All language subtitles for Superstore s06e10 Depositions.eng

- Okay, those of you
who were working

the day that Carol was
electrocuted by the robot,

you're gonna be deposed
by Carol's lawyer today.

- Now, Cloud 9's lawyer
will also be present.

He advises we answer
every question honestly

but try and downplay
their liability.

So, feel free to get creative
walking that perjury line.

- How much isCloud 9
gonna have to pay Carol?

- Oh, I heard about a guy
who got his butt sliced off

when a shelf fell.

Voop! 10 million.

- What?
- No, no--

[all murmuring]
- Dang, that's a nice payday.

- I'm sorry--a guy got
his butt sliced off,

and we didn't hear about it
in the news?

- Wait, so Carolcould get
$10 million?

- [laughing]
Okay. That makes sense.

T-the world makes sense.

- She'll be able to do that
thing where you buy a car

and you just drive it once.

Like, when you get to
where you're going,

you just toss the keys
to whoever and leave.

- No, she's the kinda person

who'd blow it all
on exotic animals,

then die broke in the bathroom
of a Red Robin.

- Carol, you can probably
just go start your shift now.

- No, I'm good.

Is this what today's
gonna be like,

everyone talking about me?

God, I'm gonna hate this!

[upbeat music]

♪

- You're looking at a boot?

You're not a boot guy.
- [huffs] I know.

Everyone knows that.

But I'm just seeing
what's out there, because...

someone's getting their
ankle monitor off today!

- Oh, my God, Mateo,
that's huge!

- I know, right?
Girl, it has sucked!

Feeling like a criminal
every time I tied my shoes...

- Ooh! Why not get yourself
some capri pants, too,

so you can show off
your ankle?

- I'd rather go back to jail.

- Excuse me.

Can you help me find
Carol Malloon?

I'm her attorney,
Hannah Connelly?

- Well, hear this.

Carol's gonna do everything
she can to pin this on me,

but if she wants to
make this ugly,

I will drag it
all the way to hell!

- I think she's in floral.

On your left, just ahead
towards the register.

- Okay. Thank you.

Mateo, softly: Okay.

- Oh, hey, Glenn.

You're, uh, dripping something
green there, buddy.

- Ah! This is the third
stress ball

I blasted through today.

- Wow. Maybe today should be
more of a Koosh day for you.

- It's just these depositions.

You know,
lawyers make me anxious.

- It's nothing to worry about.
You know, maybe it would help

if we practiced a little bit.

- Oh, yeah, good idea. Okay.

So you be me,
and I'll be the lawyer.

- Uh, maybe you should be you.

- 'Cause I'll be me
in the deposition.

Okay. Good catch.

- Hey, Dina, did ya see?
Lazer Maze finally reopened.

- Yeah! Took 'em long enough.

What, one black light
falls on a kid,

and you have to close
for a year?

- Well, COVID...

- Oh, right. Well, listen.
We should go later tonight.

- Yeah. And there's that
Mediterranean place next door.

We could fuel up first.

I mean, if that's...cool.

- Why wouldn't it be?

Because of my views
on the Greeks?

- What? No.
I'm just trying to be good

about the boundaries
that you and Brian set up.

- Oh, no, it's not like a date.

As long as whatever we're doing
ends in sex,

it's like the laser tag
is just extended foreplay.

- Right. Foreplay
surrounded by teenagers

and cardboard aliens.

I been turned on by worse.
- Me, too.

- Okay, state your name
for the record.

- Glenn Sturgis.

Why are you writing that down?
That's the right answer.

- No, no, this is what lawyers
do--they might take notes.

But you can't let that
distract you.

- Oh, mind games!

Oh, okay, well,

sure, yeah--game on.

Check and mate.
Ohh...

- Sure. Also, they might
let a quiet moment hang

after you've answered
a question.

Silences are uncomfortable,

and so people
will try to fill them

and then end up saying more.

- Oh, okay. Got it.
No problem.

Ha. What is this?

Are you doing it now?

Are you mad at me?
Did you find out

that I accidentally hit your
car in the parking lot?

Because it was just a scratch!

You think you're so perfect,
you know?

Well, I used to have
a body like that once.

[huffs] So, you know,
so check out your future,

you fart face!

- Okay. So, some things
to work on.

[knocks twice]
- Hey, Mateo, it's Eugene.

This is what I look like
in a mask.

- Yeah, I can tell it's you.
Hi.

- I got a subpoena.

I guess 'cause the lawyers
think I'm Glenn's assistant

and wanna depose me?

- Oh, crap. Right.

- Don't worry.
I'm just gonna go in there

and explain our situation--
how, on paper, you know,

you still work in
the Vision Center

and I'm "Glenn's assistant."

- What? No.
Eugene, you can't.

Our arrangement
isn't exactly...above board.

Just...pretend
you're Glenn's assistant.

- But if I lie under oath,
they'll send me to jail.

- If you tell them the truth,
it's gonna ruin my whole life.

Please?

I'm supposed to get
my ankle monitor off today.

I might even be
a boot guy now.

- You're not a boot guy.
- People change!

Whatever.
You can't go in there.

- Well, I kinda have to
'cause of the subpoena,

but I'll them that you really
don't wanna be in trouble.

- Hey.

You gotta do what you
believe is right.

- Right.
- Why don't you stay here,

and I'll go see
if they're ready for you.

- Okay.

Eugene?
Did you lock me out?

- No! I didn't even
touch the door!

- Oh, no!

The door must be stuck!

- Hey, Dina,
Brett wants to go home

because of his sciatica?
Is that a real thing,

or is it like when
Isaac needed Friday off

for an appointment
with his Mandalorian?

- Hang on. What do you
think's going on

between Garrett and that woman?

- Uh...I don't know.
Looks like he's helping

some girl with a dead tree.

- Yeah, but it seemed like
she was laughing.

If anything, he should
be laughing at her

for that ridiculous return.

- Oh, my God.
Are you jealous?

- What? No, I'm dating Brian.

- I don't know.
You and Garrett

have been hanging out
a lot lately, so...

kinda feels like you guys
"like" like each other.

- No, we don't "like" like
each other

because we're not 12-year-olds
at archery camp.

We are adults
in a complex relationship

where I am the hinge
between a romantic primary

and a sexual secondary.

- I've never been a hinge
before.

Well, one time, the
exterminator walked in on us

and, like, kinda lingered,
but I guess that doesn't count.

- No. That's just
exterminators.

Jesus! What is this--

Ladies' Night
at Customer Service?

- On the day of the incident,

Glenn Sturgis
was floor supervisor.

- Yes, he was.

- To the best of your
knowledge,

did Mr. Sturgis make any
modifications to the robot?

- Uh, no, Glenn would never
do anything like that.

Glenn's a bit of a technophobe,
you know?

He keeps his radio dialed
to the Christmas station

all year round
'cause he's worried

he's not gonna be able
to find his way back.

- So it's your understanding

that he generally
avoided the robot.

- Oh, absolutely.

- So that would include
performing

the required maintenance
and software updates.

- Uh...I'm sorry?

- That's the responsibility
of a floor supervisor.

- Oh, uh...huh.

I...[funny voice]
I did not know that.

- A skipped or improperly
performed update

could have resulted
in the electrocution

of my client, so...

- Yeah, well, I-I mean,
I'm sure Glenn

tried to do the updates.

[shaky inhale]

Thi--this is not like
to--to, you know,

fill the silence...
or whatever.

But just to say it,
shouldn't there have been

like a technician
or something involved?

I mean, I feel like it's unfair
to expect somebody like Glenn--

- "Somebody like Glenn."

Is there a competence issue?

- No! No, no!

Glenn is--can be...

uh, competent, uh,
in--in a lot of ways.

Could--do you wanna--
do you wanna jump in here?

- This lawsuit is against
the Cloud 9 corporation.

But it sounds like
you're saying

that Mr. Sturgis,
as an individual,

is responsible for the injury.

- It's not your turn
to ask questions.

- Thank you.
- But I like that question.

So I'll ask it.
- I--objection.

O-overruled.
Yeah. Yeah.

.

- You know what? I can
take care of this for you.

Why don't you just pick out

a different size?
- Trying to get her into

something more form-fitting?
Man, Customer Service

is just your own sick
little candy store, isn't it?

- Uh...and bereavement cards
are on aisle three.

I'm sorry about your sister.

What was that? Did you really
think I was flirting with her?

- Well, it looked like there
was less blood in your face.

It had to go somewhere.
- I was being pleasant.

And even if I was flirting
with her, who cares?

We're not dating,
so I can flirt with

or date whoever I want.

- No, totally.
I mean, if that's...

what you want,
then knock yourself out.

Date a hundred women.

- And you wouldn't have
a problem with that, right?

- No! No, I'd be fine.

You'dbe the person
with the problem,

because you're so bad
with names.

Regardless, I'm fine,
you're fine.

That lady can throw it
around as much as she wants.

We're all fine!

[loudly] Anyway...

- Hey! I got you a little
congratulations gift

for getting your ankle
monitor off--

some fun socks!

- Okay, great. Just drop 'em
on the ground and walk away.

Thanks so much.
- Aw, man, fun socks?

Takes me a pic!

- Why is Eugene in your office?

- [loudly] Eugene got stuck!

Apparently,
my door got jammed.

[softly] He was gonna blab
to the lawyers

about our work arrangement.

- So you kidnapped him?

- No! You can't be kidnapped

if you don't know
you're being kidnapped.

- Oh. Okay.

So what's your plan?

- I don't have one yet!

While you were out there
buying socks,

I was busy dealing with this!

Love the socks, by the way.
So thoughtful.

- Uh, hey, uh, quick heads up.

It's--it's looking like
they're targeting Glenn

to take the fall
for Carol's lawsuit.

- Ugh.
- Yeah!

The lawyer, she's just like--

like anything you say,
she's just gonna twist

to make it sound like
Glenn's incompetent.

- What did you say
that she twisted?

- Oh, me? Uh, well,
f-for me, it was, uh,

I might've--I said something
along the lines of Glenn...

uh, being incompetent.

- Mm. Don't see
how that got twisted.

- Jonah, why would you
say that?

Glenn can't afford
to get sued.

He has a two-year-old,

and his health is, like,
sobad.

- Yeah. Yeah, got it.
Yeah, no.

Stomach cramps
on full blast already.

Oh, hey, there's Carol,
everybody.

- Hey, Carol, can you
talk to your lawyer?

Jonah screwed up royally,

and now
she's going after Glenn.

- Oh, no, I hate to hear that.

But gotta let the lawyers
do their job, right?

Now, what should I name
my boat?

I'm leaning toward
"Wet Ride,"

but I'm open
to other ideas.

- Look, all you guys
have to do is go in there

and make Glenn sound like
he's, you know,

good at his job...
which, he is!

- And when the system
went down,

Glenn put in everybody's
hours for the previous week

from memory.

- Hmm.
- And why did the system

go down?
- Because somebody

spilled juice
on the clock-in machine.

- Oh, was there a...
child in the back area?

- No. It was an adult that was
running away with juice

'cause they weren't
supposed to be drinking it.

- And this adult was...

- Bad at running with juice.

- Would you say
that Glenn Sturgis

is a competent manager?

- Is this off the record, or...

- This is all under oath.
- Under--great.

Oh, boy. Okay...

Glenn is...
what is Glenn?

Glenn i--you know, ha!

He is--it's--the thing...

the thing is, about him...

- Glenn and I, we're top dogs
in this doghouse.

Why? Competence.

Jonah's...the most competent.

Then Dina, obviously.

Preeti is probably
up there too.

Uh...

Oh, Mateo.
Jeez. Okay.

- Glenn can...
handle phone calls,

uh, keep things in binders...

Oh! He wears clothes.
Uh...

honestly, when you add it up,
he can do, like,

probably hundreds of things.

[percussive music]

♪

- Uh, I said...Garrett yet?
Did I mention Garrett?

So there's gonna be
Jonah, Dina, Garrett,

Preeti, me--
depending on the week...

- Glenn Sturgis is--

[sustained throat sound]
Mm...

Could you repeat the question?

- He has a weird voice.

Like...[hoarsely, shrilly]
"Okay, everybody..."

- So, Eugene,
you're Glenn's assistant.

- Eugene O'Malley
is Glenn's assistant, yes.

- Oh, well,
you can just say "I."

- Eugene O'Malley just thinks
a little differently.

- Have you met Alan?

Oh, my God,
I forgot about Alan!

Okay, do you have
a whiteboard?

- This isn't working.
Carol's lawyer is relentless.

W-we can't let them
pin it all on Glenn.

- Pin what on me?

Not something, I hope.

[quiet music]

.

- Why is this happening
to me?

Why do people think
that I'm at fault

for Carol's electrocution?
- Uh, well, so, uh,

when I was trying to
defend you,

uh, we were talking about
the robot malfunction,

and I may have suggested
that youwere...

a little less than
100% competent.

- You said that?

- [softly] Yeah...

- You don't think
I'm competent?

- No, Glenn, that's--

it came out wrong--
- No, no.

I'm--I'm happy to find out
what you really think of me.

But I may have to take your
picture out of my wallet.

- Glenn, come on.
What picture is this again?

- One, two...

[thud]
Ooh!

- Oh, no! I can't believe
that didn't work.

- Looks like I'm really
stuck, you guys.

I think I may have to
reschedule my deposition.

- Oh, hey, I just spoke
with Carol's lawyer,

and she said Eugene
could do his deposition

through the door,
if you wanted.

- What?
- She gave me the questions

to ask and everything.

He could do his deposition
now with us

and be done with it.

- Well, i-it's a little
unorthodox,

but I'll allow it.

- Uh, so, the first
question is...

Where were you born?
- Where was I born?

- Yeah, I know.

It seems like it has nothing
to do with Carol's lawsuit.

But that's the first question.

- Well, it's a pretty
crazy story, uh...

I was born in a hospital
in Jefferson City, Missouri.

White mom, white dad.

- Hey, Dina, a lot of people
have questions

about this email you sent.
- Really?

- "Due to recent complaints,

"employees at Customer Service
are hereby off-limits

in regards to flirting
and/or dating."

- Which concept
are ya fuzzy on?

- Our question is
why did you send it?

- Yeah. And did Garrett

like specifically
say something about me?

'Cause we've been vibing
for a while.

- No. This is just...
standard procedure.

From corporate.
About dating in the workplace.

I think they just wanna stay
a step ahead since it's spring

and, you know, everybody's
getting horned up.

- Hmm. Damn. I really
thought we were vibing.

- Dina, this email's wack.

Come on, just admit it.
You're jealous.

I mean, it makes sense.

Garrett's like a really nice
guy and funny and cute.

- Well, he's off-limits,
Cheyenne.

I just sent the email.
- Okay.

- Sorry. It's just I--
I guess I have been

spending more time with Garrett
and, I don't know, I...

I liked it, I...

I like him.

- Aw. Well, that's great.

Oh, but, yeah,
probably confusing.

- Yeah. 'Cause there's
still Brian,

who I also like, so...

- Mmm. In tenth grade,
I was caught between Bo

and this guy Darius that
he used to freestyle rap with.

- What did you do?
- I told Bo how I felt,

and then...[laughs]
he took a poo in the backseat

of Darius's mom's
station wagon.

- Cheyenne,
I had such high hopes,

and have truly no idea
what to take from that story.

- I 'm just saying that you
should tell Garrett

how you feel because
maybe he feels the same way.

And if he's not willing

to take a crap in the backseat
of Brian's car,

then--pfft--
there's no decision to make.

- And April was kinda fun

because the ducklings
were having a tea party,

and, you know,
just imagining them

trying to drink that tea
with their beaks...

there's no way
they got all of it.

- Excuse me.
You can't be in here.

- Yeah. I am not leaving

until you hear me out.

- This is totally
inappropriate.

- What's inappropriate,
Hannah,

is youall trying to
squeeze out a big payday

from this good, kind man.

- Jonah--
- No, Glenn, I got this.

Look at your ducklings.

Sir, could you point to
the motherboard

on this robot for me?

- No, I can't.
- No, you can't.

Hannah, can you update
the sim card on the robot?

- No.
- No?!

Huh! That's interesting.

Because you all have had the
exact same amount of training

that Cloud 9 gives
its floor supervisors--

- Jonah, I did it.

- S-sorry?

- Well, not at first,

but I watched hours
of online videos

and eventually,
I figured it out.

That's what I was
just showing them.

I kept records of everything--
every update,

every new hardware install--

it's all right here
in my calendar.

I did everything
that corporate asked me to do.

So I don't know
what happened with Carol,

but it is not on me.

Anyway, if there are
no further questions,

I have been nervously
holding my pee for six hours,

so I really need to get to
a men's room.

Oh, and Jonah,

I don't think I'll be needing
your help with that either.

- Glenn, you--

I-I'm not going to help--

It's--it's--

Good day.

.

[lightly edgy music]

- Jonah.

- Glenn, hey, look, I--
I'm sorry.

I should never have implied
that you were incompetent.

You've been doing this
for a long time, and...

and I should have
respected that.

- Wow. Silence really works.

I just said "Jonah,"
and you completely unloaded.

- No, but Glenn, I-I mean it.

I-I should have known
that of course

you followed all the protocols
and maintenance.

- Mm.
- I trust you.

- Aw.

Prove it.

- What?

- If you trust me, then
you should have no problem

sticking your hand
inside that robot.

- Uh, okay, yeah.
Yeah!

I will do that,

because I trust
that you made it safe.

- Mm-hmm.
- Carol only got hurt

because she used
a screwdriver, right?

So, uh, yeah, I will do that

and--and--and let you know
how it goes.

- Right now's good.

Yeah. Yeah! Great.

Yeah.

Yeah. This feels good.
This is--

this feels--aah, [bleep]!
- Oh!

I am so--
- Aah!

- That should not have
happened!

- [bleep]!
- What is wrong with this--

Aah! God! Fudge!

- Hey, uh, maybe we should
talk about some things.

- Oh, yeah, I'll start.
Why did I hear

from multiple people
that I used to date

that you emailed them and said
that we couldn't talk anymore?

- Yeah, here's the thing.
Um...

our situation has gotten
a little complicated--

- Okay, well, I'll make it
less complicated--I'm done.

- What?
- Look,

I knew this thing
was gonna be fun and weird,

but I was really hoping
that fun would win.

Turns out,
it's a blowout for weird.

- Fine with me.

I'm with Brian, so...

Uh, I'm still gonna go
to laser tag tonight,

so if you go, maybe we should
do different slots, whatever.

- Okay.
They left the break room.

The Cloud 9 lawyer said it was
"feeling like a wings night,"

so I think he's leaving.

- Eugene?
Sandra and I are gonna try

one more thing, okay?

[both groaning, grunting]
- I think we're getting close!

- Pull harder, Sandra!

- Okay!

[escalating groans]

- Ah!
- Ah! Whoa!

Sandra: Did you...
redecorate?

- Yep. I felt so bad keeping
Mateo from his work.

I'm no gay guy,
but I hope you like it.

- Thanks, Eugene.

- See ya.

- Wow!

Hey.

Don't feel guilty.

You're getting your
ankle monitor off!

- [sighs]
- And all Eugene knows

is that the door was stuck
and he got to

redecorate an office.
- Right. You're right.

[laughs] And I mean,
he was barely kidnapped.

We didn't ask for a ransom or
do anything to his nipples.

- I don't know--I think you're
gonna need more than sanitizer.

- Big deposition fan, huh?

- I...sorry about all that.

- Naw, it was fun.

It was kind of like
being in a haunted house.

I kept waiting for you to
pop out from somewhere else.

[both laugh]

- Look, I was just trying
to protect Glenn.

- From the big, mean lawyer
trying to get her payday.

Look, I get it.
I get it.

But you should know
I'm not some

sleazy ambulance chaser
with her face on every bus.

- I never--
- I mean, my face is on one bus

but I had to do it--
that's the industry.

I was just doing my job.
- No, I know.

And I was just...
embarrassing myself.

- Big time!
- Yeah.

- [laughs] I-I thought it was
kind of sweet, actually.

- Hannah!

Let's go get margs, girl!
- Oh, yeah!

- You're buying!

- Oh, my God, she is the worst.

- [chuckles]
- You didn't hear me say that.

- Oh, no, of course not.

Hey, uh, Hannah, um,

let me know if you have
any other...

depositions I can crash.

- Oh, yeah.

I'll see what I can do,
Mr. Simms.

[light music]

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