Original subtitles

No, please, Lucy, listen to me.

If you think that I don't know that I have faults, you're wrong.

I know them all. I've made a list...

Please, Lucy. What?

I'm a total fucker. What?

I'm selfish. I only think about myself.

Simon, no. Stop! Listen, it's not your fault.

It really isn't. Hi!

No. We're grand. We were finishing up, anyway.

So, right. I'll see you around, Simon.

If you'll give me half an hour or 40 minutes...

Listen, we're late already. Aren't we?

Really late. Bye.

I thought it was all off since Tuesday.

It was. He asked to see me again.

I don't know how you do it, Luce. What?

Look in there. He's crying.

My own sister can make a grown man cry

in a Temple Bar coffee shop.

Well, I nearly cried, too.

Oh, you know I'm not one for crying.

It doesn't mean I don't feel things.

Simon is a fool, but he's kind of harmless, and you just... ohh!

[laughter]

I mean, seriously, Lucy, all these fellas,

well, the madness, the release of...

Shut up.

A big spiritual, physical, hopping-off-the-walls

in-a-mad-frenzy kind of thing.

Come on, Laura. For all your talk, what do you do?

You haven't bothered going out with anyone since last year,

and the last one was that ridiculous bearded guy who drank...

Bernard.

It's all in your head. You never do anything.

That's the difference.

Ah, well.

[both]Cheers.

[Lucy] Is that OK for now?

[man]But how about a song? Come on, give us a song.

Ah, if you like, yeah.

[playing piano]

They're begging me to sing, Andy.

[applause]

Someday, he'll come along

The man I love...

He will. I know he will.

And he'll be big and strong...

No, don't worry. I'm not interested.

There's another. Oh, maybe Laura was right.

I just can't make my mind up. I mean, they're nice boys.

Well, most of them,

but, you know, sometimes you just wish a new face would pop up and...

Still, I'm gonna Oh! We meet him one daythat.

Maybe Tuesday will be

My good news day...

Hands off, Maria. I saw him first.

...home

From which we'll never roam

Who would?

Would you?

Is he really that shy, I wonder. Hmm.

Well, I suppose it's nice for a change.

For the man I love

[woman] Good on you, Luce! e]

OK, here goes.

So, do you want to order, or are you waiting for someone?

Uh, sorry?

Are you ready to order?

Oh, yeah. I thought you were a singer.

[laughs] Well, it depends on how you look at it.

I'm either a singer who does a bit of waitressing

or a waitress that does a bit of singing.

I don't know what I am myself.

You're a really good singer.

Yeah?

Thank you.

So, did you want to eat or not?

Oh, yeah. Um... yes, please.

corn-fed chicken's very good.

Oh. OK, fine.

OK. And wine? What do you like, red or white?

I recommend the house red, but if you prefer white...

Corn-fed chicken. House red.

Great. I like a man who can make up his own mind.

Ha-ha! Gotcha..

Hi. Hi! You're off.

I hope you enjoyed your meal.

Ohh... it was fantastic.

Can't he see he only has to ask?

Come on. How shy can you be?

Oh, for God's sake.

So, um... could I see you again?

Meet you maybe?

Wow. Yeah, I'd love to.

I'm Lucy, by the way.

Hello, Lucy. I'm, um...

[giggles]You can't remember your own name?

Um, no. I'm-I'm Adam.

Will you call me? Have you a pen?

Yeah.

I'm delighted you asked me.

I was, um...

I don't know. It's weird.

I just felt something was happening.

Something is, maybe.

OK. I'll phone you soon, then...

Adam.

Bye. Bye.

[phone ringing]

Lucy, are you getting that? Yeah.

Pick it up, so.

I will, yeah.

Well, go on.

Fair enough. He'll ring off if you don't.

Mum!

Hello?

Hello.

Oh, hi, hi. So you got my message.

Yeah, I got them all. It was brilliant.

Right. Well, see, I wasn't sure if...

It's really hard talking to those things, isn't it?

[giggling]

Lucy, shut up! You sound like a horse on acid.

So, anyway, um...

Hello, are you still there?

Still here.

Oh, good, yeah. So, let's meet up tomorrow.

I'll call round, pick you up in the car.

Is that bad?

No. Fine. Lovely.

So, call here half-seven, then.

Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah.

Yeah.

Put... the phone... down.

Bye!

That seemed to go all right.

Were you nervous? Mum!

Only asking. You sounded a wee bit nervous.

That's all. That's not like you.

He's calling here to collect me tomorrow.

He has a car.

Oh, that's lovely.

Mind? Of course I don't. Little Jeanie.

I'll collect her tomorrow, then. Oh, a cake.

I didn't forget somebody's birthday, did I?

How about mine for the last 20 years?

Lucy's new fella's calling. I got in a bit of cake.

Jesus, you go through them. Fair cheers to you.

Right. We're going.

Ah, don't go yet.

Yes, go. I wish you'd all just feck off.

But we live here, Luce. We've nowhere to feck off to.

Now, the boy offered to come and pick her up in his car.

On a first date! Imagine!

He's only giving her bad habits, if you ask me.

We should make him welcome, huh?

Looks like we're going to get to meet

this week's winning entry after all.

Oh... forget it. Forget it.

Hello. Oh, thank you!

Hope you don't think it's naff.

Oh, no. No way. Listen, I hope you don't mind.

Some of my family are here... all of them, actually...

and... well, would you mind meeting them?

Only for a second, and then we cSure. That'd be nice.way.

Would you like a bit of cake?

It's only a bought cake. I haven't baked in years.

Alice, my eldest daughter and her husband...

I'll be right back.

And this is my baby. Both my babies.

Which one? How you doing?

And, of course, poor Laura.

I admit it. I was amazed.

He's nothing like anyone you've ever gone out with before.

Told you. So what's the change?

I'm maturing.

Even his name, it's so not you.

It's so primal. Adam.

Yeah, it's a crap name, all right.

And he reads. He can quote Christina Rossetti.

Oh. What'd he do that for?

It came up. She's not exactly a household name as a poet,

so I have to say, I approve totally.

I just hope you're ready for whatever happens.

So... are you jealous?

Oh, come on. That's unfair.

Poor Laura. Of course she's not jealous.

Wouldn't it be deadly, though,

she's always going on about?

Hold on a sec. I just want to buy this.

Another book.

Doesn't she know books won't do it?

Listen, sis,

do you think Karen has some kind of a problem?

I mean, she doesn't even mind a bit that she's a virgin.

Now, what's that about?

I've been going out with her for three weeks.

She even has a flat all to herself, so it's perfectly safe.

That's a definition of safe sex I haven't heard before.

Yeah. Yeah, well, it's a pain.

I bet you and Adam did it.

No, we didn't.

No way.

Way, I'm tellin' you. Not that I'd mind if he had.

So, do you fancy him, too?

He's a bit quiet for my taste, now.

Maybe I'm wrong. Am I?

Why don't you ask Adam? He just works down here.

No, I'm asking you.

Sisters are supposed to confide in each other about these things.

Well...

What? I don't know yet.

Oh, I Exactly. well. TAnyway, listen.n.

You mind your own business.

Absolutely.

So, are you coming in?

He's hanging a new exhibition today. He'd love you to see it.

No. I'll leave you to it. I'll catch you later.

All right.

Um...

you know...

I vaguely remember.

He seems really happy to leave it up to me.

It's kind of nice for a change.

Ah, now, are you falling in love, sparrow?

Ohh. Mm. you.

Mm, listen. You know when we make love the first time...

What?

No, no. I mean whenever, you know?

Well, I just wanted to let you know

I want to leave it all I don't get you, Adam.

Everything. You know, when and where,

the circumstances.

I want it to happen...

I want it to be exactly the way you'd like it to be.

Is that OK?

I'll think about that.

Taller

Than the tallest tree is

That's how it's got to feel

Deeper

Than the deep blue sea is

If it's real

When somebody needs you

It's no good unless he needs you

All the way

Through the good and lean years

And all the in-between years

Come what may

Who knows where Only a fool could say

It's for sure B I'm gonna love you... ou

Oh, I love being out in the country.

Don't you?

Go away, you waster.

Oh, it was so invigorating, wasn't it, Adam?

Those winds, they just clean you out.

Brisk, was it?

You're not coming the next time,

and you're getting no choc ice.

[laughs]I could get used to this car.

Did you tell her the story, by the way?

No, I didn't. What?

Oh, the interesting things you find out

when you're out on a mountain stroll.

Tell me what?

Should we tell her? Yeah, what?

Even though he was very young when his mummy and daddy died,

Adam remembered as a little fella that when they went for walks,

they passed by this big, fancy car-sales place.

His dad had a big thing about this particular car.

A Jaguar.

"Just look at that Jag," he'd say.

I thought it must be the most wonderful thing in the world.

His dad was always promising his mum

that when they had a bit of money to splash out,

he'd buy her one.

Years after, when he turned 18

and got the bit of money that was left to him,

he used it all to buy this car...

to remember them by.

Adam...

why didn't you I don't know.

Oh, my.

Hey, how are you, man?

[laughing]

Ah, that young fella's a lovely drunk,

do you know that?

I think I'd have lasted with your father

if he hadn't been such a boring drunk.

And better looking.

I mean, look at that. [raspberry]

I feel sorry for Alice sometimes.

But you told her he was a great catch.

Did I? Yeah.

Jesus, what was I thinking? Oh, look at him now.

carry him upstairs, and tuck him into bed?

Mm, jump in after him.

Sorry, Mum.

I'm gonna go catch him before he falls.

Ooh. [giggling]

Hi.

Mm. Hey, I just promised Alice

that we'd baby-sit for her and Martin on Friday night, OK?

Oh, but I'm working Friday.

Uhh!

Ohh...

I'll do it alone. She's a lovely baby.

If you want. Alice will be very grateful.

She is. She's delighted.

Hi, sis.

Lucy! Lucy!

No, no. How are you?

Fine. I have to get changed.

I won't rush you. Listen, I'm trying out

some new material at the club tonight,

and I could put you on the guest list, no problem.

Thanks, Simon, but by the time I'm finished here...

Look, you don't even have to talk to me

I'd just love you to hear the material. Will you, please?

All right.

I'll see.

You all right?

Ok. Bye.

[audience laughing]

You know... I think we could all be happy if we wanted to be,

but we choose to be unhappy because it's more interesting.

'Cause there's nothing as boring as happiness.

Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy.

It's like a big, huge, strange road that goes on for miles

and all you can see in the distance is Germany.

That's how I first saw you, Simon.

Educated, but easily led women, I hope.

Ha! I thought you were like that in real life.

Oh, my God. Did I say the "L" word?

[Simon]Don't-Don't clap too loud...

[Alice] Hello?

Hello! Alice, are you back? Has Adam gone yet?

He's still here. Hold on. Adam, Lucy.

Hi. How did it go? Did Jean behave herself?

Yeah. What are you up to?

Just thought I'd call to say I'm thinking about you.

Oh, that's nice.

Can I tell you all about Adam?

Ooh, better than that stand-up comedian

with the shag-me- or-I-may-kill-myself look?

Ha-ha. Simon. Funny onstage. One-on-one, nightmare.

I know the feeling.

He's really shy, but, somehow, with me,

I think I brought him out of himself.

He's gorgeous, but had no self-confidence.

Tell us, are you going off on holidays together?

Wait'll I tell you the most fantastic thing he did.

In you go. Watch your head.

We've turned inland, and we're still heading south.

Are you sure?

[Lucy]Oh, it was exhilarating and sexy and completely confusing,

which, as you know, Andy, is a combination I like,

but I also liked when Adam finally brought me

to a perfect little romantic country hotel.

I suppose that's when I started to realize

the difference between this relationship

and all the others I had before.

Call it "in love" if you like,

call it more luck than I deserve

to meet a guy like Adam.

You fancy a weekend away?

Oh, Adam! [laughs]

It's beautiful.

My sister Laura would call it "a great passion."

[owl hoots]

Doesn't even cover it.

So, what do you think?

Fabulous. Really suits you.

No. About Adam.

What do you think from what I told you?

From what you've told me, send him this way.

He sounds like God's gift.

Yeah. He does sound right, doesn't he?

What's up with you? I've never seen you so nervous.

Let's just say I'm taking a bit of a leap into the unknown.

Just hope I don't make a complete idiot out of myself.

What could it be

You have the power to hypnotize me

Let me live 'neath your spell

Do do that voodoo that you do so well

For you do something to me

That nobody else can do

That nobody else can do

[cheers and applause]

Thank you. Thank you. All right. All right.

My family's here tonight, sitting at that table over there.

We're celebrating my mum's birthday today.

We all love you, Peggy Owens!

Ha-ha!

And there's a man down there in my crowd called Adam.

And he's my fella.

And I know my mum is mad about him,

would be to say that...

Oh, wait! No, no, no!

No, no! Wait, wait!

So, Adam...

I'm asking you now.

Will you marry me?

I'd love to.

[cheering]

Unbelievable!

I'm so happy.

Ha-ha-ha!

[crying]

Hello! Adam, is it?

Mrs. Owens.

Would you like a bit of cake?

It's only bought cake. I haven't baked in years.

But it's nice.

[Laura] Lucy said he was shy.

Doesn't look shy to me.

Oh, poor Mum.

So many boyfriends, and she tries so hard to like them all.

Even Martin.

Whatever else I do, I won't make that mistake.

Whatever else I do... nothing basically.

Right. Be nice.

Hello. I'm Adam.

Hello. Laura. The middle sister.

Yeah. Why?

It's strange. My favorite film is Laura.

Preminger's film? Yeah, I love it.

And a favorite poem of mine

has a girl called Laura in it.

I don't believe it.

You don't mean "Goblin Market"?

Yeah, that's it!

"She cried, 'Laura,' up the garden.

"'Did you miss me? Come and kiss me.

"'Never mind my bruises.

"'Hug me. Kiss me.

Suck my juices squeezed from goblin fruits for you.'"

Christina Rossetti.

No, I don't believe it.

"'Drink me. Love me, Laura.

"Make much of me.'"

Oh, this is... I'm doing my thesis on her.

Christina Rossetti?

Yes. Well, partly.

The actual title is,

"A Virginal Whore: The Tragic Dilemma of Victorian Women."

But, you know, I'm sort of filtering it through writers

like Christina Rossetti and all the Brontes, of course.

Well, I'm not an academic,

but I love the feeling of her...

the energy of it.

Absolutely!

You'll probably laugh at me now, but it's very...

It's very sexy.

Yeah, but in an entirely repressed form.

That's the whole point. That's what makes it so exciting.

Adam! I'm all yours.

OK. I'll be with you in a minute.

Bye, Laura.

I must read that poem again. It's been a while.

I'm surprised I remembered it.

Uh...

[Adam]Bye, Mrs. Owens.

Behave yourselves.

Hmm-hmm-hmm.

Well, isn't he very nice now, hmm?

I'm delighted to see her fixed up again.

She was very upset over Stephen.

Simon, Mother, and it only ended a few days ago.

Yes, but you know how Lucy likes company.

She can't amuse herself on her own like you can.

You're lucky that way.

Hello.

Hi.

Are you doing some research?

No. Not really.

Actually, I'm looking for the poem we talked about last night.

Great!

I thought I had it at home, but I couldn't seem to find it.

I'm sure they'll get it for you.

They're very helpful.

I'm practically living here at the moment,

trying to get this thesis sorted out in my head.

I'm sorry. I better go.

I'm sure I have the poem at home somewhere.

Adam, you all right?

Yeah. Listen...

I hope to see you very soon.

[crying]

Hi.

If this is none of my business, I can just go.

No, please.

Really. Yeah? You sure?

[sniffles]

This is just something... it happens once in a while.

I never know why, except maybe...

I don't know.

When I'm feeling some really strong emotion of some kind,

I get this flash.

It all comes back to me.

I mean, is it something...

would it be any use to talk or...?

Laura, can you keep a secret? No one else must know.

Of course, yeah.

Great. Thanks. Yeah.

My mother died when I was young.

Oh, God, no.

Too young to remember, even. That's not the thing.

But... so for years, it was just my dad and me.

Mm-hmm.

As soon as I was old enough to drive,

he taught me and made me do the test.

I passed it, and the very next day, he bought me this car.

Just like that?

Oh, yeah. Out of the blue.

I'd say he spent his last penny on it.

Then the day after that...

he disappeared, and I never heard from him again.

Oh, Adam, I'm so sorry.

I still don't know why he ran away.

I mean, I understand the sort of man he was.

He... he had great passion.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. He was always likely to do something extreme.

But I can't get rid of the fear that it was all my fault...

Oh, no, no! You must know that's not true!

That's why every so often, like now, I don't know...

This feeling wells up.

and always when I'm having...

What? What? What?!

Um... sorry.

I shouldn't let my own passions get the better of me.

Look, sorry. I know you've got work to do.

Oh, that's fine.

Maybe we could have a good chat sometime.

Of course. I would love that.

Do you know that I've actually got...

Are you sure?

Really. I'm fine.

Hug?

Work hard. I hope to see you very soon.

OK.

Bye.

Even his name, it's so not you.

It's primal. Adam.

Yeah. It's a crap name all right.

And he reads. He can quote Christina Rossetti.

Oh. What did he do that for?

It came up. She's not exactly a household name as a poet,

so I have to say I approve totally.

I just hope you're ready for whatever happens.

Oh. Sure. I'm full of surprises.

Can she sense something on my face?

So... are you jealous?

Oh, come on. That's unfair.

She's looking at you. Do something.

And stop talking about Adam, for a start.

I'll buy something.

There's that book I'd like him to read.

Will I?

I will. Yes, I'll buy it.

Hold on a sec. I just want to buy this.

Nothing, I suppose.

And the kiss. What about the little kiss?

Well, he's probably just a very tactile person.

I'll ask Lucy. No, I won't. She'll suspect...

Laura. What?!

You forgot your change.

Oh, right! My...

Here you go.

Thanks.

So, what's the book, anyway?

Hmm? Oh, nothing. Poetry. You wouldn't be interested.

Laura, that's a mean thing to say.

You're right. I'm so sorry, Luce.

I just hate it when I forget things.

But I'm delighted everything's going so well for you.

"To Adam. Lots of love..."

No, no, no. I can't use "love."

That wouldn't be right.

If Lucy saw that...

um...

To Adam...

poet lovers of the world unite!

Oh, no, that's... that's too jolly,

I need something friendly, warm and safe.

To Adam... looking forward to lots of chats. Laura.

Oh, lots of chats is awful!

That's so "ladies who lunch."

To Adam... welcome to the family. Laura.

Ugh. What does that mean? That sounds like the Mafia.

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no. I can't say that.

To Adam...

I hope this book will mean as much to you

as it does to me. Laura.

Yes!

Hi.

Look what I'm reading.

Oh.

I was just thinking about buying it.

Oh, no. Don't.

Why not?

I can't say, but please doYou're funny.t.

OK, I'll hold off.

Are you, uh...?

Just a college friend, if you want to join us.

No, it's OK.

It's not a problem. We were just...

No, I couldn't. If you were on your own, maybe...

Anyway, listen, I've...

Um... uh... bye.

OK, the vampire thing is a symbol of male domination through blood and semen.

Yeah, fine, we know that.

But it doesn't go anywhere, does it?

Exactly. Damn. Where are my fucking fags?

Here, have one of these.

Since when are you smoking?

Actually, I will have one, though.

What were we saying?

Male domination. Semen.

Oh, right.

You see, to me, Stoker's notion of Dracula

is just part of that whole Victorian view of women

as passive occasions of sin or helpless preys to temptation.

Exactly. That's why you'll love this production.

It asserts the absolute right of women to access raw desire,

no matter how dangerous the sexual consequences.

Absolutely.

So in the end, Dracula can actually become a feminist sexual fantasy.

A sort of antidote to all that Victorian paternalistic male bullshit. Oh, shh.

[eerie breathing]

[Dracula]I do not drink... blood.

I do not drink blood.

Blood. Blood.

[all gasp]

Excuse me, please.

Excuse me. Excuse me, please.

Are you all right? Didn't you enjoy it?

Yeah. I haven't done any work for over a week.

How do you mean?

I've done nothing. I'm just... I'm stuck.

Don't worry about it.

I don't believe in what I'm doing anymore.

Go away out of that. Your thesis...

Yes! But it's a great idea.

McCormick is only after saying to me...

Yes, it all works fine as an idea,

but I know now it...

it just isn't true.

Oh, God, I can feel it!

You don't think I look fat in it, do you?

Oh, no, no. It's beautiful, if you don't mind paying for it.

and Martin's face when he sees the Visa bill.

[laughs]

Yeah, I think that's it.

Mr. Drummond to Menswear.

[laughs]

[gasps]

Adam.

Oh, where...

where...

Adam!

Oh, God. Alice!

Laura.

Listen, I just saw Adam. He's coming down.

Oh, the boy. Great. Haven't seen him since the night of the great first date.

I should...

So how are he and Lucy getting on, by the way?

All right. I don't know if it'll last.

Too what?

Hmm? Too thoughtful for Lucy.

Oh.

Where is he?

He'll be down. Let's see what he thinks.

Oh, God. This is terrible. We couldn't have missed him, could we?

RelaI don't understand!ably bI don't understand it!

Jesus!

[panting]

But I saw him go up the escalator!

You're making an absolute exhibition of yourself!

I didn't imagine it!

I know you didn't imagine it.

I know you saw him, and he's probably wandered off somewhere, that's all.

It's nothing to get into a trauma over.

But I keep seeing him, meeting him...

[panting]

...unexpectedly.

So, when you and Adam do get to meet up,

what do you talk about?

Ah, my sick mind. Don't worry about it.

What? Worry about what?

Nothing, Laura. You know me.

I just wondered whether... I don't know...

whether you talked about personal stuff.

You know, intimate.

Oh, come on, Laura. Let's say...

things about your looks or sexy talk.

No! Nothing like that.

Alice, really! Not everything has to be...

seedy and cynical and all that.

In fact, I think that Adam has some deep tragedy

lurking underneath the surface. I really do.

Oh, right. Didn't spot that one.

But I've hardly met him.

You obviously know him much better.

No, I don't. But I... oh, my God.

No, no. It's Simon.

Who's Simon?

Lucy's ex. He's a stand-up comedian.

Isn't that strange? Just as we were talking about... um, hello.

Oh, hi. It's Lucy's...

Sister.

Don't tell me. I know it.

Uh, Laura.

Laura. Hi, Laura. How is Lucy?

Oh, fine, fine. You know Lucy.

You should give her a call. You never know, you know.

Oh, really? I'd love to.

I've got some new material, and it'd be great if...

Oh... But, no.

No? Do you want to...

Oh.

Honk honk.

[laughs]

He's much more her type.

I'm sure you're right.

[clock chiming]

[people chatting]

Oh! You heading out?

Why are you always prying into my life?

Can't you just mind your own business?

If I feel like going out, I'll just go out! All right?

All right.

[door opens]

What's up with her?

[door slams]

Don't ask me. I was only going to tell her to take a coat.

Ohh!

[thunder]

[thunder]

[dials]

[line ringing]

[click] Hello?

[man] Hello?

Adam, is that you?

Oh, my God. Laura, is it?

Adam, listen, I know this sounds really silly,

but did I see you in Brown Thomas the other day?

Yes.

Yes, you did, Laura.

And what happened, exactly?

Well, I was going up the escalator

and I heard you call me,

and then I...

then I waved to tell you I was coming back down.

Right. Right. OK, now please tell me so I'll know.

Are you avoiding me?

No. Not at all.

In fact, Laura...

Oh, God.

There's nothing I'd like more than to see you now.

[sighs]

Laura?

Laura, can you?

Will you come now?

This is why I didn't want you to buy that book.

I... I hope you don't mind what I wrote.

That's really beautiful.

[sighs]

I don't know what's happening to me.

At the strangest times, you pop into my head.

I suddenly have little conversations.

They're always with you.

I smile, and I feel happy.

It's happening to me, too.

And then, as well as that...

No, I can't say it. What?

No, I can't. You'll think I'm weird.

Please tell me.

No. No, don't ask me.

Adam, you must be honest with me!

Please!

The other night, when I was...

you ...I imagined you....

Oh.

Is that really sick?

No.

[thunder]

[moans]

Ohh!

Good morning.

I don't know. He's being an old sly boots.

He said I was to be here at six this evening.

Wouldn't tell me why. So?

Are you in on it?

Ah, sure he's one of the glorious mysteries, that boy.

You wouldn't know what's going on in his dotty little head.

[Laura]"If all else perished and he remained,

"I should still continue to be.

"And if all else remained and he were annihilated,

"the universe would turn into a mighty stranger.

"I should not seem a part of it.

"My love for Heathcliff

"resembles the eternal rocks beneath,

"a source of little visible delight,

"Nelly, I am Heathcliff.

"He is always, always in my mind,

"not as a pleasure,

"any more than I am always a pleasure to myself,

but as my own being!"

"Romantic tryst. 11-across."

Oh. En Francais. Assignation.

Oh!

A winner. [chuckles]

Um...

Assignation. Ho-ho!

[giggling]

Now... in a slight...

Aah! Ha-ha! Where are we going?

I can't tell you. Come here. Come here.

We're going into the car. That's all I'm gonna tell you.

Watch your head.

Where are we going, Adam? Hello?

[Lucy]Adam, please tell me where we're going.

"Not as a pleasure...

any more than I am always a pleasure to myself."

[Lucy]Where are we going?

Adam, if you don't tell me where we're going,

I'm taking this thing off.

If you do, you'll spoil the surprise.

Oh! Come on, let's go!

OK.

OK! Ha-ha.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

[Lucy]My family's here tonight,

sitting at that table over there.

Oh, isn't that lovely, and doesn't she look beautiful tonight?

You, too.

[Lucy]We're celebrating my mum's birthday today.

And there's a man down there in my crowd called Adam...

and he's my fella,

and I know my mum is mad about him.

So I thought the best present I could give her

would be to say that...

him and I are going to get married!

[patrons cheering]

You see, I haven't asked him yet.

[woWill you marry me?cy.

I'd love to.

[cheers and applause]

[Peggy] Unbelievable! Lucy!

[Karen] Adam's gorgeous!

What am I gonna do?

I think you've done it already.

No. Please, Laura, I'm devastated. I'm in turmoil.

Adam, I've work to do! But, Laura...

God, not here! Jesus.

Don't desert me now.

Me desert you?

The restaurant was full. Everyone was looking at me, expecting me to...

You agreed to get married because everyone was looking?

Fine. Marry who you like. That isn't why I was...

Marriage has nothing got to do with it.

I know.

But I do deserve a little... respect.

Yes, you do.

Believe me, I didn't want to hurt you in any way.

I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry.

Adam!

Are you going to tell Lucy?

God, no!

No!

Your whole family would disown you, shun you.

You'd be denounced as a jezebel, a fiend.

God, Laura, I couldn't bear to see you treated that way.

I'm crazy about you.

it's-it's like you said.

and planning our whole lives together.

It's a different kind of passion.

Stop thinking, Laura.

Just go with it.

Oh, God! Those women! Those stupid women!

Who?

My Victorian women!

Putting all that mad passion into their novels and poems

instead of just... doing it!

Ohh, yeah!

Of course, if they had, we'd have missed out on a lot of great literature.

Nah. They'd have found something else to write about.

Ohh, exactly!

That's what my thesis will be... about!

[moaning]

Ohh!

Ohh!

Ha-ha. God!

What?

Those women went through all that hysteria,

but they never came out the other side.

They never managed to realize that you don't lose your soul or do yourself in,

you just... move on.

Move on?

Yeah. From one great adventure to the next,

thrilled by the last one, but not afraid of the next one.

Oh, God. I can't wait to get started.

On what?

[cell phone rings]

Hello?

Davey, hi.

[softly] It's your brother.

YYeah. Sorry. I just forgot the time.

I got distracted.

Yeah, sure. I'll be right over.

OK, bye.

I promised Dave

I'd call over to him and Karen tonight.

Do you mind if we go now?

[cell phone ringing]

Ha! Go on!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

[click]

That was strange.

All this deception...

really makes me feel nervous.

Isn't it fantastic? [giggles]

Mm.

I feel like I'm being watched all the time now.

Under surveillance.

[laughing]

But that's it, isn't it?

You just have to...

take a risk and do something.

Then you find out. [bottle rolls]

[chuckles]

What's the matter?

Oh, nothin'.

It's just I was thinkin'

life is exhilarating all the same, isn't it?

Oh, absolutely!

Where can I drop you?

The library.

[TV announcer] As many men goal side as they can

and stop this...

[women laughing]

[David] Why me? Why me and a house full of women?

That stupid joke Auntie Patsy used to make...

"Oh, blessed art thou among women."

OK, so it's Mum's birthday. I love her.

Happy birthday, Mum.

But do we have to have all this female stuff going on all the time?

Do we have to watch this? Yes, we do.

And I wouldn't mind if they weren't such clichés...

Real girlies. "Nyah, football?"

Jesus.

Do you think Adam will like my hairdo?

Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

At least, lately, Adam gives me a bit of normal company.

So much better than the ponytail pricks Lucy usually ends up with.

Is Karen coming tonight as well, love?

Yeah, she is. Oh, good.

Jesus. Nag, nag, nag.

Shouldn't you be collectin' her?

I will! I'm going soon.

Should I ask Adam's advice about Karen?

Yeah. Although I bet Lucy's already told him we haven't done it yet.

Jesus! The humiliation.

Meanwhile, her and Adam have been banging away like cats.

Yes. Adam will love this.

God, he has her eating out of his hand.

That surprise weekend he took her away on... Cool move.

Bet she came like a runaway train that night. Yes, yes! Come on!

Would you not go and collect Karen?

We're supposed to be at the restaurant at nine.

All right, all right. I'm going.

You'll meet Adam tonight.

I think he and Lucy are really gettin' it together.

Yeah?

Yeah. They went away for a surprise romantic weekend

to this amazing country hotel.

Sounds gorgeous.

Yeah. Lucy was saying it was really, like, you know, just perfect.

And your Mum didn't mind? Peggy?

No, she's pretty cool about things like that.

Good for Peggy. Mines would have a stroke.

Only if she found out.

Oh, I'd never keep somethin' like that a secret.

Great. Fucking brilliant.

So...

Adam. [giggles]

I'm askin' you now.

Will you marry me?

Jesus Christ.

I'd love to.

[cheers and applause]

That's the most romantic thing I've ever seen!

You were right, David.

Adam's gorgeous.

Yeah, I told you.

Adam. Adam, can I ask your advice?

Of course, David.

It's, you know, like sex and stuff.

Ah, that's right up my alley. Shoot.

Well, 'cause you're like my brother-in-law now.

I am! And your pal.

Well, I hope so.

I am so. Go on. You were saying? Sex.

It's a bit complicated.

Always is.

But if you were to put it into one sentence,

Karen won't give you the goods. Is that it?

Yeah! How did you know?

Intuition. I can see these things.

And Lucy told me.

That bitch. She meant well.

Listen, you're too drunk to discuss this,

and to be honest with you, I'm too happy.

I'm in love, man!

Look, we'll get together soon, OK?

OK, Adam. All right.

Thanks. Wash your hands.

[David]It's not like she wants to wait till we're married or anything.

It's not like a Catholic thing. So, what, then?

Come on, would you get rid of it?

She just says, "Don't hassle me.

Leave me to make up my own mind." And?

I do. I leave her alone. I don't mention it.

And? Nothing.

Nothin'? Nothin'.

[both]Yeah!

[all groan]

[TV announcer] If you just bet your house on...

So how long do you wait before bringin' it up again?

Oh, God. Two, sometimes three days.

Fair enough. And does she offer any hope at all?

Oh, yeah. She says, "You know I love you,

and I want to show my love for you in every way."

Like, every way. She said that specifically.

"But you have to trust me, and if it takes a little time,

won't it be so much more special when we do it?"

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

But she's gorgeous, Adam.

I mean, I'm so fuckin' horny for her,

I can't drop her, you know?

She's driving me crazy. I'm completely obsessed by her.

Oh! Ref, for fuck's sake!

Yellow card. It has to be.

I can't believe he's gonna let him off with that.

She's definitely not bangin' someone else?

What? I never even thought of that.

No. No. No way.

No. Definitely no.

You sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.

I think you're right. Here's what's happening.

She's pretendin' that she wants the right to choose

when and where and how and so on, but, in fact,

she wants it completely taken out of her hands.

I don't get ya.

She doesn't want you askin', 'cause that means that she has to say yes at that time.

No! She wants no choice.

Like in a situation where it has to happen.

You're saying I should jump her.

No.

Much more subtle than that.

Let me think about it.

[announcer talking excitedly]

Yeah!

[honking] [yelling]

It must be so easy to score with a car like this.

[laughs]Why do you think I bought it?

My dad always used to say,

"Rolls-Royce for class, Mercedes for comfort,

but a Jaguar is sex on wheels."

I never liked my dad much, but he was right about that.

Yeah.

Even Karen would roll over if I had this.

Don't worry. She will.

Has she her own phone, or is it a pay phone in the hall?

A pay phone. Why?

Good.

Perfect.

Now, we need rain for this thing to work.

Shouldn't be too much of a problem in this fuckin' town.

Do either of you cook? No.

Never mind.

Invite me around for Chinese takeaway or something and a good video.

I'll bring plenty of wine, make it seem very spontaneous.

Will that be all right? Will she mind?

No, that should be OK. We're always lookin' for somethin' different to do.

She thought the whole thing in the restaurant the other night

was really romantic.

She'll love meetin' you again. Good.

Yes, very nice.

[thunder]

Now, I will arrive at exactly 8:30.

It's vital that you answer the front door alone.

Don't let Karen come down. Why?

Just don't. Right?

So we have our food and a few drinks.

We keep it very light.

Make sure Karen drinks plenty.

Getting her drunk? I tried that. Didn't work.

Don't worry. It's much more than that.

[giggles]

[all laughing]

We'll watch the film, and you'll be very relaxed.

Then around 1:00, I'll say goodbye.

And that's it?

No! That's when it all happens.

[engine won't start]

Oh, Jesus!

What a night for a breakdown, eh?

Oh. Listen, I'd better call a taxi.

I hope you can at this hour.

Oh, no. Listen, is that dead?

Yeah. Completely dead.

Oh, God, I'm sorry, Adam.

It must be the weather or somethin'. What a mess.

Well, look, let's go back upstairs where it's warm, and we'll sort it out.

No, it's OK. I'm fine.

Jesus, what a night.

I'll just walk until I get a cab.

There's no way we're gonna let you walk out in that weather.

Yeah, Adam. It's crazy.

So I get a bit wet. It'll be an adventure.

Look, I won't let you walk out in that weather.

You won't? Oh.

OK. So, what will we do, then?

[thunder]

Ah, perfect. I'll just sleep here on the couch. Yeah, you sleep there.

Mm. It's nice and warm. We'll get you a blanket.

No need. Now you guys get to sleep.

I'll be fine.

Sounds cool, Karen.

Incredible. Unbelievable.

How could she do that to me?

How could she humiliate me like that in front of you?

She'd prefer to sleep alone on an uncomfortable couch than sleep in a bed with me.

Am I so awful? Like, do I have a smell or somethin'?

No, Dave, you're a very sweet guy.

You don't deserve to be treated like that.

I misjudged her. I admit it.

But it was working perfectly...

the rain, the drink, the car, the phone, the air of the night.

I thought I was in like Flynn.

Ugh! Adam, what am I gonna do?

Hey, hey, it's OK. Don't be upset.

It's not your fault. It's hers.

She's holdin' back.

You're the giving one.

Think about it.

You're warm and loving and sensual.

You've got a lot to offer, David.

If only Karen could realize

the pleasure you could give her.

I understand how you feel...

the ache in the pit of the stomach

every time you think of her.

Look, Karen doesn't...

Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus, no.

What's goin' on?

I'm getting an erection. I can't stop it.

I'm getting a hard-on for Adam.

Oh, God, don't let him notice.

...the heat of your passion...

Please, don't tell me I'm queer as well.

How could she resist you then?

Right so. Night, Adam.

Are you OK?

Are you very upset?

No! No, no, no.

Just really tired. Gotta sleep, you know?

It's been a mad night. Gotta sleep.

Have to. Really tired, Adam. You know.

Night. Give yourself lots of room there.

I'm fine like this. I always sleep this way.

Sure.

Night, David.

Oh, please, erection. Please go away. Please!

This is nice.

[whimpers]

Oh, God.

Oh, Adam!

[Karen]Adam! [giggling]

[Adam chuckles]

[both laughing]

[Fun Lovin' Criminals] Barry White, Barry White...

[David] You bastard.

You've ruined my life.

You screwed my girlfriend and turned me into a homosexual.

I might as well kill myself.

Or kill you, maybe. Yeah.

God, I hope I'm not in love with you, you shit.

Isn't he great?

Yeah. Amazing.

You know, we talked for hours last night while you were asleep.

You talked?

Yeah. Neither of us could sleep.

The storm probably.

Anyway, we ended up talking and talking, and, God,

I don't know if it's the way he says things, or what,

but suddenly you start to see everything

in a completely different way.

[voice echoes]A lot of it was about you, you know.

Really?

Yeah.

I didn't realize. I was very flattered.

And if Barry White saved your life

Or got you back with your ex-wife

Sing Barry White... Yeah.

Barry White, Barry White...

And then she said Adam was so beautiful.

Yeah?

Yeah. Adam really made me think, all right. Listen...

I'm supposed to have a lecture at 11,

but I can cancel that.

What do you say we have a nice lazy mornin' together?

Just us.

Ohh! [moaning]

Yes!

Oh, Adam. Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Yes! Ooh.

Life is wonderful.

[woman laughs]

Lucy! Horsing around with Adam as usual.

Aah!

What a fantastic couple they are.

So together.

Oh, Jesus. No.

[laughing]

Simon?

Oh, Lucy.

What?

[Alice]Thanks very much. Bye! Bye.

Bye-bye! Bye!

Bye. Bye!

[Peggy]Bye!

Bye!

Well, now, that Adam fellow seems a bit more on the ball

than those other weirdos Lucy usually brings home.

Don't you think?

I know it's just a first impression on that, but...

Holy Baholy. Is this his?

This is a '60s classic. This'd be worth about...

Martin. Martin, please.

Shut up. Remember what we agreed?

We don't need to talk shite...

You mean a normal civilized conversation?

...when we're on our own together.

It might make things a little more bearable.

I just want you to know that it's a very famous classic car,

and it's worth a lot of money.

[ turns radio on]

So at least you know that your sister's new boyfriend isn't a waster.

If you're interested.

[cell phone ringing]

Yes? [Laura] Hello?

Hello, Laura. Alice?

I can barely hear you. Can you hear me?

It's probably just a bad line. I can hear you perfectly.

Is something wrong? [engine revs]

I need a bit of diversion. Take me shopping or something.

No, yeah. Tomorrow's fine. Brown Thomas, 10:00. I have to go. Bye.

OK, perfect. I'll meet you at... [Martin]Heads up.

That's a superb machine you have there.

Listen, do you want to come inside for a cup of tea? I've got to head out.

Alice is sippin' martinis, readin' Hellomagazine. Hectic life, don't you know.

She'd love to see you. To be honest, I have to go.

Take it easy, but, hey, fabulous car. Cheers.

This guy Adam,

he's Alice's youngest sister's, you know, boyfriend,

and he has this classic car, right?

Jerry, it's a Jaguar. OK?

Oh, nice car, the Jag.

And what happened was, this was 20 years ago, right?

Both his parents and his older sister...

he told me this himself...

all three of them were killed in a car accident.

You're kidding.

Wait. In that very same car that he's driving around today.

He was at home with the baby-sitter.

What was he doin' at home with the baby-sitter?

He wasn't doing anything. He was three.

No, he's just at home. The rest... [woman]Jerry...

The point is, he escaped. The rest of them are killed instantly.

The thing is, the car doesn't get dumped.

It just sat there for years.

So by the time your man Adam gets older, you know,

it's startin' to sink into him the significance of this wreck.

Now he has somethin' coming to him, you know,

like a trust fund, inheritance, that sort of thing.

Do you know what he does, this guy?

Spends it all. No, no, no, no.

Of course he spends it all... at the pub.

He uses... no. He uses all of that money

to have the car completely restored.

He spends every penny on it.

He even does some of the restoration work himself.

Yeah. And the restoration itself is immaculate.

It's absolutely stunning,

and now he has this beautiful, beautiful thing,

like an extraordinary memorial

to his-his parents and his sister, you know?

It's beautiful,

if you don't mind paying for it.

No. I love paying for it. That's my favorite part...

and Martin's face when he sees the Visa bill.

[Laura laughs]

Yeah.

[woman over PA] Mr. Drummond to Menswear, please.

Mr. Drummond to Menswear.

Sorry. Mrs. Rooney? Thanks. Yes?

That is a seriously sexy number.

Hello. Sorry?

I mean it. Even from where I'm standing,

I'm gettin' a bit of a turn-on.

Who the hell are you?

Oh, sorry, Alice. It's Adam.

Adam?

Yeah, remember?

Oh. Lucy's Adam?

Yeah. How are ya?

Listen, sorry if I gave you a scare,

but I spotted you in the distance,

and I thought, "Wow."

In fact, I can still see you.

What? Right now.

Where are you? Stop messing.

No. Look more carefully.

Yeah, you're gettin' warm. Go on.

But listen, Alice, I really do mean it.

I didn't realize the night I met you

just how fuckin' gorgeous you are. Bye.

Adam, hold on.

Laura!

Listen, I just saw Adam. He's comin' down!

Casual, for Jesus' sake. The boy. Great.

Haven't seen him since the night of the great first date.

Not strictly a lie.

Where is he?

Good. Let's hope he's gone.

Oh, he'll be down. Let's see what he thinks.

I wonder has he any taste in clothes?

This is terrible. We couldn't have missed him, could we?

Relax, Laura. He's probably buying something first.

No, no, no! He pointed down, like he was...

What's going on? She's nervier than I am.

Of course she always was the tense, hysterical one of the family,

but, oh, for God's sake.

[whimpering]

Hold on now. I think our Laura is up to something.

So, when you and Adam do meet up,

what do you talk about?

Hmm? Oh, nothing, you know. We just talk. Why?

My sick mind. Don't worry about it.

What? Worry about what?

Nothing, Laura. You know me.

I just wondered whether... I don't know, you know...

I mean, if he talked about personal stuff.

You know, intimate. Oh, come on, Laura.

Let's say... stuff about your looks or sexy talk.

No. No, nothing.

Really! Not everything has to be seedy

and cynical and all that.

I think that Adam has some deep tragedy

lurking underneath the surface.

Oh, right. I didn't spot that one.

But then, of course, I've hardly met him.

I mean, you obviously know him much better.

No, no. I don't, but... Oh, my God.

What... Adam? No, it's Simon.

Well, who's Simon?

Lucy's ex. He's a, you know, stand-up comedian.

Isn't that strange? Just as we were talking about... Hello.

[Simon]Oh, hello, uh, it's, uh... This is Lucy's...

Sister. Laura. Laura.

Lu, I'm asking you.

Sisters are supposed to confide in each other about these things.

Oh, I don't know yet.

Anyway, you mind your own business.

Absolutely.

So, you comin' in?

He's hanging a new exhibition today.

He'd love you to see it.

No. I'll leave you to it. Catch you later.

Alice.

Um... you know, like, the way

fellas always hassle about sex?

I vaguely remember.

Well, Adam doesn't.

He seems really happy to leave it up to me.

It's kind of nice for a change.

Oh, no.

Are you fallin' in love, sparrow?

See you.

You're pushing the boat out a bit tonight.

It's only one of Peggy's impromptu piss-ups, for God's sake.

[Peggy] The eyesight went, the hair, the teeth

The hearing not too great

I'd run...

I don't know. I just didn't bring Karen

because of Mum's sing-along, you know?

I really don't think it'd be her sort of thing.

Hey, hey, David. Feck off like a good young fella.

What?

Feck off.

So, remember what we talked about the other day?

Oh, so it happened? At last. And?

Gorgeous. I mean...

[Peggy]Lucy! Lucy! An open call.

You go on. I'll do this.

...my baby girl Lucy.

Come on. I'll join in with you.

Remember, control your diaphragm.

[laughter/applause]

So, how's the boy?

Have you had enough of us yet?

No, no. It's great. I love your family.

Don't you sing at all? Not a note.

You're all so different, aren't you?

Only in some ways.

[pours wine]

Thanks.

Well, you're the sexiest.

Am I? Oh, yeah. No question.

I still love that outfit, by the way.

I'm glad you bought it.

Why didn't you come over and talk to me that day in Brown Thomas?

Would you have liked me to? Of course. Why not?

So do you want to get to know me better?

Yes.

I'd love...

What I'd love to do right now...

is touch you.

You're so sexy, really.

What about Friday evening? Let's meet.

Oh, no. Not Friday.

I've got to go to a do with Martin.

Let me baby-sit for yourself, on Friday.

I love kids.

I'll come around to your house, and I'll baby-sit for you.

And I'll be there when you come back.

What do you say?

Yeah. OK.

Will Lucy know what you're doing?

Of course. I'll tell her.

She's workin' on Friday night, so she won't mind.

Knowin' Lucy, she'll think it's great idea.

She wants me to get on well with all the family.

Oh, that young fellow is a lovely drunk.

Did you know that?

Uhh!

[horn blasts]

Uh, we're home? Huh?

Let me just...

Hi, Adam. Can you give me a hand here, please?

Sure. ...from the buckle belt.

And why don't you hit the sack?

And myself and Adam will just go downstairs,

have a couple, bit of a chat?

Oh, no. Nothin' for me, Martin. I'm drivin'.

I know you are, you and that fantastic car of yours.

You're one lucky horse to have a car like that.

Fairly easy to keep it in immacul...

immaculate cond...

I wouldn't drink, either, if I had a car like that.

Do you know why? Do you know...

Well, it's the spare room for me tonight, thank Christ.

[Martin snoring]

[whispers] She wasn't out.

Good party?

No.

Dear me. Fancy a coffee?

[chuckles]Yeah.

[Martin snores]

[switches intercom off]

No.

Yes.

I said no. I'm sorry.

It's not that I don't think it'd be very nice.

Nice and firm and...

I know I gave you the impression I was on for it.

I was. I am, actually. It's just...

It's all right.

I don't need to know why, but, uh... are you sure?

Yes or no?

[Martin snoring]

[laughing]

[baby cooing]

Yes.

Yeah? As in, I'm sure.

Fine.

Well, then.

[laughs]

Would you still like your coffee?

Uh, yeah. Sure, why not?

[cell phone ringing]

OK.

Hello? [Lucy] Hello! Adam gone yet?

He's still here. Great.

Hold on. Adam? Lucy. For you.

Hey, Lucy.

So, Adam...

I'm asking you now.

Will you marry me?

[David]Jesus Christ.

I'd love to.

[cheers and applause]

[Karen]That's the most romantic thing I've ever seen.

[man]Go on!

Unbelievable! Isn't it?

Yes, Mummy. Completely unbelievable.

[laughing]

[sobbing]

[Peggy]These feathers. Look at them.

Look at all the feathers.

[blowing]

Oh, Jeanie.

Why can't you always stay that way?

You'd be better off.

Now it's all ahead of you.

You'll grow up, and you'll be beautiful.

Fellas will come sniffing around,

and sooner or later, of course,

some fucking idiot will lurch over to you with that look in his eye,

and he'll say, "Do you know what you need, love?

What you need is a good shag."

Oh, it will happen. Believe me.

But, Jean...

you know what the really annoying thing is?

It might be true.

When you wish for

The kind of day

That feels

The way you feel

Sunshine

Makes every...

[line ringing]

[Adam] Hello?

Hello?

Hello? [Alice hangs up]

Mum? There's something I forgot to do.

You'll be all right with Jean for an hour, won't you?

And rainy days

You see

Oh, God!

...love can also be that way

[Laura laughing]

You'll get your wish

But it's not free

[bottle clinks]

[gasps]

Please.

Don't.

[Laura]What's the matter?

Huh? Oh, nothing.

It's just I was thinking that...

life is exhilarating, isn't it?

Oh, absolutely!

[sighs/chuckles]

Ah. You've not going walking in that outfit?

Hey, Lucy! Would you not come with us?

I said no!

But there's loads of things we could be sorting out.

I know, Mum. That's why I'm not coming.

I'm tired and sick of invitation lists

and menus and dress fittings

and endless, endless talk about the wedding!

I just want an afternoon to do what I like, OK?

OK?! Jesus!

[door slams]

What's eating her?

Leave her, Mum. Come on.

If you came with me even once a month,

it'd do you no end of good.

It wards off all the evil spirits,

I'm telling you.

Oh, and just look at that view.

Isn't Dublin huge?

You knew that already.

But to see it, though, all laid out on a plate.

Yeah, I know.

Come on.

[inhales]

[exhales]

Mum? Mm-hmm?

Tell me the truth.

You never liked Martin, did you?

Ah... Mum, please.

Do you mean since years ago?

I mean since you first met him.

Well... no.

I suppose... no.

[laughs]

Well, why didn't you say something?

You know, then?

I didn't want to be sticking my oar in.

But you knew. You saw right through him.

You knew he was a total fucking idiot.

Ohh, it doesn't matter.

I just wondered, I suppose.

If I'd interfered, I'd have been the worst in the world.

You'd have married him anyway just to spite me.

Tsk. Yeah, I know.

[sighs] And what about Adam?

Adam? Oh, a different kettle of fish altogether.

I'm delighted there.

The way he seems to fit in with everyone.

So good to Lucy.

Himself and Laura are great pals.

David worships the ground he walks on.

Oh, he's brightened up the whole house. Yeah.

Oh, don't tell me you don't like him.

Oh, me like Adam? I do, yeah. Definitely.

So what are you going on about?

Well, I suppose I feel...

don't you think there's lots about Adam we don't know?

You're worried there might be some surprises for Lucy?

Yeah, I suppose.

Ah, well, the way I see things these days, chicken,

boring men are the curse of the world,

and there's just so many of them,

so if a girl can avoid them at all,

she's definitely in with the chance.

Come on.

So tell us... where's the honeymoon?

Somewhere exotic? It's a secret, Andy.

Shouldn't we start getting the dress on, Mum?

No! Wait till the last minute. Oh, thanks, love.

Otherwise, you'll just be standing about for ages, afraid to move.

But what if something goes wrong? What if it doesn't fit?

You had it on last night. It was perfect.

Oh, no, I couldn't, Alice. Thanks.

[Andy]Lucy, calm down. You'll be fine.

[Peggy]And you know you look gorgeous in it.

So, I believe congratulations are in order.

Oh, yeah!

Professor McCormick only told me unofficially,

but it looks like first-class honors.

Oh. Do you want to read it?

What do you think?

[laughs]No, really. It's all about women and sex.

There's a copy over there.

As MA theses go, it's a rattling good read.

No. Think I'll wait for the film. [Lucy]What do you think?

Oh, it's beautiful, Lucy, love.

Well done, Andy!

David, there you are. You ready, pet?

[David]Will you go through my checklist with me?

What do you think?

Gorgeous!

What time is he expecting you?

[David]About an hour. We want to make sure...

I went through it all upstairs.

Don't touch it. [squeals]

Right. I'm off.

Alice. Alice, um...

You'll be fine.

Bye.

[knock on door]

Better not let anybody see you like that.

Simon.

Hello. I've just got a present for Lucy.

Oh, thanks very much. I'll give it to her.

Maybe I could say hello or wish her Godspeed?

She's up to her eyes at the minute, Simon.

Only a couple of hours to go.

Honestly, if I could see her for a moment...

No, Simon, but thanks for the present.

Bye.

Oh, God. I've done a terrible thing.

Laura?

Laura, can I see you for a minute?

No, not you, Mummy. Everything's fine. Stay where you are.

You slept with Simon?

I bumped into him at the swimming pool.

I was in a funny mood.

I panicked, I suppose, thinking I'm throwing my freedom away. Jesus!

[both]Mind your hair!

Look, everybody does something like that before they get married.

You'd be mad not to. Aren't I right?

No, I shouldn't have! It didn't matter. It was only that one time.

But now I can't face Adam in the church! I have to tell him.

Oh, Jesus! Now, listen... Now, listen, Luce.

Do you want to marry Adam? Yes.

You want to spend the rest of your life with him? Oh, yes!

Not with Simon? No! No way.

Well, then, say nothing. Not today, not ever.

But that's not fair.

Will it make anyone any happier?

Will it mean it never happened? No.

Well, then, do you hear me now?

She's right, Luce.

Yeah.

Yeah, I suppose.

OK, I'll forget about it.

[all laughing]

Thank you.

We'd better go before Mum's curiosity gets the better of her.

Are you OK?

Yeah.

So, was it any fun, by the way?

What, Simon?

Yeah.

Not bad, actually.

Good. Worth your while, huh?

Well, hello.

So you're gonna go ahead and do it?

Yeah, of course.

Come in.

You're looking gorgeous.

Do you think so? Really?

I always think so,

but that's especially gorgeous.

Do you like these? They were my dad's.

Is there a story behind those, too?

So, you're still sleeping with Laura.

I suppose you'd still sleep with me.

Would you?

Absolutely. If you wanted.

[laughs]

I mean, why do you do it, Adam?

Well, I don't know.

I definitely don't do it

because I think someone's fucked up my life

and I want to get revenge.

That would be no good, Alice.

Maybe...

Would you believe me if I told you

that when I'm with people, listening to them,

I notice that they always want something from me.

Oh, I'd believe that, all right.

And it doesn't annoy me. I really like it.

I like to give people what they want, if I can.

Whatever makes them happy.

It's a very easy thing for me to do.

Sinful, even.

Maybe.

Do you believe me?

The thing is, I'd like to.

Would it make me happy?

We've about half an hour to spare if you want to find out.

Do you want me?

[moaning]

[laughing]

[sighs]

Life... is exhilarating, isn't it?

[door buzzer]

Oh, Jesus. David.

Probably.

Hello?

[David] How are you, Adam? Guess who.

Hi, Davey. So are you ready?

No, of course I'm not ready.

I was interrupted. Come on up.

Jesus! What the fuck do you think you're doing?

What have I done? What am I after doing?

[knock on door]

[David]Come on, sis. You're holding up the whole show.

Who's that? David, is it?

Who do you think?

Come out and tell us how we look.

Right. Sure, yeah.

Poor old Martin.

[sighs]

Well?

You both look very sexy.

Yeah, we're rides, we are.

And, Alice, Adam was telling me why you're here.

That was a really nice thing to think of.

You're just a big softie behind it all, aren't you?

Ah, you don't know your sister, Davey.

So, what do you think of your present?

They suit you very well.

I'm delighted.

Listen, I'll go.

Right. Davey, are we organized?

I'll see you in church.

[ organ]

[man]Monica, you look fantastic.

Nice to see you. You look gorgeous.

I'll see you. OK.

[indistinct] You didn't.

Martin. Yeah?

Be a good man and hold little Jean

at the back here in case she acts up, will you? OK.

Now, love, Daddy's gonna mind you.

Excuse me. I hope I'm at the right wedding.

I'm looking for a Laura Owens.

Oh, yes. Laura's my sister. I'm Alice. And you are?

Oh, Harry McCormick.

I'm Laura's supervisor, you know, her thesis.

She asked me here today as her guest.

Oh, right. Well, she's up here. Come on.

So, Harry, good thesis, I believe.

I don't mind saying it's extraordinary, electric.

Normally, theses are rather dull things to read.

This is something else. Here we go.

Laura, your supervisor. Slip in there, Harry.

Hi.

I reread chapter four last night.

Oh, Harry.

[ Mendelssohn's "Wedding March"]

[shushing]

Look at Auntie Lucy.

Oh, God, Jean, look.

[crowd murmuring]

See? Lovely.

[man]Beautiful dress. Oh, my goodness.

Beautiful.

That dress... Oh, she's beautiful.

You're beautiful.

[Lucy whispers]Oh, God.

I can't. I'm sorry, Mum.

[Alice] What's she doing?

What's the matter?

Adam, you really want to marry Lucy?

Yeah. You're sure?

With all that means?

Yeah.

Good. Go for it, handsome.

[Adam]Lucy! Lucy!

It's all right.

Look, if you've changed your mind

or if you can't face it, don't worry.

No, no, it's not that. Really, it's not.

There's nothing I want more, Adam.

But I can't. I can't.

Adam, there's something I have to tell you.

Something I did. I can't marry you...

Hold on, Lucy, hold on. Shh. Shh. What?

Don't feel you have to tell me anything.

But I want to have no secrets between us.

Why not?

Because I want you to trust me.

But I do trust you.

Why should I expect you to tell me everything?

I trust you, but that shouldn't mean...

We all need to have secrets, Lucy.

I'm not gonna tell you mine.

So you keep secrets from me, too?

Yeah, of course. You'd be shocked.

[laughs]What?

Fellas.

You love people to think you're all mysterious and interesting.

Yeah, well, I am. I swear.

Aw, look here, forget the wedding.

Why don't we just jump in the car

and drive away out of this?

That? That's not... What happened to the Jag?

Oh, well, I suppose I thought the Jag

had a lot of old history behind it, a lot of baggage,

so I traded it in yesterday.

I thought, you know, maybe a family car

might be a bit more suitable.

Right.

You don't mind, do you?

No. No. It's just, um...

Yeah? Yeah.

It's the Jag was more... you.

[laughs]

Look.

[laughing] You bastard.

I love you.

Will you marry me?

Secrets and all.

Go on, sure, take a chance.

Make a new start.

Yes.

Thank God for that.

Can we get on with it now?

[cheering]

[Peggy Lee] Sisters

Sisters

There were never such devoted sisters

Never had to have a chaperone, no, sir

I'm here to keep my eye on her

Caring

Sharing

Every little thing that we are wearing

When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome

She wore the dress, and I stayed home

All kinds of weather, we stick together

The same in the rain or sun

Two different faces, but in tight places

We think and we act as one

Those who've

Seen us

Know that not a thing could come between us

Many men have tried to split us up

But no one can

Lord help the mister

Who comes between me and my sister

And lord help the sister

Who comes between me and my man

Those who've

Seen us

And plenty have seen us

Know that not a thing could come between us

Go, girl, go

Many men have tried to split us up

But no one can

Lord help the mister

Who comes between me and my sister

And lord help the sister

Who comes between me and my man

Sisters

Ever-loving sisters

But don't come between me and my man