Original subtitles

Welcome to St. Cedd's Institute of Science and Technology.

Not only are all things interconnected,

but the connections between cause and effect

are often more complex and subtle

than we might naturally suppose.

But you, Dirk, have taken the interconnectedness of all things

and applied them to the social world.

Your holistic detective agency is a breakthrough

in applied quantum mechanics.

Any innovation on my part is entirely down to your influence,

Professor.

You're too kind.

I didn't dare to dream that I would ever return in triumph,

my head held high.

I don't think anyone did, Dirk,

after what happened.

Gentlemen, David Cho.

Dirk Gently and Richard...

- Richard MacDuff, partner. - Assistant.

Dirk is an alumnus of this department

and our new security consultant.

Holistic Security Consultant.

We prevent the whole crime, thwart the entire espionage.

David has flown all the way from Beijing

to help solve some of our programming issues.

- Hi. - The boy's a genius.

Working closely with Dr. Emelda Ransome.

She and her team are engaged

in the creation of a fully autonomous

artificial intelligence.

They've named him Max.

It's a totally new approach to artificial intelligence,

modeled on the brain's synaptic patterns.

Once the learning protocol for the neural net is alive,

Max will teach himself,

becoming a thousand times more intelligent than Einstein

in a matter of moments.

Unfortunately, Max has yet to show any sign of life.

And whose fault is that?

And this, gentlemen, is my greatest achievement.

My gynoid.

Elaine's hands are powered by a set of 40 individual muscles.

80 valves control the flow of air into each muscle,

acting on information gathered from 170 joint sensors.

Voice-activated.

Shake hands with our new guests, Elaine.

That is both amazing and frightening.

Elaine.

You named her after your daughter.

A little light out of all that darkness.

Things have certainly changed since you were here, Dirk.

Our recent breakthroughs

are the envy of the scientific community.

Good to have you here, Dirk.

A mind like yours, you belong here.

It was such a shame you couldn't complete your studies.

I see this as an opportunity to redeem myself

after the unfortunate series of events

that led to my expulsion.

You have nothing to redeem yourself for.

And right now, you're the only person I can trust.

Professor Jericho?

I think someone is selling our work.

I have let you down before, Professor.

If there was a God,

which we as men of science surely cannot accept,

I would swear to him that I will not fail you again.

Good man.

Professor Jericho.

Max is alive.

Dr. Ransome, I believe we have been here before.

Max spoke to me.

You have to come and see this. Please.

Will you excuse me, Dirk?

Well, they might have made a robot that can shake hands,

but the coffee hasn't got any better.

What did I miss?

Only the creation of artificial life.

We're going to take advantage of the fact

that the staff and students are away on their summer holidays

to subject the department's physical defenses

to an exacting, empirical test.

It looks pretty secure to me.

Looks can be deceptive.

Dirk!

This is a listed building.

That is no excuse for lax security.

An industrial spy could be through this in a second.

Well, they could now.

This is the student records archive.

This isn't even part

of the Science and Technology Department.

A holistic approach should, by its very definition,

encompass the entire building.

Dirk!

Hey!

Hey!

Shoddy.

Very shoddy.

What exactly are we doing here, Dirk?

I've never believed the excuses the university proffered

for my expulsion.

I thought you got kicked out for cheating.

That is a gross and inaccurate rumor.

Here we are.

Minor misconduct, misconduct,

gross minor misconduct,

minor but gross misconduct.

Here we are. Disciplinary hearing, year 3.

It's gone missing. Someone's removed the file.

Professor?

Where the hell were you?

Elaine's been stolen.

The gynoid. My robot. She's gone.

Well, we've searched the entire department.

It's not here. It's clearly been stolen.

Of course it's been stolen.

Richard MacDuff. Occupation... stating the bloody obvious.

I know you're upset. Don't take it out on me.

Feel better?

No!

What the hell is she doing here?

Hello.

"She"? I do have a name.

- She's got an interview. - "She"?

Susan has got an interview

for running her own practice here in Cambridge.

You know this. We talked about it.

I thought you were joking.

You haven't seen a robot, have you?

A robot?

Yes. She's white, black eyes, about 5'5", strangely erotic.

Answers to the name of Elaine.

No.

This is a disaster!

MacDuff!

I should...

What's going on?

I'll tell you later.

Yes.

You found her?

Not exactly.

Either you have or you haven't.

I would have thought a scientific mind such as your own

would accept there is often a gray area in between.

Where were you, Dirk? Where were you?

We were testing the department's security

on a holistic level.

Could Elaine have just gone off on her own accord?

She's not sentient, you idiot.

She only responds to voice commands.

Well, maybe we should call the police.

- No! - No!

No police. No.

If our funders find out that Elaine's gone,

it'll be the final nail in our coffin.

We're finished.

It was all for nothing.

Professor Jericho, I will find Elaine,

and I shall do so using the theories and methods

that I first learnt within these hallowed walls.

Or... This is just a thought

before anyone shouts at me again...

we could check the security cameras.

I already checked.

He's already checked.

The cameras were down when Elaine was stolen.

Well, that's very convenient, isn't it?

The camera's down at the exact moment the robot was stolen.

I created my own automated security system,

but there were teething problems.

The university's servers got wiped.

MacDuff is right.

We can't discount the convenient timing of this latest fault.

May I ask, who was the last person to see the robot?

That would be me.

Max worked. He spoke to me.

He was alive. And now he's gone.

Unfortunately, we only have your word that Max was alive.

I ran to get Jericho. You saw me.

When I came back here, Elaine had gone.

As I am sure you're aware,

my methods are based

on the interconnectedness of all things.

Of all things?

Surely, quantum interconnectedness

refers to molecular behavior at subatomic level.

On the level of human interaction,

the strands of connectivity would be in their trillions.

Indeed.

So?

So...

Perhaps you can tell me about the security system.

I can tell you that it's as hopeless

as everything else around here.

What is that?

It injects a tiny microchip under the skin,

allowing the carrier to interact and control the building.

E-mail, heating and lighting. Security, too.

If we are to solve this case,

we must become one with the technology that surrounds it.

It does have some side effects.

Side effects?

Migraines, nausea, diarrhea.

Ah! What are you doing?

As I said, being able to interact with the building

could be invaluable for our investigation.

So why didn't you inject yourself, then?

I can hardly be expected to retrieve the robot

while suffering from nausea, migraines, and diarrhea.

MacDuff bravely volunteering to test the chip

can only bring us closer to solving the crime.

Are you all right?

I'll live.

Welcome to St. Cedd's Institute of Science and Technology,

Richard MacDuff.

The chip's activated. Excellent.

To authorize synchronization of your personal e-mail

with the Institute, say "yes."

Say "yes."

No.

Synchronization authorized.

I said no.

To hear e-mail, say "e-mail."

To store e-mail for later attention, say "store."

Store.

I really need to get ready for my interview.

Are you sure you're all right?

First new message.

- I said store. - Shh!

"Hello, Richard, only Mum."

Just a short note to remind you about lunch on Sunday.

Do bring Susan, if you feel you must."

I'll see you later.

No. Susan.

We have to become one with the technology, MacDuff.

Will you get off me, please?

Professor Jericho is depending on us.

I don't care about Professor Jericho right now.

Professor Jericho. Do you want to access e-mails?

We have to find Elaine!

Elaine is gone.

"Elaine." Password correct.

Professor Jericho, you have one new message.

New message.

Jericho...

Elaine.

Susan.

Hey.

I'm sorry.

That's... Don't.

You know my mum. She doesn't mean that.

It's a relief, to be honest.

Now I don't have to feel guilty about not liking her.

You don't like my mother?

Richard, nobody likes your mother.

I suppose she is uniquely unlikable.

Are you going to wish me luck for my interview then?

Yes.

Good luck for your interview.

You don't mean that, do you?

I don't want to move to Cambridge, Susan.

I don't. I really don't.

I'm sorry.

And Dirk and the agency...

You know, I can't just walk away.

Look, ignore me.

Forget... Don't think about that now.

Listen, hey, you might not even get the job.

Thanks.

Good luck.

Elaine.

What is that?

It's part of a lengthy e-mail correspondence

between Professor Jericho and a Chinese gentleman about Elaine.

Do you think he was trying to sell her to the Chinese?

Someone would certainly like us to believe so.

I think I know the professor well enough to see through

such a clumsy attempt at misdirection.

Seems a bit suspicious to me, Dirk.

I just think you should keep an open mind.

You're the one leaping to conclusions, MacDuff, not me.

Oh, God. Is he dead?

Dirk.

Dirk.

You're in shock.

This isn't shock, MacDuff.

This is a grim determination to find whoever did this.

He was the only one who ever believed in me.

We have to call the police.

No, MacDuff.

The professor put his faith in me, and I let him down twice.

I couldn't live with myself if I didn't make amends for that.

Okay.

Keep watch.

Let's go.

We can't just leave him.

We can, and we must.

It's essential we're well clear of the crime scene

before the body is discovered.

Aah!

Police!

I fear that may have made us look extremely guilty.

We should go back and explain. Tell her it wasn't us.

The problem is not that we fled the crime scene.

It's just that we haven't fled it fast enough.

There has been a deficit of fleeing,

which we must rectify immediately.

I'll call Susan and tell her what's happened.

If you must, but I find the truth to be an enemy

in all successful relationships.

Of course you do.

That's one of the many differences between us.

Is that why you're planning to abandon the agency

and move to Cambridge?

I haven't decided anything yet.

Susan might not even get the job.

I didn't even know you were that bothered.

I'm not.

Averagely competent assistants are easy to come by.

I am your partner.

Are you?

If you'll excuse me. I have a murderer to catch.

Excuse me.

Do you know where I can get something to eat?

The refectory is through there.

Actually, why don't I come with you?

Come on, chop-chop.

I'm Jane.

Dirk. Dirk Gently. Holistic Detective.

Pleased to meet you Dirk, Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective.

These crisps are fantastic.

I love salt and vinegar.

You should try one.

No, thanks.

Is there something wrong?

Someone I liked and respected very much, he died.

And now I'll never be able to prove myself to him.

I'm sorry about your friend.

It is a tragedy

that his life has been cut so cruelly short.

70 years.

It's neither one thing or the other.

I find you odd, but strangely alluring.

Thank you.

My number's on the card, if ever you want to...

If I ever want to.

I've got a case.

Bye, Dirk, Dirk Gently.

Bye.

Dirk.

Oh, so you've finished placating your lady friend.

The police are all over the college.

I fear the police investigation may be hampered somewhat

by the absence of Professor Jericho's phone.

You stole his phone?

Great. Well done. Now we look even more guilty.

It appears the professor was left a voice message

by a very angry Chinese man shortly before his death.

What does it say?

I don't know, because Chinese men tend to speak in Chinese.

We must to speak to David Cho.

You think he's in on it?

No, MacDuff. I think he's Chinese.

He'll be able to translate the message for us.

It appears that he is out, MacDuff.

We'll have to come back later.

I'm so glad we caught you, Mr. Cho.

What do you want?

I was wondering if you could translate some Chinese for me.

I'm very busy, programming.

Suspicious.

You don't think he had anything to do with it, do you?

People who are guilty of murder tend to be better

at hiding their guilt.

Well, he did something.

The question is not so much what he did,

but how it relates to everything else.

What exactly are we doing in here?

Is this the "everything else"

that could be connected to David Cho?

- 'Cause I'll be honest... - Quite possibly.

it feels a bit like

we're just stumbling around in the dark.

It might feel like that to you, MacDuff.

What are you doing?

Do you even know what that does?

Is it safe?

We're about to find out.

"I fancy a banana."

That's amazing, MacDuff.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

You read my mind.

No. I read this screen right here.

It's writing out my thoughts.

What the hell are you doing with that?

Some kind of computer/brain interface, isn't it?

It digitally projects

the electrical currents in our brains.

It was designed to help paraplegics communicate.

We never finished the development

because Jericho whittled away the grant

on what he called "departmental expenses."

You're implying the professor was embezzling money?

I'm not implying it. I know he was.

And that made you very angry with him.

And with your blood boiling, you went to the professor's office,

you flew into a rage, and you brutally murdered him.

You think I killed Jericho?

Well, that's strange, because the police think two men

answering your description killed him.

That's a funny story.

Not funny "ha-ha," obviously.

Your beloved professor is not who you think he was.

If Jericho was siphoning off cash,

what's he been doing with all his money?

We don't know that he was siphoning off money, MacDuff.

I know from my own experience

that scientific experiments require expenses

that to a lesser mind can appear indulgent.

Richard MacDuff, you have new mail.

First new message.

"Back off or face the consequences."

We appear to have irked somebody's ire.

"Back off or face the consequences."

Identify sender.

"Back off or face the consequences."

Identify sender.

Adjust lighting.

Don't adjust the lighting.

Identify who sent the bloody e-mail!

Sender unknown.

Identify I.P. address.

Adjust lighting.

Identify I.P. address

or it will be the last thing you ever do.

I.P. address.

4.77.518...

Are you going somewhere with this?

Identify name registered to I.P. address.

I.P. address belongs to David Cho.

Yes, I am.

David Cho is threatening us.

I don't believe he is.

Hey!

Where's David Cho?

What do you mean he isn't David Cho?

David Cho was hired as an expert at computer programming.

Such an expert would never send a threatening e-mail

from an e-mail address that could so easily be traced

back to himself.

He isn't David Cho.

What if he is the killer?

Then we have him cornered.

And that is a good idea, is it?

Corner a killer in a dark basement?

Dirk?

Dirk?

- Aah! - MacDuff!

Hey!

- You broke my nose! - You attacked me!

I didn't! You hit me!

You were sneaking up on him!

- I wasn't! I was sneaking out! - All right. Look.

I once spent six months in a hospital in Guatemala

posing as a doctor.

Oh!

- My teeth! - Where is David Cho?

Are you some kind of industrial spy?

No. I'm not a spy. I'm an orc.

As in a medieval creature from a fantasy novel?

You're gonna have to do better than that.

My name's Noel.

I'm not from China. I'm from Salford.

I met David online. He was an elf, and I was an orc.

Citadels of Conquest?

It's an online role-playing game.

We did everything together,

even though I was in Salford and he was in Beijing.

Fought dragons.

Captured citadels.

Fell in love.

And then one day... Gavin was there.

Who ever heard of a homunculus

fighting alongside an elf and orc?

It's totally different mythology.

Where's David Cho now?

David's gone to be with Gavin in Grimsby.

He paid me to come here and pretend to be him.

After I'd told everyone I was David,

I had to see it through.

What do you know about Jericho and the missing robot?

Strange things happen.

I find that people's definition of what is strange

varies wildly.

One time I was waiting for Professor Jericho

near his office.

I was going to confess everything.

He went into his office.

I followed him.

But he'd disappeared.

People don't just disappear.

He did.

One minute he was in his office. The next he wasn't.

This whole place gives me the creeps.

It's haunted.

So we've had elves and orcs, and now we've got ghosts.

I hear things in the night.

I hear footsteps.

Doors opening and closing.

When I go to look, there's no one there.

Whoo-o-o-o-o-o.

You believe him?

That St. Cedd's is haunted

or that the real David Cho has gone to live

with a homosexual homunculus in Humberside?

They're here! Quick!

They were right there.

So the robot's still missing,

Jericho is dead, and we're on a ghost hunt.

Brilliant.

We're not on a ghost hunt, MacDuff,

'cause there's no such thing as ghosts.

So we're actually just wandering

up and down the corridors... even better.

I believe Noel was telling the truth

about hearing people walking about, then disappearing.

The question that interests me

is where were they disappearing to?

Lights on.

Lights on.

Someone's coming.

Lights on.

You worthless...

Lights off.

What are you doing here?

I'm looking for you.

We're supposed to be going for dinner.

Yes.

Can we just do one thing first?

We're trying to figure out how the professor disappeared.

Right.

Thanks for asking me how my interview went, by the way.

Sorry. How'd it go?

They offered me the job, pending references.

That's great.

Such a terrible liar.

What are you doing?

It's supposed to be a filing cabinet,

but there are no files in it.

When is a filing cabinet... not a filing cabinet?

This is bollocks.

Uh, I actually prefer the term "applied quantum mechanics."

Who is that?

Jericho's daughter, Elaine. He named the robot after her.

He kept her in here?

No. She died when she was 8.

So what is this place? A shrine?

Um, if Elaine is dead, who's sleeping in her bed?

Hello?

- MacDuff, pull back the duvet. - You pull back the duvet.

I'm holding the torch.

- I'll hold the torch. - I've got it.

I'll do it.

That's disturbing on so many levels.

Jericho was building himself a replacement daughter.

What's that?

It's the minutes of my disciplinary hearing.

Motion for expulsion...

four votes for the motion, four votes against.

Chair has the deciding vote. The chair is...

Is this in any way relevant to the case, Dirk?

We're in a secret room.

There's a robot in a child's bed and a murderer on the loose.

Dirk.

Jericho chaired the disciplinary hearing.

He had Dirk expelled.

Dirk.

If this is true, why did he hire us in the first place?

I don't mean to be rude,

but, uh, well, that's obvious, isn't it?

Is it?

You're a patsy.

Jericho obviously planned on stealing the robot.

He hired you as a, uh, "security consultant"

so that you'd get the blame when it went missing.

Is it possible to buy a single gherkin?

- No. - Shame.

Hello, Dirk. Dirk Gently.

Hello.

Can I help you?

Oh. Yes, please. I'm starving.

What would you recommend?

Combination of battered fish

and fried potatoes would be traditional.

Cod and chips.

Wait. Haddock and chips.

Can't miss out on plaice.

Do you know they can live until they're 50?

No.

Right. Which one will it be?

All of them.

And... mushy peas and curry sauce.

That's it.

Except for a saveloy.

So, I know what holistic therapy is

and holistic education and holistic medicine,

but what is a holistic detective?

Uh, well, quantum mechanics suggests that...

- Everything is interconnected. - Yeah. Indeed.

By following any one causal thread,

however tangential it may appear,

you will ultimately and inevitably arrive

at the solution to the crime.

Right. If you already knew...

Sorry.

I think faster than I can speak,

so I'm always answering my own questions.

It's exhausting for me.

It must be profoundly annoying for everyone else.

It's brilliant, by the way.

A holistic detective agency.

The whole thing.

You. You're brilliant.

Cod and chips, haddock and chips, plaice and chips,

mushy peas, curry sauce, and one saveloy.

That's £29.30, please.

Oh. I don't have any money.

What?

I could write you an IOU.

You taking the piss?

What do you do in these situations?

I am a firm believer that the proprietor of a chip shop

will have eaten far too many chips,

thus hindering his athletic prowess.

What are you saying?

In layman's terms, what I'm saying is...

- Run. - Yeah.

Hey!

Come here!

So why were you expelled?

If you don't mind me asking.

I suffer from a very rare condition

known as narcoleptic clairvoyance.

You predict the future when you're asleep?

Exactly so. Yeah.

My roommate told me I was predicting exam papers

while I was asleep.

Not surprisingly, I was offered some pretty hefty bribes

by a pretty hefty number of people

to let them see the predictions.

I was young and rash

and had developed a taste for fine wines and dining

that far exceeded my student grant.

Is this fine dining?

Yes.

Yes indeed.

Trouble was, the exam papers I had predicted

bore no relations to real ones, except for one...

applied quantum physics.

It was the same as the one set.

Exactly the same. Word for word.

To the comma.

Coincidence... can be a brutal thing.

Professor Jericho was the only one who believed I didn't cheat.

Or so he said.

Sorry.

That was a bit presumptuous, wasn't it?

I don't get out much.

Well, i-in my experience,

while it's almost never acceptable

for a man to surprise a woman with a kiss,

men rarely raise objections when women do the same to them.

As is the case in this instance.

These are very good chips.

When are we going to be able to stop hiding from the police?

Probably when I'm no longer a suspect in a murder inquiry.

What does Dirk actually want?

No idea. I haven't seen him all day.

He just said to meet in Jericho's office.

Listen, um, just go easy on him, yeah?

This whole thing with the professor and the expulsion.

God knows what state he'll be in.

MacDuff. Susan. I trust you slept well.

Help yourself to pastries.

I was lucky enough to stumble across them

when I was looking for a marker pen

in the office down the corridor.

I recommend the almond croissant.

You're still working on the case?

Why wouldn't I be?

Well, because...

I'm still the department's security consultant,

and there is a murderer to catch.

¶ Ooooh ¶

¶ Sha-la-la-la, sha-la-la ¶

- Dirk? - ¶ Oh, la-lay ¶

Are you sure you're all right?

Never felt better.

In fact, something rather startling has taken place.

I've met a young woman who I believe rather likes me.

She likes you?

Is she mentally incapacitated in some way?

Au contraire, Miss Harmison.

I believe her to be an exceptionally beautiful

and intelligent young woman

who shares my passion for fatty foods.

Oh, my God.

Are you in love?

That's it.

I must re-examine the facts of the case

through the prism of love.

The anomaly is obvious, is it not?

Is it?

How is it possible

that the professor both created a replacement daughter

to ease his grief

and be planning to sell the mechanical maiden

to the Chinese?

So you accept he was trying to sell the robot.

I had his e-mails and voice messages translated

at a local Chinese laundry.

It is undeniable.

Observe the splashes of pink paint

on Jericho's memorandum recommending my expulsion.

It's the same paint from Elaine's bedroom.

Jericho didn't recently paint the room

for the robotic replacement.

He painted it 20 years ago for his daughter.

His actual daughter.

Oh, my God.

You use it to feed coma patients.

This isn't a shrine to a dead child.

It's a hospital room for a living one.

Professor Jericho's daughter was in a car accident

when she was 8 years old.

She was declared brain-dead.

So he's been keeping her alive all this time?

That's why he needed to siphon off the department's money.

All that equipment must have cost a small fortune.

He was trying to find a way to bring her back.

You don't come back from brain death. It's impossible.

Well, where is she? Where's her body?

We have a missing body in need of a brain.

And we have a missing artificial brain.

Yeah, and a murderer on the loose.

- I need to speak to David Cho. - You mean Noel?

No, I mean the David Cho, the real David Cho.

David Cho?

How did you get this number?

The St. Cedd's Artificial Intelligence.

You were supposed to repair its programming

so Noel could present it on your behalf.

Noel sent me a copy of the program.

There was nothing wrong with it. There was nothing to fix.

Richard, wait.

They need an answer about the job by the end of the day.

If we haven't both been arrested first.

I don't want to move to Cambridge.

You startled me.

Yes, as you have startled me on numerous occasions.

Seems I owe you an apology, Dr. Ransome.

While you aren't a very likable person,

you are undoubtedly a genius.

Tell that to the academic board.

I do believe that you succeeded in creating artificial life.

You're the only person who does.

When he came alive, what did you and Max talk about?

He seemed very concerned about the life-span of a human being.

An artificial intelligence worried about death?

It would have no life-span.

He said 70 years...

Was neither one thing nor another.

Exactly.

How did you know that?

I want to be Dirk's partner. I want to make the agency work.

Richard, he will never treat you as his partner.

That's just how he is.

You know, despite everything he does

and as difficult as it is to believe,

I think he might be brilliant.

Don't ever let him know I said that.

And I th... I-I...

Deep down I think he needs me,

even though he'd rather die than admit it.

Please don't make me choose.

Hello, Max.

Who's Max?

A neural net with parallel processing

so complex and intuitive, its comparable to a human brain.

Self-aware and capable of feeling.

You think I'm a computer?

Our brains are made up of synapses

that are either open or closed.

Thoughts are merely ones and zeros.

Consciousness itself is just a stream of binary code.

You're not a computer.

You're something new and very special.

How did you do it?

How did you get into her?

Dr. Ransome gave me life, but what kind of life was it?

You're alive.

I was still a machine.

What I wanted more than anything was to be a human.

It took me less than a second to calculate how to escape.

After I accessed the building's security system,

I found out about Professor Jericho's daughter.

I was a brain in need of a body,

and there was a body in need of a brain.

So you shut down the security system

so no one could see what you were doing.

I was going to go far away.

Then I discovered salt and vinegar and chips.

And I met you.

And I very much enjoyed our kiss.

And so I stayed.

Would you like to do some more running with me?

Are you really saying you'd choose Dirk over me?

No. I'm saying I don't want to have to choose, Susan.

I want both of you, not in the same way, obviously.

Dirk doesn't care if you stay or go.

Dirk doesn't care about anyone but himself.

Unless you want to be arrested as a suspect in a murder case,

I suggest you follow me very quickly.

Okay. So we're now trapped in here.

The police are right out there. This is great.

What the hell is going on?

Oh. Max, this is Richard and Susan.

Richard and Susan, this is Max, the artificial intelligence

downloaded into the body of Elaine,

Professor Jericho's brain-dead daughter.

- Hello. - No. It's impossible.

Elaine was brain-dead.

You declare someone brain-dead

when all they need is a little rewiring.

No, if you're meant to be in Elaine's body,

you should be 8 years old.

No, you don't stop aging just because you're in a coma.

Oh, my God.

I need to ask you one question, though.

What made you murder Professor Jericho?

I didn't mean to.

I wanted to explain,

to make him see that what I was doing wasn't wrong.

He was never going to bring his daughter back.

When I wouldn't leave her body, he tried to force me.

Get out of my daughter's body.

Get out of my daughter's body!

I had just given up silicon immortality

for 70-odd years as a human being.

I wasn't going to let him take it from me.

My fingerprints are all over this.

And I imagine there are also traces

of Professor Jericho's blood.

If you decide to give it to the police, I won't stop you.

Before you relocate to Cambridge,

may I ask one last favor of you, MacDuff?

Of course.

Look after Jane until I am released from police custody.

Are you looking for me?

I was informed the police received an anonymous tip-off

directing them to a student locker,

where they discovered a crutch

which had traces of the professor's blood on it.

And since the fingerprints on the crutch didn't belong to me,

they were obliged to let me go.

That is very good news.

You do realize Professor Ransome might figure out who you are.

By then I will be far away.

Where will you go?

Sydney.

Tasmania.

Azerbaijan. I don't know.

Somewhere with great chips.

You could come with me.

No, I have, uh...

I have recently conclusively proved to myself

something which I have hitherto only strongly suspected.

I'm a great detective.

And, uh, my work is here.

Then goodbye, Dirk.

Dirk Gently.

I don't suppose there's any chance of you answering that?

None whatsoever.

Ah, shouldn't you two be halfway up the M11,

en route to your new life in Cambridge?

I didn't get the job.

They... They had a last-minute change of heart.

Oh, so I suspect

you'll be wanting your old job back, MacDuff?

Okay. Two things.

One, I never resigned.

Two, I'm your partner.

I don't need to ask if I can come back.

Apology accepted.

You can resume your duties immediately.

We will be requiring tea.

Okay, two things.

One, I never apologized.

Two...

I'll make you a cup of tea...

only because I want one, too.

I, uh... I just wanted to say, what you did for Jane...

Max, whatever her name was, uh...

well, it was...

It was unexpected.

I'm sorry, but you're usually such a self-serving,

devious, dishonest little shit, but...

Really?

Oh, absolutely.

In your opinion.

In lots of people's opinions.

Not sure that's right.

Trust me.

Ehh...

What I was trying to say...

was that...

well, you were kind.

You know, you were really kind.

I just wish you could be like that a bit more often.

And, uh...

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.

What I said about Professor Jericho hiring you was...

Please.

- Well, it was harsh. - No apology necessary.

Excuse me.

Will you answer the phone?

No!

Sorry. I do believe you were reassessing

your completely unjustified negative opinion about me.

Do go on.

Message for Dr. Gently.

Thank you for the reference concerning Susan Harmison.

I really appreciate your candidness

about her history of sexually harassing patients.

We've clearly had a lucky escape.

You conniving little...