Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,109 --> 00:00:03,594
- I need some advice.
- About what?
2
00:00:03,696 --> 00:00:05,421
Doesn't matter, just go.
3
00:00:06,328 --> 00:00:09,210
Never play poker with a man
named after a city.
4
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,068
Where were you 25 years ago
5
00:00:11,093 --> 00:00:13,193
when Toledo Tony cleaned me out?
6
00:00:13,450 --> 00:00:14,718
You know, it helps
7
00:00:14,743 --> 00:00:16,351
if you're more specific
about these things.
8
00:00:16,376 --> 00:00:19,203
Okay, fine. There is something
that's been driving me crazy
9
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:21,628
forever, and I haven't
complained about it because,
10
00:00:21,653 --> 00:00:23,653
you know, healthy,
bigger, better person.
11
00:00:23,678 --> 00:00:27,547
But my husband owns a bar and
I'm a recovering alcoholic.
12
00:00:27,572 --> 00:00:30,085
And here's his
non-alcoholic drink menu:
13
00:00:30,327 --> 00:00:33,695
coffee, water and
lemonade from a powder.
14
00:00:34,085 --> 00:00:35,326
And yes, that's a real menu.
15
00:00:35,351 --> 00:00:37,257
He actually printed that up.
16
00:00:37,497 --> 00:00:39,263
So here's what I need to know from you:
17
00:00:39,562 --> 00:00:41,499
why doesn't he love me?
18
00:00:42,797 --> 00:00:45,659
Evel Knievel couldn't make
the leap you just did.
19
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:47,289
It's not a leap.
20
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:49,050
Why can't he put some thought into it?
21
00:00:49,075 --> 00:00:50,202
Why don't you put some thought into it?
22
00:00:50,227 --> 00:00:51,766
Why don't you put some thought into it?
23
00:00:52,805 --> 00:00:54,378
You're a creative person,
24
00:00:54,403 --> 00:00:56,655
you certainly have some
experience with drinking,
25
00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,026
why don't you come up with something
26
00:00:58,051 --> 00:00:59,428
and see if he'll put it on the menu?
27
00:00:59,529 --> 00:01:01,262
Well, when you decide
to give up therapy,
28
00:01:01,287 --> 00:01:03,570
might I suggest Girl Scouts leader?
29
00:01:04,066 --> 00:01:06,466
Someday, I'm gonna write a paper on you.
30
00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:08,914
But not until I'm ready to be famous.
31
00:01:09,539 --> 00:01:11,172
You're cranky. Does that mean
32
00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:12,609
you're still not having sex with anyone?
33
00:01:13,383 --> 00:01:15,803
I have a person I speak
to about these things,
34
00:01:15,828 --> 00:01:17,391
and it's not you.
35
00:01:17,416 --> 00:01:19,781
Wait. You have a therapist?
36
00:01:19,806 --> 00:01:21,439
All therapists have therapists.
37
00:01:21,464 --> 00:01:23,831
So if you have a therapist
and your therapist
38
00:01:23,856 --> 00:01:26,281
has a therapist and that
therapist has a therapist,
39
00:01:26,306 --> 00:01:28,640
that means everybody in
the world has a therapist,
40
00:01:28,665 --> 00:01:30,625
and that means that I will
be someone's therapist,
41
00:01:30,650 --> 00:01:33,016
so you should really be paying me.
42
00:01:34,937 --> 00:01:36,631
How am I the one who's still single?
43
00:01:36,656 --> 00:01:39,190
(scoffs) I knew it.
44
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:44,433
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
45
00:01:46,571 --> 00:01:48,882
I've got carrot, beet,
turmeric for Jill.
46
00:01:48,907 --> 00:01:50,430
Oh, that's me.
47
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,233
- Trevor?
- Hey, Jill.
48
00:01:53,811 --> 00:01:55,852
Oh, God, why now?
49
00:01:57,825 --> 00:01:58,991
Hey!
50
00:01:59,351 --> 00:02:00,517
Oh, pardon my appearance.
51
00:02:00,542 --> 00:02:02,642
I just... I just ran five miles.
52
00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:05,355
Oh, what a coinky-dink...
I just ran six.
53
00:02:05,380 --> 00:02:08,281
Really? Did a professional
makeup artist run alongside you?
54
00:02:08,306 --> 00:02:10,003
Oh! (laughs)
55
00:02:10,028 --> 00:02:11,920
Oh, aren't you sweet?
56
00:02:12,022 --> 00:02:15,319
- So how you been?
- Good, good. Yeah, in fact,
57
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,725
- I was thinking about you last week.
- Do tell.
58
00:02:18,086 --> 00:02:20,393
Well, my allergies flared up.
59
00:02:20,418 --> 00:02:22,806
And, uh, it was just a lot of sneezing.
60
00:02:22,831 --> 00:02:24,914
(sniffles) Really moist.
61
00:02:24,939 --> 00:02:28,147
And the Kleenex box
cover that you gave me,
62
00:02:28,172 --> 00:02:31,155
uh, really turned it into
a positive experience.
63
00:02:31,180 --> 00:02:33,083
Oh, and here I thought the only people
64
00:02:33,108 --> 00:02:34,674
would be using that was your patients.
65
00:02:34,699 --> 00:02:37,049
No, my nose is constantly running.
66
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,442
I ruin a lot of sleeves.
67
00:02:40,382 --> 00:02:42,048
Hey, how about we change the subject?
68
00:02:42,073 --> 00:02:44,728
Kale smoothie with
lady boost for Trevor?
69
00:02:44,753 --> 00:02:46,930
Subject changed.
70
00:02:46,955 --> 00:02:49,936
I'm low in iron and folic acid.
71
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,758
Why should you gals
have all the fun, huh?
72
00:02:51,783 --> 00:02:52,907
(laughs)
73
00:02:53,171 --> 00:02:54,671
Well, your secret's safe with me.
74
00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:57,664
It's funny, 'cause I'm usually
the one keeping the secrets.
75
00:02:57,689 --> 00:02:59,355
(short chuckle) 'Cause of my work.
76
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,614
Oh, you must have some good ones.
77
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,313
Oh, I really do.
78
00:03:03,338 --> 00:03:04,437
(laughs)
79
00:03:06,047 --> 00:03:07,550
Oh, you want me to tell you.
80
00:03:07,575 --> 00:03:09,208
No, I can't do that.
81
00:03:09,233 --> 00:03:11,688
Although I would be way more
fun at parties if I could.
82
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,694
(both laugh)
83
00:03:13,719 --> 00:03:14,624
Oh.
84
00:03:14,649 --> 00:03:16,382
Well, I should get going.
85
00:03:16,407 --> 00:03:18,074
I was just about to say that.
86
00:03:18,099 --> 00:03:19,863
- Sure you were.
- No, no, no, really.
87
00:03:19,888 --> 00:03:21,500
I-I say that all the time.
88
00:03:21,525 --> 00:03:23,336
Here, allow me.
89
00:03:24,461 --> 00:03:25,994
It's the other push.
90
00:03:27,936 --> 00:03:30,422
There's that lady boost kicking in.
91
00:03:31,074 --> 00:03:33,141
Just don't burst into tears on me.
92
00:03:35,496 --> 00:03:37,396
Okay, mocktail number one.
93
00:03:37,639 --> 00:03:40,272
This one has cold brew
coffee, a little maple syrup,
94
00:03:40,297 --> 00:03:41,918
vanilla bean and grated cinnamon.
95
00:03:41,943 --> 00:03:45,110
- That sounds great.
- Oh, wait, wait.
96
00:03:46,024 --> 00:03:48,314
Oh, I love that sound.
Remember whip-its?
97
00:03:49,522 --> 00:03:52,571
Neither do I... They
kill a lot of brain cells.
98
00:03:54,829 --> 00:03:57,129
Bonnie, this is terrific.
99
00:04:00,479 --> 00:04:01,979
I like it.
100
00:04:03,408 --> 00:04:05,608
Okay, that's a thumbs
up on Sunday Funday.
101
00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:06,866
Mm-hmm.
102
00:04:06,891 --> 00:04:10,837
- Next we have the Sparkly Pony.
- Ooh!
103
00:04:10,939 --> 00:04:11,939
Smells a little weird.
104
00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:13,216
Awfully picky for someone
105
00:04:13,241 --> 00:04:15,274
who used to drink toilet wine.
106
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,354
Please note the edible
glitter on the rim.
107
00:04:17,379 --> 00:04:18,611
Hmm.
108
00:04:18,789 --> 00:04:19,789
Mmm!
109
00:04:19,814 --> 00:04:21,180
I love it.
110
00:04:21,205 --> 00:04:24,060
So do I, but I'm much
too manly to admit it.
111
00:04:24,085 --> 00:04:25,785
Yeah, you are.
112
00:04:25,810 --> 00:04:27,310
You got a little glitter on your lip.
113
00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:30,900
(whoops) Two for two.
114
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:35,116
This one... I call the Wishbone.
115
00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:36,788
Taste it before I tell you what's in it,
116
00:04:36,813 --> 00:04:39,342
but I'm pretty sure
this is the home run.
117
00:04:39,367 --> 00:04:40,617
(chuckles)
118
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:44,948
- What the hell?
- That is nasty! (gags)
119
00:04:44,973 --> 00:04:46,906
Maybe I put in too much turkey broth.
120
00:04:46,931 --> 00:04:49,219
- What?!
- It's a riff on Thanksgiving.
121
00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:52,188
There's broth, cranberry juice,
sage and muddled pumpkin.
122
00:04:52,213 --> 00:04:53,653
I think you've got a muddled pumpkin.
123
00:04:53,678 --> 00:04:55,892
- (laughs)
- If you don't fly close to the sun,
124
00:04:55,924 --> 00:04:57,424
you'll never get there.
125
00:04:57,518 --> 00:04:59,140
Well, you're two-thirds
of a whacked-out genius,
126
00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:00,397
'cause those are great.
127
00:05:00,422 --> 00:05:02,576
Seriously, keep going and
we'll have a whole menu.
128
00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:05,375
- You mean it?
- Yeah, just nothing else meat-based.
129
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,404
Aw, so that's a no on the bacon gimlet.
130
00:05:07,860 --> 00:05:10,263
- Actually, I'd like to try that.
- It's called the Piglet.
131
00:05:10,288 --> 00:05:11,992
Make it right now.
132
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,145
This is nice.
133
00:05:15,170 --> 00:05:17,180
We never have lunch, just the two of us.
134
00:05:17,205 --> 00:05:18,461
It is nice.
135
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:21,741
- I have a problem.
- I had a feeling.
136
00:05:21,766 --> 00:05:23,219
You know how sometimes
you think you shouldn't
137
00:05:23,244 --> 00:05:24,388
do something, but the universe is
138
00:05:24,412 --> 00:05:25,878
telling you that you should?
139
00:05:25,903 --> 00:05:28,091
Isn't it smarter just to
listen to the universe?
140
00:05:28,907 --> 00:05:31,017
How about you listen
to what's in your heart?
141
00:05:31,196 --> 00:05:32,662
Yeah, well, my heart says it wants me
142
00:05:32,687 --> 00:05:34,649
to go out with Bonnie's therapist.
143
00:05:35,164 --> 00:05:37,523
Your heart is out of its mind.
144
00:05:38,024 --> 00:05:39,803
Didn't Bonnie make it very clear
145
00:05:39,828 --> 00:05:41,894
that she's not comfortable with that?
146
00:05:41,919 --> 00:05:44,749
Yeah, but I ran into him at
my juice place the other day,
147
00:05:44,774 --> 00:05:47,233
and he was sweaty and kind of goofy,
148
00:05:47,258 --> 00:05:50,180
but for some reason, I can't
stop thinking about him.
149
00:05:50,633 --> 00:05:53,426
I had a BLT yesterday I
can't stop thinking about.
150
00:05:53,451 --> 00:05:55,118
Doesn't mean I should date it.
151
00:05:55,143 --> 00:05:56,976
Taylor, what do you think?
152
00:05:57,001 --> 00:05:58,981
I think Bonnie needs a therapist
more than you need a man.
153
00:05:59,006 --> 00:06:01,006
Now would you two order already?
154
00:06:03,084 --> 00:06:05,774
Bonnie Plunkett is ruining my life.
155
00:06:06,985 --> 00:06:08,465
How so this week?
156
00:06:08,490 --> 00:06:11,235
Keeping in mind that our
session is only 90 minutes.
157
00:06:11,883 --> 00:06:14,147
The planets have aligned for me
158
00:06:14,172 --> 00:06:16,172
in a way they never have before.
159
00:06:16,197 --> 00:06:19,019
A lovely, sophisticated,
kind, generous woman
160
00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:21,778
has taken a liking to
me, but I can't pursue it
161
00:06:21,803 --> 00:06:23,436
because she's Bonnie's friend.
162
00:06:23,766 --> 00:06:25,748
It's a clear ethical violation.
163
00:06:26,139 --> 00:06:28,094
But she's so hot!
164
00:06:28,896 --> 00:06:30,295
You didn't mention "hot."
165
00:06:30,899 --> 00:06:32,179
But no.
166
00:06:32,724 --> 00:06:35,358
But no one like her has ever
been attracted to me before.
167
00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:37,650
She was definitely head cheerleader.
168
00:06:38,039 --> 00:06:40,140
My only friend was
a gifted ten-year-old
169
00:06:40,165 --> 00:06:42,383
taking a bunch of AP classes.
170
00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:46,425
- You're angry.
- He was my only friend.
171
00:06:46,821 --> 00:06:48,797
I wasn't his.
172
00:06:49,341 --> 00:06:52,308
I mean because you feel
like you don't have choices.
173
00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:55,141
- I don't.
- But you do.
174
00:06:56,414 --> 00:06:59,593
You could choose to take
this as a positive affirmation
175
00:06:59,618 --> 00:07:03,141
of your appeal to the
fairer sex and move on.
176
00:07:03,437 --> 00:07:05,427
Or you can choose the cheerleader,
177
00:07:05,547 --> 00:07:08,080
quit your job and blow your life up.
178
00:07:08,182 --> 00:07:09,949
You know I'm not gonna do that.
179
00:07:11,185 --> 00:07:12,551
And why is that?
180
00:07:13,117 --> 00:07:15,203
Because I really care about my work
181
00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:17,562
and the people that I treat.
182
00:07:18,860 --> 00:07:20,670
Including Bonnie Plunkett.
183
00:07:20,695 --> 00:07:23,524
Which is why you're choosing
not to date her friend.
184
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,485
As long as Bonnie's your patient,
185
00:07:25,510 --> 00:07:27,043
it's completely off the table.
186
00:07:27,068 --> 00:07:29,068
She's gonna be my patient forever.
187
00:07:29,399 --> 00:07:30,819
We all have one of those.
188
00:07:30,844 --> 00:07:32,972
(Trevor chuckling)
189
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:34,808
Hey!
190
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:39,422
Adam put the new drinks
on the menu right away.
191
00:07:39,447 --> 00:07:41,914
And people love them. They're a hit.
192
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,460
And that makes me feel like
people love me and I'm a hit.
193
00:07:44,485 --> 00:07:46,319
And you know who I
have to thank for that?
194
00:07:46,576 --> 00:07:47,708
Me.
195
00:07:49,724 --> 00:07:53,358
I'm the one who said I need
to find a new purpose in life.
196
00:07:53,383 --> 00:07:55,538
God, I felt so stuck
197
00:07:55,563 --> 00:07:57,997
when I first came here,
and now I'm so productive.
198
00:07:58,176 --> 00:07:59,709
I'm so happy for you, Bonnie.
199
00:07:59,930 --> 00:08:01,834
Well, hang onto your happiness hat,
200
00:08:01,859 --> 00:08:04,086
'cause you may be out $35 a week.
201
00:08:04,211 --> 00:08:07,006
- What?
- I don't think I need therapy anymore.
202
00:08:08,391 --> 00:08:09,953
Go on.
203
00:08:10,445 --> 00:08:12,678
I'm serious... I just
needed a little confidence.
204
00:08:12,703 --> 00:08:14,436
And now there's nothing stopping me.
205
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:17,327
I can feel in my bones
my career is on the way.
206
00:08:17,352 --> 00:08:19,739
And I'm gonna grab it
and have a meteoric rise.
207
00:08:19,764 --> 00:08:21,731
And, you know, Adam is
gonna be so proud of me
208
00:08:21,756 --> 00:08:23,189
when they're bottling my mocktails
209
00:08:23,214 --> 00:08:24,767
and selling them in supermarkets.
210
00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:27,047
Until he starts resenting
me for outshining him,
211
00:08:27,072 --> 00:08:28,938
which is ridiculous
because I've done nothing
212
00:08:28,963 --> 00:08:30,396
but show up for him and his bar,
213
00:08:30,421 --> 00:08:32,976
but now that I make more money
than he does, I'm the enemy?
214
00:08:33,001 --> 00:08:35,401
Because I'll just be reminding
him of his personal failures.
215
00:08:35,426 --> 00:08:37,280
And he won't be able to
take it, so he'll leave.
216
00:08:37,305 --> 00:08:39,125
And without him, I'm lost and alone
217
00:08:39,150 --> 00:08:41,050
and I'll never be happy again.
218
00:08:41,075 --> 00:08:43,142
I think I need to come twice a week.
219
00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:46,723
How's Thursday?
220
00:08:46,748 --> 00:08:48,650
Can't do Thursday.
221
00:09:01,253 --> 00:09:03,229
Spinach, cucumber, cayenne pepper.
222
00:09:03,254 --> 00:09:04,869
And, no, I did not just have one.
223
00:09:04,894 --> 00:09:07,924
- (panting): Jill.
- What?
224
00:09:09,690 --> 00:09:12,649
Twice in one week.
What are the odds?
225
00:09:12,674 --> 00:09:15,485
I minored in statistics...
They're very low.
226
00:09:15,510 --> 00:09:17,844
Ah, well, we got to stop bumping
into each other like this.
227
00:09:17,869 --> 00:09:20,524
(laughing): We really do. Goodbye.
228
00:09:20,549 --> 00:09:22,315
Wait, you just got here.
229
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:25,695
I left my wallet at home.
230
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:26,920
Well, I can spot you.
231
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:28,131
Oh, no, no.
232
00:09:28,156 --> 00:09:29,567
They barely respect me here as it is.
233
00:09:29,591 --> 00:09:32,392
If a woman pays for my
lady boost, I'm finished.
234
00:09:32,861 --> 00:09:34,527
Goodbye.
235
00:09:37,059 --> 00:09:39,158
This is a fire code violation.
236
00:09:40,722 --> 00:09:42,604
Isn't he so hot?
237
00:09:46,282 --> 00:09:48,683
You look great... why
are you so dressed up?
238
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:51,922
I was told to expect a
Sex and the City vibe.
239
00:09:52,064 --> 00:09:54,998
You know, it's still just a
bar with barrels for tables.
240
00:09:56,801 --> 00:09:57,833
Look at us.
241
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:59,591
Out at a bar, martini glasses in hand,
242
00:09:59,616 --> 00:10:01,565
but we're not drinking, so
we won't wake up tomorrow
243
00:10:01,590 --> 00:10:03,256
with soul-crushing regret
244
00:10:03,281 --> 00:10:04,947
or our mug shots on the news.
245
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:06,626
- (laughs)
- Who needs another round?
246
00:10:06,651 --> 00:10:07,650
I do.
247
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:09,119
I don't have five hands.
Tammy, help me out.
248
00:10:09,144 --> 00:10:11,354
Mm, sure, I love
waitressing on my night off.
249
00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:14,077
I'm gonna hit the ladies' room.
250
00:10:14,102 --> 00:10:16,903
This little piglet has to go
"wee, wee, wee." (chuckles)
251
00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:19,083
You know, like the toe thing for kids.
252
00:10:19,107 --> 00:10:21,174
We got it, sweetheart.
253
00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:26,022
Hey. Real quick, while
Bonnie's not here,
254
00:10:26,124 --> 00:10:29,159
um, I ran into Trevor again,
accidentally on purpose.
255
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:30,660
Well, which one was it?
256
00:10:30,685 --> 00:10:32,986
Accidentally for him, on purpose for me.
257
00:10:33,088 --> 00:10:34,654
(chuckling)
258
00:10:34,756 --> 00:10:36,789
Oh, save the judgy face.
259
00:10:36,968 --> 00:10:38,134
He blew me off.
260
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,459
Oh, regardless, Jill.
261
00:10:39,484 --> 00:10:41,128
You're just trying to
see how close you can get
262
00:10:41,153 --> 00:10:43,387
to doing something wrong
without doing something wrong.
263
00:10:43,412 --> 00:10:44,711
And you know what I call that?
264
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,619
Doing something wrong.
265
00:10:48,036 --> 00:10:49,146
Adam says these are on the house,
266
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:50,481
but I disagree, so you can give me
267
00:10:50,505 --> 00:10:51,838
your money directly.
268
00:10:52,017 --> 00:10:53,850
Why is everything always about you?
269
00:10:53,875 --> 00:10:54,941
What's your problem?
270
00:10:55,043 --> 00:10:56,587
I finally found a guy I want to be with,
271
00:10:56,611 --> 00:10:57,658
and you won't let me.
272
00:10:57,683 --> 00:10:58,843
Well, unless it's my husband,
273
00:10:58,868 --> 00:10:59,978
I don't know what you're talking about.
274
00:11:00,003 --> 00:11:01,314
(scoffs) I don't want your husband.
275
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,159
I want your therapist.
276
00:11:03,261 --> 00:11:05,061
Oh. You sure you don't want Adam?
277
00:11:05,086 --> 00:11:06,386
I mean, no offense to Trevor.
278
00:11:06,411 --> 00:11:09,111
He's cute in a "won't you
be my neighbor" kind of way.
279
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,279
If you want to go out with Trevor,
280
00:11:10,304 --> 00:11:11,203
go out with him.
281
00:11:11,373 --> 00:11:12,806
But you said he's off-limits.
282
00:11:12,831 --> 00:11:14,642
Yeah, but that was before
I knew you were doodling,
283
00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:16,100
"Mrs. Jill...
284
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:18,642
whatever-his-last-name-is"
in your notebook.
285
00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:20,733
You don't know your
therapist's last name?
286
00:11:20,758 --> 00:11:22,558
I barely know your last name.
287
00:11:22,814 --> 00:11:24,714
The point is, if you don't like
288
00:11:24,739 --> 00:11:26,873
where I stand on something,
ask me again the next day.
289
00:11:26,898 --> 00:11:28,809
Thanks to menopause, I
will have either forgotten
290
00:11:28,834 --> 00:11:30,067
or changed my mind.
291
00:11:30,846 --> 00:11:31,988
You mean it?
292
00:11:32,013 --> 00:11:33,613
Of course I do. You're my friend.
293
00:11:33,638 --> 00:11:34,971
I want what's best for you.
294
00:11:35,446 --> 00:11:38,354
- That's very generous of you.
- It is.
295
00:11:38,854 --> 00:11:41,598
BT dubs, everybody at
this table owes me $8.50,
296
00:11:41,623 --> 00:11:43,189
and I haven't heard my Venmo ding.
297
00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:47,470
(sighs)
298
00:11:47,495 --> 00:11:48,561
You were right.
299
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:50,830
- I don't like to read.
- (door opens)
300
00:11:51,096 --> 00:11:52,395
(grunts)
301
00:11:53,435 --> 00:11:54,734
- Hey, babe.
- Hey.
302
00:11:55,096 --> 00:11:57,247
You and the ladies seemed
to have fun tonight.
303
00:11:57,272 --> 00:11:59,860
By the way, were you
the one who left a note
304
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,918
in the tip jar that
said, "Comb your hair"?
305
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:03,653
What? No. (chuckles)
306
00:12:03,678 --> 00:12:05,478
But now that a complete
stranger said it,
307
00:12:05,503 --> 00:12:07,236
why not give it a try?
308
00:12:07,697 --> 00:12:09,726
Anyway, it was cool
having you guys there.
309
00:12:09,751 --> 00:12:11,551
Yeah, we might make
"not-drinking" at your bar
310
00:12:11,576 --> 00:12:12,862
a regular Tuesday thing.
311
00:12:12,887 --> 00:12:14,253
I love it when you're happy.
312
00:12:14,278 --> 00:12:16,400
- I am.
- Mwah.
313
00:12:16,541 --> 00:12:18,441
- Although...
- Oh, boy.
314
00:12:19,594 --> 00:12:22,182
Jill said something to
me that didn't bother me
315
00:12:22,207 --> 00:12:25,008
at the time, but I'm starting
to realize it enrages me.
316
00:12:25,033 --> 00:12:26,632
She wants to date Trevor.
317
00:12:27,712 --> 00:12:29,549
- That's weird.
- Right?
318
00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:31,182
My best friend and my
therapist are gonna be
319
00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:32,638
talking about me during sex.
320
00:12:32,804 --> 00:12:34,684
(stammers) You really
think that's gonna happen?
321
00:12:34,709 --> 00:12:36,676
I talk about me during
sex. Why wouldn't they?
322
00:12:36,855 --> 00:12:39,055
Aren't you jumping the gun a little bit?
323
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,618
They haven't even gone on a date yet.
324
00:12:40,643 --> 00:12:42,258
Well, things don't
have to actually happen
325
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:43,983
for me to be upset about them.
326
00:12:44,008 --> 00:12:46,173
That's why I stopped
telling you about my dreams.
327
00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:47,797
Why don't you call Jill
328
00:12:47,822 --> 00:12:49,342
and find a way to work it out together?
329
00:12:49,752 --> 00:12:51,234
That sounds rational.
330
00:12:51,259 --> 00:12:53,226
Probably why it feels wrong.
331
00:12:53,251 --> 00:12:55,111
- Can we be done?
- Sure.
332
00:12:55,136 --> 00:12:56,639
But seriously...
333
00:12:56,664 --> 00:12:58,664
put a comb through your
hair every once in a while.
334
00:13:03,085 --> 00:13:05,085
♪ ♪
335
00:13:13,782 --> 00:13:15,481
♪ ♪
336
00:13:25,367 --> 00:13:27,401
(takes deep breath)
337
00:13:31,050 --> 00:13:32,268
Oh, no.
338
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,635
Now I'm "not-drinking" alone.
339
00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:45,934
Hey, do you know if he's in
there with a patient right now?
340
00:13:47,515 --> 00:13:49,215
Sorry.
341
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,783
You look like that neighbor
who knows what's going on.
342
00:13:52,090 --> 00:13:55,358
He has appointments at
11:00, 1:00 and 4:00.
343
00:13:55,523 --> 00:13:57,523
Thank you. (chuckles)
344
00:13:59,057 --> 00:14:00,623
(doorbell rings)
345
00:14:02,630 --> 00:14:03,897
- Jill.
- (chuckles)
346
00:14:03,922 --> 00:14:05,888
This is a... What are you... What...
347
00:14:07,403 --> 00:14:09,102
- Hi.
- (chuckles nervously)
348
00:14:10,248 --> 00:14:12,638
Um, you didn't come by the
juice place this morning,
349
00:14:12,663 --> 00:14:15,731
so I... I brought you a kale
smoothie with a lady boost.
350
00:14:15,756 --> 00:14:17,589
(chuckles) Wow.
351
00:14:19,914 --> 00:14:22,215
I have a folic acid deficiency.
352
00:14:23,428 --> 00:14:24,928
(chuckles)
353
00:14:24,953 --> 00:14:26,513
Well, this is a very thoughtful gesture.
354
00:14:26,538 --> 00:14:28,762
- (both laughing)
- Mmm!
355
00:14:28,787 --> 00:14:30,031
(chuckles): Whoa, a lot of ginger.
356
00:14:30,056 --> 00:14:31,385
- Ah. (chuckles)
- (clears throat)
357
00:14:31,426 --> 00:14:33,659
Okay, confession time.
358
00:14:34,602 --> 00:14:35,602
I like you.
359
00:14:35,828 --> 00:14:37,128
Whew.
360
00:14:37,332 --> 00:14:39,365
I've never been the first
one to say that before.
361
00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:41,267
(chuckles) Congratulations.
362
00:14:41,842 --> 00:14:44,737
- I'm flattered.
- (chuckles)
363
00:14:44,839 --> 00:14:46,305
Red-hot flattered.
364
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:47,440
(both chuckling)
365
00:14:47,542 --> 00:14:48,741
But...
366
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:53,079
- I cannot like you back.
- "Cannot" or "do not"?
367
00:14:53,104 --> 00:14:54,624
Because I talked to Bonnie,
368
00:14:54,649 --> 00:14:56,115
she gave us a big ole green light.
369
00:14:56,482 --> 00:14:57,760
Yay for Bonnie.
370
00:14:57,785 --> 00:14:58,851
(both laugh)
371
00:14:58,876 --> 00:15:02,778
But I still can't be interested.
372
00:15:02,803 --> 00:15:04,975
See, now, that was a
weird way to say that.
373
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,205
Your 1:00 will be here soon.
374
00:15:08,713 --> 00:15:10,482
I know what time it is.
375
00:15:11,633 --> 00:15:13,166
Actually, she's right, come on.
376
00:15:13,401 --> 00:15:14,500
(clears throat)
377
00:15:14,679 --> 00:15:16,279
Oh, boy. (sighs)
378
00:15:16,304 --> 00:15:18,538
(whispers): Be strong.
379
00:15:19,808 --> 00:15:21,541
Why can't you be interested in me?
380
00:15:21,853 --> 00:15:24,554
Because your friend is my patient,
381
00:15:24,579 --> 00:15:26,112
and that would be unethical.
382
00:15:26,214 --> 00:15:29,348
Well, is there a scenario
where we just don't tell anybody
383
00:15:29,373 --> 00:15:31,131
and it makes it that much hotter?
384
00:15:31,486 --> 00:15:34,120
Oh, how I've pondered
that very question.
385
00:15:34,222 --> 00:15:37,390
Mm. Unfortunately, all roads lead to no.
386
00:15:37,492 --> 00:15:39,559
So you're saying you've pondered me?
387
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,553
My ego wants to believe
388
00:15:41,578 --> 00:15:43,678
that you find me irresistible.
389
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:45,441
But...
390
00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:47,377
my shrink-y sense tells me
391
00:15:47,402 --> 00:15:50,002
that there's almost definitely
something else going on here.
392
00:15:50,103 --> 00:15:52,248
Yeah, what's going on is I'm
used to getting what I want,
393
00:15:52,273 --> 00:15:53,806
and I don't know what's happening.
394
00:15:53,908 --> 00:15:56,108
Interesting, and this is a situation
395
00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:57,922
where you've been told you
can't have what you want.
396
00:15:57,946 --> 00:15:59,679
First by Bonnie and then by me.
397
00:15:59,704 --> 00:16:00,970
So... ?
398
00:16:00,995 --> 00:16:03,282
So everyone has moments
where they want something
399
00:16:03,307 --> 00:16:04,605
that they can't have.
400
00:16:06,551 --> 00:16:08,120
(sighs): Everyone.
401
00:16:08,145 --> 00:16:11,013
The question is, why?
402
00:16:12,111 --> 00:16:14,244
How do you characterize
your relationships with men?
403
00:16:14,996 --> 00:16:17,621
- Well, they start out great...
- Mm-hmm.
404
00:16:17,988 --> 00:16:20,266
And usually end in disaster.
405
00:16:20,367 --> 00:16:22,011
That could stem from a
fractured relationship
406
00:16:22,036 --> 00:16:23,102
with a parent.
407
00:16:23,127 --> 00:16:25,261
How are things with you and your father?
408
00:16:25,604 --> 00:16:27,036
Not good.
409
00:16:28,409 --> 00:16:29,573
Tell me more.
410
00:16:30,285 --> 00:16:32,011
Oh, it's not much to tell.
411
00:16:32,036 --> 00:16:33,823
Just your basic "Mom kills herself,
412
00:16:33,848 --> 00:16:36,582
Dad wants nothing to do
with you anymore" situation.
413
00:16:38,287 --> 00:16:41,753
Jill, that sounds incredibly painful.
414
00:16:43,531 --> 00:16:44,930
It is.
415
00:16:47,516 --> 00:16:49,551
So what do you think, dinner?
416
00:16:50,398 --> 00:16:53,299
I think your feelings
have my face on them,
417
00:16:53,566 --> 00:16:56,435
but they have nothing to do with me.
418
00:16:57,138 --> 00:16:59,754
How are you doing this so quickly?
419
00:16:59,779 --> 00:17:01,874
I would slow it down
if you were paying me.
420
00:17:01,899 --> 00:17:03,332
(chuckles)
421
00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:05,190
(sighs)
422
00:17:05,336 --> 00:17:08,170
Well, if we can't date, then...
423
00:17:09,584 --> 00:17:10,883
can you be my therapist?
424
00:17:10,985 --> 00:17:12,818
Not as long as I'm treating Bonnie.
425
00:17:12,843 --> 00:17:14,430
God, why do you guys have so many rules?
426
00:17:14,455 --> 00:17:15,775
It's not like you're real doctors.
427
00:17:16,751 --> 00:17:19,818
I'm gonna tell myself that has
nothing to do with me, either.
428
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:23,673
Hey, sorry I'm late.
429
00:17:23,775 --> 00:17:26,209
Have you just left my therapist's bed?
430
00:17:26,234 --> 00:17:28,919
Did you talk about me during the deed?
431
00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:30,735
No.
432
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,582
Trevor and I will not be getting married
433
00:17:32,607 --> 00:17:35,241
and having adorable,
emotionally attuned babies.
434
00:17:35,266 --> 00:17:36,432
What happened?
435
00:17:36,935 --> 00:17:38,287
Well, long story short,
436
00:17:38,312 --> 00:17:40,246
he chose his relationship
with you over me.
437
00:17:40,271 --> 00:17:41,770
He did?
438
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,228
Wow.
439
00:17:43,419 --> 00:17:45,862
(chuckles): I have to
admit, I'm a little relieved.
440
00:17:46,404 --> 00:17:48,187
I thought you were okay with it.
441
00:17:48,212 --> 00:17:50,346
Well, who knows with me?
I'm all over the place.
442
00:17:50,896 --> 00:17:53,755
Poor Adam. No, he deserves it.
443
00:17:54,411 --> 00:17:56,973
Why don't we order some
mocktails and talk about
444
00:17:56,998 --> 00:17:59,331
all the many ways life
finds to disappoint us.
445
00:17:59,356 --> 00:18:01,110
Here's one: mocktails.
446
00:18:01,135 --> 00:18:02,535
They're starting to scare me.
447
00:18:03,099 --> 00:18:04,355
What do you mean?
448
00:18:04,380 --> 00:18:05,581
Back when I was drinking,
449
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,807
sometimes just knowing I
was about to have a drink
450
00:18:07,832 --> 00:18:10,366
gave me as much relief
as actually having one.
451
00:18:10,468 --> 00:18:12,001
Mm. I get that.
452
00:18:12,419 --> 00:18:14,190
Just putting a bottle of Dom on ice
453
00:18:14,215 --> 00:18:16,148
used to make me feel all
safe and warm. (groans)
454
00:18:16,515 --> 00:18:18,515
We drank so differently.
455
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,621
But, yeah, last night I was
making a mocktail at home,
456
00:18:23,646 --> 00:18:26,235
and I got the sense like
the cavalry was coming.
457
00:18:26,260 --> 00:18:27,493
It felt so good.
458
00:18:27,518 --> 00:18:29,518
And that felt dangerous.
459
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:32,542
How lame am I?
460
00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:34,747
I can't even handle pretend drinking.
461
00:18:35,623 --> 00:18:37,847
Oh, honey, you got to
do whatever you got to do
462
00:18:37,872 --> 00:18:39,305
to protect your sobriety.
463
00:18:39,484 --> 00:18:41,651
You know, if something
brings you closer to a drink,
464
00:18:41,676 --> 00:18:44,201
whatever that is, you shouldn't do it.
465
00:18:44,489 --> 00:18:47,990
It's why I can't eat
olives or go to Dollywood.
466
00:18:48,015 --> 00:18:49,315
That's a shame.
467
00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:51,173
Dolly Parton is a national treasure.
468
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,729
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey, Arlo.
469
00:18:52,754 --> 00:18:54,520
Hey, Bonnie. Can I
get you guys something?
470
00:18:54,699 --> 00:18:57,033
Club soda, no ice, no lime, no nothing.
471
00:18:57,206 --> 00:18:59,940
And I will have a Sparkly Pony, please.
472
00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:06,176
What? It doesn't bring
me closer to a drink.
473
00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:10,558
So, it turns out the list of things
474
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,740
I can't drink continues to get longer.
475
00:19:13,107 --> 00:19:14,693
Can't have cocktails.
476
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:15,904
Can't have mocktails.
477
00:19:15,929 --> 00:19:16,995
Can't have milk.
478
00:19:17,311 --> 00:19:18,888
I mean, I can, but it becomes unpleasant
479
00:19:18,913 --> 00:19:20,780
for the people around me.
480
00:19:20,865 --> 00:19:22,465
I am impressed.
481
00:19:22,568 --> 00:19:24,713
You saw what was happening and
you did what you needed to do
482
00:19:24,737 --> 00:19:26,136
to take care of yourself.
483
00:19:26,161 --> 00:19:28,472
- You were in your own corner.
- I was.
484
00:19:28,497 --> 00:19:30,050
And you know who I saw there?
485
00:19:30,075 --> 00:19:31,575
A guy named Trevor...
486
00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:34,526
Wells? Really?
487
00:19:35,914 --> 00:19:38,915
Huh, people at Ellis
Island clearly got bored.
488
00:19:39,323 --> 00:19:41,956
Really, Plunkett, you want to go there?
489
00:19:43,689 --> 00:19:45,389
Well, anyway, thank you.
490
00:19:45,414 --> 00:19:47,638
You could have chosen
Jill, but you chose me.
491
00:19:47,926 --> 00:19:51,238
My job is to take care of you,
and I take that very seriously.
492
00:19:51,263 --> 00:19:53,864
I know, but there were a
lot of people in my life
493
00:19:53,889 --> 00:19:56,489
who had that job and most
of them pooped the futon.
494
00:19:56,745 --> 00:19:57,982
But you were there for me,
495
00:19:58,007 --> 00:19:59,740
and my respect for you is up to here.
496
00:20:00,005 --> 00:20:01,738
And for what it's worth,
497
00:20:02,279 --> 00:20:03,707
Jill would've been lucky to have you.
498
00:20:03,732 --> 00:20:06,109
- You're a catch.
- Thank you.
499
00:20:06,578 --> 00:20:09,185
And did you say futon because
you know I sleep on one?
500
00:20:10,159 --> 00:20:12,860
This just in. Now you're here.
501
00:20:12,885 --> 00:20:17,885
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
36709
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.