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1
00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:04,736
IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS
AND SIX DAYS
2
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:06,542
SINCE MY HAROLD DIED,
3
00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:09,584
WHICH MEANS IT'S BEEN
SIX MONTHS AND FIVE DAYS
4
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,310
SINCE I HAD SEX.
5
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,545
WHAT CAN I SAY?
6
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:15,050
LUCKY FOR ME,
HE DIED WITH AN ERECTION.
7
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,323
NOW, I KNOW IN
MY HEART OF HEARTS
8
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,490
NO ONE COULD
REPLACE HIM.
9
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,088
HE WAS LIKE NO OTHER.
10
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:23,821
HE WAS THE BEST HUSBAND
I EVER HAD.
11
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:28,197
BUT THE NEW GIGI
NEEDS A NEW MAN.
12
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:30,559
SOMEONE SOPHISTICATED,
SOMEONE CLASSY.
13
00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:33,828
LIKE A MALE VERSION
OF HUGH GRANT.
14
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,437
SO, I SIGNED UP
FOR SPEED DATING,
15
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,670
WHICH IS LIKE REGULAR DATING
EXCEPT SPED UP.
16
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,736
SO, I GUESS THEY GET
RIGHT DOWN TO THE SEX.
17
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,605
I SIGNED UP RICKY,
AS WELL,
18
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,314
'CAUSE THAT POOR THING
COULD AT LEAST USE
19
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,416
AN OVER-THE-PANT
HAND JOB.
20
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:49,719
* LA LA LA
LA LA LA *
21
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,520
* LA LA LA LA LA
22
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,122
* LA LA LA
LA LA LA *
23
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,756
* LA LA LA LA LA
24
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,560
* LA LA LA
LA LA LA *
25
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:02,232
* LA LA LA LA LA
26
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:08,743
**
27
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,399
* LA LA LA
LA LA LA *
28
00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,208
* LA LA LA LA LA
29
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,540
* LA LA LA LA LA
30
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:20,713
(woman)
TONIGHT, YOU'RE GONNA
MEET LOVELY PEOPLE.
31
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,748
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
A NICE ICEBREAKER.
32
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,393
THERE'S SOME REFRESHMENTS
FOR YOU ALL
33
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,618
TO KINDA LOOSEN UP.
34
00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:28,523
BUT, BEFORE THAT, I WANT
TO GIVE YOU SOME GROUND RULES
35
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:29,856
ON HOW SPEED
DATING WORKS.
36
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,790
SO, YOU WILL--
THERE'S SO MANY
HANDSOME MEN HERE.
37
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,826
YEAH, THERE ARE CERTAINLY
SOME HANDSOME MEN HERE.
38
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,362
YEAH.
THIS ONE OVER
MY SHOULDER,
39
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:38,727
LET ME TELL YA SOMETHIN'.
I'D EAT HIM ALIVE.
40
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,226
YEAH, HE'S VERY HANDSOME.
41
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,768
HE'S A VERY HANDSOME
YOUNG MAN.
42
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,602
BUT, THE ONE--
THERE'S ALSO SOME VERY
HANDSOME WOMEN, TOO.
43
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,337
THE ONE DIRECTLY
BEHIND US-- DON'T LOOK.
44
00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:46,773
DON'T LOOK.
DON'T LOOK.
45
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,507
HE LOOKS LIKE A CREEP.
46
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:49,682
(woman)
YOU'LL FILL IT OUT.
47
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,210
WE'LL SEE WHAT
HAPPENS AFTERWARDS.
48
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,405
ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?
49
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,377
OKAY, LET'S GET
THE DATING STARTED.
50
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:57,647
ARE YOU GUYS READY?
51
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,885
(cheers and applause)
52
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,290
LET'S DO IT.
53
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,662
(screaming)
54
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,659
OH, WATCH IT.
WATCH IT.
55
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:17,172
(indistinct chatter)
56
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:20,667
HELLO, WHAT'S HIS NEW--
HEY.
57
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,208
WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
I'M KALE.
58
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:23,313
WHAT?
KALE.
59
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,354
KALE?
YEAH, LIKE THE FOOD.
60
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,849
LIKE THE LETTUCE?
YEAH.
61
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,951
VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
62
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,653
YOU, TOO.
63
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:34,185
SO, HOW YA DOIN'?
64
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,190
SO, YOU HAVIN' FUN?
65
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,298
(Gigi)
ANAL.
66
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:43,499
I'VE NEVER HAD IT,
BUT I LOVE THE IDEA OF IT.
67
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:44,701
WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT?
68
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,332
I'M WORRIED IT
MIGHT BREAK ME.
69
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,637
YOU CAN TRY IT
WITH A DILDO.
70
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,838
I HAD A DILDO ONCE,
71
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,670
AND I USED IT
TO BEAT MY CHILDREN.
72
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:53,866
PUT YOUR FINGER
RIGHT THERE.
73
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,237
PUT MY FINGER HERE?
YEAH.
74
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:57,477
'CAUSE I DON'T--
75
00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:01,251
THAT'S HOW YOU START
LETTING SOMEONE IN,
76
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:02,622
BY A TOUCH.
77
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,790
YOU HAVE COLD HANDS.
YEAH, IT'S A BIT CHILLY.
78
00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,918
YEAH, MY MOM HAD
VERY COLD FINGERS,
79
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:10,294
BUT SHE WAS DEAD INSIDE.
80
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,434
YOU'RE VERY
INTIMIDATING.
NO, COME ON.
81
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,430
YEAH, YOU-YOU ARE.
NO, LOOK,
WITH THIS SMILE?
82
00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:15,602
THAT'S NOT GONNA--
NO, THAT'S NOT--
83
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,829
THOSE ARE NOT
YOUR TEETH, SIR.
84
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:17,834
THAT'S TRUE.
85
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:18,995
THESE ARE NOT
MY TEETH EITHER.
86
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,932
OH, THAT'S--
THEY COME RIGHT OUT.
87
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,498
OH, WOW, THAT'S A--
YEAH, AND YOU
COME RIGHT IN.
88
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,807
AHH.
(chuckles)
89
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,838
SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?
I'M A WRITER.
90
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:27,914
A WRITER?
YEAH.
91
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,341
I WRITE, TOO.
92
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:30,437
DO YOU REALLY?
WHAT DO YOU WRITE?
93
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:31,508
CAT PLAYS.
94
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,605
OH.
95
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:33,706
SO, ARE THEY-THEY
PLAYS ABOUT CATS
96
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,777
OR PLAYS STARRING CATS?
WITH-- STARRING CATS.
YEAH.
97
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,016
REALLY?
YEAH.
98
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,520
I'M ALLERGIC TO CATS.
99
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:44,359
* I THINK YOU'RE SWEET
OKAY.
100
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:45,792
* I LOVE YOUR HAIR
101
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,756
OH, YOU DO HAVE
A BEAUTIFUL VOICE.
THANK YOU.
102
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:50,455
* YOUR SHIRT
IS BEAUTIFUL *
THANKS.
103
00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:57,238
* I LOVE
THE PATTERNNNNN-NNNNN *
104
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,612
YOUR CAT
IS 25 POUNDS?
105
00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:02,611
YEAH, HE'S
A HEFTY FELLA.
106
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:03,883
DO YOU HAVE
ANY ANIMALS?
107
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,581
YEAH, I-I-I DON'T
HAVE ANY PETS,
108
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:06,953
BUT I-I LIKE DOGS.
109
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:10,950
YEAH, I GUESS
DOGS ARE OKAY.
110
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,054
DESCRIBE YOUR PENIS
IN ONE WORD.
111
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,046
HUGE.
112
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,287
AWESOME.
113
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:16,393
BEAUTIFUL.
114
00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:17,764
BEAUTIFUL PENIS?
YES.
115
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,331
* BEAUTIFUL PENIS
116
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:21,761
ALL RIGHT,
TIME'S UP.
117
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,825
FELLAS, WRITE IN
"YES" OR "NO"
118
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:24,974
WITH YOUR DATER
AND THEN ROTATE
119
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,868
TO THE NEXT TABLE.
120
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,270
(indistinct chatter)
121
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:33,473
HI.
HI.
122
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,807
UH, RICKY.
123
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,612
HI, RICKY.
SARAH.
124
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,754
NICE TO MEET YOU,
SARAH.
NICE-NICE TO MEET YOU.
125
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:39,949
(clears throat)
WELL, WHAT DO YOU DO?
126
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:43,050
I'M, UH, A VETERINARIAN.
SO, YEAH.
127
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,653
YOU'RE LIKE THE BEST
KIND OF DOCTOR,
128
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:47,415
'CAUSE I THINK ANIMALS ARE
A LOT BETTER THAN HUMANS.
129
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:49,415
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
YEAH.
130
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:52,387
SPECIFICALLY CATS.
CATS.
131
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,001
YOU KNOW, YOU REMIND
ME OF MY FATHER.
REALLY?
132
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,329
IS THAT-IS THAT IN A GOOD WAY
OR A BAD WAY?
133
00:04:58,366 --> 00:04:59,826
IN A GREAT WAY.
REALLY?
WHY?
134
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,537
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
IT'LL BE A LITTLE WEIRD
135
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,569
IF WE HAVE
SEXUAL RELATIONS.
136
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:04,814
OH.
137
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:05,708
(laughs)
YOU UNDERSTAND?
138
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,679
OKAY.
139
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:10,508
IF YOU WERE GOING TO
BE ON A DESERT ISLAND,
140
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,114
AND YOU COULD ONLY
TAKE ONE SPICE,
141
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,945
WHAT WOULD IT BE?
142
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,121
EASY.
143
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,078
CUMIN.
CUMIN.
144
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,146
YEAH.
145
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,594
WELL, I LIKE TO SAY CUMIN
BECAUSE I LIKE GOING,
146
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,950
"WHAT SPICE IS
AT THE DOOR?
147
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,418
"CUMIN."
148
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,726
(laughter)
149
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,058
OH, THAT JUST MAKES ME
LAUGH AS A CUMIN BEING.
150
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:30,634
(laughter)
151
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,704
SO, YOU'VE HAD MEN?
YES.
152
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,443
AND YOU LIKE IT?
YES.
153
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,908
I'M NOT GAY,
BUT I LIKE MEN.
154
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,738
WELL, HAVING SEX WITH A MAN.
NOT A MAN.
155
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,583
YEAH, NO, I BELIEVE YOU.
I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO MEN.
156
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:44,139
OH, I TOTALLY
BELIEVE YOU, 100%.
SO, YEAH.
157
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,047
YOUR EYES ARE, UM,
THEY'RE LIKE, UH, BAMBI.
158
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,520
OH.
THEY'RE LIKE B--
UH, YOU HAVE BIG--
159
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:49,779
THEY'RE REALLY BIG.
BUT, LIKE--
160
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,077
THEY'RE LIKE
THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE.
161
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:53,648
(laughter)
(woman)
ALL RIGHT, TIME'S UP.
162
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,387
ROTATE TO THE NEXT TABLE.
OH.
163
00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:56,823
UH, WELL, IT WAS A PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU, SARAH.
164
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,427
LOVELY TO MEET YOU, RICKY.
(chuckles)
165
00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,429
THANK YOU.
YEAH.
166
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:02,100
OH, HERE, WHY DON'T--
WHY DON'T I JUST, UM,
167
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,129
GIVE YOU MY NUMBER NOW?
(chuckles)
168
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:05,634
UH, YOU WANT ME
TO CALL YOU?
169
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,166
UM--
I DON'T WANNA
BOTHER YOU.
170
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,770
YOU WON'T BOTHER ME.
171
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,572
UM, I'D LOVE
IF YOU'D CALL,
172
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:13,514
AND MAYBE WE COULD DO
DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT?
173
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:16,581
CALL ME.
174
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,650
I, UH, I WILL.
OKAY.
175
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,409
NICE TO MEET YOU, RICKY.
(chuckles)
176
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,478
NICE TO MEET YOU, SARAH.
(chuckles)
177
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:31,494
**
178
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:32,985
HEY.
179
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,156
HI.
180
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,834
I HAVE, LIKE, A SORE
ON MY TONGUE.
181
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:37,033
I WONDER IF
IT'S FROM SHAKING
182
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,904
ONE OF THESE
CREEP'S HANDS.
183
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,202
I MET SOMEONE.
184
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,603
WHAT?
185
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,195
I MET A GIRL TONIGHT.
186
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,666
YOU-YOU-YOU M--
YOU MET--
187
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,205
YOU MET A-A GIRL--
A GIRL?
188
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,739
YEAH, AND I KNOW
IT'S REALLY QUICK,
189
00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:52,105
BUT I-I MIGHT BE,
LIKE, IN LOVE.
190
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,815
BE CAREFUL, RICKY.
I'M TELLING YA.
191
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,178
WOMEN WILL FLEECE YA.
192
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,846
CAN'T YOU JUST BE
HAPPY FOR ME?
193
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,945
LIKE, I'M-I'M REALLY
HAPPY, RIGHT NOW.
194
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,517
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I'VE EVER MADE
195
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:02,785
A CONNECTION
WITH SOMEBODY.
196
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:03,993
OKAY, SO, YOU GOT
A GIRL'S NUMBER.
197
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,164
GOOD FOR YOU.
WHOOP-DEE-DO.
198
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,792
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.
199
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,557
NOW, I DON'T NEED ONE
OF THESE CRAZY CREEPIES.
200
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,997
TOMORROW NIGHT,
YOU AND I,
201
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,072
WE'RE GOING TO THE FANCIEST
RESTAURANT IN BOCA.
202
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,571
I'LL PAY FOR YOUR MEAL.
203
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,713
WE'LL HAVE-- WE'LL DRINK
TO OUR HEARTS CONTENT.
204
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,708
I CAN'T.
WHY NOT?
205
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,540
I HAVE A DATE WITH SARAH
TOMORROW, PROBABLY.
206
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,936
SO, WHAT HAPPENS TO ME?
207
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,077
OH, SAD OLD GIGI,
208
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,523
SHE GOES HOME AND CRIES
HERSELF TO SLEEP.
209
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:29,379
NO.
210
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:30,876
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
GONNA DO TOMORROW?
211
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,848
I'M GONNA TRY CRACK.
212
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,186
DON'T--
I'M GONNA TRY CRACK.
213
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:35,261
I'M GONNA START CRACK.
DON'T PUT THAT ON ME.
214
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,828
I'M GONNA FIND SOMEBODY
WHO HAS CRACK AND SMOKE IT.
215
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,088
THAT-THAT'S NOT--
216
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,226
I'M NOT FORCING
YOU TO DO CRACK.
217
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,700
IF YOU DO CRACK,
THAT IS ON YOUR OWN WATCH.
218
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,829
TOMORROW NIGHT--
I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU,
AND I DON'T WANNA BE ON A--
219
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,004
TOMORROW NIGHT,
I'M DOING CRACK.
220
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:45,872
I DON'T WANNA
BE ON A DATE
221
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,239
THINKING ABOUT YOU
DOING CRACK SOMEWHERE.
222
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:49,938
(gargling)
223
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,710
OH!
224
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:53,039
ZAH-ZAH-ZAH-ZAH-ZAH-ZAH-
ZAH-ZAH-ZAH-ZAH-ZAH.
225
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:54,173
THAT'S ME ON CRACK.
226
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,677
ZAH-ZAH-ZAH-ZAH-
ZAH-ZAH-ZAH.
227
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,179
HEY, HEY, HEY,
I'M ITCHY.
228
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,910
I'M ITCHY.
229
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,546
THAT'S ME TOMORROW NIGHT.
230
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:03,681
PLEASE LET ME HAVE
THIS ONE NIGHT, OKAY?
231
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,047
FOR MY HAPPINESS.
232
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,515
FINE.
233
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,124
GO ON YOUR DATE.
GREAT.
234
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,755
ENJOY YOURSELF.
235
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:10,760
I THINK I WILL.
236
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,831
OH, HAVE JUST THE BEST TIME
YOU'VE EVER HAD.
237
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,230
GUESS WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
WHAT?
238
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,201
I'M ALSO GONNA
GO OUT ON A DATE
239
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,029
WITH THE VERY BEST
PERSON I KNOW.
240
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,225
WHO?
ME.
241
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,697
YOU KNOW, IF I WAS--
(bleep) YOU.
242
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,983
(telephone ringing)
243
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:32,148
**
244
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,709
(Ricky on answering machine)
HEY, YOU'VE
REACHED RICKY.
245
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,047
UH, LEAVE ME A MESSAGE.
(answer machine beeping)
246
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:39,023
HELLO, RICKY,
GOOD MORNING.
247
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:42,722
IT'S ME, YOUR EMPLOYER,
GIGI ROTBLUM.
248
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:45,186
UH, YOU HAPPEN TO BE
ABOUT 15 MINUTES LATE.
249
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,025
YOU GOT ME
A LITTLE WORRIED.
250
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,830
UH, LISTEN, I KNOW YOU
HAVE A BIG DATE TONIGHT,
251
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,632
BUT GET OVER HERE.
252
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,074
OKAY, I HAVE
ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS.
253
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,699
THIS MORNING, I WOKE UP.
254
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,974
ONE OF MY TEETH CAME
RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.
255
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,813
I DON'T KNOW WHY
I'M LOSING TEETH
256
00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,568
LIKE AN OLD DOG.
257
00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,307
THEY'RE JUST DROPPIN'
RIGHT OUT.
258
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:02,641
I KEPT IT.
259
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,876
IT'S IN THE JAR.
260
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:06,351
YOU KNOW, THE JAR
WHERE I KEEP MY, UH,
261
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,149
MY FEMININE PRODUCTS.
262
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,821
ARE YOU-- ARE YOU HERE--
ARE YOU THERE?
263
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,320
HELLO?
264
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:14,291
I BET YOU'RE STANDING THERE
WHACKING OFF TO MY MESSAGE.
265
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,621
TO THE SOUND OF MY VOICE.
266
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,857
YOU'RE FILTHY.
267
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,062
STOP TOUCHING YOUR SCHMUCK
AND GET OVER HERE.
268
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,104
(beep)
269
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,235
I AM OVER THE MOON
WITH EXCITEMENT
270
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,939
FOR MY BIG DATE TONIGHT.
271
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,071
(chuckles)
272
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,735
I'M GONNA EAT
LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING
273
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,714
AND FART LIKE
NO ONE'S SMELLING.
274
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,343
(laughing)
275
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,347
I DON'T NEED ANYONE
TO HAVE A WONDERFUL NIGHT
276
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,249
ON THE TOWN.
277
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:48,291
**
278
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:54,631
HELLO, I HAVE A RESERVATION
UNDER THE NAME ROTBLUM.
279
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:55,832
FOR ONE?
FOR ONE.
280
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,773
BEST SEAT IN
THE HOUSE, PLEASE.
281
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:58,928
THANK YOU.
282
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,996
RIGHT THIS WAY.
YOU KNOW, DID I--
283
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,944
WAS IT YOU THAT I SPOKE
TO ON THE PHONE
284
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,270
WHEN I MADE
THE RESERVATION?
285
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,214
UM, NO.
286
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,408
YEAH, WHOEVER I SPOKE
TO WAS VERY NASTY
287
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,910
'CAUSE I COULDN'T HEAR
WHAT SHE WAS SAYING,
288
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,712
AND SHE WAS VERY
SHORT WITH ME.
289
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,884
WELL, I AM SO,
SO, SO SORRY.
YEAH.
290
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,123
PLEASE ENJOY YOUR MEAL.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
291
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:28,755
**
292
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,981
(Ricky)
JUST STOP ME IF
YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE,
293
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,753
BUT, UH, WHERE DID
THE PEDOPHILE TRAIN STOP?
294
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:49,952
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
WHERE?
295
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,353
AT THE MO-LE-STATION.
296
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,894
(laughter)
297
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:56,322
OH...
298
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:59,056
YOUR-YOUR SMILE
COULD-COULD STOP WARS.
299
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,292
(laughter)
300
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,697
I WOULD JUST LOVE TO
RIP THAT OFF YOUR FACE
301
00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:03,029
AND SEND IT TO
THE MIDDLE EAST
302
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,403
AND BE LIKE,
"HEY, LISTEN UP."
AWW.
303
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:07,372
"HER SMILE IS HERE."
304
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,440
AWW.
(sighs)
305
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:15,380
OOH.
SO, WHAT'S NEW, GIGI?
306
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,178
HMM? TELL ME.
WHAT'S NEW?
307
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,150
NOTHIN' MUCH.
308
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,849
SAME AS USHE.
309
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:24,281
YOU KNOW, I GO TO THE--
I GO TO THE PARK.
310
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,147
YEAH, I-I TRY
TO GET OUT MYSELF
311
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,486
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.
312
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,060
OH, YEAH,
WHERE DO YOU GO?
313
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,289
OH, I JUST GO DOWN--
314
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,193
I WALK DOWN
THE STEPS
315
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,055
TO THE PARKING LOT
AT THE CONDO.
316
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,334
I LOOK AROUND.
317
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,432
AND IF THERE'S
NO ACTION, I JUST--
318
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:40,074
UH, SORRY TO INTERRUPT
YOUR CONVERSATION HERE,
319
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:44,100
BUT, UH, ARE YOU EATING
SANS COMPANION THIS EVENING?
320
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,437
UH, YES.
321
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:46,742
(Leonard)
WOW.
322
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:48,314
DINNER FOR ONE.
(laughter)
323
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,041
YEAH, YEAH.
WELL, ME, TOO.
324
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,307
ME, TOO.
IT'S A LITTLE
EMBARRASSING.
325
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,784
NO, I'VE BEEN COMING HERE
EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT
326
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,954
WITH MY-- WELL,
WITH MY WIFE
327
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:58,123
WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE,
AND I STILL COME BACK.
328
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,351
THAT'S-THAT'S WONDERFUL.
MY NAME IS LEONARD.
329
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,817
LEONARD?
(Leonard)
MM-HMM.
330
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:02,915
HI, HOW ARE--
331
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,026
OOH, YOU HAVE A VERY
STRONG HAND-HAND--
332
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,058
UH, YOU HAVE A VERY
STRONG HANDSH-SHAKE.
333
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:11,364
OH.
MY NAME IS, UM...
334
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,068
HELLO?
335
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,170
WHOO.
336
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,171
MY NAME IS, UH,
UH, UH, GIGI.
337
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,873
GIGI, GIGI.
AHH.
GIGI IS MY-- IS MY NAME.
338
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:18,935
YES.
339
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:20,172
DO YOU MIND IF I
JOIN YOU FOR DINNER?
340
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,807
PLEASE SIT.
PLEASE SIT.
341
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,312
YEAH, OF COURSE.
342
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,353
OH, YOU CAN HAVE ACCESS
TO THE ACCESS.
343
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,378
(laughter)
344
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,776
YOU KNOW, I-I PROMISED
MYSELF THIS EVENING
345
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:34,048
WHEN I CAME HERE THAT
I WOULD TALK, FINALLY,
346
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,117
TO A REAL PERSON.
347
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:39,826
OH, WELL,
I'M ALL REAL.
348
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,060
AS REAL AS THEY COME.
349
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,355
(chuckles)
350
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,807
YOU KNOW, RICKY, I FEEL LIKE
WE SHOULD JUST GO SOMEWHERE.
351
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:56,041
YOU KNOW, GO-GO
SOMEWHERE REALLY ROMANTIC.
352
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,536
SOMEWHERE WE'VE
NEVER BEEN BEFORE.
353
00:12:57,577 --> 00:13:00,947
LIKE THE PENTAGON.
(chuckles)
354
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:03,481
DO YOU THINK WE
COULD GET AWAY?
355
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,816
I DON'T THINK SO.
356
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:07,592
I-I HAVE A BOSS, GIGI.
357
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,320
I'M AT HER CALL
AT ALL TIMES,
358
00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:11,086
AND I JUST DON'T THINK
I'D EVER BE ABLE
359
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,534
TO GET THE TIME OFF.
OH.
360
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:16,029
HER HUSBAND RECENTLY
PASSED AND LEFT HER WITH
361
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:18,503
JUST DISGUSTING
AMOUNT OF MONEY,
362
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,531
UH, FOR ONE HUMAN
TO HAVE.
363
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,397
HOW MUCH MONEY,
WOULD YOU SAY?
364
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:24,936
UH, HOW MUCH MONEY?
WOULD YOU-- DID--
365
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,442
WAS GIGI LEFT
FROM HER HUSBAND?
366
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,113
OH, YEAH, UH,
I DON'T KNOW.
367
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:32,281
BALLPARK, IT WAS, LIKE,
6.2 SOMETHIN' MILLION DOLLARS.
368
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,022
AND THAT'S IN DOLLARS?
YEAH, USD.
369
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:36,378
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, LIKE--
370
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,986
HOW OLD IS GIGI?
371
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,188
SEVENTY-SIX.
HMM.
372
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,289
YEAH, SO--
373
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,460
SO, NOT A LOTTA TIME
TO SPEND THAT MONEY.
374
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,959
NO, I GUESS NOT.
YEAH.
375
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:47,191
YOU KNOW, WHO NEEDS
$6.2 MILLION?
YEAH, YEAH.
376
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,227
(chuckles)
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH
THAT KIND OF MONEY?
377
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,102
GOSH, YEAH,
WHAT WOULD--
378
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:53,030
WHAT WOULD YOU DO
WITH THAT KINDA MONEY?
379
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,336
I WOULD SPEND IT ON YOU.
380
00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,014
HMM.
381
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,269
OH, OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
382
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,907
IT WAS--
IT WAS WONDERFUL.
383
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,383
MY WIFE, MAY SHE
REST IN PEACE,
384
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,151
WAS A SCHOOLTEACHER,
MIDDLE SCHOOL.
385
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,319
SHE TAUGHT
ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCES,
386
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,888
AND, UM, THE LITTLE
BASTARDS DESTROYED HER.
HMM.
387
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,989
YOU KNOW,
PUBESCENT PRE-TEENS
388
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,921
ARE DESPICABLE
HUMAN BEINGS.
OH, BELIEVE ME.
I KNOW.
389
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,057
I KNOW.
I HAD THREE OF MY OWN.
390
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,161
THREE?
THREE OF MY OWN, YES.
391
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,603
AND THE YOUNGEST, ARTHUR,
THE EXHIBITIONIST,
392
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:24,629
HE WOULD SHOW ME
HIS ERECTION--
OH.
393
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,634
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING,
LIKE CLOCKWORK.
394
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,966
AND I WOULD SAY TO HIM,
395
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:28,971
"WHAT THE HELL'S
THE MATTER WITH YOU?
396
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,102
"I'M YOUR MOTHER.
397
00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:31,497
"PUT THAT AWAY."
398
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,938
SOUNDS FREAKY.
399
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,073
YEAH, TOTALLY.
400
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,207
OH.
YEAH.
401
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,912
CHEERS.
402
00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:40,354
TOAST TO LONELINESS,
AND, UM,
403
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,080
ALL OF ITS PAIN,
DESPERATION THAT IT CAUSES,
404
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:46,616
AND PERSEVERANCE
THAT IT CREATES.
405
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,193
HUH? THAT'S GOOD.
406
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,121
YEAH, TO EMPTY BEDS
AND EMPTY HEARTS.
407
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,927
YEAH, TO WHORES.
408
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,689
I'M SORRY?
409
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:54,996
TO WHORES.
410
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,698
I ALWAYS END ALL
OF MY TOASTS, YOU KNOW,
411
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,429
CHEERING TO WHORES.
412
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:02,236
(laughter)
I LIKE THAT.
413
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,599
TO WHORES.
TO WHORES.
414
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:06,506
TO WHORES.
TO WHORES, EVERYONE.
415
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,379
* LA LA
LA LA LA *
416
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,310
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED
YOUR DINNER.
417
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:12,514
OH, OKAY.
I'LL GET IT.
NO.
418
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,705
DON'T YOU DARE!
DON'T BE SILLY.
419
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,076
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
NO, HERE'S--
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
420
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:15,875
YOU LEAVE IT.
I HAVE MY OWN.
421
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,275
LEAVE IT DOWN THERE.
DON'T YOU DARE.
422
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,447
LEAVE IT DOWN THERE.
THAT'S CRAZY.
423
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,045
BIG GOLD-GOLD.
LEONARD.
424
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:21,317
LEONARD.
(chuckles)
425
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,564
OH, BUT, UH--
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
426
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,089
THANK YOU.
SHOO-SHOO-SHOO.
427
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,094
YOU SHOULDN'T A
DONE THAT.
428
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,085
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
429
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,256
YOU KNOW,
WE COULDA SPLIT IT.
430
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,734
LET'S HAVE SEX
IN THE ALLEYWAY
431
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,301
BEHIND THE RESTAURANT.
432
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:34,001
WHAT?
433
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,004
WHEN?
434
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,495
NOW-- RIGHT NOW.
435
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,666
PUBLIC SEX IS THRILLING.
436
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,265
YOU KNOW, IT'S
THE POSSIBILITY
437
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:44,137
OF BEING SEEN,
BEING CAUGHT.
438
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:45,677
AHH.
439
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,752
UH, LEONARD--
440
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,580
(chuckles)
441
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,746
TH-TH-THIS IS ALL
MOVING A BIT TOO FAST.
442
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,124
NO.
443
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:54,253
LOOK, I TALK
A BIG GAME,
444
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,257
BUT I-I'M SLIGHTLY
MORE CONSERVATIVE
445
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,489
THAN I MAKE
MYSELF OUT TO BE.
446
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:01,385
D-DON'T GET ME WRONG.
ONCE YOU PENETRATE ME,
447
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,558
MY VAGINA'S BUILT-IN
LOCKING MECHANISM
448
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,696
WILL ACTIVATE, AND YOU
WILL COME BUCKETS.
449
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,003
OH, UH, THAT'S--
450
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,165
BUT, BEFORE WE GET
TO THE PART
451
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,702
WHERE I EAT YOUR ASS OUT
RIGHT SIDE UP--
452
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,307
YEAH.
453
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:15,039
I'D REALLY LIKE TO GET
TO KNOW YOU BETTER.
454
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:17,775
UH-HUH.
455
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,650
WHY DID I JUST BUY
ALL THIS FOOD,
456
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,349
AND THOSE DRINKS, AND--
457
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,481
WELL, LEONARD,
I-I-I OFFERED TO PAY.
SHTUP ME.
458
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,186
SHTUP ME, NOW.
459
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,488
GIGI, SHTUP ME.
460
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,089
LEONARD!
461
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,491
(gasping)
462
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,722
(crying)
463
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:42,644
**
464
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,599
(Ricky)
THANK YOU.
(Sarah)
OH, THANKS.
465
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:48,407
I LOVE FRENCH FRIES.
466
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,141
YOU KNOW, IS THAT A--
DO YOU HAVE A TATTOO?
467
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,248
MMM.
468
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:53,309
YEAH, HAVE YOU
NOT SEEN IT YET?
469
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,116
NO.
470
00:16:57,217 --> 00:17:01,187
**
471
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:03,061
IT'S PRETTY, ISN'T IT?
472
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:06,290
THAT'S, UM--
473
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:07,626
YOU HAVE A--
474
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,760
SOME PEOPLE CALL IT
A SYMBOL OF PURITY.
475
00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:12,596
UM, IT CAN MEAN CLEANSING.
476
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:15,272
UM, I LOVE IT.
477
00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:19,405
YOU KNOW, RICKY,
I REALLY DON'T WANT THIS
478
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:21,139
TO EVER END.
479
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,484
I WANT THIS TO KEEP GOING,
AND THERE'S--
480
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,550
THERE'S A WAY
TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
481
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,608
LISTEN UP, CHARLIE BROWN.
LISTEN GOOD.
482
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,347
YOU STEAL
THE OLD JEW'S MONEY, OKAY?
483
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,822
DEPLETE HER ENTIRE
BANK ACCOUNT.
484
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,750
YOU AND I LEAVE THE U.S.
BEFORE SHE REALIZES.
485
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,515
YOU GO TO A SMALL
SOUTH PACIFIC ISLAND.
486
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,464
WE CULTIVATE COCAINE.
WE SELL IT OFFSHORE.
487
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,759
YOU AND I HAVE ENDLESS SEX
REPLETE WITH LOTS OF ORGASMS.
488
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,492
YOU GET ME?
489
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,296
DO YOU WANT ANOTHER FRY?
490
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:56,379
**
491
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,845
I'LL HAVE A GLASS
OF CHARDONNAY.
492
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,324
THANK YOU.
493
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:07,893
THANK YOU FOR
MEETING ME.
494
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,490
YEAH, NO PROBLEM.
495
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:10,662
I COULD USE
ANOTHER DRINK.
496
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:13,130
IT'S BEEN
A ROUGH NIGHT.
497
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,860
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT
SHE WAS THE ONE.
498
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,734
(chuckles)
SO STUPID.
499
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,603
(Gigi)
WELL, I'M SORRY IT
DIDN'T WORK OUT.
500
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,371
WHAT WAS
THE DEAL BREAKER?
501
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,330
(chuckles)
502
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:23,368
WELL, IT-IT-IT TURNS OUT
IT WA-WASN'T EVEN HER.
503
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:24,703
IT WAS ME.
504
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:27,837
I'M NOT READY FOR
AN ADULT RELATIONSHIP.
505
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:30,584
IT'S PETER PAN
SYNDROME OR--
506
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,350
MAYBE I'M JUST NOT MEANT
FOR A WOMAN.
507
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:34,279
I'VE BEEN SAYING
THAT ALL ALONG.
508
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,324
(laughing)
509
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,749
I'M NOT GAY.
510
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:41,524
(sighs)
511
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,894
HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT?
512
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:46,293
OH, NOT MUCH
TO TALK ABOUT.
513
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,296
(Gigi)
TURNS OUT, UH,
I DON'T PUT OUT,
514
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,698
SO I DIDN'T GET
ANY ACTION.
515
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,629
YOU GOTTA EARN THIS PUSSY.
516
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:55,704
I'M SORRY, BUT YOU
HAVE TO EARN THIS PUSSY.
517
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,465
(sighs)
518
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,268
I NEVER MOURNED HIM.
519
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,207
YOU KNOW, NOT PROPERLY.
520
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:03,542
WHO? HAROLD?
521
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,706
NO, OMAR SHARIF.
YES, HAROLD.
522
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,745
I NEVER MOURNED
HIS DEATH.
523
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,420
UH, YOU KNOW,
THE MONEY BLINDED ME,
524
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,819
AND MY LIFE JUST
BEGAN MOVING SO FAST.
525
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,252
(Ricky)
YEAH.
526
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:15,557
WELL, MAYBE THAT'S
WHAT HE WANTED.
527
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:16,658
YOU KNOW, HE PROBABLY
DIDN'T EVEN WANT YOU
528
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,729
TO MOURN FOR VERY LONG.
529
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,428
HE PROBABLY WANTED
YOU TO JUST--
530
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,730
JUST BE HAPPY.
531
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,662
(scoffs)
532
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,897
HEY, HEY, HEY,
LOOK AT THIS SHIT.
533
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,704
(Ricky)
CAN YOU BELIEVE?
534
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:32,366
(laughing)
535
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,765
(scoffs)
536
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:37,177
(indistinct chatter)
537
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:46,685
* LET'S MARVIN GAYE
AND GET IT ON *
538
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:49,259
* YOU GOT THE HEALING
THAT I WANT *
539
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,219
NO.
NO.
540
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:52,528
NO.
541
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,789
COME ON.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
542
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,533
(Gigi)
SO, JUMPING INTO
THE DATING WORLD
543
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,895
HAS TAUGHT ME
A VALUABLE LESSON.
544
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:04,273
A NICE PAIR OF BUBBIES
AND A LOTTA MONEY
545
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:06,644
DOES NOT GUARANTEE LOVE.
546
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:11,283
TRUE COMPANIONSHIP TAKES
GENUINE EFFORT AND TIME.
547
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,951
BUT, FOR THOSE OF US
IN OUR GOLDEN YEARS,
548
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:17,380
WE DON'T HAVE A LOTTA
TIME TO WASTE.
549
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,617
HI, HOW ARE YOU?
550
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:22,562
(Gigi)
SO, I'M GONNA STOP
WASTING MY PRECIOUS TIME
551
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,689
LOOKING FOR MR. RIGHT.
552
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:25,894
WHY?
553
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:29,325
BECAUSE I FOUND
MRS. RIGHT, RIGHT HERE.
554
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:32,002
OH, MITT ROMNEY,
YOU'RE SO HANDSOME.
555
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:33,531
YOU KNOW THAT?
556
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,266
OH, RONALD REAGAN.
557
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:37,942
OH, YOUR HAIR
WAS ALWAYS PERFECT.
558
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,910
OH, WALTER MONDALE.
559
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,909
OH, HOW SWEET
YOU WERE, WALTER.
560
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,041
(Gigi)
THINK ABOUT IT.
561
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,675
WHO MAKES ME
LAUGH THE MOST?
562
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:45,951
ME.
563
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:47,408
WHO MAKES ME HAPPIEST?
ME.
564
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:48,847
WHO MAKES ME FEEL LIKE
THE MOST BAD-ASS
565
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,421
JEWISH GRANDMA
THAT EVER LIVED?
566
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:51,580
ME.
567
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,588
SO, YOU WANNA KNOW
WHAT I WANT OUTTA LIFE?
568
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,990
THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE.
569
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:58,592
(panting)
570
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:02,795
ME, MYSELF,
AND $6.2 MILLION, BABY.
571
00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:04,599
(laughs)
NOW, (bleep) OFF.
572
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,071
MYSELF WANTS
TO HAVE SEX WITH ME,
573
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,798
AND I WANNA WATCH.
574
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:10,474
(snoring)
38705
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