Original subtitles

[Seagulls Screeching]

- [Speaking French] - [Horn Honking]

[Honking Continues]

[Door Opens]

- Bonjour. - Bonjour.

Bonjour, madame.

It's all right.

Sweetheart, you know where those toys are we got for him.

- Would you like to give them to him yourself? - No.

Channe!

[Clattering]

[Whirring]

She's never even seen Benoit or cared anything about him.

The minute he was born, she let her stuck-up family give him to some woman in Nice.

When she died and he was put in an orphanage,

she didn't even lift a finger to get him back.

Now, who's she not to sign the adoption papers?

He's just a scared kid.

Well, if the frogs try to take my little boy away because we're American...

Can you believe that?

- I can believe it. - I'll... I'll... I'll go straight to the president.

- De Gaulle? - No, not de Gaulle. Ours.

- Get him to send troop ships. - Marcella's ready to go to war.

I thought you were this big principled pacifist.

Not when it comes to my kids, I'm not. I fold.

- I'm in. - What did I just do, goddamn it?

I don't know what you just did, goddamn it, but you're playing lousy poker.

Can you guys believe Palmer passed that Tonkin opposition issue?

I would've said Johnson drafted that ages ago.

Yeah, right before he invited Kennedy to Dallas.

[All Chattering]

[Mambo]

Daddy, come on, dance.

[Stereo... Men Singing In Spanish]

You pig. You're hopeless.

Have fun.

[Singing In Spanish]

- [TV: Men Speaking In French] - [Children Speaking]

[TV... Men Shouting]

[Piano Playing Off-key]

[Speaking French]

Benoit. Benoit. Shh!

Come, come, come. Look what I got you. Come on.

I always thought brown suede shoes were so snazzy.

I have something else for you, too. Wait a minute. Um...

Voila!

Oh, it's a great color on you.

Here, let's try it on.

You are going to break every heart in Paris,

if you haven't already.

Oui. Of course. All for you.

Silly goose.

You have a closet of your own here, sweetheart.

Look what he's doing. Isn't he stupid?

Benoit.

You're staying with us forever.

Pequeñina.

Mi amor. [Sighs]

Good night, Candida.

Bon night.

Oh!

- Good night, sweetheart. - Good night.

[Dog Barking In Distance]

[Sobbing]

[Sniffles]

[Whimpering]

Viens.

[Growling]

[Channe] Daddy, I want to see a horror movie.

- [Dad] We are a horror movie. - [Marcella] Speak for yourself, Bill.

- There's a John Wayne movie on TVat 2... 00. - Here.

We'll have Vietnamese first, and then go watch it.

The Vietnamese part sounds good.

- [Bill] For me? - Pour toi.

Are you sure?

My God, this is the nicest present I've ever gotten in my life,

Benoit.

Benoit sounds terrible in English. Maybe we should change it.

- Let's call him Anthony, after my father. - Let him decide.

He's too little to decide his own name, and I want to change mine.

- No. - I hate Charlotte-Anne.

I won't answer unless you call me Jenny from now on.

How about if we call you Agatha?

- Benoit, would you like a new name? - [Marcella] Would you?

- He doesn't know. - Yes, he does, Agatha.

- No, he doesn't, and my name's Jenny. - Shut up, you two.

Think it over.

You can pick out any name you want.

It's up to you.

Little Bill?

Billy?

Isn't that something?

I've hated my name all my life, and he wants my name.

- Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy. Billy, Billy... - Oh, you.

- Come here, Billy. - I want in.

- [All Laughing] - Will you get in here?

[TV: Woman Speaking French]

[TV: Man Speaking French]

[Benoit Humming]

[TV... Horses Neighing]

[Gun Popping]

- Ah! - [Speaking Portuguese]

[Speaking Continues]

- [Gun Popping] - [Bill] Hey, you want some ketchup?

- [TV... Man Speaking French] - Oh!

Don't say "vin" fucking "rouge." It's red eye, you assholes.

[TV... Piano Playing]

[Singing In French]

[Singing]

Billy.

Ow!

Deux, trois.

[Singing]

[Singing Continues]

[Clapping In Rhythm]

[Man Singing In French]

What's that letter? That one?

- Mademoiselle Fournier says he's a slow learner. - [Marcella] What crap!

You're the smartest kid I know.

- She always puts him in the vestiaire. - What's vestiaire?

- Channe, what's a vestiaire? - The coat closet.

And why does she do that?

Billy, why didn't you tell me Mademoiselle Fournier puts you in the coat closet?

Forgot.

She doesn't like him.

She locks him in, and sometimes she makes him eat his lunch in there.

[Children Shouting, Fournier Speaking]

- [Speaking] - Excusez-moi. Hello, Madame.

- Pardon? - Oh, you understand me perfectly well.

Channe, translate for me, will you?

Here's sand for you, you bitch!

Psst.

Are you coming to the party on Thursday?

Thursday is a gym class.

So what? I'm taking a note from my father.

My father would never give me a note.

Don't be so dumb. He doesn't actually have to write it.

- [Chattering] - [Jazz]

I'll, uh, see you five and raise you ten.

What's the difference anyway? We're still at war.

By the way, Thursday I'm going to the American Embassy.

[Bill] You better save your energy.

- It's a Purple Heart. - Oh.

- Who was wounded? - My father was, in Japan.

How'd you spell "gym"?

- How'd you spell it? - Oh.

Hmm. [Sucks Teeth]

Ouegatalle.

[Knocking]

- Entree. - [Door Opens]

Charlotte-Anne.

Tell me, how do you spell "gymnastics"?

This is your excuse for gymnastics class.

Your father is a successful writer, is he not?

Seems to me he would know how to spell "gym."

Yet here, "gym" is spelled "jim."

This is your father's signature, is it not?

No, madame.

I did it. I didn't feel well.

[Coughing]

- Channe. - [Praying In French]

Like hell she is. Come up here, Channe.

We have to have a serious talk.

You did a very bad thing, and a very dumb one.

What was wrong with going to the gym class?

The kids were having a party, and I wanted to go.

It's Lincoln's birthday, and you said it was a holiday.

The French don't celebrate Lincoln's birthday, Channe, though they damn well should.

It's still no reason to forge my signature.

It's a very serious crime to sign someone else's name.

Especially over here. The French go berserk.

You're in the fourth grade, and you still don't know how to spell "gym"?

J-l-M?

When I was younger, before I met your mother,

When I was younger, before I met your mother,

there was a guy in New York called Bill Willis just like me.

I never met him or even heard of him.

But he went around signing my name in all sorts of places:

Bars, restaurants, some stores.

He even managed to steal a lot of money out of my bank account.

Over $ 10,000.

- That was an awful lot of money in those days. - Did you catch him?

Yeah, finally. But by then, he had already spent all the money.

- Did you put him in jail? - Nah. I didn't press charges.

What if he had a wife and kids?

- What if they were hungry? - Oh, Daddy, you're so nice.

I'm too nice. That's my problem.

I'm sorry, Daddy. I'll never do it again.

[Kissing] Shh!

- What did I tell you? A soldier's daughter... - Never cries.

Ah!

Billy.

How do you spell "gym"?

- G-Y-M. - No fair. You told him.

I knew it anyway. G-Y-M.

Something happened today.

I met Billy's mother.

She called two days ago. I didn't tell you.

- I had to hear what she had to say for myself. - And?

She said she researched me. Meaning she read my books.

- [Scoffs] - And she said my writing seemed brutal to her...

but honest.

I guess it's the honest part that saved us.

- So is she signing or not? - I don't know. Probably.

She's coming with a lawyer.

She doesn't want to do it in her office.

She says it's too impersonal.

What's she like?

Attractive, brown hair, uh, very poised.

Seems to have made quite an impression.

Nah, she's too cold,

too French, too screwed-up.

She's not my type at all.

[Marcella] He won't see you. He never looks up.

Once he's on his way, he's on his way.

[Billy's Mother] It wouldn't matter if he did.

He has no idea who I am.

So, are you ready?

Are you?

I should be, after all these years.

I promise you we'll give him the best life we possibly can.

A better one, certainly, than I can.

Maitre Matee will tell you. He is also filing my divorce papers.

My second divorce papers.

Not bad, no? He filed the first ones too.

It's becoming quite a habit with him. N'est-ce pas?

You're a writer.

So perhaps you'll understand this foolish girl was only 15.

You may read it if you like.

And one day, if he wishes...

If he ever asks, you will give it to him...

so he may know something about me.

- Did you say black leather? - With a gold clasp on the side.

- The girl, she's sweet. - Peace, brother.

- She says that every time a boy talks to her. - Peace, brother.

It's not "he says." It's "he says." And it's "brother," stupid.

Yeah, can't you hear the difference? God, you two Frogs.

[Marcella] Come on, kids.

[Bill] I really like him taking a crap alone...

on that steep hill before theJap attacks.

But you can't put that in the movie. The studio won't buy it.

I got him taking a crap because it makes him vulnerable and unheroic.

[Horn Honks]

There's nothing glorious or glamorous about the killing.

It's sloppy and bloody and messy...

and...

You're never going to get a chance.

Horrible and eternal.

It's like nothing works the way they told you it would.

It was a... You keep trying to kill him, and he won't die.

He's like one of those monsters in a monster movie.

You think he's dead, and he keeps coming back after you.

- When Daddy came around, he knocked Mama down - [French Pop]

Poor Mama was slugged in the kitchen

He said that's enough I said that's enough

Only to find Candida bitchin'

Between mushrooms and fizz for these little shits

Between mushrooms and fizz for these little shits

- You sing terrible. - What do you know anyway? You're such a frog.

- I'm a frog, and you still sing terrible. - I'm bored.

- I'm so bored. - Boring!

We can go down to the boardwalk after dinner...

- and see if those cute guys are there again tonight. - I want to come too.

Shut up. Have a drag.

[Continues]

[Speaking French]

[Bell Tolling]

[Gasps]

Salut.

Salut.

Ca va.

[Benoit] Go first.

This place is so neat.

Come on!

[Rooster Crowing]

Tea time, everyone.

Hey, throw that back here.

[Both Yelling]

[Yells]

[Marcella] The doctor said, "You're pregnant."

And I said, "What? Me?"

It's God's own miracle because every single doctor on both sides of the Atlantic...

said I could never, never get pregnant again.

[Bill] Marcella, ante up.

You're starting to sound like a broken record.

I had this terrible, unbelievable time with Channe.

She had a huge head like my father's, and there was so much scar tissue.

She's lying there in the delivery room blaming me.

"Come on, you bastard. How can you do this to me?"

[Channe] Thanks a lot, Mom.

Twenty-eight hours of agony before it occurred to somebody...

that I might just possibly be a candidate for a cesarean.

- Merci, merci. Soup's on. - Five dollars to you.

- I'll see you. - She might have twins?

[Singing In Portuguese]

[Speaking French]

He says that he's a good Catholic...

and the missionaries taught him how to read and write.

Yes. [Speaking French]

He would like your permission to accompany Candida...

to church on Sunday.

It's our pleasure. Feel free.

C'est bon.

[Speaking French]

He says, uh, that his boss...

gave him permission to borrow his Citroen...

to take Candida to a picnic at Fontainebleau.

- Request granted. What else? - [Speaking French]

Yeah.

- What did he say? - Nothing.

Something about Candida's derriere?

[Kissing]

[Students Chattering]

Hi. I'm Francis Fortescue. I'm a new inmate in this bughouse.

Hi. My name is Channe.

So I guess I'll be seeing you around.

[Boys Shouting]

Keep your hands off her, you pervert!

Fight! [Boys Shouting]

[Chattering]

I didn't know you were American.

You don't know anything about me, but I already know a lot about you.

For example, one: I know you live on the Ile Saint-Louis.

Two: I know you go to Boulangerie Speck on Rue des Deux Ponts.

Three: I bet it's your brother you go there with on Saturdays.

How do you know all this about me?

Because I live on Rue des Deux Ponts. Is it your brother?

He doesn't look like you.

- Where does he go to school? - He goes to the American school.

My mother says we should talk about sharing a ride.

She'd take us in the morning,

and then someone from your house could pick us up at night.

- You're weird. You act like a girl. - I don't act like anybody.

I act like me. But I know everything about women and sexuality.

- Mother told me. - Yeah?

Mozart's "Voi Che Sapete."

[Whispering]

[Applause, Cheering]

That was really fantastic.

No, it wasn't. It was lousy.

You don't have an ear for music, so you can't tell.

Singing here today was my mother's idea, not mine.

I could've done much better.

I have to do much better if I want to be in the opera business.

I'm crazy about opera.

This is our living room.

Oh, here. Let me get this. I got it.

Those are boxes my mom got when she went to India.

- I think she got them in Kashipur... - What about this one?

- What do you think it is? - I don't know. Maybe you put a candle inside.

No. Here. It's a bracelet so you can look at yourself while you're walking.

Here. Try it out. Try it out.

See, there you... Watch out for the beam.

This is my mom's incense.

She burns it all the time. See?

And here... Oh, here are my fish.

That one is Deanda Poitier.

And this is Mimi.

And that one is Magda.

And that one's Colletta.

And the... the striped one over there is Monsieur.

How do you know which ones are boys and which ones are girls?

Personality.

This is my washing machine.

- I bought it with my own money. - Oh, my.

Nice, isn't it?

And come through here.

And...

Go no further. Stay right there. Here.

Esperanza is the good one. The queen of a desert island.

But this one, Serpentina, is an evil adulteress,

a murderess, a homewrecker.

Wow. We won't have people like that. Bitches.

Oh, so what?

These are facts of life. It's a dark and dirty world out there, darling.

Take my word for it. Don't expect a bed of roses.

Anyone want any ice cream? I'll go get it.

- No, thank you, Mrs. Fortescue. - Okay.

- Mother's an existentialist. - Is that like an atheist?

No, you can only be one when you've gone through difficult experiences...

like fear and trembling and angst, German for "anguish."

Don Francesco believes everything they tell him.

Therefore, he is always in angst.

[Motor Running]

- [Channe] The one to the left. - I see it.

Pretty!

Pretty!

Mom, they're bugging me about the fees again.

Well, tell Mademoiselle whatever her name is that the check's in the post.

- That's what I told her last week. - Well, don't torment me.

My headache's coming on again. Bye.

Can Francis sleep over next weekend?

- Where is he going to sleep? - He can sleep in Billy's room.

What are you, nuts?

Watch out for my Louis Tres chair, Bill.

You still haven't paid for the repairs on the one your drunken jerk of a friend broke.

Francis can sleep on the TV cot in your room, Channe.

Well, can we put the cot close to my bed so that he won't feel so far away?

- [Marcella] If you like. - [Bill Laughing]

Will you stop it!

Pass the bread, please, Mom. Thank you.

- It sounds like a dying animal. - [Marcella] What?

[Coughing] My laugh.

[Francis Singing Opera]

[Singing Continues, Singing High Note]

- Get up there! We're starving! - No, no, no, no.

- I'm sleeping. - Come on, come on. Get up. Get up.

- We're hungry. - I don't care.

[Channe And Francis Singing High Note]

Shh. Shh.

Tosca waits until everybody has left.

Then she tiptoes up to Mario.

- She lifts the cover off of his head. - Whoosh!

- And... [Singing High Note] - [Singing High Note]

- She sees he's dead. - Why?

They shot him, remember?

Then... [Singing High Note]

Now the others come rushing up the stairs.

They've discovered Scorpio's been murdered.

So Tosca runs away from them.

She goes to the top of the parapet. She looks up and she says...

[Singing Opera]

[Singing High Note]

And then she leaps.

[Singing High Note, Screaming]

[Both Singing High Note]

[Yelling, Singing Continue]

Stay seated. Merci, mademoiselle.

I see you two are still occupying the North Pole.

Francis, you have forgotten to put down your father's name and nationality.

What is your father's name?

Le nom de votre papa?

We're waiting Francis. We don't have all day.

I don't know.

You don't know.

That bitch was just trying to get my goat.

What have I told you over and over?

You have to behave like an aristocrat. You are an aristocrat.

Why? Who was he? The Duke D'Orlean or someone?

All I ever heard was how he was this rotten son of a bitch.

- Quote, unquote. - Forget who he was and just remember who you are.

Inside yourself, you're a duke's son.

Be proud and noble, Francis Fortescue.

I think Deanda Poitier's dead.

What?

No, she's not. She's just fat and lazy. Look.

See?

You should always listen to what I say.

[Sobbing] Our baby.

It just wasn't meant to be.

We have our two great kids.

Thank God.

Look what I brought you.

Oh!

- This will get you right. - [Laughs]

[Knocking At Door]

Here are my two darlings. Come here, kids.

Give me a kiss right now.

It's because of me.

- What? - I've taken his place.

Because I'm here, he thought there wasn't enough room for another kid.

- Oh! - [Bill] Billy, you're nuts.

Will you listen to this? Where does he get these ideas?

You wanted to be a big brother. You were looking forward to it.

Oh, I'm sorry, darling.

Maybe now you'll have to concentrate on being a nicer little brother.

Maybe because you were so awful...

he didn't want to be in the family.

Oh, you two stop. Come here. Come here.

[Kissing]

"And I shall have some peace there,

"for peace comes dropping slow,

"dropping from the veils of the morning...

"to where the cricket sings.

"Their midnights all a-glimmer...

"and noon a purple glow...

"and evening full of the leather swings.

"I will arise and go now...

[Whispering] You look stupid with that dopey expression on your face.

"I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore...

- "while I stand on the roadway... - while I stand on the roadway...

- "or on the pavement's gray. - "Or on the pavement's gray.

- "I hear it in the deep heart's core..." - "I hear it in the deep..."

[Students Laughing]

Francis Fortescue, you have again disrupted my class.

You're going to have to stay in today after school.

- Oh, I'm afraid that's impossible. - Why?

- My mother and I are invited to an early dinner party. - [Students Laughing]

Well, I'm afraid you're just going to have to miss it, Francis.

Okay, class, I want each of you to write me a story using your own words,

and I want you to set it in your home.

Now, just trust your imagination. Let it fly.

You can write about anything you like. You can make it up.

Write about someone you know. Base it on your family.

But it has to be set in your home, and I want it on Monday.

- Congratulations, Charlotte-Anne. - You're giving me an "A"?

Mm.

My habitual "D."

People,

you must all concentrate on your spelling.

"Come."

In English.

Not...

You must stop thinking in French.

A good way to remember the difference between "here"...

Hey.

And "hear..."

[Students Laughing]

Right.

You two, out.

Francis, get up.

Hurry up, please.

[Students Laughing]

Where was I? Oh, yeah.

"Here" and "hear..."

is you hear with your ear.

This is good. We don't have to take any more of that sentimental Irish crap.

I hate you!

Mother warned me you'd have immature moments like this.

You're not supposed to be using Daddy's shaving stuff.

He said that I could as long as I didn't make a mess.

- Well, guess what. - What?

I got an A+ on my essay for Miss O'Shaunessy's class.

- Wow. - [Bill] A+?

- Uh-huh. - You never got an A+ in your life. I don't believe it.

Let me see.

"Two Boys in My Home."

"Billy and Francis are as different as a dog and a cat.

"And like a dog and a cat, their hairs go up at the sight of each other.

"They don't growl and hiss,

"but practically press their behinds up against the opposite walls...

to get away from each other."

This is great.

"When it was Billy's birthday, Francis brought him a present.

"It was 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne.

"In English.

"Billy hates to read in French, and Francis remembered this.

"Francis said to Billy,

"'This is my favorite macho book.

"I hope you like it. '

"Billy said, 'Thank you, '

"his face and ears all red and his eyes wearing that very uncomfortable look.

"A few days later, I surprised Billy reading the book in his room.

"I asked him if he liked it, very nonchalant so he would not get angry with me.

"He said it was great, but did not look like he enjoyed saying this.

"And the next time Francis was over, Billy pretended...

he could not remember who was Jules Verne."

- [Paper Rustling] - This is damn good, Channe.

I'm not kiddin'.

Do you mind if I hold on to this a while?

You're readin' 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea?

[Woman] And he's putting it off 'cause he's a godly, saintly man.

So she gets furious. She tries everything.

In fact, her father-in-law is...

Don't you know that boy?

- Hi. - Hi.

You look great. You going to a party?

We're going to Salome.

Are you coming to the Boom tonight?

Well, I'll see you.

To cut a long story short, here is Salome doing the dance of the seven veils...

and getting Herod so excited that he says,

"What do you want? I'll give you anything."

And she says, "I want John the Baptist's head on a platter."

I'm sorry we embarrassed you in front of your friend.

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Scoffs] You needn't worry. He'll forget by tomorrow...

that he saw you with us.

You know what your problem is?

You've got a great, big, fat inferiority complex.

Maybe it's not a complex. Maybe I really am inferior.

Can I sleep over tonight?

- I promised Allie I'd do something with her. - [Scoffs]

Like go to the Boom? An evening of Irish crap?

"I will rise and go now."

You're my best friend, right?

Then why don't you stop bugging me when I want to do something on my own?

Like in Miss O'Shaunessy's class.

I just... I hate watching you be a damn teacher's pet.

If you were really my best friend, you'd help me when I want to study and stuff.

I won't sit with you in class anymore. Okay?

Is that what you want?

I didn't say I don't want to sit with you.

All I said was stop messing around and embarrassing me.

The rest can stay the same, okay?

[Woman Singing Aria]

[Lip-syncing]

[Lip-syncing To Male Opera Singer]

- [Ends] - [Laughing] Bravo!

[Audience Cheering, Booing]

[Piano]

One, two, three, four.

When I find myself in times of trouble

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom

Let it be

And in my hour of darkness

She is standing right in front of me

Speaking words of wisdom

Let it be

Oh, let it be Let it be

Let it be Let it be

Whisper words of wisdom

Let it be

And when the brokenhearted people

And when the brokenhearted people

Living in the world agree

There will be an answer

- Let it be - Francis.

- [Class Continues] - I'm getting my period. What am I supposed to do?

Now we've talked about this, and we decided on a plan. Remember?

You get up and you say, "I'm indisposed." Then you go to the infirmary.

Oh, let it be Let it be, let it be

I'll go with you and wait outside. Just wait one sec.

There will be an answer Let it be

Oh, let it be Let it be

Mr. Flowers, we must be excused.

- What's the problem? - Channe is indisposed.

Let it be Let it be

Let it be Let it be

Whisper words of wisdom

Let it be

When I was little, we took our dog, Betty, to be fixed...

because she got her period too.

None of this is any big deal, Channe.

These things are just regular occurrences.

You mustn't let yourself be embarrassed. Really.

In my hometown, kids were having sex with girls when they were ten.

They were girls from the poor side of town.

So I'm just sayin' boys are gonna be interested in you.

And they're ready and willing to go all the way.

Your father isn't urging you to have sex. He's just warning you you can get pregnant now.

It's easier than you can imagine. To womanhood.

To womanhood.

Do you think I should wear a bra?

The American girls in the locker room said that I should definitely have one.

Those girls'd wear chastity belts if someone told them it was the "in" thing to do.

- Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. - But do what you want.

If you want boobies down to your knees, that's your business.

And voila.

[Man Singing In French]

- [Knocking At Door] - Oui, oui.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And this house just ain't no home

Anytime she goes away

And I know, I know I know, I know

I know, I know I know, I know

I know, I know I know, I know

I know, I know I know, I know

I know, I know I know, I know

I know, I know, I know I know, I know, I know

Hey, I oughta leave the young thing alone

But ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Whoa, whoa

[Singing In Portuguese]

- [Stops Singing] - Candida, what are you doing? It's after midnight.

Did Mamadou bring you home?

[TV, Indistinct]

Candida's refused him.

She turned him down?

- Why? - She says she's not ready for marriage.

Fuckin' ridiculous.

She's 40 years old... if she's a day.

[Door Opening]

That's exactly what I hate about priests.

They tell poor peasants like Candida to be patient,

it's better in heaven.

While they, the pious pricks, live like kings off the money of the poor.

[Sighing]

But don't tell Candida I said that.

It'll only upset her.

Goddamn it, I wish she'd married Mamadou.

It's getting really embarrassing with her.

The way that she walks in my room any old time she feels like it.

Think it'd be okay if I had a lock on my door?

[Woman Singing In French]

[Singing Continues]

How'd you like it if we left Paris and went to live in America?

- Why do you wanna go home now? - I'd always intended...

for us to go home when you kids were teenagers.

- I don't want you growing up to be Euro trash brats... - Trash brats.

Like all our friends' kids did.

They don't know who the hell they are.

And frankly, my last checkup wasn't as good as it could have been.

You're fine, aren't you?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Fine now.

I'd just like to be at home...

when, uh... if things start to go wrong.

Besides,

the move'll be good for all of us.

But what about Candida?

We'll see Candida gets a great job.

[Bells Ringing]

Ah, you tilted it.

[Singing In French]

[Singing Stops]

[Singing]

I have to tell you something, Channe. It's rather momentous.

I have something to tell you too. It's also momentous.

So you tell me first.

I think I won't go back to the école bilingue in the fall.

- I'll go to a lycée. - Why?

I'm tired of the whole setup.

Now, what's your big news?

If you're going to another school, then it's not that big.

My father wants to take us home to America.

- When? - I don't know. Soon, I guess.

Yeah?

Well, in that case, I might as well tell you.

Don't get upset and throw one of your fits,

but you will anyway.

I'm in love with you a little bit.

Just a little bit. A teensy-weensy bit.

It used to be much worse, but now I've got it under control.

I'm frightfully jealous of all those boys you like.

And I'm really tired of pretending I don't care.

The only way, I guess, I thought I could get close to you was by being your best friend.

Francis!

Crazy.

Yeah, I am crazy.

[Bill] How many miles that sign say to Hanover?

- Six. - I thought so too.

- [Billy] I think it said 26. - It said six.

- Twenty-six. - Twenty-six.

[Channe And Billy Laughing]

[Billy] I told you it didn't say six.

Before you get too delirious slappin'each other on the back,

I'd advise you to look at it this way.

It's the first thing you two assholes have said on this trip that made sense.

- Hello. - Hello.

Bill Willis. My wife, Marcella.

- Hi. - Pleased to meet you.

- Billy, Channe. - Hello. Please come in.

I'll take you in the back door, if that's all right.

I've been wantin'to live in this house since I was ten years old.

Maybe I'm getting more worked up than I should.

It's only that... heart disease runs in his family.

His brother,

his sister... she died at 25.

There's nothing wrong with his heart.

Nothing so serious some new medication won't fix up.

Don't tell Channe. She'll just worry.

I won't.

[Chattering]

[Harmonica]

[Harmonica Continues]

[Chattering, Laughing]

- [Man] A hard-of-hearing genius. - I'll see the 10, raise 20.

Christ's sake, Marcella, why do you always do that?

- You run people out of the game. - I don't know what I'm doing...

- See? See? - Just watch.

Same here.

- You happy now? - Um-hmm.

I'm still in.

Me too. And I'll raise you ten.

I think I'll fold, then.

- [Laughing] - What?

Dumb broad. She'll never learn.

That leaves you and me, Dad. I call.

Classic Freudian drama... father and son alone in the pit.

Son determined to kill the father.

Old man desperately struggling to hold him off.

Wrong.

Father triumphs over asshole kid again.

- [Murmuring] - All blue.

- My, my. - Aces full.

[Clamoring]

Christ, that's not the way it's supposed to turn out.

[Chattering]

[Wolf Whistle]

So you're from France. Is that right?

- How do you like it here in the States? - It's okay.

[French]

Isn't that your brother?

- What's the matter with him? - I don't know.

[Man On TV] Welcome to Mid Morning Report.

- With John Mandam... - Why don't you go outside? It's a beautiful day.

...national and state news. - Good morning. A huge bomb exploded today...

Day and night...

[Sighing]

Day and night... sitting in front of the TV...

You're like some goddamn spider on the wall. You give me the creeps.

[TVContinues, Indistinct]

North Vietnam has...

Will you stop gobbling that disgusting junk food?

You're gonna end up with a pot belly hanging over your belt like some old man.

What'll happen to my handsome Billy?

Will you shave that thing off your chin? Now, get out!

You go out if it's so great!

You're getting your father's temper now.

Two of you in the house, I sh... should move.

...nine Americans were wounded... - [Man Shouting On TV]

I'm leaving Channel 3. From now on, no more!

Gonna leave the city Got to get away

[Continues Indistinct]

How come they didn't ask us for I.D.?

Because without our business, this place would close down in a minute.

I like these drinks.

They remind me of the coffee éclairs I used to buy in Paris.

Whatever you say.

God, you got a hollow leg.

It runs in the family.

I wanted to ask you out lots of times, but...

Well, I kinda had this girlfriend I had to get rid of.

[Laughing]

[Thunder Rumbling]

[Car Door Closes]

Is it any wonder I reject you first

Fame, fame, fame, fame

Is it any wonder You're too cool to fool

- Fame - Fame

All the girls in France don't wear any underpants

- And there's a hole in... - Ooh.

What are we doin' after school?

[Cheering, Applause]

[Man On P.A.] First and ten for the Ducks on the Tigers'35-yard line.

[Continues Indistinct]

- You're clapping? - Sure.

- Okay. - Okay, here we go. - Why shouldn't I?

Aah! Geez!

[Man On P.A.] There's a scuffle. 89 is coming off the field.

Yes, it's 89. It's Keith Carter. Something's going on.

Now, what's up here?

That kid's pretty good. What's he kickin' him out for?

[Man On P.A.] Keith Carter does not look happy.

He does not look happy at all.

- You know who that guy is? - No.

I don't know. They all look the same to me.

Could you take me out of this school, Daddy?

I hate everything about it and everybody in it, and they all hate me.

Oh, baby, baby. It just takes time.

You guys have only been here a couple of months.

It'll be fine. You'll see.

[Billy] Hey, Dad!

Channe, come up here a minute.

- The American Red Cross is close to your heart. - That's right.

- Very much so. - You were the first woman lifeguard in this area.

- [Laughing] - Bring us up... from 1940 to 1949.

[Bill] Sit down.

What's it all about?

I told you at the football game.

They don't hate you. They don't know what to make of you...

'cause you come from somewhere else.

I guess that's my fault too. I did some silly things, Dad.

Who were they?

One's a basketball player...

and one's a guy who works in his dad's auto body shop after school.

Like that. They're okay.

Are you okay?

Was it nice for you?

There was only one. Sorta good with him.

With the others, they're nice to me before,

then afterwards, they don't even wanna talk to me.

I'm afraid they're gonna call me the school slut.

To hell with 'em.

Boys your age don't know fuck all about sex.

They think when they've slept with a girl, they've put a fast one over on her.

Strut around gloatin' to their friends.

- Were you like that too? - Sure I was.

Took me years to figure out...

when a girl slept with me she wasn't rollin' in the dirt.

She was givin'me something precious.

- [Laughter] - Will ya turn that goddamn thing down?

[Laughter]

All the way. No, no. All the way up there.

- What am I supposed to do with your brother? - Billy won't say.

You know, how he never talks about anything.

He hates this school even more than I do.

If that's possible.

This move has been hard on you kids, I know.

I should be there more for you,

but this book's drivin' me crazy.

See, I'm as selfish as anyone.

All I think of is that I gotta finish it...

while I still can.

None of us got no guarantee on tomorrow.

"Ask not for whom the bell tolls" and all that.

Now, you be smart about this.

Say no to those guys till you find someone you really like.

Then come and talk to me.

All right?

Oh, baby.

Baby.

[Chattering, Whistle Blows]

Fucking Frog. Ribbit, ribbit.

- Hey! - [Billy Groaning]

Get up.

- Get up. - [Coughs]

- I'm all right. [Coughing] - Jesus, come on. Stand up.

Lean on me. There you go. There you go.

- Man, what a scumbag. - [Coughing]

I'm gonna kill that kid. Take this.

- Forget about it. - Just hold your nose.

Keep your head up.

How long you been here?

Uh, three months.

It's not really that bad...

once you get used to it.

- You'll meet people. - Yeah.

- What happened? - Nothin', nothin'.

- Asshole Steve Bates hit him. - I had my back to him.

I was looking in my locker, and he came up from behind.

He called me a Frog. Can you believe that?

This is Keith. He helped me. This is my sister Channe.

Nice to meet you. Thank you. I saw you playing football.

He snuck up from behind. I was...

If I'd seen him coming, I could have fought back.

- Called me a Frog. I'm no Frog. - Steve Bates hates anyone...

who looks like they'll do more than pump gas for the rest of their lives.

- You all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.

- I should be going. See you later. - Thank you.

I was scared he was gonna bust my teeth.

Dad says always protect your teeth. Don't tell Dad. Please.

Just tell him I fell down or something. He'll just get upset.

Billy!

[Radio Chatter]

Billy, rake these leaves when you get a chance.

[Groaning] No driving lesson today, honey.

Don't worry. I'll be back home soon.

You two go inside. I'll call you from the hospital.

[Siren Wailing]

Billy, you don't have to rake it every day.

Wait till all the leaves fall.

- [Typewriter Keys Clattering] - [Bill] And from this,

I saw a semi-hallucination.

Spell "hallucination."

H-A-double "L," Dad.

At least you've learned to spell.

And to type, thank God.

[Bill On Tape] I saw a semi-hallucination.

All of him... seemed to swell.

Typing's the one thing I learned in high school...

that was ever any use to me.

[Tape] Until we can see the ship moving away,

or thinks he can.

I'm glad I can still wring tears from my audience.

It's good for sales.

Aw, come on now, honey. You know a soldier's daughter...

Stop with the "soldier's daughter" again.

Anyway, I'm not. I'm a writer's daughter.

Well, that's okay, then.

They cry all the time.

[Bill's Voice] Until he can see the ship moving away,

or thinks he can.

- [Typewriter Keys Clattering] - [Bill's Voice] Then he goes on...

getting bigger and bigger...

and swelling and swelling until he's bigger than the ocean.

Bigger than the planet.

Bigger than the solar system.

Bigger than the galaxy out in the universe.

[Billy's Voice] Dad, we moved your things to the sun porch.

We thought it would be better if you didn't have to climb the stairs.

[Briefcase Unlatching]

I can't work with all of you starin' at me. Don't ya have things to do?

[Bill's Voice On Tape] Feel the cold... beginning to swell his hands.

[Marcella] Oh, no, Bill. You can't. Damn it.

This thing with Billy's citizenship's driving me crazy.

I must've written that damn congressman five times already.

He doesn't care who the hell I am.

In America, Billy's adoption's still illegal, no matter how we cut it.

- Let's go over their heads. - Whose heads?

Whosoever it takes. My father always said anybody could be bribed.

[Bill Sighing] I just don't know how things work here anymore.

I can't stand the thought of leavin' this thing unfinished.

- Don't talk like that. I don't wanna hear it. - What are you talking about?

Nothing. Go back to bed, baby.

Channe, I wanna tell you somethin',

but you have to swear to God not to breathe a word to anyone.

Are you sure this is the right time?

There isn't gonna be a better time.

You see, I been offerin' to tell Billy...

the whole story about his adoption for years now,

but he doesn't wanna know.

He just wants his citizenship. Doesn't care about the rest.

I thought that you were getting him his citizenship.

- We're tryin', honey. - It's just that the whole damn thing was so illegal.

We were so scared Billy's mother would change her mind, take him away.

I thought that his parents were dead.

Marcella, will you let me tell the story?

No, they're not dead.

We never met his father,

but we met his mother.

She was 15 when he was born.

- Fifteen years old. - About your age.

I've been offering to show Billy...

the diary his mother kept while she was pregnant.

He doesn't wanna know, period.

But one day he'll be curious,

and it may be after I'm gone.

After I'm gone,

I want you to read it, Channe.

So if he ever asks, you'll be there to tell him too.

The boy, Billy's father,

was her cousin, her cousin by marriage or something.

She'd known him forever.

He was a few years older than she was and had been around more,

so she thought he was some sort of god walkin'this earth.

She worshiped him.

The sweetest moments of her life...

were when he was bein' nice to her,

payin' attention to her.

She hoped that if she did whatever he wanted,

then maybe he would really love her.

[Honks Horn]

[Car Door Closes]

- Hey. You wanna ride home? - Okay.

Right. I don't usually have the car.

I told my mom that I'd paint the kitchen if she let me borrow it one day a week.

I've been meaning to ask you if you wanted a ride for weeks.

[Kevin] Whoo! I didn't know your folks were loaded.

[Channe] They're not that loaded.

You wanna come in and meet my parents?

I'm not too good with parents.

Do you wanna go out sometime?

You have to come in and ask my father.

Jesus. I heard different about you.

Yeah? Well, maybe you heard wrong. Are you coming?

[TV... Man Groaning]

Mr. Willis, Keith Carter.

- Sit down. - Thank you.

- Do I look like heat? - You look like one crazy son of a bitch for a preacher,

- I'll tell you that. - [Groaning]

- Who's that guy... - I saw this film.

- [Tires Screeching] - Yeah, it's kinda fun.

What's it called? Thunderbolt and Motherfucker, something like that?

- [Laughing] - Watch the chair.

Oh.

What do you do with your spare time?

[Sirens Wailing]

You're on the football team. I remember you.

I quit football. I got into an argument with the coach.

Workin'for the highway commission after school now.

What was your argument about?

We basically didn't see things eye to eye. I told him he couldn't run my life.

[Bill] Man of principle. I can identify with that. No, thank you.

What I really wanna do is buy myself a car.

These people down my street,

they're sellin' this '65 G.T.O. For $ 1,000.

It needs a new transmission, but it's a steal.

I'd like to take Channe out sometime.

How are you gonna take her out without a car?

Borrow my mother's.

- Are you a good driver? - A very good driver.

See, I think you gotta drive defensive, just like football.

Gotta imagine everybody's a danger coming straight at you.

I'll tell you something, Mr. Willis.

Those Catholic nuns are the worst drivers I ever saw.

Can't drink and drive.

[Laughing]

Never.

Well, if your mother won't let you have hers, you can take mine out once in a while.

Channe's gotta be home by 12... 00.

That is really nice of you, sir.

And I promise... I'll drive careful and get her home by 12:00.

Go on.

[Bill] Billy, run those lights along the back of the swing...

- and up the other chain. - Yeah, okay.

- If one doesn't work, none of'em work, Channe. - [Marcella] Keith?

Can you help me put some here?

The twinkly ones that go on and off. Here.

There's too fuckin' many there already.

My wife's got the goddamn Wop taste. She can't help herself.

I should be goin'.

Oh, well, thanks for helping us.

- [Bill] How're you gettin'home? - I'm just hitchin'.

Jesus, it's so cold out.

Are you guys sleepin' together yet?

I'm goin' to bed. Good night.

- Good night. - 'Night.

Yes, Daddy.

Well, I don't want you guys doin' it in cars,

especially my car.

I'd rather know where you are.

I'd rather you were sleepin' together under my roof.

I tell you what. Call your mother and tell her you're sleepin'over.

You can take the school bus with Billy and Channe in the mornin'.

Yes, sir.

You can use the phone in the kitchen.

You don't think it might be just a little soon. I mean, for God's sake.

I don't give a shit. They're gonna do it anyway.

Let 'em do it right.

You are using birth control.

- What have you been using till now? - Rubbers.

I think his comic character is enormously appealing to people...

partly because he's the smart urban guy...

who at the same time is intelligent,

is vulnerable, and somehow by his intelligence he triumphs.

[Bill] I don't want you goin'out tonight, Channe.

Too many drunks everywhere...

and the roads are icy.

Doesn't matter how careful you drive...

if somejackass is barrelin' down the road at ya in the wrong lane.

There's this huge party down at the Bullet,

and Keith won't drink, I swear.

Then, when we get there, we'll call you. The minute that we get there.

It's so important. Everyone will be there.

God, I hate to be a party poop.

- Let me think about it. - Thanks.

What about Billy? You can't leave him here.

I told you I don't want to go out with Channe and Keith.

How many times do I have to say it?

I don't want him to be home by himself with his parents... on New Year's Eve.

I'd rather be alone anyway.

Suit yourself. Excuse me.

Is it okay, Dad? Can I go?

Channe,

it's fine to have an affair and all,

- just as long as you don't marry Keith. - Who's gonna marry Keith?

I'm just scared to death he's gonna ask you to marry him.

And that you'll give up your whole future,

and there'll be no one here to stop you.

I'm gonna go to college.

- So, can I go to the party, please? - [Sighing]

- Sunshine when she's gone - I love you.

Can I go? Please?

It's not warm when she's away

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And she's always gone too long

Anytime she goes away

I wonder this time where she's gone

Well, we don't understand why you called in the National Guard

The National Guard The National Guard

When Uncle Sam is the one who belongs in the exercise yard

The exercise yard The exercise yard

- [Continues Indistinct] - Billy?

Yes?

I wanna show you something.

I wanna show you something.

- What is it? - This is the short story I was workin'on...

the day you came to live with us.

I want you to have it...

before it gets locked up in some goddamn archive.

Is that Mom with the cigarette?

That's the social worker who brought you the first day.

I knew she couldn't wait to light up,

so I told her to feel free.

See all these doodles?

That's because of you and Channe makin' a racket...

while I was tryin' to write.

If it'd just been Channe, I'd have yelled at her.

But I could never yell at you.

As you know.

Take it. Keep it safe somewhere.

Thanks, Dad.

This could be his last one, you know.

Last what?

New Year's.

How can you say that?

You're so selfish. You can't see anything but yourself.

It doesn't... matter...

if you stay home with us tonight... or not.

Go, go, go. Have a good time. You...

You look nice. You do.

Channe, you've got the greatest father in the whole world.

Maybe next year, he'll be all right.

We'll all go out dancin'together or somethin'.

- He's never gonna be all right. - What are you talkin' about?

With what he's got, you don't get better.

You either stay the same or you get worse.

- Turn back, Keith. - What?

Just please turn back.

- I wanna be with him. - Channe.

Everybody's waitin' for us, for Christ's sakes.

I mean, it's New Year's already.

[Car Radio] Golden night about you Shows me where you're from

Magic in your eyes bewitches all you gaze upon

[Continues Indistinct]

- [Rock] - [Chattering]

[Man On Television] When it hits there, you can bet your bottom dollar...

it'll be pandemonium!

Ten. Nine. Eight.

Seven. Six. Five. Four.

Three. Two. One.

[Cheering]

[Band: "Auld Lang Syne"]

- [Phone Ringing] - The people here in Times Square are going out of their minds.

- [TVContinues Indistinct] - [Ringing Continues]

Hello? Channe?

Happy New Year, Dad!

Happy New Year, baby.

- [Continues "Auld Lang Syne"] - [Cheering, Chattering]

I wish that I was home with you!

- It's pretty quiet here. - [Giggling]

Your brother and I are havin' a tiny drop of champagne.

- Your mother's finishing the bottle. - Don't believe him!

I wish I'd stayed home!

It's all right, baby. Have a great time for all of us.

- What? I can't hear you! - [Cheering, Chattering Continue]

Have a great time for all of us.

Dad! Dad!

- Happy New Year! I'll see you tomorrow! - [Cheering]

Happy New Year.

[TVContinues Indistinct]

Let's go.

Come on.

If we hurry, we can make it back in 15 minutes.

We can still have a glass of champagne with them.

- What are you planting? - Boxwood.

- Is it gonna grow into a hedge? - Hopefully.

Keith called... three times.

I don't know why you won't see him.

Not now. I can't take any more emotion.

How's Mom? What has she been doing all day?

The usual... lying around, crying.

What was the last thing that Daddy said to you?

He told me... to take care of the house and stuff.

[Jazz]

[Ends]

[New Song]

You should go to bed, Mom.

After my first date with your father,

my girlfriends asked me what he was like.

And I said,

"He was awful drunk."

Come on. I'll help.

After my second date, I said,

"He was drunk, but...

I kinda like him."

You wanna just sleep in here?

After my third date, I said...

"He drinks a lot, but...

"he's... fun.

And I'm gonna marry him."

He proposed in the back room of P.J. Clark's and, I swear,

he was three-quarters sober. [Chuckling]

[Sobs] Billy?

How could he do this to me?

You tell me.

How could he do it?

- I'll get the stereo. - No. Turn it up.

[Volume Increases]

Something happens at school,

the first thing I think is...

"I must tell Dad."

I still think that after all these months.

Yeah.

Same thing happens to you?

I guess.

Sometimes.

[Man Speaking, Indistinct]

[Billy Laughing]

[Man On TV] My exterior is a very beautiful shade of glossy pink.

When I'm empty, I look like a deflated balloon.

But when full, I'm big at the top and small at the bottom,

like a bulbous letter "J"...

- Can I turn it off? - Yeah.

[Man] I'm a great convenience to Joe because...

I wish you'd go to college too.

I'm not smart enough.

You not smart enough.

[Laughs] Look at you.

Everything you're doing here...

Where would we be without you, Channe and I?

Why are you so hot on sending me to college then?

It's too much for you here.

I'm too much for you.

You can say that again.

- I want you to have this. - What is it?

It's your mother's diary that she wrote while she was waiting for you to be born.

What should I do with it?

You need to know who she is, that she's there for you.

Oh, is she?

As I recall, she wasn't when she dumped me in the orphanage.

Billy, she was 15 years old. Just read it. You'll see.

You'll understand.

- Oh, Billy. - [Channe] What's going on?

Your father said you have to read this.

Dad said if Billy ever asked about his mother, then we should tell him.

- I haven't asked. - Channe, make him read it.

She called you Benoit Antoine Phillipe.

That was on the papers we signed.

You read it.

She only saw you that one time when she stood at our window to get a glimpse of you.

She was very careful that you wouldn't see her.

I said, "It's okay. He won't look up."

She said, "He wouldn't know who I am."

It was the saddest thing I ever heard. I'll never forget it.

Billy, if you ever want to find her, I'll come with you.

If I ever do, you can, but I won't.

- One mother's all I can manage. - [Channe Laughs]

She was very pretty.

Bill always said she looked like Anouk Aimee.

Then again, Anouk Aimee was never his type.

He told Mac, who introduced us,

"I want to meet someone who looks like Rita Hayworth."

Mac said, "I've got just the chick for you."

Guess what, kids.

Oh, but I could drive him crazy.

Always trying to get him to dance with me.

I'd say, "Come on, Daddy. Dance with me."

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Come on. You can do it.

Please. Come on.

You can do it.

- [Humming] - Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

[Marcella] Come on. You can do it.

Please. Please. Just try.

- [Billy] Left, right. - Sure. Look.

To the left.

- [Salsa] - [Laughing]

[Billy] The music doesn't help.

Just my luck.

Another bear!

[Stereo... Men Singing In Spanish]

[Continues]

[Both Laughing]

[All Speaking, Indistinct]

[Singing Continues]

Done by (c) dCd / March 2008