Original subtitles

♪

Heather Lee?

Oh god, oh god, oh god!

Sarah Ann Leaming.

I'd forgotten how small this town is.

Oh my god. It's been forever!

Oh not since the final day of high school.

Gosh. The last bell rang and you just disappeared.

We looked everywhere for you.

You didn't even make it to prom.

We danced on the football field until the sun came up.

It was the best night of my life!

So, uh, how have things been since prom?

Oh. Fine.

Except...

I'm getting married!

Isn't it gorgeous?

The wedding's in nine days.

Can you come?

No. I'll-I'll be long gone before then.

I heard you're living in the city?

Uh yeah, yeah.

Toronto but yeah.

I'm, uh, into documentary filmmaking,

kind of like Wiseman meets Beryl Fox.

I knew you'd leave the rest of us behind.

You were always reading books.

I've looked for you on Facebook.

I'm not a Facebook person.

Sometimes my mom brings him a home cooked meal.

Is he sick?

The doctor called and said that he needed to see me in person,

that it was urgent but...

Urgent?

Oh believe me.

It'll be nothing.

Are you here for uh...?

Sarah Ann: Just routine.

Oh my god.

You have to say hi to Mom and Dad.

Oh! Stay for dinner!

Oh that sounds so fun but you know what?

I'm actually hoping to get the bus back to Toronto so...

Oh please, please, please, please, please?

As Brian Dunner said

right before you punched him in the crotch,

I won't take no for an answer.

[Knocking]

Hi. Uh my father is not in his room.

Uh Walt Lee.

Maggie: Oh let me just check.

Maybe they moved him.

L-e...

E. L-e-e.

E-e? -L-e-e.

L-e-e?

Look, I'm kind of in a hurry to get out of here so...

Your father has been deleted.

Okay. I was told that he was in room 101.

Well maybe his change in status hasn't gone through yet.

They don't get deleted right away.

There's paperwork.

Unbelievable.

I-I knew this would happen.

I-I knew I shouldn't have come.

Maggie: Actually if they've been discharged

their names stay in our computer for 48 hours.

Okay. I-I don't understand.

So his name being deleted means...?

Oh.

Maggie: I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

[Raspy Coughing]

Heather: Bastard.

Walt: What the fuck are you doing here?

Maggie: Wait!

Your father is alive!

It's not like a miracle?

I was just looking at the wrong screen so...

What is that idiot doing?

You could have blown up in a giant ball of fire.

What a lovely way to go.

The whole hospital could have burnt down.

Take the bastards with me.

Nurse: Here.

Your lunch is getting cold.

I have something to tell you.

Can I get you anything before I leave?

A chocolate bar?

A magazine?

I'm dying.

Ooh. Blueberry pie.

Dr. Mickelson: Mrs. Billings, look at you.

You look beautiful today.

Beautiful. [Laughs]

Is this-is this Heather?

You made it. Thank god.

I am Dr. Mickelson.

Look, why don't we, uh,

grab a word while Walt enjoys that yummy lunch?

Don't worry, Walt. I'll get your little girl back to you

ASAP.

Courage.

my dad is a hypochondriac, okay?

Ever since I was little and my mom died he's been all,

"What do you mean this is a cold?

I've got lung cancer." It's...

Heather, Heather, Heather, Heather, Heather.

Sorry. Do you have a first name too?

It's Tom.

Um, I have this thing about class structure,

power relationships, sexism.

I'm not a big fan of authority in general.

Hey, I ...

Walt, he's my favourite patient.

We're not supposed to have favourites but we do.

Walt had a heart attack.

Are you sure?

Six months ago.

Six months ago?

He said you hadn't called in a while?

people survive wonky hearts.

Great.

not with his hypertension and his chronic bronchitis.

Yeah but those are both treatable, right?

Yes. Walt said you were a bright girl.

Thinks she knows everything.

Okay. So you treat those and he'll be okay.

Only if he exercises, stops smoking,

and most importantly, takes his pills on schedule

but for some reason he just stopped taking them.

If I hadn't gone by the house after he missed his appointment

I can't even imagine what would have happened.

Heather: So he just needs the pharmacy to put his pills

in one of those little containers, right?

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday...

What he needs is a reason to live.

Well I mean that's true of all of us, doc,

but we pretend, okay?

Or you know what? He can get a puppy.

What he needs is for his little girl

to show him that somebody cares whether he lives or dies.

Puppies care.

I mean they lick your face.

I'm not nearly as warm and fuzzy as a puppy.

Dr. Mickelson: Walt said you're not married and you don't have a career.

He said you're probably not even dating anybody

so to move back home...

Move back home?

Surely there are other options.

Look, I know they exist so don't tell me they don't.

Nothing beats family love.

A puppy beats family love, okay?

There have been studies.

He looked after you when you were little.

Dr. Mickelson: Now it's your turn to look after him.

It's the circle of life.

Sounds more like a noose.

♪

[Screams]

[Knocking]

Ugh!

Heather?

Mrs. Leaming?

Let yourself in, why don't you?

Well, this is quite a surprise.

and she told me that you bring my dad home cooked meals.

Well someone has to keep the poor fool

from starving to death.

they never seem to understand that beer

is not a balanced meal.

Well you may recollect I'm very active in the church.

Mmm. I remember.

Still an atheist?

Well seeing your unexpected presence, I do have to ask...

He stopped taking his heart medications.

Well why on earth would he do that?

He was probably drunk.

Lonely men look for comfort, Heather.

You ran into Sarah Ann at the hospital?

Heather: Mm hmm. This town is so small.

Some of us like small towns, Heather.

You know, family, friends.

Nobody ever died from self-sacrifice.

Ria Leaming: Why don't you put this in the freezer

for when he comes back home?

Oh no, really.

Oh don't pretend you can cook.

And I better go to the next name on my list.

I don't know if you remember Helen Metcalfe.

Poor thing broke her hip.

I assume Sarah Ann invited you for dinner?

Tonight.

How nice.

Well maybe we can take a trip to the mall,

help you make the most out of what you have.

Ta-ta.

♪

I didn't miss the bus to Toronto, did I?

It's late as usual.

[Counting Money Out]

Colin: ... papers ready for you by Friday I think.

It's taking me a little while 'cause, uh,

you know, I've had a killer week...

Yeah.

All right. Yeah.

Okay, yeah. Can you hear me?

Yeah. All right.

Okay. I'll...yeah.

Okay man. Catch you later.

All right. All right buddy. Bu-bye. Bye.

Sarah Ann: My mom's meatloaf with brown sugar sauce,

and cherry cheesecake.

I-I probably uh should have mentioned that I'm a vegan now.

A what?

I don't eat animal products.

Oh. Well why not?

They'd eat us if we let them get the upper hand.

I can pull a salad together, no problemo.

Thank you.

Though no wonder you're looking so pale.

I wanted everything to be just the way it used to be.

We never ate lettuce.

Oh. Did you ask the doctor about your dad?

Yeah. He, uh, actually thinks I should stay in Brimford.

Well if the poor man is sick, you can't just abandon him,

No. I mean, I-I wouldn't just abandon him.

I could come back like every other weekend

and I-I could call more often.

But I mean the doctor can't just expect me to move here.

'Cause even if I wanted to, uh, my work is in Toronto.

So you make real movies?

Like Steven Spielberg?

No. Uh no. I make documentaries.

Um yeah I'm actually working on one about the Occupy movement.

I've got these amazing interviews

with innocent bystanders

who've been brutally beaten by the poli...

That sounds so glamorous.

Doesn't sound like the kind of job that pays the rent though.

Well I do odds and ends as well,

like contract work, video editing.

I actually filmed this, uh, political meeting

for this anarchist association.

Oh my god.

Yeah, no, it got a little chaotic though.

Anarchists.

No, no, no!

Oh Sarah Ann, you are a genius!

Heather, you can be my wedding videographer.

Oh no. Um no I-I don't do weddings.

Yes, Sarah Ann.

Uh this is one of those many things that Heather doesn't do

for other people.

Sarah Ann: No, no, no!

You can afford to stay in town with your dad and my coolest,

bestest friend ever will give me a wedding video

that I will watch every single day for the rest of my life.

So, uh, what are you doing uh these days?

Arranging my wedding. Duh.

Right. So you don't have a job.

Well I was working part-time at the bank

but I mean with-with the wedding I just...

you only get married once, fingers crossed,

and I want it to be really special.

[Door Opens & Closes]

Am I right or am I wrong?

I am right.

Heather Lee.

It's good to see you.

Daddy! Daddy! - Yes? Yes?

Heather's gonna be my wedding videographer.

Oh.

Hello handsome. -Hello sweetie.

It's so good to have you home.

Now you have to pay her twice as much

what you were going to pay the other videographer.

We got the whole gang back. You know what?

Why don't we pull off one more heist?

Oh wait, we can't.

I'm the Police Chief.

Knockety-knock-knock.

Do I smell meatloaf with brown sugar sauce?

This dinner's under arrest.

Keith, this is my bestest friend ever, Heather.

This is my fiancé.

I've heard so many stories about you.

We'll just finish this and then we'll go.

What a pleasure.

Sarah Ann: Isn't he gorgeous? I'm so lucky.

I'm the lucky one. Mwah.

Doug Leaming: So you catch a husband yet?

Most of the good ones might be gone by now.

Maybe he can fix you up with one of his pals.

Weddings, best place to find your real true love.

Heather: Oh no. I'm gonna,

I'm gonna actually be back in the city then

so I won't be at the wedding.

Apparently her dad is seriously ill

but Heather has stuff to do so...

No. My mind is made up.

Heather will be our videographer.

She's a real filmmaker, like Steven Spielberg.

No. I hate Hollywood films.

Whatever my little girl wants my girl gets, right Cookie?

[Crowd Chanting]

It's-it's my phone. Um I left it in the other room.

Your phone.

Heather: Yes?

Okay. Um I'm on my way.

What is it?

Something's happened.

Um he's unconscious.

I'll drive you.

No, no. Let me. Come on.

Oh I hope he's okay.

I'm fine on my own.

No. I want to help.

No help necessary.

It's no problemo.

Don't help!

Just I'm an adult now.

I just want to do this alone, okay?

Okay.

I'll wait right here.

Don't wait!

Ah. There you are.

Courage.

Heather: Is he in a coma?

Oh no. Just drunk.

The nurses found a couple bottles of champagne on ice.

They were throwing a birthday party for Carrie in pediatric.

Somehow Walt found them.

You know, my grandma used to read the Reader's Digest.

There were these stories about my most unforgettable character.

I think Walt is my most unforgettable character.

So you called me here 'cause he was drunk

and-and you expect me to stay in this god-awful town.

Good night, doctor.

He got drunk for the same reason he stopped taking those pills.

The poor man, he needs our help.

And-and how do you explain all the other times, Dr. Mickelson?

All the nights that he would pass out on the lawn

and I had to drag his ass in, clean him up and put him to bed.

Yeah. He is unforgettable all right.

I couldn't just leave you way out here

and you must be starving.

We haven't had dinner yet.

This place is owned by people from Pakistan now.

They tried to sell stuff that we couldn't pronounce

but they were losing customers

so they went back to regular food.

Remember we were gonna go around the world?

We had our packing list.

Two sweaters and extra pens for our diaries?

I never made it to Europe.

Uh well not yet.

Um where are you going for your honeymoon?

Oh just Niagara Falls.

Keith's a stay at home kind of guy and we're buying a house.

It's just semi-detached but it's better than a townhouse, right?

Yeah, yeah. I guess.

It's like my mom always says,

glass half empty is better than spit.

So...

you remember Julia?

She just had her fourth kid a couple of days ago.

I mean two were twins but still.

Three different dads.

Yeah well I guess we should have seen that coming

the year she gave up her virginity for Lent.

I totally forgot about that.

And-and Candy Jansen,

she went kind of nuts and then she moved to Hawaii.

Who else do I see from the old days?

Oh. You remember that teacher you had a crush on?

Remember you used to make us walk past his house every night?

Uh no. I-I don't remember.

Sarah Ann: Oh come on.

Bullshit alert.

You remember Mr. Bowman.

And he lived on a dead-end street?

And you insisted that nobody thought we looked strange

walking up and down it in the dead of winter.

I think he still lives there.

I see him sometimes at the grocery store and I think

I know the front of your house so well.

He's still married to that bitch that wears pink all the time.

I mean I love pink but you gotta put a limit on that.

Oh you hated her.

Yeah, yeah. I hated her.

You really thought that our super hot teacher

with the babe wife was just gonna throw it all away

and run off with you.

Yeah. The delusions of a teenage girl.

Sarah Ann: And he had that leather jacket.

I mean teachers didn't wear leather jackets.

I loved that jacket.

I was walking behind him in the hallway

and I just I reached out and I lightly touched it

and he turned around and I thought I was going to faint.

God. I-I haven't thought about any of this in so long.

I'm sorry.

For whatever I did that made you leave like that

without even sending an email.

It had nothing to do with you.

That's not true.

You know, we all change and

the people that change the most they move away.

I'm kind of tired so...long bus journey so...

Sarah Ann: Yeah, sure.

I'll give you a ride.

Uh no, it's not far. I-I'll walk.

Hey. Um, let me know about that video thing.

It would be really great.

You know, uh, actually my dad,

I don't really think there's much I can do for him so

Good luck with the wedding and the townhouse.

The bride should be at home getting her beauty sleep.

How are things going, Cookie?

Kind of a good day, bad day.

Aren't they all?

Do you like me?

Of course I like you.

Well who wouldn't like you?

God and Heather Lee.

Oh god. Grow up.

Shit.

[Door Opens]

I'm-I'm lost.

Uh I think I'm supposed to be going that way.

Uh thank you.

Good night. Nice tree.

Good night.

Shit!

Heather: Yeah I'm getting the bus.

Okay. Yeah I'll call you later.

Don't you people ever know how to fucking knock?

Hey Walt!

Come on out of the car.

I brought your dad home to stay with you.

I couldn't leave him here alone.

That wouldn't be safe.

No I was actually just about to...

Ria Leaming stopped by my office.

She said financial issues had necessitated

your return to the city, which look,

You don't want to know what my student loans are.

But now that the Chief has hired you

to do Sarah Ann's wedding video

you can stick around for a while,

give Walt that reason to live.

Oh hey, here he is. Ta-da!

I think he'd be better off with [whispering] professionals.

This is why people have children.

In my case, I'd lay my money on a faulty condom.

Dr. Mickelson: Um yeah. Huh.

So his diet,

his diet should be low sodium.

This is his medication.

FYI, I threw in an antidepressant.

I've also tossed in some nicotine gum.

The important thing is to get those pills into him

The rest of the time you can do your videographing.

Hey Walt.

Your baby girl's a videographer.

You must be so proud.

What is that?

A new word for loser?

Well we all start out as losers, don't we?

It's where we end up that counts.

Dead. - Dead.

You two. Peas in a pod. [Laughs]

Oh fuck. -Fuck.

[Microwave Beeping]

A generous gift from the Mother Theresa of Brimford,

Ria Leaming.

Got a fork?

if you don't get your crappy tuna casserole.

God. I mean why don't you just tell her

that you can feed yourself?

Walt: There's not much more in life I enjoy more

than Ria Leaming's casseroles.

It's not like my daughter's here to make me home cooked meals.

The doctor's gone so you can cut the crap now.

You don't want me here any more than I want to be here.

So I will stay until this stupid wedding is over

and make sure you swallow your pills

so you can get out of whatever funk you're in

and if that isn't long enough

then you're just gonna have to hire someone to babysit you.

Got the salt?

I will work two jobs to contribute to the cost

'cause hey, I'm a nice person

but I won't sacrifice my happiness

for a father who sacrificed nothing for mine.

You don't want some of this?

I'm a fucking vegan.

Why am I marrying Sarah Ann?

Um, do you mean why am I marrying

or why did I pick Sarah Ann?

Keith: Well. Uh, I am getting married

because I enforce laws for a living

so I should probably follow the law myself and, uh,

I am marrying Sarah Ann specifically

because she makes me the world's greatest

peanut butter cookies.

And, uh, she is pretty.

Do you need more?

Heather: You know,

I think more is expected.

Let me think.

Uh I...hmm.

I'm marrying Sarah Ann because she is like my car.

I have a Dodge Charger.

It's red.

Keith: I won't say that she gives me a good ride.

Don't film that, uh, but I will say that she's got great lines,

I uh look good going around with her

and she's just a little bit out of my price range.

How's that?

It was memorable.

That's good, isn't it?

Memorable.

Okay. Amanda's next.

Sarah Ann: All right. I'll see you out.

Okay so, um, I'm Amanda and Sarah Ann chose me

to be her maid of honour because we're best friends.

Oh right.

So how long have you two known each other?

We met two years ago at the bank

but I don't actually think the length of time is what matters

What matters is whether or not one friend

has hurt the other friend's feelings or not.

Amanda: I think he loves her as much as I do.

Oh. Does that sound lesbian?

I don't want-I don't want this to sound lesbian.

I...I think the outfit will take care of that.

Okay. Good.

Do you think Sarah Ann and Keith will have a long marriage?

You know, weddings are kind of forever things but,

well, statistically speaking...

So maybe a few comments on dreams versus reality?

It might provide an ironic contrast.

Ria Leaming: Heather, dear,

when we spoke with the wedding planner about a video,

they mentioned the ceremony, the speeches, the dancing.

Nobody said anything about irony.

Mm hmm.

if I'm gonna be trapped in Brimford doing this video

then I want to do it in a way

that I'm not excessively ashamed of.

Okay?

Right. Whatever makes you happy.

That's what matters most on my daughter's wedding video.

Can you please stop pointing that thing at me?

I do not want to be preserved for all eternity

You haven't seen my wedding dress yet.

I can't wait.

Sarah Ann: Let's go.

Amanda: Yeah. Yeah.

Sarah Ann: I'm almost ready.

So, uh, still working at the bank?

I'm Head Cashier, okay?

Good.

Yeah.

Sarah Ann: Okay. Here I come.

Oh.

I told my dad it was too expensive.

I mean it's just a small wedding and

I don't even know that many people.

He's too good to me.

My dress is, uh, lavender purple.

It's gorgeous.

Sarah Ann: So do you really like it?

Or do I look ridiculous?

It's perfect.

Even better than sexy you-know-who's wife in pink?

Who-who are we talking about?

Oh just history.

Sarah Ann: I know you hated those prom dresses my mom bought for us.

I always thought that's why you left town

because you didn't want to wear yours.

Oh. Remember I took those singing lessons?

Sarah Ann: Well I was thinking when I'm at the altar

after the vows what if...

[Clears Throat]

It's just a work in progress so...

Dear Keith.

This is for you.

♪ I love you and I always will. ♪

♪ I love you till time stands still. ♪

♪ I love you.

♪ You give me thrills.

♪ I love you.

♪ My heart you fill.

♪ I love you.

♪ We will be true.

♪ I love you.

♪ Let's say I do.

That's amazing.

I fooled you.

You think I am so stupid.

Good one.

Yeah.

[Laughs]

Oh. I got you.

Was a good one. -Yep.

Good night.

Uh I'll get your pills.

I, uh, took them while you were out.

Okay.

Don't lie to me.

You don't have to stand there and watch me.

Well apparently I do.

Hey, I'm-I'm not enjoying this any more than you are.

[Wheezing and Coughing]

I'll get you a pitcher of water to have beside the bed.

Yeah. I left my cigarettes in the kitchen.

Thanks for trying, Dad.

You really are a great role model.

Christ.

♪

[Door Opens]

Ria Leaming: Good morning.

Rise and shine.

My mom brought her famous pumpkin muffins.

Oh we know that would have been burnt toast and tap water.

she had something she wanted to talk to you about

so I thought you two could head off

while I make sure our patient starts the day

with something nutritious.

Is he up?

I doubt it.

Oh well nothing perks a man up

like the smell of fresh basked muffins.

And there he is.

I thought I heard the voice of a do-gooder.

Ria Leaming: Well don't you look like death warmed over.

Yeah. I need to give him his pills.

Ria Leaming: Oh I'm sure I can handle that.

That's what people do in small towns, Heather.

Everyone helps their neighbours.

Now I borrowed a book to read

so you girls don't need to hurry back.

Thanks Mom.

Oh go on. Have a good long chat.

Asshole.

Sarah Ann: And you were sitting on the swing

and you said I'll just finish this

and then we'll go with the police racing towards us and,

and you just finished the red wine like we have all the time

in the world and I'm just thinking oh my god, oh my god.

My Dad's gonna know that I've been drinking

and I'm only 12 and we got away though.

So well what did you want to talk to me about?

I'll get to it.

It's big.

You're pregnant?

Oh I wish. No.

Wait. You said we were going to a coffee shop. Where...?

Jesus Christ. Heather.

Don't pretend like you don't know that this is his street.

Oh yes. It is, isn't it?

Sarah Ann: Yes.

This is your past, Heather Lee.

Come on.

Heather: No. Don't make me walk past his house.

I-I would never do anything like that now.

It'll be fun.

Fine. Fuck it.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

Well what if he sees us?

Oh I doubt he'd even remember us.

Nothing to make you or me stand out, right?

Yeah. Yeah, right.

I mean we weren't even the only ones who were walking

back and forth in front of his house so...

We were the only ones doing that.

I just mean that every girl in school

had a crush on him, right?

Yeah.

But you were the only one that slept with him.

What? I...I...

Yes, you did.

You could have told me.

I never kept any secrets from you back then.

It was a big secret, okay?

You've never had a secret that big.

How did you figure it out?

Uh he stopped me once and asked me about you.

I got it out of him.

Lisa: I'm so tired of this shit!

Colin: You're fucking tired.

Lisa: You're tired of this?

Colin: I'm tired. Look, it's eight in the morning.

Lisa: I know but we have to settle this before I go to work

'cause you never call me at work.

Colin: Why? I'll call...

Why are we hiding?

I don't know.

Lisa: We need to settle this

because I want to go out.

Colin: Oh stamp your foot.

That's great.

Oh my god. She's wearing pink.

I told you.

Okay. So am I.

Lisa: Can you weed the stupid plants for once?

[Door Slam]

God, if we'd seen this when we were teenagers.

You'd have thought that he'd divorce her

and come running to you saying it was true love.

Yeah.

Colin: Ah.

Heather: This is fun.

Wait, wait.

I wonder who he's calling.

[Phone Ringing]

Sarah Ann: Shit. Shit.

Sarah Ann?

Are you there?

Sarah?

Lisa: Honey.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Let's go back inside eh? Come on.

Lisa: I made you coffee.

I mean not just now, earlier.

I made you coffee.

I'll water the plants.

That is all you're gonna get.

The last thing I need is to be found in bed with a man

having a heart attack.

Come here.

I missed you.

I missed you too, bastard.

[Sighs]

I hear you've lost the will to live.

That's not very flattering for the woman sleeping with you.

Heather told you that?

Dr. Mickelson.

That young punk.

The young punks inherit the earth time and time again.

Oh to be young again and start over.

What's your biggest regret?

I think it's dangerous for a dying man to have regrets.

You don't get to use that excuse

when you're dying of your own free will.

No wonder I've got a bad heart

falling for a woman like you.

I love you.

I don't want you to die.

Why do you think I finagled your daughter into hanging around

so that she can give you your pills

and dial 9-1-1 if you keel over?

So you're the one to blame?

And she thinks it's that stupid wedding video.

Truth is, even my husband might get suspicious if I came here

twice a day and I'd be lost without you.

Don't you underestimate the power fucked up men have

over horny women.

Take your pills, Walt.

Stop smoking and,

and patch things up with Heather while she's still here.

She's prickly but we know where she got that from.

You were an awful father.

Oh why do men always use that excuse?

Women never get away with that one.

Seriously.

You don't want to lose your little girl forever.

Give me another kiss.

Now eat some of those goddamn muffins and take your pills.

Otherwise, the girls will get suspicious.

Lord. I love a small town

but they're a bitch for fucking around.

Heather: Wow.

I would not have guessed that secret in a million years.

How long have you two been...?

About a year.

The man slept with his student.

You were 17 and he was younger than we are now.

I mean if we're still young and stupid, surely...

Okay. Uh so would you sleep with, uh,

a 17-year-old high school student?

That sexy kid that bags groceries at the Valu-Mart?

I'd have him in the parking lot if I could.

That doesn't make it right.

Sarah Ann: Right. Wrong.

Does it really matter?

Maybe sometimes it's more important to just feel alive,

even if that means drinking wine when you're 12

and dancing till dawn in your prom dresses

and at least you have memories.

You don't think that way.

Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do.

Okay well if you're sleeping with him

then you're in love with him.

Of course I'm in love with him.

I don't find it hard to love someone.

I'm not like you.

Why him?

Why him?

He-he's smart.

I mean, why did you sleep with him in high school?

You have to call off your wedding.

Why?

You're in love with another man.

You think I'm gonna tell my Mom and Dad?

I, uh, I'm dumping that nice guy you work with

because I'm screwing a married man.

Yeah. I can see that happening.

Okay. So even if Colin won't leave his wife and you really...

Don't tell me what to do.

Heather: I'm just saying take some time for yourself,

Sarah Ann: I know who I am and what I want.

and the rest of my life is going to be exactly

what I think it's going to be.

I thought that you would understand me.

I thought that you would be someone

that I could really talk to.

I was so happy to see you

and now I wish you never came back home.

Just go back to the city and forget about me again.

I didn't forget about you.

Yes, you did.

Heather: So, uh, yeah.

Uh turns out that Sarah Ann

doesn't need me to shoot her wedding video so, uh,

I'm gonna be taking off earlier than I said,

like today.

Um I, uh, have some room on my credit card.

I'll hire someone to come in and help you with your pills and,

uh, you know, I was thinking uh maybe you should get a puppy.

Ria Leaming thinks you and I should talk.

Jesus Christ.

People wonder why I left this place.

[Knocking]

It's open.

Please don't be a Leaming

ordering me to do that stupid wedding video.

[Bang]

Heather.

Walt Lee.

How are you doing?

Sometimes I almost forget you're a police officer.

The Chief.

Chief.

Doug Leaming: Yeah.

God. It's-it's been forever.

When the girls were inseparable we used to run into each other

but now um they're all grown up.

So my wife tells me you were under the weather

but you're looking-you're looking really good.

So you on sick leave from the newspaper?

Well I hope you get back to work soon.

I'm taking a wait and see approach.

Doug Leaming: Sounds smart.

Heather, you free to grab a coffee?

Uh sure.

Walt, I won't keep her long.

It's nice to see you again, huh?

You'll be back to your old hijinx soon.

Bye Walt.

♪

Thank you.

Thank you.

I've always liked you, Heather.

Thank you.

I can't say the same for my wife

but I always thought you were a good kid at heart.

So let me get to the point, okay?

I just went home and I saw my little girl crying her eyes out

that you weren't going to be her videographer anymore.

Look. I'm sorry. I just...

I-I-I don't want to hear your I'm sorry.

I want to hear you're gonna fix this because

my little girl's gonna have the best wedding

and she's gonna have this video thing to look at every day

for the rest of her life if that's what she wants

so here's some more money.

You tell me what you need.

No. I-I just think I should go back to the city.

Doug Leaming: No, Heather.

when you left here without saying goodbye.

You know how many times she said to us

why did Heather hate me so much?

Why didn't Heather want to be my friend anymore?

I mean I...look, I know why you did it.

You got tired of my wife trying to turn you into something

You wanted to stop looking at your father's face.

I get it but I don't care about any of that.

I only care about Sarah Ann's happiness.

Okay? You hear me?

Doug Leaming: Oh of course she wants you to stay, Heather.

And more importantly, she wants you to want to stay.

God. It's just a wedding.

I mean, what's the big deal?

People get married all the time.

It's Sarah Ann's wedding.

It's the only one she'll ever have and it is a big deal.

So please just do what I'm asking you to do.

Grown men don't like to beg.

Vendana: Four dollars for the two coffees, please.

Doug: Here.

Vendana: Thanks. I'll get you some change.

Mr. Leaming.

This...

this is, uh, this-this is too much.

Um I have my-my camera

so I'll just need to find a tripod and

laptop and...here.

Thank you, Heather.

I knew you were a good kid.

Um maybe you could film her tonight at choir practice.

It would be really nice for us to have that.

Can your dad stay home alone that long?

I mean I can go look after him.

I'm supposed to be on duty but what the hell?

Nothing ever happens in Brimford anyway.

Or I could send Ria over.

Heather: No, no. He'll be fine alone.

All right. Well the church is still where it used to be.

♪ Amazing Grace,

♪ how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. ♪

♪ I once was lost...

♪ but now I'm found.

♪ Was blind but now I see.

♪ When we've been there

♪ ten thousand years

♪ bright shining as the sun,

♪ we've no less days to sing God's praise ♪

♪ than when we first begun.

And there you go.

[Murmured Conversation]

Dr. Mickelson: See you later, Barbara. Nice to see you.

Safe drive.

See you next week.

It's good to see you here.

Wise, wise move.

Hey. Why don't we sing a little hymn for Walt?

Ask the good lord to restore his love of life.

♪ Abide with me.

♪ Fast falls the eventide.

♪ The darkness deepens.

♪ Lord with me abide.

Good.

Hey. Uh Sarah Ann, can I...?

Sarah's actually kind of busy right now.

She's getting married in a couple of days.

It's okay, Amanda.

So you're staying?

Yeah. I'm staying

and I am gonna give you one hell of a wedding video.

♪

[Doorbell]

Lisa: Who is it, honey?

Uh I don't know if you remember me, Mr. Bowman,

but I was one of your students the first year you taught.

Yeah. Of course I remember you.

Sarah Ann Leaming?

She was in the same class.

She's getting married.

Uh I'm her videographer.

Videographer?

I'm interviewing significant people from her life

and well I'd love to include her favourite teacher.

You must be so proud, honey.

Come on in. I'm Lisa.

Heather: Oh it's a lovely home.

Lisa: Wow. Film school.

I work for an insurance agency.

Putting that English Lit degree to work, right?

Not really.

God. This is so exciting, isn't it honey?

Could you just move your chin to the left?

I wouldn't want this to be unflattering.

Okay. So, uh, how would you say that you know...

I'm sorry uh wrong tense.

Knew Sarah Ann?

Um [clears throat].

Sor...I'm sorry.

Honey, my mouth is a little dry.

Is there any chance you can you get me a coffee.

Is there? -Sure honey.

Would that be okay?

Want something?

Heather: Oh I'm fine.

Colin: Thank you.

This is my home.

I know. We had sex on that couch.

Actually it's a different couch.

It's not the point.

So you and Sarah Ann.

What did she tell you?

What's there to tell?

I mean I already know how you operate.

Why don't you come over to my house while my wife's at work

so I can show you some computer simulations

of gravitational pull.

Look. You were the only student that I ever...

Lisa: Anybody want nachos?

Colin: Um no. No thanks, honey.

I'm good, thanks.

Lisa: Well I'm having some.

There go those hips. [Laughs]

I was crazy about you.

No. You were not crazy...

Colin: You were so clever

You hated this town as much as I did.

So you seduced me.

You kissed me first.

Lisa: Coffee. Is it okay if I sit?

Maybe, uh, maybe I will have a coffee.

Oh it's just microwave.

Oh that's fine.

Okay.

I've been meaning to get an espresso machine.

but I thought that once you graduated we'd

wait a couple of months so the school wouldn't get suspicious

and you know, I'd separate from Lisa

and we could start to date openly.

Really?

I didn't know if it was gonna work in the long run.

I wasn't gonna rush into a second stupid marriage

or something but I wanted to give it a go.

I mean we weren't that far apart in age.

Well I had no idea.

I told you that I was crazy about you.

Yeah, but well I just thought that was fuck me talk.

Oh.

And then you disappeared and what am I gonna do?

I'm gonna go ask your drunken dad where you are?

and I should have just left you alone but you broke my heart.

But Colin, I...

Lisa: There you go.

Uh-uh do you have any sugar? Please.

Should have thought of that. Okay.

But I do think that you're remembering it in a way

that makes you seem like more of a good guy than you really were.

I mean you're still with Lisa.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm still with Lisa.

Uh huh and you're sleeping with Sarah Ann.

Well, theoretically we hardly get a chance.

Small towns are hard places to have an affair.

Lisa: This sugar bowl's dorky.

It was a gift from my sister.

Do you have uh a brown sugar?

I'm sorry. -I think so.

Okay.

You know she's getting married in four days.

Yes, I do.

So do you love her?

Lisa: It's kind of hard. Woo.

Uh anyway.

that project on gravity is why I gave Sarah Ann an A-an A.

Heather: Great. Uh yeah.

I think that's all we need.

Actually wait. Can I say one more thing?

Please. I don't want to have missed the whole thing.

Sure.

Okay. Go.

Well that was my first year of teaching and I was,

you know, I was fresh out of university.

Well I thought I was still one of the kids but I wasn't.

If I was grading my performance I-I would have failed me.

You, you-you all deserved a lot better than me.

Oh. Honey.

You're so hard on yourself.

No, I'm not.

Okay. Uh I should, um, I should probably get going.

But you didn't drink your coffee.

Heather: Oh. Um yeah I-I should get home.

My Dad is sick so...

Where's your car?

Uh I walked.

You walked?

Colin, drive her home.

Yeah. Sure.

I...

Lisa: No. Wait.

I'll do it. You have those papers to mark.

I'll just get the keys.

Listen. You really mattered to me

but this past year with Sarah Ann I-I...

I love her.

Really.

and she says that her parents would be destroyed if...

you know, so look, what can I do?

Lisa: Got it.

Let's go. Girl time!

Um I hope your dad feels better soon.

And do you think I can see the video when it's done?

Uh that'll be up to Sarah Ann so.

Oh. Of course.

But if I...but if I can?

Thanks again for the ride.

Oh no problem. It was exciting.

I really envy you.

You envy me?

Yeah. You got away so don't get stuck again.

Bye.

[Car Starting]

♪

Sarah Ann: And this is the living room.

Amanda: Your bedroom is huge!

Sarah Ann: I'm thinking about putting a couch right here.

What do you think?

Amanda: Your bathroom has two sinks,

one for you, one for Keith.

It's perfect.

Oh my god. Is that a bidet?

I think that you don't marry one man

when you're in love with another

Amanda, what do you think about putting a couch right here?

I love your bathtub.

Okay. Where?

Just right here.

Yeah. Yes. It's perfect.

Oh I love this house.

Ah and the beautiful princess lived happily ever after

with her handsome prince.

Hey. Uh can we go somewhere and talk?

Oh no. Can't. It's four o'clock. I'm off.

Where are you going?

I've got people to see, places to go.

I'm a very busy bride. Ciao.

You would never have been my best friend.

Likewise.

Hey. How you doing today?

Hi. I'm fine, Maggie.

Thanks for asking.

♪

Doug Leaming: You know, you really should go home and get some sleep.

You don't have to take my shift tonight.

I do. The groom has to stay awake during the wedding.

No one will notice if I doze off. Now go head home.

I'm just gonna get another cup of coffee before I go out there.

See you tomorrow. - Bye.

Dad.

Dad?

I'm going to like hearing that.

Take it easy.

Vendana: Night hon.

Vendana: Sure. There's a box in the back.

Delivery guy put it in the wrong place.

Do you think you could help me move it?

Doug Leaming: No problemo.

[Humming]

Oh geez.

Put it down, kid.

You're officially nabbed.

[Click]

Shit.

[Coughing]

Walt: Oh Christ.

Hand me my cigarettes, will ya?

You know, you really want to die, don't you?

You know, ever since Mom died

you've been hoping that you'll die too.

Don't think you've got me figured out.

I am sorry that Mom got cancer

and that she left you with me to raise, okay?

You don't have to apologize for that.

Heather: Oh I don't? Really?

I'm so fucking sick of this shit!

I can't save you!

I-I can't save anyone.

Then don't!

No one needs you to save them.

Good!

[Door Slams]

Hey. Uh sorry for waking you.

Um do you want to hang out?

Sarah Ann: So do you have a new best bud in the city?

A couple of my versions of Amanda.

We sit around and we talk about Tarkovsky.

I'm not even gonna ask who that is.

I spoke to him.

He says he loves you.

Tarkovsky is in love with me? Wow.

Sarah Ann: You seem to forget that I'm getting married

in three days.

Two days. It's after midnight.

You don't have to do what your parents want.

It's your life.

It's my life.

And that's the best thing that I can do with it?

Wait for Colin to leave his wife?

Would you do that?

Maybe you would.

You know, if you want him, you can have him.

I'm not gonna stop you.

I'm otherwise engaged.

You don't have to wait for Colin

and you don't have to marry Keith.

I mean it's a big world.

You could...

you could get out of this town.

Yeah. Like you did?

Some of us don't want to miss the prom, Heather.

I was packing up my stuff for my new house

and guess what I found?

Our prom dresses.

I have an idea.

And then Cara threw up all over her dress

and we just left Emily in the bathroom sobbing

because Nathan went home with Jen

and then the rest of us came out here

and Derek played music from his car as loud as it would go

and we just danced.

It was heaven.

[Sighs]

Sarah Ann: I wish we had music.

I have music on my phone.

Probably nothing prom like.

♪ [Punk Rock Music]

♪ I swore, I swore that I'd never see ♪

♪ You stand, standing right in front of me ♪

♪ You're dark, handsome and initially dear to me ♪

♪ Three thousand words couldn't help me ♪

♪ I'm as dumb as every man wants me ♪

♪ You say that language is a barrier ♪

♪ Speak to me

[Laughing]

♪

Ria Leaming: What if I'd woken up

and found you gone?

I would have been worried sick!

And your Dad is out on Keith's shift

and are you sure you didn't catch a cold?

I'm okay, mom.

She's not a little kid, okay?

She's the same age as me and I've lived on my own for years.

And how well has that worked for you, Heather?

Oh Sarah Ann, when your Dad hears about this.

He should be home by now.

Orange juice, vitamin C.

God, I love those dresses.

Mm. I'm going to sleep now.

For hours and hours.

Hey. Are we gonna do your, uh, bridal interview this afternoon?

Oh no. I'll have bags under my eyes.

Uh let's do it tomorrow afternoon

before Amanda picks us up for karaoke.

Oh no, no.

Don't make me go to karaoke.

Sarah Ann: Yes, yes.

Karaoke must be videographed.

Hey. I didn't know you were coming over.

Keith: The Chief didn't check in at the end of his shift.

Charlie and Mark are out looking for him.

I can't...I can't take any more.

Jim: Good morning. How are you?

Good morning, Jim. -Hi Jim.

Neighbour: Good morning.

Jim: Morning.

♪

[Muffled Moans]

[Car Doors Slamming]

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god.

I should have pulled my gun.

What happened?

They were kids.

They're supposed to do what I say.

Apparently, uh, he found two kids robbing the drug store.

He told them to stop.

They pulled a gun and tied him up.

He, uh, he should have pulled his gun first.

It's-it's why we have guns.

Ria Leaming: I brought you some breakfast.

Well I'll, uh, I'll let you sleep.

Doug Leaming: Ria?

Yeah.

Everyone in town is gonna be laughing at me.

No they won't.

Yes, they will.

Well maybe but you'll survive it.

We have much bigger problems in life, honey.

They give you a uniform.

They give you a gun and you're the guy.

You know, you tell people to stop, they stop.

You tell people to go, they go.

So why is this happening?

How did everything get so messed up?

You'll feel so much better after you've had a rest.

You think Sarah Ann's ashamed of me?

No. Of course not.

I remember when she was a little girl

she used to say that her Daddy

was the most important person in the world

and he was the Police Chief and she was gonna marry

somebody just like him.

And be just like her Mom.

I remember.

So he just walked up to them and said stop and they had guns?

Heather: Yeah. Yeah he's kind of embarrassed.

I guess he would be.

I thought he was a smarter man.

Heather: Smart men don't want to carry guns, Dad.

keeps saying that Sarah Ann must stay married forever.

He's put on weight too.

I don't think so.

Heather: You know, Sarah Ann is going to marry a man

who wants to be exactly like her father.

Yet another mistake that I would never make.

But if Sarah Ann loves her fiancé,

love is what matters.

Love?

Watch this.

I'm marrying Sarah Ann because she is like my car.

I have a Dodge...

Well, that's not love.

Is Sarah Ann in love with him?

She's in love with someone else,

a man that actually loves her.

So what's the problem?

He's married.

That does make it tricky.

Heather: Yeah but it shouldn't make it impossible, should it?

When two people love each other?

I mean what's the point in a bad marriage?

It's-it's just like giving up on life.

Maybe they'd both find happiness if they split up.

Maybe they would.

It's a good point.

How do you pause this stupid thing?

Heather: I'll give you this much, Dad.

I know you really loved Mom and I know that losing her

was really tough for you.

So at least you taught me that love really matters,

which is something that Ria Leaming never taught Sarah Ann.

Maybe Ria Leaming doesn't know it yet.

Yeah well she better figure it out soon

or she's gonna destroy her daughter's life.

You forgot the green one.

What?

The green one.

Oh yeah. Sorry.

Sarah Ann. Are you all right?

Oh yeah.

I'm just getting in an extra session before my honeymoon.

This time tomorrow I'll be a married woman.

I'll finally get to lose my virginity.

Tell me, Dr. Mickelson,

is sex as good as they say it is?

Uh...uh...um...uh...well um...

That's a joke, Dr. Mickelson.

It was just a joke.

I'll see you at the wedding.

Uh... okay. Mmm.

Joke. [Clears Throat]

[Doorbell Rings]

Well I need the dry-cleaning today so get it here.

Sarah Ann's lying down.

She's too tired to do your little interview.

That's okay. I can wait till she's up.

No, no. I don't think that's a good idea.

Well I-I don't know when else we'll get the chance to do it.

Well you shouldn't have taken her out

Now can you make sure she doesn't stay too late at karaoke

and please don't let her drink too much.

You know, it's the last night before she marries Keith

and does what other people want her to do

I think that maybe she should have some fun.

I assume you'll be leaving town after the wedding.

Yes.

Good. Well, if you don't mind I'm kind of busy.

Heather: Ugh.

Oh but, um, I will be popping along later to see your Dad,

you know, make sure he takes his pills.

No, no.

You're busy.

I can come home early.

Oh no, no. I don't mind.

It'll give me some quiet time.

I could really use some quiet time.

Mrs. Leaming's coming over to give you your...

Oh my god Dad.

Dad, Dad, Dad.

What happened?

I feel a little flabby.

And four. Not bad.

Phew.

Uh I-I have to go.

This is weird.

Lisa: Um can we talk about something?

Uh...sure.

Yeah. I just, I didn't have your phone number so

I knew where you lived obviously so I just thought just,

just show up and ask her so, um...

can we hang out?

[Car Engine Shuts Off - Door Opens and Closes]

Just 'cause I'd like to hear more about film school

and I have such boring friends here.

[Laughter]

Oh. This...it's a bad time.

Well, this is awkward.

Lisa: Oh no. I can leave.

I love your hat.

Oh.

I'm Lisa Bowman.

Well I'm Amanda Natalie and I'm partying so...ooh. Right?

Sarah Ann Leaming.

You're the bride!

Oh. My husband is your old physics teacher.

Really?

Lisa: Yeah.

Small towns.

Tell me about it.

Oh sorry. You obviously have plans

so I'll just go home and do my laundry...again.

Have fun.

Amanda: Well we're just going to karaoke.

I mean she refuses to go to a strip club so boo.

I love karaoke.

Lisa: Honestly, no bragging,

we were just the two best-looking people

at Guelph University.

so we just thought it was fate to get married.

He had this leather jacket that he looked so hot in

and then the only job he could get was in this hell hole

and the only job I could find was in an insurance agency

and then I just started to think everybody's life sucks

and then I met Heather.

She studied Film.

She lives in the city.

She makes movies.

Uh well that's not quite how it is actually.

Lisa: I'm afraid if I don't do something

we're gonna have a baby and he's gonna make Department Head

and I'm gonna make Office Manager

and this will be my life forever.

I hate it. I hate it.

No. I don't have to, do I?

I can-I can escape like Heather.

I am.

I'm gonna get the fuck out of here!

Amanda: Wait so you're married

and you're gonna give him up?

Yes.

Is he cute?

Yes.

Ria Leaming: Don't you dare have a heart attack

and, if you do, I am going to get fully dressed

before I call 9-1-1.

But to die in your arms,

what better fate could a man have?

Oh god.

I have to stop breaking my number one rule.

What's your number one rule?

Never have sex with a man who loves you.

You will only disappoint him in the long run.

Does that mean you don't have sex with your husband

or that your husband doesn't love you?

Let's not talk about my marriage, okay?

I think we should talk about your marriage.

Only married people understand marriage.

I was married.

Your wife died so long ago

you never had time to discover what marriage is really about.

Trust me.

It's easy to find someone you want to fuck.

It's not so easy to find someone

you want to spend a boring Tuesday night with.

You only say that because you made the wrong choice.

Jesus. What has got into you?

Do not go there.

My idiot daughter might think we're ancient

but we're not, Ria.

You don't know how old I feel.

I'm saying it's not too late.

Well honey it's always too late.

On the first day of our lives it's too late.

Now shut up and fuck me.

♪ Cuddle up a little closer, lovely mine. ♪

♪ Cuddle up and be my little clinging vine. ♪

♪ Like to make your cheeks so rosy. ♪

♪ Like to make you comfy cozy.

Uh you know what?

I might call it a night.

No. I don't want the party to end.

Heather: I'm kind of feeling that night on the football field.

Um don't forget.

We need to squeeze in that bridal interview

before the wedding tomorrow.

It won't take long.

Heather, let's keep in touch, okay?

And I'll call you when I move to the city

and maybe you could introduce me to some of the cool people.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe.

Amanda: ♪ ...clinging vine.

♪ Like to see your cheeks so rosy. ♪

♪ Like to make you comfy cozy. ♪

Right. Happiness over.

Gotta go.

But you know what they say?

Glass half empty is better than spit.

You're the only person who says that.

Let's be happy a little longer.

Heather: Your wife is divorcing you.

That's a really beautiful hat.

Heather: So, uh, can I come in?

I'm back. Did Mrs. Leaming come?

Dad.

Did you girls have a nice time?

Uh it-it was an interesting evening.

Great, great. That's just great.

Just great.

Well Walt, I hope you have sweet dreams.

Oh I'm sure I will.

I have a date for the wedding kind of.

Uh is that okay?

Did you meet him at karaoke?

No. I would never meet someone at karaoke.

Is he handsome?

Yeah.

Well I don't see why not.

The day's finally here.

See you in the morning.

Walt: Something for my blue suit.

Heather: You really want to be my date tomorrow

and why make it a surprise?

I like to surprise people.

All right. Well I'm going to bed.

Oh I need to take my pills.

Mrs. Leaming didn't give them to you?

No. She got caught up in her book.

Jesus. I mean she had one thing to do.

Oh. And could you get me the uh...?

Actually I was thinking of trying the nicotine gum.

What about this one?

[Doorbell]

The shoe polish is in the top drawer!

Well don't you look beautiful?

Heather: Hey. Yeah. You, uh, you do look nice.

This is your date?

Doug Leaming: Would you help me with this bloody tie?

Walt: Doug, let me help you with that. Come here. Come here.

Thanks Walt.

This is going to be a long day.

I never could do this.

I heard what happened at the pharmacy the other night.

Really?

You must have felt like a complete fool.

Don't judge me.

I want to be just like you when I grow up.

I just don't know how you always look so great.

I put two hours a day into it.

Amanda: Yeah and you're a wonderful cook.

You do all that charity work.

You have the perfect marriage.

You're awesome.

Awesome.

God. I hate the taste of alcohol.

anyone's ever gonna want to marry me?

Sure. -Yeah?

I wonder if I should try tranquilizers.

Do you take tranquilizers

or whatever they're called these days?

No.

See, I think the worst part of life

is this whole short-term, long-term thing?

Pardon? Oh I'm sorry. I'm not too smart.

I know, but men really don't care about that.

No. I meant I have a hangover today.

You do something because it feels better,

so much better in the short-term

and the next thing you know

you've made the long-term so much harder

and then the short-term comes around again

because jesus we live in the short-term,

not the long-term

and you just say to yourself why not?

I'll just have that drink or that...

kiss.

There you are.

Who was it said in the long run we're all dead?

Oprah.

Keynes.

I don't think he meant it to be quite as comforting

as I'm finding it right now.

I know you want one and I'm in no position to pass judgment.

Walt: Oh no.

Today I'm staying sober.

Why is that so much scarier than

'I'm gonna get shit faced on your daughter's special day?'

Doug Leaming: I should go and show the caterers where to set up.

Okay. Doug, Doug.

What? What?

I just wanted to tell you...

Doug Leaming: What?

I love you.

I'm in a hurry.

Besides, you hate it when I kiss you and mess up your lipstick.

See you later.

Oh. Let me give you those napkins

to take to the reception hall.

Doug Leaming: No worries.

Ria Leaming: I'm sorry I don't have time to socialize,

but you couldn't have come on a worse day.

Everyone's got someone to love but me, huh?

[Laughs]

Who are you?

I'm the maid of honour.

Hey, do you have any advice for me?

Me? Advice?

Yeah well you're Keith's dad, right?

Who's Keith?

The groom. He's a great guy.

His parents must have given him great advice.

My Dad said just shut up and give me the TV remote.

I've got advice for the groom.

Where is he? Upstairs?

No, no. He can't be here.

He can't see the bride before the wedding.

People still believe crap like that?

It's a tradition.

Well they're probably at the church soon though

'cause the groom has to arrive first.

Geez. The human race is so fucked.

I'm gonna get out of your hair.

Oh. Okay. No worries.

Um I'll drop by tomorrow.

Oh I'm still going to the wedding.

Let me help you with that, Doug.

You got room in the car for one more?

It'll be nice to get to know each other a little better.

Actually you and I have a lot in common.

And what's that?

Our daughters are best friends.

Okay.

Hey. Do you think I need to lose weight?

No, honey, no.

Your breasts are the best thing you have going for you.

Sarah Ann!

Will you take Amanda...?

Sweetheart?

Heather: I need the juxtaposition of the bride in her wedding dress

in the empty rooms that represent her future.

Well I don't want it look like it was shot by Tarkovsky.

I looked him up.

I don't have much time.

I'm-I'm getting married today.

It will only take a second.

Oh, uh, I left my camera in the car.

Okay. You go ahead.

I'll be there in a second, okay?

Where are you, Colin?

I'm here.

She told me that I'd be a surprise.

I can read Heather Lee's mind better than she can read mine.

Yeah.

She came to see you last night?

Colin: Yeah, yeah.

She, um, she told me my wife is divorcing me.

It's probably for the best.

Yeah.

You look beautiful.

Look, I know that you said that your parents would be destroyed

if they thought that you were a homewrecker.

But now I'm a free man.

Sarah Ann: Heather?

Can you come in here?

Oh uh no, no.

I think you should be here for this.

You found the jacket.

Yeah. It's, uh, it's got a couple of rips in it

and I'm missing some of the buttons but...

Colin: Sarah Ann,

I love you so much.

God.

Can we have this conversation another time?

I have a really busy day.

Heather: You love Colin and now he's free.

How can you marry Keith?

It's easy.

I say I do and then it's done.

The man compared you to his car.

He compared me to his car?

Yeah.

Wow. He loves that car.

I didn't think he was half as crazy about me.

You're missing the point here.

Wait.

I can get a job in England.

I didn't tell Lisa because I wanted to stay here with you.

But now we can go together.

You've always wanted to travel

and Keith wants to say at home.

You really think that you can come back into town

for nine days and fix my entire life?

Isn't that why you left?

Because my mom and I tried to fix yours?

I know that you think that you're helping and my mom and I,

we thought that we were helping but you just

you never know the whole story about someone else's life.

I know enough.

I know that you love Colin and Colin loves you.

But you don't know that I'm dying.

I have end stage renal failure.

I need dialysis several times a week

and that's why I can't just go see the world

whenever I want to.

Otherwise, I'd go on my own.

Oh my god.

But you'll get a transplant and...

I'm not an easy match.

Life's not simple, Heather.

Sometimes the right thing to do

is just marry the guy who your dad likes

and stay at home because your mom's gonna lose you too soon

and it's breaking her heart.

But you'll get a kidney, you will and...

Do you know how long it takes to get a kidney?

It could take years and lots of people die trying

and then the kidney doesn't work out

and then I'm back on the list

waiting and waiting getting sicker and sicker

you know all they have to do to speed things up

is just make organ donation a default.

Yeah. Make dead people give up

something that they don't need anymore

because they're dead but no one cares.

Why didn't you tell me?

'Cause no one lets you dance on a football field till dawn

if you're dying.

The only people that know are my mom and my dad

and people at the hospital and Keith who I'm marrying

because then he'll be my dad's son

and he would love that and I'll have someone to lean on if...

I mean my parents are falling apart already

and he-he loves helping people.

But you don't love him.

People get married for lots of reasons.

My life is not a love story.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I have to go get married.

You should have told me.

You wanted to know my secrets,

you should have kept in touch.

Go after her.

No.

She doesn't love me, Heather.

She does. She...

No, she doesn't.

Heather: Wait. Sarah Ann,

Colin can help you and your parents.

You've had years to think that he's somebody special

but I had sex with him in a crappy motel room

I mean if that man can't make a woman like Lisa happy,

there's no way he could make you or me happy.

But you said you loved him.

Of course I love him.

He's-he's our fun high school years.

He's-he's scared, he's lonely.

But that's not marry me love.

That's meet me in a motel love.

I bet you didn't think that I'd turn out to be

the complicated one.

Sarah Ann's still not answering her phone.

I was so hoping to see her car here.

I only hope that Doug knows where she is.

[Knocking]

Ria, hey. Hey.

Dr. Mickelson: I just thought I'd come early in case you need me.

Do you have any tranquilizers on you?

Uh...

[Gasps] There she is.

Oh god. Thank god.

This day can go ahead after all.

Videographer who wore black to show her contempt

for the institution of marriage finds herself suitably dressed.

Sarah Ann.

This is the prettiest dress I'm ever gonna wear.

I want to have fun.

No. Now I know why you feel so superior all the time,

peering out from this thing at everyone else.

And there's the mother of the bride.

Say hi, Mom.

Hi mom.

Walt: I thought I'd never love again and then, pow

this woman seemed completely out of my league.

She's beautiful.

She's religious.

She's married to somebody prominent in town.

Doug Leaming: Did I tell you how lovely you look tonight?

You did.

Doug Leaming: Did I tell you again?

Oh. Thank you very, very much.

One day our hands touched and then I kissed her.

I can still taste that kiss.

I don't think I should be hearing this.

Thank you.

I love the way you fold them.

You just have that...

She told me right up front the best I could get was an affair

so loving her and watching her go home to another man,

And when you've got a heart condition and a hypertension

you can just pull your own plug at any time.

Maybe he wants to be rescued or something maybe?

Doug Leaming: Yeah. I think that's a good idea.

I told myself her husband must be someone really special.

I didn't have a chance and then I heard something he did

which made me realize he's no better than I am.

Could you pass me that glass there?

Come on. It's getting late, big guy. We gotta go.

Vendana: Oh it's still early.

Vendana: Actually it's...it is a bit late.

Yes.

This won't take much longer.

You know what the problem was?

Walt: The real problem is she's afraid of love.

You can't be afraid of love, Keith.

Well he's right about that, you know?

Walt: I regret those years I spent trying to drink myself

into an early grave.

it's good to see that you've turned a corner

in your life.

That is so impressive.

Yeah. I did pushups yesterday.

Wow. Doug: Pushups?

I do pushups every day, 200.

200?

Uh oh. I let myself go to seed.

You know, you're an inspiration, Walt.

Exactly. Learn from me.

Go out there and find yourself a woman

who makes your heart pound with joy, with lust.

Don't marry someone who obviously doesn't love you.

Sarah Ann loves me.

Sarah Ann loves him.

Does she? Really? Are you sure?

I'm sure. -He's sure.

You never really know.

You don't?

And ask yourself this, Keith.

Do you really love her?

Doug Leaming: Yes, he really loves her, Walt.

I don't think you do.

being part of the most respected family in town.

I think you love being a police officer and you love Doug.

Walt: I don't mean sexually or romantically.

Although a lot of people might say police officers,

guns, big sticks.

You don't need to be Freud to wonder what's going on

under all that macho bullshit but sometimes a big stick

is just a big stick.

What's your point, Walt?

Walt: We're getting off topic.

My point is simple.

Whether Sarah Ann loves you or, you know, not,

would a man compare the love of his life to a car?

Doug Leaming: Okay, that's it. You're done and frankly,

you owe us an apology right now.

Apologize to you? Are you crazy?

[Laughter]

Something borrowed, something blue.

doesn't mean people must obey your every command.

Oh wait, didn't you already find that out?

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

You don't say that to me and get away with it.

Can't take the truth?

Okay. Doug, Doug, Doug.

Don't. Not today. Doug?

Coward!

Doug. You can't leave.

It's Sarah Ann's wedding.

Dad, whatever this is,

I know you started it so come on.

Look. We're going home.

Walt, buddy, don't get too excited.

That wouldn't be wise.

Did you see him run?

I knew he was a coward.

Okay, okay.

But we're gonna take a back exit.

Smart thinking and, uh, I'll go get your dad.

Um I'll sort this out,

whatever the misunderstanding is.

You just wait here and don't you worry about a thing.

Walt is not a well man so don't you believe anything he says.

In fact, he's probably just

forgotten to take his pill today.

Right Heather?

He forgets to take his pills all the time, Mr. Leaming.

He gets confused.

I'm not confused.

Heather: Okay but that's not saying much actually.

Oh my god.

Apologize you prick.

I think I'm going to faint.

Everyone calm down before things get serious.

I think we're already at serious.

Please don't do this.

Vendana: Please Doug. Don't do this.

Don't you insult me.

I am the Police Chief.

I am a pillar in this town.

I am not a drunk.

You didn't half raise my kid.

I half raised your kid.

So you do need a gun to feel like a real man.

Vendana: Doug, think of Sarah Ann's condition.

I'm not gonna ask you

how you know so much about my family's private business

but I am gonna ask you to shut up.

Don't you dare piss on my manhood.

Doug, he didn't mean what he said.

He did mean it.

You bet your ass I meant it.

He's out of his mind.

He's an alcoholic.

He's delusional.

Would you stop handling me?

I'm not a fool.

He meant every word that he said.

I know it.

Okay. You're right.

I'm so sorry but I-I never meant to make you feel

any less of a man.

I swear. It meant nothing.

It didn't mean nothing.

You love me. You said so.

What the hell are you talking about?

Oh my god.

You-you slept with my wife?

I made love to your wife.

Holy shit.

What was this fight actually about?

This guy kind of implied that guns were phallic symbols.

Right.

Well Doug, it can't have been that much of a surprise.

I mean maybe that it was Walt.

That was a bit of a surprise to me too.

And me.

Yeah. I think all of us.

And well not to make the situation worse...

Keith: But he told me some junk about...

I told him what matters is love.

Oh you idiot.

It's his wedding day.

He doesn't want to hear that.

Go ahead and shoot me.

Dad, can you please stop trying to die?

Chief? Doc Mickelson here. Okay? We need to,

we need to lower that gun and we need to mellow out.

Courage Walt, everyone. Courage.

I think what would help right now would be...

Please don't say a song.

A prayer?

Amanda: Oh now we're praying.

I'm scared.

I don't think the one who wants to die

should decide what happens next.

I totally second that.

I've never felt more alive.

Good. You enjoy it 'cause you are a dead man!

Okay. Enough.

I am gonna choose the first man who says something sensible.

Okay. Mrs. Leaming,

take Sarah Ann to the car where it's safe.

Dad, look,

I know that you think that this is some grand romantic gesture

but Sarah Ann is really sick for real.

So maybe the bravest thing you can do

is stick around and-and help Ria with the little things.

You know, all the things that you didn't help me with,

the things we're supposed to do for the people we love.

Yeah. Okay.

Okay? It's okay.

Walt: Ria, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry with all my heart.

No, no, no, no. No, no.

This-this is-this is not over between us.

This isn't over between us.

You owe me an apology.

Oh my god!

Doug: This is not over.

Sarah Ann! Sarah Ann!

Dad! Dad! Dad!

Dad!

Okay. Get ready for your close-up.

I'm gonna zoom in and you're gonna put the gun down.

What?

Okay. Nobody move. Don't move.

This is my wedding video and I want it to be perfect.

This is the best part so don't move.

Okay.

This is my wedding video and I don't want anybody to ruin it.

Okay. Dad, don't move.

Don't move.

Okay. Dad...

I want you to lower the gun

and when you do I want you to think about how much

your daughter loves you

and I want you to think about how,

how she doesn't want to go prison to visit you.

I'm Police Chief. I could hush this up.

Sarah Ann: No.

There are too many witnesses, Daddy,

and besides he didn't do anything that bad.

he just fell in love with the hottest woman in town.

I want you to respect me.

Well I don't. I love you.

I love you enough to see what a fuck-up you are,

you know, what fuck-ups we are all but I don't...

I don't want to be this...

this frozen perfect family

and I don't want to be a frozen perfect person, you know?

And-and I don't want to marry Keith

and he doesn't want to marry me.

And you...I don't know.

Mom, Mom might leave you for Heather's dad

and you and Vendana?

I don't know.

I don't know but it's okay.

It's okay, you know?

We're not dead.

The dead don't fuck up but we do.

So it's okay.

Somebody take the gun.

Sarah Ann: Your dad, my mom? Ooh.

That's just gonna make my head explode.

Who do you think she'll pick?

I think your dad is gonna win with that whole

I can't live without you thing.

When people think you're about to die

Heather: Well it's probably not the healthiest of relationships.

Oh. You're setting the bar in life way too high.

Okay well just in case you're wrong

I'm gonna get him a puppy before I go home.

Right. Yeah.

You'll be going home now.

I have an offer to make you.

I don't want your kidney.

I remember when we were in school and

you donated blood and you kept bragging that

even though your math test was a C minus

at least your blood was an A plus,

A positive.

I'm B negative so no match.

But I do have a futon you could crash on.

You could get dialysis in Toronto

and-and I know that if you get really sick

then you'll need to come home but for right now?

Come on, we'd have fun.

Well only sometimes.

Odds are I'm not gonna have a happy ending.

Well you know what they say.

Glass half empty is better than spit.

Maybe it's just your mom that says that.

Have you ever heard anyone else say that?

No. Let's drink to that.

♪