
01:24:00,418 --> 01:24:02,352
Darling, darling,
I hope you don't mind,
1170
01:24:02,520 --> 01:24:03,988
but I told our publicity office
1171
01:24:04,155 --> 01:24:07,489
to put a little something in the papers
about our engagement.
1172
01:24:08,326 --> 01:24:11,057
Tell her to look under science fiction.
1173
01:24:11,229 --> 01:24:13,254
Concerto.
1174
01:24:13,431 --> 01:24:15,661
Robe de gazar vert.
1175
01:24:15,834 --> 01:24:18,531
Green gazar gown.
1176
01:24:23,675 --> 01:24:25,905
My affair with the Comte de Bauvay.
1177
01:24:26,077 --> 01:24:27,670
Every detail.
1178
01:24:27,846 --> 01:24:30,474
- And it's told as a hockey game.
- What?
1179
01:24:30,649 --> 01:24:35,348
"Before facing off, both sides
warmed up in a tub full of champagne.
1180
01:24:35,520 --> 01:24:38,148
- It broke the ice."
- It's just a joke--
1181
01:24:38,323 --> 01:24:40,724
A joke for all my friends
to read in the newspapers.
1182
01:24:40,892 --> 01:24:43,987
Everybody knew about it.
Everyone has these little affairs,
1183
01:24:44,162 --> 01:24:46,256
these-- These projets d'amour.
1184
01:24:46,431 --> 01:24:48,229
You mean this is true?
1185
01:24:48,400 --> 01:24:50,061
You and this count fellow?
1186
01:24:50,235 --> 01:24:53,500
Oh, darling, darling, this is Paris.
1187
01:24:53,672 --> 01:24:56,334
Every woman amuses herself.
It doesn't mean anything.
1188
01:24:56,508 --> 01:24:58,408
It's like having your hair done.
1189
01:24:59,110 --> 01:25:02,546
But this is too outrageous. You've
simply got to do something about it.
1190
01:25:02,714 --> 01:25:04,148
That's what I was thinking.
1191
01:25:04,315 --> 01:25:07,148
I think I'll go out right now
and buy a subscription.
1192
01:25:07,318 --> 01:25:10,083
If they'll sell one
to a stupid old schlemiel.
1193
01:25:10,889 --> 01:25:13,586
Sam, get our tickets
back to the States for tomorrow.
1194
01:25:13,758 --> 01:25:15,988
We've bought everything we need.
1195
01:25:16,161 --> 01:25:18,129
And a couple we didn't.
1196
01:25:24,002 --> 01:25:26,767
Empire gown in violet...
1197
01:25:28,139 --> 01:25:30,471
- Thank you.
- When she gets her motor running,
1198
01:25:30,642 --> 01:25:32,770
she can't turn it off.
1199
01:25:36,047 --> 01:25:37,537
I've had it.
1200
01:25:37,716 --> 01:25:41,118
With her, with the column,
with the whole newspaper business.
1201
01:25:41,286 --> 01:25:43,084
I owe International Press--
1202
01:25:43,254 --> 01:25:46,918
Would you get that? I owe
International Press one more piece.
1203
01:25:47,092 --> 01:25:49,493
- AIIO.
- Wanna get into something legitimate.
1204
01:25:49,661 --> 01:25:52,596
Something with a future,
like making slugs for pay television.
1205
01:25:52,764 --> 01:25:55,699
- Oh, Monsieur Sherman est ici.
- Who is it?
1206
01:25:57,235 --> 01:26:00,637
It's the boss, Chalmers,
calling from Los Angeles.
1207
01:26:00,805 --> 01:26:02,603
Is the call paid for?
1208
01:26:03,174 --> 01:26:04,733
You ask him.
1209
01:26:04,909 --> 01:26:07,003
Is this call paid for?
1210
01:26:07,378 --> 01:26:09,039
All right.
1211
01:26:11,182 --> 01:26:12,411
Hello, Bertram.
1212
01:26:12,984 --> 01:26:15,112
Bertram, his first name.
1213
01:26:15,286 --> 01:26:18,085
You're damn right I took it
seriously when you fired me.
1214
01:26:18,523 --> 01:26:20,457
Wrong attitude,
wrong attitude, Steve.
1215
01:26:20,625 --> 01:26:23,788
You got it wrong. They weren't good
columns. They were great columns.
1216
01:26:24,262 --> 01:26:25,491
Right attitude.
1217
01:26:25,663 --> 01:26:27,757
And there's a lot more
where those came from.
1218
01:26:27,932 --> 01:26:31,630
Yeah, she's quite a girl.
You better put her picture back up.
1219
01:26:34,606 --> 01:26:36,233
Just get one thing straight.
1220
01:26:36,407 --> 01:26:38,808
I ain't interested
in any lousy $200 raise.
1221
01:26:38,977 --> 01:26:40,877
You wanna know
what you can do with your job--
1222
01:26:41,045 --> 01:26:43,707
Please, Steve.
Even if he wants to know,
1223
01:26:43,882 --> 01:26:46,442
- I don't wanna know.
- What?
1224
01:26:46,618 --> 01:26:48,177
How much?
1225
01:26:48,853 --> 01:26:51,288
- Well, that's a little more like it.
- How much?
1226
01:26:51,456 --> 01:26:53,049
- Reprint rights?
- How much?
1227
01:26:53,224 --> 01:26:54,919
Transportation back to New York?
1228
01:26:55,093 --> 01:26:56,857
First class.
1229
01:26:57,562 --> 01:27:00,293
Bertram, you are
the salt of the earth.
1230
01:27:00,465 --> 01:27:02,331
They don't make them
like you anymore.
1231
01:27:02,500 --> 01:27:05,197
When they made you,
they broke the mold.
1232
01:27:05,370 --> 01:27:07,464
Good thing too.
1233
01:27:07,772 --> 01:27:09,240
Neat.
1234
01:27:09,507 --> 01:27:14,377
Yeah. Well, thank you,
dear employer, and good night.
1235
01:27:15,480 --> 01:27:17,505
- How much?
- Come on. Grab your coat.
1236
01:27:17,682 --> 01:27:20,583
We're gonna paint the town,
buy the Eiffel Tower.
1237
01:27:20,752 --> 01:27:22,413
- All right.
- Your chapeau, gargon.
1238
01:27:22,587 --> 01:27:24,555
- Merci.
- My jacket, gargon.
1239
01:27:24,722 --> 01:27:26,121
- Mais oui.
- My coat, gargon.
1240
01:27:26,291 --> 01:27:28,521
- Oui, mais.
- Your cape, mon capitaine.
1241
01:27:28,693 --> 01:27:30,787
Mon général.
1242
01:27:31,095 --> 01:27:32,324
I'm ticklish.
1243
01:27:32,497 --> 01:27:35,330
And now the meeting
will adjourn to the nearest saloon.
1244
01:27:38,837 --> 01:27:40,464
Aspirin?
1245
01:27:44,609 --> 01:27:47,806
Set them up for everybody!
Labor has triumphed over capital.
1246
01:27:47,979 --> 01:27:50,778
The revolution,
mon capitaine, is successful.
1247
01:27:50,949 --> 01:27:54,385
And once more the guillotine
is busy in the Place de la Concorde,
1248
01:27:54,552 --> 01:27:58,182
chopping the rear fenders
from the Cadillacs.
1249
01:27:58,356 --> 01:28:00,654
- A boire pour tout Ie monde.
- I'll have a Dr. Pepper.
1250
01:28:00,825 --> 01:28:03,317
Bourbon.
Bergner, come on, join the party.
1251
01:28:03,494 --> 01:28:05,929
I got my job back.
Heading back for New York tomorrow.
1252
01:28:06,097 --> 01:28:08,498
They might have a parade for me
from the unemployment agency.
1253
01:28:08,666 --> 01:28:10,600
- Hurrah.
- Well, what's the matter with you?
1254
01:28:10,768 --> 01:28:15,001
Nothing, I just realized it's taken me
50 years to become a schnook.
1255
01:28:15,173 --> 01:28:17,699
- My brother-in-law made it in 20.
- You've been working too hard.
1256
01:28:17,876 --> 01:28:19,605
Nobody's got a right
to be miserable in Paris.
1257
01:28:19,777 --> 01:28:22,644
I'm an American. I got a right
to be miserable any place in the world.
1258
01:28:23,114 --> 01:28:25,674
I know what you need. A little female
companionship to cheer you up.
1259
01:28:25,850 --> 01:28:27,409
- Oh, no, no, no.
- No, I know this girl.
1260
01:28:27,585 --> 01:28:29,349
She's one of the best
cheerleaders in town.
1261
01:28:29,520 --> 01:28:31,955
Female companionship
is how I got this way.
1262
01:28:32,123 --> 01:28:35,218
Well, not this type, it's sure-fire.
1263
01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:38,791
Besides, I owe you a favor
for helping me outwith the column,
1264
01:28:38,963 --> 01:28:41,898
and I owe her a replacement.
1265
01:28:42,066 --> 01:28:44,091
Here, keep buying till this runs out.
1266
01:28:44,269 --> 01:28:46,203
I'm a big Tipper-
1267
01:28:47,105 --> 01:28:48,903
- I'll be back.
- Big tipper.
1268
01:28:49,073 --> 01:28:50,472
- Come on.
- Dr. Pepper for everybody.
1269
01:28:50,642 --> 01:28:52,736
Merci beaucoup, mon ami.
J'aime pas Ie Dr. Pepper.
1270
01:29:13,031 --> 01:29:15,227
Well, hello, hello.
1271
01:29:15,466 --> 01:29:19,528
Hello. I dropped an olive on the floor.
1272
01:29:19,704 --> 01:29:23,004
How are you?
Oh, nice to meet you.
1273
01:29:23,174 --> 01:29:27,509
This isn't happening to me. Please,
Mr. Bergner, don't give me away.
1274
01:29:27,679 --> 01:29:29,306
Andl was going to
apologize for getting mad
1275
01:29:29,480 --> 01:29:32,177
and tell him the whole truth
tonight, no matter what.
1276
01:29:32,350 --> 01:29:35,047
He's actually
introducing me to a friend,
1277
01:29:35,219 --> 01:29:39,178
passing me around
like I was a box of 15-cent cigars.
1278
01:29:39,490 --> 01:29:42,357
Sam, Sam. What's going on?
1279
01:29:42,527 --> 01:29:44,461
What's been going on every night?
1280
01:29:44,629 --> 01:29:47,428
A nice New York girl like you
entertaining out-of-town buyers,
1281
01:29:47,598 --> 01:29:49,396
in somebody else's hair.
1282
01:29:49,567 --> 01:29:53,470
Bergner, keep your big mouth shut
till you find out what's what.
1283
01:29:53,638 --> 01:29:57,836
Why should I feel so upset? She must
have done this a dozen times before.
1284
01:29:58,009 --> 01:30:00,740
Dozen? A hundred, 500.
1285
01:30:00,912 --> 01:30:03,142
She probably has one of those
counting machines you hold
1286
01:30:03,314 --> 01:30:04,941
like an usher counting the audience.
1287
01:30:05,116 --> 01:30:06,914
Click-click, click-click, click-click.
1288
01:30:07,085 --> 01:30:09,611
Just so she can
keep her books straight.
1289
01:30:10,088 --> 01:30:12,648
And now they're going to his hotel.
1290
01:30:12,824 --> 01:30:16,260
All right, Joe Bergner. Maybe
you'll get along fine, even at your age.
1291
01:30:16,427 --> 01:30:19,988
Well, why not? You're rich
enough to be absolutely lovable.
1292
01:30:20,498 --> 01:30:22,830
Oh, why did I ever
do a crazy thing like this?
1293
01:30:23,001 --> 01:30:25,197
They like each other.
1294
01:30:25,436 --> 01:30:28,428
Click-click, click-click,
click-click, click-click.
1295
01:30:43,254 --> 01:30:45,518
Well, anyway,
that's the last I'll see of her.
1296
01:30:45,690 --> 01:30:48,716
Phony accent, phony hair,
phony name.
1297
01:30:48,893 --> 01:30:53,763
Going to a hotel with a guy she's fallen
in love with in a minute and a half.
1298
01:30:53,931 --> 01:30:56,832
Well, so let her.
Why should that bother me at all?
1299
01:30:57,001 --> 01:30:59,060
I don't know.
It doesn't bother me.
1300
01:30:59,237 --> 01:31:01,934
See, the big problem is,
in spite of everything, I'm--
1301
01:31:04,909 --> 01:31:07,173
In spite of everything,
I'm just a country boy.
1302
01:31:07,345 --> 01:31:09,245
You know what I did last Sunday?
I went to church.
1303
01:31:09,414 --> 01:31:11,940
It wasn't bad at all, Harry.
It might just catch on.
1304
01:31:12,116 --> 01:31:13,606
Could become a habit.
1305
01:31:13,785 --> 01:31:16,652
You think a girl like that ever's
been inside a church?
1306
01:31:16,821 --> 01:31:18,289
You think she's got a family?
1307
01:31:18,456 --> 01:31:20,288
Think she knows the meaning
of the word "shame"?
1308
01:31:20,458 --> 01:31:23,655
I hope not.
Oh, you mean your girl.
1309
01:31:23,828 --> 01:31:27,230
Not my girl.
Apparently, she's everybody's girl.
1310
01:31:27,398 --> 01:31:30,368
Ought to be just my type,
I suppose, but...
1311
01:31:30,535 --> 01:31:33,402
...something about her bugs me.
I keep worrying about her.
1312
01:31:33,571 --> 01:31:35,335
I keep wondering
what she's doing.
1313
01:31:35,506 --> 01:31:39,204
Like I keep wondering
what she's doing right now.
1314
01:31:49,554 --> 01:31:53,013
I loathe him.
I despise him. I hate him.
1315
01:31:53,224 --> 01:31:55,352
But I want him.
1316
01:31:57,829 --> 01:32:00,457
What do you think would happen
if I went to him right now
1317
01:32:00,631 --> 01:32:02,861
and I told him the truth,
the whole truth?
1318
01:32:03,034 --> 01:32:05,901
- He's a man. He'll understand.
- Then he'd strangle you.
1319
01:32:06,070 --> 01:32:09,563
No, baby, one thing a fella
doesn't want from a girl is surprises.
1320
01:32:09,740 --> 01:32:13,836
Forty percent of all divorces start on
the honeymoon night. Get out of there.
1321
01:32:14,011 --> 01:32:16,275
What am I gonna do?
I can't go on like this,
1322
01:32:16,447 --> 01:32:19,473
with him going around drumming up
trade for me like I was a...
1323
01:32:19,650 --> 01:32:21,846
...nationally advertised product.
1324
01:32:22,019 --> 01:32:25,387
Oh, Lina, I love him,
the dirty louse.
1325
01:32:25,957 --> 01:32:28,927
Suppose you went to him for help.
1326
01:32:29,093 --> 01:32:30,754
What do you mean, for help?
1327
01:32:30,928 --> 01:32:37,459
Meeting a fine man like him, so fine,
so honest, so understanding.
1328
01:32:37,635 --> 01:32:40,195
You're a little bit ashamed.
1329
01:32:41,205 --> 01:32:44,368
Oh, and I'm gonna change
my whole way of life for him.
1330
01:32:44,542 --> 01:32:46,704
If he'd only help you
to reform a little.
1331
01:32:46,878 --> 01:32:48,039
I'd give it all up.
1332
01:32:48,513 --> 01:32:50,242
- And I'd go to church.
- Yeah.
1333
01:32:50,414 --> 01:32:52,212
- I'd go to the PTA meeting.
- Yeah.
1334
01:32:52,383 --> 01:32:54,784
- I'd knit.
- Knitting, nobody believes anymore.
1335
01:32:54,952 --> 01:32:57,978
Who asked you, Beatrice Fairfax?
Come on, fix your face
1336
01:32:58,156 --> 01:33:01,490
- and go look for him. Worth a try.
- Wait a minute. Forgot your hair.
1337
01:33:01,659 --> 01:33:04,219
- Don't throw it--
- Strike one.
1338
01:33:04,395 --> 01:33:06,386
Come on.
Look pretty and think positive.
1339
01:33:06,564 --> 01:33:07,588
I'm trying.
1340
01:33:07,932 --> 01:33:09,263
- Come on.
- Poor kid.
1341
01:33:09,433 --> 01:33:13,563
It's like after all these years
finding out you got a daughter.
1342
01:33:13,738 --> 01:33:16,605
Mr. Bergner, you have
just received my resignation.
1343
01:33:16,774 --> 01:33:17,764
Resig--?
1344
01:33:17,942 --> 01:33:19,410
Why, what did I do?
1345
01:33:19,577 --> 01:33:21,045
For 15 years, nothing.
1346
01:33:21,212 --> 01:33:23,146
- And now all of a sudden, Romeo.
- Romeo?
1347
01:33:23,314 --> 01:33:26,614
From Union Square.
First it's that Hungarian French poodle.
1348
01:33:26,784 --> 01:33:28,377
- That's over with long ago.
- Sure.
1349
01:33:28,553 --> 01:33:31,215
- If I could only get back the ring.
- And now look what happened.
1350
01:33:31,389 --> 01:33:33,118
You ask a friend
to introduce you to some girl.
1351
01:33:33,291 --> 01:33:35,089
- He asked me just to cheer me up.
- Yes.
1352
01:33:35,259 --> 01:33:36,454
Anyway, it turned out to be Sam.
1353
01:33:36,627 --> 01:33:39,153
And suppose he'd introduced
you to some real tramp?
1354
01:33:39,330 --> 01:33:40,798
To her you wouldn't have
been a father.
1355
01:33:40,965 --> 01:33:45,232
So, what am I supposed to do,
lay down and die of shame? Shoot me.
1356
01:33:45,570 --> 01:33:49,404
I'm not so old that a pretty face
don't make me feel good.
1357
01:33:49,574 --> 01:33:52,305
- A pretty face.
- It's a terrible thing to be lonely.
1358
01:33:52,476 --> 01:33:54,308
To be alone.
1359
01:33:54,478 --> 01:33:58,437
In New York it was bad enough.
But in Paris...
1360
01:33:58,616 --> 01:34:00,345
You wouldn't understand.
1361
01:34:00,518 --> 01:34:03,419
- I wouldn't, huh?
- No, you wouldn't.
1362
01:34:04,355 --> 01:34:08,758
Last week I went
for a carriage ride in the park.
1363
01:34:08,960 --> 01:34:11,986
Just me and an old horse driver.
1364
01:34:12,797 --> 01:34:15,198
I didn't even know
what he was saying.
1365
01:34:15,366 --> 01:34:17,164
He spoke only French.
1366
01:34:17,735 --> 01:34:19,703
But in that half-hour...
1367
01:34:19,870 --> 01:34:21,838
...he looked at me more than you have
1368
01:34:22,006 --> 01:34:24,270
in the 15 years
I've been working for you.
1369
01:34:24,442 --> 01:34:27,742
Even his horse looked at me more.
1370
01:34:29,046 --> 01:34:31,674
So don't give me lonely.
1371
01:34:36,153 --> 01:34:39,350
So now you've quit your job.
1372
01:34:39,523 --> 01:34:42,083
How are you
planning to make a living?
1373
01:34:42,927 --> 01:34:47,558
Maybe I'll borrow Sam's wig
and go into business for myself.
1374
01:34:48,599 --> 01:34:54,936
Some old schlemiel like you might
come along who's forgot his glasses.
1375
01:34:57,575 --> 01:35:02,035
You wouldn't maybe be interested
in some onion soup?
1376
01:35:07,285 --> 01:35:09,515
Well, Mr. Bergner...
1377
01:35:09,687 --> 01:35:10,882
Get yourself dolled up.
1378
01:35:11,055 --> 01:35:14,252
We'll go to that place where the
frankfurters hang from the ceiling.
1379
01:35:14,425 --> 01:35:16,086
Voila, madame.
1380
01:35:18,496 --> 01:35:20,123
ls Mr. Joe Bergner in?
1381
01:35:20,298 --> 01:35:21,925
I believe so, monsieur.
1382
01:35:22,099 --> 01:35:24,500
Did that old goat just go upstairs
with a young lady?
1383
01:35:24,669 --> 01:35:26,103
A young, beautiful lady?
1384
01:35:26,270 --> 01:35:28,398
A young lady
young enough to be his own child?
1385
01:35:28,572 --> 01:35:31,837
I can only say, monsieur,
I am looking forward to my own future
1386
01:35:32,009 --> 01:35:34,706
with renewed confidence.
1387
01:35:36,047 --> 01:35:37,640
Monsieur.
1388
01:35:41,652 --> 01:35:43,142
- Where is she?
- Who?
1389
01:35:43,321 --> 01:35:45,790
- Lolita.
- Oh, she's in the bedroom, but--
1390
01:35:45,956 --> 01:35:47,355
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
1391
01:35:47,525 --> 01:35:50,517
- Why don't you get yourself a hobby.
- I play golf.
1392
01:35:51,762 --> 01:35:53,662
Steve?
1393
01:35:55,166 --> 01:35:57,032
Now, Steve...
1394
01:35:57,501 --> 01:35:58,491
Out.
1395
01:35:58,669 --> 01:36:01,263
But you don't understand. I'm gonna
change my whole way of life.
1396
01:36:01,439 --> 01:36:03,464
There's one hope for you.
You're coming with me.
1397
01:36:03,641 --> 01:36:06,042
- What for?
- Since when has that mattered to you?
1398
01:36:06,210 --> 01:36:07,336
Now, wait a minute.
1399
01:36:07,511 --> 01:36:10,537
- If you'd just listen.
- I have listened enough.
1400
01:36:10,715 --> 01:36:13,184
Did you have an enjoyable evening?
1401
01:36:13,984 --> 01:36:15,543
Shut up.
1402
01:36:17,888 --> 01:36:19,879
Goodbye, Lina.
1403
01:36:20,691 --> 01:36:22,523
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
1404
01:36:22,693 --> 01:36:24,821
He's just taking her out
someplace to strangle her.
1405
01:36:24,995 --> 01:36:26,326
Come on, let's hurry up.
1406
01:36:28,032 --> 01:36:29,693
The Cathedral of the Sacré Coeur
1407
01:36:29,867 --> 01:36:32,131
has received many sinners
over the centuries.
1408
01:36:32,303 --> 01:36:35,933
But none quite like the scarlet lady
in the red convertible.
1409
01:36:36,607 --> 01:36:39,975
Somebody's gotta help her, Father,
and I know I'm not qualified.
1410
01:36:40,144 --> 01:36:42,772
I just have the feeling that
in spite of the life she leads
1411
01:36:42,947 --> 01:36:45,917
that somehow, somewhere,
there's a spark of decency left in her.
1412
01:36:46,083 --> 01:36:47,915
They told me you've talked
to dozens of girls
1413
01:36:48,085 --> 01:36:51,020
here in Montmartre
and you've never failed yet.
1414
01:36:52,022 --> 01:36:53,990
My child, why don't you--
1415
01:37:01,098 --> 01:37:02,532
Mon dieu.
1416
01:37:02,700 --> 01:37:05,567
I don't think
she wants to be saved.
1417
01:37:05,736 --> 01:37:08,171
No, she likes it.
1418
01:38:24,782 --> 01:38:29,310
The next time you're in New York,
call El Dorado 5-3598.
1419
01:38:29,487 --> 01:38:32,855
That's Alcoholics Anonymous.
You need help.
1420
01:38:33,691 --> 01:38:35,625
Yes, sir.
1421
01:38:58,949 --> 01:39:01,475
We met her on our way home
from onion soup.
1422
01:39:01,652 --> 01:39:04,246
She was crying her eyes out.
Her whole life is ruined.
1423
01:39:04,421 --> 01:39:06,788
I gave her the same advice
her mother would have given her.
1424
01:39:06,957 --> 01:39:08,823
- Like what?
- I told her to go out and get drunk.
1425
01:39:08,993 --> 01:39:10,927
- Why not?
- Are you in love with her?
1426
01:39:11,095 --> 01:39:12,119
What are you talking about?
1427
01:39:12,296 --> 01:39:14,230
I'm talking about
I don't want her hanging around
1428
01:39:14,398 --> 01:39:17,060
15 years waiting for you
to get to be an old schlemiel.
1429
01:39:17,234 --> 01:39:18,531
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1430
01:39:18,702 --> 01:39:20,136
Tomorrow she's leaving
the country.
1431
01:39:20,304 --> 01:39:22,739
If you're not in love with her,
you must be an awful stupid jerk,
1432
01:39:22,907 --> 01:39:25,501
falling for those cock-and-bull
stories she's been feeding you.
1433
01:39:25,676 --> 01:39:29,135
- You can say that again.
- Camille, yet.
1434
01:39:29,346 --> 01:39:32,873
She must be a stupid girl for letting
me believe it. Why not tell the truth?
1435
01:39:33,050 --> 01:39:35,246
- What would you have done?
- I'd have strangled her.
1436
01:39:35,419 --> 01:39:37,717
- See, I told you.
- Are you in love with her?
1437
01:39:37,888 --> 01:39:41,290
She's taken a perfectly
normal human being...
1438
01:39:41,458 --> 01:39:43,722
A bachelor, a happy man
in the prime of life,
1439
01:39:43,894 --> 01:39:46,955
all womanhood spread out
in front of him like a buffet lunch.
1440
01:39:47,131 --> 01:39:50,192
Cut him down to nothing.
What a masquerade that
1441
01:39:50,367 --> 01:39:53,302
shouldn't have fooled a
nearsighted baboon at mating time.
1442
01:39:53,470 --> 01:39:54,904
Answer the question.
1443
01:39:55,072 --> 01:39:56,733
- You wanna hear it?
- Yes.
1444
01:39:56,907 --> 01:39:59,137
All right, yes.
1445
01:40:00,144 --> 01:40:01,634
Yes.
1446
01:40:01,812 --> 01:40:05,908
It must be a new kind of love. Ought to
bottle it and sell it for Instant Stupid.
1447
01:40:06,083 --> 01:40:08,074
I couldn't even
see through her mascara.
1448
01:40:08,252 --> 01:40:12,519
What am I gonna write home, huh?
"I want a girl, just like the girl
1449
01:40:12,690 --> 01:40:15,182
that Daddy met in the men's room."
1450
01:40:16,460 --> 01:40:20,761
This whole crazy sex business was
designed to make men idiots.
1451
01:40:21,098 --> 01:40:22,998
- And women mothers.
- Don't knock it.
1452
01:40:23,167 --> 01:40:25,795
Unless you've got
something better.
1453
01:40:26,604 --> 01:40:30,165
Yeah, well, I guess you get right
down to it, there isn't anything better.
1454
01:40:30,341 --> 01:40:34,835
But before I admit it to her,
I'll pull her through the ringer.
1455
01:40:35,012 --> 01:40:38,175
Crawling to me with her tail between
her legs, whining for forgiveness.
1456
01:40:38,782 --> 01:40:41,479
And if she doesn't,
what are you gonna do to her?
1457
01:40:41,652 --> 01:40:43,586
I'm gonna give--
1458
01:40:43,754 --> 01:40:45,051
1459
01:40:45,623 --> 01:40:48,251
Yeah? What?
1460
01:40:49,159 --> 01:40:51,491
I'll come up with something.
1461
01:40:56,667 --> 01:40:58,863
Well, hello, Mimi, baby.
1462
01:40:59,036 --> 01:41:02,700
I didn't know whether you'd be here
at the old roost tonight or not.
1463
01:41:02,873 --> 01:41:07,811
Why, every night I'm at this cafe
waiting for whatever life has in store.
1464
01:41:07,978 --> 01:41:10,379
And you have
the busiest store in town.
1465
01:41:10,547 --> 01:41:13,380
- Mais naturellement.
- Excuse me.
1466
01:41:14,618 --> 01:41:17,019
You know, I'm really sorry.
1467
01:41:17,221 --> 01:41:19,280
I came to apologize.
1468
01:41:19,456 --> 01:41:22,551
I should have realized that there
isn't anything you wanna confess.
1469
01:41:22,726 --> 01:41:24,592
- Is there?
- Nothing.
1470
01:41:24,762 --> 01:41:27,094
I mean, you like your work.
You enjoy what you do.
1471
01:41:27,998 --> 01:41:29,625
Right?
1472
01:41:30,401 --> 01:41:35,601
There is always great satisfaction
in anything that is done well.
1473
01:41:37,508 --> 01:41:39,875
What a crashing bore
that must have been for you,
1474
01:41:40,044 --> 01:41:41,944
all those wasted hours of conversation.
1475
01:41:42,112 --> 01:41:43,637
Yes.
1476
01:41:43,814 --> 01:41:46,476
When we could have been so gay.
1477
01:41:47,217 --> 01:41:49,914
Well, I'm leaving tomorrow.
1478
01:41:50,087 --> 01:41:52,681
I have taken the position over the
years never to pay for anything
1479
01:41:52,856 --> 01:41:55,382
that eventually might be given away
free, gratis, for nothing.
1480
01:41:55,559 --> 01:41:58,551
Sol hope you take this
as a very high compliment.
1481
01:41:58,729 --> 01:42:03,667
I would like to say goodbye to you,
tonight, properly, in my apartment.
1482
01:42:03,834 --> 01:42:06,428
- So naturally--
- Oh, no. No, no, no.
1483
01:42:06,603 --> 01:42:07,764
Why not?
1484
01:42:11,608 --> 01:42:15,374
Afterwards, darling.
It is so much more chic.
1485
01:42:17,748 --> 01:42:20,479
- Shall we go?
- What? Where?
1486
01:42:20,651 --> 01:42:22,745
To your apartment, of course.
Where else?
1487
01:42:22,920 --> 01:42:25,218
- What do you mean, my apartment?
- Come, come, come, come.
1488
01:42:25,389 --> 01:42:28,882
Let us run like little rabbits.
1489
01:42:31,562 --> 01:42:33,360
Say when.
1490
01:42:46,844 --> 01:42:48,744
When.
1491
01:42:56,186 --> 01:42:58,154
Bon voyage.
1492
01:43:48,405 --> 01:43:53,309
Wouldn't you like to slip into
something a little more comfy?
1493
01:43:54,378 --> 01:43:56,972
Mais naturellement.
1494
01:44:03,187 --> 01:44:05,554
The bathroom's up there.
1495
01:44:06,824 --> 01:44:09,088
Merci.
1496
01:44:34,885 --> 01:44:36,614
AW problems?
1497
01:44:38,021 --> 01:44:39,284
No.
1498
01:45:21,131 --> 01:45:23,532
Joe Bergner, please.
1499
01:45:25,903 --> 01:45:27,302
Hello, Joe?
1500
01:45:27,471 --> 01:45:30,463
She is just on the verge
of crawling to me.
1501
01:45:30,641 --> 01:45:33,406
Yeah. She locked herself
in the bathroom.
1502
01:45:33,977 --> 01:45:35,706
She's locked herself
in the bathroom.
1503
01:45:35,879 --> 01:45:38,780
She's gotta come out sometime.
The plane leaves in 14 hours.
1504
01:45:38,949 --> 01:45:42,010
The game's over. There's nothing she
can do now except come out of there,
1505
01:45:42,185 --> 01:45:45,280
whimpering like a wounded chicken
and confess the whole crazy thing.
1506
01:45:45,455 --> 01:45:47,924
Then I'll tell her
I knew it all along and--
1507
01:45:50,560 --> 01:45:52,892
Steve, darling.
1508
01:45:54,731 --> 01:45:57,928
There will be no further bulletins.
1509
01:46:09,947 --> 01:46:11,676
Hello, cheri.
1510
01:46:14,584 --> 01:46:17,144
Hello, Sam.
1511
01:46:17,321 --> 01:46:21,189
You think you fooled me for a minute?
That's a laugh. I knew all the time.
1512
01:46:21,358 --> 01:46:25,659
I just wanted to find out how far
you'd go. Now I found out. Touchdown.
1513
01:46:25,829 --> 01:46:28,958
What are you doing up here in a man's
room in the middle of the night,
1514
01:46:29,132 --> 01:46:32,762
taking money for a thing like this?
What kind of a girl are you?
1515
01:46:32,936 --> 01:46:35,428
You don't understand.
You don't understand at all.
1516
01:46:35,605 --> 01:46:38,939
- I wasn't really gonna do it.
- What weren't you really gonna do?
1517
01:46:39,109 --> 01:46:40,770
I wasn't gonna take any money.
1518
01:46:40,978 --> 01:46:43,606
That's even worse.
Maybe you really are Mimi.
1519
01:46:43,780 --> 01:46:46,511
I wasn't gonna do anything at all.
1520
01:46:46,683 --> 01:46:49,584
Oh, I hate women who cry.
1521
01:46:49,753 --> 01:46:55,214
Silly little female women who have
headaches and everything.
1522
01:46:55,392 --> 01:46:59,556
I wanted to be
so sophisticated about this.
1523
01:47:00,564 --> 01:47:04,330
I don't wanna spend the
rest of my life being a semi-maiden.
1524
01:47:04,501 --> 01:47:06,595
Now, what the hell is that?
1525
01:47:06,770 --> 01:47:09,467
It's worse than nothing at all.
1526
01:47:10,040 --> 01:47:13,010
It's like eating one peanut.
1527
01:47:14,378 --> 01:47:18,246
I'm sorry for fooling you.
I'm sorry for the whole thing.
1528
01:47:18,415 --> 01:47:22,613
But I'm sorriest for the fact that
I don't have anything to be sorry for.
1529
01:47:22,786 --> 01:47:26,188
I'm a grown woman,
and it's my last night in Paris,
1530
01:47:26,356 --> 01:47:30,486
and damn it, damn it,
I'm in love with you.
1531
01:47:31,028 --> 01:47:33,122
Oh, please don't cry, Sam.
1532
01:47:33,296 --> 01:47:35,697
Don't call me Sam!
1533
01:47:46,376 --> 01:47:50,711
Oh, boy.
I'll never call you Sam again.
1534
01:47:53,050 --> 01:47:55,815
Did I ever tell you
that I'm, damn it, in love too?
1535
01:47:55,986 --> 01:47:58,614
- No.
- Well, I'm telling you.
1536
01:47:58,789 --> 01:48:03,124
I'm a lot newer at it than you are. I've
never even been semi in love before.
1537
01:48:04,027 --> 01:48:07,258
You're the first girl that I ever asked
to be the mother of my children.
1538
01:48:07,431 --> 01:48:10,628
Oh, thank you. I'll try my best.
1539
01:48:10,801 --> 01:48:12,633
So will I.
1540
01:48:15,572 --> 01:48:17,836
But before we do...
1541
01:48:20,310 --> 01:48:22,074
What's that for?
1542
01:48:22,245 --> 01:48:26,011
The license. From now on,
I'm your sales manager.
1543
01:48:26,850 --> 01:48:28,682
No. No, it's not gonna work.
1544
01:48:28,852 --> 01:48:31,184
It's not gonna work because
it's always gonna be a joke to you.
1545
01:48:31,354 --> 01:48:33,379
It's gonna be a soccer match
or a football game.
1546
01:48:33,557 --> 01:48:37,152
You'll probably even write
a column about our wedding night.
1547
01:48:37,327 --> 01:48:39,261
Samantha.
1548
01:49:54,671 --> 01:49:57,333
Charge!129250
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