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1
00:00:05,019 --> 00:00:06,139
Pearle: Randy, you up?
2
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:09,210
Better get your butt outta bed!
You've got a long trip!
3
00:00:09,230 --> 00:00:11,180
[ Yawning ]
4
00:00:11,199 --> 00:00:15,139
[ Country music playing ]
5
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,160
Uh, make sure not to use that
toilet while I'm gone, Ma.
6
00:00:18,179 --> 00:00:20,059
I gotta fix that nasty clog.
7
00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:22,209
Okay.
Have a safe one, baby!
8
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:29,020
♪♪
9
00:00:29,039 --> 00:00:35,059
♪♪
10
00:00:35,079 --> 00:00:36,199
[ Bicycle bell chimes ]
11
00:00:36,219 --> 00:00:40,019
Your cheapest ticket
to anywhere, please.
12
00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:41,159
Employee: This will serve
as final boarding call
13
00:00:41,179 --> 00:00:45,179
for flight 833 to Denver.
[ Wand squeaking ]
14
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,030
Phew, made it!
15
00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:56,230
One off-da-hook Donkey Sauce
deep-fried Flavorburger, please!
16
00:00:58,210 --> 00:01:00,110
Ah.
17
00:01:00,130 --> 00:01:02,140
[ Cash register dings ]
[ Bicycle bell chimes ]
18
00:01:02,159 --> 00:01:12,069
♪♪
19
00:01:12,090 --> 00:01:15,020
Ma, I got your burger home
in record time!
20
00:01:15,039 --> 00:01:17,029
You can eat it hot for once.
[ Man grunting ]
21
00:01:17,049 --> 00:01:19,069
[ Rhythmic squeaking ]
Pearle: Now stick it in!
22
00:01:19,090 --> 00:01:21,030
Get in there real deep!
23
00:01:21,049 --> 00:01:23,209
Ma?
[ Both grunting ]
24
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,110
[ Gasps ]
25
00:01:25,129 --> 00:01:27,169
[ Grunting continues ]
26
00:01:27,189 --> 00:01:30,079
[ Gasps ]
27
00:01:30,099 --> 00:01:32,039
[ Gasps ]
28
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:34,160
It's not what it looks like.
We're lovers!
29
00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:36,080
Huh?
30
00:01:36,099 --> 00:01:38,119
I love this...man.
31
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:41,000
Ah...oooh.
Ew.
32
00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:47,150
♪♪
33
00:01:47,170 --> 00:01:54,010
♪♪
34
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:57,090
How could you hire another
handyman behind my back?
35
00:01:57,109 --> 00:01:59,129
I didn't want to hurt
your feelings.
36
00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:01,030
You're a fragile boy.
37
00:02:01,049 --> 00:02:02,209
I'm a fragile man!
38
00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:05,150
And being a handyman
is my thing.
39
00:02:05,170 --> 00:02:07,150
That's why I get
to live here rent-free.
40
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,170
I thought it was because
you're the landlord's son.
41
00:02:09,189 --> 00:02:10,209
[ Splutters ]
42
00:02:10,229 --> 00:02:13,039
Randy, I'm sorry
it came to this,
43
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:17,120
but things had to get fixed,
and, well, you're...
44
00:02:17,139 --> 00:02:18,999
-I'm what?!
-Eh...
45
00:02:19,020 --> 00:02:22,010
you may not exactly be good
at fixing things?
46
00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:23,120
Says when?!
47
00:02:23,139 --> 00:02:27,069
[ Muttering ] Numbers, numbers.
48
00:02:27,090 --> 00:02:29,090
[ Gulping ]
49
00:02:29,170 --> 00:02:31,190
[ Grunting ]
50
00:02:35,210 --> 00:02:37,150
That'll hold.
51
00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:42,060
But repairs are my calling.
52
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,209
Maybe find
a different calling?
53
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:45,179
Yeah!
You're good at tons of stuff.
54
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,139
-Binge-watching.
-Toasting bread?
55
00:02:47,159 --> 00:02:48,219
Not wearing a shirt?
56
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,060
Those examples are bullshit
and you know it!
57
00:02:52,079 --> 00:02:55,129
I'm gonna do what troubled young
men have done for centuries --
58
00:02:55,150 --> 00:02:58,100
Go...to...sea.
59
00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:04,140
[ Exhales deeply ]
This is where I belong!
60
00:03:07,129 --> 00:03:10,179
[ Metal creaking ]
61
00:03:10,199 --> 00:03:14,039
[ Horn blares ]
62
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,220
[ Shouts, gasps ]
63
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,100
[ Kraken roaring ]
64
00:03:20,219 --> 00:03:23,059
[ Coughing ]
65
00:03:23,079 --> 00:03:24,149
Oh, no!
66
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:27,100
This is my nightmare --
being cast away
67
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,220
on a desert island,
68
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,109
like in that Tom Hanks movie.
69
00:03:31,129 --> 00:03:33,189
What was the name of that one?
70
00:03:33,210 --> 00:03:36,030
Dang it!
71
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,190
[ Groans ]
"Tom Hanks movies"...
72
00:03:37,210 --> 00:03:39,130
[ Cellphone chimes ]
Oh, that was fast.
73
00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:41,000
Tom Hanks was in "Big?"
74
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:43,030
Huh.
Learn something new everyday.
75
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:47,020
Hit the old Wikipedia here,
crank the brightness...
76
00:03:47,039 --> 00:03:49,229
Better read this slowly
for full comprehension...
77
00:03:50,009 --> 00:03:53,029
"Tom Hanks has been featured
in many films
78
00:03:53,050 --> 00:03:57,210
including the one where he is
stranded all alone, by himself.
79
00:03:57,229 --> 00:04:00,169
The title of that movie is..."
80
00:04:00,189 --> 00:04:04,219
[ Cellphone beeps ]
Noooooo!
81
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:10,050
♪♪
82
00:04:10,069 --> 00:04:15,129
♪♪
83
00:04:15,150 --> 00:04:17,130
Noooooo!
84
00:04:20,230 --> 00:04:22,140
Noooooo!
85
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:26,120
[ Grunts ]
86
00:04:28,209 --> 00:04:30,149
[ Grunts, groans ]
87
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:33,130
Dang it... [ Groaning ]
88
00:04:33,149 --> 00:04:35,089
♪ Hammers and nails,
hammers and nails ♪
89
00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:37,080
♪ Nails and hammers,
a ladder or two ♪
90
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:39,130
We know what to do.
Righty tighty, lefty loosey!
91
00:04:39,149 --> 00:04:42,079
Need more caulk!
-You can't fix anything!
92
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:45,050
Why are you even trying,
you tiny me's?!
93
00:04:45,069 --> 00:04:47,059
[ Toilet flushes ]
94
00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,149
How can I ever repay you?
95
00:04:49,170 --> 00:04:51,030
I take cash, credit,
96
00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:54,200
or maternal love.
97
00:04:54,220 --> 00:04:58,000
Don't pay him, Maaa!
98
00:04:58,019 --> 00:05:02,149
[ Screaming ]
99
00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:06,090
♪ Handy Randy, Handy Randy,
Handy Randy, Randy Hand ♪ ♪
[ Screaming continues ]
100
00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:08,180
What is this David Lynch
bullshit?!
101
00:05:08,199 --> 00:05:10,049
[ Laughter ]
102
00:05:10,069 --> 00:05:12,099
[ Screams ]
103
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,210
[ Groans ]
104
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:17,110
Welp, I guess I did find
my true calling...
105
00:05:17,129 --> 00:05:18,149
Death.
106
00:05:18,170 --> 00:05:21,220
Take me now, cruel God!
107
00:05:25,110 --> 00:05:28,010
Bob Vila from "This Old House?"
108
00:05:28,029 --> 00:05:29,209
Tim Allen as that guy
from "Home Improvement"
109
00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:32,100
whose name I forgot?
-[ "Home Improvement" grunt ]
110
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,000
-Ikea Man?
-[ Pops ]
111
00:05:34,019 --> 00:05:37,009
Nice to meat you, too!
112
00:05:37,029 --> 00:05:38,139
You guys are legends!
113
00:05:38,159 --> 00:05:40,109
My handyman inspiration.
114
00:05:40,129 --> 00:05:41,219
We're here to save you, Randy.
115
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,140
If you don't build yourself
a shelter and quick,
116
00:05:44,159 --> 00:05:46,199
you will die.
117
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,060
[ Grunting ] Gruh-oh.
118
00:05:48,079 --> 00:05:51,089
Aw...I can't build nothing.
I'm not handy.
119
00:05:51,110 --> 00:05:53,220
And even if I were,
I've got no tools.
120
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,150
You've got the most important
tool of all.
121
00:05:56,170 --> 00:05:58,050
[ Pops ]
122
00:05:58,069 --> 00:05:59,099
Me?
123
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,000
Exactamundo!
124
00:06:01,019 --> 00:06:02,059
You're right.
125
00:06:02,079 --> 00:06:03,139
I am a tool.
126
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,120
That's the spirit.
And don't worry,
127
00:06:05,139 --> 00:06:07,129
we've got your back,
right fellas?
128
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:09,039
[ Grunting ]
129
00:06:09,060 --> 00:06:16,140
♪♪
130
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,230
[ Tree crashes ]
131
00:06:18,009 --> 00:06:23,099
♪♪
132
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:28,200
♪♪
133
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:31,030
[ Grunting ]
134
00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:32,120
[ Dings, pops ]
135
00:06:32,139 --> 00:06:37,999
♪♪
136
00:06:38,019 --> 00:06:41,099
[ Pops, dings ]
[ Drill whirs ]
137
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,210
Would you look at that?
138
00:06:44,230 --> 00:06:46,040
Home sweet home.
139
00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:48,060
An exact replica
of our building.
140
00:06:48,079 --> 00:06:49,179
What do you guys think?
141
00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:51,049
[ As Josh ] So cool!
142
00:06:51,069 --> 00:06:53,039
[ Feminine ] I wanna bring all
my boyfriends here.
143
00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:56,120
As a working mom who wants
to have it all, I love it!
144
00:06:56,139 --> 00:06:59,179
And I'm Alex!
145
00:06:59,199 --> 00:07:04,069
Son, I'm gonna say this in the
least racist accent I can!
146
00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:05,159
You did good.
147
00:07:05,180 --> 00:07:08,120
Also, I love you now.
148
00:07:08,139 --> 00:07:11,069
Thanks, Ma.
Built it all from memory.
149
00:07:11,089 --> 00:07:13,009
Every detail's the same --
150
00:07:13,029 --> 00:07:15,149
the floor's crooked,
the walls are kinda janky.
151
00:07:15,170 --> 00:07:18,070
It's even got that monster
toilet clog.
152
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,159
[ Chuckles ]
Come to think of it,
153
00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:22,070
I could finally
take care of that.
154
00:07:25,129 --> 00:07:28,049
[ Grunting ]
155
00:07:28,069 --> 00:07:30,079
[ Straining ]
156
00:07:33,139 --> 00:07:35,039
What the butt?!
157
00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:40,040
[ Shouts ]
158
00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:45,110
No! Ma!
159
00:07:45,129 --> 00:07:49,999
[ Crying loudly ]
160
00:07:51,149 --> 00:07:54,139
[ Cries ]
I'm sorry
for your loss, Randy.
161
00:07:54,159 --> 00:07:59,069
[ Crying ]
How could this have happened?
162
00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:04,000
No. [ Murmuring ]
163
00:08:04,019 --> 00:08:05,079
Oh, yeah, no.
164
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,150
[ Dings ]
Oh. [ Gasps ]
165
00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:08,010
[ Squeaking ]
166
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:12,099
♪♪
167
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,120
Oh, no.
If Ma fixes that clog,
168
00:08:14,139 --> 00:08:17,039
the whole house will collapse
and crush everyone!
169
00:08:17,060 --> 00:08:18,090
Unless...
170
00:08:18,110 --> 00:08:21,180
Unless I save them.
[ Thunder crashes ]
171
00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:22,219
[ Grunts ]
172
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,220
[ Breathing heavily ]
173
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,060
[ Grunts ]
174
00:08:28,079 --> 00:08:29,209
Thank you, guys!
175
00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:33,040
Thank you for teaching me
to give the ultimate handy!
176
00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:35,139
That's a weird way to put it,
but you're welcome.
177
00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:39,219
♪♪
178
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,140
[ Grunts ]
179
00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:46,049
[ Steel drum playing ]
180
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,150
Randy: [ Breathing heavily ]
181
00:08:50,169 --> 00:08:52,059
I'm too late!
182
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:53,200
[ Shouts ]
Randy!
183
00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:57,080
Clear that clog and we die!
184
00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:59,020
That's a load-bearing clog.
185
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,139
If you clear it
without substituting
186
00:09:00,159 --> 00:09:04,159
a comparable support,
this whole place goes down.
187
00:09:04,179 --> 00:09:06,199
Yeah, okay, buddy.
188
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,060
[ Grunts ]
189
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,200
Take cover, Ma!
190
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:16,090
[ Grunting ]
191
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:18,000
Randy?!
What's happening?
192
00:09:18,019 --> 00:09:20,109
I'm rerouting all the pipes
to clear the clog.
193
00:09:20,129 --> 00:09:23,039
Get to your toilets
and wait for my signal!
194
00:09:23,059 --> 00:09:31,209
♪♪
195
00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:34,150
Ax kick! [ Grunts ]
196
00:09:34,169 --> 00:09:44,109
♪♪
197
00:09:44,129 --> 00:09:45,209
[ Straining ]
198
00:09:45,230 --> 00:09:49,070
[ Hisses ]
199
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:51,030
Toothpaste!
200
00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:55,050
[ Hissing ]
201
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:59,040
[ Grunting ]
202
00:09:59,059 --> 00:10:01,039
You son of a bitch.
203
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:09,119
♪♪
204
00:10:09,139 --> 00:10:12,009
Okay, guys!
On the count of three,
205
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:14,139
I want you to flush that toilet!
206
00:10:14,159 --> 00:10:15,199
I can't do it!
207
00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:17,100
You've got to!
208
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,070
Three, two, one!
209
00:10:20,090 --> 00:10:22,000
Fluuush!
210
00:10:22,019 --> 00:10:32,009
♪♪
211
00:10:32,029 --> 00:10:33,129
That'll hold.
212
00:10:33,149 --> 00:10:34,189
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
213
00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:37,060
You saved the house, baby!
214
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,210
[ Island music playing ]
215
00:10:39,230 --> 00:10:47,010
♪♪
216
00:10:47,029 --> 00:10:54,049
♪♪
217
00:10:54,070 --> 00:11:01,090
♪♪
218
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:03,080
And I'm Alex!
219
00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:10,020
[ Children laughing ]
220
00:11:10,039 --> 00:11:11,139
Ugh, how is it
that every kid
221
00:11:11,159 --> 00:11:14,139
seems to have their birthday
party in the same six weeks?
222
00:11:14,159 --> 00:11:16,009
Aw, they're not that bad.
223
00:11:16,029 --> 00:11:17,219
[ Grunts, chuckles weakly ]
224
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,030
We've got three
more this weekend.
225
00:11:20,049 --> 00:11:22,019
Only three? Lucky.
226
00:11:22,039 --> 00:11:23,099
We've got five.
227
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,190
See you guys...
228
00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:28,050
[ Children laughing, shouting ]
229
00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:36,020
♪♪
230
00:11:36,039 --> 00:11:43,209
♪♪
231
00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:45,030
This party rules!
232
00:11:45,049 --> 00:11:48,059
I can't wait for my party
next weekend.
233
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,140
[ Chuckling nervously ]
Us, too...
234
00:11:49,159 --> 00:11:51,179
Can't wait...
[ Chuckles weakly ]
235
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,110
I can't take
any more forced fun.
236
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,179
Just kill me now.
[ Shouts ]
237
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,110
[ Groans ]
Thank you.
238
00:11:58,129 --> 00:12:04,229
♪♪
239
00:12:05,009 --> 00:12:11,079
♪♪
240
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:13,130
Okay, I've booked the magician
for Candice's party,
241
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,059
ordered the cake,
I bought the decorations,
242
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,190
and scored some Xanax
to get us through it.
243
00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:19,230
When did birthday parties
become so not fun?
244
00:12:20,009 --> 00:12:22,029
Yeah, I feel like the parents
deserve a party
245
00:12:22,049 --> 00:12:24,119
just for going
to all these parties.
246
00:12:24,139 --> 00:12:26,119
Wait, can we do that?
Do what?
247
00:12:26,139 --> 00:12:30,139
Throw a party for the
parents at the same time
as Candice's party.
248
00:12:30,159 --> 00:12:33,029
Can we do that?
249
00:12:33,049 --> 00:12:35,119
I'll get Pearle
to watch the kids!
I'm ordering a keg.
250
00:12:35,139 --> 00:12:37,089
Oh, my God, we could do
weed delivery.
251
00:12:37,110 --> 00:12:38,200
Siri, how do you
make peyote?
252
00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:41,180
Let's buy cocaine!
253
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,170
Too far?
Too far.
254
00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:47,170
[ Children laughing, screaming ]
255
00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:49,010
Hey! [ Blows whistle ]
256
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:51,049
Put that snot
back in your nose!
257
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:54,150
[ Gasps ]
That cake is ginormous.
258
00:12:54,169 --> 00:12:57,159
Here comes the cavalry!
Mom, Dad!
259
00:12:57,179 --> 00:12:59,109
Come into the bounce house
with me!
260
00:12:59,129 --> 00:13:00,189
It's so fun!
261
00:13:00,210 --> 00:13:02,210
We have to bring this
to the garage, sweetie.
262
00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:05,000
You go have fun
with your friends.
263
00:13:09,059 --> 00:13:10,159
Hmm...
264
00:13:10,179 --> 00:13:13,229
[ Electronic dance music plays ]
265
00:13:14,009 --> 00:13:16,099
This is how you celebrate
a kid's birthday.
266
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:19,000
No kid shit, just booze.
267
00:13:19,019 --> 00:13:22,009
Wow!
Cookies you can eat?
268
00:13:22,029 --> 00:13:23,089
My favorite!
269
00:13:23,110 --> 00:13:25,050
We're the best parents.
270
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:28,040
[ Clears throat ]
Candice... [ Chuckles ]
271
00:13:28,059 --> 00:13:30,119
You're not supposed
to be in here.
But you are.
272
00:13:30,139 --> 00:13:32,179
Uh, let's get off the big metal
juice box, sweetie.
273
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,230
Everybody, we'll be right back.
Drink up!
274
00:13:35,009 --> 00:13:36,169
[ Cheering ]
275
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,060
Hey, look,
the magician's here!
276
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,090
You can set up over there
and start whenever you're ready.
277
00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:43,220
The Amazing Sardini
is always ready!
278
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,170
But where are the parents?
279
00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:47,060
Well, we had this idea
that the parents
280
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,220
could have their own party.
281
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,230
Cool, right?
We got tired of the standard
282
00:13:51,009 --> 00:13:52,099
kids birthday party thing.
283
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:55,090
But magic is an all-ages
entertainment.
284
00:13:55,110 --> 00:13:57,200
Don't you want to see the look
on your children's faces
285
00:13:57,220 --> 00:14:00,100
when I create...illusions?
286
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,140
Yeah...
We had this awesome idea
287
00:14:02,159 --> 00:14:04,159
that the parents
could have a party.
288
00:14:04,179 --> 00:14:06,029
So...
289
00:14:08,210 --> 00:14:10,110
Uhh...
290
00:14:10,129 --> 00:14:12,079
[ Panting ]
291
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,160
[ Cheering ]
292
00:14:14,179 --> 00:14:17,119
Oh, yeah, whippin' out
the six pack!
293
00:14:17,139 --> 00:14:19,179
Whoo-hoo!
-Oh, my God.
294
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,020
Wouldn't it be funny
if we all made out?
295
00:14:22,039 --> 00:14:24,079
Ha, let's get
naked and fight!
296
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:26,100
[ Grunts ]
-Ow! I'm down.
297
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,220
What the butt?!
We were gone for five minutes!
298
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,050
What'd you expect?
299
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,180
You gave a bunch of parents
a keg.
300
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:34,060
Everyone knows once you have
kids you can't hold your liquor.
301
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,140
Whoo! I just had a Corona!
302
00:14:37,159 --> 00:14:39,149
[ Groans ]
-[ Gasps ]
303
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:41,139
[ Moaning ]
304
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:46,210
And what's the first rule
of Naked Fight Club?
305
00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:49,100
Hey, some nerd is doing magic.
306
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,020
Let's go make fun of him.
307
00:14:51,039 --> 00:14:54,049
What seems like
an ordinary handkerchief
308
00:14:54,070 --> 00:14:58,010
is actually
a magic handkerchief.
[ Dove cooing ]
309
00:14:58,029 --> 00:15:01,149
[ Parents shouting
indistinctly ]
Okay, guys.
Let's get back into the garage.
310
00:15:01,169 --> 00:15:03,229
-Fake thumb!
-Magic sucks!
311
00:15:04,009 --> 00:15:05,219
Suck your own [bleep]!
[ Gasps ]
312
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,150
Ma'am!
There are children here!
313
00:15:08,169 --> 00:15:10,089
[ Cheering ]
314
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:14,130
Hey kids, watch me
make this beer disappear.
315
00:15:14,149 --> 00:15:16,009
[ Children eww ]
Shut up!
316
00:15:16,029 --> 00:15:18,009
It's a stout,
and it's my second!
317
00:15:18,029 --> 00:15:20,129
Ladies and gentlemen,
if everyone could please respect
318
00:15:20,149 --> 00:15:22,039
the art of magic
for a moment.
319
00:15:22,059 --> 00:15:25,119
[ Booing and jeering ]
320
00:15:25,139 --> 00:15:27,219
Enough!
You wanted a party
321
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,120
without children,
did you not?
322
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,229
[ Indistinct chatter ]
323
00:15:33,009 --> 00:15:36,049
Exite cerimonia!
324
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,230
[ Pops ]
325
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:45,140
[ Cheering ]
326
00:15:45,159 --> 00:15:47,129
Now that's a good trick.
327
00:15:47,149 --> 00:15:49,219
I took a class
at the Magic Castle, so...
328
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,070
Uh...
What just happened?
329
00:15:51,090 --> 00:15:53,000
Did he just...actually...
330
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:55,039
What did you do?!
Where are the kids?!
331
00:15:55,059 --> 00:15:58,039
I sent them somewhere they can
enjoy a real birthday party,
332
00:15:58,059 --> 00:16:00,049
which you clearly
cannot provide.
333
00:16:00,070 --> 00:16:03,120
If you want them, put on
the hats and go get them.
334
00:16:03,139 --> 00:16:06,049
[ Snaps finger ]
335
00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:07,100
Alex, Bridgette!
336
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,220
Keep the parents distracted.
337
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,170
Hey, I think there's some
artisanal pizzas
338
00:16:11,190 --> 00:16:12,210
in the garage...
339
00:16:12,230 --> 00:16:16,140
Ready?
Let's do this.
340
00:16:16,159 --> 00:16:18,139
[ Pops ]
341
00:16:18,159 --> 00:16:20,079
[ Both gasp ]
342
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:21,130
Where the hell are we?
343
00:16:21,149 --> 00:16:24,999
Gifty: Birthday World,
ya silly bean!
344
00:16:25,019 --> 00:16:28,039
A land of nonstop fun
where the currency is laughs
345
00:16:28,059 --> 00:16:30,169
and it's illegal to frown!
346
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,150
Just kidding, we don't
have government here.
347
00:16:32,169 --> 00:16:35,069
O-kay...
Where are the kids?
348
00:16:35,090 --> 00:16:39,000
They're atop Mount Cake
in Castle Joy!
349
00:16:39,019 --> 00:16:42,069
Yay, Castle Joy!
350
00:16:42,090 --> 00:16:44,060
[ Children screaming ]
351
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,120
And what's happens
in Castle Joy?
352
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:49,099
A never-ending birthday party!
It's like Chuck E. Cheese,
353
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,230
except soon your children will
forget they even have parents...
354
00:16:52,009 --> 00:16:54,099
[distorted ] and choose
to stay here for all eternity.
355
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,100
[ Normal voice ] Yaaaaay!
356
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,130
[ Dings ]
This place is a nightmare.
357
00:16:58,149 --> 00:17:00,009
Come on!
358
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:04,100
[ Growling ]
359
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:12,189
♪♪
360
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:21,060
♪♪
361
00:17:21,079 --> 00:17:29,159
♪♪
362
00:17:29,180 --> 00:17:31,020
[ Screaming ]
363
00:17:31,039 --> 00:17:33,089
[ Chomping ]
364
00:17:33,109 --> 00:17:42,029
♪♪
365
00:17:42,049 --> 00:17:43,079
[ Both gasp ]
366
00:17:43,099 --> 00:17:45,109
[ Balloons squeaking ]
367
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:51,110
♪♪
368
00:17:51,130 --> 00:17:52,180
[ Children screaming ]
369
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,100
Candice? We're coming!
370
00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:56,029
[ Screaming continues ]
371
00:17:56,049 --> 00:18:01,039
[ Children cheering ]
372
00:18:01,059 --> 00:18:03,109
Candice?
373
00:18:03,130 --> 00:18:06,120
Are you okay?
Candice?
374
00:18:06,140 --> 00:18:08,120
[ Laughs ] Gotcha!
[ Both gasp ]
375
00:18:08,140 --> 00:18:10,070
Together: Sardini!
376
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,139
[ Children groaning ]
377
00:18:14,150 --> 00:18:16,000
Give us back our daughter,
Sardini.
378
00:18:16,019 --> 00:18:17,109
We survived
all your challenges.
379
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:20,040
[ Laughs ] But the most
important challenges
380
00:18:20,059 --> 00:18:23,179
are yet to come.
[ Grunts ]
381
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,040
[ Both shout ]
382
00:18:26,059 --> 00:18:29,139
First, you must select
all images
383
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,070
with traffic lights on them!
384
00:18:31,089 --> 00:18:32,099
Really?
385
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:34,009
Sorry, it's part
of the procedure.
386
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:37,039
We need to make sure
you're not a bot.
387
00:18:37,059 --> 00:18:39,019
[ Window blipping ]
388
00:18:39,039 --> 00:18:40,079
[ Window chimes ]
389
00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:42,159
Nice, Em!
390
00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:46,210
Next, a test of how well
you know your daughter.
391
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,150
[ Ominous organ plays ]
392
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:53,100
What is her favorite
kind of birthday cake?
393
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:59,059
Easy,
she likes strawberries.
394
00:18:59,079 --> 00:19:00,189
No!
[ Organ blares ]
395
00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:03,010
[ Screams ]
No!
396
00:19:03,029 --> 00:19:04,139
It's a trick question!
397
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,000
Candice loves all cake.
398
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:08,139
Her favorite is going to be
the biggest one.
399
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,100
Oh, yeah!
400
00:19:12,039 --> 00:19:13,219
Very good.
401
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:19,070
Now, what is her favorite
birthday activity?
402
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,010
Well, she did say she wanted
to bounce with us.
403
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,149
But remember how hard
she laughed
404
00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:27,010
when we played musical chairs
and I fell on my face?
405
00:19:27,029 --> 00:19:29,029
She also loves it
when I swing the piñata.
406
00:19:29,049 --> 00:19:31,159
Don't worry, children!
If they get it wrong,
407
00:19:31,180 --> 00:19:33,010
you'll spend the rest
of your days
408
00:19:33,029 --> 00:19:35,219
living off of nutritious
Necco Wafers!
409
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,160
Yaaay!
410
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:39,020
[ Roaring ]
411
00:19:39,039 --> 00:19:41,099
It could be
any of these things.
412
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,119
That's the answer.
It's all of these.
413
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,060
Her favorite activity
is the one she does with us.
414
00:19:46,079 --> 00:19:49,189
You are correct!
415
00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:51,220
But for your final test,
416
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,110
answer the question
of a special guest.
417
00:19:57,170 --> 00:19:58,220
Mom, Dad?
418
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,140
Candice!
[ Breathing heavily ]
419
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:04,090
Ah-ah-ah, first you answer
the question.
420
00:20:04,109 --> 00:20:05,169
Uh...
421
00:20:05,190 --> 00:20:08,010
Why'd you guys want to spend
time in the garage
422
00:20:08,029 --> 00:20:10,169
instead of with me?
423
00:20:10,190 --> 00:20:13,050
We blew it, honey.
We didn't mean to ignore you.
424
00:20:13,069 --> 00:20:15,109
We just wanted to do something
nice for the parents,
425
00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,210
and we got
wrapped up in it.
426
00:20:16,230 --> 00:20:19,070
Sometimes parents want
to have grown-up fun,
427
00:20:19,089 --> 00:20:22,029
but we were selfish.
Today should've been about you.
428
00:20:22,049 --> 00:20:25,139
And to show me how sorry you are
you'll get me an iPad Pro?
429
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,050
Well...
[ Both chuckling nervously ]
430
00:20:27,069 --> 00:20:29,209
Great. Amazing Sardini,
this place is cool,
431
00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:32,230
but I'd like
to finish my party at home.
432
00:20:33,009 --> 00:20:35,199
Very well.
433
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,050
-Candice!
-Candice!
434
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,129
Congratulations, parents.
435
00:20:38,150 --> 00:20:41,190
You learned the true
meaning of birthdays.
436
00:20:41,210 --> 00:20:43,090
Hooray!
437
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:47,049
[ Hacking ]
438
00:20:47,069 --> 00:20:49,159
You are free to go.
439
00:20:49,180 --> 00:20:52,080
Candice, I must admit
I was hoping
440
00:20:52,099 --> 00:20:54,199
you would choose
to stay here with me.
441
00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:57,210
You see, I have no children
of my own.
442
00:20:57,230 --> 00:20:59,050
I can't have them.
443
00:20:59,069 --> 00:21:01,009
Skateboarding accident
when I was a teen.
444
00:21:01,029 --> 00:21:02,199
I was doing a trick
on a handrail.
445
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:05,040
I think you can imagine
how that went.
[ Inaudible ]
446
00:21:05,059 --> 00:21:07,119
The one thing
that gives my life purpose
447
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:11,120
is letting children
d-- d--
448
00:21:11,140 --> 00:21:13,110
Guess it's just you
and me again.
449
00:21:13,130 --> 00:21:15,000
There, there, Sardini.
450
00:21:15,019 --> 00:21:18,159
[ Slurping ]
Both moaning ]
451
00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:21,040
Unwrap me...
Oh, yes, mmm...
452
00:21:21,059 --> 00:21:23,009
Oh, Gifty...
453
00:21:23,029 --> 00:21:27,079
[ Parents snoring ]
And the 12th thing only
a true '90s kid will remember...
454
00:21:27,099 --> 00:21:29,089
is Tamagotchis.
455
00:21:29,109 --> 00:21:30,159
[ Snoring ]
456
00:21:30,180 --> 00:21:33,100
Hey, I thought they'd never
fall asleep.
457
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,129
Aww...they look so peaceful.
458
00:21:36,150 --> 00:21:39,110
[ Cheering and laughter ]
I-I'm awake!
459
00:21:39,130 --> 00:21:41,190
I was watching them the whole
time. [ Breathes deeply ]
460
00:21:41,210 --> 00:21:45,100
[ Whispering ] Shhh!
We just got them down!
461
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:46,209
Can I go in the bouncy house?
462
00:21:46,230 --> 00:21:49,120
With you guys?
-Let's get in that bounce house.
463
00:21:49,140 --> 00:21:51,130
As a family!
464
00:21:51,150 --> 00:21:55,190
[ Laughter ]
465
00:21:55,210 --> 00:21:57,220
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
tell me more about this
466
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,050
universal basic income.
467
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:04,059
[ Electronic dance music plays ]
468
00:22:04,079 --> 00:22:06,129
Hey, man, you do you.
469
00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:16,100
♪♪
470
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:26,059
♪♪
471
00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:36,009
♪♪
472
00:22:36,029 --> 00:22:45,209
♪♪
473
00:22:45,230 --> 00:22:55,200
♪♪
31777
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