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1
00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:04,308
Oh, hey. Welcome.
2
00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:06,310
I'm just video-chatting
with Oscar.
3
00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:07,790
I met him at a club
and I asked him out
4
00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:09,966
because a-that's how I roll.
5
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,272
OSCAR [over phone]:
Let me see your kitchen.
6
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:13,361
Um, here we are.
7
00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:17,756
There's the fridge, the range.
8
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,716
-Nice.
-Yeah, and not to brag,
but I own my own island.
9
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:23,284
North side of the island's
a pretty chill vibe,
10
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:26,896
but on the south side
of the island, people get crazy.
11
00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,159
[chuckles]:
Very tropical.
12
00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:30,595
Where to next, my captain?
13
00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:33,729
Ooh, let me show you
my outdoor space.
14
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,426
[bird cooing]
15
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:39,082
This is my favorite part
of the apartment.
16
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,432
-Nice view.
-Yeah, it is a nice view.
17
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,739
Sometimes I like to lean over
and look down into my café.
18
00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:46,568
It makes me feel proud.
Can you see the front?
19
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:48,570
-Uh, not yet.
-Oh.
20
00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:51,138
Um, can you see,
there's, like, a...
21
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,835
there's, like,
a cat statue by the door?
22
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,315
I can't quite tell.
23
00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:55,925
[grunts]
Okay. Hang on.
24
00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:57,492
Just... Whoa!
25
00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,059
-[soft thud]
-[bird coos]
26
00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:00,495
Oh, my gosh, are you okay?
27
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:02,932
All good, landed on the awning.
28
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:05,108
Looking a bird dead in the eye.
Freaking out a little bit.
29
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:06,675
I can see it. Shoo, bird!
30
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,242
Shoo, bird!
31
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,810
♪
32
00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:17,599
Wait, wait, wait.
What do you mean
33
00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:19,818
you don't shower
after you get out of the pool?
34
00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:21,777
Do you shower
after you take a bath?
35
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,779
I would if my bathtub
was open to the public.
36
00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:26,129
I would if someone
peed in my bathtub.
37
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:27,739
Thanks for joining in.
38
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,133
See you Friday? Oh,
39
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:32,092
and not to get you too excited,
40
00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:34,746
but I got you a little something
for our six-month anniversary.
41
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,574
Well, not to get you
too excited,
42
00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:39,360
but I got you
a little something-something.
43
00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:41,884
Oh, two somethings?
44
00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:44,191
Yeah, I'm worth it.
45
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:46,018
[laughs]
Bye.
46
00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:47,933
Uh-oh.
47
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:49,892
-What's wrong?
-I didn't get him
a something-something,
48
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,241
I got him a nothing-nothing.
49
00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:52,764
Because who gives a gift
50
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:54,331
for your six-month
dating anniversary?
51
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,290
It's sweet. He really likes you.
52
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,379
Hmm, I just hope he's not
one of those lame-ass people
53
00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:00,468
that also celebrates
his half-birthday.
54
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:02,122
Yeah, so lame.
55
00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:04,036
I'm not just saying that
'cause my half birthday
56
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,343
falls on Christmas
and no one ever remembers.
57
00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:09,390
Have you noticed
that there's a big old sag
58
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:11,043
in the awning?
59
00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:12,958
Oh, well, Phil,
sometimes awnings have sags.
60
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:14,830
It doesn't mean
something happened.
61
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:17,441
But it's a big old sag.
Like a piano fell from the sky.
62
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:18,790
Okay, Let it go, Phil.
63
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:21,880
-[phone chimes]
-Oh, goody.
64
00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:24,100
Oscar and I are on for tonight.
65
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,276
-Ooh, what are you guys doing?
-Just watching a movie
at my place.
66
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,539
Look at you,
taking things to the next level.
67
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:31,194
What level? Movie level?
I-Is that a level?
68
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:33,196
Well, nowadays, watching
a movie on someone's couch
69
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,764
is kind of code
for definitely not
70
00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:37,809
watching a movie
on someone's couch.
71
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:40,682
Wait, what? I have never
heard of that before.
72
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:43,119
Yeah, it came
as a surprise to me, too.
73
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,514
Henry came over last week
to watch Casablanca.
74
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:51,214
By the time we got to the love
scene, we were the love scene.
75
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:53,869
And we played it again.
76
00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:57,133
Well, uh, this is just
our first date.
77
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,483
And-and I'm a "sex
on the first date" virgin.
78
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,790
Not a virgin-virgin,
you know, just so you know.
79
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:04,314
Uh, yeah, thank you
for clearing that up. [chuckles]
80
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:07,099
I'm changing it to dinner, out,
at a restaurant,
81
00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:08,927
where they have
a strict policy: you know,
82
00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:11,234
no shoes, no shirt, no sex.
83
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,932
Okay, let's do a little thing.
84
00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:16,544
Imagine Oscar
with no clothes on.
85
00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:17,893
How does that make you feel?
86
00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:19,111
Warm.
87
00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:22,811
Exactly.
So why rule it out?
88
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,770
I just wasn't raised to move
so quickly in relationships.
89
00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:28,251
My mother taught me
to take it slow.
90
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,645
♪ If you give the man
your milk♪
91
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,821
♪ He won't want to buy the cow♪
92
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:37,260
♪ And you'll make God cry.♪
93
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,610
That is some
old-fashioned thinking.
94
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:42,309
Sex isn't about rules,
it's about chemistry.
95
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,615
Hmm.
I do like chemistry.
96
00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:46,356
All those beakers and flasks.
97
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,141
The Bunsen burner,
the eyeball rinse.
98
00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:52,188
Okay. Look, Kat,
I'm just saying that
99
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,756
if things are going well,
just don't rule it out.
100
00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:57,149
'Cause I guarantee you,
29-year-old Oscar
101
00:03:57,193 --> 00:03:59,021
will definitely be
thinking about it.
102
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,370
I'm with Randi on this.
103
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:01,980
You got to go
for what you want.
104
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:04,722
After all, you could
walk outside tomorrow
105
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,724
and get hit by a meteor.
106
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:09,031
Maybe that's what happened
to the awning.
107
00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:13,122
Hey, hey.
Just here for my lunch.
108
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:14,863
Yeah, it'll be right out.
109
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,821
Oh, I forgot to ask you,
would you like sliced onions,
110
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:19,302
diced onions, or caramelized
onions with that veggie burger?
111
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:20,956
Uh, no onions, thank you.
112
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:23,088
Yeah, that's not an option.
113
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,003
I got a new produce vendor
and those geniuses sent me
114
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:27,528
a pallet of onions when I was
only supposed to get a box.
115
00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:30,748
So you've found yourself
in a bit of an onion pickle?
116
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:33,316
-Or maybe an onion jam?
-[laughs]
117
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,579
Am I laughing?
I'm not laughing.
118
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:36,928
They're not
charging me for them,
119
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,408
but they're not
taking them back.
120
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,192
Well, I'll take a box
off your hands.
121
00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:42,673
I'll make my Grandma Silver's
famous onion relish.
122
00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,153
Oh, I have a recipe
for onion relish, too.
123
00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:45,807
It's been in our
family for generations.
124
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,548
Much like dry elbows.
125
00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:50,377
Uh, might I suggest
we jar relish together?
126
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,379
I would relish that idea.
How 'bout tonight?
127
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,990
Uh, I can't tonight.
I have a-a thing tonight.
128
00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,121
A date.
129
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:58,907
Oh. Oh, yeah?
With who?
130
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:01,605
Um, that guy Oscar.
From the pancake place.
131
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,868
Remember that night
we both met people?
132
00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:06,175
So, uh, what's going on
with you and Birdie, by the way?
133
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,351
Oh, nothing.
That was just pancakes.
134
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:11,572
Yeah.
With a lot of syrup.
135
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,182
My bad.
136
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,837
So, I'll, uh, text you
137
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,447
about doing the relish thing.
If that's okay?
138
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,275
Of course it's okay.
Why wouldn't it be okay?
139
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,668
Are we okay?
140
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:22,583
-Uh, yeah, of course we're okay.
-Okay.
141
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:23,975
I'll look forward to the text.
142
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:25,716
Oh!
And here is my takeout,
143
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,937
which I am going to take out,
as the name implies.
144
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,155
Have fun.
145
00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:31,418
I mean, on your date.
146
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:33,289
Not just eating your lunch.
147
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,812
Yeah, that's what
I assumed you meant.
148
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:36,031
You too, have fun.
149
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,989
I will do my best.
150
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,382
Dude, you're acting weird.
151
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,819
-No, I'm not.
-Yeah you are.
152
00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:44,474
You're smile-talking.
My son used to do that
153
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,302
when I'd asked him
if he used the potty.
154
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,957
Nine times out of ten,
I'd find a turd on the floor.
155
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,134
And I think it's because
you got a little rejected there.
156
00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:55,224
And I don't think that tall
handsome guy is used to that.
157
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,400
[scoffs]
What are you talking about?
158
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,837
You wanted to make relish.
She wasn't available.
159
00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:01,665
Seems like
the tables have turned.
160
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:04,276
Don't you have something
to do in the back?
161
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,148
And I would also like to
point out that "making relish"
162
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,324
sounds like a euphemism for sex.
163
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,718
I've got a keen ear
for such things.
164
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,850
♪
165
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:16,245
♪ It ain't my fault that
I'm out here getting loose♪
166
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,334
♪ Gotta blame it on the Goose♪
167
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:21,032
♪ Gotta blame it
on my juice, baby♪
168
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:24,296
-♪ It ain't my fault that I'm out here making news
♪
-Hey!
169
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:26,298
♪ I'm the pudding in the proof♪
170
00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:28,518
♪ Gotta blame it
on my juice...♪
171
00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,828
[song stops]
172
00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:36,396
Seems like you're ready
for your big date.
173
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,310
I just came up
for an outfit check.
174
00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:40,182
Oh, you don't have to tell me
I look good, because I know
175
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,184
I look good. Do you know how I
know? Because I feel good.
176
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:45,361
I feel like Lizzo,
Gloria Steinem and Marie Curie
177
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,797
all rolled into one.
178
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,451
Well, I think
those women would have
179
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:51,062
taken off their
mustache tape by now.
180
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:53,064
Oh, my gosh.
I forgot I still had it on.
181
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:56,372
I used to help my mama with hers
at the end of every winter.
182
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,461
It's only supposed to be on
a few seconds.
183
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,332
I just told you
I forgot I had it on.
184
00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:01,595
Well, how long has it been?
185
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,205
I don't know.
186
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:05,163
I listened to that Lizzo song,
like, six times.
187
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,687
Six times!
188
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,124
-I know what to do.
-Ow. No.
189
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,517
You can't pull it off fast.
190
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:11,779
Promise me you won't
pull it fast.
191
00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:13,520
I won't pull it fast.
192
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,478
Is this gonna be one of those
things where you say
193
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:16,914
you won't pull it off fast,
but then you pull it off fast?
194
00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:19,874
No, I promise.
I won't pull it fast.
195
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,484
Good, because I don't know
where my skin ends
196
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,617
and this thing begins.
197
00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:27,272
Oh! Oh, Phil! Oh...
198
00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:29,797
We both knew how this
was gonna go down.
199
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,320
We both knew.
200
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:43,724
Everything okay?
201
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,465
Uh-huh.
202
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,205
That's just how I eat soup.
203
00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:52,080
No, actually, I...
I need to tell you something.
204
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:53,516
-Is it about your upper lip?
-It's about my upper lip.
205
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,910
Yeah. Um...
206
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:59,522
I'm a mentor to a group
of wayward girls.
207
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,742
And I was teaching
them how to toast marshmallows,
208
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:03,395
and they were like,
"Marshmallow fight!"
209
00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:05,528
And I was like,
"No, that's dangerous."
210
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,400
But they didn't listen,
and an on-fire marshmallow...
211
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:10,794
[pops lips]
...stuck to my face.
212
00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:12,579
Sorry about that.
213
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,363
It actually looks like
when my sisters would
214
00:08:14,406 --> 00:08:17,671
wax their mustaches
and leave the wax on too long.
215
00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:20,891
Or... that's exactly
what happened.
216
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:24,242
And when I said that
they would wax their mustaches,
217
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:26,288
what I mean is that
I would wax their mustaches
218
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:28,290
because they were too afraid
to pull it off themselves.
219
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:30,074
[laughs] But you can't
pull it off yourself.
220
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,380
Like, your hand won't let you.
221
00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:33,382
Yeah, that's what they said.
222
00:08:33,425 --> 00:08:36,385
That's really sweet that you
would do that for your sisters.
223
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:38,300
I'm actually an only child,
which I always hated,
224
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:41,042
'cause there was no one to
go first or learn anything from.
225
00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:42,304
You also didn't
have anyone constantly
226
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:44,001
getting in your business.
227
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:47,352
My sisters keep texting me
asking how this is going.
228
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,833
[chuckles]
Good question.
229
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:52,575
So, how is it going?
230
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,403
I think it's going great.
231
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:57,101
By the way, I've never
had a woman ask me out before.
232
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,582
Couple of dudes,
but never a woman.
233
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:02,629
Well, I want to hear those
stories, so hold that thought.
234
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:06,241
Because right now, this woman
is going to the woman's room.
235
00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:07,459
[chuckles]
236
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:09,984
Oh! Oh! Sorry.
237
00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:11,812
-Sorry. Sorry about that.
-Oh, here...
238
00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:15,555
-Thank you. Thank you.
-Sorry.
239
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,647
This reminds me of when
we met and you punched me.
240
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:22,126
Yeah.
[chuckles]
241
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,304
Okay on your lip?
242
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,393
Um...
243
00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:29,960
you'll have to
do it again to see.
244
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,614
Like, right now.
245
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:32,833
Like, do it.
246
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:41,189
From here on out, you can
address me as Queen Randi,
247
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:43,495
Ruler of Dope Gifts
248
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,454
for Dope Boyfriends.
249
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:46,934
Good evening, Your Majesty.
250
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,153
We are not worthy.
251
00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:52,504
[laughs] I paid my brother
to stand in line for four hours
252
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:53,897
for these new release sneakers.
253
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,682
And not that gift-giving
is a competition,
254
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:57,858
but I just won.
255
00:09:57,901 --> 00:10:00,730
Ooh! Well, those are fly.
Can I be your boyfriend next?
256
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,340
Uh, no.
257
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:05,256
Damn. These are my size.
And my style.
258
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,345
Hey, don't drool
on Daniel's shoes.
259
00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:10,131
You cannot give those shoes
to your man.
260
00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:11,611
Randi, have you not
heard the saying,
261
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,700
"If you give your lover shoes,
262
00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:15,702
they'll use them to walk away"?
263
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:18,400
I have not heard that saying.
But I have heard the saying,
264
00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:19,836
"Step on a crack,
break your mama's back."
265
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,056
So does that mean
you don't step on cracks?
266
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,666
Funny thing about that,
I actually
267
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,755
-went to school with a guy...
-No, uh-uh.
268
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:28,105
Well, I've never heard the shoe
thing, but now that I think
269
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,890
about it, the last gift
that I gave Stephanie before
270
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:32,675
she asked for a separation
was a pair of espadrilles.
271
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:35,286
Well the receipt says
"non-refundable"
272
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,853
and "superstitions
aren't real,"
273
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:39,769
so my boo is gonna be kickin' it
in his new kicks.
274
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:42,337
♪ And he will walk 500 miles♪
275
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:45,949
♪ Just to get away
from your front door.♪
276
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,385
Give me those.
277
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:48,952
I don't really believe that,
I just
278
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,432
thought of the song
and wanted to sing it.
279
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,216
Mm-hmm.
280
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,566
-[vocalizing
"I'm Gonna Be [500 Miles]"]
-Oh!
281
00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:57,874
[vocalizing continues]
282
00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:09,451
So...
283
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,583
did we kiss while merging
onto the freeway?
284
00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:12,889
We did.
285
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,369
-Was that safe?
-I don't know.
286
00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:15,892
I had my eyes closed.
287
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,198
[laughs]
288
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:20,723
Um, so...
289
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:24,771
I just want you
to know that, um...
290
00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:26,163
I'm feeling really good.
291
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,251
Me, too.
292
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:28,862
Like we have chemistry.
293
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:30,211
Same.
294
00:11:30,254 --> 00:11:31,734
So...
295
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:34,302
I'm totally on board
for first-date sex.
296
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,174
[voice squeaks]:
Uh... okay.
297
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:38,959
I-I mean, like, if you are.
298
00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:41,178
I just thought, like, guys think
about sex all the time.
299
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:42,353
No.
300
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,920
We think about other stuff, too.
301
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,835
But now I'm just thinking
about sex.
302
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,664
Great. Let me, uh...
303
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,361
show you to the bedroom.
304
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:58,108
Hey, beautiful.
What took you so long?
305
00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:02,722
You know, actually, I...
I might like to walk off dinner.
306
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:05,028
I like to do a full circle
around the living room
307
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,682
before entering the bedroom.
308
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,336
You know, get the, uh,
get the old blood pumping
309
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:10,294
before we get the blood pumping.
310
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,514
Are you having second thoughts?
Because we can totally wait.
311
00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:14,516
[chuckles]:
No. I'm fine, I'm fine.
312
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:15,952
Just give me a minute.
313
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:18,476
I'm gonna freshen up,
as ladies do.
314
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,304
No problem.
I'll, uh, be out here,
315
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:23,568
looking at my phone,
as... men do.
316
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:27,355
You saw Max in my bedroom
as well, right?
317
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:28,878
Okay.
318
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,666
Okay, you need
to get it together, lady.
319
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:36,407
You are way into Oscar,
320
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,627
so it makes no sense that
you should be thinking about Max
321
00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,716
at a time like this.
322
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,110
SHEILA:
♪ If you give the man
your milk♪
323
00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,982
♪ He won't want
to buy the cow.♪
324
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,418
Mother, get out of here.
325
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:49,638
There is no point
in these crazy thoughts.
326
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:51,640
Max's heart
will forever belong to me.
327
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:53,947
Go play
with your cute Oscar boy.
328
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,557
Who are you?
329
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,080
Oh, this is
Max's ex-girlfriend Brigitte,
330
00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:58,386
who lives in my mind.
331
00:12:58,429 --> 00:12:59,866
She makes me nuts,
332
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:00,910
but I'm also trying
to learn from her.
333
00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:02,303
I'm with you, Kat.
334
00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:03,739
I would hold out
indefinitely for me.
335
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,393
You know, just in case.
336
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,699
'Cause... it's me.
337
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:08,962
[knocking]
338
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,441
OSCAR:
Everything okay in there?
339
00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:11,965
Uh, yeah. Be right out.
340
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,531
Not doing anything weird
in here.
341
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:14,968
Just, uh, brushing my teeth.
342
00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:16,926
Then you're gonna need this.
343
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,842
Carter, why are you here?
344
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,931
To point out that you do make
a lot of excuses to come over
345
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:24,151
to the bar in the middle
of the day to hang out with Max.
346
00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:25,805
Good point.
347
00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:27,807
No, I don't.
348
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:31,071
Oh. So it's to hang out
with me, then?
349
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:35,553
[exhales]
350
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,426
You are
an optimistic human woman
351
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,863
who has the opportunity
to have some intimate fun
352
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:42,909
with your cute Oscar boy.
353
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:45,041
Don't mess this up.
354
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:46,521
[exhales]
355
00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:51,613
I'm ready.
[chuckles]
356
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,745
[sighs, chuckles]
357
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,747
Let's do this, Max.
358
00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:58,620
Who's Max?
359
00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,143
I'm sorry, what?
360
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:03,016
♪
361
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:06,497
It's the jalapeño that gives it
the unexpected kick.
362
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:08,804
Cool.
363
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,066
Are you okay?
364
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,633
Uh-huh.
365
00:14:11,676 --> 00:14:13,678
How was the date?
366
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:15,289
Uh...
367
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,986
Something happen?
368
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:18,640
Kind of.
369
00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,729
Something good?
370
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,383
Not really.
371
00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:26,604
You know, actually,
you might have a take on this.
372
00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:28,171
Maybe. Lay it on me.
373
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:29,912
Well, uh...
374
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:33,089
Oscar and I were having
a lovely dinner, and...
375
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,962
then we came back here, things
were getting kind of steamy,
376
00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:38,181
and I went to say
his name and...
377
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,618
accidentally called him
something else.
378
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:42,925
Something offensive?
379
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:44,361
No. Just...
380
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:45,754
another name.
381
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:47,060
A guy's name.
382
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:48,757
That was not his.
383
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,324
Oh, boy.
Yeah, I could see how that
384
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,934
would throw a little water
on the campfire.
385
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,415
[chuckles]
Could've used a little water.
386
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:57,200
Could see the smoke coming off
his shoes as he ran out of here.
387
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:01,726
So... whose name was it?
388
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:04,120
I'm not telling you.
That's not important.
389
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:05,905
That part doesn't matter.
390
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:07,471
Was it mine?
391
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:09,038
What?!
392
00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,387
Well, otherwise
you would've just told me.
393
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:11,562
No! Gosh.
394
00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,695
You can be such a narcissist.
395
00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:16,263
[chuckles]
It was yours.
396
00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:18,395
Okay.
397
00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:19,875
I mean,
I'm sure you're freaked out.
398
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,137
If you want to leave,
that's fine.
399
00:15:21,181 --> 00:15:22,617
You know, men seem to love
400
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:24,314
just running out
of my apartment lately.
401
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,838
I'm not freaked out.
I mean, I'm also not comfortable
402
00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:29,406
with the way
you're waving that knife around.
403
00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:32,148
Kat, I'm sorry
that that happened.
404
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,802
But I'm glad that you told me.
405
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:35,804
I mean,
it actually kind of makes sense
406
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,588
that you would say my name
at a time like that.
407
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,416
-Really?
-Yeah.
408
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,853
Look, you're with this new guy
who you liked,
409
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,899
but maybe, on a deeper level,
410
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,423
you want to be with somebody
who you know really well,
411
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:47,990
somebody you trust.
412
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,733
Like me.
413
00:15:51,776 --> 00:15:53,953
You're so right.
414
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,956
It had nothing to do with you.
415
00:15:56,999 --> 00:16:00,089
It had to do
with how well I know you.
416
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:01,786
I am not a sex-on-the-first-date
kind of person.
417
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,397
I need to take a step back
with Oscar
418
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,789
and just get to know him better.
419
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:07,053
I'm gonna go call him
right now.
420
00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:08,576
-Max?
-Yeah?
421
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:09,794
Thank you so much.
422
00:16:09,838 --> 00:16:11,622
It's just, it's really nice
423
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,842
to be able to share this stuff
with you.
424
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:16,932
I'll tell you exactly
what he said after we talk.
425
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,979
Glad I could help.
426
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,463
♪
427
00:16:28,465 --> 00:16:30,641
-What's wrong with her?
-I don't know.
428
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,687
She's been like that
for two minutes.
429
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:35,168
I was about
to start dusting her.
430
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:36,908
Randi, are you okay?
431
00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:38,214
Uh...
432
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,781
I just don't know what to do.
433
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:41,696
I was on my way
to give Daniel his gift,
434
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,437
but now I have it stuck
in my head
435
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,265
that if I give him shoes,
that's bad luck.
436
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:47,528
Oh, yeah, you can't give him
shoes-- he'll walk away.
437
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,921
It's just a silly superstition.
438
00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:52,185
Or, as I call it,
a "shoe-perstition."
439
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:54,622
Okay, was going for
a smile there.
440
00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,189
It didn't work.
441
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,886
Well, I don't believe
in shoe-perstitions,
442
00:16:57,929 --> 00:17:00,280
or superstitions,
but Daniel and I
443
00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,064
are about to move in together.
444
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,284
So what if I move in with him,
and then all of a sudden
445
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,025
we start fighting all the time?
446
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,939
And then I start going
through his phone,
447
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:09,376
finding all these texts from
this woman that he works with,
448
00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:10,986
but they don't sound
like work texts.
449
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,293
And then all of a sudden
I'm sitting around going,
450
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,860
"I shouldn't have given him
them damn shoes."
451
00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:17,514
Then do not give him
those shoes.
452
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:20,343
In fact, burn them
and throw the ashes in the river
453
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:23,781
and wash that bad juju
out of your life.
454
00:17:23,825 --> 00:17:26,001
Okay, Phil.
455
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,047
Yeah, let's just take shoes
out of the equation.
456
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,613
We'll find another present.
457
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:31,180
Uh, hey.
458
00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:33,269
Buttons' skin condition
just cleared up.
459
00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:35,097
He's ready for adoption.
460
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,099
Come on, cats fix everything.
461
00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,188
[high-pitched]:
Happy six-month anniversary,
Daniel!
462
00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:42,061
[chuckles]
Look, I'm already wrapped--
in fur!
463
00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:44,846
-Oh, honey, she is not amused.
-No.
464
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:46,935
♪
465
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:50,112
[imitates cheering crowd,
laughs]
466
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:52,375
Hey, uh, thanks
for being so understanding
467
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:53,898
about the Max thing.
468
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:55,422
We're just,
we're really good friends.
469
00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:56,945
You'd probably actually
get along well.
470
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,078
I'm sure we would... Donna.
471
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,470
Oh. Ha-ha!
472
00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:02,385
I see what you did there, Oscar.
473
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:03,865
Wait. I don't know
your middle name.
474
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:05,171
Do you have a middle name?
475
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:06,389
Bruno.
476
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:08,391
Oscar Bruno Martinez.
477
00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:10,654
Katherine Edith Silver.
478
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:12,613
See, that's what I wanted.
479
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,615
Just, like, a...
like, a sex-free chance...
480
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,660
to get to know
each other better.
481
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:19,402
That sounds like a good plan,
because I really like you.
482
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:21,752
Oh. Not sure
how much you're gonna like me
483
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,885
when I wipe the floor with you.
484
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:26,627
Not gonna lie,
it's hot when you talk trash.
485
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,672
Oh, really?
Would it be hot if I said
486
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,979
you should stay off the court
and stick to dancing around
487
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:33,155
in your little mascot costume?
488
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:34,809
That is, like,
really, really sexy.
489
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,463
It's a little hurtful,
but it's sexy.
490
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:38,334
[laughs]
491
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:39,466
Is it gonna be sexy if I try
and steal the ball from you?
492
00:18:44,993 --> 00:18:46,908
Wait, is kissing allowed
while we're getting
493
00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,562
-to know each other?
-[laughs] Absolutely.
494
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:50,999
Oh.
495
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:53,567
Oh, I see.
You're deceptive and sneaky.
496
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,177
I'm learning new things
about you.
497
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,528
[whoops]
498
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,973
Happy six month anniversary.
499
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,323
This...
500
00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:11,672
is for you.
501
00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:13,543
Ooh.
[chuckles]
502
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:15,850
Onions.
503
00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:17,547
Kind of weird.
504
00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:19,201
Kind of like something
you get somebody as a gift
505
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,898
during the Great Depression.
506
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:22,900
Well, it's symbolic
for relationships.
507
00:19:22,944 --> 00:19:25,338
You keep peeling back the layers
to get what you need,
508
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,383
and they get sweeter
when you heat them up.
509
00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:29,777
And I also brought some eggs,
510
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,692
cream and mushrooms,
because I'm gonna make you
511
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:34,173
a mean onion frittata
tomorrow morning.
512
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:37,828
Because after tonight,
you're gonna be hungry.
513
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:39,961
I was skeptical at first,
but I'm coming around
514
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:41,615
-to this onion gift.
-[laughs]
515
00:19:41,658 --> 00:19:43,660
-I got you
a little something, too.
-Oh.
516
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,360
Sneakers?
517
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:49,927
My mom used to say,
"Give your lover shoes,
518
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:52,147
they'll forever walk
by your side."
519
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,758
It's kind of hard to hear
your mama use the word "lover,"
520
00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:57,326
But I always liked
the sentiment.
521
00:19:57,370 --> 00:20:00,242
Me, too. I can't wait
to share it with my friends.
522
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:02,766
-[chuckles]
-Thank you.
523
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,901
You know what?
I am gonna send them a picture
524
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:10,165
of these right now.
[laughs]
525
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,516
♪ But I would walk 500 miles♪
526
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,519
♪ And I would walk 500 more♪
527
00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:17,999
♪ Just to be the man♪
528
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:21,176
♪ Who walked a thousand miles♪
529
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,309
♪ To fall down at your door...♪
530
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:25,702
Here are your chicken wings.
531
00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,530
They look like onion rings.
532
00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:30,054
Fried food is fried food.
533
00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:33,188
He's right.
534
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,495
We'll just dip them
in something.
535
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:40,630
♪ But I would walk 500 miles♪
536
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:44,286
♪ And I would walk 500 more♪
537
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:48,334
♪ Just to be the man
who walked a thousand miles♪
538
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:50,510
Now, don't be jealous.
They're just friends.
539
00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:52,773
The only thing I'm jealous of
is his shoes.
540
00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:54,601
DANIEL:
I know.
541
00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:56,429
Those are dope.
I've been trying to get a pair,
542
00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:58,039
but I can't find them anywhere.
543
00:20:58,082 --> 00:21:01,347
Well, I guess you
just weren't meant to have them.
544
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:03,740
[Kat and Max vocalizing]
545
00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:04,741
♪ Yeah♪
546
00:21:04,785 --> 00:21:06,439
[vocalizing]
547
00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:12,967
♪ But I would walk♪
548
00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:15,622
♪ 500 miles♪
549
00:21:15,665 --> 00:21:18,581
♪ And I would walk 500 more♪
550
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:21,236
♪ Just to be the man
who walked♪
551
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,977
♪ A thousand miles♪
552
00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:24,587
♪ To fall down♪
553
00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:27,634
[tempo slowing]:
♪ At your door...♪
38254
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