Original subtitles

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(gentle instrumental music)

(gentle instrumental music continues)

- [Narrator] The air was still in Quetta

tucked away in the North West corner of India.

The skies were blue

and the trees were laden heavy with fruit.

But inside the house, a storm was brewing.

My 15 year old mother Sita

prepared to meet her prospective husband.

My father Pran.

- Pran is a very good man.

You're a very lucky girl,

to be linked to such an eligible man.

- Is she ready yet? - [Woman] Almost Tessie.

- He's almost here.

- [Woman] We are almost ready, I say.

- [Woman] You always call father I say?

Never by his name?

- Yes, I know.

- [Sita] Why? - Tradition.

- Tradition? - Because it is bad luck

to call your spouse by his name.

You shorten his life.

Remember be demure, be respectful, look down at his feet

and don't speak unless

you are specifically addressed, understood?

- Yes, you assume to believe I'm a mute.

- Don't you worry, your father and I

will answer for you, it is

- [In Unison] Tradition.

(door knocking)

- They're here, God held this child today.

(gentle instrumental music)

- May I play as well?

- I know she may not be sophisticated enough for you

but I assure you she will mature

and do a most suitable life.

- On the contrary G I find myself quite taken by her.

Is there something you wish to ask me?

- I do not know what I'm allowed to ask.

- Anything, you can always ask me anything.

(gentle instrumental music)

- Do not be afraid.

- Who are you?

- For this life is not for you.

Soon you shall find liberation.

Just follow your heart.

This book will be a guide in the path.

(gentle instrumental music)

- Good morning Jar

(dramatic instrumental music)

- [Narrator] After my father died unexpectedly,

my mother Sita was welcomed by her mother-in-law Amma

into the home

and was given the status of a daughter

and not a daughter-in-law.

This was very unusual at a time

when widows were looked upon

as invisible and shunned from society.

I was told it was the greatest dawn

that broke the day I was born.

All the birds sang in harmony.

I was named Indira.

For 16 years, I was loved and raised by my mother Sita

and grand mother Amma, as I was the center of their world.

And they were of mine.

- My darling welcome home.

- [Narrator] I was now a 16 year old girl

and my darling mother Sita

was no longer the young innocent child bride who bore me,

but a older, wiser and still lovely woman.

- I'm so very happy but so anxious.

We will not be ready in time to receive them.

- Why, when are they coming?

- Indira my child,

have you heard the good news about tonight?

- Tonight? - You were barely talking

when you saw them last.

I doubt you remember them at all.

- I'm sorry I don't remember,

but this is wonderful news.

It will be the most memorable Diwali.

- Yes, it shall.

- [Narrator] Amma was the matriarch of our family

and empowered both my mother Sita and me

with so much love that we were truly happy.

- Indira, go, hurry.

(door creaking)

- [Narrator] After 14 years away,

my father's elder brother, Dev

his wife Masumi and son Gautam,

were coming from Rawalpindi to join us

for the start of the Diwali celebrations.

After my father had died

they had lived with us for a few years to help us out.

- Sita, darling, you look lovely as always.

- [Woman] Nicely done.

(Mumbled speaking)

- Indira, why you have grown so beautiful.

- Gautam, this is your aunt Sita.

(speaking in Hindi)

- And Indira, this is your cousin Gautam.

(woman laughing)

Isn't she beautiful?

The house looks lovely.

- [Sita] Thank you so much.

- We're so excited about Diwali.

- Ma'ji, I missed you.

- I have missed you too my son.

- [Narrator] I sometimes wondered why uncle Dev

had not come to meet his mother Amma in so long.

- Come, see Gautam.

(phone ringing)

- Memsaab - [In Unison] Yes.

- Yes, what is it?

- A message from the Dewan family.

Their son Amar will be delighted to join you

for the Diwali festival and meet Indira.

(gentle instrumental music)

(upbeat instrumental music)

- [Narrator] Amar was the only son of the Dewan family.

His family had a very successful sugar mill business

uncle Dev and Amar's father had formerly been partners.

According to Amma, I was now a young woman

and he was the most eligible bachelor in all of Quetta.

She prayed he might fancy me,

telling me how excellent it would be if he did.

And what if I did not fancy him?

- This, is Indira.

(gentle instrumental music)

(muffled speaking)

- I find every time that I see you,

Sumi.

- Amar, Indira.

- Yes now look at me,

in the company of two such beautiful women.

And to see you Indira all grown up, I'm truly happy.

And you, Indira, what makes you happy?

- I don't know.

I'm happy with Ma and Amma, and our little world.

- There's so much more beyond that.

A world filled with happiness that is yet to be known.

(fireworks rupturing)

- Let's watch the fireworks. - Yes.

Good night little one,

we'll have plenty of time to talk together, come, come.

(fireworks rupturing)

(gentle instrumental music)

- Well, Amar, he seemed to really like you.

- I hardly spoke to him.

- Did you think he was nice?

- He was very pleasant.

Perhaps you should ask Masumi they did most of the talking.

- That is quite enough of that talk.

- He know nothing about me.

- You didn't say anything.

How could he possibly learn anything about you?

- You will continue getting to know one another.

- I'm glad you have all settled it for me.

Perhaps Masumi should just go and report back

on how my engagement is progressing.

- Apologize at once to me and to Masumi,

you will not speak to your elders in such a manner.

- I'm sorry. - Be dressed in an hour.

(door creaking)

- Gautam - I'm sorry for startling you,

but I needed to speak to you

when no one will over hear me.

- Of course, what is it?

- Do not marry Amar.

- What, we just met, there is nothing.

- There will be.

Listen to me, do not marry Amar

he is not who you think he is.

- And what business is it of yours whomever I marry?

(gentle instrumental music)

- You look lovely.

- Yes, but why the dark sari?

You should wear something bright,

that makes you look like flower.

Your orange or pink. - [Sita] Amma.

- But if she wants to wear this, we will let her be.

- Darling you look beautiful.

(door creaking)

- Amar, Come sit.

- Yes, Amma.

Indira, you look lovely, Sita.

- Hello Dev, why the long face?

- Where is Masumi?

- [Man] Ah - What a beautiful sari.

- I thought this day warranted it.

- It is, bright.

- You look lovely. - Thank you.

Come Gautam, pita join us, come.

- [Amar] Hello Gautam.

- Why so solemn?

Are you upset that father is leaving us tomorrow?

Oh, is it so freedom to stay with me?

- You are leaving?

- Yes, I have a minor land dispute.

And as with any dispute with the British

it may become major, if I do not return to resolve it.

- He shall return soon enough,

but business takes precedence.

Nothing to say huh?

- Ah Sumi, let him be.

- I'm sure handsome young man, like Gautam

probably has his head in the clouds

over some young girl, yeah?

- Yes, you're right, I do,

pardon me? - [Dev] Gautum.

- [Amar] What, that's it? - Gautum.

I need you to go to town, to shop for my trip tomorrow.

Shops will be closing.

- Amaji, Sita, goodbye Amar.

- Goodbye Masumi.

(gentle instrumental music)

- No you did not.

- No it's a true story, the cobra.

Do you want to travel?

- No I don't think so.

No. - [Amar] No, why?

There's so much out there?

- I know but, I'm very happy here.

- There's a whole world out there.

- [Indira] I know. - Let me ask you this

I heard you sing.

Yes, I heard you, I heard you sing.

What do you sing?

Can you sing me a little bit?

- No, no, no I can't.

- [Amar] Very little, what do you mean?

- No, no I can't.

- [Amar] I want to hear.

Are you shy?

(gentle instrumental music)

(indistinct speaking)

- Well, there's my car.

Do you want to join the others?

I can drive you myself?

- No thank you amaji,

I will have the driver take me.

- As you wish.

I had a lovely day today, Indira,

I hope you had so as well.

- I did, thank you.

- I will tell my parents how wonderful today went.

- I will tell Ma and Amma the same.

- I'm happy to hear that.

I really look forward to many of these days

together with you.

(gentle instrumental music)

(indistinct speaking)

- Cause I miss you Sita, I will come back

and we will be together again.

- Don't worry over me please.

(indistinct mumbling)

(gentle instrumental music)

- I cannot believe it, praise God.

I have just gotten off the phone with Amar's father

and Amar has asked for your hand in marriage.

This is so exciting.

Amar is as perfect as any one can be.

And we shall move forward quickly.

Also, they have sent for Swamiji Manu

to come from his ashram in the mountains

to bless this union.

(crockery shaking)

- I think I could begin to set my clock by those.

- [Woman] You should see how talented she is,

she can sing like a whale.

- Ancheta, we would love to hear her.

- Amma may I?

it looks quite heavy, the tray.

We can all help ourselves.

- No thank you, Amar, please.

Indira is well-trained in household duties.

(intense instrumental music)

- What happened, huh?

(incessant sobbing)

(intense instrumental music)

- She'll be okay, she just needs a moment.

- We are so pleased to welcome you into our family

my lovely girl.

- And rest assured Indira,

the servants will handle all the tea services for us.

- [Woman] I cannot wait.

- Indira, a moment.

Behave yourself, huh.

Okay, good day my jaan.

(gentle instrumental music)

(door creaking)

(gentle instrumental music)

- [Narrator] I thought he looked like a peaceful child.

Beautiful and handsome.

I knew I loved him.

In that moment, I realized

that I would never fully be Amar's.

I felt empowered by knowing this

but also a crippling sadness.

- Come here Indira.

(intense instrumental music)

- Please Masummaji, what do you want?

- All I have ever wanted is to be with Amar.

To find some happiness,

marry Amar. - What?

- Marry him, but refuse him.

Be uninterested, he is a proud man.

And he will leave you alone.

His wounded pride will bring him to me.

(dramatic instrumental music)

- [Narrator] Manu, I'd only heard stories

that bordered on myths.

The great Swami who meditated in solitude

in the Himalayas for 12 years

was coming to bless my marriage to Amar.

I was happy thinking that maybe

he could help me settle my turmoil.

I'd heard that he could move mountains

nothing being out of the realm of his power.

(upbeat instrumental music)

(upbeat instrumental music continues)

- High up in the mountains,

the air and your thoughts

they're at their purest.

If there only by nature,

there is no malice, temptation, corruption or greed.

There's only survival in the,

in the cold and the loneliness that surrounds you.

And then slowly, oh so slowly,

your mind and your body, they settle themselves.

The chaos and your thoughts comes together

into a new order and you make sense of them all.

- [Narrator] As he stared at me,

I felt naked and bare as Draupadi before the court.

And he was unwrapping my sari.

He was seeing deep into my soul.

- My child, do you wish me to leave?

If I were to go, your chaos would remain.

- I know Swamji.

- So then you wish?

- Stay, please.

- How can I refuse such a gracious request?

Oh, I wish to speak on love.

Gautam. - Ji

- I wish for you to speak on love.

(speaking in foreign language)

- How can I?

Who I've had no knowledge of love

or experience of it?

- Yes, you, my son.

You will address the elders in this room

and helped them to determine the difference

between real love,

the heart's true love,

and this love that is merely an illusion.

- Love is pain.

It is only sacrifice, without pleasure.

(crowd mumbling)

- [Masumi] I'm not sure one or two days at most.

- It will take you that long?

- I never know with the British.

(crowd mumbling)

- Panha, cheer up, it's a wedding.

(furniture rambling)

- Hopefully in one or two days,

I mean, we hope.

(muffled speaking)

But you never know, with him, I mean,

sometimes it could be weeks.

- Grit your teeth, fin a smile, good girl.

(crowd shouting)

- Jai Guru, Jai Guru.

- Jai Guru - Jai Guru

- Jai Guru. - Swamiji has asked for you,

he wants a private session with you.

- Jao.

- [Woman] That's nice.

- [Man] That's really nice.

- [Woman] Its too much.

- [Narrator] The air became filled

with the smell of incense and Marigold.

What would he ask me?

What would I tell?

If he was truly gifted

it would not matter anyway.

(door creaking)

- Come in Indira.

(gentle instrumental music)

Look into my eyes.

See what I see.

See your future.

- Please Manuji,

I do not want. - Look.

(dramatic instrumental music)

No, stop.

Take this I mixed it, especially for you.

- What am I to do with it?

- Tonight you put it into your Amma's tea

and when she dreams,

she will see the light.

And your future will change.

- Swamiji you know.

- This is your darshan.

Believe in it, it will work.

- Thank you Swamiji

(gentle instrumental music)

- [Woman] Amma!

- [Narrator] I remembered the vial.

And then I knew that the scream

which had awoken me was my own.

We were all shaken by Amma's disappearance.

A search of the house and grounds had come up empty.

Where had she gone?

What had I done?

I couldn't make sense of it.

What was real?

What was unreal?

I didn't know.

I decided in my mind

that Amma had gone somewhere only to return later.

This was the only way I was able to cope.

- I'm so sorry Indira, she was such a brave woman.

When I heard what happened, I thought only of you

and that I needed to be here with you.

- Thank you for coming.

- I've asked to stay the rest of the night.

- Thank you amaji, you bring tremendous relief.

- I expect a devoted wife, and faithful.

- I shall be.

- Do you think I'm a fool?

I was prepared to ignore your childish infatuation,

but I can not tolerate it any longer

nor bare the risk of any humiliation.

Have I made myself clear?

Indira, have I made myself

- Yes. - Do not force me

to do anything that you and Gautum will regret.

You're my responsibility jaan,

I will do anything to protect you.

To protect what is mine, no?

- My darling. - I am so frightened for Amma.

- You both must be brave.

My child, it is all right.

- I can not do any of this.

I do not love him.

Help me Ma please,

I can not do any of this.

- Pull yourself together, Indira,

you are not weak.

He only wants to do what is right.

And so should you.

- You cannot be his.

- What are we to do?

- We must go my love. - But where?

- Pack your things, quickly and quietly.

Let no ne know.

Do you trust me?

- Yes, my jaan, I do.

(upbeat instrumental music)

- Where do we go from here?

- Don't worry, you are my responsibility now.

I will take care of everything.

(gentle instrumental music)

(gentle instrumental music continues)

- [Gautam] Good morning my love.

- Good morning, are you leaving?

- Yes, I will return later.

I have had some food set up for you.

- Can I come with you?

- No, stay here.

We don't wanna draw too much attention

to ourselves together.

I need to arrange our next steps.

- But I want to come with you and to help.

- Stay, I will take care of everything.

- I don't want to be trapped here alone.

- And don't argue with me.

I expect you to listen and do as I say, please,

stay here to eat something.

I will return shortly. - Okay.

(gentle instrumental music)

- Do not be afraid Indira.

- Who are you?

How do you know my name?

- I know many things, many things about you.

Many things about your life and your future.

I've come to warn you what lies ahead.

You are chosen, come with me.

- Where? - To Amma.

(gentle instrumental music)

- Indira, your life is not here in the shadows,

hiding in fear.

- No, I'm not hiding. - You are.

You have run from that, which you must face.

Go, face your fears, move beyond them.

Unlock my secret, set it free.

- We need to be leaving,

they're bound to be looking for us, let's go.

- I can not go.

- My jaan, please, please, we have to go.

- This is not right.

What we are doing is not right.

- It is right.

It is wrong for us to be apart.

And this is the only way for us to be together.

- Then being together is wrong.

It's wrong to run and hide.

The life Amma would want for me,

for the both of us is,

it's not hiding in the shadows.

There is more than that.

- There's only pain and separation.

- Take me home, please.

(gentle instrumental music)

- If that's what you want,

we shall go back and face our consequences.

(gentle instrumental music)

My jaan, I'm not returning with you.

You have made your decision: family and duty.

If I'm there that will not be possible.

(gentle instrumental music)

(door creaking)

- Amar has proposed a date for the wedding, next Sunday.

I accepted on your behalf.

This is how it shall be.

The sooner you accept it

the easier it shall be to live with ease and dignity.

I shall contact Swamiji and prepare for a small wedding.

It is as Amar would want.

- You have taken all the men that I love away from me.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- You are a witch.

- [Narrator] The days passed slowly and in silence.

I waited for word from Gautam, but none came.

I expected a visit from Amar before the wedding

but he remained noticeably absent.

Uncle Dev returned to help us prepare for the wedding

and to run the house in Amma's absence.

(gentle instrumental music)

(gentle instrumental music continues)

He looked different, younger maybe.

He seemed to glow.

He felt an exhilaration, as I approached him.

- Welcome my child.

- [Narrator] I could feel his power

emanating to the earth beneath my feet.

If there was a way Swamiji would guide me,

he could shape destinies.

And I prayed that he would shape mine.

- So much more to do, so far we must go.

Welcome, come my dear, come, sit by me.

I wish to reiterate my great joy in this wonderful union

and to inform you,

I plan to stay for the entire week

to support in whatever way I can,

especially for you Sita.

With Amma's absence.

- Thank you Swamiji. - Of course.

She is well and searching.

These griefs and the pleasures of earthly attachments

they're shackles, and we must let them go.

It is the only way for us to achieve freedom.

Detachment is liberation, believe me.

There is no exception on this path.

Only the one true pursuit of truth and the Lord Krishna.

It is your only way to truly achieve freedom.

Where's Masumi, where's your wife?

Where's my child?

- I do not know Swamiji.

- Bring her to me.

- I will go get her.

- Well then, we will meditate,

while Amar brings Masumi to us, om

- [In Unison] Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya

Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya.

Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya.

Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya.

Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya.

- Come, come to me my dear child.

The worst is over.

You can see your future.

Can you not? - Yes, I do Swamiji.

- Things will resolve themselves my child,

you shall see.

Lord Krishna's will shall be done.

(inconsolable sobbing)

Amar please.

- [Narrator] watching Amar with Masumi,

made me feel something I'd never expected to feel, jealousy.

My jealousy done towards anger at myself

for my own hypocrisy.

- I want you to close your eyes, all of you.

Allow your minds to wander,

allow them to wander freely

to the full extent of their ability.

I will be here.

I will watch.

I will listen to your thoughts.

Om - [In Unison] Om, Om.

- [Narrator] My mind wandered until finally I saw myself

lying in the grass looking up at a perfect blue sky.

No clouds, only shades of blue.

- [Family] Shanti, shanti - Welcome, my son.

- You've come back to me.

- My son Gautum has returned home.

One of my children is soon to be wed,

let us all go to bed with these happy thoughts.

Your destiny is set little one.

You have no choice in these matters,

in these events, it's all written,

but have no fear.

The near future will soon become the distant past,

these events, they are not the end.

Just the beginning.

Focus on the green grass.

Or the cloudless clear blue sky.

- Indira

Why did you leave me?

How could you leave me?

- I had to,

you would not leave with me.

and I could not come here with you.

I missed you.

- Swamiji will help us.

- Swamiji is here for the wedding.

- No he is not only here for that.

- He's here to ensure the wedding takes place,

and it shall.

I love you.

But I cannot go against my Guru.

- After all this time, you're finally here.

And yet you are still helpless.

But I'm not any longer.

(dramatic instrumental music)

Amma.

(door creaking)

- I know you are plagued by questions.

- I am Mamaji.

- I grew old keeping secrets, shackled by fear.

- I want to face my fears.

I want to know who I am.

- You are Draupadi unbound and unleashed.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Don't you know?

Go, they're looking for you.

- Where have you been?

- I was looking for you.

- Swamiji wants a private darshan with you.

- [Narrator] As I walked towards him

thoughts that had been racing, ceased

and centered only on Swamiji.

- Come in my child.

I know you think that I have deserted you, but I have not.

I'm rescuing you from this house

filled with secrets and lies.

Your wedding will be your first true taste of freedom.

- How can you call it freedom?

- Because it is change.

And by it, you will remove one set of shackles

and you need not replace them with another.

You're not born slaves.

You must trust me Indira,

believe, rejoice in your wedding.

- I can't do this.

- Of course you can.

You are already on your path.

I see it.

And I will do everything I can to keep you there.

You will see, it will all become clear.

Now go, prepare for your wedding.

And your new life.

- It is a simple wedding.

I think you should wear your hair loose today.

That would be the best.

- As you say, Ma.

- You are ready my child.

- Tell me I'm going to be happy, Ma.

- You will find happiness.

You will learn as I did.

(gentle instrumental music)

(upbeat instrumental music)

(upbeat instrumental music continues)

(car engine roaring)

(speaking in foreign language)

- Welcome.

(gentle instrumental music)

- This way my jaan.

(doors closing)

Do you like it?

- Yes, it's very nice.

- I put your vanity there,

but if you want to move it,

you can have one of the servants

move it wherever you'd like. - Thank you.

- You must be tired.

You should get some rest.

I'll see you in the morning, yeah.

(gentle instrumental music)

(speaking in foreign language)

(dramatic instrumental music)

- Mamaji.

(water in a pipe bubbling)

- Hello biti, come sit.

- I was looking for you.

I'm glad you're all right.

- Why wouldn't I be?

(dramatic instrumental music)

- [Narrator] I entered my marriage with guilt and secrets

almost too heavy to bear.

I no longer felt burdened.

(indistinct speaking)

- Hello my dear.

You don't look happy to see me.

- Not at all dear, I am delighted.

- Are you? - Of course.

- Show me, show me you're delighted, go on.

I was just joking,

jaan, where's Ma?

- In her room as you left her.

Shall I go and bring her down?

- Is she able?

- I will go and see.

(gentle instrumental music)

- Masumji, play something a little less melancholy?

I don't have the energy to drive you home myself.

I can have the driver take you or you can stay, if you want.

Whichever you'd prefer.

- I prefer to stay.

- Okay my jaan, let's retire to bed, come on, come.

(gentle piano playing)

- [Narrator] As I walked to Mohiniji's room,

I thought of Amma and my mother.

I imagined them each in my shoes and I in theirs.

- Good morning Ma'ji,

Ma'ji, it's time to wake up and eat something.

- I am not hungry, Indira.

- None of that.

You must Wake up and join me outside for tea and breakfast.

(gentle instrumental music)

Come on.

Thank you.

(gentle instrumental music)

- Ma'ji, where is Amaji's father?

- He is hardly ever here.

He mainly stays in the city house

and no one is here usually

except for me and the servants, and now you.

(muffled speaking)

- Good morning Amaji.

- Did you sleep well?

- I did thank you.

I'm happy to have you home again.

- You are as am I.

I travel again for a few days.

I would like to go for a drive today

to buy some flowers for the house.

- [Amar] We could do that. - Thank you.

I will go get ready after breakfast.

I have not been outside of this house

since I first got here.

- Why would you have to?

Where would you you go?

- Am I not a good and dutiful wife to you?

- Don't be stupid.

And don't mistake me as stupid either.

- I wouldn't and I don't.

- You have before, haven't you?

And it is important that you are dutiful

and if you're not, you'll be corrected.

- Do you intend to correct your own behavior?

- How dare you?

You insinuate my character.

You of all people who behaved so wantonly

before our marriage.

Ma tell her to go pick flowers in the garden.

There's no reason for her to leave.

- As you wish.

I do not intend to impose upon your time any further.

- Then don't. - Excuse me.

(gentle instrumental music)

- There will be a car waiting for you tonight.

The driver will take you where you wish.

- What do you mean?

- We are not born slaves.

Tonight, the choice is yours,

if you wish to remain one.

- Why are you doing this?

- If I can free you,

I will have done my piece on this earth.

- You don't get to walk away from me like that,

no, no, absolutely not.

I'm not going anywhere.

- Masumi. - You don't get to send me off

with a servant, I'm here.

- [Amar] Stop, just stop.

Stop it, go on, leave.

- Stop, look at me and tell me to go.

Look at me, look at me in the eye and tell me to go.

- I want you to go, I want

- I am not going anywhere.

- [Amar] Stop it - [Masumi] No, I'm not

going anywhere - [Amar] Stop it.

- I'm not going anywhere.

You cannot make me, whatever this is, stop it.

Don't come, stop that, stop it.

- [Amar] I want you to go, do you understand me?

- [Masumi] Stop that, stop it.

- [Amar] Shut up. - [Masumi] I'm not

making any noise.

- I'm not in love with you.

(gentle instrumental music)

(door closing)

(dramatic instrumental music)

(heavy breathing)

(loud screaming)

- Masumi, Masumi, Masumi, Masumi, Masumi, Masumi, Masumi.

(dramatic instrumental music)

my jaan wake up, wake up, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

Jaan, jaan, jaan, Masumi, Masumi.

(gentle instrumental music)

Ma, we must call father,

please Ma, call father, Ma.

Indira please, tell Ma to call father.

(gentle instrumental music)

- Take me home.

- [Narrator] Wife and daughter no longer meant anything.

Whatever duty I had once bore to Amar

had died with Masumi.

(gentle instrumental music)

The house was like a ghost ship.

The garden was overgrown.

A layer of dust sat on all the furniture.

There was no life anywhere.

No Ma, no Amma, I knew now that my whole life had changed.

I have to simply move on.

(dramatic instrumental music)

- You'll receive your darshan from Indira today.

She's my special child.

(upbeat instrumental music)

- Let me see you.

You have been through so much.

- I'm here now Swamiji. - Yes.

- Swamiji, I would like you to answer me a question.

- Of course my child, whatever you wish.

- Where is Amma?

Please tell me.

- Tonight, you will have your answer, when I return.

- Promise me you will answer my question tonight.

- The only promises I make

are to the Lord Krishna, be patient.

- [Narrator] In the Mahabharat, Draupadi was married

to the five band of princes.

She was shared equally by them all.

Lost on a bet of in a game of dice to a rival karovke

Draupadi was dragged before the court

to be disrobed of her sari.

She prayed to Lord Krishna who intervened

and made her sari endless.

- Hello Swamiji.

High up in the mountains here, you called to me.

You weren't ready then, but,

- I don't understand.

- But I still, still came to you.

To see you.

You're lost, I see.

My dear, you have to trust me.

All of this that you've been going through,

all this pain and this suffering,

it's all to prepare you.

This is your destiny.

- What are you saying?

- That I,

you're ready now.

My love for you is,

it's almost divine.

And I wanted nothing more than for you to

be able to love freely.

Make your own choice.

And now you have.

- No.

Do you not see what I've done for you?

How I've compromised myself?

Do you not see the lives that I have broken for you?

Gautam, Masumi, Amma.

- Where is Amma? - She's dead.

- What no you know where Amma is,

you know she's not dead.

- Of course she is my dear.

You poisoned her.

- Swamiji, please, where is Amma.

- Enough, I've answered you twice already, she's dead.

We went through her jodha together.

I personally lit her fire.

- No. - Yes, yes.

And this path to freedom,

this path to me, our path together

it all began with that bottle.

- How could you?

- What have I done,

my dear, please, please.

Indira my love, I'm sorry you've

(muffled speaking)

- No. - Please don't go.

- No. - Don't go, please, don't go.

(gentle instrumental music)

- Amma we need to leave, I will take you home.

- I am home.

- No Amma we need to leave now.

(gentle instrumental music)

How could you leave me, me and Ma?

- I would never leave you.

You are free now,

just as she is free to love what I could not allow before.

I am free now too.

- [Indira] Promise me, you will never leave me again.

- [Amma] I never did.

- Amma! Amma!

(dramatic instrumental music)

- [Narrator] One day I shall tell you a story

about real love and the price you pay for it.

Slowly my body and mind settled,

the chaos of my thoughts collected themselves

into a new order and I made sense of them all.

I was free.

Free at last, nobody could hurt me now, nobody.