Original subtitles

[birds chirping]

[Ciscero] Pedro!

Pedro!

Pedro!

What do you think, huh?

What do you see?

Huh, Peter?

Breast.

[speaking in Portuguese]

[Ciscero] Souls.

[dramatic music]

Peter?

Peter?

- [Gilbert] Peter? - What?

[Gilbert] You're going to fall.

I don't think so.

What if I told you one of those little

green lizards was crawling on your leg?

That might change things.

It's a chameleon, right?

Actually, it's a green anole.

They're very common in this area.

Same species as a chameleon,

different family.

Anolis Carolines...

Carolinensis.

I know animals. That's a Latin.

Have you decided what you're going to tell Father Tew?

That I'm not happy here. That...

I want a wife and family.

It's not complicated. I'm not... Jesuit material.

I don't think he's going to buy that.

Well, then I'll tell him I'm "randy" as a goat.

I'll just tell him this whole thing was a...

youthful indiscretion.

He thinks you're the golden boy.

And I know he thinks you are funny.

He didn't think I was too funny in the laundry room yesterday.

[Peter] I spilled bleach on a pair of his black pants.

- He said, "shit." - [laughs]

And Eduardo has agreed to take your place in the soup kitchen?

That's right. Eduardo, the happy,

humble Mexican.

He stays and I go.

That's where the future of the church is anyway.

Mexico,

Africa, Alabama. The "third world."

[laughs softly]

[whistles]

- [Peter] Is it Father Pat? - [Gilbert] Yeah.

Every time he whistles, I think he's going to croak.

[grunts]

[Peter] Are you saying that because you don't have anyone

to take Eduardo's place?

No.

[Peter] Father Tew, I'm...

not going to want to help the needy,

I'm probably going to want to strangle them.

If you're desperate Peter,

there's the door.

May I?

Of course.

Oh, what to do?

What to do?

Go ahead. Say it.

Shit!

Feel better?

Moderately, yes.

The last of the "black robes," huh? Off to the new world.

The wilds of Alabama. We few. We happy few.

Oh, happiness has nothing to do with it.

[Father Tew] Exactly.

You've been cooped up here for months.

The best thing in the world for you is to get out

and work with other people.

And don't give me that bit about being true to yourself.

If we were all true to ourselves,

we'd still be hanging from the trees.

Besides, I think you are going to have a great time, you know.

Relax. Go.

You'll be back here in six weeks tops.

And if I decided it's not for me?

I'll help you pack.

We've got no interest in keeping anybody here against their will.

I guess we've been a pretty sorry class.

Seven months ago there were...

six of us and now.

Two.

But we try to be philosophical

about these things.

I'm sorry about your pants.

Peter, I want you to go.

[Tew] Work hard and ask god to help you make this decision.

You'll get an answer.

I just don't understand

what you think I'm going to do there.

Prosper.

- It could be worse. - Come on.

[Peter] Oh, my feet are killing me.

Hello.

Take it easy.

They knew we were coming.

[sighs]

What are you doing?

Taking my shoes off. My feet are killing me.

[Peter groans]

I think there's a light on in the back.

Okay. I'm going to check around back.

You keep trying here.

[Peter] Happy, humble Mexican,

my ass. [grunts]

[sheep bleats]

[parrot shrieks]

[Father Benkhe] Hello!

Who's out there?

[Peter exclaims] It's Peter. One of your novices

- from Heron Bay. - Peter! Peter!

What are you doing out there?

- Hi. Hi. Father Benkhe. - Hi.

Nice to meet you. You got to be careful

with that goat. He's a lethal weapon.

- [Benkhe] Where's your friend? - Uh, He should be around front.

[Peter] That's where I left him.

- [Benkhe] You're Gilbert? - Yes.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Welcome! I'm Father Benkhe.

[exclaims] Nice to see you. Nice to meet you.

Found your friend in back trying to attack my goat.

How come you got inside the building and he didn't?

The door was open.

The door was open? The front door was open?

[stammers] So, what were you doing sneaking around the back?

- Never mind. That your luggage? - Yeah, that's mine.

Come on upstairs. I'll show you to your rooms

we'll have to leave you boys to your own devices.

I'm... in the middle of a phone conversation

with a major contributor.

She's in the middle of giving me a lecture

on our community members. What's required of them

in terms of their cleanliness and religious observances.

- [Gilbert] Community members. - Yes. Yes.

We call the people we serve here "community members."

Not "the poor," not "the needy" and not "the homeless."

And I'd like you both to please remember

that as long as you're working here.

I'm going to have to tell this woman as gently

as I possibly can that she does not make the rules around here.

Most of the people we serve are not Catholics,

and although we follow the observances,

it's not something we require of them.

[exclaims] I'm very grateful for this woman's support,

but to tell you the truth, I don't like her very much,

so I'm not really looking forward to this telephone call.

Have you guys had anything to eat?

- Are you hungry? - I'm okay.

- I'm fine. - Yeah? Are you sure?

Well, if you change your mind, we have a walk-in cooler

downstairs, so please avail of yourself of it

in the middle of the night, and any time at all.

[exclaims]

Where are your shoes, son?

Oh, they're on the front porch.

Okay, Gilbert, this'll be your room.

Peter, that's your room over there.

[exclaims] Bathroom's over here.

Two showers, two commodes.

[exclaims]

I expect you for mass 7 a.m sharp in the chapel

tomorrow morning. That's 7 a.m sharp.

Please, don't be late.

After that we'll have breakfast.

I'll introduce you to everybody, and we'll go to work.

[exclaims] Now I'm going to have to get back on the phone,

otherwise this woman's going to excommunicate me.

Have a nice night. God bless!

- Thank you very much. - Thank you.

[sighs]

[soft music]

Oh!

[door creaks]

[Peter] Oh, shit!

What time is it?

7:16.

[door opens]

[groans]

Did you fall down?

[exclaims]

No. I was just... I was looking for some...

[exclaims] bread and peanut butter for... [yawns]

a sandwich and...

milk.

Everybody has got their own job to do and the job changes

from week to week. Things like,

picking up the garbage. It's things like that.

[Benkhe] But the main work is in here.

Lunch and it goes on five days a week, Monday to Friday.

And the person who runs the whole thing is

- Lillie. - Lillie?

[Benkhe] That's the dynamo right there.

Where you cannot love the father without also loving

- your brother. - Oh, man. This is bullshit!

- It's dinner time. - Pipe down during announcements,

Luther.

As I was saying...

well, good morning sunshine!

We've been wondering when you'd wake up.

Wait a minute, hon. Take these rolls out with you.

Wait a minute! Here, boy.

Don't look at me like that.

Father Benkhe said not to wake you.

[exclaims]

[phone ringing]

- Do you want me to get that? - No.

You want me to call Father Tew

and tell him he sent me a "bum novice?"

No.

I'd hate to embarrass him.

He's an old friend of mine.

Look, you can stay in the Jesuits or leave.

It really makes no difference to me.

But while you are here, I'd like you to do your work.

- Is that clear? - Yeah.

After lunch I'd like you to do some work

in the kitchen with Ettu,

- all right? - Okay.

Jill. [whistles]

[Benkhe] Could you check with Ettu, please?

There's a food list. I need you to make a run

- into town. - Will do, chief.

[Benkhe] Oh, and...

take the other new guy with you, Gilbert.

- All right? - Sure.

And tonight I'd like you to drive into town

and see if you can find some people to give some meal cards

- to, okay? - Yes, sir.

[Benkhe] That's Jill Yarrut. She's trying to get to Africa

with the Peace Corps, and she's going to be

really missed.

You comfortable with the idea of chopping some onions?

- Yeah. - Good.

Were you looking for these?

[exclaims]

As a matter of fact, I wasn't.

Well, they're yours, aren't they?

I don't see anybody else walking around here barefoot.

Leave the boy alone, Lilee.

[Lille] You're not like the other seminarians, are you?

I don't know. What were they like?

Prim, proper, boring.

[Lille] But you...

what?

You've got a lot to learn,

grasshopper.

Did you just call me grasshopper?

Who found you in the cooler?

[exclaims]

That "Joan Baez" girl. The "granola chick."

- Jill, here's the grocery list. - Thank you.

Thank you, honey.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

Okay. Look, you want to go "rocks-paper-scissors"

for the reading?

- To do it or to not to do it? - Not to do it.

I'll do it.

- Okay. - Peter, I'm gonna need you

to run an errand for me this afternoon.

There's a parish down the coast that has a day care center.

And they had a fire over the weekend

that completely destroyed their kitchen,

so we're gonna bring some food to the kiddies.

You'll be able to take Jill with you.

And there's a priest there, Father McIlhenny who's a...

[Benkhe] Son, do you own a pair of shoes?

No. Not currently.

Well, go to the donation room and find a pair.

You'll do the reading this morning.

Oh, like I had anything to do with that.

Now...

Will you be needing shoes for six feet,

my little grasshopper, or two?

Two.

[car door closes]

These things are itching me.

- I feel like "Peter the Menace." - [laughs] You look fine, "ewe."

You mean... [groans]

you mean, ewe like a female sheep?

I can't believe you found anything in there.

Clothes strewn everywhere.

Somebody really needs to get in there,

- and straighten things out. - Yeah.

[Irene] I don't want my child listening to that kind of trash

from a priest! It's terrible the way he talks

in front of those kids! [laughs] Man like that!

A priest! God almighty!

Irene, Carl hasn't had his lunch yet.

- Oh! - Irene.

- My boy... - Irene, stop!

What's terrible?

How do you know my name?

She just said it.

- Father. - Mam, I'm not a priest.

Something's got to be done about that man.

- [Peter] What man? - That man right there.

What exactly did he say?

"Doo doo."

Okay, you said, "doo doo?"

- Well, shit actually. - Okay. "Shit" then.

Well, damn it. The kid picked up a dog turd.

He was waving it at the other children.

Then he dropped it. I walked in it.

Got it all over my shoes.

What the hell was I supposed to say?

- What size shoes are those? - And that damned Irene.

She's crazy as a... carrying on, making a ruckus

and nobody understands her child. What a load of crap!

But it's all right now. I mean, they're all inside

- having lunch. - I spent 26 years

teaching Shakespeare in one of the poorest places

on earth. And in all that time

I had more success with those people

than I've had here in the parish I grew up in.

I was put on this Earth to work in the bush,

but no. They yank me out of there

and put me in this godforsaken spot.

A lovely place to retire, says the provincial.

Lovely place, my ass!

- Where were you? - The "Dark Continent," Africa.

- That's where Jill wants to go. - Jill?

Who's Jill?

She's was the girl I came in with.

You probably didn't see her. She took them...

- around to lunch. - With the nice, small boobs?

- And that was the right one? - [laughs]

[Victoria] Can you remember the last time

the old man looked so happy?

About time that old bastard went to confession.

Oh, yeah. Don't get me started on Africa. I could go on.

- [chuckles] - [Peter] Oh, we've got time.

[Jill] No, we had a little excitement

at Saint Jude's, so we're running a little bit late.

Right, chief.

Will do.

Bye, bye.

Is he worried about us?

More about Father McIlhenny.

He sounded pleased with the way you handled things though.

Feel better?

Oh, much. It's five percent alcohol.

Have a seat.

Don't you think we need to get back?

No.

Got you a present.

Why did it make you so mad when Victoria called you Father?

You want to sit down?

I'm just wondering how someone like you decided to be a priest.

Well, everyone has things about them that would surprise

other people.

I know ballet.

Yeah?

Don't say it like that. [laughs]

- "Arabesque." Voila! - [laughs]

- Surprised? - Yeah, I'm astonished.

Your turn.

Oh, it's my turn. [exclaims]

Astonish Jill.

You know you can see satellites from here?

No.

- Up there from here? - Yeah. Surprised?

- Skeptical. - Something I learned in Brazil.

Brazil?

When were you in Brazil?

After college with the Jesuit Volunteer Corp.

If you look straight up after the sun goes down...

That's like the Peace Corps, right?

That's right.

If you look straight up after the sun goes down...

they're made out of this shiny material...

that reflects the sun's light in the evenings...

and on slow nights we'd just lie on the beach and watch them.

Were there lots of slow nights in Brazil?

Yeah. It wasn't Rio.

Anyway, they fly in a circumpolar orbit,

which means around the poles, North to South,

or an equatorial pattern, which is, you know,

across the equator, East to west.

About a hundred miles up.

Five hundred eighty two thousand feet.

I've totally lost you, haven't I?

- No. [laughs] - No?

- Liar. - [chuckles]

Have you tried Tylenol?

I didn't say a goddamned headache, Gilbert.

[sighs] I said my feet are growing.

So, buy new shoes.

I'd grow out of a new pair

in a week.

Have Benkhe take you to the doctor.

Just a suggestion.

- [sighs] - She has another guy after her.

Name's Henry.

Some big shot who sits on Seaside's Board of Directors.

The Re-enactment, his brainchild.

Real involved here doing a lot of pro-bono work

for the members. Lilee says Jill likes him.

So pro-bono. So he's a lawyer?

[Gilbert] Worse. He's an attorney.

Don't you worry, okay? We are gonna sue those sons

of guns six ways to Sunday, I promise you.

- Hey, Sweetie. - Hi.

- How are you doing? - Are you helping Miss Hannah?

- Yeah, a little bit. - [chuckles]

- Ready for dinner? - Yeah, I'm starving.

[Jill] All right. Henry Olden, the gentleman

in the suit over there is here today to talk

about our big fundraiser,

the Civil War Re-enactment that's coming up next month.

[all clapping]

I'm sure most of you recognize Henry.

He’s the lawyer who comes in every two weeks

to stop our legal-aid clinic.

[Benkhe] Henry! henry!

Probably better not to point the gun at people.

Thanks.

Anyway, if you have any legal questions, you know,

credit card debt, housing issues

or if you're in trouble with the law,

Henry is here to offer free legal advice.

[burps]

Except for Luther.

[laughs]

[all clapping]

Who is that guy?

So... I give up the Peace Corps and Seaside offers me

a fulltime position.

I could make it happen in a heartbeat.

And Benkhe would be all over it.

Henry, tell me you haven't spoken to Benkhe

- about this already. - Of course, I've spoken to him

about it. I'm on the board of directors.

That's not the point.

- What's the point? - The point is...

the Peace Corps is not something I want to do.

It's something I need to do.

You've applied twice and you've been rejected

both times. You have one more meeting next week.

Maybe, it's just not meant to be.

It's noble to want to give back.

But you don't need to do this.

Act locally.

That's what you always say.

Well...

this is local, Jill. Right where you grew up.

In four weeks your parents are having a cocktail party

for the Civil War re-enactment.

Just think about it.

And tell me and Benkhe then.

Okay?

Was that you looking in my mailbox?

Did you go to Brazil because you wanted to

or you needed to?

What are you doing?

Hunting for shoes. Which do you like?

[exclaims] I wanted to go,

so I went.

What about Seminary? Was that want or need?

When I entered, it was need.

Now I'm not so sure.

- You don't know? - That I'm not sure.

[laughs softly]

- Strike one. - Well, that's kind of vague.

I wouldn't think a real Jesuit would accept that.

Well, since I haven't been ordained,

I'm not a real Jesuit.

So, I don't fall into that category.

You could ask a real Jesuit.

Ask Benkhe.

I did.

And?

And he said, Want isn't part of the equation.

And why is that?

He said, the goal is to make yourself indifferent

- to what you want. - Indifference?

Isn't that an odd goal for a priest

who runs a soup kitchen?

Well, Benkhe says it's more of a technical term,

which doesn't mean apathetic like you don't care.

It just means by ignoring distractions of the world,

you free yourself to follow your call.

That's very good.

If he outlived the current pope, maybe he could be the priest.

I think you're an idealist.

A disillusioned idealist.

And I think seminary life hasn't turned out exactly

the way you planned.

And now you're sitting here...

flirting with me because...

you don't know the difference between want and need.

[Peter] So why are you sitting here flirting with me?

Aren't you gonna tell me I have nice feet?

When you find a pair that fits.

Come inside. There's work to do.

Hope my feet can rise to the occasion.

[groans softly]

You shitass mother...

♪ I could have married A pretty little girl ♪

♪ She would have married me ♪

...He can be sweet, but you got to know

- how to treat him. - [exclaims]

I think I stepped near his feedbag or something.

Amen.

♪ Dark as the deep black sea ♪

♪ He had to go ♪

♪ He had to laugh ♪

♪ He had a tie on his hand ♪

♪ I am just a house pup And then ♪

♪ But I am a fine young man ♪

[gasps]

Oh!

No, I'm telling you like it is, Miss Ettu.

- When "Grasshopper" got here... - Grasshopper?

Peter. He was wearing a size nine and a half.

Now, he's two sizes bigger.

The boy's feet are undergoing some serious adjustments.

I've let him in the clothing closet twice already

trying to find a pair that fits.

[exclaims]

You know what they say about a man's feet?

Oh!

You're a bad girl for a young lady!

- What size? - Eleven and a half.

- Oh! [laughs] - [laughs]

What's wrong with Peter's feet?

Feet grow like weeds.

[exclaims]

Father Benkhe. [laughs]

[Ettu and Lille laugh]

Peter is a shit.

- [parrot] Peter. - Peter is a shit.

- Peter. - Peter is a shit.

[Gilbert] You're a troll killer. I bet you are.

- [Benkhe] Gilbert? - Peter is a shit.

Why is the door open?

- Peter has some food to unload. - [Benkhe] Yes, but you are here.

The door's got to stay closed.

Why do I have to tell you this all the time?

We can't leave the door open, Gilbert.

It's the only food we've got.

[Luther] Peter is a shit.

[sheep bleats]

- Peter! - [Peter] Yeah.

- Can I see you for a minute? - [Peter] Sure.

[Luther] Peter is a shit. [parrot speaking]

Peter is a shit.

- Shut up! Both of you. - [parrot] Peter shit.

[Benkhe] I don't have to tell you that again.

You hear me, Luther?

Look at me when I'm talking to you.

You hear what I'm telling you?

We don't want to hear that kind of talk around here anymore.

[Peter] Okay, just unload this and... lock up when you're done.

Peter is a shit.

- [parrot] Peter is a shit. - An exchange student

from the big dipper.

Come on. We're gonna go on an errand for a little while.

- Where we going? - I'll tell you in the car.

Gilbert!

We're running an errand for about 45 minutes.

We're gonna leave you here all alone...

to run things.

- [Benkhe] Can you handle that? - Absolutely.

Great.

See you in a while.

[Luther] Peter is...

well, that's one hell of a thing.

You're feet are growing.

He gave me these. Thanks.

[sighs] They're a half size too big as a precaution.

Peter...

those are the same shoes my father wore...

- when he was 95 years old. - [laughs]

- You like ice cream? - Yeah.

Frozen yogurt?

- Yeah. - Let's go.

[scoffs] Security!

If Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers...

how many peppers could Peter...

Piper pick?

Nice, Peter.

Very nice.

[Benkhe] Oh!

What's going on here?

Gilbert?

- What's going on? - Well, there seems to be

a burglary, sir, uh, Father.

A burglar?

Well, they didn't even have to break a lock.

They just walked in, and took everything

Talk to me, Gilbert. Fast!

I thought it was locked.

You thought it was locked!

[Peter] I did that.

That was me.

Oh, you did, did you?

[Peter] Yeah, I forgot to give him the keys,

and I didn't tell him about the lock.

This is my fault.

[Benkhe] We're a soup kitchen,

Peter. That's all the food we've got. Two days' worth.

These people rely on us.

[sad music]

[phone ringing]

- [Father Tew] Hello. - [Peter] Hey, it's me.

Wow. Hello, "me."

- [Peter] Its Peter, Father Tew. - [Father Tew] I know Peter.

How are you?

I'm better and worse, if that's possible.

[Father Tew] It is. But I wouldn't worry about it.

- Well, are you worried about it? - [Father Tew] No.

The novices I typically worry about are the ones

who never worry.

Is something bothering you?

- Well... - Come on tell me.

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

- Peter, you're only 22. - Right. Well, I'll be 23

in a few weeks, so...

have you ever had one of those? A mid-life crisis I mean.

[Father Tew] Either none or many. I'm not sure which.

Do you want to leave now, Peter? Is that what I'm hearing?

I just want everything to workout, okay

You know? And not just for me. I mean for everyone.

- [Father Tew] It will. - [Peter exclaims]

You wouldn't be so sure if you were here.

[Father Tew] Do you want me to ask what that means?

No, no. No, not yet anyway.

[Father Tew] Well, Peter, if it's not to be,

it's not to be. It's better that way,

and it's better we find out now. You have three more weeks.

Just try to enjoy yourself, and take it easy.

[Peter] Alright.

[Father Tew] Take care, Peter.

Bye.

[laughs softly]

[Peter] Blessed be God. Blessed be His holy name.

Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true man.

Blessed be...

shit.

[snoring]

[bleats]

[sighs]

[frog croaking]

[whistles]

Hey, froggy.

[cheerful music]

[phone ringing] Hello.

Hi, Yeah. Thanks for calling back.

- Rice, pasta, fruits. - Yeah, we have that.

Vegetables.

[Jill] It's true. Vegetables are all we need.

Oh, peanut butter.

[everyone talking]

Yeah, I don't see the problem either.

Yeah, but you're a super market. Don't you have canned soup or...

[everyone talking]

Yeah, we really need you.

And the community needs you.

[Peter] We want you to help us,

help them.

[Ettu] People sure are being kind.

We got enough to feed old fat Luther for a year.

[laughs]

[Lilee] No, you can't get some of it back

after we're done with it.

[everyone talking]

Food Plus says they'll send over a truck this afternoon.

Great.

Sadie says they'll send over twenty-five pounds of ham hocks.

Outstanding.

Uh, Victoria from Saint Jude called just now.

You made quite an impression on her.

She heard about our problems, they've organized their forces,

and they got food for us.

I'd like you to drive down there with me this afternoon.

can we do it later? We have to stop

out at this farm. Pick up some vegetables.

Who'd you talk to, "Ewe?"

I think it was that fat man over there.

How'd you know he was fat?

Well, he sounded fat on the phone.

Don't be nasty.

[Gilbert] She calls you ewe?

Yeah, e-w-e.

It's a nickname.

- She thinks you're a sheep? - It's a nickname, Gilbert.

- Yeah. - It's a nickname.

[bleats]

Sure. Let me ask.

Peter, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah.

He wants to know if you wouldn't mind speaking

to the workers?

If I wouldn't mind speaking to them?

Yeah. When they heard you were a seminarian,

they really perked up.

What am I gonna say to them?

Something inspirational?

Did you happen to notice they're Mexican?

Well, you lived in Brazil. You speak Spanish.

Well yeah, except they speak Portuguese in Brazil.

Well, they're kind of the same, right?

[laughs] No. It's a totally different language.

[Peter] Hi. Everyone just gather around me for a minute.

Come on in.

[romantic music]

[no audio]

- Hi. You Peter? - Gilbert.

Yeah, I was supposed to deliver this stuff

to the Seaside Mission. Is that you?

Sure. We can use it.

All right. Well, here's the deal.

I don't lift a finger. You all want it,

you all unload it, you got it? I ain't touching a thing

Alright.

I'm gonna go step in here and take a leak.

[Ettu exclaims]

[Benkhe] Where is everybody?

I don't know.

Go to the chapel. Look for the food.

I'll see if I can find McIlhenny.

Alright.

Father McIlhenny?

The food's in the closet by the door.

[Father McIlhenny] Care for a cigarette?

[exclaims] No, thanks. I don't smoke.

[Mcllhenny] I don't either, actually.

But it's quite pleasant

Cool, minty.

Salubrious even.

Salubrious?

Where is everyone? All the kids and teachers?

I sent them home. They were making too much noise.

Uh, Father Benkhe is here.

Does he still have that little petting zoo of his?

Yeah. The parrot and stuff?

- Yeah. - That's nice.

I like that.

I like animals.

Tell him I won't see him.

I'm not sure he'll like that.

Then tell him I said to piss off.

Thank you for the food.

Happy I could help.

- [Mcllhenny] Oh, and Peter? - Yes?

There's an envelope in with the food.

A gift from me to you.

[Mcllhenny] Oh, and Peter?

Yeah.

You're gonna make a fine priest.

Did you see anybody? Did you find McIlhenny?

No, but I got the food.

- It's in the van. - Great. Great.

[sighs] Well...

I'll call him later. Let's go.

You've never had a lobster thermidor?

It's like eating a big insect for me.

[laughs] You're crazy.

Lobster thermidor is one of the world's great delicacies.

Where? All over the world?

[Benkhe] I would say so, yeah.

[crowd shouting indistinctly]

[Ettu] Gilbert, you got to stop them!

What am I supposed to do?

[Peter] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Sorry.

Hold on, sir. Wait, wait, wait!

Excuse me!

Come on! Come on guys!

[siren wails]

[overlapping chatter]

[Peter] God dammit!

Quiet!

Okay. Everyone just calm down a second, alright. Just...

look, everyone that has something in their hands,

just put it down. You won't get in trouble.

We'll tell the cops to go away. No one's gonna get arrested,

all right?

[Put that down, sir. Please. Mam, give me that back to me.

Sir! How about yourself?

Luther! Get your ass over here with those peaches!

[Peter] Thank you.

Don't even think about it, Luther. [shouts]

[knock on window]

[chuckles]

- Hi. - Hi.

- You can't come in. - I brought you a present.

Benkhe would freak if he knew you were up here.

I'm rebellious.

- I won't stay long. - Oh, I don't care.

How's the foot?

It's okay.

You know lots of people have one leg that's longer

- than the other... - Okay, stop I don't want

to hear any more about my feet.

Okay.

Well, don't you want to see what it is?

Not foot powder or nothing?

Is it a beer?

[laughs] Sorry,

[exclaims]

I assume the second one is yours?

- [exclaims] - Okay

I was... thinking maybe you should take a break.

You know, just...

get out for a while.

Did you know I was planning to leave the seminary?

I think so.

What kind of break did you have in mind?

A little trip.

You and me?

Not exactly

Hey, did guys know that some of the very first Jesuits

in the New World came to this area...

converting Indians.

[Jill] Really?

[alligator growls] What was that?

That's alligators.

Alligators?

Yeah. They're bull alligators.

Bull alligator?

Yeah. They're staking out their territory.

Territory? For what?

Mating season, Gilbert.

Need some help?

- I can manage. Thanks. - Where is Lilee?

Hunting fire wood.

You know I have matches.

- No, thank you. - Okay.

Okay. Come and join us, when you get it going.

Be careful.

What?

Yesterday I heard her tell Father Benkhe

that it might not be such a bad thing

if she got turned down by the Peace Corps.

- So? - So, she's come a long way

for you. She's not going to back down now.

You hunting satellites?

Just looking.

God, it's nice out here.

Yeah.

What was brazil like?

[soft melodic music]

I was in a small fishing village

in the North.

And the whole town smelled like fish.

[laughs softly]

I mean the people, the furniture...

and especially the dogs who'd...

lay around the alter during communion.

Just unimaginable poverty.

Made you happy?

[Peter] Oh, your hands are cold.

[Jill chuckles]

I guess all the blood's in my uterus.

- [Peter] What? - [Jill chuckles]

They say when a woman gets cold,

all the blood goes to her uterus.

Okay. Well, that was...

some totally necessary information.

[laughs]

[Jill] Sorry.

[Gilbert exclaims] I did it!

[laughs] I did it! I told you I'll do it.

Did you do that with those two sticks?

[Gilbert] I almost lit my eyebrow on fire.

I can't believe he got that thing lit.

I put lighter fluid on the wood when he went to pee.

- Did you? - [chuckles]

- [Gilbert] I did it! - Don't tell anyone.

- What? And shatter his heart? - [giggles]

[Gilbert] That is a good, clean game of Bingo, sir.

You're almost there.

I'm gonna drain.

Its G56, not 46.

You've had enough.

[Gilbert] Stop cheating,

alright.

Okay. Well, I think we're reaching the end of this,

and I know we have had a couple false starts,

though I'm not pointing any fingers.

B7?

B7?

[Peter] Hannah? Not again!

Congratulations, Hannah! [all clapping]

Oh man!

- Look. You got some prizes. - Congratulations, Hannah.

Do you need a ride home tonight, Hannah?

Gilbert, you want to?

- Hi. - Hi.

How long does it take to get Hannah home?

- Uh, 15 minutes there and back. - Oh, yeah?

- Are you nervous? - No.

Wait. Not here, ewe.

- Well, this is kind of... - [laughs] Wait.

- Gilbert will come in that way. - Okay.

No, I'm serious.

[switch clicks]

- That's Henry. - What's he doing here?

Well, come on. Let's go upstairs.

It's a little early for that.

Well, where do you think we could...

[door opens] Shit!

[Peter laughs]

[whistles]

Are you looking for the two ewes?

"The two Ewes?"

Yeah. Uh, Jill Ewe.

Peter Ewe, as in sheep. E-W-E-S.

That's they're little nickname.

Gilbert?

What are you talking about?

- [exclaims] - What?

Something's sticking me. Something's in your pocket.

[laughs]

- What is that? - It's, uh, nothing.

- [Jill] I'll get it. - No. I got it. I got it.

- [laughs] - No, no, no, no, no, no.

[shushes] [door creaks]

[door closes]

Is it Gilbert?

[shushes]

Who is it? [footsteps approaching]

[Jill] Gilbert?

[door opens and shuts]

[sighs] That was my boss.

- Novice master? [laughs] - Yeah.

[exclaims]

What?

I don't understand.

You can't tell me or you won't?

I'm sorry, ewe. I...

God damn you, Peter.

- Wait, Jill. - God damn it. I need to go.

- [Peter] Wait a minute. Hold on. - No.

It's late.

[sad music]

[laughing]

[Benkhe] Work it out.

[Tew] You know how it's gonna go?

You know how it's gonna go?

[laughs]

Father Benkhe?

"N.J.M?"

Not Jesuit Material?

[sighs]

Not Jesuit Material?

[man] I'm not saying that you're not cut out for it, Miss Yarrut.

I'm just saying that the current need

is for applicants with advanced degrees.

You know. Useful, hands-on things like engineering

and medicine?

There just aren't a lot of jobs for teachers right now.

I'm sorry, but I don't want you to get discouraged.

Something may turn up, okay?

Thanks for your time.

Haven't seen Jill around in a couple days.

Is she sick?

I don't know.

Should have asked the man himself. He was just here.

- Who was just here? Henry.

Henry?

I didn't see him come in.

That's cause he went in round back.

Wait a minute. Henry has a key to the back?

He's on the board of directors, Peter.

The man can do whatever he wants.

[sheep bleats] [Peter] Whoa!

[Peter groans]

- Are you alright? - Yeah.

[Ettu] Isn't that nice of Henry to donate that little darling

for Easter dinner? [exclaims]

Cute, but she'll cook up nice.

[exclaims]

You know, that Henry is a nice boy.

Oh, that's bullshit. He's just doing it

for some booty.

Luther! Henry's just trying to cheer her up.

- Cheer who up? - Jill.

After her bad news.

- What's her bad news? - Peace Corps called.

Turned her down again?

[Ettu] Turned her down again. Poor girl. She was all upset.

[exclaims]

What the hell's all this weeds Henry left here?

That's rosemary, Luther.

It's for the lamb. It's an herb.

- You eat it. - [Ettu laughs]

Smell like them air fresheners you put in your toilet

after you done done your business.

- [chuckles] - Get out!

Get the hell out of my kitchen!

Come on, goat.

Where does Jill live?

[Peter] You don't know?

Lilee, where's Jill live?

I don't know what the god damn secret is.

Shit!

[laughs] It's so loud.

They're just blanks, sweetheart.

I heard that about you.

Did you bring the hottie with the small boobs?

No.

This is well. I got terrific gas today.

[Mcllhenny] Come here. Come on.

Come on. [crow cawing]

[laughs]

Never seen a bird like that.

It's a crow. An African Pied Crow.

An African Pied Crow?

Yeah. "Corvus Albus." Latin.

I heard about your little triumph last week.

I thought yelling "God damn" at the assembled multitude

was a particularly nice touch.

Oh, you're a shrewd little bastard. [chuckles]

So how did Benkhe react to one of his novices cursing

at his beloved rabble?

Well, I guess he was pleased.

Well, he's another shrewd bastard.

He's very indulgent of you, you know.

Well, what are they gonna do?

Their little world is being eaten up by a bigger world.

You mean our little world.

The day I left Zimbabwe,

an elephant broke into my vegetable garden.

Imagine that.

Waking up every morning in a place where wild elephants

come traipsing through your backyard.

What did you do?

To the elephant? Nothing. [laughs]

Well, I said, "Good morning."

Then the son of a bitch takes one look at me,

tramples my wild flowers,

eats my corn and takes a dump on my zucchini.

- [chuckles] - And that's it?

Yeah. Well, I reckon he marched his merry ass on home.

I don't know.

Is that what you wanted to say to me?

Yeah.

Oh, Peter.

Yeah.

She seen you in your clerics?

[Peter] No.

Good.

It gets them every time.

I've wanted a woman many, many times in my life,

but in the 37 years I've been a priest,

I've never wanted a wife.

Did you do much dating before you went into the seminary?

Yeah, I had a couple...

girlfriends.

Well, I did a lot better than that in my early years.

But then I began to see that the only thing

on the face of the Earth that I could control

was myself and my passions,

which was... the beginning of my commitment

to this way of life.

I had control. I gained freedom finally.

I don't the feeling that passion control

is something you're particularly interested in, Peter.

I don't know.

You don't know.

Well, I don't like to keep anything from you, Peter.

so I want you to know that it was my recommendation

to Father Tew that you not continue as a novice.

[Benkhe] You still have some fields to plow,

some oats to sew.

Is that pretty accurate?

Does that sum up the way you feel?

Does that make you happy?

What's going to happen to Father McIlhenny?

Oh, parishioners will keep complaining about him

till the Bishop forces him to retire.

Then where does he go?

Our "elephant graveyard." Xavier house, New Orleans,

where they send all of us old codgers.

He's a good priest.

- He misses Africa. - Yeah. [laughs]

It's amazing.

Chopped up by a machete a couple of times,

and had malaria six times, and he still wants to go back.

[exclaims]

What does the word salubrious mean?

- Salubrious? - Yeah.

Salubrious means... that which promotes good health

and wellbeing.

[Benkhe] Well...

I'm gonna hit the hay.

It's happiness.

Happiness indeed.

Goodnight, Captain.

Good night.

[swats fly]

[whistles]

Come and get it.

Yeah.

I gotta go down the coast, and hear some confessions

at a convent. Gilbert's coming with me.

Do you want to tag along?

Oh, I don't think so.

I'm buying lunch. Best oysters on the coast.

Well, I just kind of want to...

- rest today. - Okay.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

[sighs]

Peace be with you.

Son of a bitch!

[gloomy music]

[sheep bleating]

[parrot] Peter is a shit.

[knock on door]

- Hi. - Hi.

I've been looking all over for you.

I thought you disappeared.

Well, I'm sorry about the Peace Corps.

Did you come to save Henry's sheep?

Actually, I came to take you away.

You came to take me away?

To save you... from embarrassment [laughs]

at the re-enactors cocktail party tomorrow night

- at my parents' house. - Oh.

[Jill] It's a fancy party,

and I was thinking maybe we could get you

some new shoes,

and just get out for a while.

I have to listen to confessions for about an hour.

And the nuns are a little bit squirrelly about visitors.

So if you would be kind enough to respect the private areas.

Think you can do that?

[Peter] Well, they seem kind of... fancy.

[Jill] They're not fancy, just stylish.

I don't know about the color though.

Yeah. Me neither. Do you have them in brown?

Uh, no, sir. But black is your color.

What do you think, Ewe?

Well, they're all right.

They look good in fact, but...

just get them. They're you.

They're imported calfskin.

You hungry, lad?

- Starved. - Let's go.

[Jill laughs]

You want to go first?

Whoa! Father Pat?

Forgive me, son.

Blessed be God. Blessed be his holy name.

Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true man.

Blessed be his sacred heart.

[Peter] Blessed be the name of Jesus.

Blessed be Jesus, the most noble sacrifice.

So...

you knew the priest in the restaurant?

Yeah, from seminary.

What was he doing in New Orleans?

He's retiring.

It's okay, Peter.

If that's what you want then I...

[Peter] I'm ready to leave.

I'm sure Father Benkhe would... agree with that.

What are you gonna do?

I could work here.

At Seaside?

Yeah.

- Sure. - [chuckles]

You could do that?

Yeah, if I leave the seminary.

[Benkhe] For nearly 300 years, there's been a Jesuit presence

here along the Gulf Coast.

And for 26 of those years, the Seaside Rescue Mission

has been ministering to the needs of the lonely,

to the dispossessed, the sick and the hungry,

to the needs of the people in our community.

And you, our faithful friends and benefactors,

have always been there and you're here again tonight.

I have to admit, when Henry first approached me

about selling tickets for a Civil War Re-Enactment,

I... was a little bit dubious.

But after getting a look at him in in full regalia,

I changed my mind. I know it's going to be a great success.

[all clapping] Thank you, Henry,

for all your efforts.

All right. Now I'd like to introduce you to

two very, very special young men.

Peter Pekorius and Gilbert Benny are Jesuit novices from seminary

who've been assigned to work for us.

[voice trailing off] [loving music]

[all clapping]

So I ask you to please keep these young men

and their vocation in your prayers.

And finally, I would just simply like to thank you.

Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart

for your devotion,

for your extraordinary contributions and your love.

God bless you all. [all clapping]

[background chatter]

Oh!

Hang a Jesuit and you'll make off with the rope.

It's an old Spanish saying.

Guess they didn't trust the Jesuits too much either.

[Henry] You were all over her like a hobo on a ham sandwich.

But why should I care.

In a couple days, you're going to be out of here, right?

[Peter] I know...

you left the storage shed unlocked.

So what is it like to think that you're called

to be a priest?

[Henry] Is it just... one day you get a wracking, sickling

in your bones?

Or is it more like a... you know, a slow process?

Lonely nights spent wandering the streets, rosary in hand,

deep in prayerful meditation?

No, no. I haven't had a clue.

[muted chattering]

[grunts]

[loud thud]

Did you break something?

I just dropped all the missals'.

- [Gilbert] Give me a hand? - Yeah, sure.

When we get back to Heron Bay I'm gonna tell Father Tew

I'm leaving.

- Don't act surprised. - [laughs]

How about you?

I don't know.

Well, I for one believe that you never intended on leaving.

I think what you really wanted was a reason to stay,

and Eduardo gave you the opportunity.

Gentlemen, a couple of things.

[exclaims] First of all, I would like to express

my gratitude for your fine work for the past six weeks,

and secondly I'd like to remind you that the boat to the fort

leaves at 9 a.m tomorrow.

so please be dressed and ready at 7 a.m sharp. Can you handle

- that, Peter? - Oh, yeah.

[Benkhe] Very good.

[Jill's mom] Jill. Telephone.

Hi.

Guess who called.

The Peace Corps.

I'm going to India.

You're going to India?

Father Benkhe told me at the party he knew someone

in Washington who could help.

They called tonight.

And you leave soon?

Wow! [laughs]

That's great.

What about...

Henry and the re-enactment? Are you gonna be here for that?

[exclaims]

What time is it?

It's late.

Your hands are cold.

It's chilly outside.

What?

I was just...

remembering when you said about...

when a woman gets cold, where her blood goes.

[Peter] How long will you be gone?

A year.

- Maybe two. - You're nervous?

- No. - Excited?

I think so.

[speaking in Latin]

[laughs]

Did you know Indian elephants

have smaller ears than African elephants?

- Did you care? - Oh, yeah.

[chuckles]

Are you gonna keep the shoes?

Yeah, I hope so.

Nervous?

I'm salubrious.

- Salubrious. - Salubrious.

[re-enactment General] Ready!

[men running]

He decided he didn't like it, and he was just totally...

[woman] Excuse me, Father. You're on our ice chest.

Damnation, woman.

I wouldn't piss on your ice chest.

Mommy, that man said a bad word.

Father McIlhenny.

Oh! [laughs]

I think I am a little out of my element here.

[sheep bleats] Oh, look.

A lamb.

What the hell are you doing out here, you little bastard?

Father, it's Jill. Nice to see you again.

[distant firing] [Peter] What do you think?

You think the children at Saint Jude's would like

a little petting zoo?

- Oh, I do! Yes! Oh, yes! - Okay.

- We'll walk you to your car. - I...

took the bus.

Well, I'm headed back to town, Father. I could...

give you a ride if you like. My jeep's right over there.

- That would be nice. May I? - Yeah.

- I have to get back. - Yeah.

- To pack. - Yeah, I figured.

[whistles]

[Peter] Father Benkhe.

Shit!

I'll take it from here, Fred.

Gilbert, you'll wait for me in the car?

Luther. Come on.

What a pleasant surprise.

I know. I thought you weren't coming till tomorrow.

Well, Father Benkhe was a little concerned.

He thought you'd gone AWOL.

I was actually hoping to see you.

- Here I am. - Because...

I was hoping to come back with you.

- Come back with me? - [Peter] Yeah.

To continue as a novice. I mean, if that's not a problem.

Well, I think it would be a problem.

[Tew] As a matter of fact, I don't think it would be

possible at all. And you understand, Peter,

that's just because you've done a wonderful, horrible job.

Benkhe tells me you're quite a prodigy

at gathering food, and ministering to people.

And he also tells me you've developed quite a fondness

for a certain co-worker.

This time tomorrow, she'll be half way to India.

- [exclaims] - I guess you already knew that.

That's her decision, Peter.

It's your propensity that worries me.

Well, Ignatius was quite the ladies-man

before he started the Jesuits.

Well, you know Ignatius spent eight years as a hermit

in a cave, repenting of his sins.

I don't see you as a hermit, Peter.

I know. That's why I want to be a Jesuit.

So, I don't see any reason why you can't try again

- in the future. - How soon could I do that?

A year.

That's a long time.

We've been around for a 500 years, Peter.

We're an old order. You're a very young man.

What am I gonna do for a year?

Well, I don't think that's for me to say.

Maybe if you looked around,

maybe you'll see some possibilities.

You mean Seaside?

They're going to be very short-handed.

Your friend will be in India.

They'll need your help.

What are you gonna do, young man?

Salubrious.

What's that word mean?

["Angelyne" playing]