Original subtitles

Hi, Ted!

- Hi! - Hi!

Liberty call. Liberty call.

Liberty commences, to expire on board at 0800 hours.

Liberty call.

- Good luck, Baggs. - Take care, Frank.

Take it easy.

Thank you.

- Baggs? - Yes, ma'am.

Left wrist, please. Thank you.

Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a-a Forshay--

a Lynn Forshay aboard here, would you?

F-- F-O-R-S-H-A-Y.

He'd be a first class or chief boatswain.

No, I'm sorry. Relative of yours?

- No, not hardly, ma'am. - There you go. First door on the right.

- On the right? - Down the hall.

- Wanna watch your ashes? They're dropping. - Sorry.

You see the New York-Philly game last weekend?

I was at sea last weekend, Doc.

See any good movies lately?

- I was on a cruise. - Yeah?

- Yeah. - Where?

- Uh, Caribbean. - Terrific.

Down there a whore knows how to be a whore. Not like here.

What do you think of all this women's lib horseshit?

Give me a break, will you, Doc, please?

- Good morning, Lewis. Is that the new man? - Yes, sir.

- Good morning, son. - Good morning, sir.

Okay. Let's have a look at your keister. Make a wish.

Mind your p's and q's, we'll be pals.

Step out of line, I'll have your ass in formaldehyde.

- Lewis. Lewis, what do you make of this? - Yeah?

Hell, sir, is this supposed to be a pilonidal cyst?

Are you subject to boils?

I've had a couple.

If you had one, you'll have nine. That's what my mother used to say.

My guess is you've just had a boil that finished running its course.

But a pilonidal cyst and a boil on the ass are two different balls of wax.

Take him down.

- Hey, what happens now? - We kick you out of here and back to your ship.

Hey, that's terrific. My, uh-- My ship's leaving day after tomorrow.

Sorry. It'll take longer than that to get your test results and process you out of here.

- Why? - Beats the hell out of me.

- I'll miss my ship. - Sorry, son.

Couldn't you make an exception? Uh--

- You guys behave yourselves now. - Like always!

- That's what I mean. - Sure. Sure.

If I see Forshay, I'll give him your love.

Don't worry. He's in the navy, and so am I. I'll find him.

Ain't gonna be the same without you, Baggs.

Now hear this: the ship is underway.

The ship is under way.

Hey, make sure you get past the breakwater before you sink!

So long!

Hey, buddy, you shouldn't be here. Come on.

Thank you.

- Wait a minute. What's this? - That's a liberty card.

"Expires 2400 hour." What are you giving me, Cinderella liberty?

Well, it's a Cinderella liberty card.

Yeah.

Well, how-- how come?

Regulations. Officially, you're still a patient here.

I'm--

Well, what do you expect me to get done by 12:00 midnight?

The longer you stay here, the less time you'll have to do it.

Is that right?

Well, I'll just-- Might as well stay here and work on you.

Actually, I don't get off duty until midnight.

Mmm! You come with me.

Don't do that. Uh--

- Please, Miss Kathy. - That's right.

Oh--

Listen, uh, it's getting very hot in here.

What? I can't hear you.

I said it's hot. Can we-- I don't feel much like, uh--

- I don't feel much like dancing anymore. - What?

Oh, it's, uh-- it's 10:00 already.

- Can't hear you. - I said that it's 10:00 already.

Dancin'! Whoo!

It's 10:00!

What are you making a scene for?

Come on. I have a table.

Sit down. Let mama take care of you.

Now, sit down. That's right.

- I want another champagne cocktail. - Another champagne cocktail.

- There's a nice ass. - Yeah, well, so's mine.

- Yes, it is. - Mine's better than hers.

- Yes, it is. It's, uh, very nice. - My legs are better too.

- Yes, they are. - In fact, my whole body's better than hers.

Now, where are you going? I want my drink!

Have mercy, Maggie.

Show 'em, Maggie. All the way home.

That's either a cue stick, or a real man just fell in here by mistake.

You want to go again? Hey, anybody, come on. Come on. Hey, hey.

Ain't nobody here knows how to stroke a good stick?

Come on, sweetheart.

I'll give you a little try.

Get the ball. Hey, man, get the ball.

Okay. Come on, Maggie.

- Come on, Maggie! - Come on!

All right. Now, you want a tight rack. There you are.

Comes out of the pocket. No money.

- Hey, you want to play again? - Yeah, I'll try again.

- Okay. - Is that one I give you?

Yeah, just one. Rack 'em up.

You make sure you get a real good, tight rack.

- I'll say. - What are you, Willie Mosconi or something?

Keep it up like this, Maggie, you gonna make enough dough...

to go back to New Orleans.

- Excuse me. - Yeah.

- Oh! - Oh, my!

Yes, ma'am?

Eight ball in the corner pocket.

Yeah, I know that.

Whoo!

Pay the man.

Next?

Tell you what-- I'll, uh-- I'll play you one for 50 bucks.

- Fifty bucks? - Fifty?

Well! Fish, I'd like to get my hook in you...

but I don't have but maybe 20.

- Twenty, huh? - Mm-hmm.

Well, uh, maybe we could work something out.

Tell you what I'll do-- I'll, uh--

I'll play you 50 bucks against somethin'.

I ain't got nothin' worth 50 bucks.

Haven't you?

Whoa!

Sailor, I don't even know you.

Well, that won't take long.

Okay.

Whoo-whee!

New shooter.

Excuse me.

Don't, uh, shade the pocket, please.

Oh!

It all depends on the angle of the dangle.

Guided control snow.

That's the name of the game here.

How do you do?

- What did I do here? - Oh, he's screwed. He can't see it.

I did snooker myself, didn't I?

Try it another way here.

I'll play the eight. All right. We're set.

You gotta be kidding me.

How did I hit it?

Oh, man!

Mama, your little girl's been hustled again.

Listen, I don't, uh-- I don't mean to rush you none...

but I'm on Cinderella liberty, and if I don't get back to the hospital by 12:00...

why, I turn into a pumpkin.

- "Baggs, John, Jr. BM-1." - Yes, ma'am.

You ain't from the psycho ward, are you, John?

No. Uh, pilonidal cyst.

Pile of what?

It's a long story.

Yeah? Well, as long as it ain't crazy and it ain't catching.

Come on, John. I owe you something.

Can I have my hat, please?

Thank you.

You're really a hell of a pool shooter. Where'd you learn?

- Backyard, church. - Church?

Well, we had a little table in the basement.

- Yeah. - Partner, can I beat you out of a quarter?

Oh, yeah.

I need a jug of wine.

- A jug for a quarter? - Sure.

- Well, you got it. - Okay. Thank you very much.

- God bless you. - You bet. God bless you.

How did you know I would pay up?

I'm a-- I'm a good judge of character.

Fifty bucks, huh? Makes me feel expensive.

Well, I guess we're both winners.

I'll tell you what-- next time I'll play you for a hundred.

I ain't cold.

I hope not.

This is it.

Come on.

Oh.

We have to be quiet. My kid's asleep on the sofa.

- You got a kid? - Mm-hmm.

Shh.

No, Dougie, it's all right. It's only me. Go back to sleep.

Just a second. I'll turn on a light.

Excuse me?

- Do you want some help? - Fifteen years, you'd think you'd get--

- Yeah, if you can just grab the top here. - Sure.

Oh, I hate that. Oh, I hate that.

Ahh. Mmm.

Um--

- Just, uh-- - Oh.

Nice.

Um, the springs are very noisy.

This ain't the Holiday Inn.

I didn't mean, uh-- The boy-- wake him up.

He's a heavy sleeper.

Could we, uh--

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

- Okay. - Okay.

Um, c-could I have one for my head too?

Oh. Yeah. Wait.

- Oh, thank you. - Okay?

Mm-hmm.

There's nothing to eat in there.

We always do the marketing on Wednesday.

Today is Wednesday.

Well, I guess we do it on Thursday.

You, uh-- You make a livin' in that place?

You writing a book?

No, no. I'm just-- just curious, is all.

If you're sensitive about it, we'll forget it.

Who's sensitive?

I drink tea, they charge 'em for booze.

I split the difference with the bartender.

- I shoot pool. - Yes, you do.

Doug gets welfare.

And if you want to know the truth, I get favors from sailors...

sometimes.

Yeah. Win a few, lose a few.

Win a few, lose a lot.

Well--

You know how many sailors I've been with?

No. How many?

A lot.

Now me too, huh?

- Now you too. - Well--

Maybe I'll, uh, look you up when I get back from the Med.

- Sure. - Okay.

Uh...

your, uh-- your mom's a good sport.

John Baggs, pal.

Keep your hands to home, you honky faggot.

Yeah, excuse me.

It'll be a matter of a week or two 'fore we can put you together...

with a ship needs a first-class boatswain.

Take this on over to the transient barracks, see the master-at-arms.

Baggs, Biggs, Baggs, Biggs.

Where are we gonna put you, Baggs?

Wing "A"? Psychos, fags and bed wetters?

They're on their way out.

Wing "B"?

Potheads, pill heads and winos. Christ.

Out.

Wing "C"? Gamblers? Thieves?

Peace-and-love freaks.

Ah! Unwelcome around here.

Baggs, for the bathtub?

Humor.

Wing "D"? The old, the lame and the transient.

Baggs, the transient, I think. Don't you?

Welcome aboard.

I don't know what he's talking about.

Yeah, he's always talking some kind of shit. I told that son of a bitch to kiss my ass.

- Yeah, you think he's a faggot? - Let's not worry about him.

- Get it all over me! - Good booze.

- Always steal Schlitz. - Next time rip off some chips too.

I already look knocked up with this six-pack under my coat.

- Hey, look down there. Ain't that Lucille? - Yeah!

Hey, Lucille! You whore!

Hey, you got skinny legs!

She got big tits. They're really hers too.

Her brother's in my gym class, and he really seen 'em.

Oh, man, you believe that bullshit? She's only 12!

I don't care if she's only six. Man, he's seen 'em.

- Wish I had a sister. - You got a mama.

- Oh, man, shut up! - Hey, man, you can say something about my mama.

Your mama swims out to troop ships.

- Your father! - You don't even know who your father is!

I don't need to know. I'm doin' better with my mama.

That old skanchy lady?

You got the ugliest mom in the world. Nobody can pick her up in a bar.

Let them kids off too, all right?

Look at that dude down there.

Hey, man, what's happening?

We only got on. Come on!

You kids live on this damn thing. Give somebody else a chance.

You act like you own the friggin' thing. Goddamn it.

Come here. Come here. Now, give me that beer.

- Go piss up a drainpipe, honky. - Hey!

- Hey, who is this dude? - He's a goddamned child molester faggot.

You watch your mouth now.

Come on. Give me the beer. Give me the beer!

Too cheap to buy your own.

Here. Here's some candy.

I don't eat candy.

- Why don't you eat candy? - He chews chewin' tobacco.

What do you think you are, Walter Brennan?

Hey, look, mister. I gotta make dinner for my sick grandma. Honest!

Just wait till I'm through with you now.

You know, y-you oughta be ashamed of yourselves, the both of you.

You know, my daddy would black-and-blue my bottom for sure. You know that?

- Oh, Christ. - Hey, I said watch your mouth.

Up yours, padre!

Up mine?

- I think your mom should straighten you out. - Let go of me!

Let's go.

Here. Here! Stay put right there.

We come out, you're gone, I'm gonna bust your ass myself personally.

Personally, myself.

Don't you see, baby? You've gotta stayin the navy.

I mean, think of your reenlistment.

- Think of all that dough that you'll lose. - Excuse me.

- I thought you went to sea. - Well--

Listen, I just caught that kid of yours-- that crazy kid-- with a sidekick...

guzzling beer on a Ferris wheel.

Beer. That's right.

He's had beer ever since he was a baby. He loves the stuff.

- That right? - Kid? You never said anything about any crazy kid.

- Well, she's got one. - How old is he?

- Nineteen. - Four.

- Nineteen? - Wait a minute! Don't listen to him!

6'4" too. And crazy.

- You're enough to piss off the pope. - Let's leave him out of this.

- This is between you and me. - What is?

That boy. He was guzzling beer on the Ferris wheel.

That sweet thing's bonus would've been three grand to me.

- I was gettin' to him. - Well, you're not the recruiting office.

- The hell I ain't. - He chews tobacco.

I know.

- You know? - Mm-hmm.

- His teeth are bad. It helps kill the pain. - What are you waitin' for?

Why don't you get 'em fixed? What's the matter with you? What kind of mother are you?

I give up. What kind am I?

- Look, do me a favor, will you, please? - What?

- Here. Look, he's waiting outside. - He--

Yeah.Just go get him something to eat or something.

Or something, okay? But do it before you blow it on booze, all right?

Please?

You got a terrific knack for being nice and a prick all at the same time.

Liberty call! Liberty commences, to expire at 0800 hours!

Liberty call!

Jones.

Hey, Baggs! Just the man I'm looking for.

- Some liberty in mind for tonight? - That's what I'm doing here.

- Somethin' heavy? - Got a date with Grace Kelly.

- Break it. - Hmm?

Oh. No, no. No, no, no. Hey.

You gotta give me a little slack here, chief.

- Come on. Somebody's got to do it. - Let somebody do it.

Look, here, let me help you with this. Look.

I haven't been on a regular liberty since I come back from the Caribbean.

You're a boatswain, right? Rank does have its obligations.

But I'm not a cop. I mean, it's not my style.

Your partner's a kid named Alcott, a real gangbuster.

Listen, I hate-- I hate S.P.'s.

Everybody hates S.P.'s. I mean, I hate 'em.

Check your gear back in here after you finish your watch.

Listen. It'll be worth five dollars to me to get out of it.

Hey, lucky thing I'm hard of hearing.

All right. I don't mean to be difficult.

I'll push it. I'll make it 10.

12.50. 12.50.

Are you still here, Baggs?

Wh-- What, uh--

You couldn't really call it a hobby of mine or anything.

It's just a kind of curiosity.

I think it all started back in boot camp...

when there would be 50 of us jamming into the showers naked.

I mean, you just couldn't help noticing the difference.

I mean, 50 guys, bare-ass naked.

You know, see, some guys, Baggs, are built differently than other guys.

You know what I mean? Let me give you an example.

It's like me and you. I mean, you're built differently than me.

- Right, Baggs? Right? - Uh-huh.

Right. Now that brings me to height.

Oh, yeah, I used to have a complex about my height, Baggs.

But then I went to Japan and I saw those Sumo wrestlers.

And I realized that height isn't everything.

It's your body. Your body is a temple, Baggs.

You take care of your body, and your body will take care of you.

Well, I take care of my body.

Hey, hey, hey! Let me see your I.D.

I'm sure you can tell from my piercing eyes, Baggs, that I'm a Scorpio.

- By your piercing eyes? - Yeah.

You see, Baggs, all us Scorpios are known by our piercing eyes...

and our extremely powerful sex drive.

Hip! Hup! Come on! You move like Girl Scouts.

Column left! Halt!

That's too big, Dennis. You can take that much off.

None of them should ever be that big. A whole quarter can come off.

- Today, guys. Today. Let's go. - Uh, fresh meat. Okay.

You, you and you, get some gear out of the cleaning locker and start to wash the windows.

The rest of you can start to wash the bulkheads. Move, dead asses!

You're not on leave here. Move!

Move. You heard him. Come on. Move!

And don't give me that look either. What's the matter with you?

- You want some trouble? - What's the matter with you?

Ah, they got me doing this garbage during the day...

and pulling S.P. duty at night-- twice, two days in a row.

- Don't drink that stuff. - What's the matter with you?

I'll give you a cup of real coffee. My own special blend.

How long you, uh, gonna be around here?

I don't know. A week.

Gettin' a new ship.

You got anything going ashore?

Nah, nothin' really.

Kind of a--

Ah, some girl I met in a bar.

Got some problems though.

Oh, yeah? What kind of problems?

Uh--

Hey, you ever come across a-- a first or chief by the name of Forshay?

He's got a girl's first name-- Lynn. Lynn Forshay?

- Lynn Forshay. - Yeah.

- Lynn Forshay. - You know him?

No, I guess not. Why? He a friend of yours?

- Hmm? - He a friend of yours?

Oh, he ain't got no friends.

Hey, Stu! Brian dropped the old man's birthday cake.

I don't think we can fix it.

- Throw the damn thing out and bake him another one. - Hey, hold it.

You're gonna throw it-- Could I take it?

All right. Let him have it. Where is that little bastard? I'm gonna kill him!

That's the second cake-- Where is he? Where is he?

- Happy birthday, kid. - Well, you missed me by four months.

Yeah?

I didn't know it was Halloween.

I'll put this in the kitchen.

Put that box over there.

Go on.

Had a little-- little accident there.

You can-- You can scrape the icing off.

Well, thanks for the cake, Baggs.

Oh, that's all right, kid. Any time. My pleasure.

I don't rap with cops.

I'm not a cop.

Listen, uh...

you wanna walk patrol with me?

Yeah, just thought I'd ask.

Bye, Baggs.

Bye, kid.

I give the record to a guy I showered with at the Philly naval base.

Everybody stared at him, not just me.

His name was Frank "The Mule" Wilcox. Maybe you ran into him--

Hey! What do you need me for?

For openers, I can use some intelligent conversation.

- Come on. - Intelligence. I'm glad you brought that up, Baggs.

- Who is he? - Go ahead.

Anyway, intelligence.

I, for one, feel that mental "prowness" and physical "prowness" go hand in hand.

- You know what I mean? - No.

Who wants to get married? I don't.

I'm having too much fun.

Love 'em and leave 'em. Kiss 'em and grieve 'em. That's what I say.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I have anything against marriage.

I was almost married myself once, but things didn't work out.

I was too much man for her.

You know, Baggs, I had too great a sexual appetite.

You know, I guess I owe my sexual "prowness" to vitamin "E," Baggs.

A guy your age-- it wouldn't hurt to look into something like that.

What do you mean, a guy my age?

Unlike you, Baggs, I didn't get a chance to fight in the big one.

You know? W.W. II.

To this day, Baggs, whenever I see a picture of Pearl Harbor...

I go a little crazy inside.

You see that war, Baggs? That war happened because people weren't prepared.

But I am prepared. I am in the best possible physical condition--

Alcott, why don't you give it a little rest, all right?

Come up for air or something.

- You tired, Dougie? - Not me. I never get tired.

Come here.

Come on.Just sit over here for a while, all right?

Rest your feet anyway.

All right? We're gonna take a little walk. We won't be long.

Stay.

What'd you do, child?

Nothin'. Those are my friends.

Greyhound Scenic Cruiser Express Schedule...

is now available for boarding on the loading ramp...

for Seattle, two boat stops only.

Making connections at Seattle--

Let me give you a hand with this here.

Attaboy.

There you go.

- Holy shit! - What?

What are you doing in here?

- Come on. - Will you leave? Will you stop this?

- Will you leave him alone? - Keep your mouth shut.

- Why? - The boy's sleeping. Now, be quiet.

- Come on. Let me see your I.D. - Okay, okay.

- Let me see it. - Every time I turn around, you are lousing up--

- Quick! Let me see it. - I am getting very sick of it.

- Do you understand me? - Come on! Get dressed.

- Leave him alone! You're hurting him! - Get your clothes!

- Will you give me a break, for God's sake? - Keep your voice down!

- You're hurting him! - Keep my voice down? You're breaking my arm!

Get out. Get out. Get out.

- Okay. Okay.Jesus. - What's goin' on?

Nothin'. I'm taking care of it. You go back to sleep.

- Come on. - Ah, you're nuts!

You keep your ass out of here.

I want you out of my room.

I want you out of my place! I want you out of my life!

You got it.

Oh!

Sorry, kid.

Shore Patrol's coming in.

A lot of people will tell you that this astrology stuff is a lot of bull...

but I don't mind telling you, Baggs, that in my case they hit the nail right on the head.

- Hi. - How you doin'?

Baggs? No.

- Baggs. - Forshay.

- Forshay! - Baggs! Whoa!

What? Hey, watch it!

- Go away! Go away! - What's going on? Hey, stop them.

Hey, Baggs! Let me get my clothes on, Baggs!

- Quiet down here! - Don't, Baggs!

Hey!

The old crud was my company commander in boot camp. That crud.

We all want to kill our company commander. You don't do it though.

I didn't do it, did I?

It'll take more than a candy-ass like Baggs to kill old Forshay.

- I'll show you candy-ass. - Hey!

Look, the old guy's getting drummed out of the service, huh?

He's taking it real bad too.

Have some sympathy for the old bastard.

- They're kicking him out? - Yeah.

Okay, you guys. Come on. Let's shake and be friends.

Yeah. I don't have to shake anybody's hand.

I come in here to take a dump, next thing I know I'm flat on my back, bleeding from my mouth.

Shake hands, or it's the brig for the both of you.

Come on.

- Ah. - All right.

Don't do anything dopey, okay?

Forshay.

Hey, Forshay.

- Remember that Christmas morning? - What Christmas morning?

"What Christmas morning?" The one where you had me stand guard over the garbage cans.

Oh, yeah. I have a vague recollection of it.

Uh-huh. About 15 below zero, I believe it was.

The wind was blowin' in off the lake. Remember that nice, stiff wind?

- Oh, yeah. - Six hours you left me out there.

- Six. - Yeah.

- I peed my pants. - Well, that's a good way to keep warm.

Yeah. Froze solid down my leg.

- No! - Yeah. Right down my leg.

- Ooh! - Put my rifle down and crawled in the garbage can.

Well, good riddance to bad rubbish then.

Then you had them take me back to the barracks and throw me in the shower cold.

Cleanliness, next to godliness.

- Next morning I had pneumonia. - No!

Pneumonia.

- Oh, God. - Oh, God.

I never hated anybody as much as you my whole life.

Gee, thanks, Baggs.

- Thanks? - Listen. Listen.

How 'bout a whack of wine, huh?

I got a couple of bottles in my locker.

Yeah? Come on.

What the hell did you expect me to do...

tuck you in at night and sing you a friggin' lullaby?

My job was to make men out of boys.

Now, that-- that makes a fella hard.

You've gotta be screened for a job like that.

That's a lot of bull.

You enjoyed watching us suffer. I know that.

I gotta admit, it wasn't all long hours and little pay.

That's right.

That's right.

Well, you went too far one time, didn't you? They went and got you.

- Now, that was politics. - They went and got you. I want to hear that story.

That little candy-ass said he couldn't swim.

I cured him of that P.D.Q.

I threw him in the pool, and I said, "Now--

Now, you swim or drown, you puny little prick!"

Well, he didn't drown, did he?

No, but he told his father he almost did.

Turned out his father was once...

an unsuccessful candidate for governor of Delaware.

Unsuccessful candidate.

Of Delaware.

They sure stuck it to me after I gave them the best years of my life.

I'm about to be what my mother's always been...

which is the one reason I never liked her.

- What's that? - A civilian without a pension.

Hey, you got a wife?

- No. - Any kids?

- No. - Me neither.

Shoot, shoot, shoot!

Here I come, boys. Shoot it! Shoot it!

All right. Come on.

Come on. No good. No good! No good!

Oh, here we go. Here we go.

- Right here, man! - Good shot. All right.

Whoo! Nice shot, huh?

- Luck. - No, that's skill.

- He couldn't do it again. - Sure he could.

How come you know everything about everything, like some goddamn coach?

Hey, watch your mouth now.

Go preach another corner, padre.

Here we go. Here we go. Come on.

In my hand. Come on. Come on.

- Come on! - Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot! All right!

For an 11 -year-old kid, you're getting to be a pretty fair-sized pain in the ass.

All right!

Come on. Give us the ball, man! We're playing a game.

- All right, all right. - Give us the ball, man!

You better hurry up.

Listen, there's a John Wayne flick downtown I kind of wanna see.

- You wanna go? - John Wayne?

- Yeah. - You're so dumb, you make me sick, whitey.

Well, I'm getting kind of fond of you too, spook.

Come on.

- Four, and five dollars. - Thank you.

- Want some candy? - Nah.

- Sure? - I said no.

Oh, yeah. I forgot.

Listen.

- I wanna fix your teeth. - You some kind of dentist?

Come on.

To the left. To the left. Right, left.

Smith, pick it up! Come on.

I can carry my own bag.

I've been carrying this bag since you were a gleam in your mother's eye.

- Okay. - I'll be right back.

- All right. - Hey. Forshay?

Where you going, home?

That's home.

Let me give you one piece of advice, one old salt to another.

Ah, to hell with advice.

Wait! Ho! Hey!

Ho!

- Anderson. - Anderson: $48.

- Next? - Arnold.

Arnold: $72.

- Next? - Baggs.

Baggs. Baggs?

- I don't have any Baggs here. - You sure?

I should be there. I'm in transit here, waiting for a ship.

I don't have your name on the list here. I can't pay you.

- What am I sup-- - Move on.

- Wait a minute. What am I supposed to do? - Move on!

110.

Oh!

- Well? - Well, they're bound to show up.

They've just been misplaced, I'm sure.

What do you mean "misplaced," you're sure?

- I mean, you gotta find 'em. - I beg your pardon, sailor.

Without records, I can't get paid.

Sir.

I can't get paid, sir.

Well, you're on ice for a while, Baggs.

No pay and no orders until we find your records.

- Until you find them. - I said we'll find them!

If not, we'll just reconstruct them from the microfilm files in Washington.

That'd take weeks, months. I mean, what am I supposed to use for money, sir?

Try Navy Relief.

This seat taken?

Want a beer?

Always.

One more.

I, uh, hear you took Doug to the movies.

Yeah.

It's funny what some folks will do.

Ooh.

Getting down to the bottom of the well there, Johnny.

Yeah.

They lost my pay record.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Maggie! Maggie.

- Oh, go screw. - Ready whenever you are.

I wouldn't want to make your hand jealous.

Hey, sweet thing. You're puttin' on a couple of pounds.

- What'd you do, swallow a pumpkin seed? - Look, hey, peckerhead.

This is my barstool, my beer and my broad.

- So beat it. - Okay.

- Now. - Okay. No offense.

My goodness.

You sure are some fast worker.

Already we're kissing on the mouth.

Hmm.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Sure.

What's your religion?

- My religion? - Mm-hmm.

Why?

I wanna know.

Well, I guess, uh...

I'm a ba-- basement Baptist.

Basement Baptist.

- A what? - Basement Baptist.

What?

See, my-- my, uh--

my daddy, he was a janitor in a church.

On Sundays...

I'd, um...

help him keep the furnace going.

Yeah.

He was a good old guy.

Played the mandolin.

Hmm.

He's religious, ain't he?

Was, yeah.

He died when I was 12.

And, uh...

when I was 16, my, uh, ma remarried.

You should have seen this jerk she married.

What a jerk.

Slept with his socks on.

And, uh, when I was old enough, I enlisted.

Listen, what I want to know is...

do you have a lot of rules you have to follow?

Don't do this, don't do that. Stuff like that?

Well, a few homemaders is all, I guess.

Yeah? Like what?

Well...

I don't-- I don't use, uh, bad language, for one thing.

What else?

- What else? - Mm-hmm.

Well, um, I don't like lyin'.

- Why not? - Why not?

It just ain't right, that's all. It's not right.

Do you realize where I'd be if I never told a lie?

Christ, Baggs.

- Watch your mouth, now. - You see?

See? Won't be able to open my mouth up around you.

What else, Saint John? Hmm?

I'll bet there's a kicker. What else?

Well, I won't-- I won't ever hit you. Uh-uh.

That's for sure.

- You won't, huh? - No, ma'am. No way.

Sure, Daddy.

- What's that? - Souvenir.

Don't jump in over your head, Daddy.

Mm-mmm.

Cut it out. You sound like a whore.

I, um--

I like you.

But, um, we ain't in a position for a steady thing.

I, uh-- I got some worries...

and it's gonna be harder for me later on.

Well, whatever comes up, I'll handle it.

I think you better go.

If you say so.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I might not be by tomorrow.

Okay. I'll see you when you do come by.

I'll be by tomorrow.

I might not be here.

I'll see you when you are.

I'll be here.

Who wants to waste time with this crap?

I know what I think he wants to see.

Why don't you meet me in the cafeteria in about 10 minutes?

Come on. I'll show you something.

Right here.

How 'bout this, huh? That's radar.

Keen, huh?

Look at all this here. See, that's a tachometer-- revolutions per minute.

That's the rudder. That's the engine tiller drive.

Yeah. The compass.

- Wow! - The wheel.

How 'bout that?

You can hardly hear in here!

I'm sure glad you aren't hungry. What are you doing?

What?

Get your sleeve out of that.

Gosh darn.

- Can't take him anywhere. - Anywhere but out.

- I'm goin'. - Where you goin'?

To meet Sam. What's it to you?

Well, just make sure you're home early.

I'll tell you one thing-- Sure knows what to do with a tray of food.

When he was two years old...

I used to take him to this place on Rampart Street.

They used to have a Wednesday night special.

All the shrimp you could eat for a buck, 95.

Two years old. Boy, could he put away shrimp.

Just try and see how many shrimp you can get here for a buck, 95.

Yeah, well, it's always better where you been than where you are.

The thing is, it really is better in New Orleans.

Hell, a phone call only costs a nickel.

I don't care.

I got no one I care to talk to except you.

We used to have a wrought iron gate in front of our place.

You needed a special key to get in.

Yeah?

Would you hand me that wrench over there?

Oh. Here.

No, no, no. It's that, uh, chrome-looking thing.

It's got a little, uh--

That a girl.

You see, the thing is...

at night you don't so much hear the music as you feel it.

You could place your hand on a window and get the music right through your fingertips.

- It's awful nice, Johnny. - Yeah?

Well, maybe I'll buy a car or somethin'.

Oh!

- Who's that? - I don't know. I'll get it.

- Hide! - What?

- Under the bed. Hide. - Why?

It's my goddamn social worker.

Watch your mouth. I didn't even know you had a social worker.

Uh, Miss Watkins, what a pleasant surprise.

Uh, my brother from New Orleans.

How do you do? I'm not really her brother.

This is a hell of a way to waste your time.

- Can't we find Miss Watkins a date, Johnny? - Well--

I don't enjoy this sort of thing, nor do the taxpayers enjoy paying for welfare.

Where is Douglas?

- He's all right. Tell her. Isn't he all right? - He's all right.

There is wine in this refrigerator.

There's no milk in this refrigerator.

Look, Doug hates milk. The wine is his. He brought it with him.

I hope you haven't been misusing your food stamps.

Would you like me to tell you where you could paste your food stamps?

- I don't think she-- - I'll tell her!

The razor is mine. I have to shave my legs, don't I?

Do you also have to splash Aqua Velva on them?

What if I do? What the hell if I do?

Uh, are you assuming the role?

- Ma'am? - Are you assuming the role of spouse?

- Uh, I don't quite get that. - He's a boy I know.

For cryin' out loud, don't I have the right to know a boy?

How much are you contributing to the support of this family?

Oh. Uh, I see. They lost my records. I don't have a dime.

- Does she give you money? - You don't have to answer her.

Are you the father of her child?

Ma'am?

Are you the father of her child?

Well, do I look like the father of her child?

I mean, the one she's carrying now.

Thanks a lot, Miss Watkins. You're a friggin' peach.

You're gonna have another baby?

It was before I met you, Johnny.

How could I know that you'd come along? How could I know that?

What color is this one gonna be?

Purple.

Okay?

I tried to tell you.

Well, what's the rush? Why didn't you wait till the little bastard was born?

I'm glad you ain't the father.

You call a person names before he's even a person!

All right, how long have you been living here assuming the role of spouse?

Lady, I'm a sailor in transit, which is the only role I give a royal shit about.

- Say good-bye to Doug for me. - Bastard!

You're the real bastard! You!

I didn't tell you because I knew that you'd act like this!

You don't care about me and you don't care about my kid!

All you care about is getting laid for free!

You're nothing but a lousy sailor...

and I hate you!

I hate all sailors.

- You got a lot of women on the Eastern Seaboard. - Yeah.

You got Maine, you got New Hampshire...

you got, uh, Vermont...

you got, uh--

Connecticut...

you got New Jersey.

Which brings us to where I lived. I used to live in Atlantic City.

We used to go underneath the boardwalk and hide...

so we could look under the girls' skirts.

Yeah? You ever catch any without their panties?

No.

Beautiful.

Yeah. Figures, doesn't it?

- That'll be $3,200. - $3,200.

- Yes. - $3,200?

I'm unbeatable at this game. It's because I'm from Atlantic City.

I ain't got it. Cleans me out.

Baggs, you got the Midas touch in reverse.

- There are people like that. - What do you mean?

Well, nothin' personal, but everything you touch turns to shit.

See?

You'll never get anywhere in the business world being so sensitive.

Don't be shy, my boy!

You'll see things you've never seen before in your whole life!

Come on in, boys. The show starts in five minutes!

See this sea of feminine pulchritude direct from Paris, France.

Step right up, boys. Come on. We're about to start this show.

She's topless! She's bottomless! She's reckless!

No forward, no cover charge, no minimum!

Come on in, boys!

You never seen anything like this! She's a beaut!

Hey, Mike! Let these two in on a special deal!

That's it. Go on up, boys. You'll have a great time.

Forshay.

Baggs. Hello, Baggs!

How do you like this outfit, Baggs?

You can't keep a good man down. Hmm?

Come on, let's go back into my office.

We'll chew the rat for a bit, huh?

Show time! Show time!

Give it to 'em.

You don't look so good, Baggs. Here, sit.

Look at you.

I'm not doin' so bad.

Can you believe it?

Hey. Hey!

Go home!

How'd you like to take a runnin' jump at that, Baggs, huh?

Hey, knucklehead, what are you doing back here?

- Your place is up there. Savvy? - Yes, sir.

- Get going! Hurry up! Chop-chop! - Yes, sir. Right away.

- Who's this jerk? - He's a friend of mine.

Well, friend or no friend, take him up there and make him pay!

Right away, sir.

Up your ying-yang, slanty.

He works me like a goddamn coolie.

Watch your mouth, please.

You look lousy, Baggs. What's the matter with you?

Well, I guess nothing's as easy as it used to be.

Well, this ain't exactly like standing tall in the service of your country.

Here, let me show you something.

This was--

This when I was 17 beautiful years old.

You were a good-looking kid.

You ever been in love, Forshay?

I tell you, Baggs, I don't believe I have.

That's because I happen to be one of those incurable romantics.

Every time I meet a girl, I expect to hear a clap of thunder.

I never heard the thunder, but occasionally I did get the clap.

Show time! Show time here!

Step right up and see Angela Poontang! There you are, everybody.

Quickly, inside. Show starts in five minutes.

Hear that? That's it. Go up. You'll enjoy yourself.

Step right up and see Laura and--

- Hey, I'm gonna talk to this kid for a minute. - Sure.

What's wrong?

Nothin'.

Not exactly.

What's that mean?

They cut off our welfare money.

Why?

They said there was a man assumin' the role of spouse.

You.

It ain't good for the baby if she drinks.

I suppose it ain't.

She don't do as good when you're not there.

Neither do I.

Then lighten up, man. It happened before she met you.

Besides, I can't hack it by myself. I'm only 11. Remember?

Don't tell her I was by.

I won't.

Hi, kid.

Huh?

What?

She's sick.

- What's the matter? - Booze.

Oh.

Johnny?

You're a mess.

Oh, just...

a stomachache.

I'll be right back.

- You have some tomato juice? - We got V-8 juice.

- Open that for me, will ya, chief? - Open it yourself.

Uh, lemon. You got lemon?

- Vinegar. - Vinegar.

Why not?

Now, we need a little roughage here.

Don't have to be fresh...

which I'm sure this is not.

A pinch of that here.

What you tryin' to do, kill her?

Oughta do it.

Mmm.

Ohh. Delicious.

Who made this?

- He did. - He did.

Well, what I don't drink I can use to kill roaches.

Well...

at least you look somewhat alive now.

I'll bet you say that to all the girls.

I gotta meet a friend.

Sure like that kid.

Yeah.

He's moody as hell.

Why's that?

Just his way.

Who's his daddy?

A fella I knew in New Orleans.

Married to him?

No.

How come?

He had a rotten personality.

Well--

how about mine?

What are we playin', 20 Questions?

No, I'm just trying to get you to say something nice for once.

I'm glad you're back.

But it ain't gonna work.

It will.

It ain't possible.

Now, see, there are a lot of people...

that will tell you what's possible and what ain't.

A lot.

Especially if you're a woman.

You just-- just don't listen to 'em.

I don't.

You should just listen to me.

Why should I?

Well...

why don't you just try it?

I can hear the sea.

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Hoo-hoo!

What do you wanna name the kid?

- Eldridge. - Eldridge?

Yeah. He wants to name the baby after Eldridge Cleaver.

Cut it out. I haven't decided yet.

- Why'd you name Doug Doug? - You ain't gonna believe it.

Yeah, I will.

- I named him after Douglas MacArthur. - What?

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Why don't you name the baby?

- Me? - Yeah. You're my old man, ain't ya?

Stokely. How 'bout we name the kid Stokely?

Stokely.

Lead with your hands.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Dig into me. Dig into me.

Come on, stick me!

All right! Bam!

Whoo-hoo!

Come on! Pump that leg! Pump, pump, pump, pump!

- Yeah! - Attaboy!

Uh, no more for me. Thank you.

No, it was-- it was good.

What do you think about me going back to the bars and picking up some dough?

- Nothin' doin'. - Well, som--

Um, Dougie, could I have some hot coffee, please?

Some fellas go for pregnant--

I don't wanna hear it. If you wanna work, that's fine with me.

Get yourself a nice job in Woolworth's or something.

Well, they don't take pregnant chicks neither.

Yeah, well--

How do you know if you never try?

Who asked you?

See, I been, uh, rackin' my brain here.

I know you have.

Don't worry. Somethin'll shake loose soon.

Well, see, I, uh--

I been tiptoein' around a possible solution.

Well, let's not have secrets. What is it?

Well, I thought, uh, we could get married.

Now I've heard everything.

The advantage to, uh, um--

Excuse me-- that particular plan is that, uh...

you and Doug could, uh, receive navy benefits.

See?

Uh, navy benefits?

They'd pick up the whole tab for the baby and everything.

Now, I want you to know, uh-- that, uh--

I mean, I don't hold this thing so sacred. I want you to know that.

I mean, some fine-lookin' girl could come by--

That's somethin' I've never seen before, and, "whang"-- I'm ready.

This is somethin' that you should know, Doug.

This is somethin' that you're gonna find out eventually, by yourself.

What I mean is that, uh--

- You know, about men and, uh-- - I already know.

Yeah.

I know.

Well, the thing of it is, you know, the--

the baby would be legitimate.

That's right.

We could name it John Jr.

I sure would like that.

That's no good. I'm John Jr.

It'd have to be John Baggs the Third.

- Third. - Third?

- Yes, ma'am. - That's even better.

Somebody named John Baggs the Third is gonna have a steady job.

At the first sign of a hassle--

I mean, the very first sign--

I would, uh, wanna feel free t-to go elsewhere.

I mean, if it can't be like that, well, then there's just no sense in discussing it.

I mean, no sense in discussing it at all.

I sure never thought it would come to this.

See, and as soon as I, uh-- I could get you an I.D. card...

well, then, we could have Doug's, uh, teeth fixed.

That would be the first benefit we'd use--

get Doug's teeth fixed.

Did you hear that, Doug?

Huh?

You know what else?

I wanna go shopping at the P.X.

All right.

I wanna walk in, show 'em my card and buy things.

That's fine.

You know what I wanna buy? You're gonna laugh.

No, I won't. I won't laugh.

I wanna buy dusting powder for when you get out of the tub.

Dust--

Well, it makes you feel better...

if you're dry and you smell nice.

That's fine.

Dusting powder.

- Oh. - Losers. Both of you.

- That is the most asshole thing I've ever heard! - Sorry, sir.

Jesus, Baggs.

You know, you sound like a bright--

You sound like a bright young man.

- Did you graduate from high school? - Yes, sir, I sure did.

Well, then maybe you can tell me--

Why does a bright boy like you...

a high school graduate...

go out and marry a barroom whore?

Sir, I must respectfully--

- You must respectfully shit. - Yes, sir.

What are you gonna tell me now? She's not a barroom whore?

- No, sir, she's not a b-- - Aw, Christ!

They should make a study.

They should make a study about why so many of our bright boys...

wind up with these champagne cocktail-sipping...

cock-teasing, downtown barroom whores.

She-- She's gonna have a baby, sir.

Yours?

Um, no, sir.

- Hmm? - Excuse me. Uh, no, sir.

Well, my God, man, what--

You see, sir, all I really want is a--

a-an I.D. card for her and the boy...

so they can get dependent benefits.

See, the boy has a mouthful of rotten teeth, sir--

Baggs, you are not officially married, not in the eyes of the navy.

Well, sir, in the eyes of the state of Washington and the rest of the world, I sure am.

You may think you're in the state of Washington. What you're in is the navy.

You are not married, nor can you get married, unless you put in a chit.

Well, sir, I'll put in a chit.

You have no records.

You mean, I can't put in a chit unless I--

That's right.

Well, how-- Well--

Baggs, you simply are not married.

Well, sir, my, uh-- my wife's gonna be real sorry to hear that.

Don't cry, Maggie. Come on.

Finally marry me a sailor, and I don't get nothin'.

- Nothin'! - Shh, shh.

Why is it everybody else gets chicken and I always get the feathers?

That son of a bitch.

What?

Would you describe yourself as a, um...

"champagne cocktail-sippin'...

cock-teasin', downtown barroom whore"?

Second-generation.

Well, I don't know how yet, but all I can tell you is...

the third ain't gonna be anything like the first two were.

I'll tell you that.

I sure hope not.

- Oh, Miss Watkins. - Yes?

Uh, I guess you don't remember me.

Oh, yes. You're the man assuming the role of Maggie Paul's spouse.

No, ma'am. I'm not assuming anything.

This is an unusual case.

Can we get the aid? Just for a little while, till they come up with my records.

Well, I'll reopen Maggie's file.

I'll have to verify your marriage license, so make up a new budget.

- Okay. - Sign here.

I'll have to check with the navy regarding your financial status.

Oh.

I'll have to verify that you're getting no money from them.

This'll take a few weeks.

That's all right. I'm used to waitin'.

- Can I ask you something off the record? - Sure.

Why did you--

What made you take responsibility for them?

Well, it, uh--

it makes me feel good.

I mean, it, uh...

makes me feel terrible...

but, uh, it makes me feel good.

Hey, partner. Excuse me.

You got the right time, please?

- Yeah. It's 9:15. - Thank you.

Hey, get off of that thing.

Get off!

- Here I am. What do you want? - I'll tell you what I want.

Come here. Boy, that's dumb.

Listen, we're gonna walk through this place, and I want you to behave yourself.

Just act natural. Do you hear me?

That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. I mean, that's really dumb.

- Saved 15 cents. - Save you a smack in the butt.

What's the matter with you? You crazy?

- Hey, how you doin'? - Fine.

- Why you always got to come on like a faggot? - Just keep quiet.

And look like you belong to me. Come on. Get in there.

It's a mess, all right.

You're looking in the mouth of poverty, Doc. I guarantee you.

Don't you ever brush, kid?

- What? - He says he bleeds when he brushes.

- No wonder. - I didn't know that, Dougie.

- Shh. - What?

- Quiet! - What?

If they catch us in here, we're gonna be a couple of sorry sailors.

- I locked the door. - The old man's got a key.

Doc, please. You're wastin' time.

I'm not a dentist. I'm just a corpsman.

Oh, come on, now, Doc.

I know you been watching dentists work for-- How long you been in?

- Three years? - Hitches.

Three hitches.

Just this little bit of work that I've seen you do here, on this boy here--

it's incredible to me, your hands and everything.

I mean...

I know that you know everything there is to know about fixing teeth.

Maybe so, but this is some set.

Yeah.

Boy won't even smile, Doc.

I'll do what I can.

God bless you. Really, Doc.

Well...

don't expect no miracles.

Oop.

Well...

here goes nothin'.

You're earnin' your seat in heaven today.

Yes, you are.

Okay, kid, rinse.

That's it.

Hey, listen, I-- I, uh-- I watched everything you did.

No kiddin', I mean, that's just brilliant, brilliant work.

You ain't a dentist, you're an artist. That's what I think.

Well, there's still a whole hell of a lot to do.

A few could be pulled, a few could be saved with gold crowns.

- Terrific. We'll come back tomorrow night. - Huh?

No! Wait a second. He can't come back tomorrow night.

You don't understand. I can't handle serious stuff like that.

Find a book, study up. You'll do fine. Really.

Yeah-- No! You don't understand! It's root canal! It's all kind of intricate stuff!

How you feel?

Still numb.

You didn't cry one time.

Nothin' can make me cry.

Yeah, yeah. After another couple visits, you'll be smilin' like Sidney Poitier.

Maggie?

Maggie, come on out here. I got a little surprise package for you.

Come on.

This is fuckin' ridiculous.

Hey, now, you're gonna have to watch your mouth. You know what I mean?

Enough's enough. And I mean it.

- Maggie? - I feel stupid.

Mag? What's the matter? Don't you feel so good?

I just feel a little creepy.

Well, I've got somethin' to make you feel a little better. A little surprise.

- What? - I'll show you.

- What is it? - Well, can you wait a minute?

Look at that.

- This is the surprise? - Now, wait a minute.

- Ladies and gents of the jury-- - I feel like a moron.

Well, wait now. Exhibit "A"!

How about that?

- So? - Well, show her. Go on.

Oh.

Oh, my. Oh, my.

Oh--

Oh! Oh, my! Ohh!

- Ohh! Ohh! - What is it?

- My-- My water is breaking! - It's only seven months, though.

- Well, I know! - Can't have a baby after seven months.

- He's right! - I know he's right.

Oh.

What's happening? What do you want me to do?

What do you want him to do?

- Get my stuff ready! - Get her stuff ready.

- Oh, and you'd better call the hospital too! - Call the hospital, Doug!

Yeah.

Um, w-w-w-what do we do?

We cut out hot baths and sex.

Oh, Johnny.

You have a way about you.

I think I'd better examine you, dear.

- Raise your legs for me, dear. - Certainly.

Yes, I think we're gonna have company.

About eight and a half centimeters dilated.

We can move you to the delivery room now.

Well, won't be long now.

- Oh. Oh, uh, could he come with me? - What?

Don't you want to watch your child being born?

- They don't allow that, do they? - Sometimes. I can check with the doctor.

- Oh. - Okay.

I didn't know they allowed that.

M-Maybe they don't allow it.

He's willing if you are.

Ohh. I'm willing if he is.

Well, uh, s-sure. Sure. I, uh--

- Shall we move her? - I didn't know they allowed that.

Raise your hips now.

It's coming. It's coming!

Well, what the well-dressed dude will wear.

If you feel faint, just leave. If I order you out, I want you to get out quietly and quickly.

- Otherwise, enjoy yourself. - Yes, sir.

- Can you see? - Mm-hmm. Yes, sir.

Ohh, God!

That's a girl.

Good girl. Push!

- Bear down. - Okay.

All right, now once again.

- Here we go. - Push!

- Good. Good. - That's a girl.

- Beautiful. - All right.

Get down there a little more.

Hold your breath. Push.

- That's a girl. That's a girl. - Work with-- That's good.

Harder.

- Harder. - That's good.

Oh, God.

Come on. Once again. Here we go. Help me. - Okay. Okay.

Push!

It's a boy.

A boy! A boy!

A boy.

Get all that stuff.

Susan, hold on to that.

Oh, a boy. A sweet baby boy.

Ohh.

I'm starving.

What's the matter?

I'm just, uh--

What?

Put this silly mask on backwards or somethin'.

Oh.

Just remember, if somebody stops us, you're 13. You got that? Thirteen?

What color is he?

You won't believe this. He come out, he was blue, pink, black, white, what-all.

Course he won't stay like that.

When they give him a bath, he'll just turn into his natural color.

- Which is? - Same as us. Come on.

Dr. Marsden, 5-1-5.

He's a honky, ain't he?

Yeah, I'm afraid he is.

Shit. I guess it ain't his fault.

Hey. How's the new mama?

Oh, fine.

So?

He's awful small, Johnny.

He'll grow.

We ain't gonna be able to take him home with us.

They said not for maybe a week or so.

I think he's all sickly.

- Ah-- - I should've took better care of myself.

Hey, Maggie, it's-- it's not your fault.

I mean, uh, it's all right.

- You know what happened early this morning? - Hmm?

The weirdest thing.

I went down to see him, and I must have been dreamin'...

'cause I thought he looked at me and said, "Could I have my old room back now?"

- His old room back? - Yeah.

Having a baby does funny things to you.

Twenty-four hours ago he didn't exist...

and then, uh, I'd throw myself under a train for him now.

He ain't even yours.

Ah, it don't matter.

He is, though, 'cause you said he was.

That's right.

Oh, everything's gonna work out now. Babies bring good luck.

Yeah, well, we're due.

Mm-hmm.

What?

I, uh--

I love you, Maggie.

I swear to God I do.

I love you.

I love you too.

Don't seem fair, coming to a hospital to have a baby...

and going home empty-handed.

Well, it still won't be long. Only five or six days.

Good-bye, John the Third.

Bye-bye.

- Oh, we'll come visit tomorrow? - Oh, you bet.

It'll be all right. Give us a chance to get ready for him.

So long, kid.

Dr. Ewing and Dr. Fremont, call Westley immediately.

Dr. Ewing and Dr. Fremont--

There you go.

Give me five, Baggs.

It's a little something I picked up for the baby.

- Come on! - You tell him it's from Uncle Forshay.

That right? Here.

Hey.

Hey, that's really nice of you. No kiddin'.

That is somethin'.

- I made him a boatswain, just like us. - That's really sweet.

I tell ya, he's a-- he's a hell of a kid. A hell of a kid.

Little on the small side, but he's a hell of a kid.

Sons, Baggs.

You gotta have sons. Or what the hell have you got?

Well...

you could have daughters.

Nothin' wrong with that.

You gotta have somethin', goddamn it.

Watch your mouth, please.

I'm sorry.

Well, I got him.

I got a son.

It was the hospital.

Come on. Come on, honey.

I'm going with you.

Maggie, don't blame yourself.

Johnny.

I'm sorry, son. Terribly sorry.

Maybe you'd better rest a minute.

Look out, son.

- Leave her alone! Leave her-- - Hey! All right.

Hold him. Hold him.

- Are you all right? - Mmm.

Are you all right, son?

Yeah, I'm fine.

- Okay. All right, let him go. - I'm fine.

- Come on. - All right, all right.

I'm glad he's out of it.

If you have to die anyway...

you're better off doing it in the first week.

You're better off never even being born.

Shut up, Maggie, please, will ya.

I oughta give Doug up for adoption.

Stop talkin' crazy.

He needs a home.

He has a home.

I'm sick...

of the whole thing.

I'm so...

tired.

Maggie?

Now, take that stuff off and stay to home, Maggie.

Please?

I gotta get out of here, or I'm a dead one, for sure.

Wait a minute. Look, see, I got it all figured out.

See, I'm applying for a hardship discharge.

- As soon as they find my records-- - Oh, crap.

That's where I came in.

I'm, uh-- I'm writin' a U.S. senator, a United States senator.

I got his name down there at city hall. I'm gonna tell him all about us.

That oughta keep him in stitches.

Uh, listen to this here.

"I'm only asking for what I'm entitled to."

- Can you say that? - You can say whatever you want to.

Maggie, see, it'll work, now, honey.

We'll move to New Orleans, we'll buy a house. You just gotta trust me.

Trust you?

Trust you?

Keep me out of your lousy pipe dreams!

Please!

Goddamn it!

- Maggie. - No.

Maggie! You gotta hang on, Maggie, a little longer.

We love each other, Mag!

Love is shit with sugar on it!

I can shoot drunk or sober.

You wanna see perfection?

You just stand right over there.

All right. Here we go.

What'll you have, Baggs?

Nothin', I guess.

Rack 'em up.

Excuse me. Sorry, fella.

Twice to the right...

14 to the left...

and 14 to 22 to the right.

2-3-0. Ah-ah-ah!

Shit.

Can't even see my fingers, let alone the numbers.

Shit.

Hey, you awake?

- Hmm? - Are you awake?

- Yeah. - Would you hold this light for me, please?

I can't see anything.

Yeah.

Terrific. Terrific.

Hah!

Thanks.

Hey, wait a minute.

- You're Baggs, aren't you? - Yeah.

Hey, ain't you the one they lost the records?

That's right.

- They found 'em today. - Is that right?

We was movin' file cabinets to buff the deck...

and we found your records stuck behind a cabinet.

You know, you got well over a thousand bucks in back pay comin'.

Thousand bucks, huh?

They rushed through a set of orders on you too.

I was there.

Where am I goin'?

The Lasalle!

We leave the day after tomorrow for the Med! For the Med!

Shit!

Maggie?

Maggie, get dressed! We're goin' to the P.X.!

You too, hot dog. They found my friggin' records.

- Yeah. - Yeah? Yeah! You bet your ass, yeah.

That's the best you can do? Look at this-- $1,400.

Fourteen hundred. You ever see that before? Fourteen hundred?

- What, you goin' somewhere? - You tell me.

Maggie?

"Dear Johnny--

"Doug is yours.

"I'm on my way to New Orleans.

"Once I get there everything will be fine, and I h--

"hope that everything will be fine with you all too.

"The boy I'm goin'--

"The boy I'm goin' with said I--

"I shouldn't bother with this note...

"but I told him, 'Well, I certainly am goin' to bother.'

"Doug'll understand.

He'll be better off with you anyway. Love, Maggie."

She always did wanna go to New Orleans.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I got my orders, and we gotta ship.

Goin' overseas tomorrow morning at 8:00.

Think I'll head for California.

Hitch a ride, maybe jump a freight.

I guess I, uh, oughta talk to Miss Watkins.

Gotta turn you over to somebody.

Don't try it. You'll get this between your ribs.

Look, Doug, I mean, somebody can adopt you now.

These guys that adopt kids, they got a lot of money. I mean, plenty of money.

You'd have a--

You'd have your own house and real parents...

not just some sailor like me who's always off somewhere.

It's my life. That's what I like.

Have your own room and, uh, maybe your own bed.

Be able to go to camp in the summertime. That'd be nice, wouldn't it?

Huh?

Come here.

Come on.

Shit.

Shit.

Hey, listen up.

If I'm not here by 7:00 in the morning, you take a taxi down to the piers.

Down to Pier 5. You got that? If I'm not here by 7:00.

Now, look. Here.

You take this.

You get yourself some hamburgers, some ice cream or somethin'.

And you be there, Pier 5, if I'm not here by 7:00. You got that?

Now, don't forget.

Stewart, Ames. Request permission to come aboard.

Permission granted.

- Stewart, Ames. - Carry on.

Brown, Seymour F. Request permission to come aboard, sir.

- Permission granted. - Name?

- Brown, Seymour F. - Jones, Philip F.

- Request permission to come aboard, sir. - Permission granted.

Whitford, Scott. Request permission to come aboard, sir.

Permission granted.

- Name? - Mugford, Sonny.

Carry on.

Pullingham, David R. Request permission to come aboard, sir.

Permission granted.

- Name? - Pullingham, David R.

Wolfe, Tyler. Request permission to come aboard, sir.

Permission granted.

- Name? - Wolfe, Tyler.

Mister, I'm looking for a sailor-- John Baggs.

He's a whatchamacallit-- boatswain.

Get out of the way, kid. We're busy.

Kuzmer, Lawrence A. Request permission to come aboard, sir.

Permission granted.

- Name? - Kuzmer, Lawrence A.

- Carry on. - Baggs, John, Jr.

Request permission to come aboard, sir.

Permission granted.

- Name? - Baggs, John, Jr.

Carry on.

- Come on. Come on. - What's going on?

Let's go.

- You like shrimp? - Love 'em.

- You do, huh? - Yeah.

Hear they got some good ones down there in New Orleans.

- Yeah. 1.95, you get a big basket. - 1.95?

Yeah. Rampart Street.

- You ever eat a whole basket? - Once.

Get outta here.