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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,089 --> 00:00:03,264 Previously onYoung Sheldon... 2 00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:04,352 You must be Coach Ballard's ex-wife. 3 00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:06,658 Yeah. Why? 4 00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:08,617 I'm kind of dating your ex-husband. 5 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,358 I knew who you were the whole time. 6 00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:11,489 That's why I came over here. 7 00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,404 Nicely played. 8 00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,232 We ought to go out for drinks one night. 9 00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:16,364 Hell yeah![laughs] 10 00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,235 Yee-haw! 11 00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:22,413 ADULT SHELDON: College is a time for new experiences, 12 00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:25,416 being exposed to exciting ways of thinking, 13 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,462 meeting people from different backgrounds, 14 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:30,813 and the unexpected visit from your dad in gym shorts. 15 00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:32,075 Hey. 16 00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,729 What are you doing here? 17 00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,426 I got a phone call. 18 00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,428 Apparently, the head of the college wants to talk to us. 19 00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:40,344 Oh, good. You sure it's good? 20 00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,390 Well, it's better than what I thought when I saw you, 21 00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:44,087 which was, "Uh-oh, Meemaw died." Come on. 22 00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:46,829 I was hoping in college you wouldn't 23 00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:48,570 get called to the principal's office anymore. 24 00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,572 She's not the principal. She's the president. 25 00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:52,443 GEORGE SR.: So if you're in trouble, you're in big trouble. 26 00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:54,489 SHELDON: That's a fun way to look at it. 27 00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:56,839 Gentlemen, please have a seat. 28 00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:58,493 GEORGE SR. Sheldon's only been here a few weeks. 29 00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,625 I hope he's not in trouble already. 30 00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:02,192 What kind of trouble? Did something happen? 31 00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:03,541 Ooh, maybe it's from when I decided... 32 00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,021 Uh, uh, all good. 33 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,067 Uh, you keep talking. 34 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:09,069 Well, I'll just get right to the point. 35 00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:11,071 Uh, I would like you and your son 36 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,943 to meet with a very important benefactor of the college. 37 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:14,987 Why us? 38 00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:17,120 Well, I mean, Sheldon is... 39 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,426 is an impressive addition 40 00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,819 to the physics program, 41 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:23,387 and-and we like our donors to feel really good 42 00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:25,172 about where their money's going. 43 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,130 I get it. You want the star quarterback 44 00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:28,784 to shake some hands with the boosters. 45 00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:30,481 Exactly.I'm not doing that. 46 00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:32,657 I didn't shake her hand, and she's the president. 47 00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:34,964 No, you don't have to shake anybody's hand. 48 00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:36,226 Then why did you say it? 49 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:38,272 I didn't say it. He said it. 50 00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,664 But you agreed with it. 51 00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:42,493 All I'm asking you to do is to go to dinner, 52 00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:45,540 talk about science with a very nice and, more importantly, 53 00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,368 a very rich person. 54 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,673 Understood. 55 00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:50,806 No, thank you.Buddy... 56 00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:54,288 All right, uh, Sheldon, I was brought to this school 57 00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:57,987 to help raise its profile, and one of the ways to do that 58 00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,207 is through grants and donations. 59 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,470 You-you can understand that, right? 60 00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,776 I understand that you would like to put the novelty of my age 61 00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:07,170 and advanced intellect on display to raise some cash. 62 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,303 [laughs]: No. Sort of. 63 00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,870 Can I speak to you alone?Will you give us a minute? 64 00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:13,655 Very well. But if you're looking to see 65 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:15,700 if my father will be a potential donor, 66 00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:17,746 you are barking up the wrong tree. 67 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,663 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 68 00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:24,927 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain 69 00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:27,408 ♪ I bet I could be your hero 70 00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:29,932 ♪ I am a mighty little man 71 00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:33,675 ♪ I am a mighty little man.♪ 72 00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:38,723 HAGEMAYER: So... 73 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:41,770 how do we get your son to cooperate? 74 00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,164 I've been asking myself that since day one. 75 00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:45,948 Look, I don't mean to put pressure on you, 76 00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,819 but there's a lot of pressure on me, 77 00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:49,560 so I'm going to put it on you. 78 00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:51,649 Look, I'm sorry, isn't there anyone else 79 00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,738 who can go to dinner with this guy? 80 00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:56,480 So I have a unicorn in my zoo, 81 00:02:56,524 --> 00:03:00,049 but I should trot out a goat, is that what you're saying? 82 00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:02,399 Would you donate a new library 83 00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:04,053 to have dinner with a goat? 84 00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:05,750 What restaurant? 85 00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:07,056 [sighs] 86 00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:10,277 Mr. Cooper, I need you to understand something. 87 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:14,542 This university relies on donations for everything. 88 00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:16,674 For upkeep, for salaries, 89 00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:20,809 for scholarships, like the one your son is currently on. 90 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,724 I'll talk to him. 91 00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,813 Thank you. 92 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:29,731 And when you go to dinner, wear real pants. 93 00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,083 So, there's this thing 94 00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:36,303 at school I really want to go to, 95 00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:39,044 and before you say no, I just want you to think about it. 96 00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:41,699 What is it?Like a school function. 97 00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:44,267 Why would I say no to a school function? 98 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,355 So I can go? You're the best. 99 00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:47,052 Hold on. 100 00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:49,098 What kind of function are we talking about? 101 00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:50,926 You know, just the normal kind. 102 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:52,580 With some kids. 103 00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:53,972 And some music. 104 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,757 You know you can't go to a dance. 105 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,845 Why not? 106 00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,325 You know that, too. 107 00:03:58,368 --> 00:03:59,717 Because we're Baptist. 108 00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:01,241 But all my friends are going. 109 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:03,591 That doesn't change anything. 110 00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,723 What if I promise not to dance? 111 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,377 So you expect me to believe 112 00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:10,032 that you are going to go to a dance with your friends, 113 00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:13,340 they'll all be dancing while you just stand there? 114 00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:14,863 I go to church and don't pray. 115 00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,778 How is this any different? 116 00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,999 MEEMAW: Where we eating tonight? 117 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,176 Well, that depends. 118 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,700 Why don't you look in the glovebox 119 00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:27,267 and check on the Tums situation. 120 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,053 There's five. 121 00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,837 Oh, my, this is tricky. 122 00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:35,187 Well, Mexican's at least three apiece. 123 00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:37,668 We might get by with two each if it's Italian. 124 00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:40,628 You get red wine and then tomato sauce. 125 00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:43,674 Hey, if they put lemon in the water, we're dead. 126 00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:46,677 Hmm. That leaves barbecue.Sold. 127 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,071 Who gets Tum number three? 128 00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:51,508 Me. They're my Tums. 129 00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,295 Now, what do you think young people 130 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,644 talk about on their dates? 131 00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:58,863 [chuckles]: I don't know. 132 00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:02,214 But my knee's telling me it's gonna rain this weekend. 133 00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:05,522 Speaking of this weekend, hey, my son needs a final head count. 134 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:06,915 Oh. 135 00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,743 It's a small wedding. 136 00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,614 It'll be weird if I'm there. 137 00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:13,574 Aw, come on, I'm gonna be wearing a suit. 138 00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:15,793 I'm very sexy in a suit. 139 00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:18,666 Come on, Sheldon, 140 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,537 think of it as a free dinner. 141 00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:22,931 I'm a kid. All my dinners are free. 142 00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,022 Is what they're asking really that bad? 143 00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:29,416 Yes. I go to this university to study science, 144 00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:32,897 not to help collect money like an organ grinder's monkey. 145 00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,770 You see me go to the rallies and fundraisers at the high school. 146 00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:37,728 I don't love it, but I do it. 147 00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:40,383 And I hope they give you all the bananas you can eat. 148 00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:44,039 Sheldon, donors like this are very helpful for the university. 149 00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,694 They pay for all the science equipment and your scholarship. 150 00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:49,174 I hadn't thought of it that way. 151 00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,742 So I'll tell 'em we're on for Saturday? 152 00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,265 I'll think about it. 153 00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:55,267 What's to think about? 154 00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:57,618 It's a night of you showing off how smart you are. 155 00:05:57,661 --> 00:05:59,097 People do like that. 156 00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,882 All right, I'm in.[sighs] 157 00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:04,407 ♪ 158 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,844 [TV playing indistinctly] 159 00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:08,716 Can I put on the game? 160 00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:09,934 I don't care. 161 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,719 Sweet! 162 00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,767 What's your problem? 163 00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,943 Did you ever go to a school dance? 164 00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,728 One or two. 165 00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:22,773 How'd you get Mom to let you? 166 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:24,775 Easy. Didn't ask her. 167 00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:28,344 By the way, that works for all kinds of stuff. 168 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,912 Well, it's too late. I already asked. 169 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,914 Rookie mistake. 170 00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:35,960 Why can't we have a fun religion? 171 00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:37,962 I don't think there is one. 172 00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,358 Come with me. 173 00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,063 Here. 174 00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,108 What is it? 175 00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:54,718 The answer to your problems. 176 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,590 Cool. What other tapes you got? 177 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,114 Nature films. Don't worry about it. 178 00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:03,901 Hey. I just got off the phone with President Hagemeyer. 179 00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:06,426 This guy we're gonna have dinner with sounds pretty interesting. 180 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,819 He made all of his money selling antistatic furniture 181 00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,430 for laboratories. 182 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:11,779 He's not even a scientist? 183 00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:13,563 He's just a furniture salesman? 184 00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:14,651 [stammers softly] 185 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:15,826 Yeah. 186 00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,437 What am I supposed to talk about? 187 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,916 Talk about whatever you want. 188 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,005 Just... don't be insulting. 189 00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,094 What if he says something I think is ridiculous? 190 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,792 Keep it to yourself. 191 00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,228 What if you just said something 192 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,621 I think is ridiculous? Because... 193 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,231 Okay, maybe we need to work a little 194 00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:30,711 on your conversation skills, 195 00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,496 like not calling people out for saying stupid things. 196 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,411 How am I supposed to practice that? 197 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,717 What's up? 198 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:47,205 [phone rings] 199 00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:48,990 Hello.Hey, June. 200 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,339 It's Connie Tucker. 201 00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:51,862 Hey, Connie. How are you? 202 00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,124 I'm good. 203 00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:55,083 Am I seeing you Saturday night? 204 00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,650 Well, that's what I've called about. 205 00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:58,260 Are you sure you want me there? 206 00:07:58,303 --> 00:08:00,262 I mean, it is your son's wedding. 207 00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,264 Oh, it's his second wedding. Those barely count. 208 00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:04,048 Besides, I'm bringing a date, too. 209 00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:05,528 Come on, it'll be fun. 210 00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,270 Okay. I'm in. 211 00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:09,358 Fantastic! 212 00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,968 So, how dressed up we getting? 213 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,405 Oh, it's a small ceremony, nothing fancy. 214 00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:16,017 You just saying that 'cause you want to look better than me? 215 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,671 Of course not. 216 00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:20,195 But I do believe you'd be stunning in overalls. 217 00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:21,979 [chuckles] All right. 218 00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,415 See you then. 219 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:25,200 Bye. 220 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:27,376 Overalls, my ass. 221 00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:29,378 So you really can't dance here, man? 222 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:30,945 I can't believe that. 223 00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,381 It's true.GEORGE JR.: See? 224 00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,426 They ain't allowed to dance, either. 225 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,428 It's like I'm watching my life. 226 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:39,475 That's how I feel when I'm watching Top Gun. 227 00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:44,262 Okay, Sheldon, try having a conversation with Billy 228 00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:45,350 about science. 229 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,830 Let's see. 230 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:49,180 Uh, what do you know about quantum mechanics? 231 00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,226 My dad's a mechanic. 232 00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:54,403 At his shop, he has a calendar with a bikini lady on it. 233 00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:55,404 Dad... 234 00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:57,406 Instead of losing patience, 235 00:08:57,449 --> 00:09:00,888 act interested and ask a follow-up question. 236 00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:03,325 Your father's a mechanic. 237 00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:04,848 Interesting. 238 00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:06,154 You know what else is interesting? 239 00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:08,112 Quantum mechanics. That describes 240 00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:10,071 the basic particles and forces that make up reality. 241 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,594 Let's talk about that. 242 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,031 I'm gonna marry that bikini lady. 243 00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:17,252 I've been working on a theory 244 00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,471 about the wave-particle duality of light. 245 00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:21,604 I have a nightlight that looks like Spider-Man, 246 00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,345 but I don't turn it on. 247 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:26,914 Go ahead. 248 00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:29,177 Why don't you turn it on? 249 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,874 I'm afraid of spiders.Yeah, seems like 250 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,354 a good place to stop. 251 00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:33,747 Now what happens? 252 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,400 You go home. 253 00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:37,359 Thank you for your hospitality. 254 00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,840 And it was King David. 255 00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:44,496 King David, who-who we read about in-in Samuel. 256 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,673 And-and-and what did David do? 257 00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,196 What did David do? 258 00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:50,590 What did David do? David danced. 259 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,895 MISSY: "David danced 260 00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:53,462 "before the Lord with all his might, 261 00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:56,421 leaping and dancing before the Lord." 262 00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,598 Leaping and dancing. 263 00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,556 I'm impressed.Thank you. 264 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,471 Too bad it's from Footloose. 265 00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:04,995 [chuckles] What's a footloose? 266 00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:07,607 It is the movie that Pastor Jeff warned us about 267 00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:10,131 in his talk on the sins of cinema. 268 00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:12,002 Just let me go to the dance. 269 00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:13,569 I'm sorry. I can't. 270 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,919 I'm never talking to you again! 271 00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:20,489 Did you show your sister Footloose? 272 00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,534 Did it work?No! 273 00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,884 Mm. Then no. 274 00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:25,407 [growls]: Oh! 275 00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:28,279 GEORGE SR.: Now, when you meet this guy, 276 00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,368 you got to shake his hand. 277 00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,848 What if I offer a stately bow? 278 00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:33,458 That's how they do it in Asia. 279 00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:34,851 You're shaking his hand. 280 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:37,898 Then it's a good thing I brought Old Righty. 281 00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:40,596 [sighs] You're not wearing that in a restaurant. 282 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,771 Why? 283 00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:43,207 'Cause you don't make a good impression 284 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:44,426 by being afraid to shake hands. 285 00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:45,993 Howard Hughes was a germophobe, 286 00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,429 and he did quite well for himself. 287 00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,214 Didn't he go crazy and save his pee in jars? 288 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,215 Better to have it and not need it 289 00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,390 than to need it and not have it. 290 00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,131 You're shaking his hand!Okay! 291 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:56,743 [soft chatter] 292 00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,789 Haven't been to many weddings lately. 293 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,443 Mostly funerals. 294 00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:03,924 Yeah, those don't have an open bar.[chuckles softly] 295 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,534 I don't know why I'm so excited. 296 00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:07,101 I'm paying for this. 297 00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,276 JUNE: Hey, y'all. 298 00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:09,886 Hi, June! 299 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,105 Don't you look pretty? 300 00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:12,106 Thank you. 301 00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:13,673 I happen to agree. 302 00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:14,804 [chuckling] 303 00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:17,415 Connie, Dale, this is Justin. 304 00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:19,679 Hi, Justin. Nice to meet you.Nice to meet you, too. 305 00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,724 You must be a friend of my son's. 306 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,639 Actually, he's my date. 307 00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:27,034 Really? 308 00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:28,122 Mm-hmm. 309 00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:30,820 Much more fun than a funeral. 310 00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,868 HAGEMEYER: George Cooper, 311 00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,521 meet Gary O'Brien, 312 00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,393 the antistatic furniture king. 313 00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:39,394 Hello. 314 00:11:39,437 --> 00:11:40,482 Shocking to meet you. 315 00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:42,571 Don't do that. And this, of course, 316 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:43,746 is our physics prodigy, 317 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,661 Sheldon Cooper. 318 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,271 A great pleasure. 319 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:50,144 ADULT SHELDON: I had an obligation to fulfill. 320 00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:53,538 So I closed my eyes and thought of science. 321 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,803 Just like on my honeymoon. 322 00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,855 How's pizza sound for dinner? 323 00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:09,685 You think I'm eating dinner with my mom on a Saturday night? 324 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,556 [scoffs softly] You're adorable. 325 00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,430 Guess I'm eating alone. 326 00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:17,171 What about Missy?[sighs] 327 00:12:17,214 --> 00:12:18,694 She's not talking to me. 328 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,565 She'd talk to you if you just let her go. 329 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,219 You know I can't do that. 330 00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:25,875 Come on. I went to school dances and I turned out fine. 331 00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:28,225 I didn't let you go to any dances. 332 00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,488 I did all kinds of stuff behind your back. 333 00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:31,663 Like what? 334 00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:34,014 I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb. 335 00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,190 So I'm supposed to just let her do 336 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,278 whatever she wants? 337 00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:38,975 Yeah, I don't think so. 338 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,238 I'm just saying she's a good kid. 339 00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,501 Be glad she's still asking. 340 00:12:46,678 --> 00:12:48,985 So, how'd you two meet? 341 00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:51,422 Oh, I've been cutting his mom's hair for years. 342 00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:52,728 Oh, that's nice. 343 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,512 Bet you when she cuts your hair, 344 00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,471 you get a lollipop, don't you? 345 00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:59,996 Oh, he gets more than a lollipop. 346 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,129 Really? Is that so? Dale. 347 00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:05,610 Okay, so what is it you do, Langston? 348 00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:06,786 Justin. 349 00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:07,830 Actually, I'm about 350 00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,571 to open a frozen yogurt shop. 351 00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:10,746 Frozen yogurt. Right. 352 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,922 Isn't that, like, crappy ice cream? 353 00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:16,143 [chuckles] We consider it a healthy alternative. 354 00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:18,536 Right. Crappy ice cream. 355 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,190 It's actually getting really popular. 356 00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:21,583 I'm gonna invest. 357 00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:22,627 Invest money? 358 00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,847 What else would she invest with? 359 00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,675 I don't know. You got fake ice cream. 360 00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:28,590 How 'bout fake money?Well, there's... 361 00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:31,419 Hey, would you mind going to get me another drink, please? 362 00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:32,420 Happy to. 363 00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,682 Thank you. 364 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,772 What's your problem? 365 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,773 Yeah, what is your problem? 366 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,035 Who said I had a problem? 367 00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:41,385 We did.You're being rude. 368 00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:44,040 Okay, you want to spend all your money on some boy toy, 369 00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,694 it's none of my business. 370 00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,652 Why do you care what she does with her own money? 371 00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:49,176 Yeah, why?Well, you got 372 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,700 some young guy running around, asking for money. 373 00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:53,615 You don't think I know what that's all about? 374 00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:55,617 Okay, he didn't ask-- I offered. 375 00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,880 And I can do what I want. I'm a grown woman. 376 00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:00,535 Oh, hell, you were a grown woman when he was born. 377 00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,150 Sheldon, why don't you tell Mr. O'Brien 378 00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:10,284 about some of your goals at the university. 379 00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,590 Well, I'm pushing for stricter dress codes. 380 00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:13,853 There are a lot of belly buttons on display. 381 00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:14,984 Science goals. 382 00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:16,943 My ultimate goal is to one day devise 383 00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,858 the grand unified field theory. 384 00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,120 Ah. 385 00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,817 You're one of those, are you? [chuckles] 386 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,384 Excuse me? 387 00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:26,126 Well, Kurt Godel's incompleteness theorems 388 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:29,912 eliminate the possibility of a unified theory. 389 00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:32,436 You honestly believe that?Sheldon. 390 00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:35,744 That's... interesting. 391 00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,833 Tell me more about how Einstein's life goal 392 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,704 was nothing but folly. 393 00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,752 What is she thinking? 394 00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,668 Maybe she's thinking, "Why did I come here with this guy?" 395 00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:47,974 Wait, no, 396 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,453 that's what I'm thinking. 397 00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,107 You know what I'm talking about. 398 00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:52,935 She brought him here on purpose.[sighs] 399 00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:55,503 What purpose?To upset me. 400 00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:56,678 You know, Dale, 401 00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,854 not everything is always about you. 402 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,508 Well, you're mad at me, she's mad at me. 403 00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:01,857 It seems like it's all about me. 404 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,511 Well, you owe her an apology. 405 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:04,947 Like hell I do. 406 00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,818 Then I'm gonna do it for you. 407 00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,559 No, wait. [stammers] 408 00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:09,778 Connie, wait. 409 00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:10,822 What? 410 00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,302 Bring me back a beer. 411 00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:15,740 [window opens] 412 00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:16,959 [knocking] 413 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:17,960 MARY: Missy? 414 00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,962 Go away. 415 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,921 I'm not talking to you. 416 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:23,923 I know you're mad. 417 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,751 But I've been thinking about it, and... 418 00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:31,060 I trust you enough to know that you will behave yourself. 419 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,933 So, just this once, you can go. 420 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,282 Thanks, Mom. Love you. 421 00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:36,979 [rattling] 422 00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,981 MARY: Why won't this open? 423 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,635 Sometimes it sticks! 424 00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:43,290 I know, on the surface, 425 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:44,813 Dale seems like a... 426 00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:46,206 a bully, but, 427 00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,729 underneath... 428 00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:48,991 Still a bully. 429 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,994 Well, yes, but a little less of one, right? 430 00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,865 Sure. 431 00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,606 Thank you. You know, 432 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:56,999 I'm gonna bring him a peace offering. 433 00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,610 [Meemaw and June chuckle] 434 00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:00,916 Ain't he cute? 435 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,049 Can you believe that Dale thinks 436 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:06,052 the only reason you brought him here is just to piss him off? 437 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,967 That's exactly why I brought him. 438 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:12,406 What the hell is the matter with you?What? 439 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,408 Why would you go out of your way 440 00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:16,801 to upset Dale at your own son's wedding? 441 00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,934 I don't know. He's my ex-husband. 442 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,022 Well, he's my boyfriend. 443 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,328 Hey, that's your problem. 444 00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:23,547 Well, you're starting to be my problem. 445 00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:24,940 Geez, who's the bully now? 446 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,291 [quietly]: I knew I shouldn't have come here. 447 00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,863 Your ex-wife is a bitch. 448 00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:37,822 I am so filled with love for you right now. 449 00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:39,433 [chuckles] 450 00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:42,740 I believe we have to look to gravity and its magnitude... 451 00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:45,526 ADULT SHELDON: I was really doing my best to hold it together. 452 00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:49,051 ...could be a repulsive force if you just add negative mass. 453 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,922 I smiled and nodded 454 00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:53,534 like my meemaw's Houston Oilers bobblehead. 455 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:55,144 And I also discovered a way 456 00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:56,711 that we could predict the masses 457 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,321 of all the known particles 458 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:01,411 using the Egyptian pyramids. 459 00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:05,024 In physics, there's a phenomenon known as supercritical assembly. 460 00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:08,810 If you bring enough material together in one place... 461 00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:11,073 The trick is numerology. 462 00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,075 ...in the right configuration, 463 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,382 eventually, it will explode. 464 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,601 This is fun. Not a lot of people I can talk to 465 00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,125 scientist-to-scientist. [boom] 466 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:22,258 We're not talking scientist-to-scientist. 467 00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:24,565 You're not a scientist. You're just a rich man that 468 00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,176 no one will be honest to because everyone wants your money. 469 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,920 [snorts] Oh, don't listen to him. 470 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,356 I mean, he's just a kid. 471 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,402 Why don't you tell me a little more 472 00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:36,490 about your pyramid thingy? Huh? 473 00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,020 ["Footloose" by Kenny Loggins playing] 474 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:48,502 ADULT SHELDON: It turned out Gary did appreciate my honesty. 475 00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,852 The school got a generous donation. 476 00:17:50,895 --> 00:17:53,072 My, my, my. 477 00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:55,422 That is a lot of zeroes. 478 00:17:57,163 --> 00:18:00,514 My father got Oilers tickets from President Hagemeyer. 479 00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:02,429 50-yard line and free parking? 480 00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:03,952 Hoo-mama. 481 00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:06,215 ♪ I'm turning it loose ♪ Footloose...♪ 482 00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:09,349 And I got a brand-new, state-of-the-art 483 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:10,611 antistatic lab chair. 484 00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:13,266 ♪ Please, Louise 485 00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:15,094 ♪ Everybody cut, everybody cut 486 00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:17,139 It works.♪ Footloose. 487 00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:26,540 Captioning sponsored by CBS 488 00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:32,546 WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 489 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:35,592 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 490 00:18:35,642 --> 00:18:40,192 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34736

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