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hey Kenny Kenny we're going to his house
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to watch TV okay honey
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what are you two up to nothing just
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hanging out we'll just make sure you
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hang out with the door open nothing
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actually hangs out this is so cool
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I can't believe we're jacking your mom's
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car Kenny you have to sit in the back
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why because I don't have my license
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anyone sees me driving they have to
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think I'm my mom oh they will it's
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actually kind of scary how ladylike you
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look don't worry as soon as we get close
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to the girls house all lose the wig I
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can't wait until Diane and her friend
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see me driving with any luck I'll be
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driving up a virgin driving home a well
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oiled sex machine or a virgin who stole
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his mom's car and got thrown in jail and
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then became a well oiled sex machine
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I can't believe we got all the way to
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Diane's house and you forgot to take off
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your mom's blouse well at least the
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girls know who I am now I'd rather they
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not know who I am to be the guy who
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wears his mom's clothes hey you want to
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come over I just got the new Kelly
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Clarkson CD you're so gay sometimes he
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was just kidding right he doesn't know
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does he
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Kenny you know what not popular because
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you're weird and puberty is no that's
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why you're not popular my problem is
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that not enough people really know me
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but that's about to change
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second a great plan to raise my profile
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you're not thinking about that bomb
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thing again are you that was a bad joke
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taken out of context and I think the
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school therapist and I covered
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everything
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anyway I'm auditioning for the school
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play have you ever heard of Annie Get
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Your Gun the 1946 Tony award-winning
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Broadway musical with music and lyrics
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by Irving Berlin that made Ethel Merman
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a legend I don't know it sounds kind of
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familiar
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well I'm trying out for the part of
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Buffalo Bill now I'm gonna get when
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everyone sees me on that stage dancing
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and singing they're gonna know how cool
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I am I think that's awesome
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but are you sure other people will I
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mean a lot of the guys in the drama
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department are gay are you no and why
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are you always asking me that besides
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that's another reason to do it it'll
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totally increase my odds of getting a
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girlfriend I'll be like the only guy in
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the play who isn't gay hmm maybe I
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should audition you know so I could get
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a girlfriend too everything about it is
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appealing yeah not so feeling come on
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you got to sell it
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Buffalo Bill thrives on his audience now
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one more time everything about it is
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appealing everything the traffic will
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allow nowhere can you get that happy
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feeling Whitney okay take five ladies
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I am freaking out I still can't believe
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you're gonna be Buffalo Bill I know my
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plane is going so well today and you get
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your gun tomorrow and he gets your
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panties off hey Kenny if I show you
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something you promise not to tell anyone
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if you show me yours I'll show you mine
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uh yeah I guess oh my god that's
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marijuana oh dude
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Larry haven't you been paying attention
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in health class marijuana is a gateway
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drug relax it's not like I'm gonna smoke
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it but I bet some of those hotties in
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the drama department will want to first
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they can experiment with this then they
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can experiment with this oh so where did
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you get it from I stole it for my
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sister's drawer wicked I'm so jealous
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trying not to hate all of you right now
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not working
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musical wow you know maybe we can visit
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great aunt Sylvia at the home on the way
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back so what are we going Saturday night
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hey if Hillary can't go I know someone
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who loves musicals just as much as I do
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and would kill to go I'm sure it
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wouldn't be a problem finding someone
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yeah Marlys can love this Marla I'm
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psyched for you guys okay I'm gonna let
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you in on a little secret
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I don't like Marla as much as I pretend
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to she gets over here I'm breaking up
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with her and it's really up to you I
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support you either way hey you want to
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go to the comic book store would I let
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me just go tell my mom
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Marla hi
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hey guys oh hi Kenny hey can't we take a
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rain check on the comic book store no
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problem yeah you guys have fun so what
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are you doing watching TV alone hey Mike
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once you take Kenny upstairs and show
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him that new video game yeah that's
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gonna happen
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I love figure skating
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it's called hockey you do have other
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friends up sighs Larry right of course
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not really well maybe you should think
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about making another friend you know
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someone to hang out with when Larry's
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not available you know like now David
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you're right I should there you go
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and maybe I'll make a bunch of new
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friends I think one's a good target
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Kenny hit me three times
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really hard
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okay didn't really hurt but it was
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humiliating
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he just thinks he can get away with this
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cuz he thinks I'm a wuss well I showed
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him I packed my bags and walk fine out
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there very unsettling so can I stay here
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with you guys for a while and can stay
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as long as you want
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right mom of course no Kenny do your
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homework and your chores then you can
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watch 15 minutes of TV thanks mom 15
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minutes of TV it's not so bad
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so which half of that 70 show do you
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want to watch oh it's you please Larry
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here maybe he is maybe he isn't just get
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him
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my dad hates me yeah so does mine but
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this is different
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first my dad thought I was gay now he
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thinks I'm a transvestite you're lucky
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my dad just doesn't like me my dad can't
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even talk to me I don't know maybe I'm
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just gonna tell him the truth that you
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dressed up in women's clothes so no one
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would recognize you when you stole your
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mom's car he's gonna ground you for a
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year yeah it's not like I actually have
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any plans you know what I am going to
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tell him
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sometimes you're new I've no other
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choice you just got to be honest
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sometimes I wish we were more than just
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friends
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yeah it's always better to be honest am
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I such a loser that my mom can't believe
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I stole her car but she can't believe I
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wear women's panties and what the hell
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is a leather queen how would I know
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hey what are you two doing Oh
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Kenny's helping me with my costume for
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Annie Get Your Gun what do you think
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great I can't wait to see the pants
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there are pants aren't there man not
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only is this play gonna be a ton of fun
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my plan is totally working yeah I know
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how that girl Bonnie who paints the sets
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has totally been flirting with me she is
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so cute yeah she is for a girl you
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laughed when I said getting in this play
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would make me a chick magnet pass the
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bedazzler so today's the big show huh
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please don't give me a hard time about
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this I've been getting enough of that
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from dad no really I think it's
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impressive I mean I could never do
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something like that
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remembering all those speeches and all
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those dance steps
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I'd be so afraid of screwing up in front
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of the whole school
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I'd be peeing in my pants look dad I
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think I'm gonna throw up
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why am I doing this maybe my dad was
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right maybe this is stupid and what if I
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do screw it all up I'm gonna look like a
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total idiot Larry get it together this
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is just opening night jitters you've
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worked hard and you are gonna be great
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no you're right thanks Jenny
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no problem so maybe after the play we
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can go to Hojo's and split a banana
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split are you kidding I have a cast
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party Bonnie and I are totally gonna
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hook up the adrenaline of show night
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it's like a natural aphrodisiac just
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remember what they said in health class
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the safest sex there's no sex at all
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it's amazing
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you really can't get anything online
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someone's selling a gently used blow-up
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doll Hey look somebody been on one of
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your baseball cards already Wow
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$75 that's more than this girl's getting
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for a virginity but is the card really
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worth that I mean we airbrush out the
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fold marks the eBay Terms of Service
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expressly forbid this whoa another
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bidder can you believe someone's willing
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to pay 90 bucks for a Reggie Jackson
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card what a sucker I guess you weren't
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looking out your window coz I told you
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when the auction ended I chime the
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bat-signal
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you mean some idiot paid $200 for the
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Reggie Jackson card you sold the Reggie
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Jackson card well you said it was the
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most valuable one yeah but Larry I gave
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you that collection of cards because it
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meant something to me I'm sorry you did
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give me the cards I thought they were
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mine and I could do what I wanted with
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them gives my gift it is a gift isn't it
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dad
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good news I just checked anyone Reggie
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Jackson card auction fine you don't have
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to pay but if you don't I'm leaving
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negative feedback go
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hey you want to try to find more rocks
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that look like famous people I can't I
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have to write this stupid poem for
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English about my secret desire I'm
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listening
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I got nothing everything I've tried
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sounds like a letter to Penthouse Forum
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well have tons of poems in my journal I
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can give you one if you want you keep a
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journal yeah you're right poems in it
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yeah it's not a little you want one or
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not hey mom
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hey your English teacher just called
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mrs. Lerner called here mm-hmm
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why she wanted to talk about a certain
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poem you wrote she said you got an A of
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course she called the SAG on me I mean
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miles who should be calling I can't
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think of another reason because there is
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no other reason it was because I got an
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A which is what I thought all along I
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got well I'm not surprised anyone who
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writes a poem that original that
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touching deserves an A way to go mayor
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she liked it so much she submitted you
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for a Golden Key Award and you're
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getting one oh honey I'm so proud of you
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a golden keyboard wow what is that an
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annual event in Albany where the
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lieutenant governor gives key shaped
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pins to deserving young writers hey
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honey guess what
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Larry won an award for a poem I wrote
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and the presentation is this Saturday in
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Albany yeah aren't you gonna say
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something
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yeah you're taking them nobody has to
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take me I don't need to go to that I
272
00:15:21,930 --> 00:15:24,839
mean it's it's not a big deal not a big
273
00:15:24,839 --> 00:15:27,690
deal I've always dreamed of winning a
274
00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:28,710
golden key award
275
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:31,860
well Kenny if you ever write a poem as
276
00:15:31,860 --> 00:15:35,470
good as Larry's maybe one day you will
277
00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:41,949
yeah maybe one day I'm shocked that my
278
00:15:41,949 --> 00:15:44,019
supposed best friend in the world would
279
00:15:44,019 --> 00:15:45,730
take credit for something he didn't do
280
00:15:45,730 --> 00:15:47,910
Shh
281
00:15:47,910 --> 00:15:51,699
what space get punished want the class
282
00:15:51,699 --> 00:15:53,680
look like an idiot and you could get in
283
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:54,629
trouble too
284
00:15:54,629 --> 00:15:59,860
not if you say you stole it from me are
285
00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:01,660
you crazy I'm not gonna say that my
286
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:03,519
parents will throw me out of the house
287
00:16:03,519 --> 00:16:05,439
and I'll end up living in a refrigerator
288
00:16:05,439 --> 00:16:07,120
box down by the river and my new secret
289
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,649
desire would be to find a half slice of
290
00:16:08,649 --> 00:16:11,560
pizza in the garbage colorful story
291
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:17,319
Larry could you steal it from look my
292
00:16:17,319 --> 00:16:18,819
whole life I've dreamed of two things
293
00:16:18,819 --> 00:16:25,110
one is going to Albany what's the other
294
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:42,420
having sex with Jessica Simpson our
295
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:45,420
friendship or the poem what's it gonna
296
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:47,630
be
297
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:54,750
hey Kenny how you doing good so how did
298
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:56,010
it go the other day when you told your
299
00:16:56,010 --> 00:16:58,410
dad the poem was really mine good one
300
00:16:58,410 --> 00:17:00,240
okay he took it pretty well
301
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,660
really then how do you explain this
302
00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:05,790
it's the article from yesterday school
303
00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:07,949
paper about you and your poem which
304
00:17:07,949 --> 00:17:11,630
apparently came to you in a dream
305
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:14,069
look I'm sorry Kenny
306
00:17:14,069 --> 00:17:19,020
I tried but I couldn't do it and I know
307
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:22,050
this sounds lame but I didn't want to
308
00:17:22,050 --> 00:17:24,630
disappoint my dad he's really proud of
309
00:17:24,630 --> 00:17:26,940
me come on Larry
310
00:17:26,940 --> 00:17:29,520
it's has nothing to do with your dad you
311
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,410
just want the glory of going to Albany
312
00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:33,120
and you don't care who you step on to
313
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:39,990
get there dad get out so we would be
314
00:17:39,990 --> 00:17:42,180
getting undressed if dad would just get
315
00:17:42,180 --> 00:17:43,260
out of there
316
00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:47,280
yeah hurry get out of there
317
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:51,230
Oh dad what Jordie put on her nightie oh
318
00:17:51,230 --> 00:17:55,020
yeah what a Jody sleeps in the nude the
319
00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:57,540
nude in my bed
320
00:17:57,540 --> 00:18:03,690
oh don't worry as soon as Jody gets
321
00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:05,400
naked you'll get your turn at the
322
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,140
telescope hi better
323
00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:32,460
we're dead oh yeah oh hey Jeff's a fan
324
00:18:32,460 --> 00:18:36,110
he thinks he's so hot just because he is
325
00:18:36,110 --> 00:18:39,870
why do I always go for jerks because
326
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,640
you're incredibly shallow and you only
327
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:46,410
care what somebody looks like why am I
328
00:18:46,410 --> 00:18:48,090
having so many guy problems is it
329
00:18:48,090 --> 00:18:49,140
something that I'm doing or something
330
00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:52,260
that I'm not doing I've heard rumors of
331
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:56,160
both don't you have something pathetic
332
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,080
you need to finish like a puzzle or
333
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:03,540
puberty come on Kenny let's go finish
334
00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:07,850
our puzzle let me grab my stuff boys
335
00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:17,820
boys ah boys why can't I just find one
336
00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:21,150
good one well if you want my opinion I
337
00:19:21,150 --> 00:19:24,780
don't I was just gonna say that maybe
338
00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:26,790
they're also intimidated by your beauty
339
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,800
and confidence act like jerks because
340
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:36,780
they feel undeserving sit Oh you can't
341
00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:38,340
worry about what other people say about
342
00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:41,220
you easy for you to say everyone thinks
343
00:19:41,220 --> 00:19:42,210
you're a goddess
344
00:19:42,210 --> 00:19:47,610
true see the secret to life is to dance
345
00:19:47,610 --> 00:19:49,980
like nobody's watching that's what
346
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,630
started people making fun of me in the
347
00:19:51,630 --> 00:19:55,380
first place all right what the hell is
348
00:19:55,380 --> 00:19:57,120
going on here what are you doing talking
349
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:00,240
to Hilary we don't talk to Hilary we
350
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:04,350
talked about Hilary that's funny
351
00:20:04,350 --> 00:20:06,840
Larry because nobody talks about you
352
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:12,030
nobody Kenny I was just coming over to
353
00:20:12,030 --> 00:20:14,220
see if you wanted to go miniature
354
00:20:14,220 --> 00:20:16,680
golfing on Saturday they finally fixed
355
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,570
that retracting drawbridge on the castle
356
00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:22,279
I guess our letters did not go unnoticed
357
00:20:22,279 --> 00:20:24,320
sorry but I already made plans with
358
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:28,899
Hillary we're getting spray-on tans I
359
00:20:28,899 --> 00:20:31,100
really appreciate how you let me go on
360
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:33,919
about all the boys I've dated no problem
361
00:20:33,919 --> 00:20:37,029
I really didn't mind hearing about them
362
00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:40,279
yeah that's what's so cool about you you
363
00:20:40,279 --> 00:20:42,559
actually take an interest in my life
364
00:20:42,559 --> 00:20:47,559
almost as much as I do
365
00:20:54,669 --> 00:20:57,590
well I guess this is sort of that
366
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,940
awkward four moment
367
00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:02,110
before what
368
00:21:12,570 --> 00:21:16,690
what's wrong nothing I guess this is
369
00:21:16,690 --> 00:21:18,610
just one of those awkward after moments
370
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:22,629
I don't understand do you not find me
371
00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:25,870
attractive of course but Larry's my best
372
00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:31,149
friend and you're I mean I think of me
373
00:21:31,149 --> 00:21:35,529
more like a sister yes yes that's it
374
00:21:35,529 --> 00:21:38,259
exactly thank you
375
00:21:38,259 --> 00:21:43,840
I get it I totally understand good
376
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,639
except the Larry part why do you hang
377
00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:47,529
out with him anyways he's a great guy
378
00:21:47,529 --> 00:21:50,710
he's smart and funny and creative makes
379
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:55,419
all those voices and characters what's
380
00:21:55,419 --> 00:21:56,230
so funny
381
00:21:56,230 --> 00:21:58,779
nothing I'm just thinking about when he
382
00:21:58,779 --> 00:22:00,399
used to do little Lord smelly pants
383
00:22:00,399 --> 00:22:03,340
mm-hmm he was pretty funny
384
00:22:03,340 --> 00:22:06,070
he still is how come you don't hang out
385
00:22:06,070 --> 00:22:07,029
with him anymore
386
00:22:07,029 --> 00:22:08,409
just because you're brother and sister
387
00:22:08,409 --> 00:22:10,169
doesn't mean you can't also be friends
388
00:22:10,169 --> 00:22:14,169
okay Kenny if you're not gonna be my
389
00:22:14,169 --> 00:22:16,179
nice sensitive boyfriend frankly you can
390
00:22:16,179 --> 00:22:24,309
go home now oh hey hey how's the UH
391
00:22:24,309 --> 00:22:26,580
how's the campaign going great
392
00:22:26,580 --> 00:22:29,110
Larry's a born winner he's got a great
393
00:22:29,110 --> 00:22:31,240
platform he's an effective communicator
394
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:37,509
and he's got dimples for miles well with
395
00:22:37,509 --> 00:22:39,159
any luck we're looking at the future
396
00:22:39,159 --> 00:22:44,470
president and his first lady make the
397
00:22:44,470 --> 00:22:45,279
right move
398
00:22:45,279 --> 00:22:48,580
vote for Larry don't get rooked I'm your
399
00:22:48,580 --> 00:22:50,950
knight in shining armor though don't you
400
00:22:50,950 --> 00:22:52,570
guys think you're a lean little too hard
401
00:22:52,570 --> 00:22:54,909
on the chest references how do you
402
00:22:54,909 --> 00:22:58,210
figure well in order to be president you
403
00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,830
need to appeal to everyone you know not
404
00:22:59,830 --> 00:23:01,720
just the chest geeks you know he got
405
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,850
appeal to the jocks the skanks the
406
00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:07,659
burnouts the skanky burnouts the jockey
407
00:23:07,659 --> 00:23:09,280
skanks
408
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:14,080
you know the normal kids yeah I'm not
409
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,840
running for class president I'm running
410
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:22,420
for president of the Chess Club guys
411
00:23:22,420 --> 00:23:25,030
how's the election going you think you
412
00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:26,080
got any chance of winning
413
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,150
it'd be hard not to I'm running on a
414
00:23:28,150 --> 00:23:34,570
post if I if you're running on a pose
415
00:23:34,570 --> 00:23:36,750
what are you going through all this for
416
00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:39,040
well how often do you get to work with
417
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:44,590
glitter I'll be right back I gotta go
418
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:50,800
after rainbow confetti what are you
419
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,290
doing I'm walking like a Night Moves on
420
00:23:53,290 --> 00:23:55,330
a chessboard Kenny thought I should do
421
00:23:55,330 --> 00:23:56,770
this once I win the election you know to
422
00:23:56,770 --> 00:24:00,430
raise the profile the Chess Club fuss
423
00:24:00,430 --> 00:24:06,580
it's fun so Larry's running unopposed
424
00:24:06,580 --> 00:24:09,460
huh with so many other qualified
425
00:24:09,460 --> 00:24:13,000
candidates like you for instance he
426
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,460
wanted to run so I let him I really
427
00:24:15,460 --> 00:24:16,240
appreciate it
428
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,860
you know I know it must be hard sitting
429
00:24:17,860 --> 00:24:20,080
back being the pawn or Larry's the king
430
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:21,760
especially since you're the one who
431
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,410
taught him how to play right I hadn't
432
00:24:23,410 --> 00:24:26,260
thought of that before what I've seen
433
00:24:26,260 --> 00:24:27,720
it's obvious you're a much better player
434
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:34,450
much better chip I have 168 of the last
435
00:24:34,450 --> 00:24:37,270
74 games and three the ones I lost is on
436
00:24:37,270 --> 00:24:40,900
cough syrup' anyway you know thanks uh
437
00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:42,880
for sit back and let Larry get all the
438
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,680
glory while you uh do all the work and
439
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,540
come up with all the good ideas your
440
00:24:46,540 --> 00:24:49,900
good friend Kenny really good hey Kenny
441
00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:52,750
look I think I like the bishop walk
442
00:24:52,750 --> 00:24:54,310
better maybe I should start with that
443
00:24:54,310 --> 00:24:56,770
sure why don't you make all the
444
00:24:56,770 --> 00:25:01,080
decisions it's all about YOU isn't it
445
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:04,640
the motel 6x6
446
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:12,230
I made these reservations my dad oh well
447
00:25:12,230 --> 00:25:13,790
now we know why you canceled it the last
448
00:25:13,790 --> 00:25:15,590
minute Mary and Joseph would have taken
449
00:25:15,590 --> 00:25:20,570
this room so which bed is he not going
450
00:25:20,570 --> 00:25:22,820
to sleep in whichever one he roll
451
00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:25,940
doesn't want I mean a key role come on
452
00:25:25,940 --> 00:25:27,560
this Bailey room for the three of us and
453
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:28,700
you're not gonna have any a sci-fi
454
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:36,730
buddies crash here right what's so funny
455
00:25:36,730 --> 00:25:40,600
we're all any deck those are our names
456
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,610
backwards we're using them all weekend
457
00:25:43,610 --> 00:25:47,210
oh yeah so why would he plan on calling
458
00:25:47,210 --> 00:25:53,980
me Dad because dad spelled backwards is
459
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,850
hey uh wait you know there's only two
460
00:26:01,850 --> 00:26:04,400
beds I guess two of us are gonna have to
461
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,610
share
462
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:40,260
so are we gonna work this daddy dad huh
463
00:26:40,260 --> 00:26:43,620
well what the hell this time to get oak
464
00:26:43,620 --> 00:26:47,820
Oh what are you wearing our costumes we
465
00:26:47,820 --> 00:26:49,080
don't want to look stupid when we show
466
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:53,100
up at the convention don't worry we have
467
00:26:53,100 --> 00:26:55,500
something for you to wear to me a little
468
00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:57,299
I have to wear a costume for you can't
469
00:26:57,299 --> 00:26:59,519
go dressed like that by the way
470
00:26:59,519 --> 00:27:07,019
peek-a-boo I see you what's the matter
471
00:27:07,019 --> 00:27:08,159
with you guys don't you know when
472
00:27:08,159 --> 00:27:13,260
someone's busting your slab slab that's
473
00:27:13,260 --> 00:27:22,500
balls backwards look here all the
474
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,480
original Zoltar from the syndicated TV
475
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:25,980
series is gonna be signing autographs
476
00:27:25,980 --> 00:27:30,720
who Zoltar who Zoltar what the signal is
477
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,539
wrong with you all right Kennedy Nick
478
00:27:33,539 --> 00:27:36,799
before I break your neck
479
00:27:41,220 --> 00:27:48,120
do I not be so hard on him ear off he's
480
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:51,720
a newbie yeah I'm a newbie does not know
481
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:56,490
our ways I don't know two ways but this
482
00:27:56,490 --> 00:27:58,290
is where all the fun is you go to a
483
00:27:58,290 --> 00:28:00,420
restaurant any time often do you get to
484
00:28:00,420 --> 00:28:01,880
have aliens serve you your lunch
485
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,540
apparently you've never had a burrito
486
00:28:03,540 --> 00:28:06,200
with the kwik-e-mart
487
00:28:06,980 --> 00:28:09,240
look here all I'm just as upset about
488
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,310
this as you are but try to remain calm
489
00:28:11,310 --> 00:28:13,140
remember the uber created the Delano I
490
00:28:13,140 --> 00:28:14,910
just shut up Kenny you are on my last
491
00:28:14,910 --> 00:28:24,180
nerve dumping on me haven't you ever
492
00:28:24,180 --> 00:28:25,530
kept your feelings bottled up for so
493
00:28:25,530 --> 00:28:27,300
long that eventually they just this came
494
00:28:27,300 --> 00:28:31,490
out not yet
495
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,660
Oh at least I got to say it to a month's
496
00:28:35,660 --> 00:28:37,280
of course if I say it again I'll
497
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,950
probably kill me you think I'm a funny
498
00:28:39,950 --> 00:28:42,320
lady yet I should shoot you in the funny
499
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:46,790
he had you funny fun this is hilarious
500
00:28:46,790 --> 00:28:48,560
they just replaced all the curse words
501
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,720
with funny like no one knows what they
502
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:52,640
really mean apparently the FCC things
503
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:53,990
people can't stand to hear those words
504
00:28:53,990 --> 00:28:55,880
on TV even though in real life people
505
00:28:55,880 --> 00:29:03,830
use all the time well at least the FCC
506
00:29:03,830 --> 00:29:05,090
doesn't threaten to knock your head off
507
00:29:05,090 --> 00:29:09,350
if you ever curse at them hey I just
508
00:29:09,350 --> 00:29:11,900
thought of a way to mess with my dad and
509
00:29:11,900 --> 00:29:16,120
he won't know what the fun hit him
510
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,540
hey what's going on you guys we're
511
00:29:23,540 --> 00:29:25,160
almost out of chocolate chocolate chip
512
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,200
really I got an idea why don't you run
513
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,520
out and get some but they never come
514
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:35,240
back you know what love you dad thanks
515
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,490
Larry that's always nice to hear I love
516
00:29:37,490 --> 00:29:49,790
you too hey what's going on what are you
517
00:29:49,790 --> 00:29:52,190
two doing we're just playing this really
518
00:29:52,190 --> 00:29:54,050
cool computer simulation game where you
519
00:29:54,050 --> 00:29:55,730
get interact with thousands of people in
520
00:29:55,730 --> 00:29:57,800
a virtual world you can earn virtual
521
00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,750
money and buy virtual property oh yeah I
522
00:29:59,750 --> 00:30:01,190
heard about this game I heard it so
523
00:30:01,190 --> 00:30:03,020
realistic that you guys can't get dates
524
00:30:03,020 --> 00:30:05,410
there either
525
00:30:06,809 --> 00:30:14,230
you know what love you get excuse me you
526
00:30:14,230 --> 00:30:14,830
heard me
527
00:30:14,830 --> 00:30:20,110
love you hey wait a minute you're saying
528
00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:22,570
you love me but I I don't think that's
529
00:30:22,570 --> 00:30:24,970
what you actually meant well you're 11
530
00:30:24,970 --> 00:30:27,840
genius then aren't you
531
00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:33,059
hey I know what you're doing there Brian
532
00:30:33,059 --> 00:30:35,010
I told you no more cursing at me I
533
00:30:35,010 --> 00:30:37,470
didn't curse Kenny did you hear any
534
00:30:37,470 --> 00:30:40,520
cursing no not even hear any curse word
535
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,690
all right well the next time you tell me
536
00:30:42,690 --> 00:30:44,040
you love me I'm gonna throw you out of
537
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:49,020
this house okay fine foot you Hey
538
00:30:49,020 --> 00:30:51,600
and that goes for feet too I'm not gonna
539
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,220
have you talk to me like that Larry you
540
00:30:53,220 --> 00:30:54,840
understand I'm your father and you're
541
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:56,760
gonna respect me what about the way you
542
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:58,980
talk to me yeah you're you're always
543
00:30:58,980 --> 00:31:01,830
saying Larry you're stupid you're a geek
544
00:31:01,830 --> 00:31:03,960
you're a freak show yeah well those are
545
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:07,230
terms of endearment not to me they're
546
00:31:07,230 --> 00:31:08,940
not well at least I don't curse at you
547
00:31:08,940 --> 00:31:10,650
all right if I am critical of you it's
548
00:31:10,650 --> 00:31:14,900
out of love mm-hmm he said love
549
00:31:18,110 --> 00:31:20,840
I love it that's a laugh you want me to
550
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,060
respect you well maybe I will when you
551
00:31:23,060 --> 00:31:25,610
start respecting me me I'm disrespectful
552
00:31:25,610 --> 00:31:27,950
you know don't be a [ __ ] but there yeah
553
00:31:27,950 --> 00:31:29,810
you just did it again you know forget I
554
00:31:29,810 --> 00:31:30,500
said anything
555
00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:32,390
forget it I'm just gonna make myself a
556
00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:35,450
new virtual dad one that will build me
557
00:31:35,450 --> 00:31:36,980
up and encourage me and make me feel
558
00:31:36,980 --> 00:31:39,280
like I'm someone special
559
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,480
don't worry won't really do that we
560
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:48,950
don't have enough points saved up hey
561
00:31:48,950 --> 00:31:51,380
Dad what are you doing here if you're
562
00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:52,940
here to complain about the smells from
563
00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:56,690
her mom's cooking thank you no actually
564
00:31:56,690 --> 00:31:59,270
I'm here to talk to your father but geez
565
00:31:59,270 --> 00:32:02,210
Oh what the hell is that beats me but I
566
00:32:02,210 --> 00:32:03,800
think it's the reason our people are so
567
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,380
angry
568
00:32:05,380 --> 00:32:08,180
hey I've made how are you can I talk to
569
00:32:08,180 --> 00:32:10,160
you for a second subtly what are you
570
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:11,450
boys doing inside on such a beautiful
571
00:32:11,450 --> 00:32:15,880
day so what can I do for you my friend
572
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,570
you know how you
573
00:32:17,570 --> 00:32:20,420
no offense Kenny none taken I've called
574
00:32:20,420 --> 00:32:23,600
them words myself what are we gonna do
575
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,310
about it oh I'm gonna go over there and
576
00:32:25,310 --> 00:32:26,930
I'm gonna have a little talk with Ahmed
577
00:32:26,930 --> 00:32:28,520
the liar and I'm not gonna leave until
578
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,170
he's crying like a little Arabian girl
579
00:32:30,170 --> 00:32:33,410
who's lost in the desert yes yeah
580
00:32:33,410 --> 00:32:36,380
selfish immature man I fell in love it
581
00:32:36,380 --> 00:32:38,450
don't you worry sweetie huh I'm gonna
582
00:32:38,450 --> 00:32:40,250
make him sorry he ever got on that magic
583
00:32:40,250 --> 00:32:41,750
carpet of his and came to the United
584
00:32:41,750 --> 00:32:43,720
States in the first place
585
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:47,120
don't fence Kenny actually that one's a
586
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,290
little bit harder to ignore
587
00:32:51,550 --> 00:32:54,320
come on there I was just telling your
588
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:55,790
friend's father that he's never allowed
589
00:32:55,790 --> 00:32:57,860
to speak to me but I don't have to be
590
00:32:57,860 --> 00:32:59,660
home until dinner let's go you're do
591
00:32:59,660 --> 00:33:01,100
kidding let's go inside right now
592
00:33:01,100 --> 00:33:03,350
but Dad that's not fair I said get
593
00:33:03,350 --> 00:33:06,170
inside Colleen Ozzy yeah let's go
594
00:33:06,170 --> 00:33:10,370
Laurence Andrew my middle names Alan
595
00:33:10,370 --> 00:33:21,560
whatever let's go let's go hey listen I
596
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,540
just wanted to thank you uh for for
597
00:33:23,540 --> 00:33:24,860
backing me up and support me on this
598
00:33:24,860 --> 00:33:26,330
Kenny and Achmed thing hey it really
599
00:33:26,330 --> 00:33:28,010
means a lot you know I appreciate it all
600
00:33:28,010 --> 00:33:28,400
right
601
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,150
no biggie happy to do it talk to you
602
00:33:32,150 --> 00:33:34,210
later
603
00:33:45,850 --> 00:33:50,199
can you come out of the closet right now
604
00:33:51,730 --> 00:33:56,020
Koni was that easy look nothing personal
605
00:33:56,020 --> 00:33:57,940
Kenny but I want you out of my house
606
00:33:57,940 --> 00:33:59,530
right now and they never want to see you
607
00:33:59,530 --> 00:34:01,690
here again you understand can't believe
608
00:34:01,690 --> 00:34:04,780
how leave my daddy's yours what about
609
00:34:04,780 --> 00:34:05,470
mine
610
00:34:05,470 --> 00:34:07,780
he's completely embarrassing please my
611
00:34:07,780 --> 00:34:08,800
dad won't even let you in the house
612
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:09,520
anymore
613
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,310
my dad's even worse God the way he makes
614
00:34:12,310 --> 00:34:14,020
fun of your voice behind your back it's
615
00:34:14,020 --> 00:34:18,010
just cruel yeah well you know what you
616
00:34:18,010 --> 00:34:20,139
want to talk about cruel my dad says you
617
00:34:20,139 --> 00:34:25,030
dressed like a girl yeah well your dad
618
00:34:25,030 --> 00:34:28,060
could be a real ass excuse me come on
619
00:34:28,060 --> 00:34:29,679
you said it yourself he's got a big
620
00:34:29,679 --> 00:34:34,030
stupid mouth yeah well at least my dad
621
00:34:34,030 --> 00:34:35,409
doesn't go around pulling people's
622
00:34:35,409 --> 00:34:37,359
bushes out of the ground so they can put
623
00:34:37,359 --> 00:34:39,369
in another ugly fountain just curious
624
00:34:39,369 --> 00:34:40,600
he's going with fountain flying around
625
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:44,050
does he have a shower you want to talk
626
00:34:44,050 --> 00:34:46,090
about ugly where'd you get your living
627
00:34:46,090 --> 00:34:50,399
room furniture bed bath and be hideous
628
00:35:12,730 --> 00:35:14,720
can you forgive me
629
00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:20,210
only if you forgive me okay okay
630
00:35:20,210 --> 00:35:21,559
everything's all set with the girls for
631
00:35:21,559 --> 00:35:23,329
tonight yeah I don't know if I'm up for
632
00:35:23,329 --> 00:35:25,789
going out tonight what they're two of
633
00:35:25,789 --> 00:35:28,369
the cutest girls in school you know the
634
00:35:28,369 --> 00:35:31,069
ones that will actually talk to us I'm
635
00:35:31,069 --> 00:35:34,279
not really into it maybe my dad was
636
00:35:34,279 --> 00:35:35,299
right about you
637
00:35:35,299 --> 00:35:39,559
what is that nothing nevermind no I'd
638
00:35:39,559 --> 00:35:44,990
like to know okay for some reason my dad
639
00:35:44,990 --> 00:35:54,788
thinks that maybe you're gay what me gay
640
00:35:55,809 --> 00:35:58,490
okay keep laughing just a little bit
641
00:35:58,490 --> 00:36:01,419
longer to make it believable
642
00:36:04,420 --> 00:36:08,240
yeah that should be enough me I haven't
643
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:09,770
laughed at hearts and cher announced her
644
00:36:09,770 --> 00:36:14,660
15th farewell tour yeah I know I told
645
00:36:14,660 --> 00:36:15,710
him it was crazy
646
00:36:15,710 --> 00:36:17,750
but um then how come you don't want to
647
00:36:17,750 --> 00:36:19,640
go out with the girls tonight well if
648
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,620
you must know Steph he's not really my
649
00:36:21,620 --> 00:36:22,330
type
650
00:36:22,330 --> 00:36:26,120
ELISA is with those super sweet bosoms
651
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:33,110
meow if that's all it is um IKEA Stephie
652
00:36:33,110 --> 00:36:35,840
and you can have ELISA really you'd do
653
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:36,320
that
654
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,080
yeah of course you're my best friend Wow
655
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:44,480
I'm psyched whoo I better go check and
656
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,100
make sure I still have some condoms left
657
00:36:46,100 --> 00:36:48,650
yeah why do they only put a dozen in
658
00:36:48,650 --> 00:36:53,830
each box yeah
659
00:37:03,580 --> 00:37:07,730
who do you think you are the guy who
660
00:37:07,730 --> 00:37:09,860
saved $20 on a bookshelf and has to
661
00:37:09,860 --> 00:37:12,190
spend three hours putting it together
662
00:37:12,190 --> 00:37:14,660
Larry tell me what you said about me oh
663
00:37:14,660 --> 00:37:16,490
yeah uh you're gonna have to be more
664
00:37:16,490 --> 00:37:18,320
specific Kenny I say a lot of things
665
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,420
about you
666
00:37:19,420 --> 00:37:22,640
you said I was you know gay
667
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:29,390
oh well Kenny I'm I'm sorry I uh I
668
00:37:29,390 --> 00:37:31,820
shouldn't have said that but uh
669
00:37:31,820 --> 00:37:33,740
in my defense um I did say it behind
670
00:37:33,740 --> 00:37:37,340
your back well it was a stupid thing to
671
00:37:37,340 --> 00:37:37,700
say
672
00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:40,940
yeah that's kind of my trademark but
673
00:37:40,940 --> 00:37:46,940
like I said you know I'm sorry who is
674
00:37:46,940 --> 00:37:52,250
this something else no all right so how
675
00:37:52,250 --> 00:37:58,370
do you know if you're gay you know
676
00:37:58,370 --> 00:38:02,410
hypothetically speaking how do you know
677
00:38:18,290 --> 00:38:20,370
isn't it so long she to be up in this
678
00:38:20,370 --> 00:38:22,050
conversation with anyone else you know
679
00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:24,450
like a priest around an Olympic ice
680
00:38:24,450 --> 00:38:28,530
skater I can't discuss this with anyone
681
00:38:28,530 --> 00:38:29,700
well then what are you discussing it
682
00:38:29,700 --> 00:38:31,560
with me for Kenny because you're the
683
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:35,340
only one who thinks I'm gay so how do
684
00:38:35,340 --> 00:38:38,610
you know I don't know me it's kind of
685
00:38:38,610 --> 00:38:39,930
like an instinct thing you know it's
686
00:38:39,930 --> 00:38:41,130
like ice cream you know you either like
687
00:38:41,130 --> 00:38:43,350
chocolate or vanilla you're me what
688
00:38:43,350 --> 00:38:45,390
flavor do you like I don't know which
689
00:38:45,390 --> 00:38:48,230
one's the gay flavor
690
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:58,220
so what are you saying you okay I guess
691
00:38:58,220 --> 00:39:02,560
I'm saying I'm I'm gay
692
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,680
all right good for you because you know
693
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,270
you gotta be who you are and all that
694
00:39:08,270 --> 00:39:11,500
you could be you know like in the army
695
00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:14,320
not that they're gonna let you in now oh
696
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,990
my god I actually said it yeah I said it
697
00:39:17,990 --> 00:39:20,900
nothing terrible happened in fact I feel
698
00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:23,960
better no I don't feel better I feel
699
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:28,280
great all right thank you right all
700
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,140
right all right we're good now Kenny
701
00:39:30,140 --> 00:39:34,070
we're good now so I uh I guess you want
702
00:39:34,070 --> 00:39:35,780
to go uh home and tell your parents now
703
00:39:35,780 --> 00:39:38,270
huh oh I don't know if I can do that
704
00:39:38,270 --> 00:39:40,190
oh come on think about how good you felt
705
00:39:40,190 --> 00:39:41,660
telling me now imagine how good you're
706
00:39:41,660 --> 00:39:43,160
gonna feel telling somebody who actually
707
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:46,070
gives a crap about you you're right
708
00:39:46,070 --> 00:39:48,500
thank you I'm gonna go tell him all
709
00:39:48,500 --> 00:39:52,430
right no uh well let's assume this is
710
00:39:52,430 --> 00:39:53,660
gonna be the last time you and I ever
711
00:39:53,660 --> 00:39:55,880
talk about your feelings all right maybe
712
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:57,740
even the last time you and I talked
713
00:39:57,740 --> 00:39:59,680
period feel
714
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:08,440
all right uh I can't it what's new I'm
715
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:15,880
gay that's great so uh did you talk to
716
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,500
your parents like I sensitively
717
00:40:17,500 --> 00:40:20,500
suggested yeah I did so how did it feel
718
00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:23,380
go on please share I felt great like the
719
00:40:23,380 --> 00:40:24,640
weight of the world had been lifted off
720
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:26,470
my shoulders I've never felt better in
721
00:40:26,470 --> 00:40:28,420
my entire life that's great that's great
722
00:40:28,420 --> 00:40:30,100
and what did your father say when you
723
00:40:30,100 --> 00:40:31,840
told them he said get out of my house
724
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,650
you're dead to me
725
00:40:36,870 --> 00:40:38,890
your parents are kicking you out of the
726
00:40:38,890 --> 00:40:41,440
house because you're gay yeah but in all
727
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:42,820
fairness I have to take some of the
728
00:40:42,820 --> 00:40:45,700
blame for the way they're acting oh this
729
00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:48,250
is not your fault you are who you are
730
00:40:48,250 --> 00:40:50,230
and you have nothing to be ashamed of
731
00:40:50,230 --> 00:40:55,270
yeah be a proud little gay boy no I'm
732
00:40:55,270 --> 00:40:57,040
not ashamed you know I just meant if I
733
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:58,870
hadn't put up such a butch front maybe
734
00:40:58,870 --> 00:41:02,220
they wouldn't have been so surprised
735
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:09,070
you sure had everyone fooled I'm still
736
00:41:09,070 --> 00:41:10,410
just taking it in
737
00:41:10,410 --> 00:41:12,970
I'm sure it'll be okay they just need to
738
00:41:12,970 --> 00:41:15,430
get used to the idea they'll come around
739
00:41:15,430 --> 00:41:17,650
of course they will honey of course they
740
00:41:17,650 --> 00:41:19,840
will hey Jenny
741
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:21,400
what are you doing here so early
742
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,110
Stephanie and Elissa won't be here for
743
00:41:23,110 --> 00:41:25,120
another hour don't worry you're still
744
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:28,240
getting Elissa yeah about that I'm gonna
745
00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:31,480
have to pass on tonight why um come on
746
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,190
let's give him some privacy come on I've
747
00:41:33,190 --> 00:41:36,760
been waiting four years for this what's
748
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:40,630
going on I'm gay
749
00:41:40,630 --> 00:41:44,680
excuse me I'm gay uh-huh
750
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:51,940
yeah I am NOT yeah he is aren't you
751
00:41:51,940 --> 00:41:57,580
gonna say anything uh um congratulations
752
00:41:57,580 --> 00:42:05,950
oh okay hey oh wait just a second if
753
00:42:05,950 --> 00:42:08,320
you're gay then how come I couldn't have
754
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:08,770
Alissa
755
00:42:08,770 --> 00:42:11,080
oh please you could do better than her
756
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,420
that girl is as much a blonde as I am
757
00:42:13,420 --> 00:42:15,670
and someone needs to tell miss thing she
758
00:42:15,670 --> 00:42:19,960
is not an autumn wow I have a feeling
759
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:23,040
into me really good at this game
760
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:32,210
can I get down here what's going on um
761
00:42:32,210 --> 00:42:34,940
you were talking and we just thought you
762
00:42:34,940 --> 00:42:37,280
know if you'd like to maybe you should
763
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,350
just move in with us temporarily you
764
00:42:39,350 --> 00:42:41,090
know if you want to if not you know you
765
00:42:41,090 --> 00:42:44,930
don't have to no I do thank you thank
766
00:42:44,930 --> 00:42:51,190
you get off of me
767
00:42:53,230 --> 00:43:01,400
so uh Kenny you're gay huh yeah yeah I
768
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:07,400
am dude that's cool so have you um ever
769
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:12,410
been to bed with a guy no then how do
770
00:43:12,410 --> 00:43:13,190
you know you're gay
771
00:43:13,190 --> 00:43:16,820
I just know yeah but is that really
772
00:43:16,820 --> 00:43:18,770
enough I mean I'm just saying personally
773
00:43:18,770 --> 00:43:20,119
I'd watch an episode of ER before
774
00:43:20,119 --> 00:43:21,320
committing to eight years of medical
775
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:24,920
school well have you ever been to bed
776
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:28,160
with the girl No then how do you know
777
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,700
you're straight
778
00:43:36,710 --> 00:43:42,619
hey hey you know um it's interesting
779
00:43:42,619 --> 00:43:46,910
because uh if I were gay and I'm not but
780
00:43:46,910 --> 00:43:50,450
um it's cool that you are um I probably
781
00:43:50,450 --> 00:43:51,859
would have mentioned something before
782
00:43:51,859 --> 00:43:54,950
sharing the big news with your dad but
783
00:43:54,950 --> 00:43:57,320
that's just me what do I know I'm sorry
784
00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:00,320
it just wasn't ready I guess I kind of
785
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:03,190
figured it would screw up our friendship
786
00:44:03,190 --> 00:44:05,420
well I guess that makes sense
787
00:44:05,420 --> 00:44:07,700
but you don't have to worry about it
788
00:44:07,700 --> 00:44:12,140
good anyway I'm done lying the people
789
00:44:12,140 --> 00:44:15,200
and lying to myself starting today I'm
790
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,420
gonna live my life being open and honest
791
00:44:17,420 --> 00:44:22,270
about everything that's great so um I
792
00:44:22,270 --> 00:44:26,210
was just wondering were you ever
793
00:44:26,210 --> 00:44:35,330
attracted to me absolutely not okay
794
00:44:35,330 --> 00:44:39,530
completely open and honest starting
795
00:44:39,530 --> 00:44:41,650
tomorrow
796
00:44:49,630 --> 00:44:55,130
Hey yeah who's this a friend from school
797
00:44:55,130 --> 00:44:57,560
oh no no no no I don't like the way he's
798
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:00,050
looking at you I want you out but I just
799
00:45:00,050 --> 00:45:02,890
came out not you you take a walk beat it
800
00:45:02,890 --> 00:45:06,890
Hey going on yeah I just threw out some
801
00:45:06,890 --> 00:45:08,540
horndog that was given by me and Kenny
802
00:45:08,540 --> 00:45:11,619
here the queer eyed
803
00:45:12,060 --> 00:45:16,880
Oh welcome to the family
804
00:45:18,870 --> 00:45:22,230
oh so great living here with you I know
805
00:45:22,230 --> 00:45:24,180
finally our Star Wars versus Star Trek
806
00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:26,600
debated in a slave your bedtime
807
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,920
yeah it's like a slumber party that
808
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:30,720
never ends alright alright if I catch
809
00:45:30,720 --> 00:45:32,100
you guys having a pillow fight I'm
810
00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:40,980
turning the hose on you uh Kenny you
811
00:45:40,980 --> 00:45:42,680
don't have to laugh at his stupid jokes
812
00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:45,890
no but it does make life easier
813
00:45:45,890 --> 00:45:48,240
mr. Gope would it be okay if I had one
814
00:45:48,240 --> 00:45:50,070
cookie yes Kenny you could have a cookie
815
00:45:50,070 --> 00:45:51,270
look at how many times have I told you
816
00:45:51,270 --> 00:45:52,410
you don't have to ask me if you could
817
00:45:52,410 --> 00:45:53,070
have a cookie
818
00:45:53,070 --> 00:45:54,630
you don't have to ask me if you watch TV
819
00:45:54,630 --> 00:45:56,160
and you know if they ask me for you use
820
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:56,940
the bathroom
821
00:45:56,940 --> 00:45:59,550
but if I just came out of it I'd wait 15
822
00:45:59,550 --> 00:46:05,820
minutes if I were you ha ha ha ha Kenny
823
00:46:05,820 --> 00:46:10,170
that wasn't a joke thank you for the
824
00:46:10,170 --> 00:46:12,330
cookie mr. gold and the great advice you
825
00:46:12,330 --> 00:46:16,110
guys are the best hey Kenny
826
00:46:16,110 --> 00:46:18,270
I was surprised for you it's gonna make
827
00:46:18,270 --> 00:46:20,070
you really really happy I'm already
828
00:46:20,070 --> 00:46:24,990
happy yeah yeah sure you are okay what
829
00:46:24,990 --> 00:46:25,920
do you think about your room in the
830
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:26,430
basement
831
00:46:26,430 --> 00:46:29,280
well it's a tad musty and once an hour
832
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:30,870
the water heater in the corner sounds
833
00:46:30,870 --> 00:46:34,530
like it's being violated but you know
834
00:46:34,530 --> 00:46:37,590
it's not without its charm what do you
835
00:46:37,590 --> 00:46:39,420
say we fix it up you know redecorate it
836
00:46:39,420 --> 00:46:44,190
I think you mean decorate it and no this
837
00:46:44,190 --> 00:46:45,870
family's done way too much for me
838
00:46:45,870 --> 00:46:48,120
already don't be silly I am fixing up
839
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:49,590
that room for you I'm an interior
840
00:46:49,590 --> 00:46:51,570
designer it'll be a fun little home
841
00:46:51,570 --> 00:46:53,580
project for me just give me a hot glue
842
00:46:53,580 --> 00:46:55,110
gun and some fabric and I'll make that
843
00:46:55,110 --> 00:46:56,340
water heater look like something you
844
00:46:56,340 --> 00:46:59,790
want to violate mrs. God that is just so
845
00:46:59,790 --> 00:47:03,990
nice oh please allow me Oh Thank You
846
00:47:03,990 --> 00:47:07,070
Kenny no thank you
847
00:47:07,070 --> 00:47:09,270
what the hell is with all those please
848
00:47:09,270 --> 00:47:10,140
and thank yous
849
00:47:10,140 --> 00:47:12,200
what kind of house that he grew up in
850
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:15,330
this is not good it's taken years to
851
00:47:15,330 --> 00:47:16,830
make my parents immune to my laziness
852
00:47:16,830 --> 00:47:19,560
he's gonna undo all my hard work
853
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:23,160
you thinking what I'm thinking is she
854
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:26,280
thinking what I'm thinking we needed to
855
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:30,020
talk you totally just read my mind
856
00:47:32,990 --> 00:47:36,420
so Kenny i anonymously posted this
857
00:47:36,420 --> 00:47:37,920
really why'd you put down on the Star
858
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:39,630
Trek message boards you want to help me
859
00:47:39,630 --> 00:47:40,740
ride an equally what are your response
860
00:47:40,740 --> 00:47:43,590
to myself keep it down okay we're trying
861
00:47:43,590 --> 00:47:46,310
to watch Queer Eye for the straight guy
862
00:47:46,310 --> 00:47:48,630
you mean the show you always make fun of
863
00:47:48,630 --> 00:47:49,850
me for watching
864
00:47:49,850 --> 00:47:52,890
um Arun sweatpants a Hawaiian shirt and
865
00:47:52,890 --> 00:47:54,870
a plastic visor could this guy be any
866
00:47:54,870 --> 00:47:58,260
straighter I can't even hear him talk
867
00:47:58,260 --> 00:48:02,130
over all that clashing I would love to
868
00:48:02,130 --> 00:48:04,410
go on this show yeah too bad I'm already
869
00:48:04,410 --> 00:48:08,149
so stylish and have such good taste
870
00:48:08,420 --> 00:48:10,980
Kenny you don't have to hang out with my
871
00:48:10,980 --> 00:48:13,620
dad I have a TV in my room actually you
872
00:48:13,620 --> 00:48:15,660
don't I took yours and moved it down to
873
00:48:15,660 --> 00:48:17,070
Kenny's room poor kid was down there
874
00:48:17,070 --> 00:48:20,610
we're nothing but a water heater fine
875
00:48:20,610 --> 00:48:26,940
let's go down there then Kenny no thanks
876
00:48:26,940 --> 00:48:28,590
again for everything mr. gold I'll never
877
00:48:28,590 --> 00:48:30,300
forget what you've done for me one day
878
00:48:30,300 --> 00:48:34,490
you'll be rewarded for your kindness
879
00:48:36,290 --> 00:48:39,420
whoa whoa what are you doing
880
00:48:39,420 --> 00:48:44,340
we don't empty garbage man we don't know
881
00:48:44,340 --> 00:48:48,240
we make it and we don't do the dishes
882
00:48:48,240 --> 00:48:51,570
man okay we use them and sometimes we're
883
00:48:51,570 --> 00:48:53,370
finished we put them in the hall like
884
00:48:53,370 --> 00:48:57,660
it's a hotel the point is we're not nice
885
00:48:57,660 --> 00:49:02,100
no yet Here I am feeling the love and
886
00:49:02,100 --> 00:49:04,670
protection of this family not nice
887
00:49:04,670 --> 00:49:14,040
paulie's so school Follies is next week
888
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:17,760
I know how much you're looking forward
889
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,550
to performing with your dad well
890
00:49:20,550 --> 00:49:22,140
compared to kicking me out of the house
891
00:49:22,140 --> 00:49:24,030
him not accompanying me on the zither
892
00:49:24,030 --> 00:49:25,710
while I sing a Persian folk song in
893
00:49:25,710 --> 00:49:28,320
Farsi isn't my biggest problem
894
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:32,560
but it would have been so awesome hey I
895
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:33,730
got a great idea
896
00:49:33,730 --> 00:49:35,590
why don't you ask my dad to be in the
897
00:49:35,590 --> 00:49:37,450
show with you no he wouldn't want to do
898
00:49:37,450 --> 00:49:45,340
that no he wouldn't of course he would I
899
00:49:45,340 --> 00:49:47,620
mean he can't play the zither but I'm
900
00:49:47,620 --> 00:49:49,030
sure he'd be willing to belt out a show
901
00:49:49,030 --> 00:49:51,400
tune but he's already done so much for
902
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:53,590
me that's because he's crazy about you
903
00:49:53,590 --> 00:49:55,660
in fact he'd probably be insulted if you
904
00:49:55,660 --> 00:49:57,340
didn't ask him well I wouldn't want to
905
00:49:57,340 --> 00:49:59,560
insult him I mean he's taken me a walks
906
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:02,680
on water anyway you should definitely
907
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:06,640
ask him I guess I will thanks Larry
908
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:11,770
hey what are friends for hey mr. gold
909
00:50:11,770 --> 00:50:15,130
hey Kenny Kenny what a surprise
910
00:50:15,130 --> 00:50:17,590
it's bedtime hoo I'm never too busy for
911
00:50:17,590 --> 00:50:21,070
my gay ward come on in I think you could
912
00:50:21,070 --> 00:50:23,530
squeeze a third person in here hey mr.
913
00:50:23,530 --> 00:50:24,880
Park I don't know if I mention it to you
914
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,010
but this is Kansas Dave I believe you
915
00:50:27,010 --> 00:50:30,130
have nice to meet you Kenny you too sir
916
00:50:30,130 --> 00:50:32,830
are you sure you're not too busy no I am
917
00:50:32,830 --> 00:50:34,300
busy working for this company but I'm
918
00:50:34,300 --> 00:50:36,490
never too busy for a kid in need what's
919
00:50:36,490 --> 00:50:37,720
going on what can I do for you my boy
920
00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:40,450
well next week is the school Follies and
921
00:50:40,450 --> 00:50:42,400
my father was huh the father that kicked
922
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:43,840
him into the streets like he was a dog
923
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:47,320
with a tumor so is that what was he
924
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:48,820
gonna do for you a paint scenery make
925
00:50:48,820 --> 00:50:50,530
popcorn sell tickets all salt tickets oh
926
00:50:50,530 --> 00:50:51,610
I'll sell the hell out of tickets for
927
00:50:51,610 --> 00:50:54,550
you Kenny actually is gonna perform in
928
00:50:54,550 --> 00:50:59,710
the show with me oh it's just a little
929
00:50:59,710 --> 00:51:01,540
song and dance number for the talent
930
00:51:01,540 --> 00:51:05,490
show but if you don't want to
931
00:51:09,970 --> 00:51:12,920
Tom don't be ridiculous out of course I
932
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:14,390
want oh can you anything for you
933
00:51:14,390 --> 00:51:17,090
anything for you my boy okay you fool
934
00:51:17,090 --> 00:51:19,190
the surprises I do my little homemade
935
00:51:19,190 --> 00:51:22,750
banana nut bread not now Donna
936
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,069
while I was at work I threw together
937
00:51:27,069 --> 00:51:28,630
some ideas for your room and I think
938
00:51:28,630 --> 00:51:30,880
you're gonna be very excited it's kind
939
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,579
of a retro modern thing what do you
940
00:51:33,579 --> 00:51:39,280
think hmm hmm gotta hoping for a WoW but
941
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:41,799
that's okay it's not the only idea I
942
00:51:41,799 --> 00:51:45,400
have okay this one's more industrial you
943
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:46,690
know like one of those lofts in the
944
00:51:46,690 --> 00:51:48,670
village but with extremely low ceilings
945
00:51:48,670 --> 00:51:53,940
no windows pretty great huh hmm
946
00:51:53,940 --> 00:51:56,470
again with the whoo come on Kenny you
947
00:51:56,470 --> 00:51:57,520
could just be honest
948
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:59,470
besides I'm a professional I can tell
949
00:51:59,470 --> 00:52:01,150
when someone doesn't like something how
950
00:52:01,150 --> 00:52:03,040
can you tell because when people like
951
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:04,780
something they don't make a face like
952
00:52:04,780 --> 00:52:08,589
they have a duty in their pants Wow
953
00:52:08,589 --> 00:52:12,369
you are a pro all right I'll just take
954
00:52:12,369 --> 00:52:13,349
another swing in it
955
00:52:13,349 --> 00:52:18,010
hey hey so did you have a chance to ask
956
00:52:18,010 --> 00:52:19,750
my dad about being in the show with you
957
00:52:19,750 --> 00:52:23,440
yeah I stopped by his office you stopped
958
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,859
by his office I remember the last time I
959
00:52:26,859 --> 00:52:30,910
stopped by surprise yes you got an a on
960
00:52:30,910 --> 00:52:32,799
their geometry Clary I'm working your
961
00:52:32,799 --> 00:52:36,280
turn around and get the hell out but I
962
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,109
gotta don't make me call security get
963
00:52:38,109 --> 00:52:41,070
out yeah
964
00:52:41,070 --> 00:52:44,020
so you were saying he stopped by his
965
00:52:44,020 --> 00:52:47,560
office how did it go well he's kind of
966
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:48,640
in the middle of a meeting
967
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:52,660
uh-huh go on but he dropped everything
968
00:52:52,660 --> 00:52:55,980
and said of course I'll do it come again
969
00:52:55,980 --> 00:52:58,619
he said he'd do it
970
00:52:58,619 --> 00:53:02,380
my dad said said that he would be in the
971
00:53:02,380 --> 00:53:09,270
talent show with you that's fantastic
972
00:53:15,060 --> 00:53:18,720
oh hey what's up Kenny ah
973
00:53:18,720 --> 00:53:22,440
he didn't hear all that did you no good
974
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,710
I stopped listening right after the part
975
00:53:25,710 --> 00:53:26,820
when you said he didn't want to do the
976
00:53:26,820 --> 00:53:30,270
talent show oh you know that is you know
977
00:53:30,270 --> 00:53:31,850
yeah I didn't mean that
978
00:53:31,850 --> 00:53:36,120
hey man let's okay with you of course it
979
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:38,760
is I don't want you to feel trapped it's
980
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:45,240
not that big a deal really okay you are
981
00:53:45,240 --> 00:53:47,730
going to love love love this new concept
982
00:53:47,730 --> 00:53:54,240
it's very W Hotel huh hmm Kenny have you
983
00:53:54,240 --> 00:53:55,770
ever seen one of those home makeover
984
00:53:55,770 --> 00:53:58,200
shows here's how it works I show you the
985
00:53:58,200 --> 00:53:59,970
designs you say my life has been
986
00:53:59,970 --> 00:54:01,500
transformed and you look at me like I am
987
00:54:01,500 --> 00:54:04,530
a god why is this so important to you
988
00:54:04,530 --> 00:54:07,230
because honey I want to brighten up the
989
00:54:07,230 --> 00:54:08,970
dark and confusing time you're going
990
00:54:08,970 --> 00:54:12,000
through your pain in the ass okay I'll
991
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,410
come up with something else no you don't
992
00:54:13,410 --> 00:54:14,790
have to no really it's okay
993
00:54:14,790 --> 00:54:16,710
but you've done enough honey I wanted I
994
00:54:16,710 --> 00:54:18,780
don't want you to why not I'm not gonna
995
00:54:18,780 --> 00:54:19,770
be here that long
996
00:54:19,770 --> 00:54:21,630
my parents are gonna change their mind
997
00:54:21,630 --> 00:54:29,570
they're gonna take me back aren't they
998
00:54:35,390 --> 00:54:40,020
great guys are gonna clear up for a
999
00:54:40,020 --> 00:54:43,320
happy face brush off the clouds and
1000
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:48,710
cheer up put a happy face
1001
00:54:52,340 --> 00:54:59,950
just put a happy face
1002
00:55:08,550 --> 00:55:10,960
kids are gonna remember our efforts good
1003
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:15,570
try sweetie hey was just unplugged
1004
00:55:17,530 --> 00:55:20,420
look Kenny fixed it
1005
00:55:20,420 --> 00:55:25,400
yay family movie night is saying if you
1006
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:27,080
guys hadn't taken me in off the streets
1007
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:28,460
you wouldn't have been able to have
1008
00:55:28,460 --> 00:55:30,500
movie night yeah yeah you're the best
1009
00:55:30,500 --> 00:55:34,370
Kenny Kenny um if you could take a break
1010
00:55:34,370 --> 00:55:35,960
from that gay chat room for just a
1011
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:37,280
minute I'd really like to check my email
1012
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,520
I can check it for you right now
1013
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:44,060
I didn't send you on ever since she came
1014
00:55:44,060 --> 00:55:45,140
out of the closet you've been a lot
1015
00:55:45,140 --> 00:55:48,800
[ __ ] here all right you guys get off
1016
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:50,120
the computer okay you guys are gonna
1017
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:53,450
melt the polar ice caps thank god you're
1018
00:55:53,450 --> 00:55:54,860
not on drugs I thought I was gonna have
1019
00:55:54,860 --> 00:55:56,660
to stage an intervention which would
1020
00:55:56,660 --> 00:55:58,160
have been pretty pathetic considering
1021
00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:01,820
I'm your only friend so wait if the pot
1022
00:56:01,820 --> 00:56:05,510
wasn't yours then whose was it his dad's
1023
00:56:05,510 --> 00:56:09,320
he left it in his jacket pocket lucky I
1024
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:11,090
borrowed mom's jacket once and all I
1025
00:56:11,090 --> 00:56:12,290
found was an empty bottle of
1026
00:56:12,290 --> 00:56:14,120
antidepressants and some Twinkie
1027
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:18,020
wrappers oh hey Kenny
1028
00:56:18,020 --> 00:56:21,770
um I need your expert advice sure it's
1029
00:56:21,770 --> 00:56:29,570
about your hair isn't it no why what's
1030
00:56:29,570 --> 00:56:30,200
wrong with my hair
1031
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:33,590
oh nothing it totally works for you you
1032
00:56:33,590 --> 00:56:38,120
were saying okay well how do you know if
1033
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:42,890
a guy is hitting on you I wish I knew so
1034
00:56:42,890 --> 00:56:47,990
far I'm only gay in theory what's with
1035
00:56:47,990 --> 00:56:49,850
all the primping I'm hanging out with
1036
00:56:49,850 --> 00:56:52,270
Dylan who is that your little boyfriend
1037
00:56:52,270 --> 00:56:56,510
not yet but fingers crossed and the
1038
00:56:56,510 --> 00:56:58,070
little birdies Twitter around your head
1039
00:56:58,070 --> 00:57:01,490
when he makes goo-goo eyes at you no dad
1040
00:57:01,490 --> 00:57:02,990
why do you have to embarrass Kenny like
1041
00:57:02,990 --> 00:57:04,940
that cuz and I like to treat him like I
1042
00:57:04,940 --> 00:57:06,860
would treat any of you kids this pimple
1043
00:57:06,860 --> 00:57:09,340
in between your eyebrows
1044
00:57:09,340 --> 00:57:12,620
that's him do I look okay is this shirt
1045
00:57:12,620 --> 00:57:14,630
too tight is it tight enough maybe I
1046
00:57:14,630 --> 00:57:17,840
should tension something tighter or less
1047
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:20,060
tight maybe I should just forget the
1048
00:57:20,060 --> 00:57:20,630
whole thing
1049
00:57:20,630 --> 00:57:23,150
Kenny Kenny you look great yeah come on
1050
00:57:23,150 --> 00:57:24,470
have a little confidence all right
1051
00:57:24,470 --> 00:57:28,330
haven't you ever heard of gay pride I
1052
00:57:28,990 --> 00:57:32,960
had the best time tonight with Dylan he
1053
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:35,840
spells his name with a why why because
1054
00:57:35,840 --> 00:57:47,840
he's cute good night good night Kenny so
1055
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:51,350
uh hey you're uh you're are you reading
1056
00:57:51,350 --> 00:57:55,300
a comic book huh yeah yeah well uh you
1057
00:57:55,300 --> 00:57:57,470
know how those things come wrapped in
1058
00:57:57,470 --> 00:58:02,540
plastic to protect them yeah yeah well
1059
00:58:02,540 --> 00:58:04,400
that's always a good idea in general you
1060
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:06,350
know it's good to keep things wrapped up
1061
00:58:06,350 --> 00:58:08,110
to protect them you know what I'm saying
1062
00:58:08,110 --> 00:58:10,460
please tell me this is about me leaving
1063
00:58:10,460 --> 00:58:15,230
the ham out on the counter oh my god are
1064
00:58:15,230 --> 00:58:18,260
you trying to talk to me about safe sex
1065
00:58:18,260 --> 00:58:22,070
yeah but uh yeah there's nothing to feel
1066
00:58:22,070 --> 00:58:24,230
weird about this is the most
1067
00:58:24,230 --> 00:58:28,150
uncomfortable moment of my entire life
1068
00:58:28,180 --> 00:58:31,100
okay now look I looked up some stuff
1069
00:58:31,100 --> 00:58:33,380
online and and it turns out that they're
1070
00:58:33,380 --> 00:58:37,010
safe safer and safest sex the safest sex
1071
00:58:37,010 --> 00:58:38,540
would be you calling up Dylan and saying
1072
00:58:38,540 --> 00:58:40,250
I hate you I'm moving to Russia and
1073
00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:43,700
don't ever contact me again okay I
1074
00:58:43,700 --> 00:58:46,300
understand are we done now uh
1075
00:58:46,300 --> 00:58:49,580
unfortunately not now listen to me when
1076
00:58:49,580 --> 00:58:52,160
when two guys uh you know what together
1077
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:58,070
and they decide they uh huh uh how did
1078
00:58:58,070 --> 00:58:58,760
it come to this
1079
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:00,740
how how how did I wind up in a
1080
00:59:00,740 --> 00:59:02,690
conversation about the intricacies of
1081
00:59:02,690 --> 00:59:05,500
gay sex
1082
00:59:13,630 --> 00:59:16,900
that makes sense yeah yeah and I really
1083
00:59:16,900 --> 00:59:18,250
don't think we need to talk about this
1084
00:59:18,250 --> 00:59:19,029
anymore
1085
00:59:19,029 --> 00:59:22,180
I think I got it I know you think you
1086
00:59:22,180 --> 00:59:23,440
got it come on that's not good enough
1087
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:25,420
Kenny all right this isn't like regular
1088
00:59:25,420 --> 00:59:26,920
sex where there's some girl there to say
1089
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:34,029
no to everything I mean your two guys
1090
00:59:34,029 --> 00:59:36,549
okay and let's face it I mean guys are
1091
00:59:36,549 --> 00:59:37,059
animals
1092
00:59:37,059 --> 00:59:38,680
and what happens when you get two
1093
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:40,750
animals together huh huh
1094
00:59:40,750 --> 00:59:43,420
they attack each other all right so
1095
00:59:43,420 --> 00:59:44,680
before you go out there and you get
1096
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:46,450
attacked you need to learn all the facts
1097
00:59:46,450 --> 00:59:49,420
all right now listen to me when it comes
1098
00:59:49,420 --> 00:59:53,170
to bondage and according to my research
1099
00:59:53,170 --> 01:00:01,539
it will come to bondage so were you born
1100
01:00:01,539 --> 01:00:03,069
in New York I don't want to have sex
1101
01:00:03,069 --> 01:00:07,210
with you what I'm a virgin
1102
01:00:07,210 --> 01:00:09,570
slow down will ya
1103
01:00:09,570 --> 01:00:11,880
I don't I've never been with another guy
1104
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:14,460
in a house all alone before okay Kenny
1105
01:00:14,460 --> 01:00:15,630
just relax
1106
01:00:15,630 --> 01:00:17,670
hey I'm bad at being gay I think I'm
1107
01:00:17,670 --> 01:00:20,340
allowed to be a little upset I've never
1108
01:00:20,340 --> 01:00:22,050
been in this situation either okay this
1109
01:00:22,050 --> 01:00:23,810
is all new to me too
1110
01:00:23,810 --> 01:00:26,430
really trust me
1111
01:00:26,430 --> 01:00:32,910
all of it is new to me so you don't want
1112
01:00:32,910 --> 01:00:34,590
to start having crazy sex right the
1113
01:00:34,590 --> 01:00:41,420
second um no not really
1114
01:00:41,420 --> 01:00:48,510
this a great date or what so what do you
1115
01:00:48,510 --> 01:00:50,820
feel like doing how about a movie I
1116
01:00:50,820 --> 01:00:56,660
rented funny girl and All About Eve hmm
1117
01:00:56,660 --> 01:01:00,960
those some kind of gay yeah they do
1118
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:01,830
don't they
1119
01:01:01,830 --> 01:01:05,040
I like Lord of the Rings I love Lord of
1120
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:06,810
the Rings they have the best battle
1121
01:01:06,810 --> 01:01:08,760
sequences ever filmed oh my god that's
1122
01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:10,650
exactly what Larry said I think Viggo
1123
01:01:10,650 --> 01:01:12,360
Mortensen was born to play the part of
1124
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:15,000
Aragorn Larry says that too oh yeah well
1125
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,430
just Larry say that you have the most
1126
01:01:17,430 --> 01:01:31,050
soulful eyes he's ever seen you know
1127
01:01:31,050 --> 01:01:32,850
what it's just not fair
1128
01:01:32,850 --> 01:01:34,650
you guys have rights too you know this
1129
01:01:34,650 --> 01:01:38,120
is total BS that's what this is total BS
1130
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:39,810
what's the Gay Straight Alliance
1131
01:01:39,810 --> 01:01:43,440
freaking out about now supermarket
1132
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:46,160
running out of fresca boys
1133
01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:48,319
now there's a Sadie Hawkins dance and
1134
01:01:48,319 --> 01:01:50,479
that uptight school says that Dylan and
1135
01:01:50,479 --> 01:01:52,160
Kenny can't go together since no girls
1136
01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:54,710
have asked them oh wow what is simple
1137
01:01:54,710 --> 01:01:56,059
solution here why don't you find a
1138
01:01:56,059 --> 01:01:57,799
couple of big gals with short haircuts
1139
01:01:57,799 --> 01:01:59,269
from the girls softball team who want to
1140
01:01:59,269 --> 01:02:04,239
go why not just make it a foursome
1141
01:02:04,239 --> 01:02:06,440
shouldn't have to fool them and letting
1142
01:02:06,440 --> 01:02:09,999
us go besides those girls scare me
1143
01:02:09,999 --> 01:02:12,680
banning gays from a dance and what's
1144
01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:14,089
next they won't let us participate the
1145
01:02:14,089 --> 01:02:15,920
school musical good luck putting on
1146
01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:25,009
Hello Dolly without us I agree it sucks
1147
01:02:25,009 --> 01:02:27,559
but there's nothing we can do is is so
1148
01:02:27,559 --> 01:02:29,329
typical you Larry you know you complain
1149
01:02:29,329 --> 01:02:30,979
about everything but you never do
1150
01:02:30,979 --> 01:02:32,089
anything and when are you gonna stop
1151
01:02:32,089 --> 01:02:34,640
being such a wet noodle hey for your
1152
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:38,509
information oh yes sir this is a perfect
1153
01:02:38,509 --> 01:02:40,130
opportunity for you to stick it to the
1154
01:02:40,130 --> 01:02:40,670
man
1155
01:02:40,670 --> 01:02:42,769
Kenny Dylan I would think used to would
1156
01:02:42,769 --> 01:02:45,488
be excited about that
1157
01:02:47,530 --> 01:02:50,380
hey you know it's true back in my day we
1158
01:02:50,380 --> 01:02:51,820
didn't like something we fought the
1159
01:02:51,820 --> 01:02:54,340
system and you got the right to vote
1160
01:02:54,340 --> 01:02:57,060
right
1161
01:03:00,829 --> 01:03:03,719
I'm referring to back when I was in high
1162
01:03:03,719 --> 01:03:05,939
school and the school decided that girls
1163
01:03:05,939 --> 01:03:08,489
could no longer wear tube tops so we
1164
01:03:08,489 --> 01:03:10,919
staged a walkout the entire student body
1165
01:03:10,919 --> 01:03:13,679
stood out front chanting no tube tops no
1166
01:03:13,679 --> 01:03:16,949
attendance no tube tops no attendance we
1167
01:03:16,949 --> 01:03:19,729
changed the world a little bit that day
1168
01:03:19,729 --> 01:03:22,079
let me tell you some if I was a gay teen
1169
01:03:22,079 --> 01:03:23,519
and I had a boyfriend I would fight for
1170
01:03:23,519 --> 01:03:25,439
my rights and I would win okay and I
1171
01:03:25,439 --> 01:03:27,119
would be at that dance awkwardly trying
1172
01:03:27,119 --> 01:03:30,149
to figure out who's going to lead you
1173
01:03:30,149 --> 01:03:32,459
know he's right this is an outrage it's
1174
01:03:32,459 --> 01:03:34,349
discrimination well we should protest
1175
01:03:34,349 --> 01:03:35,879
the school until they cancel the dance
1176
01:03:35,879 --> 01:03:37,889
all right so what I'm hearing is no girl
1177
01:03:37,889 --> 01:03:42,029
asked you yet not one and I'm starting
1178
01:03:42,029 --> 01:03:43,619
to think that my dance like Justin
1179
01:03:43,619 --> 01:03:45,239
Timberlake instructional DVD was just a
1180
01:03:45,239 --> 01:03:49,289
waste of money good
1181
01:03:49,289 --> 01:03:51,029
let's go organize our protest yeah
1182
01:03:51,029 --> 01:03:52,739
that's the attitude I was looking for
1183
01:03:52,739 --> 01:03:58,829
way to go you wet noodle you how was it
1184
01:03:58,829 --> 01:03:59,519
there big fella
1185
01:03:59,519 --> 01:04:01,859
not so great the school's still not
1186
01:04:01,859 --> 01:04:03,299
gonna let Dylan and I go to the dance
1187
01:04:03,299 --> 01:04:06,179
together it looks like a broad Larry's
1188
01:04:06,179 --> 01:04:08,009
dance like Justin Timberlake DVD for
1189
01:04:08,009 --> 01:04:10,399
nothing
1190
01:04:13,549 --> 01:04:16,019
she's gonna go drown my sorrows in
1191
01:04:16,019 --> 01:04:22,259
chocolate sorbet so what happened did
1192
01:04:22,259 --> 01:04:23,999
you tell my dad about social services is
1193
01:04:23,999 --> 01:04:28,079
he gonna let me come home um well um so
1194
01:04:28,079 --> 01:04:30,930
he still hates me hey hate is such an
1195
01:04:30,930 --> 01:04:31,730
ugly word
1196
01:04:31,730 --> 01:04:35,430
but yeah he hates you but on the bright
1197
01:04:35,430 --> 01:04:44,190
side we have more chocolate sorbet now
1198
01:04:44,190 --> 01:04:45,630
we're just gonna let them take Kenny
1199
01:04:45,630 --> 01:04:49,380
away Larry we've done everything we can
1200
01:04:49,380 --> 01:04:51,990
there's nothing else to do well that's
1201
01:04:51,990 --> 01:04:53,849
pathetic we're just gonna give up now
1202
01:04:53,849 --> 01:05:00,569
who's the wet noodle hey hey what's
1203
01:05:00,569 --> 01:05:02,339
going on I'm sneaking Kenny out of here
1204
01:05:02,339 --> 01:05:03,630
we're putting them in a motel until we
1205
01:05:03,630 --> 01:05:04,799
figure out what to do next with them
1206
01:05:04,799 --> 01:05:06,869
hurry up that social worker is gonna be
1207
01:05:06,869 --> 01:05:07,579
here any minute
1208
01:05:07,579 --> 01:05:11,700
Wow this is kind of exciting it's like
1209
01:05:11,700 --> 01:05:13,349
the end of The Sound of Music where they
1210
01:05:13,349 --> 01:05:14,819
sneak out of the amphitheater when no
1211
01:05:14,819 --> 01:05:17,069
one's looking and hide from the Nazis in
1212
01:05:17,069 --> 01:05:20,249
the convent Larry Larry if you start
1213
01:05:20,249 --> 01:05:21,569
singing I swear to god I'm gonna knock
1214
01:05:21,569 --> 01:05:25,109
your head right off your shoulders well
1215
01:05:25,109 --> 01:05:27,660
take care Kenny I'm sure you'll be back
1216
01:05:27,660 --> 01:05:30,749
before you know it Larry you're the best
1217
01:05:30,749 --> 01:05:35,249
friend I ever had come on you guys you
1218
01:05:35,249 --> 01:05:40,920
got to go so long farewell auf
1219
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:43,369
wiedersehen
1220
01:05:44,450 --> 01:05:56,940
bye going somewhere not anymore
1221
01:05:56,940 --> 01:06:00,329
I cannot believe you were trying to
1222
01:06:00,329 --> 01:06:02,130
sneak this boy out of here Oh what are
1223
01:06:02,130 --> 01:06:03,239
you gonna do we're gonna make a federal
1224
01:06:03,239 --> 01:06:05,789
case about this well kidnapping does
1225
01:06:05,789 --> 01:06:09,069
traditionally lead to a federal case
1226
01:06:09,069 --> 01:06:10,479
is that right you just have all the
1227
01:06:10,479 --> 01:06:12,009
answers don't you huh but not the right
1228
01:06:12,009 --> 01:06:14,169
one on how to help us yeah and what
1229
01:06:14,169 --> 01:06:15,849
about what's best for the child I mean
1230
01:06:15,849 --> 01:06:17,799
isn't that what Child Services is kind
1231
01:06:17,799 --> 01:06:19,900
of about look don't you think I'd prefer
1232
01:06:19,900 --> 01:06:22,779
to see Kenny in a happy home or at least
1233
01:06:22,779 --> 01:06:26,799
here but my hands are tied
1234
01:06:26,799 --> 01:06:34,089
Kenny it's time to go dad Dave don't
1235
01:06:34,089 --> 01:06:34,929
worry about me
1236
01:06:34,929 --> 01:06:39,869
I'll be okay thank you for everything
1237
01:06:39,869 --> 01:06:42,849
hey no no no wait stop stop take me take
1238
01:06:42,849 --> 01:06:48,849
me instead it does seem like a fair
1239
01:06:48,849 --> 01:06:53,849
trade come on Kenny let's go
1240
01:07:02,609 --> 01:07:05,109
amen if you don't open your mouth and
1241
01:07:05,109 --> 01:07:06,609
words don't start coming out of there I
1242
01:07:06,609 --> 01:07:08,259
swear to Allah I will cut out your
1243
01:07:08,259 --> 01:07:15,999
tongue and serve it for dinner I am his
1244
01:07:15,999 --> 01:07:16,419
father
1245
01:07:16,419 --> 01:07:20,489
and I'm willing to let him come home
1246
01:07:20,489 --> 01:07:26,650
really thanks dad man stop right there
1247
01:07:26,650 --> 01:07:28,659
Rock oh is that mean you're willing to
1248
01:07:28,659 --> 01:07:30,699
let him come home huh sorry but that's
1249
01:07:30,699 --> 01:07:31,359
not gonna cut it
1250
01:07:31,359 --> 01:07:35,469
Dave stop yes please stop no no no
1251
01:07:35,469 --> 01:07:37,119
you're not gonna just let him come home
1252
01:07:37,119 --> 01:07:39,159
you can accept your son for who he is
1253
01:07:39,159 --> 01:07:41,019
you're gonna give him your unconditional
1254
01:07:41,019 --> 01:07:42,609
love and you're gonna apologize to him
1255
01:07:42,609 --> 01:07:47,679
for the way you treated him or how about
1256
01:07:47,679 --> 01:07:49,719
I go home everything's extremely
1257
01:07:49,719 --> 01:07:51,819
uncomfortable for everyone eventually we
1258
01:07:51,819 --> 01:07:53,199
start to like each other a little bit
1259
01:07:53,199 --> 01:07:59,619
and from there we just kind of wing it I
1260
01:07:59,619 --> 01:08:03,729
can live with that let's go son looks
1261
01:08:03,729 --> 01:08:04,809
like you're back to being the worst
1262
01:08:04,809 --> 01:08:07,769
father in the neighborhood
1263
01:08:24,439 --> 01:08:27,630
Hey ladies tough day at the glitter
1264
01:08:27,630 --> 01:08:30,779
factory it's not funny
1265
01:08:30,779 --> 01:08:32,700
we're the victims of the senior prank a
1266
01:08:32,700 --> 01:08:34,560
bunch of them came into the cafeteria
1267
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:35,939
with super shooters filled with honey
1268
01:08:35,939 --> 01:08:37,229
and the next thing you know they're
1269
01:08:37,229 --> 01:08:39,620
covering our sticky bodies with glitter
1270
01:08:39,620 --> 01:08:42,420
it all happened so fast my head still
1271
01:08:42,420 --> 01:08:45,689
spinning oh the keep spinning can always
1272
01:08:45,689 --> 01:08:48,779
rent it out as a disco ball we can't
1273
01:08:48,779 --> 01:08:49,710
take this lying down
1274
01:08:49,710 --> 01:08:52,319
you're right we have to retaliate okay
1275
01:08:52,319 --> 01:08:53,399
I'm gonna get started on a scathing
1276
01:08:53,399 --> 01:08:54,660
letter to the editor of the school paper
1277
01:08:54,660 --> 01:08:57,000
and a thanks for nothing note to the art
1278
01:08:57,000 --> 01:09:00,229
teacher for not locking up the supports
1279
01:09:00,229 --> 01:09:03,839
that's your idea of revenge what do you
1280
01:09:03,839 --> 01:09:04,649
have a better idea
1281
01:09:04,649 --> 01:09:07,830
look not gonna lie it's uh it's gonna be
1282
01:09:07,830 --> 01:09:09,540
hard to beat a scathing letter but I
1283
01:09:09,540 --> 01:09:11,250
think I can handle it just leave it to
1284
01:09:11,250 --> 01:09:12,689
me and those seniors will be sorry they
1285
01:09:12,689 --> 01:09:15,300
ever messed with you revenge is sweet
1286
01:09:15,300 --> 01:09:19,730
especially when you're covered in honey
1287
01:09:19,790 --> 01:09:21,720
okay I've been up all night
1288
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:23,399
brainstorming I yeah I think you're both
1289
01:09:23,399 --> 01:09:24,569
gonna be very pleased
1290
01:09:24,569 --> 01:09:27,420
Wow you know this is the first time I've
1291
01:09:27,420 --> 01:09:28,950
ever been excited about having a little
1292
01:09:28,950 --> 01:09:30,089
brother since they brought you home from
1293
01:09:30,089 --> 01:09:31,680
the hospital I realized no one would pay
1294
01:09:31,680 --> 01:09:36,600
attention to me ever again so what do
1295
01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:40,770
you got okay I have 20 ideas here all of
1296
01:09:40,770 --> 01:09:44,130
which are world-class okay well I don't
1297
01:09:44,130 --> 01:09:46,890
want anything mean-spirited okay I have
1298
01:09:46,890 --> 01:09:49,830
one idea it's guaranteed to work it's
1299
01:09:49,830 --> 01:09:54,680
simple its elegant its rats rats
1300
01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:56,580
hundreds of them and we release them
1301
01:09:56,580 --> 01:09:58,800
just as principal Fink announces ladies
1302
01:09:58,800 --> 01:10:00,510
and gentlemen I give you the graduating
1303
01:10:00,510 --> 01:10:05,040
class of 2007 cute pomp and circumstance
1304
01:10:05,040 --> 01:10:07,980
screaming begins pandemonium ensues yeah
1305
01:10:07,980 --> 01:10:11,540
I like it Kenny no I don't like it I
1306
01:10:11,540 --> 01:10:14,870
love it
1307
01:10:15,610 --> 01:10:18,830
okay one this is it it's time at the
1308
01:10:18,830 --> 01:10:22,880
rats out ah actually the shop didn't
1309
01:10:22,880 --> 01:10:26,750
have a hundred rats in retrospect we
1310
01:10:26,750 --> 01:10:29,030
probably should have called ahead but
1311
01:10:29,030 --> 01:10:31,280
don't worry we have something just as
1312
01:10:31,280 --> 01:10:33,370
good
1313
01:10:36,370 --> 01:10:41,090
crickets you guys that is so lame it's
1314
01:10:41,090 --> 01:10:42,920
still gonna freak people out
1315
01:10:42,920 --> 01:10:47,390
yeah Hey look what happened that there
1316
01:10:47,390 --> 01:10:49,460
were five hundred of them in there you
1317
01:10:49,460 --> 01:10:52,700
guys lost your crickets they have to be
1318
01:10:52,700 --> 01:10:53,360
somewhere
1319
01:10:53,360 --> 01:10:55,160
twenty dollars mother cricket so just
1320
01:10:55,160 --> 01:10:57,700
disappear
1321
01:11:01,599 --> 01:11:04,480
hey hey you guys don't find these
1322
01:11:04,480 --> 01:11:07,210
crickets I'm calling an exterminator for
1323
01:11:07,210 --> 01:11:09,360
you
99045
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