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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:28,402 God bless everybody. 2 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:38,787 Apples! Help an old lady. Buy an apple. 3 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,042 Bless you, mister. 4 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:48,213 A nickel! Thank you, Mr. rockefeller! 5 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,257 You lousy cheapskate! 6 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,593 Apples! 7 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:54,887 Tallulah! 8 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,222 Tallulah, good luck tonight! 9 00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:01,018 Apples. Apple, madam? 10 00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:05,606 Buy an apple? An apple, madam? Apples! 11 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,877 Where'd you pick him up? 12 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,712 He's the new feller. 13 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:31,757 - Workin' the subway? - He didn't pay you yet? 14 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,801 I gave you $5 last month. 15 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:37,554 $5 every month, if you work Broadway, Buster. 16 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,724 Hey, that's $7. $2 of that's mine. 17 00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:48,398 Yeah, soho, a nice long letter. 18 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,943 - Did it come today? - Yeah, pass it around. 19 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:54,238 Now get going over to the casino. There's a matinee. 20 00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,367 A new joke? 21 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,547 Hi, smiley! 22 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:14,633 Hi, Annie. Been lookin' for you. Dave the dude wants to see you. 23 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,176 - Where? - At Rudy Martin's. 24 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,511 Happy days. 25 00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:20,973 Annie, I ain't paid for this month. I'm a little short. 26 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,933 Sure you are. Comes christmastime... 27 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,394 What you beg, you put in the Santa claus pots. 28 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,229 - I know, I'm a sucker. - You are. 29 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,565 - Any mail? - Yeah, over at the casino. 30 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,233 Don't forget the dude. 31 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:39,158 - Thanks, Annie. - Shut up. 32 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,680 Dude sent word he wants me. 33 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,142 On top of everything, this one's gotta show up. 34 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,686 You got 14 fifths of scotch... 35 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:52,105 Sit it down here. You got five of the bourbon... 36 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:55,150 You know, joy boy, this mornin' was the first time... 37 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,319 I've ever been to a funeral. 38 00:03:57,528 --> 00:04:01,073 - Do you believe there's a life after? - You got five of the gin... 39 00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:04,451 What are you sittin' there like a dummy? Why don't you write it down? 40 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,912 If I could write, I'd be in the Navy. 41 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:08,622 Where's the dude? 42 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,375 What is it with you? You can't wait 12 seconds? 43 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,670 You got an appointment at the beauty parlor with that mop? 44 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,255 Here, give me that. 45 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,131 I'll write, you count. 46 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,550 If I could count, I'd be in the army. 47 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,096 Why don't you laugh? That's funny. 48 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,890 If I could laugh, I wouldn't have heartburn. 49 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:42,948 All right. Here you go. 50 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:46,076 Wanna know why Rudy Martin was found in the river? There it is. 51 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,371 $50,000 worth of I-owe-thems to the gambling boys. Hello, Annie. 52 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:50,914 There's a note here. 53 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:54,459 It says, "thanks for everything. Take care of my baby queenie." 54 00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:58,338 - What's "baby queenie"? Can you tell me? - Maybe he left you a horse. 55 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,465 There's a queenie running at hialeah. 56 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,884 That's right. Powder, thanks a lot! 57 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:07,097 - That was a good job you did. - For you, dude, anytime, boy. 58 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,893 That's the biggest apple you got? I need a triple shot of luck today. 59 00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:15,105 This apple will make the birds sing for you again. 60 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:19,484 I tell you, kid, you get another sucker like my boss, you can retire altogether. 61 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,487 You know, this could only happen to a smart guy like you. 62 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:26,408 There's a man, owns the joint, gets knocked off owing you $20,000. 63 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:30,454 And on top of that, you get stuck for the funeral! Go figure that! 64 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:34,249 Fine thing you did, giving a poor soul a Christian burial. 65 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,335 Here's luck for you. 66 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:39,880 Somethin' good's gonna happen to you, somethin' real good. 67 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,007 You could break a leg, for example. 68 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:44,843 You'll give up panhandling, I'll give up bootlegging... 69 00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:47,346 And we'll run this speak together, how about that? 70 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,431 It could be a gold mine. 71 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,391 No, I'm not kiddin'. 72 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,436 - Come on, let's see your gams. - Oh, boy. 73 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,480 How about that? 74 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,732 Hello, suckers. 75 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:02,444 You old chiseling moocher, here's $5 for your apple. 76 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,029 God bless you. 77 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,532 Annie, will you tell me... 78 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:12,329 Why do I always believe that your apples bring me luck? Will you tell me? 79 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,876 Because the little people like you. 80 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:21,129 What little people? 81 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:25,050 You can't see them. They live in dreams. 82 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,806 Little people like me? 83 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,266 Why? 84 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:37,896 Because they like children, beggars, and poets. 85 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,108 That makes me a poet? 86 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,069 You wanna believe in somethin'. 87 00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,863 Right now, it's my apple. 88 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:51,076 So the little people jump in it, see? 89 00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,663 That's why this apple'll bring you luck. 90 00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:01,420 You old con dame. Go on. Here's the only thing you believe in. 91 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,547 - There you go. - God bless you. 92 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:07,592 God bless you and bring you luck straight away. 93 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,760 All right. 94 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:12,764 Wait a minute. You stay away from those gin bottles, you hear me? 95 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,517 - I never touch it. - Yeah, sure. 96 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,477 - Are you Mr. Dave the dude? - I am. 97 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,813 Don't get too close. You'll drip on my suit. 98 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:23,942 What is this, grand central? Will you close that door? There's liquor in here. 99 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:27,529 What do you want? Lookin' for a job in the chorus? The joint's closed. 100 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:30,323 - Take a walk. Try someplace else. - And lock it! 101 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:33,243 I read this in a Maryland paper this morning: 102 00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:36,496 "Rudy Martin, gangland victim, was buried today. 103 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:39,416 "His friend Dave the dude arranged for his funeral." 104 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,627 - Maryland? Old Rudy really got around. - I beg your pardon? 105 00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,629 If you've got money comin' to ya... 106 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,632 The dude is not pickin' up the tab on Rudy Martin's bills. 107 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,968 You be a nice girl. You take a walk. Bye. 108 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:52,053 Rudy Martin was my father. 109 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,560 You Rudy's kid? 110 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:01,480 You're queenie? 111 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,357 Yeah. That's what papa called me. 112 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,402 She ain't a horse! 113 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:11,531 - Why weren't you at the funeral? - I just read about it. I came as fast... 114 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:15,494 - You ain't pullin' a fast one on me? - Mr. dude, I'm here because of you. 115 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:18,538 Papa came to see me last month and he was very worried. 116 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:22,584 He said, "queenie, if anything should happen to me, here's the lease to my club. 117 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:27,130 "Give it to Dave the dude. He's a right guy and I've got to pay him back." 118 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,674 Here it is, and it's all signed and everything. 119 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,511 That's very nice, but the joint's in hock up to here. 120 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,013 The inventory won't pay for the flowers he sent. 121 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,973 The lease is worth about a quarter. 122 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:40,018 Miss Martin, papa owes me $20,000... 123 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,355 And a lot more to some guys who don't laugh so easy. 124 00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,274 - That much? - That much. 125 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,866 I've got a few dollars in the bank. 126 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:59,704 What I make at the cafeteria, I could manage $5 a week. 127 00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:03,208 - What? A cafeteria? - I'm cashier there. 128 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:07,837 The next one Mr. Porter opens, I'm going to be manager and then... 129 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,423 I could give you a little more. 130 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,758 $5. 131 00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:14,719 Joy boy, it looks like the lucky apple is workin' already. 132 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:15,887 Very big. 133 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,306 It's the best I can do. 134 00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:24,896 Goodbye, Mr. dude. Thank you for being papa's friend. 135 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,190 Yeah, I mean... 136 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:36,575 Well, that's the first broad I ever seen who wanted to do somethin' for you. 137 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,535 You know... 138 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,495 Maybe... 139 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,000 - Miss? - Hey, dude! No, come here! 140 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:49,421 At $5 a week, it's going to take you 200 years to pay your father's debt. 141 00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:50,922 It can take a 1,000 years. 142 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:54,301 - I'm going to pay my father's debts. - Take it easy. I've got an idea. 143 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:58,430 For my boss, it was the lucky apple that brought queenie into his life. 144 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,683 Go figure. He's got a thing about Annie's apples. 145 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:09,941 The dude shoots the bankroll and promotes queenie into a nightclub star. 146 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:21,494 Much to my surprise, she ain't too bad. 147 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:27,042 You know what? The club begins to make money. 148 00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:30,462 And queenie begins to pay off her papa's debts. 149 00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,255 Go figure that one. 150 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:37,969 By the second year, the club is a sensation. 151 00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,449 We're into big dough. 152 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,826 Step back, the elevator's coming up. 153 00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:06,289 We're gettin' so big, the opposition begins playing games with us. 154 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,926 The dude kisses the old apple, but I know better. 155 00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:20,303 I kiss the iron doors. 156 00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:26,184 But it was too good to last. 157 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:30,188 Suddenly, the law pulled the rug out from under us bootleggers. 158 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:35,610 - Another dollar? - Stop squawkin'. 159 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:40,490 I only raised you $1. Tonight you can afford it. This is legal. 160 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,534 The whole town's on a binge. 161 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:46,996 Baby, baby, baby baby, baby, baby 162 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:50,625 baby, baby, baby baby, baby, baby 163 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,293 - I love you - I love you 164 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,713 won't you love me, too? 165 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,390 All right, you wonderful bunch of ex-lawbreakers... 166 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:09,436 This is the last night, the last song, and the last bottle's on the house! 167 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:21,030 - Does that mean we'll be playin'? - What happened? 168 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:25,577 - You are a genius. - I know. Tell me what happened. 169 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,538 - The big man is here. - He's here? I told you so. 170 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,082 - He's waitin' for you. - I like that. Let him wait. 171 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,585 - What man? - I told you to go find Annie. Move it. 172 00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:35,837 She'll be here. I spread word with the b.B.C. 173 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,339 - The beggars broadcasting... - I said move it. 174 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,426 What are you gonna do? Are you going to wait for some apple? 175 00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:45,054 What's the matter with you? The big man don't wait easy. 176 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:48,433 He could get very nasty. He could put on them dark cheaters... 177 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,394 I am not leaving here until I get my apple. 178 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:55,231 Okay. I'll go look in a few gutters myself. 179 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:08,912 Herbie? 180 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:13,082 - Did you get it? - Don't I always? 181 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:16,419 - Classiest stationery in the house. - God bless you. 182 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,964 A blind man could read that: "Hotel marberry." 183 00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,175 Give it to me. 184 00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:26,679 - When are you expecting another letter? - The mail boat comes in tomorrow. 185 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,642 You know, I could get fired for stealing your letters. 186 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,937 You mustn't get fired. 187 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,439 Please don't get fired. 188 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:40,944 Who keeps writing you from Spain, anyway? 189 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:43,738 None of your business. 190 00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:48,451 - A heavy lover. Hey, Annie? - Yeah, king Alfonso. 191 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:52,413 But keep it quiet. The queen gets very jealous. 192 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,179 Well... 193 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,933 It's been two years I've be waitin' for one like that. 194 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,185 Come here, you. Queenie. 195 00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:19,274 Dude. 196 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,277 - What? - The doorknob's killing me. 197 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:23,444 What? 198 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,156 The doorknob? 199 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:32,078 You gorgeous stack of cupcakes, you come here. 200 00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:34,664 Come on, you started this. 201 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,208 - I was just trying to say thank you. - You were? 202 00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:40,336 That's the way to kill a man, not thank him. Come here. 203 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,047 What's this, a party? 204 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,800 - It's the fourth of July. - In December? 205 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,969 Freedom day for both of us. 206 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:51,556 - You're through selling liquor. - Now it's legal, the fun's gone. 207 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,349 - I sold the club today. - You did? 208 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,101 - Did you bring them? - Bring what? 209 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,603 Papa's ious. 210 00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,480 I brought them. 211 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,359 There you are. 212 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,404 The last of papa's debts. 213 00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:10,742 We put them in the easter fire and we burn the past. 214 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:15,330 - Now you can make it Christmas. - Happy new year. How? 215 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:18,124 By saying you really want me to marry you. 216 00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:19,584 Honey, I'll marry you. 217 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:22,045 I'll fight dempsey. I'll kiss a cop, anything. 218 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,505 Let's get started now. Two years is a long wait. 219 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:25,715 Saturday, darling. 220 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:29,344 10:00 A.M. Saturday morning, we get married. It's all set. 221 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:32,180 You're kiddin'. You mean, really married? Us? 222 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,641 The real us. No more dude, no more queenie. 223 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,809 To David and Elizabeth. 224 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:41,439 Mr. and Mrs. Conway of silver Springs, Maryland and their flock of children. 225 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:42,774 Maryland? 226 00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:47,195 You know, the house I was born in? I bought it for us a year ago. 227 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:50,698 - You keep a secret real good, queenie. - I want to be married there. 228 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,952 Married in mama's wedding dress by the preacher who married them. 229 00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:56,371 Maybe I should go out and get my violin. 230 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:03,544 It's sappy I know, but let me be sappy. I'm sick of being queenie Martin. 231 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,798 And rev. Morgan's still down there. 232 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:10,969 He's 81 years old and he's still conducting Sunday services. 233 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,138 When I located him on the phone, he cried. 234 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:19,268 Imagine! I cried, too. It was the wettest long-distance call. 235 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,480 Did you cry? I've never seen you cry. 236 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,942 When I'm happy, when I'm really happy, I'm a niagara. 237 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,489 Okay, Elizabeth. 238 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:33,449 To us. 239 00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:37,161 To the wedding in your mother's wedding dress... 240 00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:41,207 By the 81 -year-old preacher. 241 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:45,044 - Niagara's coming... - Watch it! This stuff burns holes there. 242 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:47,672 - Sorry. - That's all right. 243 00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:01,853 Annie's here. Let's go. 244 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,230 - Annie? - I'll be right out. 245 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:07,775 What do you need an apple for tonight? What more luck do we need? 246 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,820 You just gave me a wedding present, this place in Maryland. 247 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,407 I'll give you a wedding present, an all-year house on a silver platter. 248 00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:17,201 - The whole city of New York. - I don't want New York. 249 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:20,872 I want a little town in Maryland where I can play the wife and mother bit. 250 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,833 It's okay for you to shake this, you didn't want this. 251 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,252 But I'm a man that needs action. 252 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:29,130 Action? Prohibition's over, isn't it? 253 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:31,758 Hey, the man is waitin'. 254 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:33,801 All right. 255 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,387 What man? Who are you seeing tonight? 256 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:39,015 I'm makin' a meet with our future, sweetheart. 257 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,767 Mr. big himself. 258 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:44,145 - Not darcey. - You're right. Darcey. 259 00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:46,105 - No. - Why? 260 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,357 - You're not going to Chicago? - No. 261 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,819 The Mountain is comin' to the dude. I'm not going to Chicago. 262 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,446 - Darcey in New York? - Right. 263 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:57,450 - The police said they'd never let him in. - The police didn't let him in. I did. 264 00:17:57,534 --> 00:18:00,953 Please, not darcey. He's an animal. He's a murderer. 265 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:03,956 - He's public enemy number one! - It's all headlines. 266 00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:06,042 Will you move it? Let's go! 267 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:10,588 Your car's outside. We can be in Maryland by morning. The preacher'll make it legal. 268 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:13,257 If you love me, don't depend on some witch's apples. 269 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:17,095 - Let's get away. We can be real people... - Simmer down, sweetheart. 270 00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:21,557 We go to the sticks, what am I gonna do? What kind of work? What do I know? 271 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,935 You're young, you can make a name, make money... 272 00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,478 What's money? 273 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:29,482 I started at the bottom in this town, and I'm going right up to the top. 274 00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:34,362 I can outsmart those monkeys. I've been doing it ever since I left the orphanage: 275 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:39,158 Newsboy, hustler, all the way up. Why? Because I'm good and because I'm lucky. 276 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:44,372 I'm gonna be somebody and you're gonna be somebody with me. 277 00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:46,040 I'm comin'. 278 00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:48,501 - Dude? - Yes? 279 00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:51,295 If you shack up with darcey, forget the wedding. 280 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,839 Isn't she gorgeous? 281 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,217 Heads. 282 00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:01,806 - What's grabbin' her? - Nothin' serious, she wants a lot of kids. 283 00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:05,059 Kids? Boy, they're mean when they get on that kick. 284 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,604 Where you been? You playin' chase-me-Charlie? 285 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:11,440 Where were you Saturday? I couldn't be at the race. Here. 286 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,234 God bless you. 287 00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:15,987 I wasn't feeling so hot Saturday. 288 00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:18,948 - Ginned up again? - No, honest. I'm off the stuff. 289 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,659 It's about time. Doctor says your kidneys are shot. 290 00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:25,288 Pooh, my kidneys are as good as new, better. 291 00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:29,417 Do you think maybe we could postpone this discussion of Annie's kidneys? 292 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,002 Lots of luck. 293 00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:38,634 Save everybody a lot of trouble if you just bought the whole basket. 294 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:41,888 Drop the whip, jockey. I gotta buy the apple just before I need it. 295 00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:44,849 Don't ask me why! We were both bums until we found that out. 296 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:47,768 All right, let's go. Pickup point, the warehouse. 297 00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:52,607 God bless Dave the dude. 298 00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:58,404 God bless all my friends. 299 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,749 That's the boss. 300 00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:11,542 - Dude's here. Set? - Set. 301 00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:48,162 He's got his dark cheaters on, boss. 302 00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,380 You're late. 303 00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:11,811 Late for what? 304 00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:14,647 "Late for what?" 305 00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:16,941 For 48 hours, I've been knocking around... 306 00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:19,485 In this Chuck-a-luck cage all the way from Chicago. 307 00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:20,945 I'm seasick. 308 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,699 Don't any of you guys ever inhale? 309 00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:27,952 Like bein' in solitary, only it moves. 310 00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:32,748 Fine thing, some two-bit operator sends for me in his upholstered boxcar... 311 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:37,378 And first thing you know, I'm bein' hauled all over the country like a side of beef. 312 00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:42,466 - This your layout? - Yeah, I built it. 313 00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:44,969 See these walls? 314 00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:46,762 Bulletproof. 315 00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:50,599 Matter of fact, in town, it's neutral territory even when there's a war on. 316 00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:53,769 - I call it little Switzerland. - What do the cops call it? 317 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,772 If they find me in this town, you can stop the presses. 318 00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:59,817 There's 10 vans just like this haulin' real furniture around. 319 00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:01,610 As long as you're here, you're safe. 320 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:03,904 Give them a new picture. That's one's old. 321 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:07,033 Why don't you relax? Take it easy. Be my guest. 322 00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:11,078 Be your guest? Did it ever occur to you that I could also be your prisoner? 323 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,872 Ever think of that? 324 00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:16,667 Yeah, I gave it a quick think. 325 00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:21,422 Maybe you better give a long think to a guy by the name of stiff arm Sam. 326 00:22:21,798 --> 00:22:23,883 He once thought he could hold me, too. 327 00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:26,552 Stiff arm? Ain't that the guy that walks like this? 328 00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:29,138 Yeah, it was the blowtorch in the armpits. 329 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:31,807 Yeah, the blowtorch. That's my idea, the blowtorch. 330 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:33,351 It must have hurt. 331 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:39,857 It's against the law to carry firearms in New York. Isn't that right? 332 00:22:39,941 --> 00:22:42,860 That's right. Here in New York, you gotta have a permit. 333 00:22:42,944 --> 00:22:44,195 Nothin', boss. 334 00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:46,405 Yeah. I was beginning to figure. 335 00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:51,911 They tell me you've been operatin' 10 years in this town without a pinch. 336 00:22:51,995 --> 00:22:53,829 Luck, Mr. darcey, pure luck. 337 00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:57,875 Luck. I heard about the luck bit. The thing with the lucky apples. 338 00:22:58,085 --> 00:23:01,379 The wiseguys figure that's two strikes against you. 339 00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:07,843 They say you gotta buy them lucky apples off some little old lady, right? 340 00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:09,970 If something happens to the old lady... 341 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:13,474 Could be like samson gettin' his first haircut, yeah. 342 00:23:15,435 --> 00:23:18,854 Look, I've got news for you. You see these apples? 343 00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:22,274 I buy them by the crate at the nearest grocery store. 344 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:25,569 Wiseguys wanna believe that these apples bring me luck... 345 00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:27,988 That's two strikes against them. 346 00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,157 You know about psychology? 347 00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:33,828 Yeah, I know about whatever you call it. 348 00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:36,872 It's like your dark glasses. You put them on... 349 00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:39,333 And the boys start to sweat from here to Omaha. 350 00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,377 Me, I use apples. 351 00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:49,927 All right, shall we quit clownin'? 352 00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:00,688 I like the way this kid operates. 353 00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:04,066 Smart boy, smart dresser, too. 354 00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:06,944 - You like that? Very nice. - Yeah. Rich. 355 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:08,612 He likes it. 356 00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:11,615 - Do you mind if I try that on? - No. Why not? 357 00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:13,826 Give him a hand, junior. 358 00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,202 Hold it. 359 00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:19,665 Like they say, you're a smart operator. 360 00:24:19,749 --> 00:24:22,334 I've got to give you credit. You won the first round. 361 00:24:22,419 --> 00:24:24,920 This is round 2 comin' up now, though. 362 00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,006 - How does it look? - Great. Class! 363 00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:28,716 Nice color. 364 00:24:30,343 --> 00:24:31,594 Round 2. 365 00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:35,306 I got maybe eight, ten top candidates for this job. 366 00:24:35,348 --> 00:24:39,643 All smart, tough, hardheaded guys, and I can take my pick of any one of them. 367 00:24:39,728 --> 00:24:44,440 Suppose you tell me, in 10 words or less, like a telegram: 368 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:49,820 Why should Steve darcey give the New York territory to Dave the dude? 369 00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:52,656 Go ahead, talk. 370 00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:54,950 That's a good question. 371 00:24:54,993 --> 00:24:56,494 - Right, joy boy? - Beautiful. 372 00:24:56,578 --> 00:24:57,745 - Got an answer? - No. 373 00:24:57,829 --> 00:24:58,996 - Got a question? - Yeah. 374 00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:01,999 Ask it in 10 words, like a telegram. 375 00:25:02,709 --> 00:25:07,379 Why should Dave the dude give New York territory to darcey? 376 00:25:08,131 --> 00:25:09,798 That's 11, but... 377 00:25:10,675 --> 00:25:12,259 You his mouthpiece? 378 00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:15,513 - Call me his doormat. - Why don't you lay down and act like one? 379 00:25:15,555 --> 00:25:19,767 Joy boy happens to be my friend, and all my friends are 9 feet tall... 380 00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:22,102 And all my friends make very bad doormats. 381 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:24,688 You bootleggers, you were 9 feet tall. 382 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:30,277 All big fish in a little pond, but all of a sudden, all the little ponds are dryin' up. 383 00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:32,112 That's where the king comes in. 384 00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:34,490 I'm makin' a syndicate, a national syndicate. 385 00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:38,452 I'm gonna push some of you poor, little, gasping sharks back in the water. 386 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:42,039 But it's gonna be my water. It'll cover the whole country. 387 00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:44,583 - Deep water? - Deep? 388 00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:47,878 How deep? Dames, dope. That's a little over my head. 389 00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:50,381 Come on, that's bush league. 390 00:25:51,341 --> 00:25:54,134 I'm gonna operate from presidential suites. 391 00:25:54,261 --> 00:25:58,347 Gonna elect judges, gonna contribute to charities, finance operas. 392 00:25:58,765 --> 00:26:01,725 We're gonna be into big, profitable business... 393 00:26:02,352 --> 00:26:04,728 Catering to all human weaknesses. 394 00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:11,735 - What would be my cut? - Your cut? 395 00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:15,406 The New York territory, right down the middle. 396 00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:18,409 - If you're the right guy. - He's the only guy. 397 00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:20,995 There's one more little detail. 398 00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:25,082 We request the franchise holder to put up $50,000. 399 00:26:27,335 --> 00:26:28,877 In small bills. 400 00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,423 As a token of their good faith. 401 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,551 - Who's drivin'? - Herman. 402 00:26:37,512 --> 00:26:38,971 - Herman? - Yeah? 403 00:26:39,055 --> 00:26:42,600 Take Mr. darcey anywhere he wants while he's in town. He's my guest. 404 00:26:42,642 --> 00:26:46,228 - And drop me off at the nearest good stop. - Okay, boss. 405 00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:48,814 Wait a minute. 406 00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:51,984 - You're not interested? - No, not right now. 407 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:57,114 Because, you see, this is one fish that isn't jumping into anybody's pond... 408 00:26:57,282 --> 00:27:01,035 Unless I'm paid $100,000 in cash... 409 00:27:01,870 --> 00:27:03,662 As a token of your good faith. 410 00:27:03,747 --> 00:27:06,165 You want the syndicate to pay you? 411 00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:08,500 I'm the lucky one, remember? 412 00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:13,464 Boys, let's go. We've got some ponds that need watering real bad. 413 00:27:13,965 --> 00:27:18,469 If you get an itch for any of those human weaknesses yourself, just holler. 414 00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:21,013 This is my town. 415 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:23,599 Wait a minute. 416 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:27,645 I said I like your style, but you know the rules as good as I do. 417 00:27:27,979 --> 00:27:31,023 The king makes an offer, the king gets turned down... 418 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,108 The king loses face. 419 00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:37,029 On a king, that coat looks good. Wear it. 420 00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:48,499 That guy is gonna play on my side, or he ain't gonna play at all. 421 00:27:48,708 --> 00:27:51,460 If it was me, I'd warm up the blowtorch. 422 00:27:55,215 --> 00:27:57,216 - Any mail? - Tomorrow. 423 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:15,359 He uses a blowtorch on people. What does he do, weld them? 424 00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:18,195 King. I don't like that guy. 425 00:28:18,863 --> 00:28:21,073 It'd be fun to take him apart, huh? 426 00:28:21,157 --> 00:28:24,201 Yeah, it'd be a load of laughs, all the way up to our funeral. 427 00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:40,986 Scat. 428 00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:50,579 Lying all over my poor baby's picture... 429 00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:56,668 As if it were the only place to sleep. 430 00:30:08,973 --> 00:30:12,643 "My darling... 431 00:30:14,687 --> 00:30:16,021 "Louise." 432 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,669 I just love Annie's music. 433 00:30:41,631 --> 00:30:44,675 "The reception... 434 00:30:47,804 --> 00:30:50,097 "I gave... 435 00:31:08,366 --> 00:31:10,993 "For lord... 436 00:31:12,787 --> 00:31:14,454 "Ferncliff..." 437 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:19,042 Here's to lord ferncliff. 438 00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:33,724 "You will notice I have increased... 439 00:31:33,808 --> 00:31:37,019 "Your allowance this year. 440 00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:42,900 "It breaks my heart that I have not been able... 441 00:31:42,942 --> 00:31:46,111 "To see you all these years. 442 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:50,240 "But Dr. Michel still insists... 443 00:31:50,325 --> 00:31:53,744 "An ocean voyage could be fatal." 444 00:31:54,579 --> 00:31:56,079 The old crab. 445 00:32:05,256 --> 00:32:09,092 "Your stepfather thought he might be able... 446 00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:11,428 "To make the trip this year." 447 00:32:13,556 --> 00:32:17,517 You didn't know you had a stepfather, did you? 448 00:32:19,604 --> 00:32:21,104 Neither did I. 449 00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:27,861 "The young man you wrote about... 450 00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:30,530 "Sounds perfectly divine... 451 00:32:31,074 --> 00:32:34,910 "And I hope he loves you... 452 00:32:35,328 --> 00:32:39,623 "As much as you love him... 453 00:32:42,085 --> 00:32:44,294 "And as much as... 454 00:32:44,796 --> 00:32:47,297 "I love you... 455 00:32:49,133 --> 00:32:51,301 "My darling." 456 00:33:06,859 --> 00:33:09,194 Herbie, the boat's in. Did you... 457 00:33:09,737 --> 00:33:11,530 Where's your uniform? 458 00:33:11,948 --> 00:33:15,826 You gin-guzzling witch. On account of you, I got the sack. 459 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,869 You can't get fired. 460 00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:21,873 Can't, eh? They caught me putting your lousy letter in my pocket. 461 00:33:22,250 --> 00:33:24,710 - I oughta break your... - Where is it? 462 00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:27,754 - What am I gonna tell my old lady? - Where is my letter? 463 00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:30,507 How do I know? They took it away from me. 464 00:33:37,098 --> 00:33:38,932 You can't go in there. 465 00:33:46,315 --> 00:33:49,151 You must be in the wrong place. Peddlers aren't allowed. 466 00:33:49,193 --> 00:33:50,694 Let go of me. 467 00:34:05,376 --> 00:34:07,044 I beg your pardon. 468 00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,421 My gracious stars. 469 00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:15,052 I have some mail here. A letter from Barcelona, Spain. 470 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:18,597 - A letter? - It came for me this morning. 471 00:34:19,182 --> 00:34:21,767 Are you stopping here, my good woman? 472 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:23,977 No, I'm not. 473 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,064 But I do have a letter here, please. 474 00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:31,068 - What is your name? - Mrs. e. Worthington manville. 475 00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:34,654 Mrs. e. Worthington manville? 476 00:34:36,616 --> 00:34:40,077 Wait here. Mrs. e. Worthington manville. 477 00:35:01,390 --> 00:35:05,102 Good afternoon, Mrs. manville. Is there anything I can do for you? 478 00:35:05,645 --> 00:35:08,730 There's a letter here for me. I'd like to get it. 479 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,775 A letter addressed to the hotel marberry? 480 00:35:12,068 --> 00:35:14,611 Yes, I told that feller all about it. 481 00:35:14,779 --> 00:35:17,239 Are you sure you're not mistaken, my dear lady? 482 00:35:17,281 --> 00:35:21,368 No, I'm not mistaken. I've been getting my letters here for years. 483 00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:25,622 You're not a guest of the marberry, are you? 484 00:35:25,665 --> 00:35:29,584 Of course not! Any fool could see that. 485 00:35:29,961 --> 00:35:33,964 - There's no necessity for shouting. - Then why don't you give me my letter? 486 00:35:34,048 --> 00:35:37,342 Why do you keep on asking a lot of stupid questions? 487 00:35:37,885 --> 00:35:41,179 I'm sorry, madam. I'm compelled to ask you to leave these premises. 488 00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:45,392 - No! Not until I get my letter. - Shall I call the police, Mr. Cole? 489 00:35:45,476 --> 00:35:49,312 Send for the police. I'm no criminal. I haven't done anything. 490 00:35:52,650 --> 00:35:56,695 Please, mister. I don't want to make any trouble! 491 00:35:57,488 --> 00:35:59,823 I just want my letter, that's all. 492 00:36:00,366 --> 00:36:02,325 It's from my daughter. 493 00:36:04,203 --> 00:36:06,496 It came all the way from Spain. 494 00:36:08,374 --> 00:36:10,333 She thinks I'm somebody. 495 00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:13,336 Please? 496 00:36:15,506 --> 00:36:16,673 Lloyd? 497 00:36:18,384 --> 00:36:20,177 Yes, Mr. Cole? 498 00:36:20,261 --> 00:36:23,388 Lloyd, do you recall a letter addressed to a Mrs. manville? 499 00:36:23,472 --> 00:36:25,515 Mrs. e. Worthington manville? 500 00:36:26,934 --> 00:36:29,269 Yes, it came this morning. 501 00:36:29,353 --> 00:36:31,062 You see? I told you. 502 00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:34,024 - Let her have it. - God bless you. 503 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:35,525 God bless you. 504 00:36:35,610 --> 00:36:39,654 - What are you waiting for? Get the letter. - Yes, but I sent it back. 505 00:36:39,739 --> 00:36:41,072 You sent it back? 506 00:36:41,157 --> 00:36:43,867 Yes, I returned it marked: "Party not known here." 507 00:36:43,951 --> 00:36:46,578 No, you can't send it back. 508 00:36:46,746 --> 00:36:50,207 She'll find out that I don't live here, don't you see? 509 00:36:50,666 --> 00:36:52,542 Please. Has the mail gone out yet? 510 00:36:52,627 --> 00:36:55,045 Yes, the boys picked it up just a twinkle ago. 511 00:36:55,087 --> 00:36:57,422 - It's probably... - Look. There he is now. 512 00:36:57,590 --> 00:36:58,673 Boy! 513 00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:01,051 You! Stop! 514 00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,887 She can't do that in here. Stop her! 515 00:37:04,263 --> 00:37:06,681 Don't put any more letters in that box. 516 00:37:09,518 --> 00:37:11,311 Where do you think you are? 517 00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:15,190 There it is. I'd know it anywhere. 518 00:37:20,196 --> 00:37:22,989 - Thank you, sir. - Leave this hotel at once. 519 00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:25,367 Here. 520 00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:28,745 Bless you, sir. 521 00:38:31,684 --> 00:38:35,145 - An old lady passed out. - Get water, somebody. 522 00:38:35,229 --> 00:38:36,771 Come on, there. Upsy-Daisy. 523 00:38:36,814 --> 00:38:39,482 - Take my hand. - That's what that legal gin'll do. 524 00:38:39,525 --> 00:38:40,984 Where's my letter? 525 00:38:41,027 --> 00:38:42,485 - Grab her hat. - Help her up. 526 00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:43,653 Grab her hand. 527 00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:45,447 Up you go. There you are. 528 00:38:45,489 --> 00:38:47,365 I'm all right. Let me go. 529 00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:49,743 - Are you all right? - Here you are. 530 00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:54,789 With prohibition repealed, you'll see our streets full of nasty old drunks like that. 531 00:39:08,137 --> 00:39:09,846 Listen, flyaway. 532 00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:14,017 Are you the smartest agent in town, or are you just a lotta talk? What is it? 533 00:39:14,101 --> 00:39:16,853 Your butter, I don't need. You want four bodyguards? 534 00:39:16,896 --> 00:39:18,772 They get a $100 a week, I get $100. 535 00:39:18,856 --> 00:39:21,274 - With guns. - Then I get $200. 536 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:25,153 - Why you? They got the guns. - What's guns? I got the permits. 537 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:28,365 But they gotta be from out of town, they gotta dress nice... 538 00:39:28,407 --> 00:39:30,450 And they only shoot in self-defense. 539 00:39:30,534 --> 00:39:32,369 You want four tom mixes. 540 00:39:32,411 --> 00:39:34,621 What's the matter, you don't owe me a favor? 541 00:39:34,705 --> 00:39:36,122 Do I owe you movie stars? 542 00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:39,876 Didn't I help when you were in trouble, snuck you outta town in little switz? 543 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,295 - Do you want my wife? - Which one? 544 00:39:44,006 --> 00:39:46,049 Who do you want protected? 545 00:39:46,884 --> 00:39:49,219 He can't know nothin' about it. 546 00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:51,596 The boss. 547 00:39:52,932 --> 00:39:56,559 The dude? I wouldn't do that for $1 million! 548 00:39:56,811 --> 00:39:59,646 - What are you talkin' about? - He's hot. The dude is hot. 549 00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:02,315 I never was here. Get yourself the marines! 550 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,818 What? You creep, where you goin'? Come here! 551 00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:08,029 It was all over town in two minutes. He insulted a king. 552 00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:09,614 King? What king? 553 00:40:10,825 --> 00:40:12,575 Who remembers faces? 554 00:40:13,035 --> 00:40:15,745 I don't remember... it was open. 555 00:40:15,788 --> 00:40:17,414 Where's the king of New York? 556 00:40:17,456 --> 00:40:19,833 Where you been? The dude's been lookin' for you. 557 00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:21,126 He read winchell. 558 00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:24,003 Just returning a few items I won't be needing any longer. 559 00:40:24,088 --> 00:40:26,631 Two kings in New York, and one needs a bodyguard? 560 00:40:26,715 --> 00:40:28,091 He ain't my client! 561 00:40:28,175 --> 00:40:29,592 - Stay here! - I pass! 562 00:40:29,677 --> 00:40:31,261 Stay! I've gotta talk to you. 563 00:40:31,303 --> 00:40:33,680 Flyaway, there's a $10,000 bonus! 564 00:40:33,764 --> 00:40:34,764 Hello? 565 00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:37,100 Junior, what do you want? 566 00:40:37,184 --> 00:40:40,937 I am here with two representatives of our out-of-town friend, Mr. bigelow. 567 00:40:41,021 --> 00:40:44,315 - Bigelow. What bigelow? - The Chicago bigelow. 568 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,444 He wants to see the boss right away to negotiate deal. 569 00:40:48,028 --> 00:40:51,114 Holy cow, the deal's still on, and the dude ain't here. 570 00:40:51,157 --> 00:40:55,410 Look, junior, you gotta stall them. Stall them. I gotta think in my head. 571 00:40:55,661 --> 00:40:58,705 Tell him to hurry. Mr. b. Has a touch of mal de Mary. 572 00:40:58,998 --> 00:41:01,624 Mal de what? You mean seasickness. 573 00:41:02,334 --> 00:41:05,795 Look, you just get the car and come over. Wait a minute. 574 00:41:06,213 --> 00:41:08,006 He's gonna need an apple. 575 00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:10,925 Stop at schubert alley, pick up the bag and her apples... 576 00:41:10,968 --> 00:41:13,636 And don't stop to play stickball on the way. 577 00:41:15,222 --> 00:41:16,681 There you are. 578 00:41:16,765 --> 00:41:21,269 Dude, the man's on the phone! The man wants to negotiate a deal! 579 00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:25,315 - Is this true, what I read in winchell's? - I'm pleased you can read! 580 00:41:25,399 --> 00:41:27,484 You two-timin' dame. Are you leavin' me? 581 00:41:27,568 --> 00:41:30,153 You walkin' out on me for that cafeteria clown? 582 00:41:30,237 --> 00:41:32,071 The wedding's Saturday. Wanna come? 583 00:41:32,156 --> 00:41:34,491 You two-timin'... You ain't even been one time! 584 00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:37,952 You ain't walkin' out on me after what I did for you. 585 00:41:37,995 --> 00:41:41,164 I took you from nothing and made you into something. For what? 586 00:41:41,207 --> 00:41:43,500 So I could become a gangster's flashy moll? 587 00:41:43,542 --> 00:41:45,877 - Not me, mister. - You ain't walkin' out on me. 588 00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:49,172 You ain't walkin' out on me, not on Dave the dude. 589 00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:51,549 I'm not walking. I'm running. 590 00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:56,721 You listen to me. Now, watch it. 591 00:41:56,805 --> 00:41:58,973 - You... - Watch it, queenie. 592 00:42:00,184 --> 00:42:01,809 What're they doin'? 593 00:42:02,186 --> 00:42:04,270 Playing house. Are you still here? 594 00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:05,563 The bodyguards, I... 595 00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:08,191 What bodyguards? Can't you see I'm a busy man? 596 00:42:08,275 --> 00:42:11,194 What's the matter with you? Take a walk! Out! 597 00:42:25,668 --> 00:42:27,710 You're not goin' out that door. 598 00:42:27,795 --> 00:42:30,547 You owe me one thing, and I'm gonna collect. 599 00:42:30,589 --> 00:42:33,675 You ain't leavin' here without giving it to me. 600 00:42:33,717 --> 00:42:34,801 You! 601 00:42:48,732 --> 00:42:52,026 Look at this place. Like the inside of a goat's stomach. 602 00:42:55,281 --> 00:42:57,365 Look, I don't want to butt in. 603 00:42:57,408 --> 00:42:59,784 Excuse me for interrupting, but... 604 00:43:01,579 --> 00:43:03,580 You have the worst sense of timing. 605 00:43:03,622 --> 00:43:06,291 I hate to interrupt, but you have to drop everything... 606 00:43:06,375 --> 00:43:08,793 Because I just got a message from junior. 607 00:43:08,877 --> 00:43:10,753 From darcey? What'd he say? 608 00:43:10,796 --> 00:43:13,631 - Will you get me a pair of pants? - Change your own diapers! 609 00:43:13,716 --> 00:43:16,593 I said, "pants me." And get yourself fixed up. 610 00:43:16,635 --> 00:43:18,720 Make yourself decent. What'd he say? 611 00:43:18,762 --> 00:43:21,097 In front of her? She's marrying j.P. Cafeteria. 612 00:43:21,181 --> 00:43:24,434 I don't care if she marries j. Edgar hoover. What'd he say? 613 00:43:24,476 --> 00:43:29,105 I could hardly believe it myself, but darcey wants to meet with you again. 614 00:43:29,481 --> 00:43:31,733 - There she comes. - Right away. 615 00:43:31,775 --> 00:43:34,193 I tell you he'd come around, didn't I? 616 00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:37,488 He hasn't come around yet. This is worth millions. 617 00:43:37,573 --> 00:43:39,991 Let's not blow the whole cake for a little crumb. 618 00:43:40,075 --> 00:43:41,534 Will ya stop worryin'? 619 00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:43,870 Other guys pay him, so why should he pay you? 620 00:43:43,954 --> 00:43:45,673 I'll tell you why, 'cause I'm Dave the dude. 621 00:43:45,686 --> 00:43:47,415 I'm not one of the others. 622 00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:49,375 - Go get Annie. - Yes, go get Annie. 623 00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:53,212 That's all taken care of. Junior is bringin' her over right now. 624 00:43:57,676 --> 00:43:59,636 Watch where you're goin'! 625 00:44:05,017 --> 00:44:06,392 Yeah? What? 626 00:44:07,102 --> 00:44:09,937 - We're on our way. - You're keepin' darcey waitin' again. 627 00:44:09,980 --> 00:44:12,982 - So let him wait. - We can't. The man is king! 628 00:44:13,025 --> 00:44:16,152 The king loses face, our heads go on display in the marketplace. 629 00:44:16,236 --> 00:44:19,364 You've been readin' books again. Where the hell is Annie? 630 00:44:21,408 --> 00:44:23,409 Big shots. Big dopes! 631 00:44:23,535 --> 00:44:27,205 Your life depends on a beggar's wormy apples and this superstitious heel. 632 00:44:27,289 --> 00:44:28,373 You still here? 633 00:44:28,457 --> 00:44:30,625 Only you'll wind up in the federal pen... 634 00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:33,211 Or swimming with your feet in cement, like papa. 635 00:44:33,295 --> 00:44:37,131 - That's why I'm marrying Howard Porter! - Don't keep the groom waitin'. 636 00:44:37,633 --> 00:44:40,051 - Not another minute! - Will you get back in there? 637 00:44:40,135 --> 00:44:41,886 If I could only cry. 638 00:44:45,683 --> 00:44:49,018 I can't find apple Annie anywhere. She ain't nowhere. 639 00:44:49,561 --> 00:44:51,020 I hope she croaks! 640 00:44:51,063 --> 00:44:53,856 What do you mean, you can't find her anywhere, you dummy? 641 00:44:53,899 --> 00:44:57,402 All you gotta do is ask any panhandler on Broadway. 642 00:44:57,486 --> 00:44:59,779 There ain't no panhandlers on Broadway. 643 00:44:59,863 --> 00:45:02,865 - What ya talkin' about? - There ain't a beggar on the street. 644 00:45:02,908 --> 00:45:06,244 It's scary. It's like Broadway was naked. I'm ashamed to look at it. 645 00:45:06,328 --> 00:45:08,121 Hiya, Mr. dude, fellas. 646 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:12,709 The easter parade is a little early this year. 647 00:45:14,253 --> 00:45:16,379 No panhandlers on Broadway? 648 00:45:17,214 --> 00:45:19,120 I didn't see 'em before. I should drop dead. 649 00:45:19,133 --> 00:45:21,050 Maybe you should. 650 00:45:21,093 --> 00:45:22,719 That's only an expression. 651 00:45:22,761 --> 00:45:24,595 Any of you crumbs seen apple Annie? 652 00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:26,139 I saw her. I'll tell you. 653 00:45:26,223 --> 00:45:28,391 Wait a minute! One at a time! You. 654 00:45:28,434 --> 00:45:30,393 - It's about Annie. - What about Annie? 655 00:45:30,477 --> 00:45:32,979 - She's in a pickle. - Pickled, I can believe that. 656 00:45:33,063 --> 00:45:35,356 Mallethead found her wanderin' the waterfront... 657 00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:37,066 And in the water she was looking. 658 00:45:37,109 --> 00:45:39,318 She was stumblin' along, talkin' to herself. 659 00:45:39,403 --> 00:45:41,904 She was sobbin'. It's a good thing I run into her. 660 00:45:41,947 --> 00:45:44,198 What's the big deal? She's got a package on. 661 00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:45,867 It's worse than being swacked. 662 00:45:45,909 --> 00:45:48,411 She's been swipin' stationery from the marberry hotel. 663 00:45:48,495 --> 00:45:50,747 - For years. - And writin' letters to her daughter. 664 00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:54,333 - Daughter? That old bag? - She's a woman, ain't she? 665 00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:59,213 - What's this about a daughter? - Annie's got this daughter over in Spain. 666 00:45:59,256 --> 00:46:01,758 She was raised in a convent since she was a baby. 667 00:46:01,842 --> 00:46:04,427 She's comin' over for a visit and bringin' a count. 668 00:46:04,470 --> 00:46:08,055 - She's gonna marry a count or somethin'. - What is this? A rib? 669 00:46:08,265 --> 00:46:10,933 Annie's been sendin' her money every month for years. 670 00:46:10,976 --> 00:46:14,103 We been lettin' her shake us down 'cause we knew all about it. 671 00:46:14,146 --> 00:46:16,814 We're her godfathers. We all got a piece of the kid. 672 00:46:16,899 --> 00:46:19,942 We figure you're a godfather, too. You got the biggest piece. 673 00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:21,027 Me? 674 00:46:21,111 --> 00:46:23,696 'Cause of the big tips you give Annie for the apples. 675 00:46:23,781 --> 00:46:26,866 - God bless you. - That's why her apples were lucky for you. 676 00:46:26,950 --> 00:46:30,161 Can't we tune out on this soap opera? We got an appointment to keep. 677 00:46:30,245 --> 00:46:32,955 - You keep it. Stall him. - How do I stall him? 678 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:36,000 I'll be along as soon as I get my apple. Move it! 679 00:46:37,002 --> 00:46:39,629 - Where's Annie? - At her flop. I'll show you. 680 00:46:39,713 --> 00:46:41,881 Come on. The old dame may be sick. 681 00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:45,927 - I've got a date with Howard Porter. - Never mind Howard Porter. I need you. 682 00:46:45,969 --> 00:46:48,971 Annie needs you, too, the way your old lady needed somebody. 683 00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:50,973 - Just a minute... - Move it! 684 00:46:51,058 --> 00:46:52,725 No panhandlers on Broadway. 685 00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:55,561 Keep your mind off that blonde you run around with. 686 00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:58,731 I don't think about her during the daytime, boss! 687 00:47:04,154 --> 00:47:07,532 If it isn't my dear friend Dave the dude... 688 00:47:07,616 --> 00:47:09,534 And his charming broad. 689 00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:11,911 She's just bagged again. You had me worried. 690 00:47:11,995 --> 00:47:13,663 Where's the bottle? All right. 691 00:47:13,705 --> 00:47:17,166 So nice of you to come. The Butler'll take your things. 692 00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:20,253 Lovely estate you have here, lady chatterley. 693 00:47:20,963 --> 00:47:25,508 It's nothing really, just something I keep for the hunting season. 694 00:47:26,718 --> 00:47:30,555 Everybody's coming down for the hunting season, don't you know? 695 00:47:30,931 --> 00:47:32,932 The flea hunt, isn't it? 696 00:47:34,977 --> 00:47:36,602 How about that? 697 00:47:36,812 --> 00:47:39,397 You tryin' to knock yourself off or somethin'? 698 00:47:39,481 --> 00:47:42,400 The doc told you about this stuff. This paint'll poison you. 699 00:47:42,484 --> 00:47:43,901 - Look. - What? 700 00:47:43,986 --> 00:47:46,279 The old lady's had her moments. 701 00:47:49,741 --> 00:47:51,075 Who is it? 702 00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:53,995 You really got yourself a kid? 703 00:47:54,496 --> 00:47:57,498 Don't sit there slobberin'. Is this your kid? 704 00:47:58,208 --> 00:47:59,292 No. 705 00:47:59,376 --> 00:48:01,961 Those crumbs, takin' me for a sucker. 706 00:48:03,672 --> 00:48:04,922 My baby! 707 00:48:05,132 --> 00:48:07,466 - All right. Stand up. - My baby. 708 00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:10,052 Dude knows all about it. He's a godfather, too. 709 00:48:10,095 --> 00:48:12,930 I don't want to catch you casin' the waterfront again. 710 00:48:13,015 --> 00:48:17,226 I was born in a place like this. I don't wanna come back to it. So I need you. 711 00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:19,854 What's all this malarkey about a kid? 712 00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:29,196 She's comin' over with a count. 713 00:48:29,531 --> 00:48:32,158 She's going to marry his son. 714 00:48:33,577 --> 00:48:34,869 Royalty. 715 00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:38,456 They're coming over to meet me. 716 00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:40,917 Me. 717 00:48:42,085 --> 00:48:45,129 Wait'll they get a load of apple Annie. 718 00:48:45,213 --> 00:48:47,465 That'll be a laugh. 719 00:48:47,925 --> 00:48:49,258 Hey, dude? 720 00:48:50,093 --> 00:48:53,179 Wait'll they meet her crummy old lady. 721 00:48:54,264 --> 00:48:55,640 Eh, queenie? 722 00:48:56,266 --> 00:48:58,851 And see this dump. 723 00:49:01,438 --> 00:49:05,149 You can't do this. Come on, you old souse. You get up outta there. 724 00:49:05,233 --> 00:49:06,859 - Dude, easy. - What do you mean? 725 00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:11,614 - Old souse, maybe, but full of dreams. - She's full of gin. Where's the apples? 726 00:49:11,657 --> 00:49:14,742 - Will somebody tell me? - Here're your lousy apples. 727 00:49:14,952 --> 00:49:18,788 Old fool, gettin' herself in a jam like this. 728 00:49:23,001 --> 00:49:24,460 Come on, let's go. 729 00:49:24,544 --> 00:49:28,214 You're acting like darcey already. You can't leave her here like this. 730 00:49:28,298 --> 00:49:31,634 What should I do? Tuck her in bed and sing her a lullaby? 731 00:49:31,677 --> 00:49:33,928 - What about her daughter? - What should I do? 732 00:49:33,971 --> 00:49:36,347 When she gets here, she'll be in a psycho ward. 733 00:49:36,431 --> 00:49:40,434 She'll be all right in the morning. I'll send Dr. Michel down. Come on. 734 00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:53,072 What am I going to do, queenie? 735 00:49:55,993 --> 00:49:57,326 Poor creep. 736 00:49:58,620 --> 00:50:01,497 Some dude must have gotten in your blood once, too. 737 00:50:01,581 --> 00:50:03,916 Come on, I'm way past post time. 738 00:50:05,043 --> 00:50:07,211 I've got troubles, but, boy... 739 00:50:07,921 --> 00:50:09,588 You need a miracle. 740 00:50:09,673 --> 00:50:11,757 What am I going to do? 741 00:50:13,468 --> 00:50:15,177 What're you gonna do? 742 00:50:15,220 --> 00:50:17,555 - About what? - About miss Annie. 743 00:50:17,806 --> 00:50:20,057 What do you expect me to do? Come on. 744 00:50:20,142 --> 00:50:23,144 We thought you could get her into the marberry. 745 00:50:23,228 --> 00:50:25,479 Apple Annie in the marberry? 746 00:50:26,356 --> 00:50:28,691 - You're crazy. - Just for a week. 747 00:50:28,775 --> 00:50:30,609 Now listen, Mr. dude. 748 00:50:30,819 --> 00:50:33,529 We already took up a collection, we did. 749 00:50:34,781 --> 00:50:37,616 We all chipped in $65 to get her in. 750 00:50:38,785 --> 00:50:42,288 You did? $65 is a tip at the marberry. You're all bats. 751 00:50:42,372 --> 00:50:45,374 - What about that playboy friend of yours? - Rodney Kent. 752 00:50:45,459 --> 00:50:47,657 He's got a penthouse at the marberry. 753 00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:49,879 Keep outta this. You, too, junior. Move it. 754 00:50:49,963 --> 00:50:52,548 Annie at the marberry. I said, "move it!" 755 00:50:58,638 --> 00:51:01,057 His luck is gonna turn awful bad. 756 00:51:04,186 --> 00:51:06,062 Apple, be lucky today. 757 00:51:06,688 --> 00:51:10,441 All you little people in there, start workin'. Real hard. 758 00:51:12,736 --> 00:51:16,155 When you get home, call doc Michel and have him see Annie. 759 00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:18,824 She'll be all right. She's on a bender. 760 00:51:20,660 --> 00:51:23,579 Ain't it a fact? You've seen her swacked before. 761 00:51:23,663 --> 00:51:27,625 What the hell do I care? I've got what I want, the city of New York. 762 00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:31,670 This great big town and all those heels that pushed me around, it's all mine. 763 00:51:31,755 --> 00:51:35,091 All mine and stretched right out on a silver platter. 764 00:51:35,592 --> 00:51:38,219 'Cause darcey's come around to my way. 765 00:51:38,553 --> 00:51:41,639 What do I need that old apple-souse for, anyhow? 766 00:51:42,933 --> 00:51:46,102 You know, they say luck is superstition. 767 00:51:47,312 --> 00:51:50,106 It ain't superstition. Do you know what it is? 768 00:51:50,190 --> 00:51:51,857 Luck is an art... 769 00:51:52,818 --> 00:51:54,652 An art I got. 770 00:51:54,736 --> 00:51:57,780 So I lose the old lady and her apples. So what? 771 00:52:00,992 --> 00:52:03,452 Apple Annie at the marberry hotel. 772 00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:10,209 What do you expect me to do, for cryin' out loud? 773 00:52:12,879 --> 00:52:14,797 Will you say somethin'? 774 00:52:18,385 --> 00:52:20,302 Will you say somethin'? 775 00:52:27,644 --> 00:52:31,313 Okay, Mr. big shot. Now keep your date with darcey. 776 00:52:42,075 --> 00:52:43,659 And no more gin. 777 00:52:46,121 --> 00:52:49,248 These rich guys use checkers with horses on them. 778 00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:51,417 Put that down. 779 00:52:51,501 --> 00:52:54,295 I oughta have my head shrunk doin' a thing like this. 780 00:52:54,337 --> 00:52:55,921 You at the marberry hotel. 781 00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:58,340 Why not swipe stationery from the white house? 782 00:52:58,383 --> 00:53:00,843 Could've said you were Eleanor Roosevelt. 783 00:53:06,975 --> 00:53:08,809 Whom did you wish to see? 784 00:53:08,852 --> 00:53:12,813 - Is this Rodney Kent's igloo? - This is Mr. Kent's penthouse, yes. 785 00:53:12,981 --> 00:53:15,816 But unfortunately, Mr. Kent is in havana. 786 00:53:16,318 --> 00:53:17,484 - He is? - Yes. 787 00:53:17,777 --> 00:53:20,696 Where did you get the idea that I give a hang where he is? 788 00:53:20,780 --> 00:53:23,365 - I just assumed that... - Come over here. 789 00:53:24,075 --> 00:53:27,453 I'm gonna tell you somethin' that's gonna make you wet all over. 790 00:53:27,537 --> 00:53:28,704 Really? 791 00:53:29,164 --> 00:53:31,874 I don't care anything about Rodney Kent. 792 00:53:32,709 --> 00:53:34,877 I'm lookin' for Dave the dude. 793 00:53:34,961 --> 00:53:37,546 - Who is that? - He's here, ain't he? 794 00:53:37,589 --> 00:53:38,923 Well, yes. 795 00:53:40,550 --> 00:53:44,887 What are you standin' there for, growin' in the carpet? Take me to him. 796 00:53:46,181 --> 00:53:47,223 Yes. 797 00:53:48,850 --> 00:53:50,768 Wait here, will you, please? 798 00:53:51,811 --> 00:53:53,479 There is no carpet. 799 00:53:57,609 --> 00:53:58,734 Sir? 800 00:53:58,818 --> 00:54:01,070 A gentleman, rather primitive. 801 00:54:03,073 --> 00:54:05,950 You finally made the grade. I don't know what's goin' on. 802 00:54:06,034 --> 00:54:07,409 Come here. 803 00:54:08,620 --> 00:54:11,080 - Where ya been? - Where have I been? 804 00:54:11,164 --> 00:54:14,959 - I've had to do everything myself. - I've been through a meat-grinder. 805 00:54:15,043 --> 00:54:17,836 For 24 hours, I've been locked up in little switz... 806 00:54:17,921 --> 00:54:21,173 Listenin' to that howling seasick gorilla. I'm alibiing... 807 00:54:21,258 --> 00:54:23,384 What do ya mean, "alibiing"? What for? 808 00:54:23,426 --> 00:54:25,052 For you. For not showing up. 809 00:54:25,095 --> 00:54:28,222 So I didn't show up. How'd you leave the big man? 810 00:54:28,265 --> 00:54:30,933 - Head first and landed in the gutter. - Good. 811 00:54:31,017 --> 00:54:35,187 Says he won't talk to messenger boys. Says he barbecues them. 812 00:54:36,022 --> 00:54:37,690 He used the blowtorch? 813 00:54:37,774 --> 00:54:40,693 He says next time I'll be inside the shirt when he does it. 814 00:54:40,777 --> 00:54:44,321 Bluff in'. That's his psychology. Pay no attention to it. 815 00:54:44,489 --> 00:54:45,948 What's this? 816 00:54:47,075 --> 00:54:49,285 Meet the new queen of society. 817 00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:52,288 This is Annie, the duchess of apples. 818 00:54:52,914 --> 00:54:55,249 What's your daughter doin' in Spain? 819 00:54:55,792 --> 00:54:57,459 Who's her father? 820 00:55:02,257 --> 00:55:05,551 That ain't a polite question to ask a dame like Annie. 821 00:55:05,677 --> 00:55:06,969 Wait a minute. 822 00:55:07,012 --> 00:55:10,639 You mean that Rodney Kent gave you his apartment for this owl? 823 00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,351 He's a bigger sucker than I am. He even threw in the Butler. Look. 824 00:55:14,436 --> 00:55:17,646 But not against my will, sir. I love cinderella stories. 825 00:55:17,689 --> 00:55:19,273 Don't you, sir? 826 00:55:19,524 --> 00:55:20,983 Take a walk. 827 00:55:24,529 --> 00:55:26,989 - What happened to queenie? - I don't know! 828 00:55:27,032 --> 00:55:28,991 Dave, I gotta talk to you. 829 00:55:29,075 --> 00:55:31,910 You gotta forget this and meet with darcey. 830 00:55:31,995 --> 00:55:35,622 That's the deal of a lifetime. That's our living. What's all this? 831 00:55:35,665 --> 00:55:38,375 I don't know. I don't want you to tell me, either. 832 00:55:38,460 --> 00:55:42,004 What are you? A boy scout? Are you a tambourine shaker? 833 00:55:42,297 --> 00:55:45,174 There's a million do-gooders standing in line... 834 00:55:45,216 --> 00:55:48,177 Waitin' to help the hardly-ables like apple Annie. 835 00:55:48,261 --> 00:55:50,596 Stay in there and pitch, sister. 836 00:55:50,930 --> 00:55:54,183 You're Dave the dude, not little boy blue. 837 00:55:54,476 --> 00:55:57,019 What are you talkin' about? Come here. 838 00:55:57,687 --> 00:56:00,689 Ain't she always been lucky for me? Ain't she? 839 00:56:01,107 --> 00:56:05,527 Suppose I walk out on her and don't help. How long do you think my luck would last? 840 00:56:05,570 --> 00:56:07,237 You wanna help? Help! 841 00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:10,199 But you can't palm that crocodile off as society. 842 00:56:10,241 --> 00:56:12,993 She couldn't fool a pedigreed cooker spaniel. 843 00:56:13,036 --> 00:56:15,079 We'd have to clean her up some. 844 00:56:15,163 --> 00:56:16,246 Some? 845 00:56:16,873 --> 00:56:20,542 Look at her. A rag picker wouldn't stick his hook into her. 846 00:56:22,962 --> 00:56:25,339 Here they are, the miracle workers. 847 00:56:25,382 --> 00:56:28,342 Here's my maid, manicurist, hairdresser, chiropodist... 848 00:56:28,385 --> 00:56:31,011 Masseuse, and the pièce de résistance... 849 00:56:31,054 --> 00:56:34,014 Pierre of the Saxon Plaza, Pierre the divine. 850 00:56:34,099 --> 00:56:36,141 - Take a bow, toots. - Madame. 851 00:56:36,476 --> 00:56:38,602 Gang, here's your challenge. 852 00:56:38,686 --> 00:56:41,730 Come on, stand up and meet your makers. It's okay. 853 00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:44,900 This has got to be a complete overhaul, kids. 854 00:56:44,984 --> 00:56:48,237 - From top to bottom. - Don't forget a new set of kidneys. 855 00:56:48,321 --> 00:56:51,240 All right, let's go. Come on, wizards, let's whiz. 856 00:56:51,324 --> 00:56:52,574 Let's go. 857 00:56:57,956 --> 00:56:59,415 My old lady always said: 858 00:56:59,457 --> 00:57:02,167 "You can't make a pig's ear out of an old sow!" 859 00:57:02,252 --> 00:57:05,087 Monsieur, your old lady was not Pierre. 860 00:57:09,884 --> 00:57:12,136 Wait a minute. He can't go in there. 861 00:57:12,512 --> 00:57:15,973 That's all right. Believe me, fellows, it's all right. 862 00:57:37,287 --> 00:57:40,289 - Boss, you payin' for all this? - Fun, hey? 863 00:57:40,957 --> 00:57:43,667 Let's see if we can get it back from the bookies. 864 00:57:43,751 --> 00:57:45,794 What's runnin' at hialeah? 865 00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:47,963 Here's the morning lineup. 866 00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:50,090 Thanks. Read them off. 867 00:57:50,341 --> 00:57:52,926 People! Go figure them. 868 00:57:53,428 --> 00:57:56,180 - Scratch 5, 7, and 12. - 5, 7, and 12 scratched. 869 00:58:15,992 --> 00:58:19,703 It's important that these apples are kept here all the time. 870 00:58:19,996 --> 00:58:21,872 - What's your handle? - Pardon? 871 00:58:21,956 --> 00:58:24,875 - Your name? - It's hutchings, sir. With a "g." 872 00:58:25,043 --> 00:58:28,003 This ought to take care of the help for a while. 873 00:58:28,046 --> 00:58:30,130 Split it up amongst them. 874 00:58:30,173 --> 00:58:33,175 - They know to keep their mouths shut? - And their ears. 875 00:58:33,259 --> 00:58:34,790 You told them what'll happen if they don't. 876 00:58:34,803 --> 00:58:36,345 Yes, sir. 877 00:58:36,846 --> 00:58:38,555 Don't do that, please. 878 00:58:55,323 --> 00:58:58,116 My feet. I never want to see shoes again. 879 00:59:22,934 --> 00:59:24,893 Gentlemen, may I present... 880 00:59:25,061 --> 00:59:28,647 Mrs. e. Worthington manville. 881 01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:06,351 She's like a cockroach what turned into a butterfly. 882 01:00:08,688 --> 01:00:09,771 Dude... 883 01:00:11,274 --> 01:00:13,150 I'll never forget this. 884 01:00:15,445 --> 01:00:16,612 Never. 885 01:00:17,780 --> 01:00:19,281 God bless you. 886 01:00:27,290 --> 01:00:29,416 You could've fooled anybody. 887 01:00:39,510 --> 01:00:42,387 You're gonna need a little walkin' around money... 888 01:00:42,472 --> 01:00:44,348 So here you go. 889 01:00:49,228 --> 01:00:51,647 I guess everything's all set now. 890 01:00:53,816 --> 01:00:55,150 Good luck. 891 01:00:56,235 --> 01:00:58,403 Joy boy, junior, come on. 892 01:01:01,282 --> 01:01:02,949 How do we contact little switz? 893 01:01:02,992 --> 01:01:05,827 They call you every hour on the hour, or at least they did. 894 01:01:05,912 --> 01:01:07,788 We make the next call. 895 01:01:08,623 --> 01:01:12,292 - Where do you think you're going? - I did what you wanted, didn't I? 896 01:01:12,335 --> 01:01:16,338 I postponed my wedding a week because you asked me to make a lady out of her. 897 01:01:16,422 --> 01:01:19,466 Don't think you can run off and leave me holding the bag. 898 01:01:19,509 --> 01:01:20,717 No offense. 899 01:01:20,927 --> 01:01:24,346 The dude's gotta make some bread. Can't we get outta here? 900 01:01:24,389 --> 01:01:27,349 If I stall my wedding, he can stall his shortcut to sing sing. 901 01:01:27,433 --> 01:01:30,018 For Pete's sake, what else do you want? 902 01:01:30,269 --> 01:01:34,690 I don't want anything. But what about the husband she's supposed to have? 903 01:01:34,816 --> 01:01:35,857 Husband? 904 01:01:35,942 --> 01:01:38,151 That's a man who marries a woman, remember? 905 01:01:38,194 --> 01:01:40,570 - Whose husband? - Annie's! 906 01:01:40,780 --> 01:01:44,658 The honorable e. Worthington shmerthington. Who's gonna dig him up? 907 01:01:46,035 --> 01:01:47,160 Dude? 908 01:01:47,704 --> 01:01:48,954 Louise... 909 01:01:49,997 --> 01:01:53,250 My daughter, does expect a stepfather. 910 01:01:55,002 --> 01:01:58,505 Well, go get her one. Can't you do anything yourself? 911 01:01:58,548 --> 01:02:01,216 You're really on the ball. Who's she gonna get? 912 01:02:01,300 --> 01:02:04,594 - Shimkey the blind man, or smiley? - You find her one. 913 01:02:05,555 --> 01:02:08,181 You're the one who needs her, Mr. big, not me. 914 01:02:08,224 --> 01:02:10,892 I got cafeterias, I don't need apples. 915 01:02:11,352 --> 01:02:15,689 The dude's whole future depends upon this deal. Can't you get off his back? 916 01:02:15,773 --> 01:02:19,401 His whole future depends on Annie, and don't you forget it, frog-face. 917 01:02:19,444 --> 01:02:22,571 - You're a troublemaker. - You're a selfish little schtunk. 918 01:02:22,655 --> 01:02:24,114 All right! 919 01:02:24,407 --> 01:02:27,659 I'll find her a husband. 920 01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:30,412 Man, this is beautiful. 921 01:02:30,455 --> 01:02:32,862 Go tell darcey that the dude ain't available 922 01:02:32,875 --> 01:02:35,292 'cause he's out diggin' up a husband... 923 01:02:35,376 --> 01:02:38,712 For some old souse, on account of he's nuts about her apples. 924 01:02:38,921 --> 01:02:41,339 Where am I gonna find a husband? 925 01:02:48,431 --> 01:02:51,600 Where am I gonna find a husband? In Macy's basement? 926 01:02:51,726 --> 01:02:54,060 They don't sell 'em there, boss. 927 01:03:09,118 --> 01:03:10,160 Me? 928 01:03:11,078 --> 01:03:12,120 You. 929 01:03:12,789 --> 01:03:15,791 I think he'd be just precious. 930 01:03:16,417 --> 01:03:20,545 That would be a great idea. There's only one problem: 931 01:03:21,798 --> 01:03:24,132 I got a wife that's very fussy. 932 01:03:24,842 --> 01:03:28,136 She don't like for me to go around marryin' people. 933 01:03:28,971 --> 01:03:31,681 I know that might sound selfish to you... 934 01:03:32,642 --> 01:03:35,685 But she's very funny that way! 935 01:03:37,396 --> 01:03:40,690 I know his wife, he's right. She's a selfish buffalo. 936 01:03:40,817 --> 01:03:42,442 - Dude? - What? 937 01:03:43,402 --> 01:03:44,653 I got an idea. 938 01:03:45,696 --> 01:03:46,822 What? 939 01:03:47,615 --> 01:03:51,868 I know one real gentleman I'm sure we can trust. 940 01:03:52,161 --> 01:03:54,704 We? Now we're all partners. 941 01:03:55,206 --> 01:03:56,998 You know judge Blake? 942 01:03:58,793 --> 01:04:02,254 Judge Henry g. Blake. That's our man. 943 01:04:03,005 --> 01:04:04,881 Since when did you trust a judge? 944 01:04:04,966 --> 01:04:08,093 For a proposition like this, we need a guy with class... 945 01:04:08,386 --> 01:04:12,013 With dignity, a gentleman of the old school. 946 01:04:12,598 --> 01:04:14,891 And a thief! 947 01:04:16,853 --> 01:04:19,688 Judge Blake, the guy that told you you could shoot pool... 948 01:04:19,730 --> 01:04:21,690 Was yankin' your ankle. 949 01:04:22,024 --> 01:04:23,733 Sucker's ready to bite. 950 01:04:23,818 --> 01:04:28,029 Up in Providence, where I'm out of, an amateur like you would lose his pants. 951 01:04:28,072 --> 01:04:31,366 An excellent argument for never visiting Providence. 952 01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:36,872 I hate to do this to you, but I got a reputation to keep up. 953 01:04:37,540 --> 01:04:39,666 - And that does it. - Astonishing! 954 01:04:39,876 --> 01:04:43,837 Willie hoppe couldn't do better. You pool-hall poltroons. 955 01:04:44,213 --> 01:04:47,841 Once again, you have lured me into a game with a master... 956 01:04:48,175 --> 01:04:49,843 Solely for your own amusement. 957 01:04:49,886 --> 01:04:52,387 You're just gettin' warmed up. Another game? 958 01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:55,307 I came here to slay a somber afternoon... 959 01:04:55,850 --> 01:04:59,853 Not to be made sport of by pecksniffian oafs! 960 01:05:00,062 --> 01:05:02,898 Go on. It's only a nickel a ball. 961 01:05:03,357 --> 01:05:05,817 What do you say we double the bet one time? 962 01:05:05,943 --> 01:05:07,569 10 cents a ball? 963 01:05:07,904 --> 01:05:10,238 - That's a veritable fortune. - Afraid? 964 01:05:10,281 --> 01:05:13,408 Afraid? I'll make it 50 cents a ball. 965 01:05:14,201 --> 01:05:16,328 Okay, you got yourself a deal. 966 01:05:16,412 --> 01:05:18,288 Attendant, rack them up! 967 01:05:23,711 --> 01:05:24,878 Hey, judge. 968 01:05:27,673 --> 01:05:29,925 If you'll excuse me, sir, while you break... 969 01:05:30,009 --> 01:05:32,928 I'll have a word with an associate justice. 970 01:05:34,096 --> 01:05:36,514 Greetings, my intellectual giant. 971 01:05:36,807 --> 01:05:39,517 What brings you down to kew in lilac time? 972 01:05:39,644 --> 01:05:41,937 Dave the dude wants to see you. 973 01:05:42,271 --> 01:05:45,607 Your master's timing is most regrettable, my dear junior. 974 01:05:45,691 --> 01:05:48,652 I have a plump pigeon in my sights. 975 01:05:49,820 --> 01:05:54,074 Within the hour, Providence is going to provide next month's room rent. 976 01:05:54,575 --> 01:05:56,785 Come on, your honor, it's your shot. 977 01:05:56,994 --> 01:05:59,537 By your leave, sir, my pigeon is cooing. 978 01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:02,123 A little shaky? 979 01:06:02,208 --> 01:06:05,585 My boy, the impatient blade is about to descend... 980 01:06:06,879 --> 01:06:08,880 On your red hick's neck! 981 01:06:21,936 --> 01:06:23,603 That was the bedroom. 982 01:06:23,646 --> 01:06:27,649 Over here, that's the billiard room. Down here's the guest room. 983 01:06:28,567 --> 01:06:31,444 - Pretty classy layout, huh? - Lovely. 984 01:06:32,029 --> 01:06:35,740 The beauty of the Taj Mahal, the serenity of Melrose abbey. 985 01:06:36,158 --> 01:06:38,868 Sir, "if thou would'st view fair Melrose aright" 986 01:06:38,953 --> 01:06:41,413 "go visit it by the pale moonlight 987 01:06:41,622 --> 01:06:44,207 "for the gay beams of lightsome day 988 01:06:44,375 --> 01:06:47,127 "gild, but to flout, the ruins gray" 989 01:06:48,421 --> 01:06:49,671 to Scott! 990 01:06:51,007 --> 01:06:52,257 He'll do. 991 01:06:55,386 --> 01:06:58,930 Do you think you could force yourself to shack up here for a week? 992 01:06:59,015 --> 01:07:01,141 - Is he for real? - He comes with the Coop. 993 01:07:01,183 --> 01:07:05,311 If this is a deal, you get yourself a new set of rags and $100. 994 01:07:05,479 --> 01:07:08,189 What do you expect from me for all this opulence? 995 01:07:08,232 --> 01:07:10,525 Confidentially, I'm a poor hand at violence. 996 01:07:10,568 --> 01:07:13,945 You're in luck for this gag. All you gotta do is be a husband. 997 01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:15,196 - A husband? - Right. 998 01:07:15,281 --> 01:07:17,991 Impossible. I'm thrice a widower now... 999 01:07:18,034 --> 01:07:21,202 Thanks to my fleetness of foot and the grace of distance. 1000 01:07:21,287 --> 01:07:25,123 You don't have to marry the dame, just be a husband for one week. 1001 01:07:25,207 --> 01:07:27,042 Queenie, come here a minute. 1002 01:07:27,752 --> 01:07:30,628 You've heard of queenie Martin, haven't you? 1003 01:07:31,088 --> 01:07:32,964 "My cup runneth over." 1004 01:07:34,216 --> 01:07:36,217 Queenie, meet the judge. 1005 01:07:36,969 --> 01:07:39,387 I told you I'd find you a good husband. 1006 01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:43,224 This is a great honor, a rare experience... 1007 01:07:43,893 --> 01:07:45,894 And a pulsating pleasure. 1008 01:07:46,687 --> 01:07:47,896 Your honor. 1009 01:07:48,606 --> 01:07:51,608 With a new suit of clothes, he'll just make it fine. 1010 01:07:51,692 --> 01:07:53,568 Thank you, madam, I'll do my best. 1011 01:07:53,611 --> 01:07:57,822 But at my age, the libido is most unpredictable. 1012 01:07:58,074 --> 01:07:59,991 Don't worry about that. 1013 01:08:00,993 --> 01:08:02,243 What did you say? 1014 01:08:02,328 --> 01:08:05,872 Your humble servant, madam, and your eager spouse. 1015 01:08:06,749 --> 01:08:10,835 - That's the best offer I've had all day. - No wonder he's droolin'. 1016 01:08:11,253 --> 01:08:15,715 Listen, you fricasseed Casanova, not her. You're gonna marry apple Annie. 1017 01:08:16,926 --> 01:08:18,802 Apple Annie? 1018 01:08:19,512 --> 01:08:22,764 Even as a jest, that's an insult. 1019 01:08:23,432 --> 01:08:24,599 Junior. 1020 01:08:28,604 --> 01:08:31,231 Apple Annie. Preposterous! 1021 01:08:31,941 --> 01:08:33,942 A creature of the pavements. 1022 01:08:33,984 --> 01:08:36,778 A frowsy hag with the breath of a dragon. 1023 01:08:37,696 --> 01:08:41,241 Sir, despite my larcenous impulses... 1024 01:08:41,492 --> 01:08:43,118 I am a gentleman. 1025 01:08:43,869 --> 01:08:45,411 Good afternoon. 1026 01:08:45,746 --> 01:08:47,622 Good afternoon, Annie. 1027 01:08:51,127 --> 01:08:52,293 Annie? 1028 01:08:52,962 --> 01:08:54,295 That's Annie. 1029 01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,134 Apple Annie? 1030 01:09:00,219 --> 01:09:04,055 The judge was just sayin' how pleased he is to be your ever-lovin' husband. 1031 01:09:04,140 --> 01:09:05,765 Thank you, judge. 1032 01:09:07,726 --> 01:09:09,519 I'm deeply grateful. 1033 01:09:14,900 --> 01:09:17,110 The pleasure, I assure you... 1034 01:09:17,611 --> 01:09:20,155 Dear, kind and charming lady... 1035 01:09:21,073 --> 01:09:22,740 Is entirely mine. 1036 01:09:29,498 --> 01:09:31,416 You're all set now. 1037 01:09:31,500 --> 01:09:34,002 You've got a husband, now you'll go to the boat. 1038 01:09:34,044 --> 01:09:36,546 God bless you, dude. 1039 01:09:36,881 --> 01:09:38,006 Okay. 1040 01:09:39,508 --> 01:09:40,925 Joy boy, let's go. 1041 01:09:41,010 --> 01:09:44,596 You don't want to kill a couple of hours and take some family pictures? 1042 01:09:48,017 --> 01:09:49,100 Sir? 1043 01:09:52,062 --> 01:09:53,688 - What? - Pardon me. 1044 01:09:54,023 --> 01:09:57,942 I will see that everything is done, sir, notwithstanding my cardiac. 1045 01:09:58,027 --> 01:10:00,111 - What? - You can trust me, sir. 1046 01:10:00,196 --> 01:10:02,864 I've had commando training, the boer war, you know. 1047 01:10:02,907 --> 01:10:06,451 I shall need a score of your henchmen, very rugged ones. 1048 01:10:06,535 --> 01:10:08,870 I shall form a hollow square to hold them. 1049 01:10:08,913 --> 01:10:11,456 - What are you talkin' about? - The ship's reporters. 1050 01:10:11,540 --> 01:10:13,583 They interview the arriving celebrities. 1051 01:10:13,667 --> 01:10:16,878 They will want to know from the count why he came to America. 1052 01:10:16,921 --> 01:10:19,756 Holy Toledo. I forgot about the reporters. 1053 01:10:19,882 --> 01:10:22,050 - Why didn't you think of that? - Me? 1054 01:10:22,134 --> 01:10:25,136 Yes, you. Come on, we've gotta round up the boys. 1055 01:10:25,221 --> 01:10:27,263 What time does the ship get in? 1056 01:10:27,556 --> 01:10:29,182 I hope it sinks. 1057 01:10:30,309 --> 01:10:31,726 Take a walk. 1058 01:10:54,792 --> 01:10:56,793 Has she seen the kid yet? 1059 01:10:59,171 --> 01:11:00,922 She's still looking. 1060 01:11:09,139 --> 01:11:12,433 - How do I look? - Beautiful. Like a doll. 1061 01:11:14,436 --> 01:11:16,229 I can hardly believe it. 1062 01:11:16,480 --> 01:11:20,608 In a few minutes, I'll have my baby in my arms. 1063 01:11:27,491 --> 01:11:29,909 - Do you see her yet? - No, not yet. 1064 01:11:31,912 --> 01:11:34,497 Dude, stay close to me. I'm so frightened. 1065 01:11:34,581 --> 01:11:36,499 At least the boat's on time. 1066 01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:40,044 - What about reporters? - Don't worry. 1067 01:11:40,129 --> 01:11:43,631 The dude has woven a chain of missing links around us. 1068 01:11:57,980 --> 01:12:00,148 Look, there's Dave the dude. 1069 01:12:01,108 --> 01:12:03,401 Yeah, with his whole mob. 1070 01:12:07,656 --> 01:12:08,990 Let's stick around. 1071 01:12:09,074 --> 01:12:12,660 I've been waiting 10 years to pin something on that dude. 1072 01:12:28,886 --> 01:12:31,637 There she is! Louise! 1073 01:12:33,766 --> 01:12:35,391 Louise! Darling. 1074 01:13:01,377 --> 01:13:02,752 She saw me. 1075 01:13:03,003 --> 01:13:04,587 She recognized me. 1076 01:13:21,647 --> 01:13:22,897 My baby. 1077 01:13:25,526 --> 01:13:27,151 My Louise. 1078 01:13:30,614 --> 01:13:33,449 I can't believe it, after all these years. 1079 01:13:34,493 --> 01:13:36,369 You're a grown woman. 1080 01:13:37,621 --> 01:13:39,288 And so beautiful. 1081 01:13:40,082 --> 01:13:44,252 Mother, you are, too. I'd have known you anywhere. 1082 01:13:44,628 --> 01:13:46,295 What are they doin' now? 1083 01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:49,424 Huggin' and kissin'. 1084 01:13:49,883 --> 01:13:51,259 Is she happy? 1085 01:13:55,639 --> 01:13:57,348 She's cryin'. 1086 01:14:00,060 --> 01:14:03,312 I want you to meet count Alfonso romero... 1087 01:14:03,397 --> 01:14:06,065 And his son, Carlos romero. My mother. 1088 01:14:07,276 --> 01:14:09,777 - How do you do? - Madam. 1089 01:14:11,530 --> 01:14:13,030 How do you do? 1090 01:14:14,950 --> 01:14:18,161 Darling, this is your stepfather, judge manville. 1091 01:14:19,580 --> 01:14:22,373 Mother's written me so much about you, pa. 1092 01:14:26,336 --> 01:14:29,881 I want you to meet count romero and his son, Carlos. 1093 01:14:30,340 --> 01:14:31,466 How do you do? 1094 01:14:31,550 --> 01:14:34,260 Welcome to the United States of America, my dear count. 1095 01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:37,805 We've looked forward to your visit with considerable relish. 1096 01:14:37,848 --> 01:14:40,600 This is a glorious moment for everybody. 1097 01:14:41,393 --> 01:14:43,978 How stupid of me. 1098 01:14:44,313 --> 01:14:46,939 - Louise, this is your... - Aunt Betty. 1099 01:14:47,232 --> 01:14:49,317 - Aunt Betty. - And Uncle David. 1100 01:14:49,985 --> 01:14:52,236 I never knew I had an aunt and Uncle. 1101 01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:54,697 Yes, David is your father's brother. 1102 01:14:55,908 --> 01:14:57,325 I'm so pleased. 1103 01:14:57,367 --> 01:14:59,911 Mother never wrote a word about you. 1104 01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:03,956 That's because he's always been the black sheep of the family. 1105 01:15:07,127 --> 01:15:10,838 May I present count romero and Carlos romero? 1106 01:15:10,881 --> 01:15:14,342 This is my aunt Betty and my Uncle David. 1107 01:15:14,384 --> 01:15:16,177 - How do you do? - Nice to meet you. 1108 01:15:16,261 --> 01:15:18,429 Please excuse me for a minute. 1109 01:15:18,555 --> 01:15:19,597 Sí. 1110 01:15:20,724 --> 01:15:22,767 I'm the ship news reporter. 1111 01:15:22,851 --> 01:15:25,228 You out looking for somebody? What is it? 1112 01:15:25,312 --> 01:15:27,855 - Are you talking to me? - No, to your aunt tillie. 1113 01:15:27,898 --> 01:15:30,191 They just made me the ship news reporter. 1114 01:15:30,275 --> 01:15:31,359 No kiddin'? 1115 01:15:31,401 --> 01:15:35,071 - I've gotta check the passengers. - There's no passengers on that boat. 1116 01:15:35,155 --> 01:15:37,782 - What do you call those people? - Spanish sailors. 1117 01:15:37,866 --> 01:15:40,201 All Spanish sailors dress like that. 1118 01:15:40,285 --> 01:15:42,537 - What kind of a gag is this? - This is no gag. 1119 01:15:42,621 --> 01:15:45,248 - You've gotta go to pier 4. - Didn't you hear? 1120 01:15:45,332 --> 01:15:48,876 - The Jersey ferry hit an iceberg. - Then it got shot at by submarines. 1121 01:15:48,961 --> 01:15:51,045 - One of ours. - It's a real catastrophe. 1122 01:15:51,088 --> 01:15:52,380 Terrible. 1123 01:15:52,714 --> 01:15:54,465 What are you doing over here? 1124 01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:56,759 Take this gentleman to pier 4 in the Bronx. 1125 01:15:56,843 --> 01:15:59,804 - Pier 4 ain't in the Bronx. - It is. It moved! 1126 01:16:01,682 --> 01:16:05,059 - How many is that? - That's five and we're running outta cars. 1127 01:16:05,185 --> 01:16:08,062 You will wait here while I get count romero. 1128 01:16:10,232 --> 01:16:11,732 Come with me. 1129 01:16:12,192 --> 01:16:13,568 Take a walk. 1130 01:16:16,154 --> 01:16:19,115 I want you to take very good pictures of the count... 1131 01:16:19,199 --> 01:16:21,534 - Can I help you? - I doubt it, sir. 1132 01:16:21,577 --> 01:16:25,037 - I am the Spanish consul and I... - I was just looking for you. 1133 01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:27,081 - You were? - Yes. Immigration. 1134 01:16:27,165 --> 01:16:31,043 We're holding the count on board because of a rare Spanish disease he has. 1135 01:16:31,086 --> 01:16:32,753 - Rare disease? - Afraid so. 1136 01:16:32,796 --> 01:16:35,339 But there is no such thing as Spanish disease. 1137 01:16:35,424 --> 01:16:37,508 - Lieutenant! - Yes, sergeant. 1138 01:16:37,801 --> 01:16:39,677 It's worse than they expected. 1139 01:16:39,761 --> 01:16:42,471 They'll have to take him away in a straitjacket. 1140 01:16:43,098 --> 01:16:46,267 That's ridiculous. I'm sure the consul can straighten things out. 1141 01:16:46,351 --> 01:16:48,436 Take the consul to the count's cabin. 1142 01:16:48,520 --> 01:16:51,772 - Aye-aye. Your honor, this way. - Don't get too close to the count. 1143 01:16:51,857 --> 01:16:56,485 This is fantastic. I'll take this to the secretary of state. 1144 01:16:56,612 --> 01:16:59,447 - I never heard of such a thing. - You should. 1145 01:17:02,534 --> 01:17:05,578 Looks like the dude's got a new swindle going. 1146 01:17:06,288 --> 01:17:10,082 The dude's too smart to pull anything in the open. Let's go. 1147 01:17:10,125 --> 01:17:13,628 Wait a minute. Let's have a little chat with him anyway. 1148 01:17:15,047 --> 01:17:17,131 Gangway. 1149 01:17:18,592 --> 01:17:22,136 Mr. dude, a couple of coppers comin' to put the arm on ya. 1150 01:17:25,807 --> 01:17:27,099 Holy cow. 1151 01:17:27,643 --> 01:17:29,644 Junior, start a brannigan. 1152 01:17:29,728 --> 01:17:31,062 - Sock the weasel. - Sure. 1153 01:17:31,146 --> 01:17:34,815 - Sock the weasel? He's my brother! - Don't argue. Sock the weasel. 1154 01:17:34,900 --> 01:17:36,400 - Hey, weasel? - Yes. 1155 01:17:36,485 --> 01:17:38,569 - How's ma? - Ma's okay. She's all right. 1156 01:17:38,654 --> 01:17:39,737 Good. 1157 01:17:43,992 --> 01:17:46,661 Ma told you not to hit me no more! 1158 01:17:50,540 --> 01:17:51,707 Fight! 1159 01:17:59,383 --> 01:18:01,759 Amscray. A couple of ullbays. 1160 01:18:01,843 --> 01:18:04,512 Folks, I think we'd best be on our way. 1161 01:18:09,601 --> 01:18:10,976 Hi, fellas! 1162 01:18:12,479 --> 01:18:15,773 Boy, have I seen New York in the past four days. 1163 01:18:17,693 --> 01:18:20,611 Boss, queenie said for you to eat these sandwiches. 1164 01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:24,490 - How's tricks with the social mob? - It's goin' so great, I'm scared. 1165 01:18:24,533 --> 01:18:27,076 First thing, breakfast on gold plates. 1166 01:18:27,160 --> 01:18:30,621 Then queenie herds us into the car and we go sightseein' all over. 1167 01:18:30,706 --> 01:18:33,082 Did you know New York was an island? 1168 01:18:37,212 --> 01:18:40,089 - What do ya want? - Ya got pastrami in there? 1169 01:18:40,173 --> 01:18:41,716 Ma thought I was nuts! 1170 01:18:42,092 --> 01:18:46,721 Joy boy, we passed by a zoo, and what do you think I saw? A cow! 1171 01:18:47,556 --> 01:18:49,223 Here's your yogurt. 1172 01:18:49,599 --> 01:18:51,809 Who do you think is buried in grant's tomb? 1173 01:18:51,893 --> 01:18:54,520 Will you leave me alone with the tomb? 1174 01:18:55,272 --> 01:18:57,898 You're sure the count ain't talked to nobody? 1175 01:18:57,941 --> 01:19:00,901 Count romero? He don't get a chance to talk to himself. 1176 01:19:00,986 --> 01:19:03,904 When the judge runs outta gas about cowboys and Indians... 1177 01:19:03,989 --> 01:19:05,990 Queenie sings them the latest songs. 1178 01:19:06,074 --> 01:19:09,577 - Enough already, please don't. - You ain't heard nothin' yet. 1179 01:19:09,619 --> 01:19:12,413 You should see the way Annie looks at her daughter. 1180 01:19:12,497 --> 01:19:14,373 Like she was a banana split. 1181 01:19:14,791 --> 01:19:18,586 Those two kids better get married, or else they're gonna up and bust. 1182 01:19:19,004 --> 01:19:21,130 See? I told you guys. 1183 01:19:22,132 --> 01:19:23,966 Helpin' that old doll... 1184 01:19:24,426 --> 01:19:26,051 It kinda gets me... 1185 01:19:26,595 --> 01:19:27,970 Right here. 1186 01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:30,055 You know what I mean? 1187 01:19:30,390 --> 01:19:34,226 You know, it gets me, too. Only higher. 1188 01:19:35,771 --> 01:19:38,272 I hate to tell you where it gets me. 1189 01:19:39,274 --> 01:19:41,192 And I'm gonna tell you. 1190 01:19:41,735 --> 01:19:45,780 You're playin' with your darts, and you're happy with the bananas... 1191 01:19:45,822 --> 01:19:47,698 But me, I'm scared. 1192 01:19:48,158 --> 01:19:50,785 Three days and nights we're waitin' by the phone. 1193 01:19:50,827 --> 01:19:53,245 Darcey ain't spent a 5 cent nickel for a call. 1194 01:19:53,288 --> 01:19:56,332 You know what that means? I can feel the bullets. 1195 01:19:56,416 --> 01:19:59,168 Darcey's gotta knock us off now, or we're done. 1196 01:19:59,294 --> 01:20:01,378 All right, I don't complain. 1197 01:20:01,546 --> 01:20:04,423 No. You say no bullets, all right. 1198 01:20:04,633 --> 01:20:08,552 You say no guns, all right. No bodyguards, all right. 1199 01:20:08,887 --> 01:20:10,971 You say don't lock the doors, all right. 1200 01:20:11,014 --> 01:20:13,974 Listen, it's crazy, but I've been with you for 10 years. 1201 01:20:14,059 --> 01:20:16,477 I'll go along for the ride. But not this. 1202 01:20:16,561 --> 01:20:19,688 I'm not gonna sit here, sweat, feel hot lead... 1203 01:20:19,773 --> 01:20:23,150 And at the same time, listen to that sugar-coated malarkey... 1204 01:20:23,235 --> 01:20:25,319 About the beggar woman and her daughter! 1205 01:20:25,362 --> 01:20:27,988 That's all, finished, done, goodbye! 1206 01:20:31,910 --> 01:20:33,410 That's darcey. 1207 01:20:34,162 --> 01:20:37,498 I wish I could worry like him, but I don't know how. 1208 01:20:38,166 --> 01:20:39,291 Talk. 1209 01:20:39,584 --> 01:20:41,460 For cryin' out loud... 1210 01:20:42,003 --> 01:20:44,213 It's Annie's Butler... 1211 01:20:44,464 --> 01:20:46,173 The bum from the boer war. 1212 01:20:46,216 --> 01:20:47,508 Now what? 1213 01:20:50,178 --> 01:20:52,471 I'm sorry to trouble you, Mr. dude... 1214 01:20:52,514 --> 01:20:55,683 But the count has asked me to telephone the Spanish consul. 1215 01:20:55,767 --> 01:20:57,935 What does he want to talk to him for? 1216 01:20:58,019 --> 01:20:59,353 I don't know why. 1217 01:20:59,521 --> 01:21:02,690 But I did hear him say that he was tired of sightseeing... 1218 01:21:02,732 --> 01:21:04,608 And wanted to meet some people. 1219 01:21:04,693 --> 01:21:06,360 Joy boy, how's your Spanish? 1220 01:21:06,444 --> 01:21:08,988 As good as my French, and they both stink. 1221 01:21:10,073 --> 01:21:12,867 Junior, did you learn anything from Spanish Lena? 1222 01:21:13,660 --> 01:21:15,536 Spanish Lena was a Hungarian. 1223 01:21:16,496 --> 01:21:19,331 Don't nobody know nothin'? Where's queenie? 1224 01:21:20,083 --> 01:21:22,668 Put the sucker on. I'll fade him myself. 1225 01:21:23,712 --> 01:21:25,045 It's open. 1226 01:21:28,884 --> 01:21:30,634 You're darcey's boys. 1227 01:21:30,802 --> 01:21:33,053 Mr. darcey don't never send boys. 1228 01:21:33,597 --> 01:21:35,556 Mr. darcey wants to see you. 1229 01:21:35,640 --> 01:21:37,808 We were waitin' for his call. 1230 01:21:37,893 --> 01:21:40,060 Why don't you make yourself at home? 1231 01:21:40,103 --> 01:21:41,729 And you were worried. 1232 01:21:41,938 --> 01:21:42,938 Hello? 1233 01:21:49,279 --> 01:21:52,114 Very sorry. Nobody home. 1234 01:21:52,198 --> 01:21:53,866 They all go far away! 1235 01:21:53,950 --> 01:21:56,285 They all go California! 1236 01:21:56,536 --> 01:22:00,664 Lots of sunshine in California. Yes. This Japanese houseboy. 1237 01:22:01,291 --> 01:22:03,083 So sorry, very sorry. 1238 01:22:03,418 --> 01:22:05,419 They're not home. Nobody home. 1239 01:22:05,462 --> 01:22:09,256 Very sorry. No, I'm very sorry. They're not home. Nobody home. 1240 01:22:09,341 --> 01:22:11,550 Just me. Yeah. Okay. Bye-bye. 1241 01:22:14,596 --> 01:22:17,973 That's very good, Mr. moto. Let's go do some business. 1242 01:22:18,058 --> 01:22:19,600 I'll be there in a minute. 1243 01:22:19,643 --> 01:22:22,436 - Where is little switz? - We'll take you personal. 1244 01:22:22,687 --> 01:22:25,648 First, I have a little personal business to attend to. 1245 01:22:25,732 --> 01:22:27,775 I want to stop off and buy my apple. 1246 01:22:27,859 --> 01:22:30,945 You ain't stoppin' nowhere. Mr. darcey's through playin'. Up! 1247 01:22:30,987 --> 01:22:33,113 You, fancy pants, over there. 1248 01:22:33,198 --> 01:22:36,825 You, Mr. apples, over here. Turn around! 1249 01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:39,536 - Up! - All right. 1250 01:22:41,873 --> 01:22:43,666 Your hand's bleedin'. 1251 01:22:45,710 --> 01:22:49,171 - This way, gentlemen. - Tie them and lock them in the bathroom. 1252 01:22:49,255 --> 01:22:51,882 When he gets his apple, we'll be back to pick you up. 1253 01:22:51,967 --> 01:22:53,926 Now, get in there. Move! 1254 01:22:56,638 --> 01:23:00,766 Wait. Lock them in the closet. They may just wax the bathroom floor! 1255 01:23:04,187 --> 01:23:07,731 - Yes, sir? - I am señor cortega, the Spanish consul. 1256 01:23:08,149 --> 01:23:10,359 - The Spanish consul? - Yes. 1257 01:23:11,069 --> 01:23:13,153 Is count romero to be found here? 1258 01:23:13,238 --> 01:23:15,656 I don't believe he's in just now. 1259 01:23:15,699 --> 01:23:18,617 - If you care to leave your card... - Señor cortega? 1260 01:23:19,869 --> 01:23:21,286 Señor conte. 1261 01:23:21,496 --> 01:23:23,914 The count romero will receive you. 1262 01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:29,795 It has been very difficult for me to locate you. 1263 01:23:30,213 --> 01:23:33,966 This is most confusing. I just had your office on the phone. 1264 01:23:34,009 --> 01:23:37,052 And your Japanese houseboy assured me you were out of town. 1265 01:23:37,137 --> 01:23:38,470 - Japanese? - Sí. 1266 01:23:38,513 --> 01:23:41,473 What would I be doing with a Japanese houseboy? 1267 01:23:41,516 --> 01:23:44,643 - That's what we were wondering. - Very strange. 1268 01:23:47,480 --> 01:23:48,647 May I? 1269 01:23:49,315 --> 01:23:50,649 Certainly. 1270 01:23:51,192 --> 01:23:55,529 It is my impression that there's something rather peculiar about this Mrs. manville. 1271 01:23:55,613 --> 01:23:56,864 Peculiar? 1272 01:23:56,948 --> 01:24:01,535 Yes. I phoned several society editors, and they know nothing about her. 1273 01:24:01,870 --> 01:24:04,288 I would be very cautious if I were you. 1274 01:24:04,372 --> 01:24:07,374 - Cautious of what? - I resent these shabby insinuations. 1275 01:24:07,417 --> 01:24:10,377 You did not even come to meet me at the pier. 1276 01:24:11,171 --> 01:24:13,297 But believe me, I was there. 1277 01:24:13,590 --> 01:24:17,509 But an official told me that you were having difficulty with your shots. 1278 01:24:17,552 --> 01:24:18,969 Shots? What shots? 1279 01:24:19,054 --> 01:24:21,513 A gentleman from the immigration service said... 1280 01:24:21,556 --> 01:24:26,143 That you could not land because you had contracted a peculiar disease. 1281 01:24:26,686 --> 01:24:31,106 Later, the ship's captain told me that you were a guest of Mrs. manville. 1282 01:24:31,191 --> 01:24:35,152 Señor, I had no trouble landing. I am in perfect health. 1283 01:24:35,737 --> 01:24:37,738 You are a most confused man. 1284 01:24:37,989 --> 01:24:42,743 When I try to reach you on the phone, I see confusion has spread to your staff. 1285 01:24:43,161 --> 01:24:47,623 When a Japanese listens to a Spanish and answers in a pidgin English. Caramba! 1286 01:24:47,749 --> 01:24:48,916 Señor! 1287 01:24:50,293 --> 01:24:52,419 Give the gentleman his hat. 1288 01:24:56,424 --> 01:24:59,843 Very well. But in taking my leave, let me add only this... 1289 01:24:59,928 --> 01:25:02,471 That in questioning a bellboy in this hotel... 1290 01:25:02,555 --> 01:25:05,390 He assured me that this penthouse is permanently leased... 1291 01:25:05,433 --> 01:25:08,268 By an American novelist named Rodney Kent. 1292 01:25:08,603 --> 01:25:11,438 Is this the way our diplomats conduct our affairs? 1293 01:25:11,523 --> 01:25:14,608 - Questioning bellboys in hotels? - Good day, sir. 1294 01:25:15,026 --> 01:25:18,112 This episode will raise some eyebrows in Madrid. 1295 01:25:19,489 --> 01:25:21,323 - Rodney Kent. - Ridiculous. 1296 01:25:21,407 --> 01:25:24,451 For years, Louise has been in correspondence with her mother... 1297 01:25:24,494 --> 01:25:25,911 At this very hotel. 1298 01:25:25,954 --> 01:25:27,454 If I may, sir? 1299 01:25:27,789 --> 01:25:29,289 - Sí. - Thank you. 1300 01:25:30,166 --> 01:25:32,751 - Rodney Kent does live here. - What? 1301 01:25:33,044 --> 01:25:34,795 In these books, sir. 1302 01:25:35,171 --> 01:25:36,213 See? 1303 01:25:36,297 --> 01:25:38,298 Pulitzer prize winner. 1304 01:25:39,759 --> 01:25:43,220 Judge manville writes under that name... 1305 01:25:44,848 --> 01:25:47,099 After the fashion of Mr. mark twain. 1306 01:25:47,142 --> 01:25:49,810 - And o. Henry, father. - O. Henry? 1307 01:25:50,103 --> 01:25:51,436 Sí, señor. 1308 01:25:52,689 --> 01:25:55,232 I trust this confidence will be respected. 1309 01:25:55,316 --> 01:25:57,151 - Of course. - Thank you. 1310 01:25:57,861 --> 01:26:00,237 Tea is served, sir, on the terrace. 1311 01:26:01,489 --> 01:26:03,365 What are we gonna do after tea? 1312 01:26:03,449 --> 01:26:05,826 What does count romero like to do most of all? 1313 01:26:05,869 --> 01:26:09,496 - He rides a bicycle a great deal. - Six-day bicycle races. 1314 01:26:09,998 --> 01:26:12,166 Great. I'll call for tickets. 1315 01:26:13,084 --> 01:26:15,752 Dear count, I'm gonna have such a surprise for you. 1316 01:26:15,837 --> 01:26:18,172 We decided what we'll do for the rest of the day. 1317 01:26:18,256 --> 01:26:20,841 The six-day bicycle races at Madison square garden. 1318 01:26:20,884 --> 01:26:22,301 We'll not be here for... 1319 01:26:22,343 --> 01:26:25,721 Hello, everybody. Just dropped by to say hello. Hello, Carlos. 1320 01:26:25,805 --> 01:26:30,184 And buy one of your delicious apples. 1321 01:26:30,643 --> 01:26:31,768 Here we are. 1322 01:26:31,853 --> 01:26:35,355 You see, count, it's sort of a family joke. You know how it is. 1323 01:26:35,398 --> 01:26:38,400 I always feel that these apples bring me luck. 1324 01:26:39,360 --> 01:26:40,903 What a charming idea. 1325 01:26:40,987 --> 01:26:43,363 I have same feeling about onions. 1326 01:26:44,574 --> 01:26:46,200 What is it, hutchings? 1327 01:26:46,242 --> 01:26:49,578 Your honor, a journalist to see you, sir. Second call. 1328 01:26:49,662 --> 01:26:51,580 That's who that guy is, a reporter. 1329 01:26:51,664 --> 01:26:55,167 What provoked the curiosity in this wretched scribe? 1330 01:26:55,460 --> 01:26:58,921 - He requests a biography of Mrs. manville. - Absurd! 1331 01:26:59,214 --> 01:27:02,174 Brother David, perhaps you can handle this inquisitor. 1332 01:27:02,217 --> 01:27:05,719 Don't worry about a thing, judge. Everything's taken care of. 1333 01:27:12,602 --> 01:27:16,021 - What's the pitch, brisbane? - From the society desk at the star. 1334 01:27:16,064 --> 01:27:18,815 I want to do a feature on Mrs. e. Worthington manville. 1335 01:27:18,900 --> 01:27:21,318 I checked the social register. She's not listed. 1336 01:27:21,402 --> 01:27:23,487 - Not in the register? - Or the phone book. 1337 01:27:23,571 --> 01:27:26,448 - I even checked the yellow pages. - You look under "m"? 1338 01:27:26,532 --> 01:27:30,285 Look, I'm tired. The Spanish consul called my editor and... 1339 01:27:30,620 --> 01:27:34,039 - Say, aren't you Dave the dude? - What's he talkin' about? 1340 01:27:34,082 --> 01:27:37,000 Sure. I've seen you around queenie Martin's club. 1341 01:27:37,085 --> 01:27:40,379 You know, buddy, you're wastin' your time with society news. 1342 01:27:40,421 --> 01:27:44,258 You could be a great big reporter and we could give you a great big story. 1343 01:27:44,300 --> 01:27:46,093 We'll give you a big story. 1344 01:27:46,135 --> 01:27:49,179 But we better go someplace we won't be disturbed, right? 1345 01:27:49,264 --> 01:27:50,847 We can't be disturbed. 1346 01:27:51,349 --> 01:27:53,267 Will you step this way? 1347 01:27:53,977 --> 01:27:55,519 Right this way. 1348 01:28:01,025 --> 01:28:02,818 No more sightseeing. 1349 01:28:03,027 --> 01:28:04,695 No more buildings. 1350 01:28:05,238 --> 01:28:07,823 Mrs. manville, I have come to know... 1351 01:28:08,574 --> 01:28:12,286 Your daughter that well, that I love her like father. 1352 01:28:14,080 --> 01:28:15,289 Thanks. 1353 01:28:15,623 --> 01:28:16,790 Thank you. 1354 01:28:17,500 --> 01:28:20,669 So, I wish to announce I will be greatly honored... 1355 01:28:21,087 --> 01:28:25,132 If your daughter will accept the proposal of my son in marriage. 1356 01:28:26,509 --> 01:28:28,552 Congratulations, Carlos! 1357 01:28:28,636 --> 01:28:30,721 This is a great, historic moment. 1358 01:28:30,805 --> 01:28:34,057 The union of our two families, the montagues and the capulets. 1359 01:28:34,142 --> 01:28:37,894 My dear count, this calls for a real celebration. 1360 01:28:38,021 --> 01:28:40,314 That is exactly what I was coming to. 1361 01:28:40,398 --> 01:28:42,607 It would give me the greatest pleasure... 1362 01:28:42,650 --> 01:28:46,653 To announce the engagement, officially, at a reception... 1363 01:28:46,988 --> 01:28:49,531 For a few of your intimate friends. 1364 01:28:52,160 --> 01:28:53,493 Reception? 1365 01:28:54,370 --> 01:28:55,787 With people? 1366 01:28:56,497 --> 01:28:58,498 - Sí. - Father. 1367 01:28:59,667 --> 01:29:03,170 Relax and enjoy yourself, newsboy. You're livin' at the marberry. 1368 01:29:03,212 --> 01:29:05,130 It was nice meetin' you. 1369 01:29:06,466 --> 01:29:08,342 Watch your diction. 1370 01:29:10,678 --> 01:29:12,804 The reporter is all taken care of. 1371 01:29:12,847 --> 01:29:16,516 Uncle David, congratulate us. Carlos and I are engaged. 1372 01:29:17,268 --> 01:29:20,479 Well, you're a lucky man, Carlos. Congratulations. 1373 01:29:20,688 --> 01:29:22,064 Brother David. 1374 01:29:22,148 --> 01:29:25,525 I told the good count we'd make the announcement at the reception. 1375 01:29:25,610 --> 01:29:27,944 Fine! I'll see you folks around. 1376 01:29:32,325 --> 01:29:33,658 Reception? 1377 01:29:34,369 --> 01:29:35,619 What reception? 1378 01:29:36,245 --> 01:29:39,164 The count wants to meet some of our friends. 1379 01:29:41,626 --> 01:29:44,044 A modest affair, nothing elaborate. 1380 01:29:44,128 --> 01:29:47,214 Just the intimate friends of the parents of the bride. 1381 01:29:47,256 --> 01:29:50,592 About 100 people did you say, judge? 1382 01:29:51,928 --> 01:29:54,054 100 friends? 1383 01:29:54,722 --> 01:29:57,224 You're the only one who can handle it. 1384 01:29:57,600 --> 01:30:01,937 - I must tell aunt Betty at once. - Aunt Betty will be the first to know. 1385 01:30:03,022 --> 01:30:05,565 Brother Henry, would you come along with me? 1386 01:30:05,608 --> 01:30:07,901 I think we have to make out the list. 1387 01:30:12,281 --> 01:30:16,660 Mrs. manville, I hope there's enough time for the preparations. 1388 01:30:18,830 --> 01:30:21,790 Why, you two-bit pool hustler. Sit down! 1389 01:30:22,166 --> 01:30:24,751 I told you not to get used to this kind of high living. 1390 01:30:24,836 --> 01:30:26,545 Mercy! It was the count's idea. 1391 01:30:26,587 --> 01:30:29,172 - I ought to belt him. - Now, godfather! 1392 01:30:29,257 --> 01:30:31,550 Do you know what this windbag's got us into? 1393 01:30:31,592 --> 01:30:33,885 A reception for 100 people! 1394 01:30:38,933 --> 01:30:43,061 - Where do you think you're goin'? - I'm fleeing from armageddon, sir. 1395 01:30:43,104 --> 01:30:47,274 With my cardiac condition, I just cannot take unhappy endings. 1396 01:30:47,442 --> 01:30:49,306 So I'm off to join Mr. Kent in havana, sir. 1397 01:30:49,319 --> 01:30:51,194 With two broken legs? 1398 01:30:51,446 --> 01:30:53,697 My legs, sir? They're quite... 1399 01:30:56,826 --> 01:30:59,119 Very cleverly put, sir. Yes. 1400 01:30:59,287 --> 01:31:01,538 Thank you, sir. Not at all. 1401 01:31:11,299 --> 01:31:12,424 You! 1402 01:31:16,179 --> 01:31:18,138 You'll break the poor lady's heart. 1403 01:31:18,181 --> 01:31:21,933 Tell me, please. Why didn't you stop this before it got started? 1404 01:31:22,226 --> 01:31:23,310 There you are. 1405 01:31:23,394 --> 01:31:24,895 So we gotta throw a party. 1406 01:31:24,979 --> 01:31:28,023 What's so difficult about herding up a bunch of freeloaders? 1407 01:31:28,107 --> 01:31:29,441 Society freeloaders. 1408 01:31:29,484 --> 01:31:31,902 The count expects 100 of the 400. 1409 01:31:31,986 --> 01:31:34,529 The only people Annie knows come from sewers. 1410 01:31:34,614 --> 01:31:37,657 Which reminds me, you got a pair of sewer rats in the closet. 1411 01:31:37,700 --> 01:31:40,160 Holy mackerel. Darcey's mugs. I forgot about them. 1412 01:31:40,244 --> 01:31:42,621 The weasel took over Annie's place, so I'm here. 1413 01:31:42,663 --> 01:31:45,999 Will somebody please tell me how I got into this pot? 1414 01:31:46,083 --> 01:31:47,844 I didn't wanna be dealt in in the first place. 1415 01:31:47,857 --> 01:31:49,628 You suckered me into this. 1416 01:31:49,670 --> 01:31:53,590 As long as I was mindin' my own business in my own racket, everything was fine. 1417 01:31:53,674 --> 01:31:56,009 Never in a jam. But then I had to help somebody. 1418 01:31:56,093 --> 01:31:59,679 Had to be the big man. And will you look at me now? 1419 01:32:00,139 --> 01:32:02,307 I got listenin' to this old dame's life. 1420 01:32:02,350 --> 01:32:06,520 I got a couple of hatchet men stashed away in that closet in there. 1421 01:32:06,604 --> 01:32:08,605 I got a reporter up in the penthouse. 1422 01:32:08,689 --> 01:32:11,983 - You got three reporters in the penthouse. - Three? 1423 01:32:12,276 --> 01:32:15,237 After you left, two more showed up, so we bagged them. 1424 01:32:15,321 --> 01:32:18,532 That's kidnapping. You know what the papers'll do to us? 1425 01:32:19,158 --> 01:32:22,452 Does it still kinda get you a little bit right here? 1426 01:32:23,663 --> 01:32:27,332 - The Butler says there's enough food. - That's it. That's enough. 1427 01:32:27,375 --> 01:32:30,794 You, junior, go get those darcey orangutans in here, now. 1428 01:32:31,045 --> 01:32:33,421 I like that Butler. Calls me sir. Bows to me. 1429 01:32:33,506 --> 01:32:35,632 Makes you feel like a broad. 1430 01:32:38,302 --> 01:32:41,805 You go take care of those reporters till I get back and square the beef. 1431 01:32:41,889 --> 01:32:46,017 And you go tell your friend Annie to take her business around the corner... 1432 01:32:46,060 --> 01:32:48,520 Because I am through, I am finished. 1433 01:32:49,105 --> 01:32:52,649 Oh, boy. And just when you were starting to act like a human. 1434 01:32:52,733 --> 01:32:56,152 You got 30 seconds till I pick you up and throw you out. 1435 01:32:56,362 --> 01:32:59,614 You know, some people toss charity balls for homeless cats. 1436 01:32:59,699 --> 01:33:02,325 They even build zoos so wild animals live good. 1437 01:33:02,410 --> 01:33:04,619 - You get arrested if you whip a horse. - Ten. 1438 01:33:04,704 --> 01:33:07,038 Good people help. What are we? 1439 01:33:07,248 --> 01:33:10,250 Did we ever build a bridge or plant a seed? 1440 01:33:10,334 --> 01:33:11,293 Twenty. 1441 01:33:11,377 --> 01:33:12,502 We're nothing. 1442 01:33:12,587 --> 01:33:15,422 We're all a bunch of grabbers, lookin' for the best of it. 1443 01:33:15,464 --> 01:33:18,133 Once, couldn't we help somebody just to help somebody? 1444 01:33:18,217 --> 01:33:21,344 That's it! You're through! We're gonna help somebody. 1445 01:33:21,470 --> 01:33:24,639 We are going to help me. That's who we're gonna help. 1446 01:33:24,765 --> 01:33:27,684 I'm gonna make any deal that darcey wants, any kind. 1447 01:33:27,768 --> 01:33:30,270 - Unless we've blown the deal already. - Hallelujah! 1448 01:33:30,313 --> 01:33:33,773 I'm gonna drink to you. That's my first in five years. 1449 01:33:35,359 --> 01:33:39,112 Do I infer you're stranding poor Annie on the rocky beach of despair? 1450 01:33:39,238 --> 01:33:42,616 I've had just about enough of your hot air. You, out! 1451 01:33:43,117 --> 01:33:46,244 And you, out! Both of you, out! That's it. 1452 01:33:46,370 --> 01:33:48,455 Out! School's out! Everybody out! 1453 01:33:49,123 --> 01:33:52,000 Uncle David, I hope we're not interrupting anything. 1454 01:33:52,084 --> 01:33:53,126 Louise. 1455 01:33:53,210 --> 01:33:54,794 - Aunt Betty. - Darling. 1456 01:33:54,879 --> 01:33:57,297 Uncle David was just telling me the good news. 1457 01:33:57,381 --> 01:33:59,924 My heartiest congratulations, Carlos. 1458 01:33:59,967 --> 01:34:03,136 - Thank you. I hope we're not intruding. - Not at all! 1459 01:34:03,429 --> 01:34:05,639 You're a breath of eternal spring, my boy. 1460 01:34:05,723 --> 01:34:07,307 We were just taking a walk... 1461 01:34:07,350 --> 01:34:10,518 And Carlos had the most wonderful, sweetest idea. 1462 01:34:11,103 --> 01:34:12,479 What is it? 1463 01:34:12,688 --> 01:34:16,316 - No. This is not the time or the place. - Of course it is. 1464 01:34:16,567 --> 01:34:19,319 He thinks the world of you, Uncle David. 1465 01:34:19,445 --> 01:34:21,488 - Louise. - What is it? 1466 01:34:22,782 --> 01:34:26,993 - Well, sir, I, that is, Louise and I... - Yes. 1467 01:34:27,328 --> 01:34:30,580 We would be most pleased if, when the time comes... 1468 01:34:31,207 --> 01:34:35,210 You will consent to be godfather to our first child. 1469 01:34:48,641 --> 01:34:50,642 He'd be delighted! 1470 01:34:50,851 --> 01:34:54,062 Uncle David's already an experienced godfather. 1471 01:34:54,146 --> 01:34:56,481 Uncle David, I love you so much. 1472 01:34:56,899 --> 01:34:59,401 Thank you, señor. I'm very honored. 1473 01:34:59,860 --> 01:35:01,528 My family's very honored. 1474 01:35:01,821 --> 01:35:04,364 If it's a boy, we'll name him after you. 1475 01:35:04,865 --> 01:35:07,575 We cannot take up any more of their time. Thank you. 1476 01:35:07,660 --> 01:35:11,329 I'm sure you have a lot to do, arranging the reception on such short notice. 1477 01:35:11,372 --> 01:35:12,956 - Bye-bye. - Goodbye. 1478 01:35:15,126 --> 01:35:16,876 About 100 people, you said? 1479 01:35:16,961 --> 01:35:20,588 Not just people, but citizens of style and grace. 1480 01:35:20,673 --> 01:35:24,217 And this above all: Daisies who won't tell. 1481 01:35:24,677 --> 01:35:25,927 Dude's gang! 1482 01:35:27,847 --> 01:35:30,974 There's a bunch of daisies that wouldn't dare squeal. 1483 01:35:31,058 --> 01:35:32,839 In the right clothes, they'd pass for kings. 1484 01:35:32,852 --> 01:35:34,644 They would? 1485 01:35:34,729 --> 01:35:38,314 Look at Annie. The count fell for her, and you and me, too. 1486 01:35:38,399 --> 01:35:41,735 And Carlos thinks the dude is a young Abe Lincoln. 1487 01:35:46,532 --> 01:35:50,702 The count even swallowed joy boy, and I can do better than that in a pet shop. 1488 01:35:52,413 --> 01:35:55,665 If you weren't a broad, I'd kick you right in the stomach. 1489 01:35:55,750 --> 01:35:58,209 And my old chorus girls! 1490 01:35:58,252 --> 01:36:02,297 They'd make the most glamorous society queens this town's ever seen! 1491 01:36:02,381 --> 01:36:05,675 Indeed, why not? The world goes round in make-believe! 1492 01:36:05,760 --> 01:36:07,218 Take Louie the lug: 1493 01:36:07,261 --> 01:36:10,180 A carnation in his buttonhole, he looks like grover whalen. 1494 01:36:10,264 --> 01:36:13,266 And the weasel, wouldn't he make a great secretary of war? 1495 01:36:13,309 --> 01:36:17,395 The weasel, secretary of war? No. He don't rate no more than an alderman. 1496 01:36:17,938 --> 01:36:19,022 Dude! 1497 01:36:19,106 --> 01:36:22,859 The weasel'd make as good a secretary of war as anyone you can name. 1498 01:36:22,943 --> 01:36:25,069 No. I think he'd rate an alderman. 1499 01:36:25,154 --> 01:36:27,864 That's craziness. You're getting hooked again. 1500 01:36:27,948 --> 01:36:31,159 You know what you almost had me do? You almost had me walkin' out... 1501 01:36:31,243 --> 01:36:34,704 On poor little old apple Annie. All right, call your broads. 1502 01:36:34,789 --> 01:36:39,334 Judge, call boyle's poolroom. I know you have that number. I'll call the... 1503 01:36:41,337 --> 01:36:43,004 Round everybody up! 1504 01:36:44,381 --> 01:36:48,009 They was knotted real tight! Good thing I was a boy scout! 1505 01:36:48,093 --> 01:36:50,303 Mr. darcey ain't gonna like this. 1506 01:36:50,387 --> 01:36:52,972 You tell Mr. darcey he's got a deal, but on my terms. 1507 01:36:53,057 --> 01:36:55,266 He delivers me $100,000 cash. 1508 01:36:55,559 --> 01:36:59,729 And no more of you popgun monkeys, or I ain't gonna like it. Hit the sidewalk! 1509 01:36:59,814 --> 01:37:02,690 Would you kindly connect me with Harry the horse? 1510 01:37:03,192 --> 01:37:05,819 Honey, forget the house party. I need you now. 1511 01:37:06,028 --> 01:37:09,906 Cheesecake, roust out the boys and take 'em to a turkish bath, will ya? 1512 01:37:10,032 --> 01:37:12,742 What do you think for? A bath, you jerk. 1513 01:37:13,327 --> 01:37:16,329 Joy boy, get a hold of what's his name, rosy, the suit man. 1514 01:37:16,372 --> 01:37:20,250 That's a good idea. I'll have him measure you all for straitjackets! 1515 01:37:28,175 --> 01:37:31,219 I gave my love a cherry 1516 01:37:32,179 --> 01:37:35,682 without no stone 1517 01:37:37,101 --> 01:37:40,353 I gave my love a chicken 1518 01:37:40,771 --> 01:37:44,440 without no bone 1519 01:37:46,527 --> 01:37:54,534 I gave my love a ring that had no end 1520 01:37:55,911 --> 01:38:00,456 I gave my love a baby 1521 01:38:01,458 --> 01:38:05,503 with no cryin' 1522 01:38:07,715 --> 01:38:12,010 I threw Carlos a flower 1523 01:38:12,553 --> 01:38:16,681 and blushed a smile 1524 01:38:17,057 --> 01:38:21,644 my love threw me the autumn moon 1525 01:38:21,896 --> 01:38:26,482 and laughed a mile 1526 01:38:27,985 --> 01:38:32,488 I gave my love a heart of love 1527 01:38:32,698 --> 01:38:36,993 wrapped up in pink and blue 1528 01:38:38,245 --> 01:38:42,916 I'll give my love a baby 1529 01:38:44,585 --> 01:38:49,255 who'll look like you 1530 01:38:51,425 --> 01:38:53,217 keep singing, please. 1531 01:38:53,385 --> 01:38:55,428 No, Carlos, it's your turn. 1532 01:38:55,512 --> 01:38:56,554 I'm busy. 1533 01:38:56,639 --> 01:38:58,765 Please, the wedding poem. You promised. 1534 01:38:58,807 --> 01:39:01,809 - Keep still. I'm not finished. - You'll have to at the wedding. 1535 01:39:01,894 --> 01:39:05,271 Your father told me that every romero for 1,000 years has had to do it. 1536 01:39:05,314 --> 01:39:09,150 - All because some silly ancestor wrote it. - I love it. Please? 1537 01:39:09,610 --> 01:39:11,986 You interrupt people at the oddest moments. 1538 01:39:12,071 --> 01:39:13,279 Please? 1539 01:39:15,240 --> 01:39:17,325 I hope nobody is listening. 1540 01:39:21,246 --> 01:39:23,122 "For her 1541 01:39:23,290 --> 01:39:27,210 "for whom I would walk through fire 1542 01:39:27,795 --> 01:39:30,380 "the great cathedral's heavenly choir 1543 01:39:30,631 --> 01:39:34,258 "sings God's angelic music 1544 01:39:35,970 --> 01:39:39,222 "be still, my racing heart 1545 01:39:39,306 --> 01:39:41,641 "she is floating toward me 1546 01:39:41,725 --> 01:39:43,935 "as a winged melody 1547 01:39:44,603 --> 01:39:47,188 "I burst with a Spanish pride 1548 01:39:47,648 --> 01:39:50,733 "a thousand eyes, all moist and dewy 1549 01:39:51,276 --> 01:39:53,528 "share the lovely vision 1550 01:39:55,072 --> 01:39:56,364 "behold! 1551 01:39:57,491 --> 01:39:58,825 "My bride!" 1552 01:40:18,262 --> 01:40:20,179 - Mother. - Mrs. manville. 1553 01:40:21,849 --> 01:40:25,143 - I was lonely for you. - It is my fault, please. 1554 01:40:25,853 --> 01:40:29,313 I have a lifetime with Louise, and you, only two days. 1555 01:40:29,898 --> 01:40:32,066 I will see you later, mother. 1556 01:40:34,069 --> 01:40:36,654 You do not mind my calling you mother? 1557 01:40:36,864 --> 01:40:38,239 I'd like that... 1558 01:40:38,699 --> 01:40:39,782 Son. 1559 01:40:41,035 --> 01:40:42,368 Thank you... 1560 01:40:43,454 --> 01:40:44,662 Mother. 1561 01:40:50,335 --> 01:40:52,545 You do love him, don't you? 1562 01:40:53,422 --> 01:40:55,548 So much it must show, mama. 1563 01:40:57,009 --> 01:40:59,552 Today, when we were walking along Broadway... 1564 01:40:59,595 --> 01:41:03,514 A little old flower peddler, a deaf-and-dumb lady, gave me this. 1565 01:41:03,640 --> 01:41:07,393 She insisted I take it and refused to accept a penny for it. 1566 01:41:09,313 --> 01:41:11,606 Mama, life is wonderful, isn't it? 1567 01:41:11,690 --> 01:41:13,149 Yes, baby. 1568 01:41:21,283 --> 01:41:24,202 You don't think anything can happen, do you? 1569 01:41:25,871 --> 01:41:26,913 Happen? 1570 01:41:27,414 --> 01:41:29,332 I'm foolish, I suppose. 1571 01:41:30,167 --> 01:41:32,627 Maybe it's because I'm wishing so hard. 1572 01:41:32,711 --> 01:41:36,089 Mama, have you ever wished for something so hard that... 1573 01:41:36,131 --> 01:41:38,424 Nothing's going to happen. 1574 01:41:39,968 --> 01:41:41,219 Nothing. 1575 01:41:52,856 --> 01:41:56,275 - Capt. Moore to see you, inspector. - Send him right in! 1576 01:41:57,444 --> 01:42:01,239 - Anything on the missing reporters? - Nothing, inspector. Not a thing. 1577 01:42:01,824 --> 01:42:05,451 The newspapers are crucifying us. You hear winchell last night? 1578 01:42:05,786 --> 01:42:08,454 - Yeah? - The commissioner's on the phone. 1579 01:42:08,580 --> 01:42:11,165 There he is again. Fourth time today. 1580 01:42:11,917 --> 01:42:13,292 Hello, commissioner. 1581 01:42:13,377 --> 01:42:16,629 No, but I've got capt. Moore in my office right now. 1582 01:42:16,713 --> 01:42:18,172 No, not a thing yet. 1583 01:42:18,340 --> 01:42:19,924 What do you mean? 1584 01:42:19,967 --> 01:42:23,136 I'm not gonna be made the goat for the whole department! 1585 01:42:24,304 --> 01:42:26,514 - What is it? - The mayor's on the phone. 1586 01:42:26,598 --> 01:42:30,017 - Didn't you tell him I was out? - He didn't believe it. 1587 01:42:31,061 --> 01:42:32,687 Hold on a minute. 1588 01:42:33,897 --> 01:42:35,648 Hello? Yeah, chief. 1589 01:42:36,066 --> 01:42:38,818 No, I was just talking to mccrary. Not a thing yet. 1590 01:42:38,902 --> 01:42:41,946 "Not a thing"? I've had a super-sufficiency of "not a thing." 1591 01:42:41,989 --> 01:42:44,073 I want some action quickly. 1592 01:42:44,158 --> 01:42:46,325 Every editor in town is in my office. 1593 01:42:46,410 --> 01:42:49,537 You're going to get a front-page editorial in my paper... 1594 01:42:49,621 --> 01:42:51,414 Every day till something's done. 1595 01:42:51,498 --> 01:42:55,626 It is a very embarrassing situation when a reporter is not safe on our streets. 1596 01:42:55,669 --> 01:42:58,504 If the city can't do anything, perhaps the state can. 1597 01:42:58,589 --> 01:43:01,340 When the governor gets here, we'll take it up with him. 1598 01:43:01,383 --> 01:43:04,510 I want you to find those three reporters, commissioner... 1599 01:43:04,553 --> 01:43:07,263 Or I will be forced to demand your resignation. 1600 01:43:10,309 --> 01:43:12,185 Hello. You get this straight! 1601 01:43:12,227 --> 01:43:16,063 You find those three reporters, or I'll have to get myself another boy. 1602 01:43:18,108 --> 01:43:21,027 I'm giving you 24 hours to find those missing reporters! 1603 01:43:21,069 --> 01:43:25,072 If you can't, you'll find yourself on the other end of a broom at the horse barn! 1604 01:43:25,157 --> 01:43:26,532 And that's no... 1605 01:43:27,409 --> 01:43:28,982 What is it? 1606 01:43:28,995 --> 01:43:30,578 I think we have an angle on the reporters. 1607 01:43:30,662 --> 01:43:31,871 Speak up, son. 1608 01:43:31,955 --> 01:43:33,581 A funny thing happened. 1609 01:43:33,665 --> 01:43:36,792 Last Saturday, I met one of the boats to check the passenger list. 1610 01:43:36,877 --> 01:43:39,212 A couple guys grabbed me and shoved me in a car. 1611 01:43:39,296 --> 01:43:41,964 - Why didn't you report it sooner? - They didn't hurt me. 1612 01:43:42,049 --> 01:43:44,759 Just drove me around the Bronx then gave me taxi money. 1613 01:43:44,843 --> 01:43:47,386 - When I read about those... - Any idea who grabbed him? 1614 01:43:47,471 --> 01:43:48,512 Not exactly. 1615 01:43:48,555 --> 01:43:53,100 But the men working the piers saw Dave the dude there meeting some people. 1616 01:43:53,185 --> 01:43:55,937 - With his whole mob. - Dave the dude. 1617 01:43:57,189 --> 01:44:01,067 It's not much, but we begin to look like a police department. 1618 01:44:01,485 --> 01:44:04,111 Captain, you'd better put a tail on the dude. 1619 01:44:04,196 --> 01:44:06,489 - There could be a connection. - Yes, sir. 1620 01:44:12,246 --> 01:44:15,414 These are great. A few more speeches and we'll have it covered. 1621 01:44:15,457 --> 01:44:18,709 As Jimmy durante says: "I've got a million of them." 1622 01:44:18,752 --> 01:44:22,922 "My dear count, isn't it a pleasure meeting up with you tonight..." 1623 01:44:27,511 --> 01:44:31,639 - All right, hold it everybody. - Quiet! 1624 01:44:31,723 --> 01:44:33,933 Listen, will you? One thing at time. 1625 01:44:34,017 --> 01:44:37,144 Queenie, take your broads over there. Guys, I want to talk to you. 1626 01:44:37,229 --> 01:44:40,106 Guys over here, broads over there! Let's move it. Come on. 1627 01:44:40,190 --> 01:44:43,609 Move it! Let's go, we ain't got all night. Come here, now. 1628 01:44:43,652 --> 01:44:46,654 I want to tell you somethin'. You got to remember somethin'. 1629 01:44:46,738 --> 01:44:49,532 You're not a bunch of bums, see? You're a bunch of gents. 1630 01:44:49,616 --> 01:44:52,451 You got to make them stop with the pistols. 1631 01:44:52,536 --> 01:44:54,745 They're making holes in the lining. 1632 01:44:54,788 --> 01:44:58,082 I told you to tell them to leave the rods home. How many times... 1633 01:44:58,125 --> 01:45:00,668 - Weasel, I told you, "no rods!" - Yeah, no rods. 1634 01:45:00,752 --> 01:45:03,254 If we don't behave ourselves and act like gents... 1635 01:45:03,297 --> 01:45:06,674 We'll bollox the whole schmeer up tomorrow night and then that's it. 1636 01:45:06,758 --> 01:45:09,927 You all got the speeches the judge wrote for you? 1637 01:45:09,970 --> 01:45:12,305 You know who you are? I don't have to tell you? 1638 01:45:12,389 --> 01:45:15,808 - All right, who are you? - Governor of the state of utta. 1639 01:45:15,851 --> 01:45:19,770 - State of what? No, state of Utah. - Utah, metah... 1640 01:45:19,896 --> 01:45:24,317 Will you read the speech the way the judge give it to you? Please? 1641 01:45:24,484 --> 01:45:26,944 Don't yak too much. Just smile all the time. 1642 01:45:26,987 --> 01:45:29,113 That'll get you by anybody, even kings. 1643 01:45:29,156 --> 01:45:33,659 Kings, yeah. But these mugs, you smile at them, you got a hand on the knee. 1644 01:45:34,077 --> 01:45:38,289 You've had so many hands on your knees, dearie, you wear gloves for stockings. 1645 01:45:39,333 --> 01:45:42,585 Dude! If any of your "he's" make passes at my "she's..." 1646 01:45:42,836 --> 01:45:46,297 - No passes! - Hear that? No passes. 1647 01:45:46,340 --> 01:45:50,176 - No passes? What a party pooper. - I don't want to hear no more from you. 1648 01:45:50,260 --> 01:45:52,887 Dude, this ain't a good speech the judge give me. 1649 01:45:52,971 --> 01:45:54,805 Are you handicappin' speeches now? 1650 01:45:54,848 --> 01:45:56,275 This count's an out-of-town guy, ain't he? 1651 01:45:56,288 --> 01:45:57,725 Yeah, so what? 1652 01:45:57,809 --> 01:46:00,770 All I tell him is he's lucky for meeting up with apple Annie. 1653 01:46:00,854 --> 01:46:03,272 Do you wanna tell him you'll fix him up with dames? 1654 01:46:03,357 --> 01:46:06,150 - Just read the speech like he gave you. - Practice! 1655 01:46:08,987 --> 01:46:11,697 Hey, cheesecake, tell them to be quiet, will you? 1656 01:46:11,740 --> 01:46:15,785 - Quiet down, you guys! - Quiet! Will you please be quiet? 1657 01:46:15,869 --> 01:46:18,204 What's the matter? Why ain't you practicin'? 1658 01:46:18,246 --> 01:46:20,748 - I been practicin', only... - Only what? 1659 01:46:20,832 --> 01:46:24,835 I'm as good as Louie the lug is any day. If he's ambassador, I oughta be a king. 1660 01:46:24,878 --> 01:46:28,089 You're secretary of the interior. That's bigger than an ambassador. 1661 01:46:28,173 --> 01:46:31,717 I ain't as dumb as you think. A secretary is a secretary. 1662 01:46:32,386 --> 01:46:36,722 All right, brain. I'll make ya the postmaster, all right? 1663 01:46:37,057 --> 01:46:39,392 That's more like it. I save stamps! 1664 01:46:40,018 --> 01:46:42,061 Judge, you got a new postmaster here. 1665 01:46:42,145 --> 01:46:43,145 Check! 1666 01:46:43,230 --> 01:46:45,064 - Come here. - What do you want? 1667 01:46:45,107 --> 01:46:47,900 Give the speech to him now. You're the count. Go ahead. 1668 01:46:47,984 --> 01:46:50,569 I thought I was the governor of Florida. 1669 01:46:50,654 --> 01:46:54,073 Will you just please pretend you're the count for a minute? 1670 01:46:54,157 --> 01:46:55,950 All right, go ahead, shoot. 1671 01:46:56,076 --> 01:46:57,743 Count, your honor... 1672 01:46:58,745 --> 01:47:01,205 It's a rare privy... 1673 01:47:03,792 --> 01:47:06,669 What're you talkin' about? "It's a rare privilege," jackass! 1674 01:47:06,753 --> 01:47:08,671 Does it say that? 1675 01:47:09,423 --> 01:47:12,341 I didn't think I was supposed to call him a jackass. 1676 01:47:12,426 --> 01:47:16,095 You're givin' me a headache, you know that? Get away from me. 1677 01:47:16,179 --> 01:47:18,681 - Me, too. What a bunch of ignoramice! - What? 1678 01:47:18,765 --> 01:47:21,600 Ignoramice. That's more than one ignoramouse. 1679 01:47:21,726 --> 01:47:23,436 You too, huh? Here. 1680 01:47:24,688 --> 01:47:27,314 - I'm losin' my voice. - Start practicing! 1681 01:47:27,524 --> 01:47:30,609 - I'm charmed to meet you, count. - You stink! 1682 01:47:31,611 --> 01:47:32,611 Jerk. 1683 01:47:32,904 --> 01:47:35,614 No, you don't. All we need now is a crying drunk. 1684 01:47:35,699 --> 01:47:38,033 Will you give me one good reason to stay sober? 1685 01:47:38,118 --> 01:47:41,412 You're the genius who thought this up. Straighten out this menagerie. 1686 01:47:41,455 --> 01:47:45,040 - You guys, listen to miss Martin. - Quiet down, everybody. 1687 01:47:45,125 --> 01:47:47,460 Quiet! 1688 01:47:48,253 --> 01:47:50,212 Let's do one thing at a time. 1689 01:47:50,297 --> 01:47:53,799 Forget the speeches for now, and we'll concentrate on the bowing. 1690 01:47:53,842 --> 01:47:57,178 - Will you show 'em how to bow again? - It's quite simple. 1691 01:47:57,262 --> 01:48:00,931 The movement is at the waist, with a graceful gesture of the hand. 1692 01:48:01,141 --> 01:48:03,934 - Thus. - What's so difficult about that? 1693 01:48:04,060 --> 01:48:07,563 Headwaiters do it. Foreigners do it, can't even speak English. 1694 01:48:07,689 --> 01:48:11,859 Listen. Have a he and a she and pair off and practice the bowin'. 1695 01:48:12,194 --> 01:48:14,737 - All you broads over here! - Let's go. 1696 01:48:15,030 --> 01:48:16,363 Come on, girls. 1697 01:48:16,448 --> 01:48:18,657 Pick out a guy and start bowing. 1698 01:48:18,700 --> 01:48:21,327 Don't forget the hand. The gesture with the hand. 1699 01:48:21,369 --> 01:48:23,704 Bow! Everybody bow! 1700 01:48:36,384 --> 01:48:39,345 If I'm sober, why do I see things like this? 1701 01:48:50,524 --> 01:48:53,359 Does the board of health know about this epidemic? 1702 01:48:55,862 --> 01:48:57,613 - What's the matter? - Him. 1703 01:48:57,697 --> 01:49:00,741 He tried to pick my pocket where there ain't no pocket. 1704 01:49:05,080 --> 01:49:07,540 All right. Hold it now! Come on, you guys! 1705 01:49:07,582 --> 01:49:11,710 You ain't takin' this thing serious. You gals, too. You ain't, either. 1706 01:49:11,795 --> 01:49:14,588 I'm gonna tell you somethin', this is serious. 1707 01:49:14,673 --> 01:49:16,006 It's murder. 1708 01:49:16,132 --> 01:49:18,801 You're probably saying, "what's in it for us?" 1709 01:49:18,885 --> 01:49:20,803 I'll tell you: Nothing. 1710 01:49:20,887 --> 01:49:23,639 I mean, nothin' that you can put in your pocket. 1711 01:49:23,723 --> 01:49:26,308 After all, did any of us ever plant a bridge... 1712 01:49:26,393 --> 01:49:28,394 Build a bridge or plant a seed? 1713 01:49:28,436 --> 01:49:32,231 I mean, for once, could we just do somethin' nice for somebody? 1714 01:49:32,274 --> 01:49:34,400 This is for old apple Annie. 1715 01:49:34,568 --> 01:49:36,527 If somethin' goes wrong tomorrow... 1716 01:49:36,570 --> 01:49:39,405 There's no tellin' what'll happen to poor Annie. 1717 01:49:39,489 --> 01:49:42,908 Maybe she'll put her head in the oven. That'd be the perfect solution. 1718 01:49:42,993 --> 01:49:45,119 Come on. We're gonna practice. 1719 01:49:45,245 --> 01:49:47,746 We're gonna get in there and make this... 1720 01:49:47,831 --> 01:49:50,374 Make believe it's for your own mother. 1721 01:49:50,625 --> 01:49:55,462 I ought to do somethin' for my mother. I can't visit her since she's in solitary. 1722 01:49:55,797 --> 01:49:58,090 Come on, start practicin', everybody. 1723 01:49:58,258 --> 01:50:00,884 I say it again and again: 1724 01:50:00,927 --> 01:50:04,722 "This will never work." 1725 01:50:06,057 --> 01:50:07,391 Happy days. 1726 01:50:24,451 --> 01:50:26,535 The music must be soft and mellow. 1727 01:50:26,703 --> 01:50:28,787 Nothing harsh, nothing raucous... 1728 01:50:28,955 --> 01:50:32,583 Just the gentle drip of rain upon an autumn leaf. 1729 01:50:32,917 --> 01:50:36,712 - Yes, sir. I'll lay on the silk. - Splendid. Keep it schmaltzy. 1730 01:50:40,675 --> 01:50:42,426 - The new men? - Yes, sir. 1731 01:50:43,136 --> 01:50:45,137 - Trustworthy? - Completely. 1732 01:50:45,347 --> 01:50:47,514 I'm just loving this. Aren't you? 1733 01:50:47,599 --> 01:50:50,851 - In here, it's Christmas. - Quite. 1734 01:50:51,978 --> 01:50:55,564 Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way 1735 01:50:56,483 --> 01:50:57,691 yes. 1736 01:51:00,278 --> 01:51:01,820 As Pascal said: 1737 01:51:02,364 --> 01:51:06,116 "The heart hath reasons that reason itself knows nothing about." 1738 01:51:08,453 --> 01:51:11,580 - A handkerchief. - In your hand, ma'am. 1739 01:51:13,124 --> 01:51:14,833 Oh, yes. Of course. 1740 01:51:18,088 --> 01:51:19,672 Do I look all right? 1741 01:51:19,756 --> 01:51:22,841 The headwaiter at the ritz would give you the best table. 1742 01:51:22,926 --> 01:51:24,009 God bless you. 1743 01:51:24,094 --> 01:51:26,553 See for yourself, Mrs. e. Worthington manville. 1744 01:51:26,638 --> 01:51:29,181 You'd make cinderella look barefoot. 1745 01:51:31,226 --> 01:51:33,519 I don't know who that is in there. 1746 01:51:34,312 --> 01:51:36,897 I hope the whole thing isn't a dream. 1747 01:51:38,650 --> 01:51:40,317 Give me my basket. 1748 01:51:44,197 --> 01:51:46,949 Apples. 1749 01:51:47,033 --> 01:51:50,494 - The beautiful dream's coming true. - God love you. 1750 01:51:50,995 --> 01:51:53,163 Everybody's so wonderful and... 1751 01:51:53,665 --> 01:51:55,165 I'm so scared. 1752 01:51:56,418 --> 01:51:57,543 Come in. 1753 01:52:00,672 --> 01:52:03,757 Shades of Aphrodite, goddess of beauty. 1754 01:52:04,801 --> 01:52:07,886 That man just fills a room. 1755 01:52:08,304 --> 01:52:11,140 Never in all my questionable career... 1756 01:52:11,224 --> 01:52:14,560 Have I feasted my eyes upon such divine loveliness. 1757 01:52:14,728 --> 01:52:17,229 Cut it out. What time's the dude coming? 1758 01:52:17,313 --> 01:52:22,276 8:00, my fluttering dove, bringing the best-trained social lions you ever saw. 1759 01:52:22,402 --> 01:52:24,413 But can they fool the count? 1760 01:52:24,426 --> 01:52:26,447 Fret nyet, my pet. You'll behold a miracle. 1761 01:52:26,531 --> 01:52:29,032 Orchids bloom where weeds once grew. 1762 01:52:29,117 --> 01:52:32,035 - What if they make mistakes? - The dude'll kill them. 1763 01:52:32,078 --> 01:52:33,537 The poor dears. 1764 01:52:33,872 --> 01:52:35,914 Pull yourself together. Remember: 1765 01:52:35,999 --> 01:52:39,501 You're the proud mother of a lovely daughter announcing her engagement. 1766 01:52:39,586 --> 01:52:42,004 And don't think of mistakes. 1767 01:52:42,088 --> 01:52:46,258 If any mug pulls a boner, I'll flood the room with a torrent of oratory. 1768 01:52:46,342 --> 01:52:47,843 - You're wonderful. - I know. 1769 01:52:47,927 --> 01:52:50,596 Here's the plan for the receiving line. 1770 01:52:50,930 --> 01:52:52,765 You'll stand next to me... 1771 01:52:53,433 --> 01:52:56,101 Then Louise, then the count. 1772 01:52:56,561 --> 01:52:58,854 - And where am I? - Right here. 1773 01:53:00,106 --> 01:53:02,566 Dude and his mob are at queenie Martin's. 1774 01:53:02,609 --> 01:53:04,485 What're they doing there? 1775 01:53:04,694 --> 01:53:09,323 I don't know. It sure looks big. They got a line of cars a block long. 1776 01:53:09,616 --> 01:53:12,075 Stay on his tail. Don't let him get away. 1777 01:53:12,118 --> 01:53:15,245 Right. Let's close off the block. 1778 01:53:18,458 --> 01:53:22,294 Confidentially, there are times when I'm a bit ashamed of my fellow Americans. 1779 01:53:22,337 --> 01:53:26,715 The way they Fawn over celebrities, particularly you titled nobility. 1780 01:53:26,800 --> 01:53:28,801 I think that is charming. 1781 01:53:28,885 --> 01:53:31,261 They're like children. You'll notice tonight. 1782 01:53:31,304 --> 01:53:34,139 In your presence, they'll probably stammer... 1783 01:53:34,390 --> 01:53:36,767 And appear to be tongue-tied and awkward. 1784 01:53:36,810 --> 01:53:39,311 I beg of you to make allowances for them. 1785 01:53:39,437 --> 01:53:42,648 Of course. Different countries, different customs. 1786 01:53:42,982 --> 01:53:44,691 Which reminds me, judge. 1787 01:53:44,776 --> 01:53:48,570 There is a custom in my country which is not a custom in your country. 1788 01:53:48,655 --> 01:53:51,615 I have been hoping that you would speak about it. 1789 01:53:51,741 --> 01:53:55,577 - Indeed, sir? What's on your mind? - The dowry, my dear judge. 1790 01:53:55,745 --> 01:53:58,664 As yet, nothing has been said about the dowry. 1791 01:54:00,291 --> 01:54:01,625 The dowry? 1792 01:54:02,502 --> 01:54:06,088 I am aware, of course, that in America, it is not important. 1793 01:54:06,172 --> 01:54:08,632 But in my country, it is the first arrangement. 1794 01:54:08,675 --> 01:54:11,844 In your country, yes. In my country... 1795 01:54:12,053 --> 01:54:15,347 The dowry? I don't know what to say, count. 1796 01:54:15,598 --> 01:54:18,517 - You kinda crept up on me on that one. - I beg your pardon? 1797 01:54:18,560 --> 01:54:21,186 I mean, this is so totally unexpected. 1798 01:54:21,938 --> 01:54:25,732 Don't you think it's a bit vulgar to speak of money? 1799 01:54:27,026 --> 01:54:29,528 Let us be vulgar then, for a moment. 1800 01:54:29,821 --> 01:54:34,241 I am willing to make a settlement equal to 50,000 of your dollars. 1801 01:54:35,118 --> 01:54:36,243 You are? 1802 01:54:37,161 --> 01:54:38,912 - Of my dollars? - Sí. 1803 01:54:39,289 --> 01:54:43,709 I had been hoping that you would be willing to make a similar settlement. 1804 01:54:44,043 --> 01:54:47,212 Willing, yes, of course. 1805 01:54:48,047 --> 01:54:49,381 Old Napoleon. 1806 01:54:50,216 --> 01:54:54,219 - Join me in a nippy with nappy? - I'd be delighted, judge. 1807 01:54:55,221 --> 01:54:58,807 I see you keep your billiard table in excellent condition. 1808 01:55:01,352 --> 01:55:02,644 Do you play? 1809 01:55:02,729 --> 01:55:04,062 Do I play? 1810 01:55:04,355 --> 01:55:07,232 Señor, in Barcelona, I am the champion. 1811 01:55:09,569 --> 01:55:11,653 Isn't that just... 1812 01:55:12,363 --> 01:55:13,947 You don't say. 1813 01:55:14,532 --> 01:55:15,616 Sí! 1814 01:55:16,159 --> 01:55:20,621 Perhaps a little game before the guests arrive? 1815 01:55:20,747 --> 01:55:24,416 I can think of nothing that would give me greater pleasure. 1816 01:55:32,675 --> 01:55:36,595 - About that dowry, count... - Yes, judge? 1817 01:55:36,846 --> 01:55:38,961 It has occurred to me that as the young folks 1818 01:55:38,974 --> 01:55:41,099 are going to Spain to live with you... 1819 01:55:41,184 --> 01:55:43,435 That I should take care of the whole amount. 1820 01:55:43,478 --> 01:55:46,480 No, I could not let you bear the entire burden. 1821 01:55:46,564 --> 01:55:50,150 It's no burden, my dear Alfonso. So, the matter's settled. 1822 01:55:50,401 --> 01:55:53,946 Please, my dear host, you are so gracious... 1823 01:55:54,656 --> 01:55:56,448 You make me feel ashamed. 1824 01:55:56,574 --> 01:55:59,284 I shall take care of the full amount. 1825 01:55:59,327 --> 01:56:01,536 This seems silly. We could debate for hours. 1826 01:56:01,621 --> 01:56:05,082 In America, we have methods to settle such differences. 1827 01:56:05,416 --> 01:56:07,626 We toss coins, or pull straws. 1828 01:56:08,628 --> 01:56:10,504 What's so amusing, Alfonso? 1829 01:56:10,838 --> 01:56:14,341 - I could take advantage of you, judge. - Indeed, sir? 1830 01:56:15,802 --> 01:56:18,428 You wouldn't suggest a billiards contest? 1831 01:56:28,690 --> 01:56:31,525 That's enough, folks! You're gonna start sweatin'. 1832 01:56:31,609 --> 01:56:34,486 - Nobody sweats! - It's gonna work, so help me. 1833 01:56:34,570 --> 01:56:36,613 Okay, baby. Get your coat. 1834 01:56:37,991 --> 01:56:39,992 Come here. We're in, kid. 1835 01:56:40,952 --> 01:56:44,705 It's darcey. He says you can write your own ticket. Yes or no. 1836 01:56:47,500 --> 01:56:49,209 On my terms, darcey? 1837 01:56:51,004 --> 01:56:52,796 I'll tell you what you do. 1838 01:56:52,880 --> 01:56:55,716 Bring little switz to pier 84 at midnight. 1839 01:56:56,676 --> 01:56:58,427 And bring the cash. 1840 01:57:05,351 --> 01:57:08,311 - What do you think of my apple now? - I love it. 1841 01:57:08,688 --> 01:57:10,063 Ready, dude? 1842 01:57:10,857 --> 01:57:15,527 Queenie and I are leaving. The rest of you follow in groups of four every few minutes. 1843 01:57:15,611 --> 01:57:17,404 - Junior, take over here. - Right. 1844 01:57:17,488 --> 01:57:18,822 Good night. 1845 01:57:18,990 --> 01:57:20,574 Good luck, dude. 1846 01:57:24,787 --> 01:57:27,706 The darcey deal's all set. On my terms. 1847 01:57:29,042 --> 01:57:32,627 I'm gonna need you now more than ever. So don't leave me. 1848 01:57:35,840 --> 01:57:37,215 Okay, Dave. 1849 01:57:37,925 --> 01:57:39,509 Anything you say. 1850 01:57:46,017 --> 01:57:47,225 That's him. 1851 01:57:50,271 --> 01:57:52,314 Cops all around the place. 1852 01:57:57,278 --> 01:57:58,904 Thank you, mister. 1853 01:58:05,661 --> 01:58:08,288 Like the boss said, walk out... 1854 01:58:08,623 --> 01:58:10,123 Boss, what's the matter? 1855 01:58:10,208 --> 01:58:12,626 You know there's cops out there? Millions of them. 1856 01:58:12,710 --> 01:58:14,294 - Cops? - What'll we do now? 1857 01:58:14,378 --> 01:58:17,547 I can't go to Annie's with them there. They'll follow us. 1858 01:58:17,757 --> 01:58:20,967 Get the judge on the phone. We gotta stall them. Come here. 1859 01:58:21,344 --> 01:58:23,929 What are they doin'? We just talked to darcey. 1860 01:58:24,013 --> 01:58:26,181 - I don't know. - I didn't do nothing. 1861 01:58:26,265 --> 01:58:28,266 - Let me think. - I don't like it. 1862 01:58:28,893 --> 01:58:32,437 - What amazing luck. - I've been very fortunate, haven't I? 1863 01:58:32,563 --> 01:58:34,189 24-24. 1864 01:58:34,524 --> 01:58:37,818 - You realize, you make this shot, you win. - Really? 1865 01:58:38,277 --> 01:58:42,030 - This shot seems practically impossible. - I've seen it made. 1866 01:58:42,156 --> 01:58:45,784 It's a seven-cushion shot with high, delicate right-hand English. 1867 01:58:45,868 --> 01:58:47,369 It would take an expert. 1868 01:58:47,453 --> 01:58:50,914 Pardon, sir. Mrs. manville's brother-in-law on the telephone. 1869 01:58:50,957 --> 01:58:53,834 - Brother David? - Yes. He says it's very urgent. 1870 01:58:53,918 --> 01:58:55,961 I shall be there directly. 1871 01:59:07,056 --> 01:59:10,433 - You made it! - Most fortunate. 1872 01:59:15,314 --> 01:59:19,234 - The judge, expert. - Sir, I beat him regularly. 1873 01:59:20,027 --> 01:59:21,570 Thank you, sir. 1874 01:59:27,994 --> 01:59:29,536 Hello, brother David. 1875 01:59:29,662 --> 01:59:33,081 Congratulate me. I just saved you $50,000. 1876 01:59:33,541 --> 01:59:36,251 Will you knock off the lousy jokes? We're in a jam. 1877 01:59:36,335 --> 01:59:38,336 The place is surrounded by bluecoats. 1878 01:59:38,421 --> 01:59:39,504 Cops? 1879 01:59:40,298 --> 01:59:42,841 I don't care for that at all, my dear dude. 1880 01:59:43,176 --> 01:59:47,179 Would you suggest that I fold my tent and silently scram into the night? 1881 01:59:47,555 --> 01:59:49,848 If you know what's good for you, you'll stay. 1882 01:59:49,891 --> 01:59:52,184 Stall them. I'll figure somethin' out. 1883 01:59:52,226 --> 01:59:55,687 Figure fast, dude. I'm notoriously poor at bag-holding. 1884 01:59:56,189 --> 01:59:59,149 - What is it, Henry? - Nothing's wrong, my dear. 1885 01:59:59,192 --> 02:00:02,027 I heard you. You said something about cops. 1886 02:00:02,153 --> 02:00:04,446 - They're not coming here? - Of course not. 1887 02:00:04,530 --> 02:00:08,617 - Don't lie to me. Tell me the truth. - Don't get yourself all worked up. 1888 02:00:08,701 --> 02:00:11,703 If something is going to happen, I've got to know. 1889 02:00:11,787 --> 02:00:14,748 I'd rather tell them the truth myself. If... 1890 02:00:15,958 --> 02:00:17,918 Look what the count gave me to wear. 1891 02:00:18,002 --> 02:00:21,463 It's an heirloom that used to belong to queen Isabella. 1892 02:00:22,006 --> 02:00:25,383 - It's beautiful, dear. - It's going to be mine after the wedding. 1893 02:00:25,426 --> 02:00:27,469 Carlos hasn't seen it on me. 1894 02:00:34,268 --> 02:00:36,645 She's a lovely girl, isn't she, judge? 1895 02:00:38,272 --> 02:00:41,399 - Don't you think she's lovely? - Angelic, my dear. 1896 02:00:43,402 --> 02:00:45,237 What am I going to do? 1897 02:00:46,113 --> 02:00:49,658 Suppose the count calls off the wedding? 1898 02:00:51,577 --> 02:00:53,328 She'd hate me. 1899 02:00:53,871 --> 02:00:55,997 Don't be silly, Annie. 1900 02:00:59,085 --> 02:01:01,920 She'll want to know who her father is. 1901 02:01:03,422 --> 02:01:05,465 What am going to tell her? 1902 02:01:07,843 --> 02:01:11,930 - You see, I was never married. - You won't have to tell her anything. 1903 02:01:12,056 --> 02:01:15,558 Get a grip on yourself. Dude will come up with something. 1904 02:01:15,601 --> 02:01:17,102 He always does. 1905 02:01:29,198 --> 02:01:33,702 Before this evening is over, I expect complete apology from you. 1906 02:01:34,036 --> 02:01:35,745 That is why I asked you here. 1907 02:01:35,788 --> 02:01:39,124 My dear count, nothing would give me greater satisfaction... 1908 02:01:39,166 --> 02:01:41,418 Than to be proven an imbecile. 1909 02:01:46,799 --> 02:01:49,050 What time do the guests arrive? 1910 02:01:49,593 --> 02:01:53,013 No one arrives first, sir. They all come in last. 1911 02:02:06,527 --> 02:02:08,653 - Hey, boss. - Will you knock it off? 1912 02:02:09,655 --> 02:02:13,658 Those bulls ain't got nothin' on me, or else they'd break that door down. 1913 02:02:13,868 --> 02:02:18,330 Tell me how I'll get all these people to Annie's without the cops tailing us? 1914 02:02:18,372 --> 02:02:20,665 - You've got one ace in the hole. - What's that? 1915 02:02:20,708 --> 02:02:23,001 - Give them what they want. - What do they want? 1916 02:02:23,085 --> 02:02:25,670 - Give 'em the truth. - The truth to the cops? 1917 02:02:25,755 --> 02:02:28,548 What's the matter, you out of your skull? 1918 02:02:29,050 --> 02:02:30,550 Wait a minute. 1919 02:02:31,052 --> 02:02:33,762 Wait a minute. I've got what they want. 1920 02:02:35,264 --> 02:02:36,348 Yeah. 1921 02:02:37,892 --> 02:02:41,186 I'll go down, I'll see the commissioner. I'll make a deal. 1922 02:02:41,228 --> 02:02:43,188 - The commissioner? - Right. 1923 02:02:44,065 --> 02:02:46,649 You take over, junior. Joy boy, come on. 1924 02:02:46,692 --> 02:02:49,819 I don't like it. I don't like the whole thing. 1925 02:02:50,696 --> 02:02:54,449 All right, everybody up on your feet. I don't like the way you bow! 1926 02:02:54,533 --> 02:02:57,869 We're gonna do the bow again. Let's go. 1927 02:03:17,390 --> 02:03:21,142 All I ask you, commissioner, is you just lay off me for tonight. 1928 02:03:21,227 --> 02:03:24,979 That's all? Don't you want me to give you the keys to the city, too? 1929 02:03:25,064 --> 02:03:27,941 What are you all doing at a joint like queenie Martin's? 1930 02:03:28,025 --> 02:03:30,860 Nothin' at all. I mean, that would interest you. 1931 02:03:30,903 --> 02:03:34,322 But you see, I just can't tell anybody about it. That's all. 1932 02:03:34,407 --> 02:03:38,535 If you'll give me a base-on-balls for tonight, I'll save your badge for you. 1933 02:03:38,577 --> 02:03:40,328 What do you mean? 1934 02:03:40,454 --> 02:03:43,665 I read the papers. You want to find those reporters, don't you? 1935 02:03:43,749 --> 02:03:45,792 - You got those reporters? - I got friends. 1936 02:03:45,876 --> 02:03:48,795 All I gotta do is just spread the word around those friends. 1937 02:03:48,879 --> 02:03:52,465 And those newsboys, they'll show up tomorrow just as good as new. 1938 02:03:52,591 --> 02:03:56,428 But all I ask you is, please, just lay off me for tonight. 1939 02:03:56,512 --> 02:03:58,596 I don't make deals with bums like you. 1940 02:03:58,639 --> 02:04:01,516 You'll have a police escort until they show up. Get him out. 1941 02:04:01,600 --> 02:04:04,811 Wait a minute. Okay, Mac, I'm gonna tell you something. 1942 02:04:04,937 --> 02:04:09,399 I got those reporters, and they ain't showin' up until I'm good and ready. 1943 02:04:10,818 --> 02:04:14,612 - Now are we gonna do business? - Sure, dude. We can do business. 1944 02:04:14,697 --> 02:04:17,073 Coberly, brisko, frisk these guys and book them. 1945 02:04:17,116 --> 02:04:18,158 What? 1946 02:04:18,242 --> 02:04:20,618 Yes, you can always do business with the police. 1947 02:04:20,703 --> 02:04:23,371 - This ain't gonna get you no place. - Get me the mayor. 1948 02:04:23,456 --> 02:04:26,583 You can't get him. He's throwing that big party for the governor. 1949 02:04:26,625 --> 02:04:28,835 He finds out what it's about, I'll get him. 1950 02:04:28,919 --> 02:04:31,129 Don't be a sap. Why drag the mayor into it? 1951 02:04:31,172 --> 02:04:34,841 He might make a deal with you, too. He'll probably settle for about 50 years. 1952 02:04:34,925 --> 02:04:37,051 I promise you, there's nothin' crooked goin' on. 1953 02:04:37,136 --> 02:04:39,387 When you hear the story, you're gonna laugh. 1954 02:04:39,472 --> 02:04:42,849 I'm laughin' already. I've been waitin' 10 years to laugh at you. 1955 02:04:42,933 --> 02:04:46,019 - Hello, chief. - Hold it. Just before you talk... 1956 02:04:46,395 --> 02:04:49,731 I told queenie I'd tell the truth. I'm gonna give you the truth. 1957 02:04:49,815 --> 02:04:53,776 You'll think I'm nuts, but it's the truth. You see, it's like... 1958 02:04:55,404 --> 02:04:57,238 A mother goose story. 1959 02:04:58,616 --> 02:05:00,626 That's right. It's like one of those stories 1960 02:05:00,639 --> 02:05:02,660 you tell the kids when they go to bed. 1961 02:05:02,703 --> 02:05:04,329 Will you hold the wire, chief? 1962 02:05:04,371 --> 02:05:06,956 Dave the dude, bootlegger, racketeer, and gambler... 1963 02:05:06,999 --> 02:05:09,375 Wants to tell me a beddy-bye story. 1964 02:05:10,127 --> 02:05:11,503 Okay, forget it! 1965 02:05:11,629 --> 02:05:15,715 I'm gonna hang before I'm gonna let any fink of a cop give me the horse laugh. 1966 02:05:15,799 --> 02:05:17,133 As for you, Mr. mayor... 1967 02:05:17,176 --> 02:05:20,470 You tell your Mr. mayor he won't ever see those reporters again. 1968 02:05:20,513 --> 02:05:21,596 - Ever! - Chief. 1969 02:05:21,680 --> 02:05:25,141 - Dave the dude is in my office... - Can I use the phone? 1970 02:05:25,768 --> 02:05:28,853 Dave the dude is here. He admits he's got the reporters. 1971 02:05:28,938 --> 02:05:30,730 Good work, commissioner. 1972 02:05:30,814 --> 02:05:33,233 Dave the dude admits having the reporters. 1973 02:05:33,317 --> 02:05:35,860 - Dave the what? - Fancy-pants ex-bootlegger. 1974 02:05:35,945 --> 02:05:39,531 - Excellent. Have they arrested him? - Of course they've arrested him. 1975 02:05:39,573 --> 02:05:43,201 What do you suppose'll happen now? A bail bond and he's out laughing. 1976 02:05:43,244 --> 02:05:46,412 - That's ridiculous. - That's the way things go down here. 1977 02:05:46,830 --> 02:05:49,374 Of all the colossal nerve. Who does he think is? 1978 02:05:49,458 --> 02:05:52,335 He can't make any deals with the police department. 1979 02:05:52,461 --> 02:05:55,129 Here's an example. You see? He makes deals. 1980 02:05:55,214 --> 02:05:59,050 He says if we don't let him alone tonight, we may never see the reporters again. 1981 02:05:59,134 --> 02:06:01,928 What? Why, this is outrageous. Mr. mayor! 1982 02:06:02,012 --> 02:06:05,974 Don't get excited, governor. It's quite the customary procedure. 1983 02:06:07,601 --> 02:06:09,227 Bring the dude up here. 1984 02:06:09,311 --> 02:06:12,480 That's exactly what I said. Bring him without delay. 1985 02:06:12,565 --> 02:06:15,567 Don't worry about my guests. This is more important. 1986 02:06:16,277 --> 02:06:20,071 You're so quick to criticize, let's see what you can do with him. 1987 02:06:20,322 --> 02:06:22,625 I'd send a criminal like that away for life. 1988 02:06:22,638 --> 02:06:24,951 Here's your chance, governor. 1989 02:06:25,244 --> 02:06:28,746 All right, slops. Up on your blisters. You ain't bowing right. 1990 02:06:28,789 --> 02:06:32,834 Lay off, junior. I been bowin' so much I got a callous on my bellybutton. 1991 02:06:32,918 --> 02:06:36,546 - Come on, bow! - Sit down, junior. Save your strength. 1992 02:06:37,840 --> 02:06:39,382 Hello? Dude? 1993 02:06:40,926 --> 02:06:43,094 You're where? At the police? 1994 02:06:45,931 --> 02:06:48,641 You're gonna go over and pick up the reporters? 1995 02:06:49,476 --> 02:06:50,852 Poor Annie. 1996 02:06:52,688 --> 02:06:54,939 All right, I'll go right over. 1997 02:07:00,321 --> 02:07:03,197 I feel sorry for the whole stinkin' world. 1998 02:07:04,575 --> 02:07:06,284 What's it gonna be? 1999 02:07:07,119 --> 02:07:08,328 It's all off. 2000 02:07:08,704 --> 02:07:11,831 Send the suits back. I'm sorry, kids. You can go home. 2001 02:07:11,915 --> 02:07:14,542 - Thanks for everything. - That's a shame. 2002 02:07:15,794 --> 02:07:18,254 You learned how to bow, didn't you? 2003 02:07:18,672 --> 02:07:21,883 I wish I could cry. Come on, junior. 2004 02:07:48,994 --> 02:07:51,496 There's nobody at queenie Martin's. 2005 02:07:56,502 --> 02:07:58,252 No, Annie. 2006 02:07:58,837 --> 02:08:00,922 Don't do anything foolish. 2007 02:08:03,258 --> 02:08:05,051 Mama, isn't anybody coming? 2008 02:08:08,597 --> 02:08:10,348 Mama, what's wrong? 2009 02:08:12,184 --> 02:08:13,935 Louise, baby. 2010 02:08:18,065 --> 02:08:21,192 If you should... If anything should happen... 2011 02:08:21,485 --> 02:08:22,527 Mama. 2012 02:08:24,530 --> 02:08:28,199 - You wouldn't hate your mother? - Don't say things like that. 2013 02:08:34,915 --> 02:08:37,250 Is the count in the living room? 2014 02:08:41,088 --> 02:08:42,714 What is it, mama? 2015 02:08:46,593 --> 02:08:48,511 LA commedia è finita! 2016 02:08:48,554 --> 02:08:52,682 Send the waiters and musicians home. Call some doctors. Where's poor Annie? 2017 02:08:55,936 --> 02:08:57,270 I'm so sorry. 2018 02:09:14,747 --> 02:09:18,458 Count romero, I'd like to talk to you for a minute, please. 2019 02:09:24,173 --> 02:09:28,968 I'm sure you must know there's nothing in the world I want more... 2020 02:09:29,052 --> 02:09:31,846 Than for my daughter to marry your son. 2021 02:09:34,600 --> 02:09:37,310 She loves him. Loves him very much. 2022 02:09:38,812 --> 02:09:41,063 And I know he loves her, too. 2023 02:09:44,777 --> 02:09:47,528 Ever since Louise was born... 2024 02:09:50,032 --> 02:09:52,074 I've lived for one thing: 2025 02:09:53,827 --> 02:09:55,119 Her future. 2026 02:09:57,122 --> 02:10:01,417 When she wrote me that she'd found someone she loved... 2027 02:10:03,295 --> 02:10:06,172 I was the happiest mother in the world. 2028 02:10:10,135 --> 02:10:13,805 Count romero, I know you came to America to find out... 2029 02:10:14,848 --> 02:10:16,474 All about us... 2030 02:10:17,935 --> 02:10:19,811 About Louise's family. 2031 02:10:19,978 --> 02:10:21,813 No, señora... 2032 02:10:22,022 --> 02:10:25,525 I don't blame you. You have the right. 2033 02:10:26,735 --> 02:10:30,488 And it would be terrible, after they were married... 2034 02:10:32,783 --> 02:10:34,283 To find out... 2035 02:10:35,786 --> 02:10:37,787 That Louise's mother was... 2036 02:10:39,331 --> 02:10:41,249 Someone you'd be ashamed of. 2037 02:10:42,292 --> 02:10:46,337 - That even Louise would be ashamed of. - That's silly, mama. 2038 02:10:46,421 --> 02:10:49,674 - Mrs. manville. - Let me go on. 2039 02:10:50,801 --> 02:10:55,096 I wanted this talk, so you'd find out all about me. 2040 02:10:58,475 --> 02:11:00,518 First of all, count romero... 2041 02:11:02,855 --> 02:11:05,898 I must tell you that I am... 2042 02:11:42,311 --> 02:11:45,229 His honor, the mayor of the city of New York. 2043 02:11:50,235 --> 02:11:52,987 Well, mayor, it's your idea. Start beaming. 2044 02:11:58,076 --> 02:12:01,078 My dear Mrs. manville, it's so good to see you again. 2045 02:12:01,121 --> 02:12:04,749 The last time I had this pleasure was at your party at briarcliff. 2046 02:12:04,791 --> 02:12:07,376 I will never forget it. It was a brilliant affair. 2047 02:12:07,419 --> 02:12:10,254 This, of course, is Louise. The image of her late father. 2048 02:12:10,339 --> 02:12:12,840 Are you going to give us the good news tonight? 2049 02:12:12,925 --> 02:12:17,094 So nice to see you, dear. You look lovely. Have you seen lord Bernard lately? 2050 02:12:17,137 --> 02:12:19,138 It's a pleasure. Welcome to our city. 2051 02:12:19,222 --> 02:12:22,433 In person, you look so much younger than in the newsreels. 2052 02:12:22,517 --> 02:12:24,685 Well, indeed. Thank you very much. 2053 02:12:24,770 --> 02:12:27,063 This is my son, Carlos. His honor, the mayor. 2054 02:12:27,105 --> 02:12:30,024 You are the lucky young man. Congratulations. 2055 02:12:31,443 --> 02:12:34,028 - My son, Carlos. - Count romero. 2056 02:12:34,571 --> 02:12:39,158 His excellency, the governor of New York state! 2057 02:12:56,426 --> 02:12:59,971 My dear Mrs. manville, what a pleasure to see you again so soon. 2058 02:13:00,013 --> 02:13:03,099 And so radiant. And this is the fabulous Louise? 2059 02:13:03,308 --> 02:13:06,811 You know, I've always admired you, so her beauty doesn't surprise me. 2060 02:13:06,895 --> 02:13:08,521 You know my wife? 2061 02:13:09,648 --> 02:13:13,901 We're so happy to be here. We wouldn't have missed this for the world. 2062 02:13:14,152 --> 02:13:16,320 Allow me to welcome you to New York. 2063 02:13:16,989 --> 02:13:18,739 I'm crying. 2064 02:13:19,908 --> 02:13:21,701 Dude, I'm crying! 2065 02:13:22,452 --> 02:13:24,495 Joy boy, look, I'm crying. 2066 02:13:25,163 --> 02:13:27,540 All right, I got my own troubles. 2067 02:13:32,796 --> 02:13:35,589 A police escort. That's more than we get in Barcelona. 2068 02:13:35,674 --> 02:13:39,510 Nothing, my dear Carlos, nothing at all. I've had many a police escort. 2069 02:13:40,262 --> 02:13:41,679 How about that? 2070 02:13:42,222 --> 02:13:44,682 The mayor, the governor, the cops. 2071 02:13:46,101 --> 02:13:49,395 - I thought they were all crooks. - Why did they do it? 2072 02:13:49,479 --> 02:13:51,480 They gotta have an angle. 2073 02:13:52,024 --> 02:13:55,443 Delightful experience. Made me feel 10 years younger. 2074 02:13:55,902 --> 02:13:59,196 Are you still gonna investigate the mayor's administration? 2075 02:13:59,656 --> 02:14:02,700 I don't think so. I think we'll postpone it. 2076 02:14:04,327 --> 02:14:06,829 I must remember to call the commissioner tomorrow. 2077 02:14:06,872 --> 02:14:09,915 I've made his life miserable the last few days. 2078 02:14:11,084 --> 02:14:13,044 "...announce their daughter's engagement... 2079 02:14:13,086 --> 02:14:17,590 "To Carlos romero of Barcelona, Spain, at a gala reception last night," and so on. 2080 02:14:17,674 --> 02:14:20,718 Take it from there, and include a complete list of the guests. 2081 02:14:20,761 --> 02:14:22,511 That's your story. That's all. 2082 02:14:22,554 --> 02:14:25,056 What about being snatched? What's that all about? 2083 02:14:25,140 --> 02:14:28,309 Who said you were snatched? You were out on a drunk, understand? 2084 02:14:28,393 --> 02:14:29,560 Drunk? 2085 02:14:29,644 --> 02:14:32,104 We are going to the boat to see her off 2086 02:14:32,189 --> 02:14:34,565 singin' Polly wolly doodle all the day 2087 02:14:34,691 --> 02:14:38,069 happy days must really be back, if you bums are takin' cabs now. 2088 02:14:38,153 --> 02:14:42,323 - Pipe down. We're with the governor. - Dry up. We're godfathers. 2089 02:14:42,783 --> 02:14:47,411 Fare thee well, fare thee well, fare thee well, my dear Louise 2090 02:14:48,080 --> 02:14:50,706 for we're going to the boat to see her off 2091 02:14:50,749 --> 02:14:52,917 singin' Polly wolly doodle all the day 2092 02:15:11,186 --> 02:15:14,021 little switz. It's parked right behind you. 2093 02:15:17,192 --> 02:15:20,277 He's waiting. He's got $100,000 in small bills. 2094 02:15:24,407 --> 02:15:26,752 Boss, you got business. Can I have the night off? 2095 02:15:26,765 --> 02:15:29,120 I gotta go see ma. 2096 02:15:29,162 --> 02:15:30,371 Wait a minute. 2097 02:15:30,455 --> 02:15:34,792 My wife, I ain't seen her in a week, and you know, she's this way again. 2098 02:15:35,544 --> 02:15:38,129 - What do you say we split a cab? - Come on. 2099 02:15:41,550 --> 02:15:42,967 - Elizabeth? - Yeah. 2100 02:15:46,263 --> 02:15:49,056 What was the name of that town in Maryland? 2101 02:15:51,143 --> 02:15:52,977 Come on, quit bawlin'. 2102 02:16:02,696 --> 02:16:05,364 My baby. My darling. 2103 02:16:06,491 --> 02:16:07,867 God bless you. 2104 02:16:08,493 --> 02:16:09,743 Adiós. 2105 02:16:14,249 --> 02:16:17,084 Courage, my pet. Don't faint now. Courage. 2106 02:16:23,592 --> 02:16:25,176 Goodbye, Louise! 2107 02:16:28,722 --> 02:16:31,807 Why are you standing here with your mouths open? 2108 02:16:31,933 --> 02:16:35,060 The crowd on this dock is loaded. Start hustling. 2109 02:16:35,145 --> 02:16:39,565 Because I'll raise you $1 a month to work Broadway. Let's go! 2110 02:16:41,000 --> 02:16:49,100 Subs By THIWANKA...170773