Original subtitles

- Just so you know, I take no joy in beating you.

- That's very generous.

- That's just how I roll, you know, I'm a nice guy.

Boom! You're dead!

Whoo! In your face.

♪ Everybody sing you suck ♪

♪ You suck ♪

♪ You suck ♪

Seriously? Nothing?

Man, it's no fun being a sore winner with you.

- Would you excuse me a moment?

[light music]

♪ ♪

Son of a [bleep]!

[bleep] dumb [bleep].

Diego is a big stupid [bleep]

with a big stupid butt!

[bleep], [bleep]!

♪ ♪

[sighs] Now, where were we?

I see you've renamed my avatar Loser Numero Uno?

Very original.

Would you excuse me a moment?

♪ ♪

- Why can't you lose like a normal person?

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Hey hey ♪

- ♪ Every time I ♪ - ♪ Hey hey ♪

♪ Turn around ♪

- ♪ Hey hey hey hey ♪

- Do you believe in aliens? - Uh-huh.

- What do they do with

all the floor hair at barbershops?

- Eh, don't know.

- Is cereal a soup?

- Izzy, those are really great questions,

but I have so much work to do.

- But I'm bored, and I can't go in my room

'cause Hannah's friends are over

and all they ever talk about is "vibes."

So basic.

- What about your friend Maya from upstairs?

- Her mom thinks kale is a snack.

Can't you take a break?

- I'd love to hang out with you,

but I've got to get these photos in today.

Diego, why don't you take Izzy to the tree house to play?

- Are you asking me or telling me?

- Both.

- Well, then, come on, Izzy, I have no choice in the matter.

- I know exactly what we can do...

Tea party!

- Oh, boy!

♪ ♪

This isn't even tea.

- It's not about the tea.

It's about the accents,

the drama, and the hats.

Now, do you wanna be Sir Jingles or Lady Feather Hat?

♪ ♪

Well, Lady Feather Hat,

Sir Nigel told Lady Booty that you would make a fine king,

which is why I poisoned your tea.

- What?

- [sighs] Part of the drama. Go with it.

- Ah, but I switched cups when you weren't looking.

So it is you who has the poisoned tea.

- [gasps] How dare you?

[dramatic groans and grunts]

[gags, coughs]

[inhales, coughs]

- [bleep], [bleep],

[bleep].

Chicken [bleep] butt.

[bleep] fat jerk.

[bleep] [mutters].

[weakly] Hi.

What are you doing?

- What are you doing?

- This is my safe space for cursing.

Let's never speak of this again.

- Fancy a nice cuppa?

- No, thanks.

- Too bad, I'd hate for

your mum to hear about your foul mouthery.

- I'd love a spot of tea.

- Cheerio!

Let me get you a hat.

What's this?

- Our initials.

- Mom and aunt Cherie's are the oldest, then Dad's.

We added ours once we were allowed to use knives.

- Never been anywhere long enough to vandalize it.

Aah! - Holy [bleep]!

- Help me!

It's not working, I'm stuck.

- I'll dash off and get mum!

- Why are you pretending to jump on a horse?

Just go.

- Izzy, don't panic.

Diego will catch you if you fall through.

- If I what?

- I'm supposed to what?

- You've seen him play baseball, right?

- It's okay, I've got you. [grunts]

You okay?

- Yeah, but this tea party is way too dramatic.

- Looks like some of the wood is rotted.

It's not safe to play up here right now.

- I guess I'll have to find another place to...

Uh, do my Buddhist chants.

- This place needs some serious repairs.

Gotta say, she's held up pretty well

for being built by a bunch of seven-year-olds.

We should get down.

- I felt like I was getting judgey vibes

from Mr. Cortez during debate.

- Pretty sure it's his adult braces.

- Hey, guys. I'm here to pick you up.

Are you ready to vamos?

- Thanks, Dad, just a few more minutes?

- Yeah, sure. I'll sit...

[groans]

At that table right over here.

- Honestly, Hannah, your debate was fire.

- Oh, did you have a big debate today?

- I'm kinda just trying to

talk to Bri and Madison right now.

- Sorry. Lame dad right here, shutting up.

- Let's take a selfie.

- Oh, my God, I have spinach in my teeth!

Why didn't you guys tell me?

- We wanted to, but it was really disgusting,

and didn't wanna make you feel bad.

- Wait.

Did I have this in my teeth during debate?

- Maybe...

- I would've rather you guys told me right away,

even if it was embarrassing.

- You're right.

Real friends should always be honest with each other.

- [coughing] Bad idea!

- Let's make an honesty pact.

- Yeah. - Great idea.

- All right, let me just jump in here.

Sometimes total honesty is not the best idea.

Some things call for situational honesty.

- What's that?

- Where you don't tell the whole truth.

- Okay, Boomer. - Hey, I'm not a Boomer.

- Then what are you?

You're way too old to be a millennial.

- [huffs] Gen X.

The independent ones.

Kind of the lone wolf. We're cool!

- Okay, well, Gen Zers develop emotional maturity

earlier than you guys did, so I'm pretty sure

we can handle an honesty pact.

Let's do it. - Okay.

- From this moment on,

we promise to be 100% honest

with each other, no matter what.

- No matter what. - No matter what.

- Okay, okay, all I'm saying is the one time I was honest

with not liking Jeff Tweedy's shirt before a show,

all hell broke loose.

I could have been in Wilco.

- What's Wilco?

- I'm gonna go wait in the car.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Hannah. How was school?

How was your day? Mmm, brain freeze.

- Oh, this was on the door.

- Oh, my God.

The city's tearing down the tree house.

They're saying it's dangerous and uninhabitable.

What's that?

- Mom, Izzy fell through the floor.

- And she was having the time of her life when it happened.

- Look, it had a good run,

but maybe it's time to let it go.

- Let it go?

The tree house is basically a family member.

I was Izzy's age when we built it.

She hasn't even had a chance to enjoy it.

- So what are you gonna do?

- I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

First, I'm gonna call Cherie

and then I'm gonna finish this pint.

Hey, Cherie, I have a super fun idea for a girls' day.

- You know what's a fun girls' day?

A booze cruise.

- Thanks for doing construction work with me all day.

- I expect to be paid time and a half.

- Oh, would gummy bears work?

- Ooh-hoo gimme!

I haven't had candy in so long

because Lauren is the sugar police,

and don't try arguing with an attorney,

'cause you won't win.

She's lucky she's cute.

- Remember when we first built this?

Everyone was here, Henry,

your grandma, Margo, Allen,

even our teacher Mike.

- I remember you tricking us into building it,

but it was worth it.

- Building the tree house was the first time

I actually felt like I lived here.

- We grew up in it. - So did my kids.

That's what I want for Izzy.

I remember we were right here

when Mike and I decided to go looking for our moms.

He found his.

- And now you found yours, sort of.

Have you called her back yet?

- I keep almost calling her,

but I can't.

It's like I go right back to being a kid.

What if I let her in and...

she abandons me all over again?

- But you've wondered about her ever since I've known you,

and you don't owe this to her.

You owe it to yourself.

You're not a little girl anymore.

You are so much stronger,

and you'll know when the time is right.

- I am so happy that I have you.

- Always.

- Chew fast. Here she comes.

- Great news. Tree house saved.

- You're amazing.

- It's no biggie.

I just filed an injunction with City Hall.

You have 30 days to repair it.

Problem solved.

But also, I'm amazing. - [laughs]

- My hero. - Aw.

What's in your mouth?

- Nothing.

♪ ♪

- Honestly, I don't like the color yellow, like, at all.

- Honestly, I never knew that about you.

- Oh, this honesty pact is going great.

- Hey, girls, check me out.

I am an Instagram baddie now.

I just posted my first makeup tutorial.

It's how to get the perfect brow.

Do you guys think people will like it?

- Oh, my, um... great aunt just texted me.

- Oh, what was that, Mikey?

Mikey?

Good one! Catch you later.

- Guys, be honest.

Is it-is it that bad?

- Yeah. - No.

- You think it's bad?

- Um, I think you might

just need to practice a little more

before you post your next video.

- I love it. Seriously.

- I was just trying to honor our pact.

- Well, honestly, I think you're being mean.

- Honestly, I panicked.

Yay, honesty pact.

- Too late, Madison!

♪ ♪

- [distantly] Testing, testing.

Son of a biscuit eater... - Do you hear that?

- Hear what?

- Is it the sound of me ruining my friend's life

over and over again in my head?

Because that's all I can hear.

- [mutters, bleep, darn, bleep]

Don't blame our [bleep]

tea...

- Dude. - What are you doing in there?

- [sighs] I need a new cursing space.

What am I supposed to do?

Swear on the streets like an animal?

- All right, party time's over.

Put on your work clothes and let's go work on the tree house.

- No way. - Ugh.

- But it's the tree house.

You guys used to love playing in there.

And Izzy is prime tree house playing age.

- Sorry, Mom. We grew out of it.

- Diego, hand me that box of Kleenex.

- You don't have to cry, Mom.

- I'm not gonna cry.

I'm gonna throw it at you.

- I'll help you with the tree house.

- Oh, Izzy, I knew you'd come through.

Go get some tools.

- I'm more of an idea person.

I'll go draw up some plans.

- Well, at least one of you guys is excited about it.

- You're not gonna guilt us into this.

- Dang it!

♪ ♪

I can't believe the kids don't want to help

with the tree house, not even for Izzy's sake.

It's like all they want to do is be on their phones dancing.

- I want to warn you, you're starting to sound like

a little like an angry townie from "Footloose."

- I thought this was special to them.

- It's still special to us.

- Hey, where's the plank with our initials in it?

- Oh, don't worry. That is not going anywhere.

I guess we all have good memories here.

- Like the first time you brought me over

to introduce me to Henry, and then we snuck up there.

- Story time's over.

- I used to call it the love shack.

- Stop!

- Okay, okay, look,

it does mean a lot to me.

The first time Hannah was old enough

to realize I was going on tour, she stole my guitar

and hid up there so I wouldn't leave.

It still breaks my heart.

- Aw, that is so sweet.

[saw whirring]

You know what else is sweet?

The perfect 45-degree miter cut.

- Is it wrong that I find that attractive?

- I have the plans for the tree house remodel.

- Oh, are those pandas?

- Yes, but not real ones.

Okay. Picture this.

Over here, a karaoke machine, and right there,

a charging station, and in this corner right here,

a TikTok dance area. Whoo!

- These are really cool ideas,

but the whole point of the tree house is to be outside,

away from our screens, using our imaginations.

Don't worry, my friends and I loved it, and so will you.

- Okay. I trust you.

But think about the pandas.

- I should have lied.

Bri hasn't spoken to me since.

I was only trying to be a good friend.

I mean, what was I supposed to do?

- I don't care.

Can you please stop using me as your replacement friend?

- I'm not.

- Then stop calling me Madison.

- But she's not talking to me either.

- Testing, testing, Flaming hot [bleep].

Oh, hello.

- I can't believe you're cursing under there.

I thought you were afraid of spiders.

- What?

- You see what I have to deal with, Madison?

- Not yet.

Now!

What do you think, Izzy?

- It's really... awesome

how you made it exactly the same.

- Right?

- Yeah. Uh, it's like

a phone update where you can't tell what changed.

- I can't wait to hang out in it later.

- Not now?

- We're playing a game inside,

and I kinda wanted to finish that.

Thanks, Punky, I really like it.

- Is it just me,

or does Izzy not seem thrilled about this place?

- Ugh. I was trying to get out of the honesty game.

But, um, no, she hates it.

- She hates it? But I did it for her.

- Are you sure about that?

Okay, look, she didn't tell you because

she didn't want to hurt your feelings.

- You're right. Thanks for being honest.

- You're not mad at me?

- No. I'm a little mad at myself.

This whole time, I convinced myself

that I was rebuilding the tree house for Izzy

when really, I was doing it for me.

- Well, duh.

- Okay, you can stop being honest now.

Oh, my God, I get it.

I'm no longer the tree house.

I'm the tree.

- I was with you until the tree part.

- Henry was the foundation for me to build my dreams on.

He was my tree.

Now, I get to be the tree for Izzy.

I am the tree!

- Mm, somebody's been sniffing too many paint fumes.

- Who wants some fresh-baked cookies?

- Where are the cookies?

- There are no cookies.

We're gonna have a family meeting.

- What's going on?

- Go back. It's a trap.

- We are fixing up the tree house again.

- Ugh. - We?

- The woman is obsessed with tree houses.

- It's not for me.

This time, we're doing it the Izzy way.

- Okay. I'm in.

Izzy deserves to love it as much as we did.

And, uh, all my friends hate me right now, so I'm available.

- Yeah, we had some pretty good times up there.

The tree house is where I first played truth or dare.

Yeah, I was alone, so it was kind of boring,

but still.

- Okay, your dad and Emily took Izzy

on a hot dog tour of Chicago,

so we only have a few hours.

- I have seen that girl eat a hot dog.

We have less time than you think.

- Hey. - Bri?

- We'll just see you downstairs.

- Hey.

- Hey.

I owe you an apology.

- No, I-I should apologize to you.

I never should have said that. Your video...

- Got a lot of honest comments,

a lot harsher than yours.

Somebody said that my eyebrows looked like slugs.

- No!

Maybe baby slugs.

- Even though it hurt to hear it,

you were my only friend

that was actually honest with me.

- I never meant to hurt your feelings.

I was just trying to protect you.

- I know, and it's important that we're open with each other.

So from here on out, we will stick to the promise...

- Let's not do the honesty pact.

- Oh, thank God.

- If this is another hot dog,

I'm gonna need at least ten minutes and a bucket.

[screams] This is for me?

- This tree house is all Izzy.

- Great job on the re-remodel.

- Now I can honestly say that I fixed it up for Izzy.

I just needed to let go.

- It's everything I wanted.

Diego, we're gonna have the best tea parties up here.

- Pshh. What?

- And Daniel, I got you a special cursing pillow,

but it's not a travel pillow, so curse responsibly.

- [muffled] Testing, testing.

It's perfect.

[muffled] Chicken butt!

- So I have to confess something.

You were right.

Honesty is not always the best policy.

- So the honesty pact didn't go too well?

- Oh, it was a suckfest.

- Ye-ha-ha-ha-es!

Oh, that's just a parenting win.

- You realize your parenting win was telling me not to be honest?

- Yes, I do. Father of the Year.

- A TikTok dance area,

changing station, Karaoke machine,

no holes?

You even got me a panda.

- It's not a real one.

It's a dream come true!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I love it so much.

Thank you for fixing up the tree house for me.

- There's one more thing for you to do.

Some families have family trees.

We have a family tree house.

Would you like to add your name?

- You want me to?

- Now it's your turn to make new memories here.

- I know what I want my first one to be.

[Pharrell Williams' "Happy"] - ♪ Because I'm happy ♪

- ♪ Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪

- ♪ Because I'm happy ♪ - ♪ Clap along if you feel ♪

♪ Like happiness is the truth ♪

- ♪ Because I'm happy ♪ - ♪ Clap along ♪

♪ If you know what happiness is to you ♪

- You're not a little girl anymore.

You're a tree.

You can do this.

[line ringing]

- You've reached Susan. Leave a message.

[beep]

- Hey, Mom.

I mean, Susan.

I don't know what to call you.

Both feel weird.

I'll go with something neutral, like Jeff.

I don't know why I said that. [beep]

Sorry about that last message.

Let's just go ahead and pretend it didn't happen.

I'm talking about the message,

not the abandoning me in a parking lot thing.

[beep] [coughs]

Okay, I ruined that one. So I'm just gonna...

[beep] Uh, this isn't going well, uh...

I'm gonna hang up now. Uh, it's Punky, by the way.

- Leave a message.

[beep] - It's me again.

Anyway, Jeff,

I'm not good with this stuff.

I mean, duh.

How many messages have I left you?

Like a million?

I'm just gonna start over again.

[ling ringing]

- This mailbox is full.

- Oh, thank God.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ We're all the same ♪

♪ We belong ♪

♪ All together now ♪

♪ All together now ♪

♪ All together now ♪