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>> I THINK I'M A MAN.

I MEAN, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE A

MAN?

I'M A GREAT MAN TODAY.

I'M A TODAY'S MAN, RIGHT?

>> YEAH. OF COURSE YOU ARE.

I THINK WE'RE BOTH PERFECT

EXAMPLES OF GUYS WHO --

>> I WOULDN'T DO WELL AS A

CAVEMAN, RIGHT?

>> NO, BUT, I MEAN, YOU KNOW,

BEING A MAN TODAY MEANS A

DIFFERENT THING THAN IT DID AT

ANY TIME THROUGH HISTORY.

BEING A MAN TODAY MEANS BEING A

CONFIDENT DUDE WITH WHO YOU ARE

AND -- BUT ALSO NOT BEING AFRAID

TO TAKE CARE.

>> YOU GOT TO TAKE CARE OF

YOURSELF TODAY.

>> YOU GOT TO TAKE CARE OF WHAT

YOU GOT.

>> IT'S NOT CUTE IF YOU LOOK

LIKE A CAVEMAN.

>> NO, 'CAUSE GUESS WHAT -- IF

YOU'RE NOT TAKING CARE, YOU'RE A

BOY.

>> I DON'T THINK MEN HAVE EVER

BEEN RELAXED ABOUT THEIR

APPEARANCE, BUT I THINK THAT

SOCIETY HAS BEEN VERY RIGID

ABOUT THE ROLE OF MEN.

THOSE RULES HAVE BEEN LIFTED.

>> WHAT DOES MANLINESS MEAN?

YOU'RE GONNA GET DIFFERENT

ANSWERS.

YOU'RE GONNA GET ANSWERS THAT

ARE VERY...

...CARTOONISH EXAMPLES OF

MASCULINITY.

>> * HE-E-E-Y

>> I WOULD BE MAYBE THE WORST

GUY IN THE WORLD TO ASK THAT

QUESTION TO.

>> WE DON'T HAVE BARBERS.

WE DON'T HAVE BARTENDERS.

WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING.

I LIKE MY CHICK JOBS AND MY DUDE

JOBS.

CHICKS FLYING PLANES, DUDES

WORKING AT THE SALON -- WHAT THE

HELL'S GOING ON?

>> WE'VE NEVER HAD THIS IN

HISTORY.

>> PEOPLE WILL DEFINITELY JUDGE

YOU BY THE WAY YOU LOOK.

>> HAIR HAS ALWAYS SIGNIFIED

POWER.

>> YOU KNOW WHO HAD A GREAT

BEARD?

GEORGE BERNARD SHAW.

>> IF THEY ONLY KNEW HOW FOOLISH

THEY LOOK.

>> I THINK WE'RE BECOMING MORE

PREOCCUPIED WITH OUR LOOKS.

>> REAL MEN DON'T HANG OUT WITH

MODELS, AND THEY DON'T TWEET.

>> ALL THIS CRAZY GROOMING...

>> OOH!

>> ...IT AIN'T HEALTHY, AND IT

AIN'T RIGHT.

>> BACK, SACK, AND CRACK.

OHH, RIGHT.

>> ARE WOMEN TURNING MEN INTO

BARBIES?

>> WELL, I THINK A LOT OF WOMEN

TODAY WANT MEN TO MAN UP.

>> OH, MY GOD!

AAH!

>> WHEN IT COMES TO GROOMING,

FASHION, BODY-IMAGE SORTS OF

ISSUES, MEN RETREAT TOWARD THOSE

TYPES OF BODY IMAGES THAT

FURTHER DIFFERENTIATE WOMEN FROM

MEN.

>> IF YOU CREATE A PERSONA, THEN

THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE TO STICK

WITH, BECAUSE NO ONE IS GONNA

RECOGNIZE YOU OR NO ONE'S GONNA

WANT TO SEE YOU AS THE OTHER

THING.

>> MOUSTACHES.

UH...YOU KNOW, A BIG FEATURE OF

THE '70s.

PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE STAYED

THERE.

>> IT'S BEEN A PART OF MY LIFE

FOR 35 YEARS NOW.

>> I THINK FACIAL HAIR IS VERY

SEXY, UM, OR -- OR NOT.

>> I FEEL LIKE IT'S SOMETHING

THAT MEN CAN DO THAT WOMEN DON'T

DO.

>> MOUSTACHES ON MEN -- I

USUALLY THINK OF PERVERTS, QUITE

HONESTLY.

>> I LOVE, LOVE IT.

I LOVE FACIAL HAIR.

I THINK IT'S

REALLY EXCITING.

IT'S A REALLY EXCITING WAY TO

PROVE THAT YOU'RE AN ADULT.

>> HANDLEBARS ON A MAN MAKE THEM

LOOK LIKE A DOUCHEBAG.

>> THE ORIGIN OF THE MOUSTACHE

CAME -- I WAS DOING A SHOW FOR

MTV A FEW YEARS AGO CALLED

"I BET YOU WILL."

"I BET YOU WILL" COMING AT YOU!

WE GOT MORE MONEY TO GIVE AWAY

RIGHT NOW!

AND WHO WANTS TO TAKE SOME HOME?

I'LL GIVE YOU ANOTHER 100 BUCKS

TO SUCK DOWN THAT OTHER PINT OF

CLAM JUICE.

>> YOU READY?

>> 20 SECONDS. ON YOUR MARKS....

GET SET...GO.

WE ALL POOLED OUR MONEY AND

DECIDED TO SEE WHO COULD GROW

THE BEST PORN-STAR MOUSTACHE.

AND SO, AFTER SIX TO EIGHT

WEEKS, WE KIND OF ALL CAME BACK

TO THE FIRST DAY OF SHOOTING

WITH OUR PORN-STAR MOUSTACHES,

AND I HAD THIS, YOU KNOW,

FANTASTIC HANDLEBAR, HORSESHOE

REPRESENTATION AND LOST TO A GUY

WHO HAD A MUCH BETTER

COP/PLUMBER, "COMING TO FIX YOUR

PIPES" KIND OF MOUSTACHE.

WELL, ONCE I GREW IT OUT, IT WAS

OF THOSE WHERE I KEPT IT THROUGH

THE WHOLE SEASON OF SHOOTING AS

WE WERE SHOOTING THE SHOW.

AND WHEN WE WERE DONE SHOOTING,

I WAS LIKE "I

KIND OF LIKE IT.

I'M GONNA EMBRACE MY INNER PORN

STAR AND RIDE IT OUT."

>> I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE, WHEN

THEY THINK "MOUSTACHE," THEY

THINK KIND OF SKEEVY, CHILD

MOLESTER, PEDOPHILE, RIGHT?

AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, IF YOU

WANT TO GROW A MOUSTACHE, IT

DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN YOU'RE

A DEVIANT.

>> YOU KNOW, A GUY WITH A

MOUSTACHE NEEDS TO BE A GUY THAT

HAS A CIGARETTE DANGLING OUT OF

HIS MOUTH AND WORKING IN A

FACTORY.

I DON'T LIKE A GUY WITH A

MOUSTACHE THAT'S WALKING AROUND

WILLIAMSBURG WITH HIS...

LISTEN TO

CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH.

>> AND THEN CERTAIN GUYS JUST

LOOK AN IDIOT.

I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.

I LOOK LIKE I'M PLAYING AN

UNDERCOVER COP IN A SKETCH

COMEDY WHEN I TRY TO GROW A

MOUSTACHE.

>> MANY PEOPLE LOOK RIDICULOUS

IN MOUSTACHES.

YOU'VE ALWAYS WORN ONE WELL.

AND I WOULD TELL YOU IF I

THOUGHT YOU LOOKED RIDICULOUS.

AND YOU CAN TELL ME, 'CAUSE THIS

DOES LOOK RIDICULOUS.

>> NO, I THINK IT WORKS.

>> BUT I THINK EARLY, WHEN I HAD

NO MONEY TO PROMOTE WHAT I WAS

DOING -- NOBODY KNEW WHO I

WAS -- I CAME UP WITH A LOOK

'CAUSE IT WAS A WAY TO SELL IT.

>> IT GETS ME JOBS. IT DOES.

IT'S JUST PART OF IT.

I WOULD SHAVE IT ONE DAY, TWO

WAYS -- ONE, IF I WAS EVER GONNA

COMMIT A CRIME AND GO

UNDERGROUND, WHICH I MIGHT.

>> YEAH.

>> BECAUSE IF I SHAVED IT OFF

AND WORE A BASEBALL CAP AND THIS

OLD WIG I HAVE THAT

STEPHEN DORFF WORE IN

"CECIL B. DeMENTED" THAT HAS

BANGS AND I PUT IT ON -- AND,

REALLY, I LOOK LIKE A PERVERT

WAY MORE.

AND THEN I ALSO THOUGHT MY FINAL

APPEARANCE -- LIKE, IF I REALLY

WANTED TO GIVE THE AUDIENCE WHAT

THEY DESERVE -- MY LAST SHRED OF

SANITY -- I WOULD HAVE A NERVOUS

BREAKDOWN ONSTAGE AND SHAVE OFF

MY MOUSTACHE AND EAT IT.

AND THAT WOULD BE HOW I WOULD

RETIRE THEN.

SO, I THINK OF DIFFERENT

THEATRICS I CAN DO WITH IT.

>> I'D PAY TO SEE THAT SHOW.

>> YEAH, WELL, OKAY.

IT'D BE MY LAST ONE.

>> OKAY.

>> YOU CAN'T LET THE MOUSTACHE

WEAR YOU.

YOU'VE GOT TO WEAR THE

MOUSTACHE.

AND WHEN YOU OWN IT, YOU PROJECT

A TOTALLY DIFFERENT ENERGY AND

SENSE OF PURPOSE.

BUT, YOU KNOW, OWNING A

PENCIL-THIN MOUSTACHE IS VERY

DIFFERENT TO OWNING A TRUCKER.

I MEAN, THERE'S -- THAT'S A

DIFFERENT QUANTUM.

THROUGHOUT THE AGES, THERE'S

BEEN THIS SENSE OF AUTHORITY

WITH HAVING A MOUSTACHE.

I THINK IT'S A SIGN OF

MASCULINITY AND LEADERSHIP.

>> THOSE COARSE FOLLICLES ARE

THE VERY ESSENCE OF MASCULINITY.

WHAT MANY PEOPLE DON'T KNOW IS

HOW COMMON THE MOUSTACHE IS IN

NATURE.

FOR EXAMPLE, SOME MEXICAN MOLLY

FISH HAVE A MOUSTACHE.

RESEARCHERS FOUND THAT FEMALE

MOLLIES WILL ONLY BREED WITH THE

MUSTACHIOED MALES.

THERE'S ALSO THE

EMPEROR TAMARIN, THE INCA TERN,

AND, FINALLY, THE WALRUS.

>> TASTES LIKE GOOD, HOT

QUAKER OATMEAL.

>> HUMAN MOUSTACHES ALSO COME IN

ALL SHAPES AND SIZES -- THE

PENCIL-THIN...

>> YEAH!

>> ...THE CHEVRON....

THE SALVADOR DALí...

THE FU MANCHU.

YOU'VE GOT YOUR HANDLEBAR, AND

PERHAPS EVEN MORE DARING...

>> HMM.

>> ...THE PETITE HANDLEBAR...

AND, OF COURSE, THE TOOTHBRUSH.

>> DEEP DOWN AND SECRETLY, EVERY

GUY WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS

LIKE WITH A MOUSTACHE.

AND, YOU KNOW, TOO OFTEN, YOU

KNOW, PEOPLE GROW OUT A BEARD,

AND AS THEY'RE SHAVING IT DOWN,

THEY'LL SHAVE IT INTO DIFFERENT

STYLES OF MOUSTACHE JUST TO

CHECK IT OUT FOR THAT MOMENT IN

THE MIRROR.

MORGAN AND I WERE WORKSHOPPING

IDEAS AROUND HOW HE COULD

TANGIBLY GET INVOLVED IN

NOVEMBER, BUT HE COULDN'T SHAVE

ON THE 1st OF NOVEMBER, AND HE'S

HAD THIS ICONIC MOUSTACHE FOR

EIGHT YEARS, SO WE CAME UP WITH

THE CONCEPT OF A REVERSE

MOVEMBER, WHERE HE PUTS A BOUNTY

ON HIS MOUSTACHE IN TERMS OF THE

AMOUNT HE'S GONNA RAISE, AND IF

HE HITS THAT, HE'S GONNA SHAVE

DOWN ON THE 1st OF DECEMBER.

>> SO, I JUST WANT TO GET A

LITTLE OF THE LENGTH TAKEN OFF

OF THE HAIR 'CAUSE I'M GETTING A

LITTLE POUFY.

>> OH, OKAY.

>> SO, JUST TAKE A LITTLE BIT

OUT.

SO, LIKE, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF

THIS MOUSTACHE?

YOU THINK IT'S ALL RIGHT?

>> YEAH.

>> YOU THINK MOUSTACHES ARE GOOD

ON FELLAS?

IT'S A GOOD THING FOR

MOUSTACHES?

>> YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.

>> YEAH?

>> VERY GOOD.

>> HOW'S IT GONNA LOOK WHEN I

SHAVE IT OFF?

>> IF YOU SHAVE IT OFF?

>> YEAH.

>> OH, I DON'T THINK SO.

IT'S NOT FOR YOU.

>> YOU DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA

LOOK GOOD?

>> NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

>> YOU THINK I SHOULD KEEP IT,

TOO?

>> YEAH.

>> THAT'S TWO VOTES.

TWO -- TWO VOTES FROM TWO

BARBERS.

>> HOW WAS THAT?

>> IT WAS GREAT, MAN.

>> AWESOME.

>> ALTHOUGH ELI TOLD ME I

SHOULDN'T SHAVE OFF MY

MOUSTACHE.

I MEAN, IT FITS YOU, YOU KNOW?

IT FITS YOU, YOU KNOW?

IT LOOKS GOOD.

>> THANK YOU.

HAVE A GOOD DAY.

>> YOU'RE WELCOME.

SEE YOU.

>> WHEN ALL THREE GUYS IN THE

BARBERSHOP TELL YOU NOT TO

SHAVE IT OFF, THAT'S -- I'M

LIKE, "REALLY?"

HOW UGLY AM I IF I

REALLY SHOULD KEEP THIS?

>> WITH MORGAN, IT'S -- I FEEL

LIKE IT'S MORE HE EXUDES A SORT

OF A PARTICULAR KIND OF ENERGY

THAT SORT OF TRANSCENDS ANYTHING

HE COULD DO WITH HIS HAIR OR --

OR OR HIS FACE.

>> I LIKE IT WHEN ANYBODY KEEPS

SOMETHING LIKE THAT THAT THAT'S

THAT KIND OF SPECIFIC LONGER

THAN YOU THINK THEY'RE GOING TO,

BECAUSE THEN IT COMES WITH ITS

OWN AIR OF AUTHENTICITY AS

OPPOSED TO SEEMING GIMMICKY.

>> YOU DO START TO BECOME TIED

TO THINGS.

YOU START TO BECOME TIED TO A

LOOK.

YOU START TO BECOME TIED TO AN

IDENTITY.

AND, YOU KNOW, ULTIMATELY, I

DON'T WANT MY IDENTITY JUST TO

BE HINGED UPON A MOUSTACHE.

YOU KNOW, I WOULD RATHER MY

IDENTITY BE HINGED UPON, YOU

KNOW, MY WORK.

UH, THIS IS THE CELEBRATION THAT

IS THE END OF MOVEMBER.

YOU KNOW, OVER THE LAST MONTH,

PEOPLE ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY

AND AROUND THE WORLD HAVE BEEN

RAISING MONEY FOR

PROSTATE-CANCER RESEARCH, AND I

WAS ONE OF THOSE FOLKS.

WHAT IF I RAISE MONEY TO GET

PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY LET ME SHAVE

OFF THIS MOUSTACHE THAT I

LITERALLY HAVE NOT HAD OFF MY

FACE IN ABOUT EIGHT YEARS?

SO, TONIGHT WILL BE THE FIRST

TIME THAT SOME OF THIS SKIN WILL

HAVE SEEN, LIKE, FRESH AIR IN

ALMOST A DECADE.

HERE WE GO. YOU READY?

HERE IT COMES.

OH, IT FEELS -- IT FEELS SO

WEIRD WASHING MY FACE WITH NO

MOUSTACHE ON.

I DO LOOK 10 YEARS YOUNGER.

BUT I'M 10 YEARS YOUNGER WITH A

GIANT FOREHEAD AND RECEDING

HAIRLINE.

ALL RIGHT.

BEST PART IS IT'LL GROW BACK.

YOU KNOW, I KIND OF JUST LOOK

LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE NOW, YOU

KNOW?

THAT'S THE THING.

IT'S LIKE I KIND OF JUST -- YOU

KNOW, WHAT I LOVED ABOUT MY

HANDLEBAR IS THAT NOBODY HAD

THAT HANDLEBAR MOUSTACHE, YOU

KNOW?

THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE THAT

OCCUPY LEGO STREET.

YOU KNOW, NOW IT'S LIKE I

ACTUALLY LOOK MORE LIKE MY SON,

WHICH IS PROBABLY WHAT MY SON IS

MORE FREAKED ABOUT BY.

YOU KNOW, HE WAS TOTALLY FINE.

WE WERE PLAYING, YOU KNOW, JUST

HANGING OUT, WATCHING CARTOONS.

THE MINUTE I POINTED OUT THAT I

SHAVED IT OFF AND HE REALIZED

"OH, MY GOD, IT'S

GONE," HE, LIKE, LOST IT.

>> I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SHAVE

IT!

>> AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

>> I DID NOT WANT YOU TO SHAVE

IT!

>> BUT HOW DO I LOOK, THOUGH,

WITHOUT IT?

>> YOU DON'T LOOK ANY GOOD.

>> NO?

BUT IS IT OKAY?

OH, BUDDY, WHAT?

>> I DIDN'T WANT YOU

TO SHAVE YOUR MOUSTACHE OFF.

>> OHH, IT'S OKAY.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE IT.

>> YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE IT

TILL JUST NOW.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE IT.

DO I STILL LOOK LIKE DADDY?

>> DO I STILL LOOK LIKE DADDY?

LOOK.

>> OH, COME HERE, BUDDY.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE IT TILL I

JUST SAID IT.

THERE HASN'T BEEN A LOT STUFFED

INTO THAT BRAIN YET AS A LITTLE

KID, SO THE THINGS THAT ARE IN

THERE ARE LIKE, YOU KNOW -- ARE

LIKE, "LEGOS, TOYS, PLAYGROUND,

MOUSTACHES.

OH, MY GOD, THE MOUSTACHE IS

GONE!

AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

YOU WANT TO RIDE ON MY

SHOULDERS?

>> YES.

WELL...

I'M GONNA CARRY...

HOW'S THAT?

LAKEN WASN'T VERY HAPPY WITH

THE LACK OF MOUSTACHE, SO HE

ASKED ME TO WEAR THIS ONE.

SO, NOW I'VE GOT A REPLACEMENT

MOUSTACHE.

HOW'S MY REPLACEMENT MOUSTACHE,

LAKEN?

>> IT'S GOOD.

>> IT'S GOOD?

>> WILL, LET ME ASK YOU A

QUESTION.

MOUSTACHES ARE COOL FOR DUDES,

BUT HAVE YOU EVER -- YOU EVER

DATED A GAL THAT'S GOT A LITTLE

ACTION UP TOP?

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

I ACTUALLY DATED A GAL WHO WAS

FROM THE CONTINENT -- FROM

EUROPE.

AND SHE WAS -- I'M NOT GONNA SAY

SHE WAS MUSTACHIOED, BUT --

>> OR MUSTACHED.

>> OR -- IT WOULD BE

"MUSTACHIOED."

>> WOULD IT REALLY?

>> YEAH.

BUT SHE HAD HAIR ON HER UPPER

LIP A LITTLE BIT, AND SHE HAD

THIS BLEACHING...

>> STRATEGY.

>> STRATEG-- GREAT.

BLEACHING STRATEGY, WHICH WAS A

CREAM.

THAT WAS HER STRATEGY.

IT WAS APPLIED WITH A STICK.

IT LOOKED LIKE A TONGUE

DEPRESSOR.

>> SO, SHE LET YOU WATCH THIS?

>> NO, I JUST -- I FORGET HOW I

FOUND OUT ABOUT IT, BUT SHE ALSO

DID HER FOREARMS, WHICH I

THOUGHT WAS VERY STRANGE.

>> SO, YOU PROBABLY HAD TO FIGHT

A COUPLE OF DUDES TO DATE HER,

RIGHT?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- SHE WAS A

VERY SEXY LADY.

SHE WAS HALF SPANISH AND HALF

FRENCH.

>> HALF WOOKIE, TOO, IT SOUNDS

LIKE.

>> YEAH, WELL, SHE HAD HAIR

UNDER HER ARMS.

I MEAN, SHE WAS FRENCH.

I THINK I MENTIONED THAT.

>> YOU EVER GET A LOOK AT HER

BACK?

I NEVER DID.

I FELT IT ONCE.

>> PEOPLE OFTEN ASK ME ABOUT MY

BEARD AND, LIKE, YOU KNOW, "WHY

DO YOU HAVE A BEARD?"

AND I ALWAYS SAY, "WOULD YOU ASK

ADRIEN BRODY WHY HE HAS A GIANT

NOSE?"

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, BUT I

DO SAY THAT.

>> I THINK FACIAL HAIR IN

GENERAL IS PERSON-TO-PERSON.

>> A GIRL SAID THAT SHE

PREFERRED THE BEARD.

WHO SAID THAT?

MANY WOMEN TOLD ME THEY

PREFERRED THE BEARD.

>> I'M DEFINITELY A FULL-BEARD

GIRL.

>> I THINK BEARDS ARE A LOT OF

UPKEEP, BUT IF YOU LOOK GOOD

WITH A BEARD, YOU KNOW, IT'S A

REALLY GOOD LOOK FOR SOME

PEOPLE.

>> I THINK FACIAL HAIR IS

SOMETHING THAT IS A SLIPPERY

SLOPE WITH PEOPLE.

>> SOMETIMES THE BEARD EXPLODES

IN, LIKE, A WRATHFUL, HUGE

BUSHINESS.

>> I WILL SAY THAT I HAVE BEEN

UNWILLINGLY KISSED BY A MAN WHO

HAD A BEARD, AND THAT WAS A

LITTLE BIT UNPLEASANT -- MORE SO

FOR THE BEARD THAN FOR THE KISS.

>> WE DEFINITELY HAVE AN

EPIDEMIC IN OUR CULTURE WHERE

MAN-AGED HUMAN MALES ARE STUCK

IN KIND OF BOYHOOD.

THIS IS JUST HOW A HUMAN MALE

LOOKS.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T FIT INTO,

LIKE, THE TRADITIONAL, LIKE,

"OH, HE'S GOT A JOB AND A NICE

CAR AND, YOU KNOW,

CLEAN-SHAVEN."

WHAT'S THIS?

PRETTY GOOD BEARDS TO SEE IN

WALNUT CREEK.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

THAT'S SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW

ABOUT.

OH, THANK YOU.

HOW YOU DOING?

>> HI.

>> YEAH?

>> WE'RE SWEDISH, YEAH.

>> OH, YEAH.

>> HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT

COMPETING?

COMPETITIVE FACIAL HAIR, OR AS I

MIGHT NEED TO START CALLING IT,

BEARD BUILDING, IS A SPORT

INSOFAR AS BODY BUILDING IS A

SPORT IN THAT YOU WORK FOR A

LONG TIME ON SCULPTING AND

BUILDING AND NURTURING

SOMETHING, AND THEN THE ACTUAL

SPORTING EVENT IS YOU SHOWING

IT.

OBVIOUSLY, SOME BEARDSMEN'S

TRAINING IS A LITTLE LESS

ATHLETIC THAN OTHERS, BUT IT'S

STILL A SPORT, NONETHELESS.

THE WAY TO GET THE BEST BEARD IS

TO BE IN THE BEST HEALTH.

MY FIRST LAW OF FACIAL HAIR --

HEALTHY MAN, HEALTHY BEARD.

I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, AND,

YOU KNOW, I THINK ABOUT DIETARY

DECISIONS AND I THINK ABOUT WHAT

AM I DOING TO MY BODY -- WHAT'S

GOING IN -- AND, YOU KNOW, AM I

STRESSED OUT?

THESE SORT OF THINGS.

IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT THE

RESIDUE OF A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE

CAN BE GOOD HAIR ON THE HEAD OR

ON THE FACE.

TRAINING IS ALMOST LIKE A

MEDITATION, AND IF YOU GET

SERIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING, YOU PUT

IN THE TIME AND, YOU KNOW, YOU

SEE THE RESULTS OVER TIME.

>> HE'S A SLAVE TO HIS BEARD,

SO, THEREFORE, I THINK IT'S

DEFEATING.

IF YOUR BEARD CONTROLS YOU

THEN YOU'RE IN

TROUBLE.

>> PEOPLE OFTEN ASK, YOU KNOW,

WHY IS MY HEAD HAIR DIFFERENT

THAN MY FACIAL HAIR?

AND, LIKE, THIS IS MY BOY HAIR

THAT I WAS BORN WITH, AND THIS

IS MY MAN HAIR, WHEN I BECAME A

MAN, AND THIS IS A TOOL THAT I

CAN EXPRESS..."MAN."

I MEAN, IT'S JUST PURE MAN.

>> PEOPLE HAVE ASSOCIATIONS --

HISTORICAL ASSOCIATIONS AND

PERSONAL ASSOCIATIONS -- TO THE

BEARD.

SO, THEY LOOK AT A FACE, AND

THEY EITHER THINK "SANTA," OR

THEY THINK "SATAN."

AND YOU, AS THE BEARDED MAN,

HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU'RE BEING

READ.

>> ALL OF MEN'S FACIAL

EXPRESSION EVOLVED FOR

SIGNALING.

THERE'S ALL KINDS OF OTHER

ANIMALS WHO DO NOT HAVE BEARDS

BECAUSE THAT WASN'T LINKED WITH

COURTSHIP AND WITH WINNING.

>> I DON'T THINK IT'S HELPING

HAVING A BEARD DOWN TO YOUR

WAIST.

IT MAY BE.

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M SURE THERE'S SOME JOB THAT

CALLS FOR THAT, BUT ME

PERSONALLY -- IT'S NOT SOMETHING

I WOULD DO.

>> I THINK YOU'RE CONTROLLED BY

YOUR LOOK, YOU KNOW, AS FAR AS

YOU LET IT BE, YOU KNOW, AS FAR

AS WHAT YOU DO, AND WHAT YOU DO

IS SOMETIMES ABOUT YOUR LINE OF

WORK.

IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOUR WORK.

IT'S WHO YOU ARE.

BOY, THAT SOUNDED GOOD.

>> IT DID.

>> GOD, I'M -- WRITE THAT DOWN.

IS SOMEBODY WRITING THIS?

>> SO, THIS IS MY MAKESHIFT

TROPHY CASE, AND I'D LIKE TO

SHOW YOU A FEW OF MY TROPHIES.

OVER MY BEARD CAREER, I HAVE

AMASSED TWO FIRST-PLACE WORLD

TITLES, ONE THIRD-PLACE WORLD

TITLE, SIX BEST IN SHOWS, SOME

FIRST PLACES IN DIVISIONS THAT

I'VE DONE.

PROBABLY MY MOST PRIZED ONE --

THIS IS MY FIRST-PLACE NATURAL

FULL BEARD FROM THE

2007 WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE

CHAMPIONSHIPS.

IT ALLOWED ME WRITE MY BOOK, IT

ALLOWED ME TO THINK ABOUT GOING

PRO, AND IT ALSO SOLIDIFIED ME

AS, LIKE, A WORLD-CLASS

BEARDSMAN AND THAT THIS IS WHAT

I WAS GONNA BE DOING.

"BEARDSMAN" -- "BEARD" AND

"SPORTSMAN" PUT TOGETHER.

MY EXPERIENCE, MY BEARD -- LIKE

I SAID, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN

SLACKING, BUT I'M TIGHTENING UP

MY GAME, AND I THINK I --

I KNOW I STILL HAVE IT.

THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS, THE GOAL

IS TO GO TO BEARD COMPETITIONS

AND WIN AND TO DO WELL, TO RACK

THINGS UP, TO KIND OF GO AND

PROSPER AND PROMOTE THE

COMPETITIONS AND, OF COURSE,

MYSELF.

>> I THINK BEARD AND MOUSTACHE

COMPETITIONS ARE, FOR LACK OF A

BETTER WORD, PRETTY GAY.

LIKE -- I MEAN, THAT'S SOMETHING

I'M -- I-I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S SOMETHING I'M DEFINITELY

NOT INTERESTED IN, AND I THINK

IT'S PROBABLY JUST A HUGE WASTE

OF TIME.

>> I DON'T LIKE IT.

I DON'T LIKE IT.

I DON'T LIKE -- I DON'T LIKE ANY

FORM OF VISUAL COMPETITION,

'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS

THOUGHT I WAS, LIKE, A GOOFY,

NONPHYSICAL PERSON AS A KID, SO

I KIND OF WIN IN MY HEAD A

LITTLE BIT.

SO, I SEE NOTHING DIFFERENT

BETWEEN BEARDING AND THE

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT

ISSUE.

>> I KNOW FOR A FACT IT'S NOT A

REAL SPORT.

AND I WOULD NEVER, EVER BE

CONSIDERED A PROFESSIONAL

ATHLETE IN ANY CATEGORY, ANY

WAY -- NOT EVEN, YOU KNOW,

BOWLING.

>> OKAY, ARE WE MOVING ON TO THE

FULL BEARD, OR ARE WE DOING --

WE'RE GOING FULL-BEARD, LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN.

WE'RE GOING FULL-BEARD RIGHT

NOW.

THIS IS THE BIG ONE.

>> SOMETIMES I'LL GO TO A

COMPETITION, THOUGH, AND, YOU

KNOW, IT'S THIS, LIKE,

LOCAL-YOKEL THING.

>> IS THERE SOME KIND OF

DRUMROLL MUSIC OR SOMETHING?

>> AND I'LL CLEARLY HAVE THE

BEST BEARD, AND THEY'LL GIVE IT

TO SOMEBODY BECAUSE AMERICANS

ARE SO HARD UP ABOUT THE

UNDERDOG.

>> OKAY. HERE WE GO.

>> AND THAT JUST MAKES BEARD

COMPETITIONS LOOK STUPID.

>> OHH! HERE FROM THE EAST.

>> THE BLOODLINE IS SAFE.

I SUCCESSFULLY DEFENDED MY

TITLE.

>> YOU SHOULD TRY THE MOJO

CHEDDAR.

>> OH, I GOT ONE OF THOSE.

>> AREN'T THEY GOOD?

>> WHAT ARE YOU HIDING UNDER

THAT BEARD, HONEY?

YOU KNOW, THE AMERICANS -- I

FEEL LIKE THE BIGGEST THING THEY

CAN GAIN IS TO GO SEE HOW THE

ELDER STATESMEN, THE EUROPEANS,

HAVE BEEN DOING IT FOR 20 YEARS.

I'M IN LEOGANG, AUSTRIA, FOR THE

EUROPEAN BEARD AND MOUSTACHE

CHAMPIONSHIPS.

THIS IS IT.

THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR.

THIS IS ME IN MY ELEMENT.

DRINKING COFFEE IN A SMALL,

SUBURBAN SHOPPING MECCA --

THAT'S NOT ME.

THAT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, TAKING A

LITTLE BREAK IN BETWEEN WORLD

CONQUEST AND EXCITING TRAVEL.

>> COMING TO THE ALPS, THIS IS

STUFF SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER SEE

IN THEIR LIFE.

IT'S THE SETTING THAT EVERY

FAIRY TALE EVER TOOK PLACE IN,

AND TO COME SEE IT AND SEE THAT

IT'S REAL IS ALMOST AS IF THOSE

FAIRY TALES ARE REAL, AND IT'S

NOT THAT THE FAIRY TALES ARE

REAL -- IT'S JUST THAT THEY

COULD BE REAL.

>> GUY! GUY!

>> CAN I SHAKE YOUR HAND?

>> YEAH, OF COURSE.

>> HI.

>> HOW YOU DOING?

>> DO PEOPLE DO SOMETHING LIKE

THAT HERE?

>> YOU GUYS -- OH, YEAH.

>> YEAH?

>> THEN THEY GET --

>> DOES ANYONE TOUCH YOU?

>> YEAH, AND, YOU KNOW, AND IT'S

LIKE IF I JUST RAN UP TO YOU AND

GRABBED YOUR BREASTS.

>> OH, PERFECT. THANKS.

YOU'D BE OFFENDED, WOULDN'T YOU?

>> YEAH.

>> IT IS 'CAUSE I LOOK LIKE A

VIKING?

>> NO!

>> IF I WIN --

>> OW!

>> NO, HE PULLED ON MY BEARD.

>> THEY DO THAT A LOT TO YOU?

YEAH. THAT'S -- THIS IS WHEN

SHIT GOES DOWN, YEAH.

HEY, HEY.

>> HEY.

>> YOU WANT TO DIE,

>> YEP, YEP.

YOU KNOW, I'M STARTING TO WORRY

A LITTLE MORE.

IT'S THE BAVARIANS WHO ARE THE

FULL-BEARD NATURAL GUYS.

>> YEAH.

>> OH, SHIT.

>> THAT'S TRUE.

>> I AM GOING HOME RIGHT --

>> AND NOW YOU'RE WORRIED THAT

IT'S RIGGED.

>> NOW IT'S NOT ONLY A

HOME-FIELD ADVANTAGE...

>> MM-HMM.

>> ...THIS IS, LIKE, THEIR

CATEGORY...

>> YEP.

>> ...AND THEIR CONTEST.

>> MM-HMM.

>> OOH, MAN.

>> YEAH.

>> I WOULD BE THRILLED TO WIN

THIS.

BEARD TEAM USA IS AMERICA'S TEAM

THAT REPRESENTS THE

UNITED STATES IN INTERNATIONAL

COMPETITION.

I THINK THE SPORT IS AT A POINT

WHERE I DON'T NEED TO SAY THAT

I'M AMERICAN CHAMPION.

I NEED TO BE ON THE FRONT LINE

BLOWING THE SPORT UP.

SO MUCH OF THIS IS IN THE MIND,

AND I GO INTO THESE COMPETITIONS

OF THE MIND THAT I'VE ALREADY

WON.

THAT'S GOING TO AFFECT HOW I

WALK, HOW I SMILE, HOW I DIGEST

MY FOOD, YOU KNOW, LIKE, MY SKIN

TONE, EVERYTHING.

AND I GET INTO MY ZEN SPACE, AND

I JUST BECOME A ROCK.

WHO WAS SITTING HERE BEFORE ME?

>> UM...A COMPETITOR.

>> IN THEORY.

OH, OKAY.

>> OH...UM...

>> I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHAT

THE CHI WAS THAT I WAS SITTING

IN.

>> TEA?

>> THE CHI.

>> CHI? WHAT'S CHI?

>> YOU KNOW, WHOSE...

>> AURA.

>> TODAY'S ABOUT THE ENERGY,

PHIL.

>> OH, OKAY.

>> I PUT ON SOME WEIGHT.

I WASN'T ABLE TO TIGHTEN IT UP

BEFORE I CAME.

AND, YOU KNOW, THE SHOULDERS ARE

PULLING A LOT, AND THE SLEEVE

LENGTH HAS NOW BEEN AFFECTED

BY...

...BY MY SUBSTANTIAL GIRTH IN MY

CHEST AND SHOULDERS AND UPPER

BACK.

I'M GONNA GO WORK THE ROOM.

>> I SAW THE BOOK...

>> YEAH.

>> ...THAT YOU MADE, EH?

>> YEAH, YEAH.

IT'S DOING VERY WELL IN AMERICA.

>> YEAH? YEAH?

>> I NEED TO TRANSLATE IT TO

GERMAN.

OH, YEAH, YEAH. HERE.

>> THIS -- OKAY. OKAY.

>> AND YOU JUST TELL ME IT'S

YOU, AND I'LL SIGN IT FOR YOU.

>> OKAY.

>> DANKE.

SO, I'M WALKING AROUND, AND I

SEE THE FORMER EUROPEAN

CHAMPION, WHO'S ALSO THE GERMAN

CHAMPION, AND HIS BEARD, THOUGH

IT IS NOT EXTREMELY LONG, IS

PERFECT, AND IT MATCHES HIS HAIR

AND IT WORKS WITH HIS COSTUME,

AND SO WHAT YOU GET IS, LIKE,

THE PUREST FORM OF JUST

OUTLANDISH CHARACTER, AND THAT'S

WHY HE HAS DONE VERY WELL FOR

HIMSELF.

>> REALLY, MASCULINITY IS

PERFORMED FOR THE EVALUATIVE

EYES OF OTHER MEN.

IT'S REALLY OTHER MEN WHO WE

REALLY NEED TO VALIDATE, CHECK

US OUT, YOU KNOW, LEGITIMATE OUR

SORT OF PERFORMANCE OF

MASCULINITY.

>> HELL, YEAH, I WON.

NAILED IT.

IN SOME WAYS, IT'S JUST ANOTHER

WIN, IT'S JUST ANOTHER TROPHY,

BUT, AT THE SAME TIME, IT'S A

VERY SIGNIFICANT WIN BECAUSE

THIS MARKS THE FIRST TIME THAT

AN AMERICAN HAS BEEN A EUROPEAN

CHAMPION.

YOU KNOW WHAT SCHOPENHAUER SAYS

IN THE SPIRIT OF OUR TRIP HERE?

SCHOPENHAUER WOULD SAY THAT LIFE

IS A PENDULUM THAT SWINGS

BETWEEN SUFFERING AND BOREDOM.

AND I'D RATHER BE BORED WINNING

BEARD COMPETITIONS THAN CONTINUE

TO SUFFER AS A BORING, NORMAL

MAN.

>> THE MAN WHO WILL BE THE

MASTER OF CEREMONIES THIS

AFTERNOON -- YOU'VE SEEN HIM ON

"GOOD MORNING AMERICA."

HERE HE IS, LADIES AND

GENTLEMEN -- MR. JACK PASSION!

>> I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT ANY

OTHER BEARDS NOW.

I JUST WANT TO CONTINUE TO PUSH

MYSELF.

IF A MAN CAN RECONCILE HIMSELF

WITH THE WORLD ENOUGH THAT HE'S

FREE TO GROW AND BE HIMSELF WITH

HIS OWN BEARD, THEN FANTASTIC.

>> I MEAN, WHEN DO YOU THINK

THEY STARTED SHAVING, RIGHT?

I MEAN, THE ADVENT OF THE RAZOR

MUST HAVE BEEN...RECENT.

>> I'D SAY -- YOU KNOW, I THINK

IT WAS ABOUT...A COUPLE HUNDRED

B.C.

>> REALLY?

IS THAT THE DATE?

YOU KNOW YOUR DATES?

>> I THINK THAT THE GUY -- ONE

OF THESE GUYS GRABBED A PIECE OF

COPPER.

>> COPPER?

DON'T YOU THINK IT WOULD HAVE

BEEN A STONE FIRST BEFORE THEY

STARTED WORKING WITH METALS?

>> IT WAS ACTUALLY SHELLS.

>> THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD

GUESS.

I HAVE MET A FEW SHARP SHELLS.

>> YOU KNOW, UH...

>> SO, YOU GO UP, HUH?

YOU DON'T GET INGROWNS WHEN YOU

GO UP?

YOU DON'T HAVE, LIKE, A REGULAR,

LIKE, PATTERN THAT YOU DO?

>> I DO. I DO.

I MIX IT UP.

I THINK THAT LIFE IS ABOUT...

>> GOD, DON'T PUT ME TO SLEEP

RIGHT NOW.

>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE LIKE,

"HEY, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME

YOUR..."

>> TIPS ON SHAVING?

NO, I'M ALL SET.

>> "...TIPS ON LIFE?"

>> THANK YOU, NO.

I'VE HIT 42 ALL BY MYSELF.

THANKS.

>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.

YOU HAD A LOT OF PEOPLE PULLING

FOR YOU, JASON.

>> I SURE DID, DIDN'T I?

>> YEAH.

AND I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE

FOR A WHILE.

>> LIKE, WHAT DO YOU THINK WORKS

BEST WITH MY FACE?

'CAUSE THIS HAS BEEN NOT DOING

WELL FOR ME FOR --

>> OH, LIKE, UM, A HOOD WOULD BE

GOOD, OR, LIKE, A BALACLAVA

WOULD BE GREAT FOR YOUR FACE.

BIG SUNGLASSES.

THAT --

>> OR MAYBE JUST A TRIM.

>> FANTASTIC.

>> GREAT.

LET'S GET TO THE NEXT STEP.

>> OKAY.

>> OF COURSE ALL MEN WERE FURRY,

BUT THERE'S SOME EVIDENCE THAT

EVEN 100,000 B.C., MEN WERE

USING CLAMSHELLS TO PLUCK OUT

HAIR AND, LATER ON, FLINT TO

SCRATCH IT OFF.

>> MEN HAVE ALWAYS BEEN

INTERESTED IN LOOKING GOOD.

I MEAN, YOU'LL SEE MEN IN

AFRICA WHO PUT CLAY IN THEIR

HAIR.

IT TAKES THEM 20 HOURS TO GET

THAT HAIRDO ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

YOU'LL SEE PEOPLE WITH ALL KINDS

OF FILED TEETH AND SCARIFICATION

AND VERY FANCY BEADS AND

FEATHERS AND NECKLACES.

AROUND THE WORLD, MEN HAVE BEEN

DECORATING THEMSELVES.

I THINK WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW IN

THE UNITED STATES IS MEN ARE

FINALLY ALLOWED TO DECORATE

THEMSELVES.

>> PAL PREMIUM RIDES THROUGH

WHISKERS ON A FILM OF LIQUID

BALL BEARINGS TO TAKE FRICTION

OUT OF SHAVING.

>> WHEN SHAVING PRODUCTS WERE

INTRODUCED, MANUFACTURERS WENT

OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE THEM

SOUND VERY MASCULINE, NOT

FEMININE.

NOT -- IT'S NEVER A MOISTURIZER.

IT'S HAS TO BE AN AFTERSHAVE.

>> BRUT, BY FABERGé.

AFTER THE GAME, AFTER ANYTHING.

>> CANOE -- THE MAN'S COLOGNE

FROM FRANCE.

FOR MEN WHO AREN'T KIDS

ANYMORE.

>> AND BEFORE, THERE WAS JUST A

FEW PRODUCTS.

MAYBE YOU HAD, YOU KNOW,

DEODORANTS AND YOU HAD A FEW

AFTERSHAVES OR, YOU KNOW,

SHAVING GELS, AND THAT WAS IT.

>> THERE'S NO QUESTION THAT ALL

MANNER OF GROOMING AND

SELF-IMPROVEMENT AND BODY

MODIFICATION IS ON THE RISE

AMONG MEN.

>> SO, THERE ARE SHAVING OILS,

THERE ARE BEARD WASHES.

>> THERE'S COMPANIES THAT ARE

MAKING PRODUCTS, MOISTURIZERS,

FOR MEN.

>> HOW DID YOU FIND THIS

MOISTURIZER?

>> I FOUND IT A BIT TOO WATERY,

I HAVE TO SAY.

>> GROOMING PRODUCT, HAIR

COLORING, ALL KINDS OF PRODUCTS

LIKE THAT ARE SHOWING DRAMATIC

GROWTH.

>> WHAT IS THE FASHION-FORWARD

MAN WEARING THIS FALL?

PANTYHOSE.

>> WHAT?

>> SO, THAT IS SORT OF THE BIRTH

OF THESE PRODUCTS, WHICH BECOME

A BILLION-DOLLAR INDUSTRY.

>> SO, I THINK SOME MEN LIKE IT,

BUT I THINK SOME MEN ARE JUST

LIKE, "THIS IS OVERWHELMING.

DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH

THIS."

>> YEAH. SHOWER GEL.

THAT'S ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE

THINGS.

WHAT THE THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN SHOWER GEL AND SHAMPOO?

LIKE, YOU THINK YOUR PUBES KNOW

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SHOT OF

SHAMPOO AND A SHOT OF SHOWER

GEL, OR YOUR UNDERARMS DO?

LIKE, WE HAVE TWO SEPARATE

PRODUCTS.

THEY'RE ESSENTIALLY THE SAME

PRODUCT, EXCEPT THEY SMELL JUST

A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT.

I MEAN, HOW DUMB ARE WE,

BUYING ALL THIS SHIT?

>> AXE BODY SPRAY, IS IT?

WHATEVER -- YOU KNOW WHAT?

GIVE ME SOMETHING WITH SOME MEAT

ON ITS BONES, LIKE AQUA VELVA.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?

AQUA VELVA.

SKIN -- SKIN BRACER.

YOU HEAR THE WORDS "SKIN

BRACER," AND...

THAT GOES WITH IT.

IT'S LIKE, "AW, SH-- IT STINGS

SO YOU KNOW IT'S WORKING."

>> YEAH, YOU DON'T HAVE THAT

ANYMORE.

I'M GONNA GET A WELT ON MY FACE.

>> THIS NAME ACTUALLY CAME TO ME

PROBABLY ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO.

I WAS SLEEPING.

I HAD A PROBLEM, AND I NEEDED TO

COME UP WITH A SOLUTION.

DID YOU RECEIVE THOSE SAMPLES

THAT I SENT YOU LAST WEEK OF OUR

PRODUCT FRESH BALLS?

MY NAME'S BROOK FRANK.

I LIVE HERE IN LAS VEGAS,

NEVADA, AND WE LAUNCHED A

PRODUCT CALLED FRESH BALLS.

WELL, LET ME EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.

WHAT IT IS IS IT'S A PRODUCT

THAT YOU USE FOR THE GROIN AREA

THAT KEEPS YOUR -- KEEPS THE

SWEAT DOWN AND KEEPS YOU FEELING

DRY AND KEEPS YOU FRESH AND DRY

ALL DAY.

AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT, YOU

KNOW, GUYS WEAR EVERY DAY.

LITERALLY, THEY BRUSH THEIR

TEETH.

THEY PUT THEIR FRESH BALLS ON.

IT'S JUST PART OF GETTING READY

FOR THE DAY.

BEFORE FRESH BALLS, THEY WERE

USING POWDERS -- TALCUM POWDER,

WHICH TALC IS A CARCINOGENIC, SO

IT'S ONE THING THAT I'VE MADE

SURE TO KEEP OUT OF MY PRODUCT.

BUT THE PROBLEM OF POWDERS ARE

IS IT CLUMPS UP, SO ONCE YOU

START SWEATING, IT'S LIKE TAKING

FLOUR AND BAKING.

IT JUST TURNS INTO CLUMPS.

AND I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T LIKE CLUMPS IN MY PANTS.

I MEAN, THAT'S JUST A WHOLE

NOTHER PROBLEM THAT YOU'VE

STARTED.

>> YOU KNOW, MEN'S GROOMING HAS

THE CRAZIEST THINGS.

I THINK THAT THERE'S NO MORE

SECRETS.

THERE'S NO MORE SECRETS THAT MEN

ARE DOING THINGS THAT ARE FROM

ANAL WAXING -- WHY?

LIKE, WHY DOES A MAN NEED TO WAX

HIS ANUS?

>> MY DAD ALWAYS SMELLED LIKE --

WHEN HE WOULD TUCK ME IN AT

NIGHT, HE SMELLED LIKE GARLIC

AND DIESEL FUEL.

AND IT REALLY SMELLED REALLY

BEAUTIFUL TO ME.

HIS HANDS WOULD JUST SMELL LIKE

THAT BECAUSE OF HIS JOB.

HE SOLD, UH...

DIESEL-COVERED GARLIC.

>> YES, I HAVE BEEN THE MAIN

PRODUCT TESTER.

YOU KNOW, WE'VE GONE THROUGH

PROBABLY 50 TO 75 SAMPLES JUST

TO GET TO THE ONE THAT WE LIKE.

SOME OF THEM CAUSED SOME

IRRITATION, SOME BURNING, YOU

KNOW?

SO, IT'S BEEN A ROUGH RIDE.

WE ARE TRYING TO QUADRUPLE OUR

BUSINESS.

YOU KNOW, THE FIRST YEAR, WE

SOLD 30,000 TUBES AND NOT REALLY

KNOWING WHERE TO MARKET TO.

AFTER THE FIRST YEAR, WE FEEL

LIKE WE KNOW HOW TO MARKET,

WHERE TO MARKET, WHO OUR

DEMOGRAPHIC IS, AND WE BELIEVE

THAT WE'LL BE IN THE RETAIL

CHAINS WITHIN THE NEXT YEAR,

ALSO.

WE'RE TESTING OUT MY PRODUCT.

IT'S CALLED FRESH BALLS.

DAVID, YOU'VE USED IT BEFORE, SO

YOU KNOW QUITE A BIT ABOUT IT,

BUT THESE GUYS THAT HAVE NEVER

TRIED IT BEFORE.

SO, WHAT I WANT THEM TO DO IS GO

IN, TRY IT ON, SEE WHAT THEY

THINK ABOUT IT.

YOU KNOW, LOOK AT THE RESIDUE.

SMELL IT A LITTLE BIT.

YOU KNOW, TRY IT, YOU KNOW, A

COUPLE MINUTES.

SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT, AND THEN

COME BACK IN AND GIVE ME YOUR

FEEDBACK.

ALL RIGHT?

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> GO AHEAD. SMELL IT.

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.

>> IT'S GOT A --

>> THERE'S A LIGHT SCENT TO IT.

>> YEAH.

>> I MEAN, IT'S NOT

OVERPOWERING.

>> YEAH.

>> IT'S NOT MUSTY.

>> ALL RIGHT.

WE'RE GOING...RIGHT IN THERE,

ALL RIGHT?

HAVE FUN.

>> THANKS.

>> "FUN."

>> YOU WASH YOUR HANDS, JIM?

>> I...

ALL RIGHT, WELCOME BACK.

>> THANK YOU.

>> WELCOME BACK.

HEY, THERE YOU GO.

>> ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

SO, YOU KNOW, NOW I JUST WANT TO

HAVE AN OPEN DISCUSSION, TALK

ABOUT THE PRODUCT, WHAT YOU GUYS

THINK ABOUT IT.

>> A LITTLE BIT SQUIRTED OUT,

AND THEN IT WAS ACTUALLY DRYING.

YOU KNOW, AND YOU'RE TRYING TO

GET IT -- AND NOW IT'S ON YOUR

PANTS.

>> THAT WAS ONE OF THE BIG

ISSUES THAT I HAD, YOU KNOW?

IT WAS GREASY, BUT IT'S

REALLY -- IT'S ACTUALLY NOT BAD.

>> FEELING FRESH? GOOD?

>> YEAH.

>> IT'S COMFORTABLE.

>> IT'S CLEARED UP MY BATWINGS.

>> BATWINGS IS WHEN,

ESSENTIALLY, YOUR SCROTUM STICKS

TO YOUR LEGS AND LOOKS LIKE A

BAT WING.

>> IS IT SOMETHING THAT YOU

WOULD TELL YOUR BUDDIES ABOUT OR

FEEL --

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> IT DEFINITELY, YOU KNOW, DOES

WHAT IT SAYS IT DOES.

IT KEEPS THEM FRESH, KEEPS THEM

DRY.

I USE THEM IN FLORIDA IN THE

MOST HUMID OF WEATHER, AND, YOU

KNOW, I THINK IT DID A FANTASTIC

JOB.

>> OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

THANKS A LOT.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> COOL.

>> APPRECIATE YOU COMING.

>> THANK YOU.

>> THANKS, DAVID.

YOU KNOW, IF I SAY, YOU KNOW,

"HERE'S MY PRODUCT -- IT'S

FRESH BALLS," YOU DON'T SAY,

"WHAT IS THAT?"

IT IS. IT IS WHAT IT IS.

>> I DON'T HAVE ANY EAR HAIR

YET, THOUGH.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

HAVE YOU GOT ANY HAIR IN YOUR

EAR?

>> NOT MY EAR.

MY NO-- THE NOSIES HAVE BEEN

GETTING --

>> YEAH. THEY REALLY --

>> YEAH, THEY'RE AGGRESSIVE.

>> THEY MEAN BUSINESS, RIGHT?

>> YEAH.

>> AND YOU GOT TO GET IN THERE.

YOU GOT TO EITHER PULL THEM OR

SHAVE THEM.

>> SURE.

>> I STILL HAVEN'T MET ONE OF

THOSE -- ONE OF THOSE BUZZERS

THAT REALLY WORKS REAL WELL,

>> REALLY WORKS. NO.

NO, ME NEITHER.

GOD, WE'VE GOT A LOT IN COMMON.

>> I THINK THERE'S MONEY IN

THAT.

>> WE'RE BOTH WEARING MASKS.

>> TELL ME YOUR NAME ONE MORE

TIME.

>> IT'S KEVIN.

>> HEY, KEVIN.

I THINK WE WERE SMART TO SHARE

THIS ROOM.

>> ME TOO.

>> YOU KNOW?

DEBORAH'S GIVING US A TWOFER.

>> YEAH.

>> WHAT PART OF THE COUNTRY YOU

FROM?

>> OH, I JUST ROLLED IN HERE

FROM INDIANA.

>> UH-HUH.

>> MM-HMM.

I'M VERY LONELY.

>> WELL, GUY, UM, I DON'T KNOW

IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS, BUT I'M

REAL HAPPY.

>> I LOVE YOUR DECOY, DUDE.

I GOT IT.

I'M WITH YOU.

>> NO.

>> ME TOO.

>> NO NEED TO WINK.

>> LET'S PARTY.

>> NOPE.

>> A GUY WITH A HAIRY BACK AT A

POOL PARTY SHOULD BE WEARING A

T-SHIRT BECAUSE BASED

ON HOW OUR READER RESPONSE -- A

LOT OF WOMEN RESPOND TO IT, THEY

JUST DON'T LIKE THAT LOOK, AND I

FEEL BAD FOR GUYS WHO HAVE IT.

THAT'S ONE THING THEY WANT MEN

TO GET RID OF -- BACK HAIR.

>> OHH, THE HAIR ON MY BODY.

WHAT YOU SEE ON MY HEAD AND A

LITTLE AROUND MY PUBIC AREA, AND

THAT'S ABOUT IT.

>> BACK HAIR SEEMS TO ME TO BE

ASSOCIATED WITH SOMEONE WHO'S

VERY UNFIT.

>> I DON'T REALLY HAVE BACK

HAIR.

I HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF CHEST

HAIR.

>> I HAVE SOME BODY HAIR.

>> WHEN I SEE A MAN WHO'S, LIKE,

PERFECTLY SCULPTED, PERFECTLY

WAXED, AND SORT OF, LIKE, OILED

UP TO A PLASTICY, YOU KNOW,

CONSISTENCY, I JUST EXPECT THERE

TO BE NO GONADS.

>> I THINK A MAN WHO REMOVES

HAIR -- OH, I DON'T EVEN KNOW

WHY.

THAT'S HORRIBLE.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY

ABOUT IT.

>> I DO DO THE MANSCAPING.

I THINK IT'S APPRECIATED.

>> I HAVE TWO WAXERS -- ONE FOR

EYEBROWS AND ONE FOR EVERYTHING

ELSE.

>> TO BE HONEST, I DON'T EVEN

THINK I'VE EVER EVEN BEEN WITH

ANYONE WITH BACK HAIR.

>> I AM LETTING IT GROW LIKE A

WILD BUSHFIRE.

>> IT'S LIKE A GENETIC PRANK

THAT GOD PLAYS ON PEOPLE.

YOU KNOW, I KNOW A LOT OF GUYS

SUFFER FROM IT.

IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS

YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH, REALLY.

>> MY NAME IS SHAWN DAIVARI.

I'M 26 YEARS OLD.

I'M ORIGINALLY FROM MINNEAPOLIS,

MINNESOTA, BUT NOW I LIVE IN

HOUSTON, TEXAS.

AND I'VE BEEN A PROFESSIONAL

WRESTLER FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS.

MY CHARACTER IN THE RING IS, YOU

KNOW, OBVIOUSLY THE FOREIGN BAD

GUY.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I'M AN EXTREMELY HAIR GUY, WHICH

IS VERY COMMON OF ALL, YOU KNOW,

MIDDLE EASTERN MEN.

YES, I AM A MUTANT, BECAUSE OUT

OF EVERY PORE IN MY BODY I HAVE

TWO HAIRS COMING OUT.

I THINK I HAVE A COUPLE SPOTS

WHERE THREE PORES COME OUT OF

EVERY -- OR THREE HAIRS COME OUT

OF EVERY PORE.

WRESTLING IS THE ONLY THING I

LIKED AS A KID GROWING UP.

RIC FLAIR'S THE 13-TIME WORLD

CHAMP!

HE DESERVES TO GET FULL-TIME ON

THE MONDAY NITRO, AND HOGAN'S

JUST -- BISCHOFF JUST GOT TO LET

HIM GO.

>> ANY 5-YEAR-OLD KID THAT

WATCHES WRESTLING ON TV -- IT'S

LIKE WATCHING REAL-LIFE

"POWER RANGERS."

IT'S -- IT'S COMIC BOOKS COME

TO LIFE.

AND -- AND I COULDN'T BECOME A

SUPERHERO, SO, YOU KNOW, A PRO

WRESTLER IS THE NEXT BEST THING.

AND I LIKE ALL THE WRESTLERS

THAT WERE IN SHAPE AND HAD

MUSCLES AND, YOU KNOW, WERE

SHAVED AND WERE TANNED, AND THEY

HAD VERY COLORFUL CHARACTERS.

THEY WERE GREAT TALKERS.

THEY WERE GOOD IN-RING

PERFORMERS, LIKE SHAWN MICHAELS.

I LIKE TO WRESTLE LIKE

STEVE AUSTIN, LIKE THE ROCK,

LIKE HULK HOGAN.

AND I FELT IF I'M GONNA BE A

SUCCESSFUL WRESTLER, I MIGHT AS

WELL TRY AND MODEL MYSELF AND

MAKE MYSELF LOOK LIKE THE

WRESTLER THAT I WOULD HAVE

BOUGHT A TICKET TO SEE WHEN I

WAS A FAN, WATCHING AS A KID.

>> I THINK WRESTLING HAS ALWAYS

HAD TO STEP UP BEFORE THE REAL

WORLD HAS, BECAUSE WRESTLING --

WE'VE -- THEY'VE BEEN DOING THIS

SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME.

GUYS HAVE BEEN -- I HEAR

HULK HOGAN TALK ABOUT IT ALL THE

TIME.

YOU KNOW, HE USED TO HAVE HIS

WIFE HAVE TO SHAVE HIS BACK,

TOO, AND THIS IS WHEN HE FIRST

STARTED, YOU KNOW?

SO, IT'S FROM EVEN WAY BACK THEN

TO ALL THE WAY TILL TODAY.

>> I THOUGHT I WAS VAIN AND HAD

TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON

LOOKING THE WAY I DO, AND I

THINK THE GUYS PUT ME TO SHAME.

I THINK THEY PUT A LOT OF THE

GIRLS TO SHAME, QUITE HONESTLY.

I MEAN, WE'RE USED TO DOING A

LITTLE BIT OF HAIR AND MAKEUP,

BUT WHAT THEY HAVE TO GO

THROUGH...

>> ...HOW MUCH IRON THEY HAVE TO

PUMP...

>> TWO MORE. COME ON.

>> ...THEIR TAN, AND YOU KNOW,

IT REALLY COMES DOWN TO THE

HAIR -- JUST SO MUCH WORK.

>> YOU CAN'T PLAY THE ROLE OF A

PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE ON

TELEVISION IF YOU DON'T --

>> RIGHT. I MEAN, YOU DON'T WANT

TO LOOK LIKE SOME HIGH-SCHOOL

KID OUT THERE.

>> AND IF THE DUDE -- IF THE

DUDE IN THE FRONT ROW THINKS HE

CAN KICK YOUR ASS, WHY IS HE

GONNA BUY A TICKET TO SEE YOU?

>> RIGHT. YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.

>> ONE PSYCHOLOGIST CALLS WHAT'S

HAPPENING TO MEN THAT WE SUFFER

FROM NOW WHAT -- WHAT HE CALLS

THE ADONIS COMPLEX.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE

GREEK GODS.

WELL, IF YOU LOOK AT THE STATUES

OF GREEK GODS, THEY DIDN'T HAVE

LOTS OF LITTLE CURLY HAIR ON

THEIR CHESTS.

THEY WERE COMPLETELY HAIRLESS.

>> BUT GETTING ALL YOUR HAIR

REMOVED -- ONCE AGAIN, I HAVE

NO -- I REALLY HAVE NO

TOUCHSTONE FOR THAT.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT BECAUSE

THE MIND-SET, TO ME, IS

YOU'RE -- YOU'RE SAYING THAT

WOMEN WANT TO BE WITH A HAIRLESS

BOY.

>> I'M NOT FOR REMOVING BODY

HAIR BECAUSE, FOR ME, IT SERVES

AN IMPORTANT PURPOSE, WHICH IS

IT FILLS IN THE SPACE BETWEEN MY

BREASTS.

>> I PRETTY MUCH HAVE TO SHAVE

EVERY SQUARE INCH OF MY BODY

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE OTHER

WRESTLERS LOOK LIKE.

IN THE CULTURE THAT IS AMERICA

AND THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE, THAT

IS KIND OF WHAT'S BEEN DEPICTED

TO THEM AS MASCULINE AND TOUGH

AND STRONG AND -- AND MIGHTY.

AND USUALLY, I START WITH, LIKE,

MY STOMACH, AND THEN I WORK UP

TO MY CHEST, WHICH SOUNDS EASY,

BUT THE HAIR GROWS IN, LIKE, TWO

DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS, OR MAYBE

THAT'S JUST ME.

I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE NEVER SHAVED ANOTHER MAN

BEFORE.

AND THEN I SHAVE, LIKE, THE HAIR

OFF MY FINGERS COMING UP, AND

THEN UP MY HANDS, UP MY WRISTS,

UP MY ARMS, AND ON MY SHOULDERS,

AS MUCH AS I CAN GET.

AND THEN I GET TO MY BACK

EVENTUALLY, WHERE I HAVE TO CALL

IN, YOU KNOW, AN ASSIST OR A

BUDDY TO COME IN AND -- AND HELP

ME SHAVE MY BACK.

>> DO I HAVE TO GET YOUR BUTT?

>> NO, NO.

LIKE, THE BUTT IS, LIKE, THE

SHELF.

>> AAH, AHH, AHH, AHH.

>> THAT'S THE BUTT SHELF.

>> AAH.

I'M DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF.

>> ALL RIGHT.

THAT WAS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE

BETTER PERFORMANCES I'VE EVER

HAD.

SEE?

GIVES SOMEWHAT OF THE ILLUSION

OF BEING IN A LITTLE BIT BETTER

SHAPE THAN I ACTUALLY AM.

I'M IN ORLANDO FOR

TNA WRESTLING.

WHAT'S UP, SLICK?

THEY HAD ME COME DOWN.

THEY'RE GONNA TAKE A LOOK AT ME,

SEE IF GEARS START SPINNING FOR

A POTENTIAL NEW PROJECT -- WITH

WARDROBE, WITH CHARACTER, WITH

CROWD REACTION.

I'M SURE THEY'RE PLAYING AROUND

IN THE TRUCK WITH CAMERA SHOTS.

WE'RE TRYING TO TEST OUT THIS

NEW CHARACTER.

SO, NOW WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF MY

COMFORT ZONE AND ME AND THEM

HAVE TO CONSTRUCT NOT HOW -- I

GUESS, IN TNA, HOW

SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR WRESTLES BUT

HOW -- HOW SHAWN DAIVARI

WRESTLES IN TNA.

WE'VE NEVER SEEN THAT.

SO, ME AND PAT HAVE TO PUT OUR

BRAINS TOGETHER AND CONSTRUCT

THIS NEW GUY.

SO, THESE ARE, LIKE, THE TRUNKS

I USE WHEN I DO THE ARAB STUFF.

WHEN I'M NOT -- YOU KNOW, DON'T

WANT THE ARAB HEAT -- I'M JUST

A REGULAR...

>> YEAH?

>> ...PRO WRESTLER, WHICH I'M

THINKING MAYBE FOR TONIGHT,

THESE ARE MORE LIKE A

SCIENCE-FICTION, MILITARY...

>> THAT'S COOL.

>> ...TYPE GIMMICK.

>> THOSE BOOTS?

>> YEP.

>> WRISTBANDS?

>> YEP.

>> OKAY. SO, WE KNOW WHAT YOU

CAN DO AS BEING THE ANTAGONIST.

>> YEAH.

>> SO, THE THOUGHT PROCESS IS,

LET'S GET YOU OUT OF YOUR

COMFORT ZONE.

>> SURE.

>> WHAT CAN YOU DO -- WHAT CAN

YOU DELIVER, AS FAR AS BEING A

FAN FAVORITE?

>> RIGHT.

>> WHAT CAN YOU DO -- LET'S SEE

WHAT YOU CAN DO.

CAN YOU GET THE PEOPLE TO LOVE

YOU?

>> YEAH.

>> PUT YOUR WORKING BOOTS ON...

>> OKAY.

>> ...AND TRY TO, YOU KNOW, GIVE

US A -- NOT UNNECESSARY ACTION,

BUT -- BUT ESTABLISH THE

BOUNDARY...

>> SURE.

>> ...AND THEN GO.

>> TIME -- WHAT ARE YOU

THINKING?

>> I'M THINKING SIX.

>> YOU WANT TO OPEN WITH SIX?

>> YEAH.

>> SIX WITH ENTRANCES, FOUR IN

THE RING?

>> YEP. YEP.

>> OKAY.

>> IF YOU DON'T GET THEM THERE,

YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET THEM THERE,

SO...

>> YEAH, AND THEN COME RIGHT IN.

>> YEAH.

>> COOL. ALL RIGHT.

THANKS, "DOUBLE J."

>> YOU GOT IT.

>> AND I'LL HOOK UP WITH YOU IN

A COUPLE MINUTES?

>> YEAH.

>> ALL RIGHT, COOL.

>> GOOD. GOOD. SHAVE UP.

SINCE I STARTED WRESTLING, I'VE

NEVER NOT SHAVEN MY BODY.

BUT, YOU KNOW, I TRY AND KEEP IT

UP AND SHAVE IT AND SHAVE

EVERYTHING 'CAUSE THERE'S

NOTHING WORSE THAN TRYING TO GO

OUT THERE AND TELL A STORY AND

TRY REALLY HARD TO PUT ON A

PERFORMANCE, AND THE ONLY THING

PEOPLE CAN SCREAM IS, "SHAVE

YOUR BACK!" OR SOMETHING.

>> I THINK THAT MEN ARE HAVING

AN IDENTITY CRISIS, BUT I DON'T

THINK THAT THEY KNOW IT.

I THINK THEY'RE JUST FEELING

UNCOMFORTABLE.

>> NO, I DON'T THINK MEN ARE

REALLY HAVING AN IDENTITY

CRISIS.

I -- IT'S HARD.

I CAN'T REALLY SPEAK FOR ALL --

ALL GUYS, THOUGH I OFTEN TRY TO.

>> WHAT HAPPENED WAS IS SOCIETY

BASICALLY TOLD MEN, "HEY, STOP

THIS BEHAVIOR.

STOP BOOZING.

STOP CAROUSING.

STOP FIGHTING.

STOP" FILL IN THE BLANK.

"STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT.

STOP ACTING LIKE A MAN,"

ESSENTIALLY.

>> WHAT DO YOU THINK MAKES A

MAN?

>> WHAT MAKES A MAN?

>> WHAT MAKES A MAN?

>> I WOULD SAY...WHAT MAKES A

MAN, WHAT -- WHAT CONSTITUTES

MANNING UP IS TAKING

RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF.

THE AGE WHERE YOU STOP RELYING

ON YOUR FOLKS -- WHOMEVER IT WAS

THAT BROUGHT YOU UP -- AND YOU

START MAKING YOUR OWN DECISIONS

ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE GOING, ABOUT

WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

WHAT -- WHAT DO YOU THINK MAKES

A MAN?

>> I WISH I HAD YOUR MANLY

VOICE.

I WOULD PROBABLY SKIP -- SKIP A

FEW PEOPLE IN LINE.

>> OH, COME ON,

JASON.

>> NO, YOU JUST WENT -- YOU'RE

GOING LOWER THERE, YOU KNOW?

>> NO, I'M NOT.

>> WE'RE NOT DOING TRUCK ADS.

>> GOT IT.

>> I THINK -- I THINK YOU'VE

SAID IT PRETTY WELL -- TAKING

CARE OF ADULT STUFF.

>> GUYS LIKE

YOU AND ME -- LET'S FACE IT --

WE GOOFED AROUND FOR A NUMBER OF

YEARS.

>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU --

YOU WERE PROBABLY PLAYING A LOT

OF GRAB-ASS AND STUFF.

>> YOU WERE --

>> I STARTED WORKING PRETTY

YOUNG.

>> YEAH, BUT YOU WERE ALL --

YOU WERE ALL -- YOU WERE ALL

BANGED UP ON GOOFBALLS IN THOSE

TIMES, WERE YOU NOT?

>> GOOFBALLS -- YOU'RE TALKING

ABOUT BOOZE AND SOME NARCOTICS?

>> SURE. SURE.

>> OKAY. THAT'S FAIR, BUT,

LISTEN, SEE...

>> ...A GUY'S GOT TO --

GOT TO -- GOT TO RELAX AFTER

WORK.

>> BUT INTERESTING WHAT YOU

SAID -- "A GUY."

YOU DIDN'T SAY, "A MAN."

YEAH, THAT'S MY POINT.

THAT'S MY POINT.

>> I USED TO GO TO OLD-TIME

BARBERS, AND THERE'S A COUPLE OF

GOOD THINGS.

THEY -- WELL, THERE'S A FEW

THINGS.

YOU KNOW, THEY GOT THE RAZOR,

AND THEY GOT THE STROP -- YOU

KNOW, THE STROP?

I THOUGHT IT WAS CALLED A STRAP.

IT'S CALLED A STROP.

I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP.

IT'S A STRAP THAT'S CALLED A

STROP.

IT'S CONFUSING.

BUT, YOU KNOW, WSHH, WSHH,

WSHH.

AND WHEN THEY GET THE HOT-FOAM

DISPENSER AND THEY DO THE BACK

OF YOUR NECK -- LIKE, YOU CAN

HEAR IT ON THE BACK -- IT FEELS

AWESOME.

>> TO SAY THAT SOMEBODY'S LIKE A

BARBER IS TO SAY THAT SOMEBODY'S

LIKE A STEWARDESS.

IT'S AN -- IT'S AN ANTIQUATED

TERM, ALMOST.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT,

BUT -- "FLIGHT ATTENDANT" OR

"HAIR STYLIST."

IT'S ALL PART OF THAT KIND OF

WATERED-DOWN GEORGE CARLIN

LANGUAGE THING, RIGHT?

A BARBER.

>> IT'S A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN

COME AND BE A MAN FOR AN HOUR,

YOU KNOW?

AND, YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE, YOU

KNOW, AS FAR AS, LIKE, THE

FEMINIST MOVEMENT, I FEEL THAT

IT KIND OF PUT MEN IN A

SITUATION TO WHERE, REALLY, THEY

DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY BELONG

ANYMORE.

>> THIS IS AN OLD-STYLE SHOP.

YOU JUST COME IN, 'CAUSE ALL OF

US ARE SALON-TRAINED, ALSO, SO,

PRETTY MUCH, WHATEVER YOU WANT,

WE CAN DO.

SO, ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS TELL

US WHAT THEY WANT, AND WE'LL

TAKE CARE OF IT.

>> YOU KNOW, THERE'S THE TERM

THAT FLOATS AROUND --

"OLD-SCHOOL," YOU KNOW?

THIS IS -- THIS IS OLD-SCHOOL.

THIS IS NO FRILLS.

THIS IS JUST YOU COME IN AND GET

A HAIRCUT, LISTEN TO SOME GOOD

B.S., AND YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY.

>> YOU COME IN HERE -- YOU CAN

ACT LIKE A MAN, YOU CAN --

YOU CAN READ A PLAYBOY BOOK, AND

YOU CAN TALK POLITICS AND -- AND

TELL A FEW LIES, YOU KNOW?

IT'S FUN.

IT'S AN EXPERIENCE.

>> ARE YOU INTO MANSCAPING?

>> NO, MAN.

THAT'S THE NEW THING, THOUGH.

THESE -- THESE GUYS DOWN IN

VEGAS, I GUESS -- THEY GO TO

THESE LADIES TO GET MANSCAPED.

AND THAT'S DEGRADING TO OUR

PROFESSION -- THEY'RE DOING

STUFF LIKE THAT, TO LINK IT IN

WITH BARBERING.

>> WHAT DO THEY CALL A PLACE

LIKE THAT -- THE BUSHWHACKER?

YOU GET THAT CAMARADERIE, YOU

KNOW?

AND IT'S -- IT'S JUST A PLACE

WHERE YOU CAN BE A MAN.

>> THIS PROFESSOR SAID THE

BARBERSHOPS ARE THIRD PLACES.

NEXT, TAKE OUT THE RAZOR.

YOU HAVE YOUR HOME, WHICH IS

ONE, YOU HAVE YOUR WORK, WHICH

IS TWO, AND THEN A BARBERSHOP IS

A TYPE OF THIRD PLACE, WHERE

EVERY GUY COULD GO AND TALK

AMONGST PEERS.

AND I THINK IT'S JUST GOOD FOR

MENTAL HEALTH TO HAVE THAT AS A

SOCIETY.

>> THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S A GOOD CUT.

YOU LIKE IT, RIGHT?

>> NO DOUBT.

>> WE REALLY BECOME PART OF THE

EXTENDED FAMILY.

WE WATCH -- YOU KNOW, WE -- I'VE

CUT GUYS WHO'VE GONE FROM, YOU

KNOW, TEENAGEHOOD TO COLLEGE TO

GETTING MARRIED TO BRINGING

THEIR FIRST CHILD IN TO GET A

HAIRCUT.

ALTHOUGH IT'S A PLACE WHERE A

LOT OF MEN GO, WOMEN HAVE

ACTUALLY COME UP TO ME AND SAY,

"I BRING MY SON TO THIS SHOP TO

BE AROUND MEN"...

YOU WANT TO BRING THIS DOWN.

...BECAUSE THEY MAY NOT BE

AROUND THEIR FATHER.

SO YOU JUST GROW WITH THEM.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE INVITED TO BABY

SHOWERS AND WEDDINGS AND -- YOU

KNOW?

"THIS IS MY BARBER," YOU KNOW?

SOME PEOPLE EVEN REFER TO ME

LIKE, "THIS IS ONE OF MY BEST

FRIENDS."

>> I GO SIT IN A CHAIR, AND I'LL

ALLOW MYSELF TO BE PAMPERED.

I SIT IN THE SALON CHAIR AND I

PUT MY HEAD BACK AND I LET

SOMEBODY SHAVE ME -- MY FACE, MY

HEAD, EVERYTHING -- AND IT'S

LIKE A MINI-VACATION.

>> YOU KNOW, IN D.C., THERE'S A

BARBER -- ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS

BARBERSHOPS -- AND A LOT OF

POLITICIANS GO THERE.

THEY BURN YOUR HAIR OFF --

THAT'S THE HAIRCUT IS THEY BURN

IT.

YEAH, I ONLY KNOW THIS

BECAUSE -- WHAT'S THAT ASSHOLE'S

NAME? -- PAT BUCHANAN --

HE GOES THERE.

I'VE HEARD HIM TALK ABOUT IT

BEFORE.

>> EVERY GUY'S HAIRCUT IS BASED

ON ONE HAIRCUT.

IT'S JUST A BOX.

YOU PUT A BOX ON SOMEONE'S HEAD

AND THEN TAPER THE BOX IN OR

ROUND THE BOX OFF.

SO, IT'S ALL RECYCLED.

>> MOST POPULAR STYLES -- THE

HIGH AND TIGHT WITH THE

SLICKED-BACK PART, LOW AND TIGHT

WITH A PUMP -- ALL THE OLD '40s,

'50s CUTS -- WE'RE REAL KNOWN --

WELL-KNOWN FOR DOING THEM.

>> MOST OF THE TIME, WHEN WE

CONSULT FOR A HAIRCUT, FOR

EXAMPLE, WE LIKE TO KNOW A

LITTLE BIT MORE THAN THE HAIR.

WE LIKE TO KNOW WHO THEY ARE,

HOW DO THEY LIVE, WHAT DO THEY

DO, WHAT DESIGNER THEY LIKE TO

WEAR, IF THEY DO SO, ARE THEY A

JEANS PERSON, SUIT PERSON, JUST

TO MAKE SURE WE HAVE GREAT

HARMONY.

>> COST OF THINGS -- USUALLY, A

BASIC HAIRCUT USUALLY RUNS

AROUND $14.

ANYTHING ELSE ADDED TO THAT'S

GONNA RUN YOU A LITTLE BIT

MORE -- LIKE, IF YOU GET YOUR

BEARD TRIMMED, ABOUT $19.

IF I DO A HOT LATHER SHAVE -- WE

DON'T DO THEM MUCH ANYMORE --

BUT IF I DO, IT'S USUALLY ABOUT

10 BUCKS EXTRA.

>> WE ARE 12 BUCKS FOR A

HAIRCUT.

>> HOLD ON.

MY -- HOLD ON ONE SECOND.

MY FOOT'S TOTALLY ASLEEP.

AND I GOT A BULLET WOUND, TOO.

>> THERE IS DIFFERENT CLIENTELE.

THERE'S PEOPLE WHO COME -- SOME

PEOPLE JUST COME TO SEE US FOR

A TRIM, SOME FOR A HAIRCUT.

SOME COME TO SEE US FOR

COMPLETELY MAKEOVER.

>> MORNING. GOOD MORNING.

>> GOOD MORNING.

>> BUONA MATTINA.

HOW'S EVERYTHING TODAY?

MY NAME IS CARMINE PISACRETA.

TO ME, MY THING IS TO MAKE

PEOPLE HAPPY.

IF I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY, I LOVE

IT.

I'VE BEEN IN THE UNITED STATES

FOR ABOUT 53 YEARS.

WHEN A YOUNG GUY, A YOUNG PERSON

USED TO LOSE THEIR HAIR, IT WAS

A DISASTER BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT

THAT THEY HAD NO HAIR AND, FOR

THEM, LIKE, INCLUDING ME, I FEEL

MY HAIR'S EVERYTHING FOR ME.

I'M VAIN, I THINK, LIKE

EVERYBODY ELSE.

MEN -- A LOT OF PEOPLE, THEY SAY

THE WOMEN ARE VAIN, BUT I DON'T

THINK SO.

THE MEN IS MORE VAIN THAN THE

WOMEN.

>> I THINK WE'RE BECOMING MORE

PREOCCUPIED WITH OUR LOOKS.

I THINK WE ARE BEING TOLD THAT

OUR -- WHAT WE LOOK LIKE IS NOT

AS ACCEPTABLE AS IT ONCE WAS.

>> A GOOD HAIRCUT'S REALLY

IMPORTANT FOR A GUY.

WE JUDGE MEN ON IT.

AND I'M NOT SAYING IT'S FAIR.

BUT WE JUDGE HIM ON IT.

WE DECIDE WHETHER TO GIVE HIM

OUR NUMBER PARTLY BASED ON IT.

>> IN REALITY, THE HAIR'S

HAIR -- MAKE YOU MORE MACHO,

MAKE YOU MORE A MAN, MAKE YOU

MORE --

YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TALKING

ABOUT?

YOU KNOW, THEY WANT TO

IMPRESS HER -- YOU KNOW, IMPRESS

THE LADY, THE WOMAN -- WHATEVER,

WHOEVER THEY ARE.

>> GET.

>> I GOT TO BE OPEN IN THE

FRONT.

>> IT'S OPEN.

JUST PUT IT THIS WAY. LOOK.

>> OKAY.

>> IT DON'T BOTHER TOO MUCH.

THAT'S IT. AH, SEE?

>> THE AIR-CONDITIONER'S ON

BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA DIE HERE.

YEAH, YOU GOT TO DO IT.

FORGET ABOUT IT. YEAH.

WE'RE GONNA DIE.

TO BE TOGETHER FOR 48 YEARS --

WE SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER THAN

WITH OUR OWN WIFE.

>> IN MARRIAGE, IT DON'T LAST

THAT LONG -- LET'S PUT IT THAT

WAY.

>> AND IF EVERYBODY'S LIKE THIS,

LIKE US, BELIEVE ME, THE WORLD

IS IN DIFFERENT SHAPE.

AND WE'VE BEEN CUMBAR SINCE --

HOW OLD IS YOUR KID NOW?

>> MY -- MY SON IS 30 YEARS OLD.

>> 30 YEARS -- 30 YEARS AGO.

>> 30 YEARS AGO.

>> IT WAS ALMOST THE SAME TIME

WHENEVER WE OPENED THE SHOP

HERE.

>> YEAH.

>> OKAY. WE CAN NOW USE A STOCK

PIECE LIKE THIS -- YOU KNOW,

LOOKS GREAT, LOOKS BEAUTIFUL,

LOOKS LIKE THE HAIR GROWING,

OKAY?

THEY'RE GORGEOUS, BEAUTIFUL.

SOME OF THE PEOPLE -- THEIR HEAD

IS TOO BIG, TOO SMALL, AND WE

CAN'T USE THESE THINGS.

WE'VE GOT TO MAKE A CUSTOM-MADE.

AND...YOU SEE DIFFERENT SIZE.

YOU CAN SEE HOW BIG IS IT, HOW

SMALL, DIFFERENT SHAPE.

IN THIS BUSINESS, YOU GOT TO BE

EVERYTHING.

YOU GOT TO BE A DESIGNER.

YOU GOT TO BE A TAILOR.

YOU GOT TO BE A -- YOU NAME IT.

>> AND WHAT IS THIS -- LIKE A

FIBERGLASS MOLD OR...

>> YES, IT'S PLASTER OF PARIS...

>> OH.

>> ...'CAUSE WE'RE DOING THIS

BECAUSE DOING THIS COME

PERFECTION.

AND I THINK YOU -- A PERSON LIKE

YOU WANTS TO BE PERFECT.

I HOPE SO.

>> FITTED TO YOUR HEAD.

I'M SORRY IF IT'S A LITTLE BIT

UNCOMFORTABLE UNTIL --

IT'S TEMPORARY.

IT'S OKAY WITH YOU?

>> YEAH.

>> OKAY.

THE WATER GOT TO BE WARM.

WE'RE GONNA MAKE TWO COATS OF

IT.

PLASTER OF PARIS...SO IT'S GONNA

BE HARD.

OKAY. THEN YOU FINISH, DRY

GOOD...

PROBABLY IN A FEW -- 15 MINUTES.

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY?

>> OKAY.

>> YOU WANT A COFFEE?

YOU WANT A MAGAZINE TO READ, A

NEWSPAPER?

>> I'M OKAY.

>> OKAY.

>> I HAVE BEEN LOSING MY HAIR

SINCE I WAS LIKE 16.

I MEAN, I'VE BEEN -- LIKE, AND

I -- IT WAS, LIKE, DEVASTATING

BACK THEN BECAUSE I WAS REALLY

INTO MY HAIR.

AND -- AND THIS WAS, LIKE, RIGHT

WHEN ROGAINE WAS COMING OUT.

AND I ACTUALLY GREW UP IN

KALAMAZOO, MICHIGAN, WHERE

ROGAINE WAS MADE.

SO, LIKE, THE DOCTOR WAS LIKE,

"WELL, I CAN PUT YOU ON

ROGAINE."

BUT I WAS JUST LIKE, "I CAN'T BE

16 AND ON ROGAINE."

SO I DECIDED JUST TO, LIKE, TAKE

MY CHANCES AT THAT POINT.

>> THAT'S WHY -- LIKE, SEE, FROM

THE FRONT, I LOOK LIKE I'M

ROCKING HAIR.

AND SO, IN MY HEAD, I'M NOT

BALDING, 'CAUSE I DON'T SEE IT.

BUT IT'S -- IT'S HAPPENING

QUICKLY, BUT IT'S FROM THE BACK,

MOVING FORWARD.

>> MICHAEL JORDAN DID AMAZING

THINGS FOR MEN BY SAYING, "YOU

DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THAT KIND OF

BOZO THE CLOWN THING.

YOU CAN SHAVE OFF YOUR HAIR AND

BE, LIKE, YOU KNOW, A CUE BALL,"

LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW, "AND -- AND

BE FINE."

>> MICHAEL JORDAN, ONE OF THE

IDOLS -- EVERYBODY THINKS

MICHAEL JORDAN, BUT NOT

EVERYBODY LOOKS GOOD, YOU KNOW,

BECAUSE A LOT OF THEM -- THEY

LOOK TERRIBLE, ESPECIALLY FOR

PEOPLE -- THEY HAVE A LONG NOSE

AND BIG EARS.

THERE'S MORE HEAD.

YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS.

AND WHEN THEY TELL US -- US --

AND SAY, "WE LOOK COOL," I DON'T

THINK THEY LOOK THAT COOL.

VERY FEW PEOPLE LOOK GOOD.

IF YOU GOT A ROUND, BIG HEAD,

FLAT NOSE, SMALL EARS -- THEY

LOOK GOOD.

BUT THE REST -- IT'S RIDICULOUS.

>> IT WAS MAGNIFICENT BECAUSE

CARMINE REALLY -- I GOT TO --

WHEN I CAME FROM ITALY AND MY

COUSIN ORIGINALLY WORKED FOR

ANOTHER BROTHER, WHICH THEY HAVE

TWO LOCATIONS.

THEY HAD TWO LOCATIONS.

BUT WE'RE REALLY ALIKE -- IT WAS

CARMINE, BECAUSE CARMINE

REALLY -- HE HAD TO WAIT AND

TAKE CARE OF THE CUSTOMER.

HE LOVED HIS WORK.

IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS,

CARMINE -- HE ALWAYS -- HE WANTS

TO IMPROVE HIMSELF.

AND HE TOOK CARE OF THAT ON --

ON MY PART, YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE HE SAID, "JOHNNY, DON'T

LISTEN TO THE OTHER GUYS."

YOU KNOW, AND EVEN THE BOSS HAD

TOLD ME, "YOU ARE GOOD.

DON'T LET NOBODY PUT IT DOWN,"

BECAUSE THEY -- YOU KNOW, EVEN

IF OTHERS ARE IMPROVING WITH,

YOU KNOW, WHAT WAS AT THAT TIME

THE STYLE.

AND THAT'S THE WAY WE -- REALLY,

WE STARTED THERE.

>> FILL THIS IN.

THESE PIECES ARE BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

YOU CHOOSE TO LOOK LIKE THE HAIR

COMBED.

>> MAGNIFICENT.

>> YOU KNOW, LIKE, BEFORE, USED

TO BE A TOUPEE, THEN USED TO BE

A PIECE, THEN USED TO BE A

SYSTEM.

AND THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL

ABOUT -- A SYSTEM, YOU KNOW, WE

PUT ON THE HEAD.

AND AT THAT TIME, IT WAS A LOT

MORE THICK -- NOT LIKE TODAY.

TODAY YOU CANNOT EVEN TELL THEY

WEAR SOMETHING NOW.

AMAZING THE WAY THE -- THE

INDUSTRY CHANGE.

THE TECHNOLOGY IS UNBELIEVABLE.

AND THEY HAVE NO REASON -- THE

PEOPLE -- THEY HAVE NO HAIR --

NOT TO WEAR SOMETHING LIKE THIS,

BECAUSE, TO ME, THEY LOOK GREAT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, JOHN?

>> WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT THE --

WELL, IT'S -- THOSE DAYS ARE

ALL -- WHAT CARMINE IS TALKING

ABOUT -- WAS STRICTLY WIG USING

TAPE ON -- YOU KNOW -- IT'S LIKE

A DOUBLE-FACED TAPE.

>> JOHN, WE USED TO DO A WIG...

>> YEAH, THEN --

>> ...IN 1950.

>> YEAH, NO. I'M JUST SAYING.

>> RIGHT.

>> AT THE BEGINNING, BEFORE NOW,

AND THEN IT CAME TO THE WIG.

>> WE GOT INTO THE WIG VERY

FAST.

>> VERY FAST -- WE GOT INTO THE

WIG.

>> YOU DON'T SEE NOTHING.

YOU DON'T SEE NOTHING --

NOTHING.

I'M SO HAPPY.

OH, SO, IT MATCHES PERFECT.

>> I CAN ONLY SEE IT FROM HERE,

BUT --

>> MAKE SURE YOU CALL YOUR WIFE

BEFORE YOU GO HOME.

>> SHE'S GONNA BE SHOCKED.

>> SHE MIGHT NOT LET YOU IN.

>> YEAH.

>> MAYBE SHE NO RECOGNIZE YOU.

>> OH, MY GOD.

THAT'S GOT TO BE REALLY -- OH,

MY GOD.

I LOVE IT.

>> IT WAS THE BIGGEST EVENT IN

MY LIFE.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

>> FORGET IT. IT WASN'T...

>> HE WAS AGAINST ALL THE

NATIONS, AND THEY -- THEY WENT

TO CONTESTS FROM ALL OVER THE

WORLD.

AND WHEN THEY CALL HIM -- OH, MY

GOD -- HE WAS ALL THE WAY UP.

I DON'T KNOW -- HE FLEW OR --

HE JUMPED OVER.

IT WAS THE MOST EXCITING AND

JOYFUL THING.

AND FOR ME AND FOR ALL THESE

PEOPLE THAT WERE THERE -- THEY

REALLY LOVE IT.

>> IT'S GREAT MEMORIES -- GREAT.

>> GREAT MEMORIES, YES.

YOU WILL ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU

WANT IN LIFE.

YAHWEH HAS A PURPOSE FOR EACH

AND EVERY ONE OF US IN THIS

LIFE.

I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE EVERYTHING

YOU'RE DOING AND YOU DO IT WITH

YOUR HEART.

YOU REALLY PUT YOURSELF IN.

AND THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT

YOU, AND THAT'S WHAT -- THAT'S

WHY I AM WITH YOU UNTIL, YOU

KNOW, WE'RE GONNA BE HERE TO

THIS EARTH.

>> UNDER THE GROUND.

>> OKAY?

>> THANK YOU.

>> THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU

DO FOR EVERYBODY.

>> YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL GOOD.

>> NO, THAT'S TRUE.

THAT'S THE TRUTH.

>> I THINK THAT...YOU KNOW,

WOMEN WANT -- FIRST OF ALL, THEY

WANT THEIR MAN TO BE HAPPY.

AND -- OH, MY GOD.

THIS -- THIS IS THE KIND OF

THING THAT ALLOWS ME TO DO WHAT

I DO -- COME AND GETTING A GOOD

RUBDOWN.

>> LIKE, IF YOU TAKE CARE OF

NUMBER ONE, THEN YOU'RE ABLE TO

BE A BETTER PARTNER.

>> A REAL MAN...

>> IS ACCOUNTABLE.

>> YEP.

>> AND HE -- AND HE OWNS IT, AND

HE DEALS WITH CONSEQUENCES.

>> AND HE IS ABLE TO BE

COMFORTABLE -- NO MATTER WHAT

HIS SITUATION IS, HE'S LIKE,

"HEY, I'M COMFORTABLE WITH

THAT."

>> RIGHT.

>> YOU KNOW, THAT'S ACTUALLY --

OH, THANK YOU.

>> DID YOU TIRE OUT?

>> I WAS ACTUALLY, WEIRDLY, A

LITTLE UNNERVED ABOUT THAT

MOMENT.

>> YOU WANT TO TRY A -- TRY A

LITTLE CHOPPING, REBECCA?

'CAUSE I'M A LITTLE BIT MORE OF

A MAN.

I CAN HANDLE THAT.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

THAT'S NICE.

CAN TAKE IT. I'M A MAN.

>> WELL, I CAN TAKE IT, TOO.

GO AHEAD, VANITY. DO IT AGAIN.

I'M GOOD. GO BACK.

I CAN TAKE IT.

LOOK AT THAT.

OHH, LOOK AT THAT.

ALL YOU GOT, VANITY.

OPEN 'ER UP.

OH, YEAH.

LOOK AT THAT.

GOING TO TOWN.

NOTHING. MY FACE -- NOTHING.

>> HARDER, REBECCA.

>> DON'T HOLD BACK, VANITY.

>> COULD YOU GET UP THERE AND

WALK ON ME?

>> OH, YEAH. HERE WE GO.

>> DO YOU WANT TO WALK ON ME?

>> YEAH, SURE.

OHH.

>> THERE IT IS.

DON'T YOU GET UP ON THAT TABLE.

>> I CAN GET UP ON THAT TABLE.

>> DON'T YOU GET UP ON THAT

TABLE.

>> DON'T GET UP ON THAT TABLE?

>> DO YOU WANT TO SEE HER WALK

ON YOUR BACK?

>> NO, I DON'T.

>> I'M NOT GONNA WALK ON YOUR

BACK.

>> OH, SHE'S GONNA GO AHEAD AND

MOUNT.

THAT MEANS SHE CAN GET MORE

LEVERAGE, 'CAUSE I CAN TAKE A

LITTLE BIT MORE.

>> OH, HERE WE GO. LOOK AT THAT.

>> THERE IT IS.

I GOT THE MAN'S MASSAGE TODAY.

>> DO YOU?

>> YEAH.

>> 'CAUSE, FROM WHERE I'M

SITTING, YOU'RE ON BOTTOM.

>> I THINK YOU TRY TO LOOK GOOD

TO MEET A WOMAN OR YOU TRY TO

LOOK GOOD SO THE WOMAN DOESN'T

RUN AWAY.

BUT THE LOOKING GOOD FOR

YOURSELF I FIND UP.

>> A TREMENDOUS, TREMENDOUS

AMOUNT OF MY IDENTITY IS

BROADCAST THROUGH MY LOOK.

>> I DON'T THINK THAT YOU CAN

TELL ANYTHING ABOUT PEOPLE'S

CHARACTERS FROM THE WAY THAT

THEY LOOK.

>> IMAGE IS EVERYTHING.

>> I THINK A SUCCESSFUL MAN

COULD BE DEFINED IN A HUNDRED

DIFFERENT WAYS.

THAT'S...

>> I THINK WOMEN ARE WAY MORE

CONCERNED ABOUT THEIR LOOKS.

>> PROBLEM IS YOU HAVE TO KIND

OF KNOW WHO YOU ARE FIRST IF

YOU'RE GONNA -- IF YOU'RE GONNA

DO THAT.

>> WELL, I WILL SAY THAT

SUCCESSFUL MEN HAVE SWAGGER.

>> I THINK IF IT LOOKS LIKE YOU

TRIED REALLY HARD, YEAH, I THINK

IT LOOKS SORT OF BAD.

>> FIRST IMPRESSIONS SAYS

EVERYTHING, OR DOES IT?

CAN WE REALLY TELL WHO A PERSON

IS BY JUST LOOKING AT THEM?

>> MY PERSONALITY, MY CONFIDENCE

IS DERIVED FROM MY LOOKS.

WHEN I FEEL LIKE I LOOK GREAT,

I FEEL FEARLESS.

WE ALL KNOW THAT IT WORKS FOR

WOMEN, SO WHY NOT WORK FOR MEN?

SO, THIS IS WHAT I USED TO LOOK

LIKE AS A TEENAGER.

AND THIS WAS A DIFFICULT TIME

IN -- IN MY LIFE.

MNH.

WHEN WE MOVED INTO THE AREA THAT

WE LIVED, WE WERE THE ONLY SIKH

FAMILY, SO I WAS THE ONLY GUY IN

SCHOOL THAT, ONE, HAD A TURBAN

THAT -- MOST PEOPLE DIDN'T EVEN

KNOW WHAT RELIGION I WAS.

THEY'D NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE.

AND, TWO...

I TALKED LIKE

THIS, SO IT WAS LIKE, "HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU?"

SO, IT WASN'T A

FUN EXPERIENCE BY ANY MEANS.

I HAD MY TURBAN TILL I WAS

ABOUT -- HMM -- I WOULD SAY THE

AGE OF 16.

CAN I PUT GEL IN YOUR HAIR?

>> YES.

>> OUT OF FEAR OF DISAPPOINTING

MY PARENTS, I CUT MY HAIR

GRADUALLY.

>> HE USED TO WEAR A WHITE

PATKA, WE CALL IT.

IT'S A SMALL TURBAN KIND OF A

THING.

AND PEOPLE USED TO CALL HIM

"WHITE HEAD" IN SCHOOL.

>> YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU GET INTO

YOUR TEENAGE YEARS, YOU KIND OF

START TO KIND OF THINK ABOUT,

"OKAY, WE WANT TO DO WHAT OTHER

KIDS DO."

AND I THINK WE WERE ALL GOING

THROUGH THE SAME THING, YOU

KNOW, AT THE SAME TIME.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I WANTED TO

CUT MY HAIR, AND MY SISTER

WANTED TO CUT HER HAIR.

RICK WAS THE LAST ONE.

>> AND I WENT -- I REMEMBER I

WENT TO THE MALL, AND I HAD MY

BRAID, AND HE SAID, "WHAT KIND

OF HAIRCUT DO YOU WANT?"

I SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT?

JUST TAKE A SCISSOR AND...CLIP

THAT."

AFTER I CUT MY HAIR, I STARTED

BEING MORE ACCEPTED INTO THE

SOCIETY THAT WE LIVE IN TODAY,

AND AS I BECAME MORE ACCEPTED,

MY PERSONALITY STARTED TO

CHANGE.

EVERYTHING.

IF I'M WEARING A SUIT, THE

HAIRSTYLE IS THEN SLIGHTLY

SOPHISTICATED.

IF I'M WEARING A TRENDY OUTFIT,

THE HAIR IS DONE DIFFERENTLY --

EVERY SINGLE DAY.

AND, ALSO, YOU KNOW, YOU GET

TIRED OF LOOKING AT YOURSELF.

SO, YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING

THAT YOU SEE SOMEONE DIFFERENT

EVERY DAY AND IT'S A UNIQUE

EXPERIENCE -- NOT ONLY FOR YOU,

FOR THE PEOPLE LOOKING AT YOU,

AS WELL.

I PERSONALLY THINK I LOOK

MASCULINE.

YOU KNOW, WHAT ONE PERSON

DEFINES AS MASCULINITY IS NOT

WHAT SOMEONE ELSE MAY DEFINE AS

MASCULINITY.

I LIKE DOING MASCULINE THINGS.

I LIKE SPORTS.

I LIKE EVERYTHING THAT A NORMAL

GUY LIKES, EXCEPT THAT I JUST

LIKE GROOMING, YOU KNOW?

I LIKE GOING TO THE SALON.

I LIKE TAKING CARE OF MYSELF.

SO, FOR ME, THAT'S ALSO VERY

MASCULINE.

>> I DEFINITELY THINK THERE'S --

MEN ARE BECOMING MORE VAIN.

AND YOU CAN ATTRIBUTE THAT TO A

LOT OF REASONS.

YOU KNOW, MEN'S MAGAZINES ARE

PLAYING UP ON THE INSECURITIES

OF MEN, MUCH LIKE WOMEN'S

MAGAZINES HAVE DONE FOR SO MANY

YEARS -- ABOUT THEIR BODY IMAGE,

THE WAY THEY LOOK.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T LOOK --

IF YOU'RE NOT FIT, YOU DON'T

HAVE THE SIX-PACK ABS, YOU DON'T

HAVE, YOU KNOW, GOOD SKIN,

YOU'RE NOT GONNA -- YOU'RE NOT

GONNA BE LUCKY WITH THE LADIES,

SO YOU HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS.

>> MEN'S HEALT MAGAZINE TREATS

MEN THE WAY WOMEN'S MAGAZINES

TREAT FEMALE READERS, WHICH IS

TO SAY, YOU KNOW, "GET WASHBOARD

ABS.

LOSE 10 POUNDS.

DUMP THAT GIRLFRIEND.

CHANGE YOUR LOOK -- HOW TO BE

BETTER."

AND MEN FLOCK TO IT.

>> IF I WAS TO SAY, FROM A SCALE

TO 1 TO 10, HOW DO I FEEL OR HOW

DO I THINK I LOOK?

MM, I WOULD SAY ABOUT A 6.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

1 TO 10? IT DEPENDS.

I THINK...

I TRY NOT TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR

THAT OFTEN.

I STOPPED DOING THAT A LONG TIME

AGO...WHICH IS VAIN WITHIN

ITSELF.

BUT...

TO CERTAIN PEOPLE, I PROBABLY AM

A 1, AND THEN, TO OTHER PEOPLES,

I'M A STRONG 2.

AND THEN I DON'T THINK -- I

DON'T THINK I'VE GONE PAST

2 1/2.

TOO BAD.

>> BEAUTY IS NOT SOMETHING THAT

ENDS.

IT'S IN CONSTANT EVOLUTION.

I WANTED TO GET A MANICURE

TODAY.

IT -- IT'S A LIFELONG THING

THAT -- WE ALWAYS TRY TO IMPROVE

EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE, SO WHY

NOT OURSELVES?

WHY NOT THE OUTER EXPERIENCE?

YOU KNOW, EVERYONE HAS A HOBBY.

MY LOOKS HAVE BECOME MY HOBBY.

I LOOK TO IMPROVE.

I LOOK TO SEE WHAT I CAN DO

BETTER.

I'M ALWAYS RESEARCHING NEW

PRODUCT OR ALWAYS ASKING PEOPLE

QUESTIONS.

AM I A METROSEXUAL?

ABSOLUTELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT.

IF YOU OPEN UP A DICTIONARY AND

SEE "METROSEXUAL," YOU WILL SEE

MY PICTURE...LIKE THIS.

>> I THINK THE -- THE WORD

"METROSEXUAL" HAS NOT CAUGHT ON.

I THINK IT WAS CREATED TO BE

POLITICALLY CORRECT SO YOU COULD

SAY YOU WERE REALLY INTO HOW YOU

LOOKED AND MAKE IT VERY CLEAR

THAT YOU WERE NOT GAY, SO IT'S

KIND OF AN OFFENSIVE TERM IN

SOME WAY, AND I DON'T HEAR

ANYONE USING IT.

IT'S ACTUALLY PROBABLY -- IT

WOULD BE LAME TO -- TO TALK

ABOUT YOURSELF IN THAT WAY.

I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYONE SAY,

"I'M METROSEXUAL."

>> OKAY, A METROSEXUAL IS A MAN

WHO THINKS WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT

EVERY LITTLE DETAIL OF HIS

PRECIOUS LITTLE BEING.

HE HAS THIS IDEA THAT HIS

EYEBROWS NEED TO BE JUST SO,

THAT HE NEEDS TO BE PLUCKED AND

SHAVED EVERYWHERE.

>> HI.

>> HI.

>> HOW ARE YOU?

>> WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK

LIKE WE SPEND ANY APPRECIABLE

TIME OR ENERGY ON OUR

APPEARANCE.

WE HAVE TO HAVE THAT KIND OF

CASUAL, UNAFFECTED LOOK.

ON THE OTHER HAND, WE HAVE TO BE

PERFECT.

>> MORE AND MORE GUYS HAVE BEGUN

TO GROOM.

AND WOMEN HAVE A MIXED REACTION.

THERE'S SOME TYPES OF GROOMING

THAT THEY'RE OKAY WITH AND EVEN

WANT, AND THERE'S SOME WHERE IT

CROSSES A LINE.

AND I THINK THAT'S WHAT'S HARD

FOR GUYS TO KNOW SOMETIMES --

WHAT IS THE LINE?

>> YOU SEE THAT?

>> OH, OKAY.

>> I JUST WANT TO TAKE, LIKE,

MAYBE 3 OR 4 HAIRS OUT RIGHT

THERE.

>> MM-HMM.

>> RIGHT HERE.

JUST RIGHT HERE, TO GIVE IT A

LITTLE BIT MORE OF AN ARCH.

SAME THING RIGHT HERE.

>> I WAS GONNA SAY...

>> SEE THESE HAIRS GROWING IN

RIGHT HERE?

THAT FELT LIKE MORE THAN FOUR

HAIRS.

>> MM-HMM.

>> YEAH?

>> MM-HMM.

>> PERFECT.

>> LET'S -- LET'S TALK ABOUT THE

EMOTION OF WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU

WHEN YOU DON'T SEE YOURSELF AS

JUST ABOUT PERFECT.

YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

WHAT YOU SHOULD LOOK LIKE AND

WHAT YOU DO LOOK LIKE.

IN THAT SPACE IS ANXIETY.

IN THAT SPACE IS, "HOW CAN I

MAKE MYSELF LOOK LIKE I'M

SUPPOSED TO LOOK?"

>> IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL.

IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW THINGS MAKE

YOU FEEL.

I MEAN, I THINK THERE'S, LIKE, A

LITTLE BIT OF TORTURE TO BEING A

METROSEXUAL MAN.

>> THINK ABOUT IT -- TO KEEP

THAT UP -- WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT

GOING -- YOU'VE GOT TO SPEND A

LONG TIME IN THE MIRROR EVERY

SINGLE DAY, JUST LOVING YOU SOME

YOU.

THAT'S WHY I HATE THESE GUYS --

THEY'RE NARCISSISTS.

>> SO, THE REASON I STARE IN THE

MIRROR IS NOT BECAUSE OF

CONFIDENCE -- IT'S BECAUSE OF AN

INSECURITY.

I NEED REASSURANCE THAT I DO NOT

LOOK LIKE WHAT I DID WHEN I GREW

UP, BECAUSE INSIDE, I STILL FEEL

LIKE THAT PERSON.

I HAVE A CONSULTATION WITH

DR. SCHWARTZ.

>> SCHULTZ?

>> YEAH.

>> WHAT'S YOUR NAME, PLEASE?

>> WHEN I GOT TO THE DOCTOR'S

OFFICE, I WANTED TO FIND OUT --

AGAIN, THIS GOES BACK TO THE

CONSTANT RESEARCH PROCESS.

SO, WHEN I GOT THERE, I

LAID IT OUT -- THE PLETHORA OF

THINGS THAT I DON'T LIKE ABOUT

MYSELF TO FIND OUT HIS

EXPERTISE -- HOW TO IMPROVE IT,

HOW TO GET THINGS THAT I DON'T

LIKE ABOUT MYSELF TO CHANGE.

>> HOW YOU DOING ON THIS WET,

RAINY DAY?

>> I'M DOING ALL RIGHT.

>> YEAH?

>> I'LL BE DOING BETTER IF YOU

TELL ME I CAN LOOK BETTER.

>> ON THE COSMETIC WISH LIST,

WHICH JUST GIVES YOU A SPECTRUM

OF THE KIND OF STUFF WE DO...

>> RIGHT.

>> ...YOU'VE INDICATED THAT --

SOME THINGS ON YOUR FACE

CONCERNING LINES AND WRINKLES.

>> RIGHT.

>> HOW OLD ARE YOU?

>> 35.

>> OKAY. YOU LOOK PRETTY DARN

GOOD FOR 35.

>> THANK YOU.

>> LET'S START THERE.

>> SO, I TOOK FULL ADVANTAGE

OF -- OR TRIED TO TAKE FULL

ADVANTAGE OF THIS MAN'S

KNOWLEDGE TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR

MYSELF AS TO WHAT I WOULD LIKE

TO DO.

ULTIMATELY, I GOT THE PROCEDURE

OF GETTING RID OF MY BROKEN

CAPILLARIES, WHICH REALLY

BOTHERED ME.

>> YOU'RE GONNA FEEL FIRST HOT

AND -- AND THEN COLD...

>> OKAY.

>> ...AND THEN COLD AND THEN

PRICKLY HOT.

>> SO, IT'S LIKE A WOMAN.

>> OKAY. THERE YOU GO.

NOW WE'RE COOKING.

YOU OKAY WITH THAT?

>> YEAH.

>> ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.

WE'RE ALMOST DONE.

PICK UP THE ONE OVER THERE.

AND TURN ALL THE WAY TO ME.

THERE YOU GO.

>> I CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE AT

STEP 5 OF A 10-STEP PROGRAM, AS

FAR AS GROOMING AND LOOKS ARE

CONCERNED.

AND I'M DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR

THE SIXTH STEP, 'CAUSE I KNOW

THERE IS A SIXTH AND A SEVENTH

AND AN EIGHTH STEP OUT THERE

THAT CAN MAKE ME LOOK BETTER.

NOT BAD, MAN.

NOT BAD AT ALL.

AND WHEN I LOOK FABULOUS, I FEEL

LIKE I CAN OPEN UP THE WORLD.

MEN DO NOT REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT

LOOKS ARE.

YOU KNOW, YOU GO INTO A BAR --

WE'RE ALL GOING FOR THE SAME

THING.

WE'RE LOOKING TO ATTRACT EITHER

THE OPPOSITE SEX, SAME SEX --

WHATEVER YOU'RE INTO.

YOU'RE LOOKING TO ATTRACT

SOMETHING.

HI. I'M RICKY.

>> HI. I'M JOANNA.

>> NICE TO MEET YOU, JOANNA.

>> THANK YOU.

>> HIS -- HIS ABS ARE

INCREDIBLE.

>> YEAH, I WOULD LIKE TO SEE

THEM -- ALL 12 OF THEM.

>> THIS IS JUST INSANE, DUDE.

>> OH, MY GOD!

>> LISTEN, JUST CONCENTRATE ON

ME, AND YOU GUYS WILL BE

ROCK-SOLID.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> GOOD-LOOKING?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S -- I'M CONFIDENT.

SOMETIMES I FEEL GOOD-LOOKING.

SOMETIMES I DON'T.

BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO ASK

SOMEBODY ELSE WHETHER I'M

GOOD-LOOKING OR NOT, 'CAUSE IT

DEPENDS ON THE PERSON THAT'S

ACTUALLY LOOKING AT ME THAT WILL

TELL YOU.

I'M NOT EVERYONE'S TYPE.

I CAN TELL YOU THAT.

>> THE ONLY REAL REASON YOU HAVE

TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK ANY WHICH

WAY IS BECAUSE YOU'RE MAKING

YOURSELF LOOK ATTRACTIVE TO

SOMEONE YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH,

WHETHER THAT BE MALE OR FEMALE.

YOU'RE -- YOU'RE MAKING YOURSELF

PRESENTABLE IN A WAY THAT YOU

THINK IS GONNA GET YOU SEX.

>> I'VE NEVER HAD A LOOK THAT

I'VE FOUND PARTICULARLY

APPEALING, ALTHOUGH I'M PROBABLY

ONE OF THE FEW WOMEN IN THE

WORLD WHO THINKS REDHEADED MEN

ARE ATTRACTIVE.

>> THERE'S A LITTLE-KNOWN

SECRET, WHICH IS THE LITTLE

DUDES GET ALL THE

>> YES.

>> I JUST LOVE SUCCESSFUL MEN

THAT ARE MANLY.

>> TEND TO BE DRAWN TO, LIKE,

BEARDED MEN IN PLAID SHIRTS.

>> I LIKE TYPICAL NEW YORK CITY

GUYS.

>> I MEAN, I WOULD SAY I DIG

VERY, LIKE, FEMININE-LOOKING

MEN, ALTHOUGH ALL THE MEN I DATE

NOW HATE ME, SO...

>> A REAL MAN, WHO DRINKS BEER,

LIKES SPORTS...

>> AU REVOIR!

>> ...FARTS, BURPS -- ALL OF

THAT.

THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF.

>> THE LONG HAIR -- LIKE, A KIND

OF MESSY PONYTAIL IS PRETTY HOT.

>> I LIKE MEN WITH TATTOOS.

I THINK THAT IS VERY ATTRACTIVE.

>> EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE SEXY,

AND SEXY MEANS WHAT?

>> THERE ARE A LOT OF TYPES OF

GUYS IN THE WORLD.

>> AND IF YOU LOOK LIKE YOU

CAN'T BUILD A SHELF...

>> UH...

>> ...I CAN'T SLEEP WITH YOU.

I WILL THE FIRST NIGHT, BUT I

WON'T CALL YOU BACK.

>> I DO LIKE TO THINK, FOR EVERY

GUY, NO MATTER HOW CRAZY HIS

STYLE IS, THAT THERE IS GONNA BE

A GIRL FOR HIM, BECAUSE SHE

PROBABLY, YOU KNOW, JUST HAS

THAT WEIRD SENSE OF STYLE, AS

WELL.

>> MEN LOVE WOMEN, AND FOR GOOD

BIOLOGICAL REASONS.

I MEAN, IF YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH

SOMEBODY AND HAVE FOUR CHILDREN,

YOU LIVE ON, AND YOUR FRIEND WHO

DOESN'T FALL IN LOVE AND HAS NO

CHILDREN DIES OUT.

SO, THE GAME OF LOVE MATTERS.

GROOMING IS ABOUT COURTSHIP,

BECAUSE, FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS,

COURTSHIP WAS ESSENTIAL TO YOUR

SURVIVAL.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, YOU FEEL LIKE A MAN,

RIGHT?

DO YOU FEEL LIKE A BETTER MAN?

>> I FEEL LIKE A RELAXED, BETTER

MAN, YES.

>> BECAUSE YOU'RE CLEAN.

>> YEAH, 'CAUSE I'M CLEAN AND I

TOOK CARE, YOU KNOW?

I GOT TO -- I GOT TO POLISH MY

WIFE'S PRIZE, YOU KNOW?

>> ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S JUST

IT, RIGHT?

ISN'T A MAN'S -- PART OF A MAN'S

JOB IS TO PROCREATE?

AND WHO WANTS TO PROCREATE WITH

A DIRTY MAN?

>> RIGHT.

SO, IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOURSELF

LIKE A GRUBBY SLOB, YOU'RE

FIGHTING NATURE, DUDE.

AND NATURE ALWAYS WINS...

EXCEPT FOR AGAINST ROBOTS.

BUT ROBOTS DON'T HAVE TO TAKE

CARE OF THEMSELVES.

>> SO, LIKE, ZOMBIES WILL TAKE

YOU DOWN.

>> MY POINT IS -- ZOMBIES ARE

ALSO NOT TAKING CARE OF

THEMSELVES.

BUT US -- YOU AND ME -- WE HAVE

THE OPTION TO DO THAT, AND WE

DID IT.

AND YOU FEEL GOOD, RIGHT?

>> I FEEL CLEAN.

I FEEL READY TO --

>> YOU SMELL GREAT.

>> I FEEL READY TO PROCREATE.

>> I CAN GET RID OF THIS BEARD

IN A SECOND WITH A RAZOR,

EASILY.

WHAT'S THAT?

NOT NOW!

THIS IS MARCUS.

IT'S A BIRD.

NO!

SHUT UP!

OKAY.

>> THERE WAS PROBABLY ONE GUY

IN, LIKE, A REGIMENT WHO HAD THE

HITLER MUSTACHE AND TOOK A LOT

OF SHIT FROM THE OTHER DUDES IN

THE REGIMENT -- LIKE, "OH, HE'S

A BROWN NOSER.

HE'S KISSING HITLER'S ASS."

AND THAT GUY WAS PROBABLY DOING

ONE OF THESE THINGS -- "I HAD

THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL, DUDE.

I'LL GET OUT MY YEARBOOK.

I HAD -- HITLER RIPPED --

HE RIPPED ME OFF."

>> SOME PEOPLE CAN PULL OFF

CERTAIN LOOKS.

I CAN'T PULL OFF A TRACK SUIT.

I COULD PULL OFF A TRACK SUIT,

IF IT WAS ON THE RIGHT GUY.

>> I WAS REALLY INTO THE THRIFT

STORE FOR A WHILE, AND THEN A

FRIEND OF MINE SAID ONE TIME,

WHO WAS A LITTLE OLDER THAN ME,

"I DON'T WANT TO WEAR PANTS THAT

SOMEBODY ELSE FARTED IN."

>> THERE WERE TIMES IN MY LIFE

WHEN I WAS NOT SHOWERING.

LET'S PUT THAT OUT -- LET'S PUT

THAT OUT THERE.

THERE WERE TIMES.

I'M JUST NOT INTO IT.

BUT NOW TWICE A DAY SOMETIMES.

I'D LOVE TO WATCH -- I'D LOVE

FOR YOU GUYS TO WATCH ME SHOWER,

IF THAT'S PART OF THE

DOCUMENTARY THAT YOU HAD -- I

MEAN, WASN'T THAT THE AGREEMENT

WE MADE?