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1
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,520
(MUTTERS)
2
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Have you got change for £1?
3
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,360
No.
4
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,360
There's two kinds of people
in this world -
5
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,080
those who'd put in £2
6
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,360
and those who'd put in one.
7
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,120
Which kind are you?
8
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,080
Mm.
9
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,120
Morning.
10
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,920
- Oh, good morning, Robert. Good morning.
- Morning.
11
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,960
Hello, Neil. What have you got there?
12
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:25,960
Ooh!
13
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,520
Helvellyn via Striding Edge.
14
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:28,800
Right. Yes, I-I...
15
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I might be inclined to try something else.
16
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,120
Ooh, look, Catbells.
17
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,080
This is a lovely gentle walk.
18
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:38,960
It's, er... Look, it's only
a 500-metre ascent.
19
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,800
There's a bit of scrambling involved
but I'm sure the boys would love that.
20
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,360
Yeah. I think we'll be all right
with Helvellyn, thanks.
21
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,880
Right.
22
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:51,280
It's just that that can be, er, rather
challenging, if not downright treacherous.
23
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,280
- What's he looking at?
- Helvellyn via Striding Edge.
24
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:57,800
(CHORTLES)
25
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,760
Hey! I've been up Snowdon 11 times.
26
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,720
Really? W-Which route?
27
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,040
It... The...
28
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:06,280
The bottom to the top!
29
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:08,960
Cheerio.
30
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,680
Yeah, but...
31
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,240
(CHUCKLES)
32
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,720
Right.
33
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:24,920
Change of plan.
34
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,560
We're not going t'Pencil Museum.
35
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,920
We are conquering Helvellyn
via Striding Edge.
36
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,920
- Yes!
- Helvellyn? Isn't that a mountain?
37
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,640
Third highest in England.
Over 3,000 feet above sea level.
38
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,520
- Get in!
- You've never been for a walk
39
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,520
- in your life.
- And you're terrified of heights.
40
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,280
When I was a kid,
I went up Snowdon 11 times.
41
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:42,800
Yeah, on the little steam train.
42
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,240
I know what I'm doing.
43
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,760
I've seen Touching The Void.
44
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,960
3,000 feet? You'll be touching the cloth.
45
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,320
It'll be fine.
It's just a matter of preparation.
46
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,800
We'll take a big bottle of water
and some Jaffa Cakes.
47
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,800
Oh, yeah, Sherpa Tenzing never went
anywhere without his Jaffa Cakes.
48
00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,360
Got it.
49
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,960
Right, come on.
50
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,280
Supplies.
51
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,880
They're going up where?
52
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:13,440
Helvellyn via Striding Edge.
53
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,720
It's like walking along a razor blade.
It's just...
54
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,520
I'm not entirely sure
he knows what he's doing.
55
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,960
If the oaf wants to kill himself,
that's his affair.
56
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,600
What about Fiona and the boys?
57
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,120
I thought we could go with them.
58
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,720
Well, you can hold their hands
if you like.
59
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,400
I'm getting waxed in Keswick.
60
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,400
Oh, come on, darling.
I thought you could wear
61
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:31,680
those hiking boots I got you
for your birthday.
62
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,520
I believe they're still
sitting in their box.
63
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,720
And the fresh air will do you good.
64
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,240
Don't waft!
65
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,840
I told you about wafting.
66
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,320
I just thought we could do something
together as a family.
67
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,360
Darling, nothing would give me
greater pleasure
68
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:46,320
than to recreate The Sound Of Music
with your friends from Stoke but...
69
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,640
...I can't let Maurizio down.
70
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:48,680
Ah, you're awake.
71
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,680
- Barely.
- Oh, by the way, Maurizio called.
72
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,320
- Ugh!
- He said he's had to go to Hartlepool.
73
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:55,480
His mum's had a fall.
74
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,600
Wonderful!
75
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,240
Dig out those boots!
76
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,200
Ha-ha. Come on, dolly.
77
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,480
Have you been at these Jaffa Cakes?
78
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:07,880
LITTLE NEIL: I've only had a couple.
79
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,520
We've not left the house yet!
80
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,080
Ready when you are, Robert.
81
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,520
Oh, yeah, terrific.
82
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,320
Well done. I was just, er...
83
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:15,800
...just waiting on Julia Bradbury.
84
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,480
Oh, thanks for coming with us.
85
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,160
Oh, no, not at all. Not at all.
86
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,320
If they can't keep up,
we're leaving them behind.
87
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:23,960
Did you buy these for a geisha?
88
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,960
All I need is a kimono and a fan.
89
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,680
They'll be fine
once you've broken them in.
90
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:28,880
How long will that take?
91
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,320
About 48 hours.
92
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,680
Two days solid, including the nights?
93
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,840
Darling, I did tell you to wear them
around the house.
94
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,560
For the trek to the drawing-room?
Or a dinner party, perhaps?
95
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,680
They'd go beautifully
with my Lagerfeld tulle.
96
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:41,800
(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)
97
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,760
We really should get going
if we want to get back before lunchtime.
98
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,880
Lunchtime? Oh...
99
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,280
I think we might be rather
longer than that.
100
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,400
- You might.
- Ha!
101
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,080
Right, so shall we rendezvous
main car park, Glenridding?
102
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,640
Glenridding...
103
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,440
Hold on, it's, er...
104
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,680
...grid reference NY 385 169.
105
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,480
- 169?
- Yeah.
106
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:10,440
Yeah, well, that'd help if you give me
the ley-line reference as well, you know,
107
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,960
but don't worry. I-I'll suss it.
108
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:14,880
It's just, er...
109
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,160
It's just here. It's just near Ullswater.
110
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,960
All right. We'll find it.
111
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,160
What have you got there?
It looks very fancy.
112
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,600
Oh, no, not really.
It's just a little GPS device.
113
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,960
Electronic compass, barometric altimeter,
that sort of thing.
114
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,680
It was a godsend in the Pyrenees.
115
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,920
Well, I'll stick with my trusty OS map,
thanks.
116
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,080
- Ah, yes.
- Seen me through many an adventure.
117
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,160
- Ah.
- Every tear tells a tale.
118
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,520
You just found that in the cupboard.
119
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,600
Maps were good enough
for Mallory and Irvine.
120
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,720
- And they were never seen again.
- Oh, no,
121
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,080
they found Mallory's body eventually.
122
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,120
Is that fully charged?
123
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,920
Yes, fully charged and ready to go,
as are we.
124
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,960
Shall we make a move?
Come on, team.
125
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,040
- We'll see you in the car park.
- Yep.
126
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,800
Come on, Hopalong.
127
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,360
(MUTTERS)
128
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,400
ROBERT: Come on, everybody.
129
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,880
Doing terribly well.
130
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:10,000
Up we go.
131
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,000
PENNY: People weren't designed for this.
132
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,880
Goats have hooves for a reason.
133
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,160
They'll save a fortune in shoes.
134
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,960
You can't paint a hoof, mind.
135
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,240
Why does anyone do this?
136
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,240
What's the point?
137
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:28,720
He'll drag us all to the top of the hill
and he'll drag us all the way down again.
138
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,120
I'm married to the Grand Old Duke of York.
139
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,760
Ow, God!
140
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,480
I've never known pain like it!
141
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,520
Do nurses carry morphine?
142
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,000
Er, not usually, no.
143
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,520
You don't think it will have to come off,
do you?
144
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:41,680
I think you'll be OK.
145
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,120
How long have we been going?
146
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,720
About half-hour.
147
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,120
Oh, wonderful.
148
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:52,760
Only 47-and-a-half hours of - oh! -
agony to go.
149
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,520
What's it like, being adopted?
150
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,560
I cry myself to sleep every night.
151
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,040
- Seriously?
- No.
152
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,400
No, of course not. You know,
I couldn't wish for better parents.
153
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,080
- My boyfriend says he's had...
- Garth!
154
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,440
She's got a boyfriend!
155
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,400
NEIL: I'm not going to follow
these orange paths.
156
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:14,920
They all just go round in circles.
157
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,120
No, they are, er...
158
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,000
Those are contour lines. They indicate
the elevation of the terrain.
159
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,160
Yeah, well...
160
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,280
...don't need a map
to know I'm going uphill.
161
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,200
Come on, you lot. One last push. Hey,
162
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,880
should have brought a flag!
Well, what are you waiting for?
163
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,720
Get your phone out.
We'll take a selfie on the summit.
164
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,040
Don't know what you're so worried about.
165
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,040
We're almost...
166
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,320
...there.
167
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,680
Now, remember what I said -
if she's dropped a dress size,
168
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,640
it'll be you she's dropping next.
All right?
169
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,800
So, this is what all the fuss is about?
170
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:13,440
Neil? Neil?
171
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:16,920
ROBERT: Yeah, these false peaks
can be very deceptive.
172
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,480
I encountered a similar problem
when we were in the Dolomites.
173
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,400
Thought I was summiting Marmolada.
174
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:22,960
Yeah, well, I didn't think it was the top.
175
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,960
I was just trying to boost morale.
176
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,520
Oh. Ha-ha.
177
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,480
Oh, right, excellent idea. Well done.
178
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,560
- Right, hang on a minute.
- Right.
179
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,200
Oh.
180
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,840
169...
181
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,080
(MUTTERS)
182
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,200
16...
183
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,560
16... Oh, 13...
184
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,600
No, I...
185
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,480
Actually, I think that's upside down.
186
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:53,960
Could you, er...?
187
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,600
If you...just...
188
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,960
Yeah.
189
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,600
It's right. Up that hill.
190
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,800
Neil, I'm sure you're right but, er,
would you mind if I just, er,
191
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,280
quickly double-check the gizmo? Hold on.
192
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,720
Er... Oh, would you believe it?
193
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,760
It's, er...
It's actually telling us to go that way.
194
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,320
Does it?
195
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,600
And if it told you to
step off a precipice, would you?
196
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,440
You can't rely on those things!
197
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,440
Neil!
198
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,240
I went to a conference
in South Wales once.
199
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,880
I put "Newport" in the sat nav,
ended up on the Isle of Wight.
200
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,560
Didn't you realise something was amiss
when you were on the ferry?
201
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,120
Well, I thought I'd been re-routed.
202
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,880
Look, I've actually done this walk
a couple of times and I now recall,
203
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,640
i-i-it's definitely left.
204
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:38,640
Good.
205
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,840
Well, come on, my lot. We're going right.
206
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,680
Don't be daft. Robert knows the way!
207
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,560
- I want to go with Dad.
- I don't.
208
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,800
He's got the Jaffa Cakes.
209
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,360
The Jaffa Cakes are coming with us
and so's your father.
210
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,080
It's a question of safety.
211
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,760
You lot do what you want.
212
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,800
I'm going this way.
213
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,600
Neil, what are you doing?
214
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:55,760
Wait for me!
215
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,920
- What?
- I think you're right.
216
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,520
I think it's right.
217
00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:00,920
Darling, I think it's probably better
if we stick together.
218
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,200
Right it is.
219
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,600
(SIGHS)
220
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,880
Well, follow us, then.
221
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:06,920
I'll see you at the top, Dad.
222
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,480
Aye, we'll be waiting for you.
223
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,920
And, hey, we will get that selfie.
224
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,040
Oh, Neil!
225
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,560
Honestly, honestly, don't... Don't worry.
226
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:18,120
As soon as they're out of sight,
Penny will head straight back down.
227
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,680
By the time we've reached the summit,
she'll be sitting
228
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,200
in her hot tub with
a nicely chilled Pinot Grigio.
229
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,480
What about Neil?
230
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:24,520
Well...
231
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,280
...Lady Penelope needs her Parker.
232
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,600
I'm afraid he won't even have a choice.
233
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,080
Well, I hope you're right.
234
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,680
Hmm.
235
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,480
Right, come on, gang. This way.
236
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,160
Neil, are you there?
237
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:45,840
Neil?
238
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,560
(PANTS)
239
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,600
Thank God!
240
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,640
- They're out of sight.
- Eh?
241
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:15,000
We can go down now.
You can drive us home.
242
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,360
That was the plan, wasn't it?
243
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,280
No.
244
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,520
We're going this way
because the map said "right".
245
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,240
The map said nothing.
You were guessing.
246
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:24,680
You're no more capable of reaching
247
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,400
- the top of this mountain than I am.
- Hey!
248
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,320
I've been up Snowdon 11 times.
249
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:32,600
My husband has climbed Kilimanjaro,
scaled the face of El Capitan,
250
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,000
made mincemeat of the Matterhorn.
251
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,680
He's trekked the Rockies,
the Andes and the Hindu Kush, but you,
252
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,880
a newsagent from Stoke-on-Trent,
know better?
253
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,640
(CHUCKLES) I think not.
254
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:46,000
Yep. Well, I made a promise to my son.
255
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,640
I will see him at the summit
and we will take that selfie together.
256
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:54,240
If you want to go down without a map
and water and Jaffa Cakes,
257
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,520
then be my guest.
258
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:57,040
But me?
259
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,880
I've got an appointment with destiny.
260
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,680
And I had an appointment with Maurizio.
261
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:06,120
Do you know how hard it is
to get an appointment with him?
262
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:10,000
(BOTH MUTTER)
263
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,760
Follow me. Oh!
264
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,120
- Rocks!
- (GROANS)
265
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,120
(DOG BARKS)
266
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,760
Quiet, Fang.
267
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,200
Can I help you?
268
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:53,040
My name is Mercy. Mercy Hackett.
269
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,920
Do you know where my Neil is?
270
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,560
Is he the bloke from Stoke?
271
00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:01,040
They're definitely up here this weekend
but nobody's answering the door.
272
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,200
Did they not know you were coming?
273
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,400
- (DOG BARKS)
- Quiet, Fang.
274
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:04,960
(DOG GROWLS)
275
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,760
I'll be in Burslem Cemetery
before she invites me.
276
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,120
I invite my lot up all the time.
277
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,640
Have they ever been? Once,
278
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,520
when they wanted a deposit on a house.
279
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,560
Oh! Shocking, in't it?
280
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,040
Kettle's just boiled.
281
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,560
Fancy a cup of tea?
282
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,840
Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?
283
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,400
I'll do it.
284
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,000
You sit yourself down.
285
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,600
- (DOG BARKS)
- Quiet, Fang.
286
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,320
And I felt so good...
287
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000
- FIONA: Oh, wow! Look!
- ROBERT: Look at that.
288
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,640
Terrific!
289
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,000
FIONA: Look at that!
290
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,600
That's fantastic. Look at that shot there.
291
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,240
(CHUCKLES)
292
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,960
Hey! Be nice, you.
293
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,280
I think you and the boys did jolly well.
294
00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,880
Mum, I'm starving.
295
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,000
Well, we, er...
296
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,800
We could, er, you know... We could stop
for a bite and a drink
297
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,000
in, er...in Pooley Bridge.
298
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,480
Hair-raising, isn't it?
299
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,960
I was scared, too, my first time.
300
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,120
No, I...
301
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,000
I wasn't scared. I was...
302
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,480
I was seeing if there was an echo.
303
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,520
Look, about earlier...
304
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,440
It's times like that I'm glad
I don't have a little brother.
305
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,440
I don't fancy you.
306
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,920
Oh. Thank you.
307
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,600
Not... Not that I think you're ugly
or anything. It's j...
308
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,360
There's someone else.
309
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,440
Oh.
310
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:32,960
And does he or she have a name?
311
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,000
She. She.
312
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,560
So, tell me all about this lucky lady.
313
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,880
Well, she's...er...
314
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,720
- She's lovely.
- Who is?
315
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,280
Garth's girlfriend.
316
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,560
Garth's girlfriend?
317
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,800
Yeah.
318
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,160
How long have you guys been together?
319
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,160
Oh, they've... They've been together ages.
320
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,800
She just lives up the road.
321
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,960
We've known the...Dups for years.
322
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,280
Yeah. Yeah, the... The Dups.
323
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,360
Mr and Mrs Dup,
324
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,440
Jason Dup, Joey Dup
325
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,160
and their sister May.
326
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,600
May.
327
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:03,680
That's a pretty name.
328
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,680
Yeah, his girlfriend's May Dup.
329
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,520
- (CHUCKLES)
- You're dead!
330
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,600
Get here now! Get here!
331
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,080
I hope they did turn back.
332
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,720
Neil gets vertigo on the escalators
at the Potteries Centre.
333
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,440
I promise you, there's very little that
comes between my wife and a Pinot Grigio.
334
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,480
- Hmm.
- They'll be absolutely fine.
335
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,800
Right.
336
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,800
Well, that's just brilliant.
337
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:29,560
I can't believe you've poured
the last of the water on your feet.
338
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,400
It was my turn. What I did with it
was none of your business.
339
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,280
Yeah, but it was my water
in the first place!
340
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,920
Like it was your Jaffa Cake, and you had
to eat it right in front of me.
341
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,400
I offered you half of it.
342
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,400
Only after you'd bitten it.
343
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,880
You should have broken it in two.
Everybody knows that.
344
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,000
I didn't want to lose any of the crumbs!
345
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,400
I don't even drink tap water.
346
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,400
Hey, now, there could be all sorts
in there.
347
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,920
These streams are glowing after Chernobyl.
348
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,360
One sip of that,
you'd be like the Ready Brek kid.
349
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,480
Robert drinks from these things
all the time.
350
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,360
Well, I bet he does.
351
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,120
I bet he walks on them, too.
352
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,480
How do we know there's not
a dead sheep upstream?
353
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,000
You can't drown in that.
354
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,520
Drown? How about poisoned?
355
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,040
These mountain streams
are littered with corpses.
356
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,760
You've never been up
a mountain in your life.
357
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,360
I've been up Snowdon 11 times!
358
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,040
Well, I'm drinking it.
359
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,000
You can die of thirst for all I care.
360
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,000
Don't say I didn't warn you,
361
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,320
because my conscience is clear.
362
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:29,120
Hey, and it'll not be me
carrying you back down.
363
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,040
Oh!
364
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,440
Oh!
365
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,960
Oh!
366
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,280
Oh, they should bottle this stuff!
367
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:42,960
Oh!
368
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,120
Oh!
369
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,440
LITTLE NEIL: What were you crying?
What were you crying, Garth?
370
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,040
- "Mummy! Mummy!"
- I never...
371
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,160
I never said that.
372
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,400
- "Mummy!"
- I...
373
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,680
I was seeing if there was an echo.
374
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,080
Don't mind me. I'm just taking
375
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:12,240
- a few snaps for the website.
- Oh, right.
376
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,240
"Mummy, I'm scared!"
377
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,400
- Ouch! He just stabbed me.
- He's making it up.
378
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,680
Stop it, the pair of you.
I'm sorry about the racket.
379
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,320
It's what families are all about.
380
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,040
(CLEARS HIS THROAT) We're...
381
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:27,000
(ALL LAUGH AWKWARDLY)
382
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:31,520
Oh, my brothers and I used to
rag on each other all the time.
383
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,360
I used to hate the county chess finals.
384
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,320
My brother would be kicking my legs
under the table.
385
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:37,160
My shins would be black and blue.
386
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,800
Garth likes chess.
387
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,920
- He's got a lovely Harry Potter set.
- Oh, right.
388
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,240
He used to take Dumbledore
to bed with him.
389
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,280
No, I d... I...
390
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,480
- I didn't. I didn't.
- Used to run around the kitchen
391
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,280
- on the mop playing quidditch.
- (ROBERT CHUCKLES)
392
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:50,440
Quidditch! Oh, that sounds like fun.
393
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,000
He cried when I flushed his Dobby
down the toilet.
394
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,560
That was you?
395
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,560
Don't be embarrassed.
396
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,400
When I was little, I lost my Furby
at Kuala Lumpur Airport
397
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,720
and I bawled my eyes out
the whole way home.
398
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,080
I was just the same
when My Little Pony went missing.
399
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:07,160
Poor Penny's little pony
had to be put down.
400
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,120
What's all this?
401
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:16,240
- Grandma?!
- Who's Ginger Spice?
402
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,440
- Oh!
- And where the hell's my son?
403
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,360
Still no signal?
404
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,440
How many times? I said I'm sorry.
405
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:40,280
You can't tell the difference
between a berry and a rabbit dropping!
406
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,600
You're the one who ate it.
407
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,000
You're the one who let the map blow away.
408
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,440
I didn't ask you to follow me.
409
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,520
Not that you could read it anyway.
410
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,640
What was I thinking,
putting my trust in an imbecile like you?
411
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,440
Hey, I'd be doing fine
if it wasn't for you
412
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,360
holding me back, what with your blisters
and your moaning.
413
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:57,960
"Ibiza this, Ibiza that."
414
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,840
Oh, whereas Keele services
is so much more interesting.
415
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,240
I can't wait to tell my friends
your gripping tale
416
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:08,000
about last year's refurbishment - how
self-service tills transformed your life.
417
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,840
They're not self-service.
418
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,880
They're semi-attended
customer-activated terminals.
419
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,400
They're never completely unmanned.
420
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,880
There's always somebody watching.
421
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,920
So if you're thinking of having it away
with a sly Maeve Binchy
422
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,080
or a Toblerone, think again.
423
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,760
I haven't got time for this.
424
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,120
Come on, Moses.
425
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,080
We've got to find the promised land.
426
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,160
But...
427
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,000
I promise you, this one's a berry.
428
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,520
Well...at least I think it is.
429
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,200
Sorry about that Ginger Spice crack.
430
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,280
(CHUCKLES)
431
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,440
Oh, no, not at all.
432
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,920
I was rather flattered, actually.
433
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,400
I thought they were actually
rather marvellous role models
434
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,400
for young women everywhere.
Although I don't think
435
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,640
I'd look quite as good
in that Union Jack dress!
436
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,920
(THEY CHUCKLE)
437
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,880
So, you haven't seen Neil at all?
438
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,280
No, I've been with Donald all day.
439
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,560
We took Fang out for a walk.
440
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,400
Where was it, duck?
441
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,440
Catbells.
442
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,880
Oh, Catbells!
Oh, that's a lovely leisurely walk.
443
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,760
Yes, I did mention that to Neil this
morning, but he was adamant that you...
444
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,120
Was he, now?
And what did you say about Helvellyn?
445
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,480
Well, I...
446
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,640
I-I did suggest that it might be rather...
(CLEARS HIS THROAT) ...challenging.
447
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,040
I'll kill him.
448
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,240
Now, there's a picture if ever I saw one.
449
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,440
Three generations breaking bread
in the heart of the English Lakes.
450
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,640
No, it, er...
451
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,520
It'll be four once these lovebirds
get started.
452
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,160
(CHUCKLES)
453
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,280
Mum and Dad, more in love than ever.
You can see it in their eyes.
454
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,280
- Well, actually, it, er...
- And, finally, the baby boomers.
455
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,600
There might be snow on the roof
but there's fire in the furnace.
456
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,080
- Am I wrong?
- We'll have to wait and see.
457
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,160
Oh!
458
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,560
(CLEARS HIS THROAT)
459
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,160
(PETRA AND MERCY CHUCKLE)
460
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,880
What shall we name our first one?
461
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,600
- First what?
- Child.
462
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,120
What about...Little Garth?
463
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,440
(CHUCKLES)
464
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,160
Your, er...
465
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,000
Your mother-in-law left in quite a hurry.
466
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,720
She seemed rather upset.
467
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:10,120
She had no business coming up here
out of the blue, and I told her so.
468
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,800
- Ah.
- She's always doing it.
469
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,920
We were on our honeymoon in Greece,
looking round the Acropolis,
470
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,840
and who should step
out from behind a pillar?
471
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,160
Oh!
472
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,160
Ha! Oh, I wondered why you didn't seem
surprised to see her.
473
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,200
Nothing that woman does could surprise me.
474
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,240
(CHUCKLES)
475
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,200
Oh.
476
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,000
Ah.
477
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,400
Well, I don't want to worry you,
but, er...
478
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,120
They're still on the mountain?!
479
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:37,600
Er...
480
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,760
Well, he has been up Snowdon 11 times.
481
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,280
On the little steam train!
482
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:43,960
Ah.
483
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,160
(BIRDS CAW)
484
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,440
It's like they're banging the dinner gong.
485
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,520
- Are there any more berries?
- No.
486
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:01,720
But we could make a start on the bracken.
487
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,400
We should push on.
488
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,960
Where? Up, down, left, right?
489
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,440
We've passed that same rock six times.
490
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:09,800
They were different rocks.
491
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:13,120
It's the same rock - it's the one
that looks like David Hasselhoff.
492
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,880
I'm going to die dressed like
the innkeeper from Little Neil's nativity.
493
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,400
I never thought it would end like this.
494
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,240
I always picture myself...
495
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,520
...on a four-poster bed,
496
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:33,760
surrounded by my grandchildren,
gentle piano music playing.
497
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,200
Or choking on my own vomit
in the ladies' toilet at Manumission.
498
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,880
I'm sorry I poured your water on my feet.
499
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,880
I'm sorry about that Jaffa Cake.
500
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,640
I knew what I was doing.
501
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,400
What would you have done differently?
502
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,720
Well, I'd have gone left instead of right.
503
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,600
No, I mean in general, in life.
504
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,200
Well, I do have one regret.
505
00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,360
I wish I'd seen more of the world.
506
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:04,640
When I used to work at East Midlands
Airport, I'd walk past the departure board
507
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,480
every night.
508
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,600
See all the exotic destinations.
509
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:10,680
Barbados...
510
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,160
Oh!
511
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,280
Milan...
512
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:14,400
Aberdeen.
513
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:21,040
Then I'd get on the A50 to Stoke,
drive past all the same old signs...
514
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,720
I've seen the world.
515
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,680
It wasn't much to write home about.
516
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:27,920
Oh!
517
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,120
All I ever needed was a poolside bar.
518
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,680
I've sold a million headlines.
519
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,640
Now I'm going to end up as one.
520
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,920
I should've been more like my mother.
521
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,440
Dedicated my life to
the Brocken Women's Institute,
522
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,880
volunteered for the bonfire committee.
523
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,840
All I got involved with
was the young farmers...
524
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,000
Charles, Toby...
525
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:54,480
Hugo.
526
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:55,760
Henry.
527
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,520
Charles - a different Charles.
528
00:23:58,560 --> 00:23:59,640
St John.
529
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:00,720
Shane.
530
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,840
Though he was more of a labourer.
531
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,360
I wish I'd said a proper goodbye
to the kids.
532
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,680
I wish I could tell my mother
that I love her.
533
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,520
I wish I'd danced at my own wedding.
534
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,160
What?
535
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:18,800
I told her I'd twisted my ankle.
536
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,400
I'm not a dancer.
537
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:23,640
Neither is Robert.
538
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,440
Should have danced that night, though.
539
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,160
What was the song?
540
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:30,200
Stand By Me.
541
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,560
When the night has come
542
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,320
And the land is dark
543
00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:47,320
And the moon is the only light we'll see
544
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:49,360
BOTH: No, I won't
545
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:51,800
Be afraid
546
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,640
No, I won't
547
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,680
Be afraid
548
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,320
Just as long
549
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:00,680
As you stand
550
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:02,760
Stand by me
551
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,840
And, darling, darling, stand
552
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,560
By me
553
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:13,400
Oh, stand by me...
554
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:14,440
(WHIRRING)
555
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,360
If the sky that we look upon...
556
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:18,800
Oh!
557
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,040
Oh, my God!
558
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,800
- Down, down!
- Hi!
559
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:26,960
(THEY YELL)
560
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,520
I've never been
so happy to see another human being!
561
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:30,680
Thank you!
562
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:31,960
Robert?
563
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:32,960
Oh!
564
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,400
- Ah!
- Is that Robert?
565
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,680
Robert!
566
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:38,760
Robert!
567
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,960
...Just as long as you stand...
568
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,120
Robert!
569
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,800
...Stand by me...
- Robert!
570
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,520
...And, darling, darling, stand
571
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:49,560
By me
572
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,000
Oh, stand
573
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,000
By me...
574
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:56,480
My mother?
575
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,240
It was the Acropolis all over again.
576
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,120
As if I haven't had enough to put up with.
577
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:01,640
Well, where's she now?
578
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,000
Mr Fieldhouse drove her to the station.
579
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,400
She's gone home?
580
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:05,800
We had a bit of a set-to.
581
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,760
She said I shouldn't have let you
wander off on your own.
582
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,480
She was right.
583
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,640
My wife and kids should have been
there by my...
584
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,840
- ...side.
- As you were dangling from a helicopter
585
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,200
like a starfish?
586
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,720
It was epic at the top, Dad.
587
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,720
Yeah, I know. I should have been
at the summit waiting for you, son.
588
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,600
I could have been Amundsen to his Scott.
589
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,400
Instead of being saddled to Captain Oates
and her blisters.
590
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:27,880
I took loads of pictures.
591
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,280
You've got to see this one.
592
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,160
We found a dead sheep in a stream.
593
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,880
What?
594
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,240
It was gross.
All its guts were hanging in the water.
595
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,160
Yeah. Yeah, cheers, mate.
596
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,480
You should look at those pictures.
597
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,200
Look at the knife-edge ridge
we had to cross.
598
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,360
We were practically tightrope walking.
599
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,880
Poor Garth -
he was scared out of his wits.
600
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:46,320
- No, I wasn't.
- He wet himself.
601
00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:47,360
No...
602
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,760
It was a Capri-Sun.
603
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,760
And you'd been warned - Hell-vellyn.
The clue is in the name.
604
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,480
Look, I'll make it up to you.
605
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:55,640
All of you.
606
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,320
I'll take you out for Sunday lunch.
607
00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:58,400
Spare no expense.
608
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,800
You can do what you like.
I'm going to bed.
609
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:04,280
So...
610
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,720
...were you really dancing
on that mountain?
611
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,080
We were just keeping warm.
612
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,240
PENNY: I don't feel embarrassed
in the slightest.
613
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:15,320
(CHUCKLES)
614
00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:17,920
After all the hours you've put in
with Mountain Rescue,
615
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,440
it was the least they could do for me.
616
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,880
Oh, they'd never seen anything
quite like it!
617
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,320
It was like the last dance
at a school disco.
618
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,800
I've told you - I was just keeping warm.
619
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:28,240
Yeah, keeping warm.
620
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,920
Of course you were, darling.
Good survival skills. Well done.
621
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,200
Mum, Granny's on the phone.
She wants to speak to you.
622
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:34,240
(GASPS)
623
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:35,280
No.
44650
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