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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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- In the year, 1861,
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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the tensions between the
Northern and Southern States,
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were at an all time high.
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00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,500
Enraged by perceived unjust taxation,
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the South saw itself as the
victims of Northern extortion.
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The North struggled desperately
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to keep the young nation intact,
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as our forefathers had envisioned.
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The threat of violence loomed
no longer as a possibility,
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00:00:29,020 --> 00:00:30,950
but as a certainty.
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No one knew where.
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No one knew when.
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But war was coming.
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[bell rings]
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- Remember class,
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read your Nietzsche.
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Read your Nietzsche.
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Sam, you've forgotten your book.
21
00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:51,870
- I know.
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00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:55,780
- Okay, and you've forgotten it again.
23
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Sam.
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00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:59,110
Sam, you know I can't help but notice
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that this is your 13th
stab at the fifth grade.
26
00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:05,740
And I'm just wondering
if something is wrong.
27
00:01:05,740 --> 00:01:08,340
- Well, maybe I don't
give a shit about school.
28
00:01:08,340 --> 00:01:09,730
- Uh, okay, okay.
29
00:01:09,730 --> 00:01:11,120
Tell me Sam, is there anything
30
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,370
that you give a shit about?
31
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- Well, I guess I kind of like math.
32
00:01:20,570 --> 00:01:21,400
- Really?
33
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,150
Sam, that's amazing. We could all—
34
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- Psych!
35
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:26,230
- Okay.
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00:01:26,230 --> 00:01:27,060
Sam.
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Excuse me.
38
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I'm afraid, I'm going to have to ask you
39
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not to return to school anymore.
40
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- So I graduated?
41
00:01:36,870 --> 00:01:38,670
- You failed, Sam.
42
00:01:38,670 --> 00:01:40,890
- What's the difference?
43
00:01:40,890 --> 00:01:42,800
- Just don't come back to school.
44
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:43,940
- Whatever.
45
00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:46,230
Suck it nerd. [chuckles]
46
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[lively music]
47
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[sighs]
48
00:01:56,590 --> 00:01:58,010
- You stupid boy.
49
00:02:00,950 --> 00:02:02,740
- Thrust and parry, son!
50
00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:04,260
Thrust and parry!
51
00:02:04,260 --> 00:02:06,250
- Dad, I don't want to do this.
52
00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:07,870
It's like 11 in the morning.
53
00:02:07,870 --> 00:02:08,880
- Oh, come now son.
54
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I'm training you to be a real man.
55
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Now bounce like I do.
56
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En guarde!
57
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[swords clanging]
58
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- You're not bouncing.
59
00:02:14,470 --> 00:02:15,820
Come on, bounce like this.
60
00:02:15,820 --> 00:02:16,860
[laughing]
61
00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:18,080
- What's up Trevor?
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00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,050
- Hey, Sam.
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00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:20,850
Samuel, to what do we hold the pleasure?
64
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[sword whacking]
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[screaming]
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00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:27,160
Good form son.
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You've taught me to
never let my guard down.
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Even against my own child. [laughs]
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And that is bleeding.
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00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,350
Well off to the doctor I suppose.
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00:02:37,350 --> 00:02:38,520
Good day kids.
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- Your dad's such a nerd.
73
00:02:44,450 --> 00:02:45,670
- Yeah.
74
00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:47,120
- Got fired from school today.
75
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:48,590
- Oh, that's cool.
76
00:02:48,590 --> 00:02:49,830
You wanna go get wasted
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00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:52,170
and check out the Johnson's new slave?
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- Yeah.
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♪ Oh fuck white people ♪
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♪ We wish them all die ♪
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00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,250
♪ We hate white people ♪
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00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,340
♪ Got a lot of reasons why ♪
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00:03:06,340 --> 00:03:08,420
♪ The soulless devil ♪
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00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:11,520
♪ Wrapped in translucent skins ♪
85
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♪ Mm-hmm mm-hmm ♪
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00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,240
- Oh, his hair looks crazy.
87
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,660
- Yeah, looks like he's
got a spider on his head.
88
00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:20,000
- I heard he's from Jamaica.
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00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,900
- Oh shit, I think he sees us.
90
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:31,920
[Sam] He's coming over here.
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What are we gonna do?
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- Where's my sword?
93
00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:39,400
- How're you little white boys doing?
94
00:03:41,150 --> 00:03:42,480
- Hi.
95
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- Would any of you have a match?
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00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,720
[matchbox rattling]
97
00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,080
[matchstick sizzling]
98
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,590
- So what are you doing?
99
00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:05,860
- Workin' my ass off.
100
00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:07,070
- I'm sorry.
101
00:04:07,070 --> 00:04:08,000
Please forgive me.
102
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,360
But I'm afraid, I'm
going to have to ask you
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00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,530
to stop distracting my slave.
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00:04:12,530 --> 00:04:14,180
You see, it's almost the end of harvest
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00:04:14,180 --> 00:04:16,970
and we are a bit understaffed as of late.
106
00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:17,810
So really,
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I just need everyone
working at full capacity.
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00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:22,300
So I hope you understand.
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Cock sucker!
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I didn't buy you to fucking socialize.
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00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:32,410
I bought you to work your
ass off in my fucking field.
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I swear to God, if I get you
slacking off one more time,
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00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,030
I'll shove a--
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- [Trevor] Mr. Johnson,
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why don't you just chill out?
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He's just taking a break.
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- Yeah.
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[laughs]
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00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:44,970
Bless your souls.
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00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:46,590
You don't understand.
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00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:49,460
You see, I have three more fields to work
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before the month is out,
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and I can't spare one poor moment
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to bad time management.
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I hope you understand.
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Did you get a haircut?
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Fuck you!
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What in the fuck did you get the idea,
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that you could just lollygag over here
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and just flap your fucking gums
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at these two nice young boys?
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- It's okay.
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- It is okay.
134
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:13,820
See you in church.
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- I hate white people.
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- Yeah, that guy's a dick.
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- They took me from me home and my family,
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and brought me in chains here,
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to this Babylon,
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where me work like a dog.
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- Yeah, my teacher was white.
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She was always making me do dumb shit.
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- Took me from me children.
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My two boys, who have no father.
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- Yeah.
146
00:05:37,850 --> 00:05:40,680
My dad's always trying to
make me be a fancy gentlemen.
147
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,840
Pretty much in the same boat.
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- Me ask God when.
149
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When are you gonna strike
down these white people?
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00:05:47,330 --> 00:05:48,990
- Yeah, gonna be rad.
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00:05:48,990 --> 00:05:51,560
- Yeah, God was just like, "Suck it."
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[laughs]
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- Suck it white people.
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- Suck a dick.
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[soft music]
156
00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,820
- Yo, name's Bob.
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00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:04,590
- Hey, you wanna get based with us?
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[hen clacking]
159
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- This is where I stay.
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[hen clacking]
161
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- Cool.
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Bunk beds.
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- Have a seat.
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00:06:16,050 --> 00:06:17,600
- So you got any cups?
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00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,990
We can play quarters.
166
00:06:18,990 --> 00:06:19,830
- Nah.
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00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:20,940
Me not drink none of that,
168
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devil's juice!
169
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:22,910
- What?
170
00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:24,280
Thought we came here to get ripped.
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[laughs]
172
00:06:32,370 --> 00:06:34,950
[reggae music]
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00:06:55,210 --> 00:06:58,620
[reggae music continues]
174
00:07:09,190 --> 00:07:12,290
Why have I never heard of this before?
175
00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:13,630
This is amazing.
176
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,400
- I wanna feel like this forever.
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00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,600
[laughs]
178
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,680
- A gift from me, to you.
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00:07:23,870 --> 00:07:24,710
- Whoa.
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00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,630
Are you sure?
181
00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:29,230
- I have plenty.
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00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:31,440
I planted a bed out back.
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This stuff grows like weeds.
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00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:35,530
[laughs]
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- Wait.
186
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,390
Am I...
187
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:45,070
Am I not being cool?
188
00:07:45,070 --> 00:07:45,900
- What?
189
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,360
No, you're being cool.
190
00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:53,750
[sighs]
191
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:57,090
Or am I not being cool?
192
00:07:58,480 --> 00:07:59,930
- What?
193
00:07:59,930 --> 00:08:01,770
- Am I not being cool right now?
194
00:08:01,770 --> 00:08:03,150
- It's okay.
195
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,060
Everybody's being cool.
196
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,030
Am I not being cool?
197
00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:19,890
[reggae music]
198
00:08:30,370 --> 00:08:33,780
[reggae music continues]
199
00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:08,030
[birds tweeting]
200
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:10,110
- Do you think in Jamaica,
201
00:09:10,110 --> 00:09:11,600
they have farms?
202
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,180
Where white people work
for free all the time?
203
00:09:18,630 --> 00:09:19,460
- No.
204
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,180
- I do.
205
00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:24,020
- [Man] Excuse me.
206
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:25,780
Is the master of the house around?
207
00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:27,700
- The doctor's visiting him again.
208
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:28,980
His arm's infected.
209
00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:31,120
- Will you relay a message to him?
210
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,860
- I don't really do that.
211
00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:34,160
- It's frightfully important.
212
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,030
They're doing it.
213
00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:36,100
We're seceding.
214
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,970
- [Both] Succeeding at what?
215
00:09:37,970 --> 00:09:39,470
- From the union!
216
00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:41,690
There's a mandatory meeting
at the church tonight.
217
00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:42,520
- Ugh.
218
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:43,500
- [Both] Church!
219
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,330
- Tell your father.
220
00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:46,000
We are a new nation.
221
00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:49,130
[flute music]
222
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,400
- That dude, would stoned.
223
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,360
[chuckles]
224
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,750
[flute music]
225
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:57,390
- [Man] So she said, "I have some--"
226
00:09:57,390 --> 00:09:59,850
[group murmuring]
227
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:00,680
- All right!
228
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:01,570
Quiet everyone!
229
00:10:01,570 --> 00:10:02,580
Quiet.
230
00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:03,410
Now,
231
00:10:03,410 --> 00:10:05,600
we've just received word from Richmond,
232
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,050
about the state of affairs in our land.
233
00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:12,180
Now, some of this information
I'm about to read to you
234
00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:13,590
is certainly true.
235
00:10:13,590 --> 00:10:14,900
Some of what I'm about to read
236
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:17,070
is certainly mere conjecture.
237
00:10:17,070 --> 00:10:19,050
And some of what I'm about to read
238
00:10:19,050 --> 00:10:22,420
might even be misinformation,
purposefully spread
239
00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:24,830
by the North itself.
240
00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:25,660
Now.
241
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:28,930
The first piece of news I
have is that as of today,
242
00:10:28,930 --> 00:10:31,830
Virginia has officially succeeded,
243
00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:34,580
from the United States of America.
244
00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:36,160
[audience rejoicing]
245
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:36,990
Yeah!
246
00:10:36,990 --> 00:10:39,710
Oh yeah!
247
00:10:39,710 --> 00:10:46,570
♪ Oh yeah ♪
248
00:10:46,570 --> 00:10:47,860
Okay, quiet.
249
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,370
Quiet.
250
00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:50,550
Now,
251
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,290
the second bit of news I have here,
252
00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:53,770
is that as we speak,
253
00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:56,050
the North is currently amassing an army
254
00:10:56,050 --> 00:10:58,820
on the union border,
in preparation for war.
255
00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,400
- What?
256
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,630
- We gonna need an army.
257
00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:02,460
[group murmuring]
258
00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:04,190
- And the third bit of
information we have,
259
00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:07,190
tells us that the union
is currently training
260
00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:09,770
an army of invincible wolf men,
261
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:13,170
who are like wolves in every regard,
262
00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:16,390
save for the fact that they can fly.
263
00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:19,140
[group shouting]
264
00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:24,630
[claps] - Wait a minute.
265
00:11:24,630 --> 00:11:25,710
Wait a minute,
266
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,570
That might be the misinformation.
267
00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:32,800
That might be...
268
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,390
That might be the misinformation.
269
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,850
But I think the exciting news here today,
270
00:11:37,850 --> 00:11:40,410
is that we are now our own country.
271
00:11:40,410 --> 00:11:43,380
[group applauding]
272
00:11:43,380 --> 00:11:44,210
- Oh hey.
273
00:11:44,210 --> 00:11:46,280
That means that we get
to design our own flag.
274
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,130
- Do what?
275
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:49,040
Oh good everyone, fun!
276
00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:52,840
- I got a blank flag right here.
277
00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:54,810
- What should it look like?
278
00:11:54,810 --> 00:11:55,840
- It should look tough,
279
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,380
but also like we're crazy.
280
00:11:57,380 --> 00:11:59,870
like we fight somebody just
for being different than us.
281
00:11:59,870 --> 00:12:01,070
- [Congregation] Yeah.
282
00:12:01,070 --> 00:12:01,910
- I like it.
283
00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:04,590
- It should be read with a big X on it.
284
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,180
It'll have red and Xs,
285
00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:08,620
and no one will mess with the red and Xs.
286
00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:09,720
- [Congregation] Yeah.
287
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,110
- It'll have stars, right?
288
00:12:11,110 --> 00:12:12,750
- Well, of course, it's gonna have stars.
289
00:12:12,750 --> 00:12:13,650
It's a flag.
290
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,480
- Yeah.
291
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:15,310
Yeah.
292
00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:17,490
- We could put a naked girl on the flag,
293
00:12:17,490 --> 00:12:19,110
with like big whoppers,
294
00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:20,840
and she's sitting in her doorway,
295
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,450
and you're walking through town,
296
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,050
and she's like, "Hey
stranger, come over here."
297
00:12:24,050 --> 00:12:25,650
And you're like, "What do you want woman?"
298
00:12:25,650 --> 00:12:27,390
And she's like, "So you can come in,
299
00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:28,680
"have supper at my place."
300
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,740
And you're like, "I'm a good Christian man"
301
00:12:30,740 --> 00:12:31,930
"with a wife at home."
302
00:12:31,930 --> 00:12:33,750
"I can't be hanging around
with strange women."
303
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,750
And she's like, "I ain't
going bite you Mr."
304
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:36,830
And you're like, "I don't know."
305
00:12:36,830 --> 00:12:39,120
But then all of a sudden
the rain starts coming,
306
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,750
almost as if God himself is
pushing you toward her doorway.
307
00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:43,090
So you go in,
308
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:44,800
and she's sitting down.
She's got a hot meal.
309
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:45,790
Must have been a long time
310
00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:47,780
before you've had a hot
meal and a cold pillow.
311
00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:49,660
So you sit down and she takes a napkin,
312
00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:50,880
tucks it into your collar.
313
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,210
Now it's been a long time
314
00:12:52,210 --> 00:12:53,780
before you felt the fingers of a woman.
315
00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:55,350
So you get a little mighty excited.
316
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:57,970
Then, all of a sudden,
her sisters come over,
317
00:12:57,970 --> 00:12:59,880
and you're like, "How many sisters?
318
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:00,620
One sister.
319
00:13:00,620 --> 00:13:01,480
Two sister.
320
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,350
Three sister.
321
00:13:02,350 --> 00:13:03,050
Four sister.
322
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:03,830
Five sister.
323
00:13:03,830 --> 00:13:05,050
Five sisters come over.
324
00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:07,210
So you're like, "Oh my God,
I gotta get out of here.
325
00:13:07,210 --> 00:13:08,340
'The devil is tempting me."
326
00:13:08,340 --> 00:13:11,060
But then, all of a sudden,
her clothes fall off.
327
00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:12,050
And you're like, "What?
328
00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,010
"How did that happen?"
329
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:15,050
A woman's clothes just
fall right off her body?
330
00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:16,190
Then your clothes fall off.
331
00:13:16,190 --> 00:13:17,390
And you're like, "What?
332
00:13:17,390 --> 00:13:18,340
"What's going on here?"
333
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,590
Then an earthquake happens.
334
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:20,750
You both land in the tub.
335
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,350
- What are you doing?
336
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:23,110
- I dunno.
337
00:13:23,110 --> 00:13:23,980
I'm just...
338
00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:25,450
I'm just talkin'.
339
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,970
- Well, let's print this thing up, huh?
340
00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:30,330
[audience applauding]
341
00:13:30,330 --> 00:13:32,040
- Tear all the other flag's down.
342
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,930
No more union flags around here.
343
00:13:33,930 --> 00:13:35,040
- From now on,
344
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,500
we will only acknowledge the red Xs.
345
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:39,650
The union flag is illegal.
346
00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:41,940
- [Congregation] The
union flag is illegal!
347
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:44,110
The union flag is illegal!
348
00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:49,350
- Fuck the union!
349
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:52,180
[group murmuring]
350
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,540
[flute music]
351
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,830
- Hey, that's illegal.
352
00:14:00,830 --> 00:14:02,130
- What?
353
00:14:02,130 --> 00:14:03,610
- You're illegal!
354
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,440
- You can't have that.
355
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,830
That's against the law.
356
00:14:05,830 --> 00:14:09,090
- Yeah, we just made that illegal.
357
00:14:09,090 --> 00:14:09,920
Get 'em!
358
00:14:11,830 --> 00:14:14,580
[group shouting]
359
00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:19,070
[tense music]
360
00:14:19,070 --> 00:14:20,970
[knocking on the door]
361
00:14:20,970 --> 00:14:21,800
- [Man] Bob!
362
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,580
Bob open the door.
363
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:26,160
Bob, it's about the weed stuff.
364
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,030
Bob!
365
00:14:28,980 --> 00:14:29,980
Bob open up.
366
00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:34,410
[door opens]
367
00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:35,730
[panting]
368
00:14:35,730 --> 00:14:37,000
- What are you guys doing here?
369
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,660
- Everybody tried to murder us.
370
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:39,500
- How?
371
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,060
- We were just walking through town,
372
00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:42,490
smoking some of your weed stuff.
373
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,400
And all of a sudden,
everybody came out of nowhere,
374
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,790
and said that they'd made it illegal.
375
00:14:45,790 --> 00:14:46,630
- What?
376
00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:48,710
- Yeah, we were just
minding our own business,
377
00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:49,790
smoking the weed stuff,
378
00:14:49,790 --> 00:14:51,850
when everyone tried to chase us around,
379
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,290
and throw us in jail.
380
00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:54,000
- What?
381
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:56,820
- We were walking through town,
382
00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:58,090
smoking some of the weed stuff—
383
00:14:58,090 --> 00:14:59,840
- Them fucking white people.
384
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,170
- Yeah, they were white.
385
00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:03,770
- Fucking white people.
386
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:06,190
- The white man will try
anything to keep you down.
387
00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:08,260
This is not illegal.
388
00:15:08,260 --> 00:15:09,160
This is Holy.
389
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,250
This is from God.
390
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:13,570
- When is God gonna tell
white people to suck it?
391
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,090
- One thing's for sure Bob,
392
00:15:15,090 --> 00:15:16,590
if they catch you smoking that stuff,
393
00:15:16,590 --> 00:15:19,400
there's no telling what they'll do.
394
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,010
- So, there's one thing for sure.
395
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:23,610
There's no telling what they'll do.
396
00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:25,780
- Don't be a dick to me
Bob, I'm trying to help you.
397
00:15:25,780 --> 00:15:27,790
- Bob what we're trying say is,
398
00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:29,540
you gotta leave town.
399
00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:32,740
- Well, me I've heard of
an underground railroad,
400
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:34,690
that helped slaves escape.
401
00:15:34,690 --> 00:15:36,710
Maybe I can use it
402
00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:38,100
to get up North.
403
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,700
- Whoa, timeout.
404
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:40,790
What?
405
00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:42,540
That sounds awesome.
406
00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:44,240
- Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry, but...
407
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,400
I must be too high,
408
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:46,750
'cause I thought he just said,
409
00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:50,120
that there's an underground
railroad somewhere.
410
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,090
- Well, that's what I heard.
411
00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:54,080
- Bob, you should just
be doing that anyway.
412
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,590
That sounds amazing.
413
00:15:55,590 --> 00:15:56,910
- Where does the smoke go?
414
00:15:56,910 --> 00:15:59,090
- Okay, Bob, you go take
your cave train thing.
415
00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:01,510
Sam and I are gonna try to talk
some sense into these people.
416
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,880
And then when the coast is clear,
you can come back.
417
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,810
- I'm probably not going to come back.
418
00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:07,270
- All right.
419
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:09,830
- Well, to like visit us.
420
00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:11,110
- Me not coming back.
421
00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:12,120
- Right.
422
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:12,960
Okay, well,
423
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,210
Bob, it was awesome meeting you.
424
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:17,090
This has been an incredible three days.
425
00:16:17,090 --> 00:16:18,760
I'm really sorry, you have to move.
426
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,160
- This is a good thing.
427
00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:21,990
- Right. Okay.
428
00:16:21,990 --> 00:16:23,360
Bob, best of luck.
429
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,950
Sam, I have a plan.
430
00:16:27,310 --> 00:16:29,890
[lively music]
431
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,600
- So, what are we doing here boss?
432
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:43,060
- The man can't keep us down if
we got the people working for us.
433
00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:45,710
So, we need to send a
message to every newspaper.
434
00:16:45,710 --> 00:16:48,500
Let them know that we're gonna
throw a demonstration this weekend,
435
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:51,000
to try to keep the weed stuff legal.
436
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,860
- How are we gonna get them to show up?
437
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:53,690
- Easy.
438
00:16:53,690 --> 00:16:55,000
Say it's mandatory.
439
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,930
That's what that weird store goon
said at the front gate today
440
00:16:57,930 --> 00:16:59,900
and look how many people
showed up to his thing?
441
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:01,890
- That dude was talking crazy talk.
442
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,120
- Yeah I know.
443
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:08,120
Now all we gotta do is figure
out a way to bust in here.
444
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:09,480
- Oh, it's easy.
445
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,050
All buildings are made of wood.
446
00:17:11,050 --> 00:17:13,720
[wood crashing]
447
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,390
- Nice work, dude.
448
00:17:16,390 --> 00:17:17,390
- Thank you.
449
00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:20,920
[wood crushing]
450
00:17:25,230 --> 00:17:26,060
- All right.
451
00:17:26,060 --> 00:17:27,300
Do you know how to work this thing?
452
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,410
- Oh, it's easy.
453
00:17:28,410 --> 00:17:29,700
You just say what we wanna send,
454
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,960
and then I just tap it really fast.
455
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,310
Just remember to pause
after each sentence.
456
00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:35,140
- Okay.
457
00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:37,060
How does that work though?
458
00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,000
- I don't know.
459
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,340
How do trains work?
460
00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:41,710
- Good point. Okay.
461
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:43,910
Attention Virginians!
462
00:17:43,910 --> 00:17:45,490
This is an important message,
463
00:17:45,490 --> 00:17:47,990
from a secret resistance move.
464
00:17:49,140 --> 00:17:51,130
- Good pause, right?
465
00:17:51,130 --> 00:17:53,150
- Do you like smoking
that weed like stuff,
466
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:55,480
that makes you high when you smoke it?
467
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:56,580
So do we.
468
00:17:56,580 --> 00:18:00,290
Did you know that some
people are making it illegal?
469
00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:01,540
Isn't that gay?
470
00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:06,210
It's totally true.
471
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:09,070
Tonight, almost everyone
in town tried to kill us.
472
00:18:09,070 --> 00:18:11,710
If you think that sucks, like we do,
473
00:18:11,710 --> 00:18:13,810
then meet us at...
474
00:18:13,810 --> 00:18:15,770
Hey, where should we do this?
475
00:18:15,770 --> 00:18:17,840
- I don't know.
476
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,510
How about that big ass field
behind the rock quarry?
477
00:18:20,510 --> 00:18:21,350
- Perfect.
478
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,220
- Meet us at that big ass field,
479
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:26,130
behind the rock quarry.
480
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:29,600
- Attendance is mandatory.
481
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,470
[typewriter clicks]
482
00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:33,890
[door opens]
483
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,440
[sighs]
484
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:40,270
- Holy smokes.
485
00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:42,690
A telegram came in the night.
486
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:48,510
My God.
487
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:52,290
The telegraph machine is broken.
488
00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:55,420
[rooster crows]
489
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:58,640
[lively music]
490
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,270
- You know, if this protest goes well,
491
00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:02,640
we're gonna have to
keep the momentum going.
492
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,400
We'll get everybody all jazzed up,
493
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,770
and then we'll match them
straight to Richmond.
494
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,650
Then from there, we'll
get an even bigger group,
495
00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:12,220
and take this baby
straight to Washington, DC.
496
00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:15,180
- Should we bring this to Washington DC?
497
00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:16,020
- Come on man.
498
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:16,850
- You are...
499
00:19:16,850 --> 00:19:17,680
- So lame.
500
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:18,520
- All right.
501
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,690
[thuds]
502
00:19:19,690 --> 00:19:20,520
[groans]
503
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,600
[laughs]
504
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:28,000
- You know, we could be
gone for a pretty long time.
505
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,630
I guess I should probably
go say goodbye to my dad.
506
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,220
- Should we bring this to your dad?
507
00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:35,640
- Shut up Sam.
508
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,020
[screaming]
509
00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:39,770
[sawing machine creaking]
510
00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:41,500
[Dad screaming in pain]
511
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,460
[knocks on door]
512
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:44,330
- Hey Dad. How's it goin'?
513
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:45,510
- Trevor!
514
00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:46,340
Hi son.
515
00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:47,450
Never been better.
516
00:19:47,450 --> 00:19:48,280
How goes it with you?
517
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,570
- Pretty good.
[Dad screams]
518
00:19:49,570 --> 00:19:50,940
Just coming by to let you know,
519
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:54,360
that Sam and I are gonna be
hitting the road for a bit.
520
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,480
- A word of warning son.
521
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,310
The doc here has told me the big news.
522
00:19:57,310 --> 00:20:00,080
Seems like a lot of people
here are quite riled up.
523
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,580
It's a powder keg out there.
524
00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:02,620
- Yeah, I know.
525
00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:04,140
You'll know if you read the newspaper,
526
00:20:04,140 --> 00:20:05,310
or anything this morning,
527
00:20:05,310 --> 00:20:09,330
but the whole thing's pretty
much Sam's and my idea.
528
00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:10,450
- Be safe out there boys.
529
00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:11,280
Godspeed.
530
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,760
[sawing tool creaking]
531
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,100
[screaming]
532
00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:21,690
- That'll be 10 cents.
533
00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:24,710
- Fascinating.
534
00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:26,020
So by cutting up that arm,
535
00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:28,920
you kill the infection in this arm.
536
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,980
- Wait, what do you mean?
537
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,570
- What do you mean?
538
00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:38,730
[lively music]
539
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:44,180
- Whoa, keep that on the down low man.
540
00:20:44,180 --> 00:20:45,740
There's no telling who's watching.
541
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:46,750
- They can suck it.
542
00:20:46,750 --> 00:20:48,270
[coughs]
543
00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:49,900
- Let me say goodbye to my dad.
544
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:51,770
So you wanna stop and say
anything to your folks?
545
00:20:51,770 --> 00:20:54,080
- I don't have any folks.
546
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,620
- Really?
547
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:57,020
What do you mean?
548
00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:59,660
- Yeah, I'm an orphan dude.
549
00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:00,500
- No way.
550
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,820
I've known you half my life.
551
00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:06,320
How is this news to me?
552
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,530
- I don't know.
553
00:21:07,530 --> 00:21:09,110
- You're really an orphan?
554
00:21:09,110 --> 00:21:11,140
- Yeah, my parents have been dead forever.
555
00:21:11,140 --> 00:21:12,690
[chuckles] - What?
556
00:21:12,690 --> 00:21:13,530
- Yeah.
557
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,340
- Where do you live?
558
00:21:16,340 --> 00:21:18,620
- Sleep under big tree, in
the middle of the woods.
559
00:21:18,620 --> 00:21:19,550
- What?!
560
00:21:19,550 --> 00:21:20,990
- Yeah, I'm homeless dude.
561
00:21:20,990 --> 00:21:22,410
- No, you're not.
562
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:23,730
Really?
563
00:21:23,730 --> 00:21:25,260
- Why do you think I'm so psyched,
564
00:21:25,260 --> 00:21:27,080
whenever you have sleepovers?
565
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:27,910
- I don't know.
566
00:21:27,910 --> 00:21:29,720
I just always thought
you were a little weird.
567
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:30,810
Wow.
568
00:21:30,810 --> 00:21:33,350
You must think I'm like a
horrible friend or something.
569
00:21:33,350 --> 00:21:34,940
Did for a while.
570
00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:36,090
Crazy.
571
00:21:36,090 --> 00:21:37,200
Kind of got over it.
572
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:41,000
Well, the rally should be
just over this ridge here.
573
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:41,970
We're a little late,
574
00:21:41,970 --> 00:21:43,600
but hopefully they waited for us.
575
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,530
You gotta get our game faces on.
576
00:21:45,530 --> 00:21:46,740
You got a bag full of weed stuff?
577
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:47,620
- Right here.
578
00:21:47,620 --> 00:21:48,730
You got your speech ready?
579
00:21:48,730 --> 00:21:49,930
- Pal, right here.
580
00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:53,020
Let's get ready to make some history.
581
00:21:53,970 --> 00:21:56,720
[group shouting]
582
00:22:01,950 --> 00:22:04,450
[tense music]
583
00:22:05,820 --> 00:22:08,070
[shooting]
584
00:22:11,370 --> 00:22:14,040
- Guess they started without us.
585
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,750
- These people are gonna show up?
586
00:22:17,750 --> 00:22:20,250
- These people really care
about that weed stuff.
587
00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:21,080
- Yeah.
588
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:24,050
These people are pissed.
589
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,580
- Those people do too.
590
00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:29,160
- Maybe we should have specified
591
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:33,660
that this was supposed to
be a peaceful demonstration.
592
00:22:36,090 --> 00:22:37,490
[groaning]
593
00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:40,970
- Hey, thanks for coming out
and supporting the cause.
594
00:22:40,970 --> 00:22:42,790
Sorry you got shot.
595
00:22:42,790 --> 00:22:45,260
Here's a flyer on weed awareness.
596
00:22:45,260 --> 00:22:46,770
- Thanks for supporting the cause.
597
00:22:46,770 --> 00:22:48,090
Sorry you got shot.
598
00:22:48,090 --> 00:22:50,840
Here's a flyer on weed awareness.
599
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,020
- This is crazy.
600
00:22:53,820 --> 00:22:55,990
I mean, I knew people
would die at our protest,
601
00:22:55,990 --> 00:22:58,330
but I didn't think this many.
602
00:22:58,330 --> 00:23:00,370
- How did this happen?
603
00:23:00,370 --> 00:23:02,210
No one's gonna wanna come
to our stuff anymore,
604
00:23:02,210 --> 00:23:04,210
if this is what goes on.
605
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:06,390
Hey.
606
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,140
- You fought bravely good soldier.
607
00:23:16,140 --> 00:23:18,700
You'll always live on in my heart,
608
00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:20,950
but it's time for you to go now.
609
00:23:20,950 --> 00:23:22,350
Your spirit is free.
610
00:23:22,350 --> 00:23:23,780
Away now,
611
00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:25,600
to the land of dreams.
612
00:23:27,060 --> 00:23:28,240
- Wow.
613
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,660
- Yeah, heavy.
614
00:23:38,260 --> 00:23:40,960
- You fought briefly good soldier,
615
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,890
and you'll always live on in my heart.
616
00:23:42,890 --> 00:23:44,820
- I don't think there's
enough for everybody.
617
00:23:44,820 --> 00:23:46,130
To the land of dreams.
618
00:23:48,630 --> 00:23:50,450
- What's this guy's deal?
619
00:23:50,450 --> 00:23:51,750
- Hey, what's your deal?
620
00:23:51,750 --> 00:23:52,740
[gasps]
621
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:55,120
- Who goes there?
622
00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:57,620
- What?
623
00:23:57,620 --> 00:23:59,610
- Union or confederate?
624
00:23:59,610 --> 00:24:00,660
- Why?
625
00:24:00,660 --> 00:24:02,260
- Are you from the South or the North?
626
00:24:02,260 --> 00:24:03,970
- South or North of what?
627
00:24:03,970 --> 00:24:05,350
- This guy's high as balls.
628
00:24:05,350 --> 00:24:07,850
- Are you two for freedom
or for oppression?
629
00:24:07,850 --> 00:24:09,020
- Freedom, dick.
630
00:24:09,020 --> 00:24:10,950
[panting] - Oh good.
631
00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:13,430
It's always nice to meet
other supporters of the cause.
632
00:24:13,430 --> 00:24:14,540
- We are the cause.
633
00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:16,740
- Yeah, this was all our idea.
634
00:24:16,740 --> 00:24:17,910
- What do you mean?
635
00:24:17,910 --> 00:24:21,270
- We organize this whole thing.
636
00:24:21,270 --> 00:24:22,990
- Oh my God.
637
00:24:22,990 --> 00:24:23,940
I had no idea.
638
00:24:23,940 --> 00:24:25,020
I'm so sorry, sirs.
639
00:24:25,020 --> 00:24:27,300
See, I had just joined this army.
I didn't recognize you.
640
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:29,060
I haven't met all my
commanding officers yet.
641
00:24:29,060 --> 00:24:30,430
Please don't fire me.
642
00:24:30,430 --> 00:24:32,070
I would hate to have to go home.
643
00:24:32,070 --> 00:24:33,330
I'm having such a swell time here,
644
00:24:33,330 --> 00:24:35,340
and see nobody really
likes me back home at all.
645
00:24:35,340 --> 00:24:36,450
And it's just really hard for me—
646
00:24:36,450 --> 00:24:38,630
- Okay, little dude, calm down.
647
00:24:38,630 --> 00:24:40,670
Nobody's going to fire you.
648
00:24:40,670 --> 00:24:42,200
- He's so high.
649
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:43,510
- Who started all this shooting?
650
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:44,780
- Well,
651
00:24:45,630 --> 00:24:48,370
I believe it was our side that
made the first volley, sir.
652
00:24:48,370 --> 00:24:50,070
- Well, who told you to do that?
653
00:24:50,070 --> 00:24:50,900
- Oh, well,
654
00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:52,860
our battalion is currently
under the command
655
00:24:52,860 --> 00:24:54,490
of general Robert E. Lee, sir.
656
00:24:54,490 --> 00:24:55,650
I can take you to him.
657
00:24:55,650 --> 00:24:58,880
- Uh, yeah? He is in so much trouble.
658
00:24:58,880 --> 00:24:59,790
- Well follow me, sir.
659
00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:01,650
I know the way to Lee's tent.
660
00:25:01,650 --> 00:25:03,420
- What? Is general Lee guy stupid?
661
00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:05,010
Does he have girl brains or something?
662
00:25:05,010 --> 00:25:07,990
I mean, look at this place.
663
00:25:07,990 --> 00:25:09,440
- Oh Union soldier!
664
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:10,270
- Whoa.
665
00:25:10,270 --> 00:25:12,380
Dude don't kill people.
666
00:25:12,380 --> 00:25:13,130
- Really?
667
00:25:13,130 --> 00:25:15,820
- Yeah, not cool, man.
668
00:25:15,820 --> 00:25:16,900
- Okay, well,
669
00:25:18,030 --> 00:25:20,300
I guess you two are my superiors,
670
00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:21,330
but I gotta tell ya,
671
00:25:21,330 --> 00:25:23,440
that really goes against everything else
672
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:24,810
that everybody's been saying.
673
00:25:24,810 --> 00:25:25,690
- What?
674
00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:26,890
Who's been saying?
675
00:25:26,890 --> 00:25:29,730
- Just take us to the girl brains.
676
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,080
- [Lee] Today,
677
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,000
we've taken our first steps,
678
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,270
as buddies they may be,
679
00:25:38,270 --> 00:25:40,680
in securing our independence.
680
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,670
I said each of us take
a moment of silence.
681
00:25:45,670 --> 00:25:47,250
Remember the fallen.
682
00:25:51,110 --> 00:25:52,060
- Okay.
683
00:25:52,060 --> 00:25:54,100
Who's the girl brains here?
684
00:25:54,100 --> 00:25:56,220
- Yeah, who's the dick that
screwed up our meeting,
685
00:25:56,220 --> 00:25:58,290
and told everybody to shoot everybody?
686
00:25:58,290 --> 00:25:59,740
- That's the general, right there.
687
00:25:59,740 --> 00:26:01,200
- Where do you get off, man?
688
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,680
- [Sam] You know what, Santa Claus?
689
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:03,610
You know what you can do?
690
00:26:03,610 --> 00:26:05,770
You can suck a big old floppy--
691
00:26:05,770 --> 00:26:07,760
[cocking guns]
692
00:26:08,660 --> 00:26:10,030
...penis?
693
00:26:10,030 --> 00:26:12,130
- Now hold on there.
694
00:26:12,130 --> 00:26:14,160
Too many men of power surround themselves
695
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,620
with Yes men,
696
00:26:15,620 --> 00:26:17,570
cowards eager to please.
697
00:26:17,570 --> 00:26:19,340
I will listen to voices of dissent,
698
00:26:19,340 --> 00:26:22,670
but I ask that you keep
your tone a gentlemanly one.
699
00:26:22,670 --> 00:26:23,500
- What?
700
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,790
- Don't call me girl brains.
701
00:26:25,790 --> 00:26:26,620
- Okay, look.
702
00:26:26,620 --> 00:26:28,170
Today was supposed to be about,
703
00:26:28,170 --> 00:26:30,270
getting a bunch of
like-minded people together,
704
00:26:30,270 --> 00:26:31,480
doing a little blazing,
705
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,690
and uniting people against the white man.
706
00:26:33,690 --> 00:26:36,290
- Yeah, and then you had all
these people kill everybody,
707
00:26:36,290 --> 00:26:39,850
and now everyone's gonna be pissed.
708
00:26:39,850 --> 00:26:41,740
- I once thought as you do,
709
00:26:41,740 --> 00:26:43,420
but this country's oppressive government,
710
00:26:43,420 --> 00:26:45,880
will not listen to
anything short of violence.
711
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,690
Is not our land our own,
712
00:26:47,690 --> 00:26:50,470
to plant and harvest as we please?
713
00:26:50,470 --> 00:26:52,080
What right does any man have to tell us
714
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,950
what to do with the
fruits of our own toils?
715
00:26:54,950 --> 00:26:57,160
This is our life.
716
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,580
This is our land.
717
00:26:59,850 --> 00:27:01,760
This is our country.
718
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,420
- [Soldiers chanting] Lee!
719
00:27:03,420 --> 00:27:10,320
Lee!
720
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,290
- Okay. All right.
721
00:27:12,290 --> 00:27:13,810
That's all well and good,
722
00:27:13,810 --> 00:27:15,930
but you still don't have to kill people.
723
00:27:15,930 --> 00:27:18,860
- Son I assure you, I take
no pleasure in loss of life.
724
00:27:18,860 --> 00:27:21,920
It is my goal to minimize
the casualties on both sides.
725
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,800
- Well, you're doing a terrible job at it.
726
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,960
[guns cocking]
727
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,010
- Have you got a better idea?
728
00:27:29,010 --> 00:27:30,620
- Of course I do.
729
00:27:30,620 --> 00:27:33,410
You don't fight with
people in your home town.
730
00:27:33,410 --> 00:27:34,930
You go to Washington,
731
00:27:34,930 --> 00:27:36,240
you deal with people at the top.
732
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,770
You go and you talk to Abraham Lincoln.
733
00:27:39,770 --> 00:27:42,660
- You would have me lead my
men straight to the Capitol?
734
00:27:42,660 --> 00:27:43,890
- Fuck Capitol.
735
00:27:43,890 --> 00:27:47,000
We're talking about Washington.
736
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,910
- I may be insane for
even thinking about this,
737
00:27:49,910 --> 00:27:50,740
but...
738
00:27:51,770 --> 00:27:53,750
Your devil-may-care attitude might be
739
00:27:53,750 --> 00:27:55,660
just the thing we need to win this war.
740
00:27:55,660 --> 00:27:56,530
- Of course, it is.
741
00:27:56,530 --> 00:27:59,820
- This whole thing was our idea dude.
742
00:27:59,820 --> 00:28:00,980
- Tell you what,
743
00:28:00,980 --> 00:28:02,540
today's your lucky day.
744
00:28:02,540 --> 00:28:03,930
Against my better judgment,
745
00:28:03,930 --> 00:28:07,050
I'm gonna put you two in charge
of a small battalion of men.
746
00:28:07,050 --> 00:28:08,260
- Generally Lee, no.
747
00:28:08,260 --> 00:28:09,410
- Quiet!
748
00:28:09,410 --> 00:28:10,990
I'm gonna put you in charge of a brigade,
749
00:28:10,990 --> 00:28:13,530
with the task of matching
straight to Washington.
750
00:28:13,530 --> 00:28:15,580
First thing in the morning,
you head straight North,
751
00:28:15,580 --> 00:28:16,730
and you do not stop,
752
00:28:16,730 --> 00:28:18,530
until you reach the president himself.
753
00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:19,620
Is that understood?
754
00:28:19,620 --> 00:28:20,460
- Boo-yah!
755
00:28:20,460 --> 00:28:22,320
- That's the first smart
thing I've heard you say
756
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:23,470
since we walked in here.
757
00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:25,310
- You, get these men fed and cleaned up.
758
00:28:25,310 --> 00:28:27,040
They have a long journey ahead of them.
759
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:29,180
- Sir.
760
00:28:29,180 --> 00:28:30,550
You can't send them straight North.
761
00:28:30,550 --> 00:28:32,920
That whole area is crawling
with union soldiers,
762
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:34,690
and if they don't get
them, the savages will.
763
00:28:34,690 --> 00:28:38,180
We can not waste an entire
squad on a suicide mission.
764
00:28:38,180 --> 00:28:39,730
- Relax.
765
00:28:39,730 --> 00:28:42,520
We'll give them C brigade.
766
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:47,070
Nobody calls me girl brains
and gets away with it.
767
00:28:47,070 --> 00:28:49,150
[laughs]
768
00:28:50,190 --> 00:28:51,500
- That is rich.
769
00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:52,460
That is rich.
770
00:28:52,460 --> 00:28:53,290
- Yes.
771
00:28:55,250 --> 00:28:56,380
- I ain't gonna lie.
772
00:28:56,380 --> 00:28:58,210
When bad guys started shooting today,
773
00:28:58,210 --> 00:29:01,010
I peed all down the
front of my war pants.
774
00:29:01,010 --> 00:29:02,440
- Ain't nobody in C company
775
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,050
gonna blame you for that one buddy.
776
00:29:04,050 --> 00:29:06,080
Guilty as well.
777
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,280
- I peed the poo out of myself.
778
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:09,110
- Well, sirs,
779
00:29:09,110 --> 00:29:11,130
this is your company.
780
00:29:11,130 --> 00:29:12,150
Listen up men.
781
00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:14,520
These are our new commanders.
782
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,810
- This is everybody?
783
00:29:16,810 --> 00:29:19,390
- There may not be a lot of us.
784
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:25,780
- You gonna say anything else?
785
00:29:25,780 --> 00:29:27,240
- Me? No.
786
00:29:28,620 --> 00:29:31,440
- 'Cause it sounded like you
were gonna say something else.
787
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,090
Like, how we're tough as nails,
788
00:29:34,090 --> 00:29:36,500
or we've got it where
it counts or something?
789
00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:38,540
- Oh. No, no, no. [laughs]
790
00:29:40,910 --> 00:29:44,540
- All right, I guess we
should do some introductions.
791
00:29:44,540 --> 00:29:47,930
I learned this one from my old school.
792
00:29:47,930 --> 00:29:50,320
- I just graduated.
793
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:51,880
All right, so all you gotta do,
794
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,170
is you say your name,
795
00:29:53,170 --> 00:29:54,700
and one thing you're good at.
796
00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:56,990
All right now, just
pat your lap like this.
797
00:29:56,990 --> 00:29:58,870
[patting lap]
798
00:29:58,870 --> 00:29:59,920
Come on.
799
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:02,450
[patting laps]
800
00:30:02,450 --> 00:30:03,280
Yeah.
801
00:30:05,150 --> 00:30:07,240
Now we're getting it.
802
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,880
[patting laps]
803
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,860
♪ My name is Sam and I'm good at karate ♪
804
00:30:11,860 --> 00:30:15,640
♪ Good at karate ♪
805
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,180
Okay now, Timmy,
806
00:30:17,180 --> 00:30:18,540
take it.
807
00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:19,830
♪ My name is Timmy ♪
808
00:30:19,830 --> 00:30:21,340
♪ And I'm a really loyal friend ♪
809
00:30:21,340 --> 00:30:23,000
♪ And I'm a really great lister ♪
810
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,360
- I said one thing Timmy.
811
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:26,190
- Sorry.
812
00:30:27,820 --> 00:30:29,090
♪ My name is Steve ♪
813
00:30:29,090 --> 00:30:30,800
♪ I go to church a lot ♪
814
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,860
♪ Go to church a lot ♪
815
00:30:34,860 --> 00:30:36,330
♪ My name is Doug ♪
816
00:30:36,330 --> 00:30:41,310
♪ And I can cut a rug ♪
817
00:30:41,310 --> 00:30:42,440
- All right Doug.
818
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,190
Way to go, man.
819
00:30:44,190 --> 00:30:46,100
- My name is Zeke.
820
00:30:46,100 --> 00:30:48,260
[wolf howls]
821
00:30:48,260 --> 00:30:52,030
And I once killed a man using
nothing but his own stomach.
822
00:30:52,030 --> 00:30:53,820
- Holy Lord.
823
00:30:53,820 --> 00:30:55,160
- That's Zeke.
824
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:58,310
He's the most dangerous
man in the entire army.
825
00:30:58,310 --> 00:31:00,780
Some say he's killed over 200 men.
826
00:31:00,780 --> 00:31:02,900
The only reason he's in C company,
827
00:31:02,900 --> 00:31:07,290
is because he assaulted one
of his commanding officers.
828
00:31:07,290 --> 00:31:08,850
- Zeke.
829
00:31:08,850 --> 00:31:10,860
You gotta say it three times. Okay, bud?
830
00:31:10,860 --> 00:31:11,690
All right, it's,
831
00:31:11,690 --> 00:31:13,720
♪ I killed a man with his own stomach. ♪
832
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:14,830
♪ I killed a man— ♪
833
00:31:14,830 --> 00:31:15,660
- Sam.
834
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,510
Zeke.
835
00:31:18,510 --> 00:31:21,110
Are you really as good as they say?
836
00:31:21,110 --> 00:31:23,480
[gun cocking]
837
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,900
[gun shoots]
838
00:31:27,570 --> 00:31:32,570
- I just shot that bullet
perfectly, straight up in the air.
839
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,200
- Well, we're glad to have you aboard.
840
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,670
You see with a man of your reputation—
841
00:31:40,670 --> 00:31:43,560
[bullet slices]
842
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:45,900
[screaming]
843
00:31:53,500 --> 00:31:55,690
Well, I guess he really was a good shot.
844
00:31:55,690 --> 00:31:57,200
- The perils of battle.
845
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:00,240
- Yeah, you guys gotta
be way more careful.
846
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:03,010
What happened over there
on the field today,
847
00:32:03,010 --> 00:32:05,120
way out of line.
848
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,390
If on the way to DC,
849
00:32:06,390 --> 00:32:08,970
we run into any more of
these anti protestors.
850
00:32:08,970 --> 00:32:10,110
We need to make sure that we can—
851
00:32:10,110 --> 00:32:11,470
- Anti protesters?
852
00:32:11,470 --> 00:32:13,720
- Yeah, those guys you were fighting.
853
00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:16,710
Hello!
854
00:32:16,710 --> 00:32:19,050
The guys you were fighting today?
855
00:32:19,050 --> 00:32:19,990
Come on.
856
00:32:19,990 --> 00:32:21,760
If we run into any more of those dudes,
857
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:26,390
we need to make sure
that we're way more safe.
858
00:32:26,390 --> 00:32:27,520
Now,
859
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,370
does anybody have any suggestions,
860
00:32:29,370 --> 00:32:31,280
on how we could do that?
861
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:32,180
- You should talk to Doug.
862
00:32:32,180 --> 00:32:35,070
He was in 27 battles in
the Mexican-American war.
863
00:32:35,070 --> 00:32:36,330
- Oh my God, a war?
864
00:32:36,330 --> 00:32:37,260
- Holy shit, dude.
865
00:32:37,260 --> 00:32:39,660
- How'd you survive something like that?
866
00:32:39,660 --> 00:32:42,170
- Well, I don't like
talking about it too much,
867
00:32:42,170 --> 00:32:45,220
and I ain't proud of what I'd done,
868
00:32:45,220 --> 00:32:47,810
but I figured y'all should know.
869
00:32:47,810 --> 00:32:48,950
The first battle started
870
00:32:48,950 --> 00:32:52,710
with major Zachary Taylor, down in Tijuana.
871
00:32:52,710 --> 00:32:55,380
[guns shooting]
872
00:32:57,300 --> 00:32:59,720
[screaming]
873
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,150
Oh my shoe.
874
00:33:01,150 --> 00:33:02,360
My shoe's untied guys.
875
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,830
Go without me, I'll catch up.
876
00:33:04,830 --> 00:33:07,500
[guns shooting]
877
00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:14,810
And then I just played dead
through the whole dang thing.
878
00:33:14,810 --> 00:33:16,900
[laughs]
879
00:33:18,370 --> 00:33:21,130
And then for the second battle.
880
00:33:21,130 --> 00:33:24,270
[screaming]
881
00:33:24,270 --> 00:33:25,380
I'll be right with you boys.
882
00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:27,960
I think I dropped me a quarter.
883
00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:31,910
[guns shooting]
884
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,850
And then on my third battle.
885
00:33:38,900 --> 00:33:41,230
[screaming]
886
00:33:42,310 --> 00:33:43,480
Hold on there fellas.
887
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:46,070
My stomach is feeling mighty—
888
00:33:46,070 --> 00:33:47,240
- Wait, Doug,
889
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,310
did you just play dead
through all 27 battles?
890
00:33:49,310 --> 00:33:50,760
- Not the 24th.
891
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,080
- What happened there?
892
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,330
- I slept in and missed it.
893
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,800
- Weird that you still say you were in 27.
894
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:58,630
- I know.
895
00:34:00,500 --> 00:34:01,640
- Whoa, Sam.
896
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,650
I don't really think you should try to
smoke the weed stuff out of that thing.
897
00:34:04,650 --> 00:34:06,380
- It's ok, I checked it.
898
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,580
[gun shoots]
899
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,780
- Did that just shoot?
900
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,070
[lively music]
901
00:34:25,990 --> 00:34:29,340
[rooster crows]
902
00:34:29,340 --> 00:34:30,230
- Okay.
903
00:34:30,230 --> 00:34:31,480
The first thing we need to do,
904
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,640
when we get to DC is set up a booth.
905
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,820
Steve, that's gonna be
your job, all right?
906
00:34:35,820 --> 00:34:36,710
- Uh, okay.
907
00:34:36,710 --> 00:34:39,150
- We're gonna need a shit ton of flyers.
908
00:34:39,150 --> 00:34:40,230
Not it.
909
00:34:40,230 --> 00:34:41,750
- Timmy, that'll be your job.
910
00:34:41,750 --> 00:34:42,790
- Flyers, got it.
911
00:34:42,790 --> 00:34:43,740
Proud to serve.
912
00:34:43,740 --> 00:34:45,750
I am so lucky, I found you guys.
913
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:46,970
- Whoa.
914
00:34:46,970 --> 00:34:47,970
What's that?
915
00:34:50,220 --> 00:34:53,220
[tranquil music]
916
00:35:02,580 --> 00:35:05,360
- [far-off voice] Pathway is rough and muddy!
917
00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:07,160
Wait.
918
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:08,800
What was that?
919
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,670
- [far-off voice] I said the
pathway is rough and muddy!
920
00:35:11,670 --> 00:35:13,610
- That's a confederate code.
921
00:35:13,610 --> 00:35:15,230
- A what?
922
00:35:15,230 --> 00:35:17,380
- We have to yell back
the proper response,
923
00:35:17,380 --> 00:35:20,840
so that he'll know that we're allies
924
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:24,000
- But my bedroom is warm and inviting.
925
00:35:25,390 --> 00:35:29,530
- My musk is strong and earthy young one.
926
00:35:29,530 --> 00:35:33,340
- I have prepared my body
with oils and perfumes.
927
00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:34,690
- I approach,
928
00:35:34,690 --> 00:35:36,920
as a man on fire.
929
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:38,520
- What's going on with these codes man?
930
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,120
- I quiver with anticipation,
931
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,530
as your scent fills my nostrils.
932
00:35:42,530 --> 00:35:44,540
- My heart pounds like thunder,
933
00:35:44,540 --> 00:35:46,910
and my loins throb with blood.
934
00:35:46,910 --> 00:35:50,900
- I grow moist as I bring
you closer and closer,
935
00:35:50,900 --> 00:35:52,150
right into my--
936
00:35:53,140 --> 00:35:54,000
- Hey!
937
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,010
- [Both] Good to see ya.
938
00:35:55,010 --> 00:35:57,110
- Good to ya buddy, all right
939
00:35:57,110 --> 00:35:58,830
Thought you might be one of them.
940
00:35:58,830 --> 00:36:00,380
- Oh one of those sissy Northerners?
941
00:36:00,380 --> 00:36:01,210
No way.
942
00:36:01,210 --> 00:36:02,350
[laughs]
943
00:36:02,350 --> 00:36:03,920
So what brings you this far North?
944
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:04,900
- Spying.
945
00:36:04,900 --> 00:36:07,340
We was just spying for
General Stonewall Jackson.
946
00:36:07,340 --> 00:36:09,700
- Wow. What have you
learned, my handsome friend?
947
00:36:09,700 --> 00:36:10,510
- Well,
948
00:36:10,510 --> 00:36:13,340
Grant's got a few of his elite
soldiers, coming this way.
949
00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:15,020
They should be here in
a matter of seconds.
950
00:36:15,020 --> 00:36:15,960
- Oh my God.
951
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:17,240
- But General Stonewall Jackson,
952
00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:19,770
has got 400 of the meanest
sons of bitches in Dixie
953
00:36:19,770 --> 00:36:22,180
heading this way to send them
home crying to their mummies.
954
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:23,760
Whole things should go down right here,
955
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,600
in about one or two minutes.
956
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:26,770
- What do we do?
957
00:36:26,770 --> 00:36:28,390
- I'd say load up your muskets son.
958
00:36:28,390 --> 00:36:30,880
You boys are right in
the eye of the storm.
959
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:31,720
- Oh crap.
960
00:36:32,900 --> 00:36:35,140
Sirs!
961
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,310
Sirs!
962
00:36:38,310 --> 00:36:39,200
Trouble.
963
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:40,280
There's gonna be trouble.
964
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:41,900
A huge battle is about to happen,
965
00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:43,600
right here in like two minutes.
966
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:44,430
- What?
967
00:36:44,430 --> 00:36:46,530
No, we're not doing battles anymore.
968
00:36:46,530 --> 00:36:50,360
- The Union soldiers are
heading here, right now.
969
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:51,770
- What?
970
00:36:51,770 --> 00:36:53,270
- Anti protestors.
971
00:36:54,730 --> 00:36:55,580
- You know what?
972
00:36:55,580 --> 00:36:56,410
Good.
973
00:36:56,410 --> 00:36:58,420
This will give us a chance
to sit down with them,
974
00:36:58,420 --> 00:37:00,630
and finally talk this whole thing out.
975
00:37:00,630 --> 00:37:03,220
[arrow slices]
976
00:37:04,310 --> 00:37:06,470
- Oh guys, my stomach is killing me.
977
00:37:06,470 --> 00:37:08,410
I must've eat some bad bacon or something.
978
00:37:08,410 --> 00:37:09,410
You go on without me.
979
00:37:09,410 --> 00:37:11,720
I'll catch up with you later.
980
00:37:11,720 --> 00:37:13,690
[guns shooting]
981
00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:14,520
- Oh...
982
00:37:15,890 --> 00:37:16,840
Oh yeah.
983
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:18,590
My stomach hurts too.
984
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:21,190
That's bad.
985
00:37:21,190 --> 00:37:22,920
[guns shooting]
986
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:27,070
- Uh...yeah, mine does too.
987
00:37:27,070 --> 00:37:30,370
Must be a virus going around or something.
988
00:37:30,370 --> 00:37:31,690
[group shouting]
989
00:37:31,690 --> 00:37:32,570
- [Man] Come on man.
990
00:37:32,570 --> 00:37:34,310
Richmond's is that way.
991
00:37:34,310 --> 00:37:36,500
- [Man] Not so fast, Yankee dogs!
992
00:37:36,500 --> 00:37:39,730
- [Man] Look, it's the Confederate army.
993
00:37:39,730 --> 00:37:41,140
Run for the park y'all.
994
00:37:41,140 --> 00:37:43,030
Let's get them boys.
995
00:37:43,030 --> 00:37:44,080
- [Man] We hate you.
996
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:45,480
- [Man] We hate YOU!
997
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:46,750
- [Man] Fire at will!
998
00:37:46,750 --> 00:37:49,500
- [Man] Kill them. Kill them all.
999
00:37:53,100 --> 00:37:55,430
[gun cocks]
1000
00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:02,130
[bird screeching]
1001
00:38:06,970 --> 00:38:08,340
- Hey dude.
1002
00:38:08,340 --> 00:38:09,420
They're done.
1003
00:38:10,710 --> 00:38:11,540
- What?
1004
00:38:11,540 --> 00:38:13,720
They did it again.
1005
00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:15,220
- These guys, man.
1006
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,060
- Well, that's 28.
1007
00:38:18,860 --> 00:38:20,340
Shame, shame, shame.
1008
00:38:20,940 --> 00:38:22,020
What a shame.
1009
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,260
- Oh, that's gonna be a good one.
1010
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,260
Well I'll be!
1011
00:38:27,260 --> 00:38:29,710
Looks like we have some people left.
1012
00:38:29,710 --> 00:38:30,540
- What?
1013
00:38:30,540 --> 00:38:31,380
- Names?
1014
00:38:32,540 --> 00:38:33,480
- What?
1015
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,070
- Names please?
1016
00:38:35,070 --> 00:38:38,240
- I'm Trevor Moore, and this is Sam...
1017
00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:41,320
Hey, what is your last name?
1018
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:42,550
- Brown.
1019
00:38:42,550 --> 00:38:44,670
- How did I not know that?
1020
00:38:44,670 --> 00:38:45,590
- I don't know, man.
1021
00:38:45,590 --> 00:38:46,430
- That's so funny.
1022
00:38:46,430 --> 00:38:48,350
I must have just never asked you.
1023
00:38:48,350 --> 00:38:49,900
[chuckles] Isn't that funny?
1024
00:38:49,900 --> 00:38:51,260
- No, not really.
1025
00:38:51,260 --> 00:38:53,480
- Well, it looks like you
guys are the only survivors,
1026
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:56,130
of the biggest battle of
this whole mess so far.
1027
00:38:56,130 --> 00:38:56,980
- Yeah.
1028
00:38:56,980 --> 00:38:58,680
Look, I know things look bad,
1029
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:01,840
but this thing doesn't
have to be like this.
1030
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,760
- Yeah, this wasn't how it
was supposed to go down.
1031
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,330
- Looks bad.
1032
00:39:06,330 --> 00:39:08,050
Supposed to go down.
1033
00:39:08,050 --> 00:39:09,070
Got it.
1034
00:39:09,070 --> 00:39:10,530
- Hey wait a minute.
1035
00:39:10,530 --> 00:39:11,640
Who are you?
1036
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:12,900
Name's Bernie Templeton.
1037
00:39:12,900 --> 00:39:14,510
I'm a journalist and a reporter,
1038
00:39:14,510 --> 00:39:16,860
and you boys just became war heroes.
1039
00:39:16,860 --> 00:39:17,830
Say cheese!
1040
00:39:17,830 --> 00:39:18,830
- War heroes!
1041
00:39:18,830 --> 00:39:20,370
No.
1042
00:39:20,370 --> 00:39:22,370
Look this thing doesn't have to be a w—
1043
00:39:22,370 --> 00:39:24,790
[camera flash]
1044
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,650
- [Man] This came today General Graham.
1045
00:39:33,970 --> 00:39:36,320
- I want these boys dead.
1046
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:37,220
- Extra! Extra!
1047
00:39:37,220 --> 00:39:38,320
Read all about it.
1048
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,410
Local boys become Confederate heroes.
1049
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,850
[mumbles]
1050
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,260
[dogs barking]
1051
00:39:48,260 --> 00:39:51,660
- Well, it looks like your
infection somehow got infected.
1052
00:39:51,660 --> 00:39:54,360
[chuckles] - Look at this doc.
1053
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,190
That there's my boy. [laughs]
1054
00:39:57,190 --> 00:39:59,610
- People can't get enough
of this story, sir.
1055
00:39:59,610 --> 00:40:02,880
These two boys are the talk of the nation.
1056
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,960
- These two girl brains might
prove to be useful after all.
1057
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:09,060
Send word that they're to
abort the suicide mission.
1058
00:40:09,060 --> 00:40:10,720
They keep heading North to Washington.
1059
00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:13,200
They're not gonna survive the day.
1060
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:14,040
- I, sir.
1061
00:40:14,940 --> 00:40:18,100
- Did you see how I called
them the girl brains?
1062
00:40:18,100 --> 00:40:19,470
- I did, sir.
1063
00:40:19,470 --> 00:40:21,550
[laughs]
1064
00:40:22,660 --> 00:40:26,350
- So, the sun moves from
East to West, right?
1065
00:40:26,350 --> 00:40:27,280
- Yeah.
1066
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,080
- Then that means that the wind
moves from North to South.
1067
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:31,300
Right?
1068
00:40:31,300 --> 00:40:32,130
- Yeah.
1069
00:40:33,850 --> 00:40:35,630
Hurts looking at the sun.
1070
00:40:35,630 --> 00:40:37,940
- Yeah, that's why we use the wind, moron.
1071
00:40:37,940 --> 00:40:38,930
So, it goes,
1072
00:40:38,930 --> 00:40:40,000
never
1073
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:40,830
eat
1074
00:40:40,830 --> 00:40:41,660
skunk's,
1075
00:40:41,660 --> 00:40:42,490
wieners.
1076
00:40:42,490 --> 00:40:43,500
- No, it goes,
1077
00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:44,400
never
1078
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,240
eat
1079
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:46,070
skunk's,
1080
00:40:46,070 --> 00:40:46,900
wieners.
1081
00:40:46,900 --> 00:40:47,730
- No, it goes,
1082
00:40:47,730 --> 00:40:49,030
never eat
1083
00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:50,640
skunk's wieners.
1084
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:51,470
- Uh uh.
1085
00:40:51,470 --> 00:40:52,790
- [Both] Never. - Yes.
1086
00:40:52,790 --> 00:40:54,410
- [Both] Eat. - No.
1087
00:40:54,410 --> 00:40:55,240
- [Both] Never.
1088
00:40:55,240 --> 00:40:56,070
Eat.
1089
00:40:56,070 --> 00:40:57,600
- No, you're wrong.
- It goes this way.
1090
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:02,820
- Maybe you guys wanna
try doing that side by side.
1091
00:41:04,420 --> 00:41:05,470
- [Both] Never eat.
1092
00:41:05,470 --> 00:41:06,290
- Yes.
1093
00:41:06,290 --> 00:41:08,200
- skunk's weiners.
- Why won't you ever listen to me?
1094
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:09,850
- Thought you were
retarded for a second.
1095
00:41:09,850 --> 00:41:11,760
All right. So now we
just have to figure out,
1096
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,050
which way the wind is blowing.
1097
00:41:13,050 --> 00:41:13,890
- Yeah.
1098
00:41:15,310 --> 00:41:16,530
How do we do that?
1099
00:41:16,530 --> 00:41:17,960
- Uh, easy.
1100
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:21,710
[licks finger] Just do that.
1101
00:41:22,710 --> 00:41:24,550
- Why did you do that?
1102
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:26,810
- What? You told me to.
1103
00:41:26,810 --> 00:41:27,840
- Why did you do that?
1104
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:28,680
You said to--
1105
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:29,740
- Don't ever do that.
1106
00:41:29,740 --> 00:41:31,660
- Hey, it's that thing.
1107
00:41:34,150 --> 00:41:37,150
[tranquil music]
1108
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:49,520
- Guys, the compass says
that North is thataway.
1109
00:41:51,010 --> 00:41:52,170
- Up that mountain?
1110
00:41:52,170 --> 00:41:53,560
- That's a hill.
1111
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:55,560
- I don't think North is that way, Doug.
1112
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:56,760
- All right, fuck this shit.
1113
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,590
It's 5:00 PM. Let's call it a day.
1114
00:41:58,590 --> 00:41:59,720
- It's not 5:00 PM.
1115
00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:01,380
- Doug, feel the wind.
1116
00:42:01,380 --> 00:42:03,730
- All right, we've been
marching for a couple hours now.
1117
00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:05,900
Let's just set up camp, okay.
1118
00:42:08,550 --> 00:42:09,630
- Oh.
1119
00:42:09,630 --> 00:42:10,880
Gross.
1120
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:12,690
There's blood all over the tent.
1121
00:42:12,690 --> 00:42:13,520
- Oh yeah.
1122
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,420
Sorry. Dragged it through some dead dude,
1123
00:42:15,420 --> 00:42:17,180
killed at that last battle.
1124
00:42:17,180 --> 00:42:18,020
- Here.
1125
00:42:18,020 --> 00:42:19,680
Help me ring it out.
1126
00:42:20,850 --> 00:42:21,780
- Ew.
1127
00:42:21,780 --> 00:42:22,780
- Ah, gross.
1128
00:42:23,790 --> 00:42:24,630
Gross.
1129
00:42:26,140 --> 00:42:28,980
- Well I got the poles guys.
1130
00:42:28,980 --> 00:42:30,320
- [Sam, Trevor] Wow.
1131
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,840
- [Sam] That looks awesome.
1132
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:33,670
- What do you mean?
1133
00:42:33,670 --> 00:42:35,590
It just kind of looks like big old mess.
1134
00:42:35,590 --> 00:42:37,180
- Hear, smoke this.
1135
00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:40,620
[flute music]
1136
00:42:40,620 --> 00:42:43,260
- Oh yeah. That does look kind of cool.
1137
00:42:43,260 --> 00:42:44,940
- I want my shirt to look like that.
1138
00:42:44,940 --> 00:42:46,210
- Oh good idea.
1139
00:42:46,210 --> 00:42:47,470
We should tie strings around them,
1140
00:42:47,470 --> 00:42:49,810
and dye them in the blood puddle.
1141
00:42:52,630 --> 00:42:54,130
- My God.
1142
00:42:54,130 --> 00:42:55,390
They're decorating themselves,
1143
00:42:55,390 --> 00:42:57,250
with the blood of their victims.
1144
00:42:57,250 --> 00:42:59,080
They're savages.
1145
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:02,520
I must report this to
General Grant at once.
1146
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,680
[mumbles]
1147
00:43:07,290 --> 00:43:08,370
- This is the coolest thing
1148
00:43:08,370 --> 00:43:11,270
that my eyes have ever looked at.
1149
00:43:11,270 --> 00:43:13,490
- Mine looks like, it sounds like,
1150
00:43:13,490 --> 00:43:18,090
♪ Wow ♪
1151
00:43:18,090 --> 00:43:19,700
- Yeah mine looks like, it's like,
1152
00:43:19,700 --> 00:43:23,460
♪ Doo doo ♪
1153
00:43:23,460 --> 00:43:26,810
♪ Doo doo ♪
♪ Wiki wiki ♪
1154
00:43:26,810 --> 00:43:29,810
- Hey look, it's those things again.
1155
00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:33,900
[tranquil music]
1156
00:43:35,720 --> 00:43:36,970
- So beautiful.
1157
00:43:39,660 --> 00:43:42,640
[tense music]
1158
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:44,890
- They're coming over here.
1159
00:43:46,300 --> 00:43:47,170
- Oh.
1160
00:43:47,170 --> 00:43:48,340
What do we do?
1161
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,750
- Are we dying?
1162
00:43:51,750 --> 00:43:55,000
- My stomach ain't doing me right guys.
1163
00:43:58,640 --> 00:43:59,820
- Hi.
1164
00:44:02,220 --> 00:44:03,730
H—
1165
00:44:03,730 --> 00:44:04,820
Hi.
1166
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:14,310
♪ We are the Pony Express ♪
1167
00:44:14,310 --> 00:44:16,980
♪ We deliver mail with speedy success ♪
1168
00:44:16,980 --> 00:44:19,830
♪ Where there's a parcel
or a post card you send ♪
1169
00:44:19,830 --> 00:44:23,660
♪ You can trust your message
with spike of a man ♪
1170
00:44:23,660 --> 00:44:26,330
♪ We are the Pony Express ♪
1171
00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:29,220
♪ I hate to break it
darling we are the best ♪
1172
00:44:29,220 --> 00:44:31,550
♪ Give us your package
while y'all around ♪
1173
00:44:31,550 --> 00:44:35,260
♪ The Pony Express is
coming to your town ♪
1174
00:44:35,260 --> 00:44:38,370
- [Group] We are the Pony Express!
1175
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:43,450
- Who are you guys?
1176
00:44:43,450 --> 00:44:44,930
[sighing]
1177
00:44:44,930 --> 00:44:46,510
- Why are you guys dressed like that?
1178
00:44:46,510 --> 00:44:47,560
- In these troubled times,
1179
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:51,140
travel can be just as perilous
as combat, sweetheart.
1180
00:44:51,140 --> 00:44:52,480
- [Man] So we disguise ourselves,
1181
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:56,750
so we can slip through
enemies' camps unnoticed.
1182
00:44:56,750 --> 00:44:59,080
- And deliver you, the mail.
1183
00:44:59,820 --> 00:45:01,150
- [Man] The following is a message
1184
00:45:01,150 --> 00:45:02,510
from General Robert E. Lee.
1185
00:45:02,510 --> 00:45:03,370
You are to—
1186
00:45:03,370 --> 00:45:04,200
- [Group] Stop!
1187
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:05,030
- What you are doing,
1188
00:45:05,030 --> 00:45:07,710
and immediately turn your
sweet patootie back around,
1189
00:45:07,710 --> 00:45:08,930
and head back to headquarters.
1190
00:45:08,930 --> 00:45:09,930
- What? No!
1191
00:45:09,930 --> 00:45:11,070
We're going to DC
1192
00:45:11,070 --> 00:45:13,080
to talk some sense into President Lincoln.
1193
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:13,920
- Mm-mm.
1194
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:14,790
Sorry boyfriend.
1195
00:45:14,790 --> 00:45:16,940
General Lee wants you to lead a battalion
1196
00:45:16,940 --> 00:45:19,220
of his finest men.
1197
00:45:19,220 --> 00:45:20,680
- We have a battalion.
1198
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:21,760
We have Doug.
1199
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:23,900
- Hey, I'm Doug.
1200
00:45:23,900 --> 00:45:24,990
Tough tiddy, sweetheart,
1201
00:45:24,990 --> 00:45:26,410
'cause you all are war heroes now,
1202
00:45:26,410 --> 00:45:27,750
and he wants you in the battle.
1203
00:45:27,750 --> 00:45:29,080
- Oh man, again with the fighting?
1204
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:30,840
What a dick bag.
1205
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:32,230
Why is everybody so violent?
1206
00:45:32,230 --> 00:45:34,190
[arrows thudding]
1207
00:45:34,190 --> 00:45:35,020
- Indians!
1208
00:45:37,030 --> 00:45:38,920
- Guys, my stomach.
1209
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:39,830
- Sam, run!
1210
00:45:42,420 --> 00:45:43,250
Oh.
1211
00:45:44,180 --> 00:45:46,390
[eagle screeching]
1212
00:45:46,390 --> 00:45:48,030
[drum beating]
1213
00:45:48,030 --> 00:45:50,940
- Hey, I think I can take these guys.
1214
00:45:50,940 --> 00:45:53,420
- Sam you can't take these guys.
1215
00:45:53,420 --> 00:45:55,000
- Trust me, I can do it.
1216
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:56,930
- Sam, they've already taken us.
1217
00:45:56,930 --> 00:45:59,310
If you could've taken them, you
should've done it back there.
1218
00:45:59,310 --> 00:46:01,280
You know, before we were tied up?
1219
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:04,320
- Well, I wasn't in the zone
then, I'm in the zone now.
1220
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:05,420
- Not gonna work.
1221
00:46:05,420 --> 00:46:07,620
- All right, on the count of three,
1222
00:46:07,620 --> 00:46:09,960
I'm gonna take these three guys up here,
1223
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:11,750
then you take those four guys back there.
1224
00:46:11,750 --> 00:46:12,590
All right?
1225
00:46:12,590 --> 00:46:13,650
- I'm not gonna take four guys.
1226
00:46:13,650 --> 00:46:14,490
- All right.
1227
00:46:14,490 --> 00:46:15,500
One.
1228
00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:16,340
Two.
1229
00:46:16,340 --> 00:46:17,290
Three.
1230
00:46:17,290 --> 00:46:19,540
[groaning]
1231
00:46:25,070 --> 00:46:26,050
Man.
1232
00:46:26,050 --> 00:46:28,170
I can't believe Doug's plan worked again.
1233
00:46:28,170 --> 00:46:29,010
- Yeah.
1234
00:46:29,010 --> 00:46:30,260
Doug's a dick.
1235
00:46:30,260 --> 00:46:32,760
[flute music]
1236
00:46:52,250 --> 00:46:53,090
Hey.
1237
00:46:55,620 --> 00:46:56,450
Hi.
1238
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,000
- Sup?
1239
00:47:01,860 --> 00:47:02,700
- Huh?
1240
00:47:05,380 --> 00:47:06,920
- Said sup?
1241
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,290
What's up with you guys?
1242
00:47:09,290 --> 00:47:10,130
- Oh, um.
1243
00:47:12,580 --> 00:47:13,910
Nothing.
1244
00:47:13,910 --> 00:47:14,820
- Chilling.
1245
00:47:16,470 --> 00:47:18,470
What's up with you guys?
1246
00:47:19,850 --> 00:47:20,680
- Same.
1247
00:47:22,050 --> 00:47:22,880
Hey bro.
1248
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:23,790
- Yo bro.
1249
00:47:23,790 --> 00:47:25,010
- What's up with these guys?
1250
00:47:25,010 --> 00:47:27,240
- Me and the guys were gonna go
play and relax in the field,
1251
00:47:27,240 --> 00:47:28,740
when we found these two dudes.
1252
00:47:28,740 --> 00:47:32,990
We thought we'd bring to
you, see what you thought.
1253
00:47:36,380 --> 00:47:37,800
- You guys chill?
1254
00:47:39,090 --> 00:47:40,760
- Yeah, we're chill.
1255
00:47:42,020 --> 00:47:42,920
- You.
1256
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:43,760
You chill?
1257
00:47:47,060 --> 00:47:48,310
- The chillest.
1258
00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:58,500
They seem chill.
1259
00:47:58,500 --> 00:47:59,840
Untie them bros.
1260
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,570
- So you guys aren't gonna kill us?
1261
00:48:08,570 --> 00:48:09,880
- Kill you? [scoffs]
1262
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:12,280
Us Indians are a men of peace.
1263
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:15,080
- What about those five dudes
you guys just killed back there?
1264
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,160
- What, you mean that
crazy horse that attacked you?
1265
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,020
- Sup, bro?
1266
00:48:19,020 --> 00:48:20,320
You call me?
1267
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:21,570
- Oh no bro.
1268
00:48:21,570 --> 00:48:24,810
- I meant like some horse that is crazy.
1269
00:48:24,810 --> 00:48:25,640
Sorry bro.
1270
00:48:26,980 --> 00:48:27,970
- Hey bro.
1271
00:48:27,970 --> 00:48:28,990
What's going on bro?
1272
00:48:28,990 --> 00:48:30,130
What's happening?
1273
00:48:30,130 --> 00:48:32,630
- So what's with the bro thing?
1274
00:48:32,630 --> 00:48:35,600
- As Indians believe that
all men are brothers at war.
1275
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:36,760
- Mm-hmm.
1276
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:37,850
- Hey, what's happening bro?
1277
00:48:37,850 --> 00:48:38,870
- Not much, bro.
1278
00:48:38,870 --> 00:48:40,130
- All right.
1279
00:48:40,130 --> 00:48:42,250
That's what makes your
people's conflict so tragic.
1280
00:48:42,250 --> 00:48:43,710
- Oh, you heard about the fight?
1281
00:48:43,710 --> 00:48:44,860
- Oh, what's up bro?
1282
00:48:44,860 --> 00:48:45,730
- What's up bro?
1283
00:48:45,730 --> 00:48:46,580
- You got a problem?
1284
00:48:46,580 --> 00:48:48,570
- No, you got a problem bro?
1285
00:48:48,570 --> 00:48:49,410
Bros!
1286
00:48:51,910 --> 00:48:54,200
[soft music]
1287
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:57,190
- We're just as susceptible
to disagreements as you guys,
1288
00:48:57,190 --> 00:48:58,400
but at the end of the day,
1289
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:01,390
we settle ours peacefully.
1290
00:49:01,390 --> 00:49:03,790
Our kind knows when to smoke peace fight.
1291
00:49:03,790 --> 00:49:04,850
- Fucking yeah man.
1292
00:49:04,850 --> 00:49:06,550
That's what I'm talking about.
1293
00:49:06,550 --> 00:49:09,410
This whole thing didn't have
to be about dudes killing dudes.
1294
00:49:09,410 --> 00:49:10,490
Supposed to be about,
1295
00:49:10,490 --> 00:49:12,660
getting a bunch of people together,
1296
00:49:12,660 --> 00:49:14,860
getting high as fuck,
1297
00:49:14,860 --> 00:49:19,390
and trying to get the
white man off our back.
1298
00:49:19,390 --> 00:49:20,810
- You guys party?
1299
00:49:21,690 --> 00:49:22,790
- Yeah.
1300
00:49:22,790 --> 00:49:24,060
We party.
1301
00:49:24,060 --> 00:49:25,150
- Check this.
1302
00:49:27,430 --> 00:49:28,760
- What the fuck?
1303
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:33,360
[music swells]
1304
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:38,940
- What?!
1305
00:49:38,940 --> 00:49:41,880
This is the coolest
thing I have ever seen.
1306
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:42,980
- What?
1307
00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:44,690
- Oh my God.
1308
00:49:44,690 --> 00:49:46,180
[laughing]
1309
00:49:46,180 --> 00:49:47,950
- [Trevor] Are you seeing this?
1310
00:49:47,950 --> 00:49:50,040
[laughs]
1311
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:53,770
[chatter]
[drums]
1312
00:49:57,610 --> 00:50:00,000
- [Man] That's in, bro drink up.
1313
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,640
[chuckles]
1314
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:04,970
[murmuring]
1315
00:50:11,230 --> 00:50:12,870
- This stuff is amazing.
1316
00:50:12,870 --> 00:50:14,300
- Thank you.
1317
00:50:14,300 --> 00:50:15,920
We are a nomadic people,
1318
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:19,260
but we plant fields along
the routes we usually travel.
1319
00:50:19,260 --> 00:50:21,360
- Why do you guys travel around too much?
1320
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:22,630
- To follow the salmon.
1321
00:50:22,630 --> 00:50:24,850
- You know, their main source of food.
1322
00:50:24,850 --> 00:50:28,770
- As their breeding ground
moves with the seasons, so do we.
1323
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,270
- So you guys just get high,
1324
00:50:31,270 --> 00:50:33,000
and follow fish around the country?
1325
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,170
- Pretty much bro.
1326
00:50:34,170 --> 00:50:35,760
- That's so chill.
1327
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,010
- Maybe that's what we should do.
1328
00:50:38,010 --> 00:50:39,350
Just say, "Fuck everything
1329
00:50:39,350 --> 00:50:42,500
and follow fish around the country."
1330
00:50:42,500 --> 00:50:45,780
- But, what will we do for money?
1331
00:50:45,780 --> 00:50:47,430
- You could sell t-shirts.
1332
00:50:47,430 --> 00:50:48,910
- Or burritos.
1333
00:50:48,910 --> 00:50:50,200
- Or grilled cheeses.
1334
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:51,880
- [Man] What's up bro,
you're looking at my squaw.
1335
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:53,070
- You talking to me bro?
1336
00:50:53,070 --> 00:50:54,660
- I asked you if you
looking at my squaw, bro.
1337
00:50:54,660 --> 00:50:56,460
- Bro I can look at any squaw I want to.
1338
00:50:56,460 --> 00:50:57,860
- Well, you wanna take this outside?
1339
00:50:57,860 --> 00:50:58,700
- No, bro.
1340
00:50:58,700 --> 00:51:00,470
- I'll take YOU outside, bro!
1341
00:51:00,470 --> 00:51:01,310
- Indians!
1342
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:04,030
Be chill.
1343
00:51:09,660 --> 00:51:10,740
You try this.
1344
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:18,770
[coughs]
1345
00:51:18,770 --> 00:51:20,490
- That weed stuff tastes weird.
1346
00:51:20,490 --> 00:51:22,490
- That ain't weed stuff.
1347
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:24,880
It's peyote.
1348
00:51:27,060 --> 00:51:32,660
- [Sam and Trevor] No!
1349
00:51:34,700 --> 00:51:37,030
[screaming]
1350
00:51:39,900 --> 00:51:42,320
[soft music]
1351
00:51:44,650 --> 00:51:46,210
- Hi Trevor.
1352
00:51:46,210 --> 00:51:47,050
- Hi Sam.
1353
00:51:49,470 --> 00:51:53,340
- What do you think is going on here?
1354
00:51:53,340 --> 00:51:55,920
- We are drinking tea, I think.
1355
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:58,070
- Why?
1356
00:51:58,070 --> 00:51:59,750
We were just with the Indians.
1357
00:51:59,750 --> 00:52:02,300
- Well, what I'm afraid
might have happened,
1358
00:52:02,300 --> 00:52:05,090
is whatever it was we smoked,
1359
00:52:05,090 --> 00:52:06,590
has made us crazy.
1360
00:52:07,580 --> 00:52:08,820
- I think the best sort of thing
1361
00:52:08,820 --> 00:52:12,090
to do in this kind of situation,
1362
00:52:12,090 --> 00:52:13,260
is just relax.
1363
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:15,650
Not fighting.
1364
00:52:18,850 --> 00:52:22,600
- Oh, my God I got [mumbles]
1365
00:52:26,410 --> 00:52:29,060
Well, I hope things are going all right,
1366
00:52:29,060 --> 00:52:32,070
wherever it is we really are.
1367
00:52:32,070 --> 00:52:33,140
- It probably is.
1368
00:52:33,140 --> 00:52:35,860
We usually handle things pretty well.
1369
00:52:35,860 --> 00:52:37,360
- We do, don't we?
1370
00:52:38,260 --> 00:52:40,780
Get back!
1371
00:52:41,090 --> 00:52:41,920
I'll kill all of you!
1372
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:44,040
You godless dirt-worshippers!
1373
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:45,500
[screaming]
1374
00:52:45,500 --> 00:52:46,920
- Throw wood, Sam!
1375
00:52:50,060 --> 00:52:51,650
- I think I'm gonna go try
1376
00:52:51,650 --> 00:52:53,400
and use the bathroom.
1377
00:52:55,610 --> 00:52:58,280
[cups clanging]
1378
00:53:09,740 --> 00:53:11,740
Hey, keep breathing Sam.
1379
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:15,780
Keep breathing Sam!
1380
00:53:17,860 --> 00:53:20,030
[sipping]
1381
00:53:20,910 --> 00:53:24,160
- This tea tastes odd, all of a sudden.
1382
00:53:25,730 --> 00:53:27,450
- It does, doesn't it?
1383
00:53:27,450 --> 00:53:31,920
Why is all this water
just lying on the ground?
1384
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:33,510
[sobbing]
1385
00:53:33,510 --> 00:53:35,010
- Its good though.
1386
00:53:38,240 --> 00:53:39,380
- You know.
1387
00:53:39,380 --> 00:53:42,790
I think maybe we should
try to get out of here.
1388
00:53:42,790 --> 00:53:44,240
- I don't see why.
1389
00:53:44,240 --> 00:53:45,250
It's comfortable.
1390
00:53:45,250 --> 00:53:46,840
Tea is warm.
1391
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,750
We don't seem to be in any danger.
1392
00:53:49,750 --> 00:53:51,650
[screaming]
1393
00:53:51,650 --> 00:53:52,820
- Hey, you can't run through here.
1394
00:53:52,820 --> 00:53:54,730
It's a Union army camp.
1395
00:53:57,870 --> 00:53:59,000
- You know,
1396
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,210
there is another door right over there.
1397
00:54:02,210 --> 00:54:03,050
- Mm-mm.
1398
00:54:04,030 --> 00:54:04,860
Should we?
1399
00:54:07,220 --> 00:54:09,880
[cups clanging]
1400
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:17,020
[harmonica playing]
1401
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:21,020
[screaming]
1402
00:54:27,740 --> 00:54:30,060
[soft music]
1403
00:54:35,580 --> 00:54:37,600
You sure about this?
1404
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:39,520
- Probably can't hurt.
1405
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:42,560
I guess we should go check out
what's really going on out there.
1406
00:54:54,100 --> 00:55:01,570
[suspenseful music]
1407
00:55:01,570 --> 00:55:04,820
...go back to the tea room...
1408
00:55:04,820 --> 00:55:05,820
- It's them!
1409
00:55:06,750 --> 00:55:09,410
[guns thudding]
1410
00:55:13,580 --> 00:55:16,560
- Why did they all just throw
their guns on the ground?
1411
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:17,950
- We don't want no trouble.
1412
00:55:17,950 --> 00:55:20,230
We've heard about you guys.
1413
00:55:20,230 --> 00:55:21,130
- You have?
1414
00:55:21,130 --> 00:55:22,040
- Sure.
1415
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:24,320
You're the Dixie devils.
1416
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,750
You're all over the papers.
1417
00:55:26,750 --> 00:55:27,740
- We are?
1418
00:55:27,740 --> 00:55:29,330
- We just want you to know,
1419
00:55:29,330 --> 00:55:32,880
none of us are gonna get any funny ideas.
1420
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,130
We'll do whatever you want.
1421
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:38,360
- Legalize it?
1422
00:55:43,500 --> 00:55:44,410
- Sure thing, man.
1423
00:55:44,410 --> 00:55:45,830
Consider it done.
1424
00:55:47,720 --> 00:55:51,020
- So, what happens now?
1425
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,240
- Well, you're in charge boss.
We're your hostages.
1426
00:55:54,980 --> 00:55:56,640
- But, like,
1427
00:55:57,610 --> 00:55:58,860
what did we do?
1428
00:55:59,930 --> 00:56:01,300
- Well,
1429
00:56:01,300 --> 00:56:03,090
I guess you could list your demands to...
1430
00:56:03,090 --> 00:56:05,250
General Ulysses S. Grant?
1431
00:56:05,250 --> 00:56:06,380
- Oh.
1432
00:56:07,210 --> 00:56:08,050
Well,
1433
00:56:09,300 --> 00:56:11,270
how do we find that dude?
1434
00:56:11,270 --> 00:56:15,300
- Oh. He's drunk off his ass over
in that big tent over there.
1435
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:22,050
[groaning]
1436
00:56:22,660 --> 00:56:25,980
[metals clanging]
1437
00:56:25,980 --> 00:56:26,960
- Is he is there?
1438
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:28,050
- That's him.
1439
00:56:33,580 --> 00:56:35,380
- Mr. Grant?
1440
00:56:35,380 --> 00:56:36,210
- What!
1441
00:56:38,100 --> 00:56:41,180
- Well, tell him you got some demands.
1442
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:45,270
- We have some demands.
1443
00:56:45,270 --> 00:56:46,270
- Who is it?
1444
00:56:47,460 --> 00:56:49,040
- The Dixie devils.
1445
00:56:50,810 --> 00:56:51,640
- Come in.
1446
00:57:01,990 --> 00:57:04,160
[panting]
1447
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:08,190
- Hey.
1448
00:57:08,190 --> 00:57:09,300
- Hi.
1449
00:57:09,620 --> 00:57:11,430
- Well, well.
1450
00:57:11,430 --> 00:57:15,270
If it isn't the heroes
from the Southern States?
1451
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:19,950
What can I do for you boys?
1452
00:57:20,660 --> 00:57:21,960
- Well,
1453
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:23,200
we're in your base,
1454
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:25,360
and we have all your dudes.
1455
00:57:27,260 --> 00:57:29,620
[burps, sniffs]
1456
00:57:30,260 --> 00:57:32,220
- Is that right?
1457
00:57:32,220 --> 00:57:33,400
- Sure did.
1458
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:35,150
We put up a hell of a fight,
1459
00:57:35,150 --> 00:57:36,480
but they got us.
1460
00:57:37,100 --> 00:57:41,310
- Well, I see your
reputation as well earned.
1461
00:57:44,500 --> 00:57:45,990
What do you boys want?
1462
00:57:45,990 --> 00:57:46,910
- We need to go to—
1463
00:57:46,910 --> 00:57:49,640
[vomits]
1464
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:51,910
[groaning]
1465
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,020
[gags]
1466
00:57:58,020 --> 00:58:00,380
[vomits]
1467
00:58:03,020 --> 00:58:06,820
[spits]
1468
00:58:14,380 --> 00:58:16,020
We need to go to Washington,
1469
00:58:16,020 --> 00:58:18,700
to talk to President Lincoln.
1470
00:58:18,700 --> 00:58:20,870
[chuckles]
1471
00:58:20,870 --> 00:58:22,210
- Really?
1472
00:58:22,210 --> 00:58:23,560
Okay.
1473
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:24,900
So, you want me,
1474
00:58:25,860 --> 00:58:27,820
the leader of the union army,
1475
00:58:27,820 --> 00:58:29,340
to take you two boys,
1476
00:58:29,340 --> 00:58:33,510
the most notorious warriors
in the Confederate army,
1477
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:36,120
to have a little sit down,
1478
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:39,540
with the president of our country, right?
1479
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:42,920
Little face time?
1480
00:58:44,340 --> 00:58:46,920
What you boys gonna talk about?
1481
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:50,710
- How it's bullshit that
weed stuff's illegal.
1482
00:58:50,710 --> 00:58:51,670
- Yeah, I mean,
1483
00:58:51,670 --> 00:58:54,090
as long as nobody's being hurt.
1484
00:58:54,090 --> 00:58:57,930
- What gives you the right to go around
and tell people how to live their lives?
1485
00:58:57,930 --> 00:58:59,180
- Well, that's rich.
1486
00:58:59,180 --> 00:59:00,640
Coming from a Confederate.
1487
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:01,940
- You're the fucking Confederate.
1488
00:59:01,940 --> 00:59:03,040
- You're the fucking Confederate!
1489
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:04,510
- Guys look.
1490
00:59:04,510 --> 00:59:05,490
I just think that,
1491
00:59:05,490 --> 00:59:09,120
everybody should be free to
make decisions for themselves.
1492
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:09,950
Okay?
1493
00:59:11,350 --> 00:59:12,350
[tumbler clangs]
1494
00:59:12,350 --> 00:59:14,240
- That is what this war is about.
1495
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:15,070
- Yeah, we know.
1496
00:59:15,070 --> 00:59:16,910
- Yeah, we started it.
1497
00:59:18,650 --> 00:59:21,400
[tumbler clangs]
1498
00:59:22,370 --> 00:59:24,620
[groaning]
1499
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:38,780
- I don't know why you two
boys are out there fighting,
1500
00:59:38,780 --> 00:59:41,900
but I'm out there for one thing.
1501
00:59:41,900 --> 00:59:42,730
Freedom.
1502
00:59:44,740 --> 00:59:45,850
- Oh.
1503
00:59:45,850 --> 00:59:47,040
Well, good.
1504
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:49,450
- I fight so that a man can work,
1505
00:59:49,450 --> 00:59:52,240
'cause he wants to work, and live,
1506
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,640
as he wants to live.
1507
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:58,190
- And smoke what he wants to smoke.
1508
00:59:58,190 --> 00:59:59,520
- Sure.
1509
00:59:59,520 --> 01:00:03,030
I fight so the men can cast
off the shackles of oppression,
1510
01:00:03,030 --> 01:00:04,650
and say loud and clear,
1511
01:00:04,650 --> 01:00:07,810
that no man is subservient to another.
1512
01:00:08,670 --> 01:00:09,500
- Yeah.
1513
01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:12,080
- Oh my God. That's totally
the same stuff we're into.
1514
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:14,400
- Freedom is not just a luxury,
1515
01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:18,050
to be enjoyed by the
elite and the powerful.
1516
01:00:18,050 --> 01:00:20,430
It is a sacred right,
1517
01:00:20,430 --> 01:00:23,160
to be shared by all men.
1518
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,700
- Yeah, that's what we've
been saying this whole time.
1519
01:00:25,700 --> 01:00:26,750
- And it is a right
1520
01:00:26,750 --> 01:00:29,240
that is promised to us,
1521
01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:30,990
by this great nation.
1522
01:00:32,170 --> 01:00:34,590
The United States of America.
1523
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,330
[groaning]
1524
01:00:51,300 --> 01:00:52,130
No.
1525
01:00:54,970 --> 01:00:58,390
You boys don't have any whiskey, do you?
1526
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:10,060
This is the worst part of my day.
1527
01:01:10,060 --> 01:01:10,890
No.
1528
01:01:13,380 --> 01:01:14,380
- Oh my God.
1529
01:01:17,860 --> 01:01:20,110
[groaning]
1530
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:32,050
[laughing]
1531
01:01:33,130 --> 01:01:34,760
I'm just messing with you guys.
1532
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:37,340
I got another bottle over here.
1533
01:01:38,970 --> 01:01:41,810
[bottle shutters]
1534
01:01:52,740 --> 01:01:53,580
- Sir.
1535
01:01:53,580 --> 01:01:54,420
- No.
1536
01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:06,400
- Mr. Grant.
1537
01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:09,450
I think we made a mistake.
1538
01:02:09,450 --> 01:02:10,610
- Yeah.
1539
01:02:10,610 --> 01:02:13,980
I mean we thought you guys
were the anti protestors,
1540
01:02:13,980 --> 01:02:17,170
but you guys are all about
letting people get blazed.
1541
01:02:17,170 --> 01:02:18,010
- I mean,
1542
01:02:18,010 --> 01:02:18,970
it was those other guys,
1543
01:02:18,970 --> 01:02:21,170
who started all the
fighting in the first place.
1544
01:02:21,170 --> 01:02:23,660
We just want everybody to be chill.
1545
01:02:23,660 --> 01:02:26,370
- Well, why don't you boys start,
1546
01:02:26,370 --> 01:02:29,060
by putting down your guns.
1547
01:02:29,060 --> 01:02:30,050
- Oh, I'm sorry about that.
1548
01:02:30,050 --> 01:02:32,050
- Yeah, super not chill.
1549
01:02:33,560 --> 01:02:34,540
- Yeah.
1550
01:02:34,540 --> 01:02:35,640
- Suck a dick.
1551
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:36,750
- [Sam] Fuck!
1552
01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:37,750
- Not cool.
1553
01:02:37,750 --> 01:02:40,330
[guns cocking]
1554
01:02:42,420 --> 01:02:43,890
So you guys are really gonna shoot us?
1555
01:02:43,890 --> 01:02:44,740
- Yeah.
1556
01:02:44,740 --> 01:02:45,750
- Really?
1557
01:02:45,750 --> 01:02:46,970
- Man, that's so messed up.
1558
01:02:46,970 --> 01:02:48,270
We didn't do anything
like this to you guys,
1559
01:02:48,270 --> 01:02:49,830
when we had you hostage.
1560
01:02:49,830 --> 01:02:50,670
- Sorry.
1561
01:02:50,670 --> 01:02:51,770
Boss' orders.
1562
01:02:51,770 --> 01:02:53,390
- I'm gonna burn you bad.
1563
01:02:53,390 --> 01:02:54,230
- Uh-huh!
1564
01:02:55,740 --> 01:02:57,350
- Hey guys.
1565
01:02:57,350 --> 01:02:58,180
- Doug.
1566
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:00,740
- Hey big D.
1567
01:03:00,740 --> 01:03:01,920
- Hey guys.
1568
01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:03,330
- Hey, what's going on man?
1569
01:03:03,330 --> 01:03:04,600
- Hey, where you been?
1570
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:06,790
- Well, after you guys got
picked up with the Indians,
1571
01:03:06,790 --> 01:03:09,100
I went and met back up
with the Confederates.
1572
01:03:09,100 --> 01:03:10,200
- Hey, how are they doing?
1573
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:11,040
- They're good.
1574
01:03:11,040 --> 01:03:11,870
They're really good.
1575
01:03:11,870 --> 01:03:13,060
- How's that Robert E. Lee doing?
1576
01:03:13,060 --> 01:03:14,010
- Oh, you know him.
1577
01:03:14,010 --> 01:03:15,560
He's always busy doing stuff.
1578
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:17,920
He's too busy to talk to somebody like me.
1579
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:20,070
- Yeah, he was always doing stuff.
1580
01:03:20,070 --> 01:03:20,940
- Yeah.
1581
01:03:20,940 --> 01:03:22,860
- Anyways, after everybody went to sleep,
1582
01:03:22,860 --> 01:03:25,490
I drank a whole mess of water,
1583
01:03:25,490 --> 01:03:28,960
and then I had to go relieve myself,
1584
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:30,270
and I got busted.
1585
01:03:30,270 --> 01:03:31,140
[chuckles]
1586
01:03:31,140 --> 01:03:32,040
- You got busted.
1587
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:32,970
- I got busted.
1588
01:03:32,970 --> 01:03:34,800
- Yeah, we got busted by their boss.
1589
01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:36,310
- Yeah, he was all like, "Suck a dick,"
1590
01:03:36,310 --> 01:03:37,850
And we were like, "Nooo!"
1591
01:03:37,850 --> 01:03:40,890
- He made y'all suck his dick?
1592
01:03:40,890 --> 01:03:42,610
- No, Doug.
1593
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:43,440
- Oh.
1594
01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:44,270
- Well.
1595
01:03:47,650 --> 01:03:49,850
You boy's got any last requests?
1596
01:03:49,850 --> 01:03:51,090
- Yeah, I want to see that soldier
1597
01:03:51,090 --> 01:03:52,870
get kicked in the head by a mule.
1598
01:03:52,870 --> 01:03:53,700
- Huh?
1599
01:03:55,670 --> 01:03:56,500
Okay.
1600
01:03:56,500 --> 01:03:57,340
- What?
1601
01:04:01,260 --> 01:04:02,790
- Wait a minute, Doug.
1602
01:04:02,790 --> 01:04:05,330
If you said a union soldier caught
you just outside of your camp,
1603
01:04:05,330 --> 01:04:08,640
then that means that the
Confederates are really close by.
1604
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:09,470
- Yeah.
1605
01:04:09,470 --> 01:04:11,700
Lee's got a whole mass of men
just over that ridge there.
1606
01:04:11,700 --> 01:04:15,340
He's getting them all ready, for some
sort of early morning raid today.
1607
01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:17,050
- Oh my God.
1608
01:04:17,050 --> 01:04:18,810
We gotta warn General Grant.
1609
01:04:18,810 --> 01:04:20,310
- But these are the bad guys.
1610
01:04:20,310 --> 01:04:21,270
- No, no. We switched sides.
1611
01:04:21,270 --> 01:04:23,050
We like these guys now.
1612
01:04:23,050 --> 01:04:24,270
- Oh, well I'm with you guys.
1613
01:04:24,270 --> 01:04:25,390
- General Grant!
1614
01:04:25,390 --> 01:04:26,230
- Grant!
1615
01:04:26,230 --> 01:04:27,060
- General Grant!
1616
01:04:27,060 --> 01:04:28,100
- Grant!
1617
01:04:28,100 --> 01:04:30,090
- What is it now?
1618
01:04:30,090 --> 01:04:32,140
- General Grant, Robert E.
Lee's got a whole army of men,
1619
01:04:32,140 --> 01:04:33,160
just over that ridge.
1620
01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:34,940
He's gonna attack at any minute.
1621
01:04:34,940 --> 01:04:36,460
[laughs]
1622
01:04:36,460 --> 01:04:38,080
- I love the shit that
comes out of a man's mouth,
1623
01:04:38,080 --> 01:04:40,530
right before he gets
a bullet in the brain.
1624
01:04:40,530 --> 01:04:41,380
[laughs]
1625
01:04:41,380 --> 01:04:42,230
All right, boys,
1626
01:04:42,230 --> 01:04:43,710
Let's warm them up!
1627
01:04:43,710 --> 01:04:46,350
Start with the one on the left.
1628
01:04:46,350 --> 01:04:48,740
- No, Mr. Grant, you gotta listen.
1629
01:04:48,740 --> 01:04:49,760
- Now hold on fellas.
1630
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:51,030
I got this.
1631
01:04:51,030 --> 01:04:51,860
- Aim!
1632
01:04:51,860 --> 01:04:52,720
[guns cocking]
1633
01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:54,170
- Oh man, Union Army.
1634
01:04:54,170 --> 01:04:56,670
My stomach is just killing me.
1635
01:04:59,670 --> 01:05:00,500
Oh shit.
1636
01:05:00,500 --> 01:05:01,340
- Fire.
1637
01:05:01,340 --> 01:05:03,740
[guns shooting]
1638
01:05:03,740 --> 01:05:05,370
- [Both] Doug!
1639
01:05:05,370 --> 01:05:06,210
- Wait!
1640
01:05:06,210 --> 01:05:07,390
- I'll take the two on the left.
1641
01:05:07,390 --> 01:05:08,740
You take the five on the right.
1642
01:05:08,740 --> 01:05:09,580
Ready? Go!
1643
01:05:10,790 --> 01:05:12,250
- Now is the time to send the Dixie devils
1644
01:05:12,250 --> 01:05:14,130
back to hell where they belong.
1645
01:05:14,130 --> 01:05:15,530
- General Grant, you gotta listen to me.
1646
01:05:15,530 --> 01:05:17,090
The Confederates are on their way.
1647
01:05:17,090 --> 01:05:17,920
- Ready?
1648
01:05:19,350 --> 01:05:20,190
Aim!
1649
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:30,070
- Wait!
1650
01:05:30,070 --> 01:05:31,490
He speaks the truth.
1651
01:05:31,490 --> 01:05:33,970
I was scouting less than a mile away.
1652
01:05:33,970 --> 01:05:35,790
They're right on top of us.
1653
01:05:35,790 --> 01:05:37,410
Seven battalions.
1654
01:05:37,410 --> 01:05:39,660
He must to have 10,000 men.
1655
01:05:42,210 --> 01:05:44,710
- That's over half his army.
1656
01:05:44,710 --> 01:05:47,760
We can't put up a fight
against a force like that.
1657
01:05:47,760 --> 01:05:49,130
It's over.
1658
01:05:49,130 --> 01:05:51,020
We're gonna be fish in a barrel!
1659
01:05:51,020 --> 01:05:53,040
Run for your lives everybody!
1660
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,210
Run!
1661
01:05:54,210 --> 01:05:55,220
Head for the hills.
1662
01:05:55,220 --> 01:05:57,890
Live your lives in hiding.
1663
01:05:57,890 --> 01:06:00,200
Fish in a barrel...
1664
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:02,310
Fish in a barrel?
1665
01:06:02,310 --> 01:06:05,310
Sam, remember those guys would just
get high and follow fish around?
1666
01:06:05,310 --> 01:06:06,050
- Yeah?
1667
01:06:06,050 --> 01:06:08,470
- Do you remember where
they planted their field?
1668
01:06:08,470 --> 01:06:09,550
- Yeah.
1669
01:06:09,550 --> 01:06:10,450
- General Grant!
1670
01:06:10,450 --> 01:06:12,250
General Grant!
1671
01:06:12,250 --> 01:06:13,230
- What?
1672
01:06:13,230 --> 01:06:16,030
- We know how you can beat Lee.
1673
01:06:16,030 --> 01:06:17,360
- You do?
1674
01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:18,200
- Yeah.
1675
01:06:21,500 --> 01:06:23,960
- Right, everybody come back!
1676
01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:26,460
[flute music]
1677
01:06:32,270 --> 01:06:34,560
Are you sure this is gonna work?
1678
01:06:34,560 --> 01:06:36,150
- Not at all, sir.
1679
01:06:36,150 --> 01:06:38,400
- Then you better be right.
1680
01:06:39,810 --> 01:06:41,890
You know what I mean.
1681
01:06:41,890 --> 01:06:45,010
- Okay, Sam, they're in the field,
1682
01:06:45,010 --> 01:06:46,110
now is the time.
1683
01:06:46,110 --> 01:06:47,200
- Got it.
1684
01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:49,200
All right, spark it up.
1685
01:06:50,860 --> 01:06:53,830
[flute music]
1686
01:06:53,830 --> 01:06:57,000
[footsteps ascending]
1687
01:07:11,290 --> 01:07:13,540
[coughing]
1688
01:07:19,380 --> 01:07:21,630
[laughing]
1689
01:07:25,410 --> 01:07:26,710
- It's working.
1690
01:07:26,710 --> 01:07:27,760
- All right, men.
1691
01:07:27,760 --> 01:07:29,290
It's go time!
1692
01:07:29,290 --> 01:07:30,460
[guns clanging]
1693
01:07:30,460 --> 01:07:31,880
Handkerchiefs on!
1694
01:07:32,740 --> 01:07:34,630
And let's get them!
1695
01:07:34,630 --> 01:07:36,010
- But remember,
1696
01:07:36,010 --> 01:07:37,760
don't kill anybody.
1697
01:07:37,760 --> 01:07:39,210
Just I don't know,
1698
01:07:39,210 --> 01:07:41,470
hit him in the head with
your guns or something.
1699
01:07:41,470 --> 01:07:42,770
- Fine. Okay.
1700
01:07:42,770 --> 01:07:44,260
- This one is for Doug!
1701
01:07:44,260 --> 01:07:47,070
- Actually these guys killed Doug.
1702
01:07:47,070 --> 01:07:47,900
- Charge!
1703
01:07:52,240 --> 01:07:54,570
[screaming]
1704
01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:05,700
[reggae music]
1705
01:08:16,360 --> 01:08:18,530
[screams]
1706
01:08:21,280 --> 01:08:23,860
[reggae music]
1707
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:36,220
[reggae music continues]
1708
01:08:46,470 --> 01:08:47,300
- Yeah!
1709
01:08:49,550 --> 01:08:51,340
[screams]
1710
01:08:51,340 --> 01:08:53,430
[laughs]
1711
01:08:55,990 --> 01:08:57,890
[trumpet music]
1712
01:08:57,890 --> 01:09:00,700
- [General Grant] This document
outlines the terms of your surrender.
1713
01:09:01,160 --> 01:09:02,700
You sign here,
1714
01:09:02,700 --> 01:09:04,210
the war's over.
1715
01:09:10,740 --> 01:09:12,650
- Here you go Mr. Lee.
1716
01:09:12,650 --> 01:09:15,160
- Hey! I know you!
1717
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:16,330
It's me.
1718
01:09:16,330 --> 01:09:17,260
Girl brains! Huh?
1719
01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:19,560
I know him.
1720
01:09:20,620 --> 01:09:22,620
What are you doing here?
1721
01:09:23,460 --> 01:09:24,890
[tapping]
1722
01:09:24,890 --> 01:09:26,000
- Extra! Extra!
1723
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:27,090
Local heroes switch sides.
1724
01:09:27,090 --> 01:09:28,350
Win war.
1725
01:09:28,350 --> 01:09:31,360
- Man, that was a good flag though.
1726
01:09:31,360 --> 01:09:34,360
[audience agreeing]
1727
01:09:35,800 --> 01:09:38,120
- [Man] He held out as long as he could.
1728
01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:40,520
And if the infection had
not reached his brain,
1729
01:09:40,520 --> 01:09:42,630
then he would have lived to see this day,
1730
01:09:42,630 --> 01:09:46,480
I'm sure, he would have
been proud of his son.
1731
01:09:46,480 --> 01:09:50,730
Or furious, I'm not sure
where he stood in the war.
1732
01:09:57,170 --> 01:09:58,020
- Oh!
1733
01:09:58,020 --> 01:10:01,130
Bob, you came back to visit me, huh?
1734
01:10:01,130 --> 01:10:02,630
It was Bob, right?
1735
01:10:04,590 --> 01:10:06,670
[laughs]
1736
01:10:16,180 --> 01:10:19,770
- President Lincoln will see you now.
1737
01:10:19,770 --> 01:10:21,860
[sighs]
1738
01:10:34,230 --> 01:10:36,230
[sighs]
1739
01:10:39,020 --> 01:10:41,110
- Boys, good to meet you.
1740
01:10:42,390 --> 01:10:43,490
Bang up job.
1741
01:10:43,490 --> 01:10:46,570
You've managed to end the
United States civil war
1742
01:10:46,570 --> 01:10:47,470
in three days,
1743
01:10:47,470 --> 01:10:49,970
and all told we only lost 150 people.
1744
01:10:49,970 --> 01:10:50,800
[laughs]
1745
01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:52,080
- Yeah, sorry about that.
1746
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:53,480
Things got out of hand.
1747
01:10:53,480 --> 01:10:55,720
- We should have been more
clearer on our flyers.
1748
01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:58,940
- Well, I want you to know you
have my sincerest gratitude.
1749
01:10:58,940 --> 01:10:59,940
I thank you.
1750
01:11:01,190 --> 01:11:03,150
And this country thanks you.
1751
01:11:03,150 --> 01:11:04,100
Now, I want you to know,
1752
01:11:04,100 --> 01:11:06,330
if there's ever anything
that you two need,
1753
01:11:06,330 --> 01:11:08,650
my door will always be open.
1754
01:11:08,650 --> 01:11:09,990
- Dude.
1755
01:11:09,990 --> 01:11:10,910
That rules.
1756
01:11:12,040 --> 01:11:12,880
Thanks.
1757
01:11:15,040 --> 01:11:15,870
- Sam.
1758
01:11:24,080 --> 01:11:25,690
- Actually,
1759
01:11:25,690 --> 01:11:30,670
Mr Lincoln, there is something
that you could do for us.
1760
01:11:30,670 --> 01:11:31,500
See.
1761
01:11:32,480 --> 01:11:33,790
We started this whole thing,
1762
01:11:33,790 --> 01:11:36,450
because we believe in something.
1763
01:11:37,290 --> 01:11:38,120
We believe,
1764
01:11:38,120 --> 01:11:41,030
that people out there wanna
smoke that weed stuff,
1765
01:11:41,030 --> 01:11:43,200
that gets you high.
1766
01:11:43,200 --> 01:11:44,760
As long as they're not hurting themselves
1767
01:11:44,760 --> 01:11:46,100
or anybody else,
1768
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:51,490
that's really not any of
the government's business.
1769
01:11:51,490 --> 01:11:52,990
- Yeah, it's like,
1770
01:11:53,890 --> 01:11:56,140
the government can suck it.
1771
01:11:57,210 --> 01:11:59,160
- We have traveled many miles,
1772
01:11:59,160 --> 01:12:02,000
and survived many battles to get here,
1773
01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:04,500
so that we could humbly ask you.
1774
01:12:04,500 --> 01:12:06,310
Please Mr. President,
1775
01:12:06,310 --> 01:12:08,370
do the right thing.
1776
01:12:08,370 --> 01:12:11,040
Make the weed stuff legal again.
1777
01:12:12,680 --> 01:12:14,000
- Okay, wait a minute.
1778
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:14,830
Are you...
1779
01:12:15,960 --> 01:12:17,560
Are you telling me that you two morons,
1780
01:12:17,560 --> 01:12:19,090
fought this entire war,
1781
01:12:19,090 --> 01:12:22,590
because you thought marijuana was illegal?
1782
01:12:28,630 --> 01:12:29,460
- Yeah.
1783
01:12:29,460 --> 01:12:30,300
- Slavery!
1784
01:12:30,300 --> 01:12:32,460
The war was about slavery.
1785
01:12:34,220 --> 01:12:35,620
God damn it!
1786
01:12:35,620 --> 01:12:36,450
- Wait a minute.
1787
01:12:36,450 --> 01:12:41,410
Did we win the war for
slavery or against slavery?
1788
01:12:41,410 --> 01:12:43,000
- Against slavery!
1789
01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:44,060
Jesus Christ!
1790
01:12:44,060 --> 01:12:44,840
- Thank God.
1791
01:12:44,840 --> 01:12:46,120
We have this friend at home,
1792
01:12:46,120 --> 01:12:48,120
that would be pissed.
1793
01:12:48,120 --> 01:12:49,490
- How is this even possible?
1794
01:12:49,490 --> 01:12:51,000
Is it the school system?
1795
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:52,830
- Well, it can't be.
1796
01:12:52,830 --> 01:12:54,390
I didn't graduate.
1797
01:12:54,390 --> 01:12:55,810
- Is it your home life?
1798
01:12:55,810 --> 01:12:56,700
- Can't be.
1799
01:12:56,700 --> 01:12:57,620
- Homeless.
1800
01:12:58,630 --> 01:13:00,010
- Jesus Christ!
1801
01:13:00,010 --> 01:13:01,440
- Wait a minute.
1802
01:13:01,440 --> 01:13:05,290
But then why was everybody
back home so riled up?
1803
01:13:05,290 --> 01:13:06,860
- Slavery!
1804
01:13:06,860 --> 01:13:07,860
- [Both] Oh!
1805
01:13:08,990 --> 01:13:10,000
- Right.
1806
01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:12,540
- I am so embarrassed.
1807
01:13:12,540 --> 01:13:13,370
- Wait a minute.
1808
01:13:13,370 --> 01:13:17,120
So you're telling me that it's
legal to smoke the weed stuff?
1809
01:13:17,120 --> 01:13:18,280
- Hello!
1810
01:13:18,280 --> 01:13:19,560
Yeah, it's a plant.
1811
01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:20,640
It's around.
1812
01:13:20,640 --> 01:13:21,790
It's in nature.
1813
01:13:21,790 --> 01:13:23,310
Our forefathers left England,
1814
01:13:23,310 --> 01:13:25,330
to get away from oppressive law.
1815
01:13:25,330 --> 01:13:26,600
This entire nation,
1816
01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:30,270
is founded on the idea
of personal freedoms.
1817
01:13:33,290 --> 01:13:34,950
- So it was always legal?
1818
01:13:34,950 --> 01:13:35,790
- Yeah!
1819
01:13:35,790 --> 01:13:37,100
Legal the whole time.
1820
01:13:37,100 --> 01:13:38,240
Legal now.
1821
01:13:38,240 --> 01:13:39,800
Always gonna be legal.
1822
01:13:39,800 --> 01:13:42,890
This is the United States of America!
1823
01:13:45,560 --> 01:13:46,390
Fuck me!
1824
01:13:50,380 --> 01:13:53,820
- I feel bad that Lincoln yelled at us.
1825
01:13:53,820 --> 01:13:56,540
He's not as nice as I thought he would be.
1826
01:13:56,540 --> 01:13:59,440
- Yeah, pennies are bullshit.
1827
01:13:59,440 --> 01:14:02,620
- I feel bad that we got
all those people killed.
1828
01:14:02,620 --> 01:14:03,460
- Yeah.
1829
01:14:05,850 --> 01:14:08,190
But, we did free the slaves.
1830
01:14:09,640 --> 01:14:10,980
- Yeah.
1831
01:14:10,980 --> 01:14:12,350
That's right.
1832
01:14:12,350 --> 01:14:13,680
- We are heroes.
1833
01:14:16,040 --> 01:14:17,630
♪ We are Trevor and Sam ♪
1834
01:14:17,630 --> 01:14:19,500
♪ And we freed the slaves ♪
1835
01:14:19,500 --> 01:14:21,450
♪ We can free the slaves ♪
1836
01:14:21,450 --> 01:14:23,450
♪ 'Cause we are Trevor and Sam ♪
1837
01:14:23,450 --> 01:14:25,080
♪ We're Trevor and Sam ♪
1838
01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:27,500
♪ And we free the slaves ♪
1839
01:14:27,500 --> 01:14:29,150
♪ We can free the slaves ♪
1840
01:14:29,150 --> 01:14:32,130
♪ 'Cause we're Trevor and Sam ♪
1841
01:14:32,130 --> 01:14:33,240
- Hey.
1842
01:14:33,240 --> 01:14:34,070
Hey Doug.
1843
01:14:35,280 --> 01:14:36,530
- Doug, no way.
1844
01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:39,010
All right, man.
1845
01:14:40,260 --> 01:14:42,930
[Sam] All right, looking good man
1846
01:14:42,930 --> 01:14:44,370
- Yeah, Doug.
1847
01:14:44,370 --> 01:14:45,210
- Oh man,
1848
01:14:46,100 --> 01:14:47,100
we are high.
1849
01:14:48,500 --> 01:14:50,750
[laughing]
1850
01:14:56,130 --> 01:14:57,790
[laughing]
1851
01:14:57,790 --> 01:14:58,940
Yeah, Doug.
1852
01:14:58,940 --> 01:14:59,830
- All right.
1853
01:14:59,830 --> 01:15:02,960
- Oh man, I'm glad he's okay.
1854
01:15:02,960 --> 01:15:03,800
- Yeah.
1855
01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:05,120
I don't think he is though.
1856
01:15:05,120 --> 01:15:06,600
- What?
1857
01:15:06,600 --> 01:15:09,050
- I mean, look, you can see through him.
1858
01:15:09,050 --> 01:15:09,880
- Oh.
1859
01:15:11,320 --> 01:15:14,410
- Yeah, Doug. I think you're a ghost.
1860
01:15:15,350 --> 01:15:17,770
I think you're a ghost, Doug.
1861
01:15:20,020 --> 01:15:21,590
I guess that means your soul
1862
01:15:21,590 --> 01:15:25,170
has some unfinished
business here on earth.
1863
01:15:26,470 --> 01:15:27,830
I would try to find somebody
1864
01:15:27,830 --> 01:15:30,580
to help you solve whatever it is.
1865
01:15:32,860 --> 01:15:33,690
- Not us man.
1866
01:15:33,690 --> 01:15:35,350
- No.
1867
01:15:35,350 --> 01:15:37,230
- No, we are too high.
1868
01:15:37,230 --> 01:15:39,170
- Yeah. We can't help you Doug.
1869
01:15:39,170 --> 01:15:40,420
We're too high.
1870
01:15:42,370 --> 01:15:44,700
We can't help you Doug, we're too high.
1871
01:15:44,700 --> 01:15:47,280
- Doug, he said we're too high.
1872
01:15:48,520 --> 01:15:49,350
- Doug.
1873
01:15:49,350 --> 01:15:50,380
We like you and all.
1874
01:15:50,380 --> 01:15:51,710
We're just too high to help you.
1875
01:15:51,710 --> 01:15:52,540
- Yeah.
1876
01:15:53,690 --> 01:15:55,560
Seriously Doug we're too high.
1877
01:15:55,560 --> 01:15:56,390
Stop.
1878
01:15:56,390 --> 01:15:58,310
- Doug we're too high.
1879
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:02,070
- We said we're too high Doug.
1880
01:16:02,070 --> 01:16:03,510
- Doug, we're too high.
1881
01:16:03,510 --> 01:16:04,840
I'm high, he's high.
1882
01:16:04,840 --> 01:16:06,130
- I'm so high.
1883
01:16:06,130 --> 01:16:06,960
- Doug.
1884
01:16:06,960 --> 01:16:07,930
Doug.
1885
01:16:07,930 --> 01:16:09,950
Doug, don't be like that.
1886
01:16:09,950 --> 01:16:10,790
- Doug.
1887
01:16:14,670 --> 01:16:18,320
- We can't help you
Doug. We're too high.
1888
01:16:18,320 --> 01:16:19,180
- Damn it Doug.
1889
01:16:19,180 --> 01:16:20,760
We said we're high.
1890
01:16:22,260 --> 01:16:24,930
- We're too high Doug.
1891
01:16:24,930 --> 01:16:26,490
We can't help.
1892
01:16:26,490 --> 01:16:27,760
- Doug, we are too high.
1893
01:16:27,760 --> 01:16:28,860
- What do you want from us?
1894
01:16:28,860 --> 01:16:30,110
- We're too high to help you.
1895
01:16:30,110 --> 01:16:31,730
- We're stoned.
1896
01:16:31,730 --> 01:16:32,980
- Doug we're...
1897
01:16:34,160 --> 01:16:35,570
Doug we're too high!
1898
01:16:35,570 --> 01:16:39,320
[dramatic music]
1899
01:16:40,770 --> 01:16:44,800
[Inspiring banjo music]
1900
01:16:48,260 --> 01:16:50,430
♪ Two young boys from ole Virginnie
1901
01:16:50,430 --> 01:16:52,700
♪ One poor and one o' em rich
1902
01:16:52,700 --> 01:16:55,120
♪ Sleepin' on the finest cotton
1903
01:16:55,120 --> 01:16:57,060
♪ The other 'n in a ditch
1904
01:16:57,060 --> 01:16:59,150
♪ They found out about the weed stuff
1905
01:16:59,150 --> 01:17:01,030
♪ from a friend of theirs in town
1906
01:17:01,030 --> 01:17:05,660
♪ Better powder up your muskets,
Dixie Devil's comin' 'round
1907
01:17:09,330 --> 01:17:11,360
♪ Well the war broke out at Sumpter
1908
01:17:11,360 --> 01:17:13,900
♪ Bombs and rockets stained the sky
1909
01:17:13,900 --> 01:17:16,000
♪ Our heroes didn't know this
1910
01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:18,110
♪ 'Cause they were just too high
1911
01:17:18,110 --> 01:17:20,080
♪ But history waits for no man
1912
01:17:20,080 --> 01:17:22,060
♪ You can feel it 'cross the town
1913
01:17:22,060 --> 01:17:27,060
♪ So powder up your muskets,
Dixie Devil's comin' 'round
1914
01:17:30,860 --> 01:17:32,810
♪ There's a lot of life behind us
1915
01:17:32,810 --> 01:17:34,510
♪ Even more yet up in front
1916
01:17:34,910 --> 01:17:37,030
♪ They turned on Robert E. Lee
1917
01:17:37,030 --> 01:17:39,160
♪ 'Cause he was such a cunt
1918
01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:41,240
♪ They joined up with Ulysses
1919
01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:43,050
♪ And brought the whole war to an end
1920
01:17:43,050 --> 01:17:47,800
♪ Better powder up your muskets,
Dixie Devils ride again
1921
01:17:58,950 --> 01:18:00,770
[Drum solo]
1922
01:18:01,880 --> 01:18:04,280
[Cartoon sound effects]
[Kids:]Holy shit!
117576
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