All language subtitles for The.Novice.2006.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

[birds chirping]

[Ciscero] Pedro!

Pedro!

Pedro!

What do you think, huh?

What do you see?

Huh, Peter?

Breast.

[speaking in Portuguese]

[Ciscero] Souls.

[dramatic music]

Peter?

Peter?

- [Gilbert] Peter?
- What?

[Gilbert] You're going to fall.

I don't think so.

What if I told you
one of those little

green lizards
was crawling on your leg?

That might change things.

It's a chameleon, right?

Actually, it's a green anole.

They're very common
in this area.

Same species as a chameleon,

different family.

Anolis Carolines...

Carolinensis.

I know animals.
That's a Latin.

Have you decided what you're
going to tell Father Tew?

That I'm not happy here. That...

I want a wife and family.

It's not complicated.
I'm not... Jesuit material.

I don't think
he's going to buy that.

Well, then I'll tell him
I'm "randy" as a goat.

I'll just tell him
this whole thing was a...

youthful indiscretion.

He thinks you're the golden boy.

And I know he thinks
you are funny.

He didn't think I was too funny
in the laundry room yesterday.

[Peter] I spilled bleach
on a pair of his black pants.

- He said, "shit."
- [laughs]

And Eduardo has agreed to take
your place in the soup kitchen?

That's right.
Eduardo, the happy,

humble Mexican.

He stays and I go.

That's where the future
of the church is anyway.

Mexico,

Africa, Alabama.
The "third world."

[laughs softly]

[whistles]

- [Peter] Is it Father Pat?
- [Gilbert] Yeah.

Every time he whistles,
I think he's going to croak.

[grunts]

[Peter] Are you saying that
because you don't have anyone

to take Eduardo's place?

No.

[Peter] Father Tew, I'm...

not going to want
to help the needy,

I'm probably going
to want to strangle them.

If you're desperate Peter,

there's the door.

May I?

Of course.

Oh, what to do?

What to do?

Go ahead. Say it.

Shit!

Feel better?

Moderately, yes.

The last of the "black robes,"
huh? Off to the new world.

The wilds of Alabama.
We few. We happy few.

Oh, happiness has nothing
to do with it.

[Father Tew] Exactly.

You've been cooped
up here for months.

The best thing in the world
for you is to get out

and work with other people.

And don't give me that bit
about being true to yourself.

If we were all true
to ourselves,

we'd still be hanging
from the trees.

Besides, I think you are going
to have a great time, you know.

Relax. Go.

You'll be back here
in six weeks tops.

And if I decided
it's not for me?

I'll help you pack.

We've got no interest in keeping
anybody here against their will.

I guess we've been
a pretty sorry class.

Seven months ago there were...

six of us and now.

Two.

But we try to be philosophical

about these things.

I'm sorry about your pants.

Peter, I want you to go.

[Tew] Work hard and ask god
to help you make this decision.

You'll get an answer.

I just don't understand

what you think
I'm going to do there.

Prosper.

- It could be worse.
- Come on.

[Peter] Oh, my feet
are killing me.

Hello.

Take it easy.

They knew we were coming.

[sighs]

What are you doing?

Taking my shoes off.
My feet are killing me.

[Peter groans]

I think there's a light
on in the back.

Okay. I'm going
to check around back.

You keep trying here.

[Peter] Happy, humble Mexican,

my ass. [grunts]

[sheep bleats]

[parrot shrieks]

[Father Benkhe] Hello!

Who's out there?

[Peter exclaims] It's Peter.
One of your novices

- from Heron Bay.
- Peter! Peter!

What are you doing out there?

- Hi. Hi. Father Benkhe.
- Hi.

Nice to meet you.
You got to be careful

with that goat.
He's a lethal weapon.

- [Benkhe] Where's your friend?
- Uh, He should be around front.

[Peter] That's where I left him.

- [Benkhe] You're Gilbert?
- Yes.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Welcome!
I'm Father Benkhe.

[exclaims] Nice to see you.
Nice to meet you.

Found your friend in back
trying to attack my goat.

How come you got inside
the building and he didn't?

The door was open.

The door was open?
The front door was open?

[stammers] So, what were you
doing sneaking around the back?

- Never mind. That your luggage?
- Yeah, that's mine.

Come on upstairs.
I'll show you to your rooms

we'll have to leave you boys
to your own devices.

I'm... in the middle
of a phone conversation

with a major contributor.

She's in the middle
of giving me a lecture

on our community members.
What's required of them

in terms of their cleanliness
and religious observances.

- [Gilbert] Community members.
- Yes. Yes.

We call the people we serve
here "community members."

Not "the poor," not "the needy"
and not "the homeless."

And I'd like you both
to please remember

that as long as
you're working here.

I'm going to have to tell
this woman as gently

as I possibly can that she does
not make the rules around here.

Most of the people we serve
are not Catholics,

and although we follow
the observances,

it's not something
we require of them.

[exclaims] I'm very grateful
for this woman's support,

but to tell you the truth,
I don't like her very much,

so I'm not really looking
forward to this telephone call.

Have you guys
had anything to eat?

- Are you hungry?
- I'm okay.

- I'm fine.
- Yeah? Are you sure?

Well, if you change your mind,
we have a walk-in cooler

downstairs, so please avail
of yourself of it

in the middle of the night,
and any time at all.

[exclaims]

Where are your shoes, son?

Oh, they're on the front porch.

Okay, Gilbert,
this'll be your room.

Peter, that's your room
over there.

[exclaims] Bathroom's over here.

Two showers, two commodes.

[exclaims]

I expect you for mass
7 a.m sharp in the chapel

tomorrow morning.
That's 7 a.m sharp.

Please, don't be late.

After that we'll have breakfast.

I'll introduce you to everybody,
and we'll go to work.

[exclaims] Now I'm going to
have to get back on the phone,

otherwise this woman's
going to excommunicate me.

Have a nice night. God bless!

- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.

[sighs]

[soft music]

Oh!

[door creaks]

[Peter] Oh, shit!

What time is it?

7:16.

[door opens]

[groans]

Did you fall down?

[exclaims]

No. I was just...
I was looking for some...

[exclaims] bread and peanut
butter for... [yawns]

a sandwich and...

milk.

Everybody has got their own job
to do and the job changes

from week to week.
Things like,

picking up the garbage.
It's things like that.

[Benkhe] But the main work
is in here.

Lunch and it goes on five days
a week, Monday to Friday.

And the person who runs
the whole thing is

- Lillie.
- Lillie?

[Benkhe] That's the dynamo
right there.

Where you cannot love the father
without also loving

- your brother.
- Oh, man. This is bullshit!

- It's dinner time.
- Pipe down during announcements,

Luther.

As I was saying...

well, good morning sunshine!

We've been wondering
when you'd wake up.

Wait a minute, hon.
Take these rolls out with you.

Wait a minute! Here, boy.

Don't look at me like that.

Father Benkhe said
not to wake you.

[exclaims]

[phone ringing]

- Do you want me to get that?
- No.

You want me to call Father Tew

and tell him
he sent me a "bum novice?"

No.

I'd hate to embarrass him.

He's an old friend of mine.

Look, you can stay
in the Jesuits or leave.

It really makes
no difference to me.

But while you are here,
I'd like you to do your work.

- Is that clear?
- Yeah.

After lunch I'd like you
to do some work

in the kitchen with Ettu,

- all right?
- Okay.

Jill. [whistles]

[Benkhe] Could you check
with Ettu, please?

There's a food list.
I need you to make a run

- into town.
- Will do, chief.

[Benkhe] Oh, and...

take the other new guy
with you, Gilbert.

- All right?
- Sure.

And tonight I'd like you
to drive into town

and see if you can find some
people to give some meal cards

- to, okay?
- Yes, sir.

[Benkhe] That's Jill Yarrut.
She's trying to get to Africa

with the Peace Corps,
and she's going to be

really missed.

You comfortable with the idea
of chopping some onions?

- Yeah.
- Good.

Were you looking for these?

[exclaims]

As a matter of fact, I wasn't.

Well, they're yours,
aren't they?

I don't see anybody else
walking around here barefoot.

Leave the boy alone, Lilee.

[Lille] You're not like
the other seminarians, are you?

I don't know.
What were they like?

Prim, proper, boring.

[Lille] But you...

what?

You've got a lot to learn,

grasshopper.

Did you just
call me grasshopper?

Who found you in the cooler?

[exclaims]

That "Joan Baez" girl.
The "granola chick."

- Jill, here's the grocery list.
- Thank you.

Thank you, honey.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

Okay. Look, you want to go
"rocks-paper-scissors"

for the reading?

- To do it or to not to do it?
- Not to do it.

I'll do it.

- Okay.
- Peter, I'm gonna need you

to run an errand
for me this afternoon.

There's a parish down the coast
that has a day care center.

And they had a fire
over the weekend

that completely destroyed
their kitchen,

so we're gonna bring
some food to the kiddies.

You'll be able to take
Jill with you.

And there's a priest there,
Father McIlhenny who's a...

[Benkhe] Son, do you own
a pair of shoes?

No. Not currently.

Well, go to the donation
room and find a pair.

You'll do the reading
this morning.

Oh, like I had anything
to do with that.

Now...

Will you be needing shoes
for six feet,

my little grasshopper, or two?

Two.

[car door closes]

These things are itching me.

- I feel like "Peter the Menace."
- [laughs] You look fine, "ewe."

You mean... [groans]

you mean, ewe like
a female sheep?

I can't believe you found
anything in there.

Clothes strewn everywhere.

Somebody really needs
to get in there,

- and straighten things out.
- Yeah.

[Irene] I don't want my child
listening to that kind of trash

from a priest!
It's terrible the way he talks

in front of those kids!
[laughs] Man like that!

A priest! God almighty!

Irene, Carl hasn't had
his lunch yet.

- Oh!
- Irene.

- My boy...
- Irene, stop!

What's terrible?

How do you know my name?

She just said it.

- Father.
- Mam, I'm not a priest.

Something's got to be done
about that man.

- [Peter] What man?
- That man right there.

What exactly did he say?

"Doo doo."

Okay, you said, "doo doo?"

- Well, shit actually.
- Okay. "Shit" then.

Well, damn it.
The kid picked up a dog turd.

He was waving it
at the other children.

Then he dropped it.
I walked in it.

Got it all over my shoes.

What the hell
was I supposed to say?

- What size shoes are those?
- And that damned Irene.

She's crazy as a...
carrying on, making a ruckus

and nobody understands
her child. What a load of crap!

But it's all right now.
I mean, they're all inside

- having lunch.
- I spent 26 years

teaching Shakespeare
in one of the poorest places

on earth.
And in all that time

I had more success
with those people

than I've had here
in the parish I grew up in.

I was put on this Earth
to work in the bush,

but no.
They yank me out of there

and put me
in this godforsaken spot.

A lovely place to retire,
says the provincial.

Lovely place, my ass!

- Where were you?
- The "Dark Continent," Africa.

- That's where Jill wants to go.
- Jill?

Who's Jill?

She's was the girl
I came in with.

You probably didn't see her.
She took them...

- around to lunch.
- With the nice, small boobs?

- And that was the right one?
- [laughs]

[Victoria] Can you remember
the last time

the old man looked so happy?

About time that old bastard
went to confession.

Oh, yeah. Don't get me started
on Africa. I could go on.

- [chuckles]
- [Peter] Oh, we've got time.

[Jill] No, we had
a little excitement

at Saint Jude's, so we're
running a little bit late.

Right, chief.

Will do.

Bye, bye.

Is he worried about us?

More about Father McIlhenny.

He sounded pleased with the way
you handled things though.

Feel better?

Oh, much.
It's five percent alcohol.

Have a seat.

Don't you think
we need to get back?

No.

Got you a present.

Why did it make you so mad
when Victoria called you Father?

You want to sit down?

I'm just wondering how someone
like you decided to be a priest.

Well, everyone has things
about them that would surprise

other people.

I know ballet.

Yeah?

Don't say it like that. [laughs]

- "Arabesque." Voila!
- [laughs]

- Surprised?
- Yeah, I'm astonished.

Your turn.

Oh, it's my turn. [exclaims]

Astonish Jill.

You know you can see
satellites from here?

No.

- Up there from here?
- Yeah. Surprised?

- Skeptical.
- Something I learned in Brazil.

Brazil?

When were you in Brazil?

After college with
the Jesuit Volunteer Corp.

If you look straight up
after the sun goes down...

That's like
the Peace Corps, right?

That's right.

If you look straight up
after the sun goes down...

they're made out
of this shiny material...

that reflects the sun's light
in the evenings...

and on slow nights we'd just
lie on the beach and watch them.

Were there lots
of slow nights in Brazil?

Yeah. It wasn't Rio.

Anyway, they fly
in a circumpolar orbit,

which means around the poles,
North to South,

or an equatorial pattern,
which is, you know,

across the equator,
East to west.

About a hundred miles up.

Five hundred eighty
two thousand feet.

I've totally lost you,
haven't I?

- No. [laughs]
- No?

- Liar.
- [chuckles]

Have you tried Tylenol?

I didn't say
a goddamned headache, Gilbert.

[sighs] I said my feet
are growing.

So, buy new shoes.

I'd grow out of a new pair

in a week.

Have Benkhe take you
to the doctor.

Just a suggestion.

- [sighs]
- She has another guy after her.

Name's Henry.

Some big shot who sits
on Seaside's Board of Directors.

The Re-enactment,
his brainchild.

Real involved here
doing a lot of pro-bono work

for the members.
Lilee says Jill likes him.

So pro-bono. So he's a lawyer?

[Gilbert] Worse.
He's an attorney.

Don't you worry, okay?
We are gonna sue those sons

of guns six ways to Sunday,
I promise you.

- Hey, Sweetie.
- Hi.

- How are you doing?
- Are you helping Miss Hannah?

- Yeah, a little bit.
- [chuckles]

- Ready for dinner?
- Yeah, I'm starving.

[Jill] All right.
Henry Olden, the gentleman

in the suit over there
is here today to talk

about our big fundraiser,

the Civil War Re-enactment
that's coming up next month.

[all clapping]

I'm sure most of you
recognize Henry.

He’s the lawyer who comes
in every two weeks

to stop our legal-aid clinic.

[Benkhe] Henry! henry!

Probably better not to point
the gun at people.

Thanks.

Anyway, if you have
any legal questions, you know,

credit card debt, housing issues

or if you're in trouble
with the law,

Henry is here to offer
free legal advice.

[burps]

Except for Luther.

[laughs]

[all clapping]

Who is that guy?

So... I give up the Peace Corps
and Seaside offers me

a fulltime position.

I could make it happen
in a heartbeat.

And Benkhe would be all over it.

Henry, tell me you
haven't spoken to Benkhe

- about this already.
- Of course, I've spoken to him

about it.
I'm on the board of directors.

That's not the point.

- What's the point?
- The point is...

the Peace Corps
is not something I want to do.

It's something I need to do.

You've applied twice
and you've been rejected

both times. You have
one more meeting next week.

Maybe, it's just not
meant to be.

It's noble to want to give back.

But you don't need to do this.

Act locally.

That's what you always say.

Well...

this is local, Jill.
Right where you grew up.

In four weeks your parents
are having a cocktail party

for the Civil War re-enactment.

Just think about it.

And tell me and Benkhe then.

Okay?

Was that you looking
in my mailbox?

Did you go to Brazil
because you wanted to

or you needed to?

What are you doing?

Hunting for shoes.
Which do you like?

[exclaims] I wanted to go,

so I went.

What about Seminary?
Was that want or need?

When I entered, it was need.

Now I'm not so sure.

- You don't know?
- That I'm not sure.

[laughs softly]

- Strike one.
- Well, that's kind of vague.

I wouldn't think a real Jesuit
would accept that.

Well, since I haven't
been ordained,

I'm not a real Jesuit.

So, I don't fall
into that category.

You could ask a real Jesuit.

Ask Benkhe.

I did.

And?

And he said, Want isn't
part of the equation.

And why is that?

He said, the goal is
to make yourself indifferent

- to what you want.
- Indifference?

Isn't that an odd goal
for a priest

who runs a soup kitchen?

Well, Benkhe says
it's more of a technical term,

which doesn't mean apathetic
like you don't care.

It just means by ignoring
distractions of the world,

you free yourself
to follow your call.

That's very good.

If he outlived the current pope,
maybe he could be the priest.

I think you're an idealist.

A disillusioned idealist.

And I think seminary life
hasn't turned out exactly

the way you planned.

And now you're sitting here...

flirting with me because...

you don't know the difference
between want and need.

[Peter] So why are you sitting
here flirting with me?

Aren't you gonna tell me
I have nice feet?

When you find a pair that fits.

Come inside. There's work to do.

Hope my feet can rise
to the occasion.

[groans softly]

You shitass mother...

♪ I could have married
A pretty little girl ♪

♪ She would have married me ♪

...He can be sweet,
but you got to know

- how to treat him.
- [exclaims]

I think I stepped near
his feedbag or something.

Amen.

♪ Dark as the deep black sea ♪

♪ He had to go ♪

♪ He had to laugh ♪

♪ He had a tie on his hand ♪

♪ I am just a house pup
And then ♪

♪ But I am a fine young man ♪

[gasps]

Oh!

No, I'm telling you
like it is, Miss Ettu.

- When "Grasshopper" got here...
- Grasshopper?

Peter. He was wearing
a size nine and a half.

Now, he's two sizes bigger.

The boy's feet are undergoing
some serious adjustments.

I've let him in the clothing
closet twice already

trying to find a pair that fits.

[exclaims]

You know what they say
about a man's feet?

Oh!

You're a bad girl
for a young lady!

- What size?
- Eleven and a half.

- Oh! [laughs]
- [laughs]

What's wrong with Peter's feet?

Feet grow like weeds.

[exclaims]

Father Benkhe. [laughs]

[Ettu and Lille laugh]

Peter is a shit.

- [parrot] Peter.
- Peter is a shit.

- Peter.
- Peter is a shit.

[Gilbert] You're a troll killer.
I bet you are.

- [Benkhe] Gilbert?
- Peter is a shit.

Why is the door open?

- Peter has some food to unload.
- [Benkhe] Yes, but you are here.

The door's got to stay closed.

Why do I have to tell
you this all the time?

We can't leave
the door open, Gilbert.

It's the only food we've got.

[Luther] Peter is a shit.

[sheep bleats]

- Peter!
- [Peter] Yeah.

- Can I see you for a minute?
- [Peter] Sure.

[Luther] Peter is a shit.
[parrot speaking]

Peter is a shit.

- Shut up! Both of you.
- [parrot] Peter shit.

[Benkhe] I don't have to tell
you that again.

You hear me, Luther?

Look at me
when I'm talking to you.

You hear what I'm telling you?

We don't want to hear that kind
of talk around here anymore.

[Peter] Okay, just unload this
and... lock up when you're done.

Peter is a shit.

- [parrot] Peter is a shit.
- An exchange student

from the big dipper.

Come on. We're gonna go
on an errand for a little while.

- Where we going?
- I'll tell you in the car.

Gilbert!

We're running an errand
for about 45 minutes.

We're gonna leave you here
all alone...

to run things.

- [Benkhe] Can you handle that?
- Absolutely.

Great.

See you in a while.

[Luther] Peter is...

well, that's one hell
of a thing.

You're feet are growing.

He gave me these. Thanks.

[sighs] They're a half size
too big as a precaution.

Peter...

those are the same shoes
my father wore...

- when he was 95 years old.
- [laughs]

- You like ice cream?
- Yeah.

Frozen yogurt?

- Yeah.
- Let's go.

[scoffs] Security!

If Peter Piper picked
a pack of pickled peppers...

how many peppers could Peter...

Piper pick?

Nice, Peter.

Very nice.

[Benkhe] Oh!

What's going on here?

Gilbert?

- What's going on?
- Well, there seems to be

a burglary, sir, uh, Father.

A burglar?

Well, they didn't even
have to break a lock.

They just walked in,
and took everything

Talk to me, Gilbert. Fast!

I thought it was locked.

You thought it was locked!

[Peter] I did that.

That was me.

Oh, you did, did you?

[Peter] Yeah, I forgot
to give him the keys,

and I didn't tell him
about the lock.

This is my fault.

[Benkhe] We're a soup kitchen,

Peter. That's all the food
we've got. Two days' worth.

These people rely on us.

[sad music]

[phone ringing]

- [Father Tew] Hello.
- [Peter] Hey, it's me.

Wow. Hello, "me."

- [Peter] Its Peter, Father Tew.
- [Father Tew] I know Peter.

How are you?

I'm better and worse,
if that's possible.

[Father Tew] It is.
But I wouldn't worry about it.

- Well, are you worried about it?
- [Father Tew] No.

The novices I typically
worry about are the ones

who never worry.

Is something bothering you?

- Well...
- Come on tell me.

I think I'm having
a mid-life crisis.

- Peter, you're only 22.
- Right. Well, I'll be 23

in a few weeks, so...

have you ever had one of those?
A mid-life crisis I mean.

[Father Tew] Either none
or many. I'm not sure which.

Do you want to leave now, Peter?
Is that what I'm hearing?

I just want everything
to workout, okay

You know? And not just for me.
I mean for everyone.

- [Father Tew] It will.
- [Peter exclaims]

You wouldn't be so sure
if you were here.

[Father Tew] Do you want me
to ask what that means?

No, no. No, not yet anyway.

[Father Tew] Well, Peter,
if it's not to be,

it's not to be.
It's better that way,

and it's better we find out now.
You have three more weeks.

Just try to enjoy yourself,
and take it easy.

[Peter] Alright.

[Father Tew] Take care, Peter.

Bye.

[laughs softly]

[Peter] Blessed be God.
Blessed be His holy name.

Blessed be Jesus Christ,
true God and true man.

Blessed be...

shit.

[snoring]

[bleats]

[sighs]

[frog croaking]

[whistles]

Hey, froggy.

[cheerful music]

[phone ringing]
Hello.

Hi, Yeah.
Thanks for calling back.

- Rice, pasta, fruits.
- Yeah, we have that.

Vegetables.

[Jill] It's true.
Vegetables are all we need.

Oh, peanut butter.

[everyone talking]

Yeah, I don't see
the problem either.

Yeah, but you're a super market.
Don't you have canned soup or...

[everyone talking]

Yeah, we really need you.

And the community needs you.

[Peter] We want you to help us,

help them.

[Ettu] People sure
are being kind.

We got enough to feed
old fat Luther for a year.

[laughs]

[Lilee] No, you can't get
some of it back

after we're done with it.

[everyone talking]

Food Plus says they'll send over
a truck this afternoon.

Great.

Sadie says they'll send over
twenty-five pounds of ham hocks.

Outstanding.

Uh, Victoria from Saint Jude
called just now.

You made quite
an impression on her.

She heard about our problems,
they've organized their forces,

and they got food for us.

I'd like you to drive down there
with me this afternoon.

can we do it later?
We have to stop

out at this farm.
Pick up some vegetables.

Who'd you talk to, "Ewe?"

I think it was
that fat man over there.

How'd you know he was fat?

Well, he sounded fat
on the phone.

Don't be nasty.

[Gilbert] She calls you ewe?

Yeah, e-w-e.

It's a nickname.

- She thinks you're a sheep?
- It's a nickname, Gilbert.

- Yeah.
- It's a nickname.

[bleats]

Sure. Let me ask.

Peter, can I talk
to you for a second?

Yeah.

He wants to know
if you wouldn't mind speaking

to the workers?

If I wouldn't mind
speaking to them?

Yeah. When they heard
you were a seminarian,

they really perked up.

What am I gonna say to them?

Something inspirational?

Did you happen to notice
they're Mexican?

Well, you lived in Brazil.
You speak Spanish.

Well yeah, except they speak
Portuguese in Brazil.

Well, they're kind
of the same, right?

[laughs] No. It's a totally
different language.

[Peter] Hi. Everyone just gather
around me for a minute.

Come on in.

[romantic music]

[no audio]

- Hi. You Peter?
- Gilbert.

Yeah, I was supposed
to deliver this stuff

to the Seaside Mission.
Is that you?

Sure. We can use it.

All right.
Well, here's the deal.

I don't lift a finger.
You all want it,

you all unload it, you got it?
I ain't touching a thing

Alright.

I'm gonna go step in here
and take a leak.

[Ettu exclaims]

[Benkhe] Where is everybody?

I don't know.

Go to the chapel.
Look for the food.

I'll see
if I can find McIlhenny.

Alright.

Father McIlhenny?

The food's in the closet
by the door.

[Father McIlhenny] Care for
a cigarette?

[exclaims] No, thanks.
I don't smoke.

[Mcllhenny] I don't
either, actually.

But it's quite pleasant

Cool, minty.

Salubrious even.

Salubrious?

Where is everyone?
All the kids and teachers?

I sent them home.
They were making too much noise.

Uh, Father Benkhe is here.

Does he still have that little
petting zoo of his?

Yeah. The parrot and stuff?

- Yeah.
- That's nice.

I like that.

I like animals.

Tell him I won't see him.

I'm not sure he'll like that.

Then tell him
I said to piss off.

Thank you for the food.

Happy I could help.

- [Mcllhenny] Oh, and Peter?
- Yes?

There's an envelope
in with the food.

A gift from me to you.

[Mcllhenny] Oh, and Peter?

Yeah.

You're gonna make a fine priest.

Did you see anybody?
Did you find McIlhenny?

No, but I got the food.

- It's in the van.
- Great. Great.

[sighs] Well...

I'll call him later. Let's go.

You've never had
a lobster thermidor?

It's like eating
a big insect for me.

[laughs] You're crazy.

Lobster thermidor is one of
the world's great delicacies.

Where? All over the world?

[Benkhe] I would say so, yeah.

[crowd shouting indistinctly]

[Ettu] Gilbert, you got
to stop them!

What am I supposed to do?

[Peter] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Sorry.

Hold on, sir. Wait, wait, wait!

Excuse me!

Come on! Come on guys!

[siren wails]

[overlapping chatter]

[Peter] God dammit!

Quiet!

Okay. Everyone just calm down
a second, alright. Just...

look, everyone that has
something in their hands,

just put it down.
You won't get in trouble.

We'll tell the cops to go away.
No one's gonna get arrested,

all right?

[Put that down, sir. Please.
Mam, give me that back to me.

Sir! How about yourself?

Luther! Get your ass over here
with those peaches!

[Peter] Thank you.

Don't even think about it,
Luther. [shouts]

[knock on window]

[chuckles]

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You can't come in.
- I brought you a present.

Benkhe would freak
if he knew you were up here.

I'm rebellious.

- I won't stay long.
- Oh, I don't care.

How's the foot?

It's okay.

You know lots of people
have one leg that's longer

- than the other...
- Okay, stop I don't want

to hear any more about my feet.

Okay.

Well, don't you want
to see what it is?

Not foot powder or nothing?

Is it a beer?

[laughs] Sorry,

[exclaims]

I assume
the second one is yours?

- [exclaims]
- Okay

I was... thinking
maybe you should take a break.

You know, just...

get out for a while.

Did you know I was planning
to leave the seminary?

I think so.

What kind of break
did you have in mind?

A little trip.

You and me?

Not exactly

Hey, did guys know that some
of the very first Jesuits

in the New World
came to this area...

converting Indians.

[Jill] Really?

[alligator growls]
What was that?

That's alligators.

Alligators?

Yeah. They're bull alligators.

Bull alligator?

Yeah. They're staking
out their territory.

Territory? For what?

Mating season, Gilbert.

Need some help?

- I can manage. Thanks.
- Where is Lilee?

Hunting fire wood.

You know I have matches.

- No, thank you.
- Okay.

Okay. Come and join us,
when you get it going.

Be careful.

What?

Yesterday I heard her
tell Father Benkhe

that it might not be
such a bad thing

if she got turned down
by the Peace Corps.

- So?
- So, she's come a long way

for you. She's not
going to back down now.

You hunting satellites?

Just looking.

God, it's nice out here.

Yeah.

What was brazil like?

[soft melodic music]

I was in a small fishing village

in the North.

And the whole town
smelled like fish.

[laughs softly]

I mean the people,
the furniture...

and especially the dogs who'd...

lay around the alter
during communion.

Just unimaginable poverty.

Made you happy?

[Peter] Oh, your hands are cold.

[Jill chuckles]

I guess all the blood's
in my uterus.

- [Peter] What?
- [Jill chuckles]

They say when a woman gets cold,

all the blood
goes to her uterus.

Okay. Well, that was...

some totally
necessary information.

[laughs]

[Jill] Sorry.

[Gilbert exclaims] I did it!

[laughs] I did it!
I told you I'll do it.

Did you do that
with those two sticks?

[Gilbert] I almost lit
my eyebrow on fire.

I can't believe
he got that thing lit.

I put lighter fluid
on the wood when he went to pee.

- Did you?
- [chuckles]

- [Gilbert] I did it!
- Don't tell anyone.

- What? And shatter his heart?
- [giggles]

[Gilbert] That is a good,
clean game of Bingo, sir.

You're almost there.

I'm gonna drain.

Its G56, not 46.

You've had enough.

[Gilbert] Stop cheating,

alright.

Okay. Well, I think we're
reaching the end of this,

and I know we have
had a couple false starts,

though I'm not pointing
any fingers.

B7?

B7?

[Peter] Hannah? Not again!

Congratulations, Hannah!
[all clapping]

Oh man!

- Look. You got some prizes.
- Congratulations, Hannah.

Do you need a ride
home tonight, Hannah?

Gilbert, you want to?

- Hi.
- Hi.

How long does it take
to get Hannah home?

- Uh, 15 minutes there and back.
- Oh, yeah?

- Are you nervous?
- No.

Wait. Not here, ewe.

- Well, this is kind of...
- [laughs] Wait.

- Gilbert will come in that way.
- Okay.

No, I'm serious.

[switch clicks]

- That's Henry.
- What's he doing here?

Well, come on.
Let's go upstairs.

It's a little early for that.

Well, where do you think
we could...

[door opens]
Shit!

[Peter laughs]

[whistles]

Are you looking
for the two ewes?

"The two Ewes?"

Yeah. Uh, Jill Ewe.

Peter Ewe, as in sheep. E-W-E-S.

That's they're little nickname.

Gilbert?

What are you talking about?

- [exclaims]
- What?

Something's sticking me.
Something's in your pocket.

[laughs]

- What is that?
- It's, uh, nothing.

- [Jill] I'll get it.
- No. I got it. I got it.

- [laughs]
- No, no, no, no, no, no.

[shushes]
[door creaks]

[door closes]

Is it Gilbert?

[shushes]

Who is it?
[footsteps approaching]

[Jill] Gilbert?

[door opens and shuts]

[sighs] That was my boss.

- Novice master? [laughs]
- Yeah.

[exclaims]

What?

I don't understand.

You can't tell me or you won't?

I'm sorry, ewe. I...

God damn you, Peter.

- Wait, Jill.
- God damn it. I need to go.

- [Peter] Wait a minute. Hold on.
- No.

It's late.

[sad music]

[laughing]

[Benkhe] Work it out.

[Tew] You know
how it's gonna go?

You know how it's gonna go?

[laughs]

Father Benkhe?

"N.J.M?"

Not Jesuit Material?

[sighs]

Not Jesuit Material?

[man] I'm not saying that you're
not cut out for it, Miss Yarrut.

I'm just saying
that the current need

is for applicants
with advanced degrees.

You know. Useful, hands-on
things like engineering

and medicine?

There just aren't a lot of jobs
for teachers right now.

I'm sorry, but I don't want you
to get discouraged.

Something may turn up, okay?

Thanks for your time.

Haven't seen Jill
around in a couple days.

Is she sick?

I don't know.

Should have asked the man
himself. He was just here.

- Who was just here?
Henry.

Henry?

I didn't see him come in.

That's cause he went
in round back.

Wait a minute.
Henry has a key to the back?

He's on the board
of directors, Peter.

The man can do
whatever he wants.

[sheep bleats]
[Peter] Whoa!

[Peter groans]

- Are you alright?
- Yeah.

[Ettu] Isn't that nice of Henry
to donate that little darling

for Easter dinner? [exclaims]

Cute, but she'll cook up nice.

[exclaims]

You know, that Henry
is a nice boy.

Oh, that's bullshit.
He's just doing it

for some booty.

Luther! Henry's just trying
to cheer her up.

- Cheer who up?
- Jill.

After her bad news.

- What's her bad news?
- Peace Corps called.

Turned her down again?

[Ettu] Turned her down again.
Poor girl. She was all upset.

[exclaims]

What the hell's
all this weeds Henry left here?

That's rosemary, Luther.

It's for the lamb. It's an herb.

- You eat it.
- [Ettu laughs]

Smell like them air fresheners
you put in your toilet

after you done
done your business.

- [chuckles]
- Get out!

Get the hell out of my kitchen!

Come on, goat.

Where does Jill live?

[Peter] You don't know?

Lilee, where's Jill live?

I don't know
what the god damn secret is.

Shit!

[laughs] It's so loud.

They're just blanks, sweetheart.

I heard that about you.

Did you bring the hottie
with the small boobs?

No.

This is well.
I got terrific gas today.

[Mcllhenny] Come here. Come on.

Come on.
[crow cawing]

[laughs]

Never seen a bird like that.

It's a crow.
An African Pied Crow.

An African Pied Crow?

Yeah. "Corvus Albus." Latin.

I heard about your little
triumph last week.

I thought yelling "God damn"
at the assembled multitude

was a particularly nice touch.

Oh, you're a shrewd
little bastard. [chuckles]

So how did Benkhe react
to one of his novices cursing

at his beloved rabble?

Well, I guess he was pleased.

Well, he's another
shrewd bastard.

He's very indulgent
of you, you know.

Well, what are they gonna do?

Their little world is being
eaten up by a bigger world.

You mean our little world.

The day I left Zimbabwe,

an elephant broke
into my vegetable garden.

Imagine that.

Waking up every morning
in a place where wild elephants

come traipsing
through your backyard.

What did you do?

To the elephant?
Nothing. [laughs]

Well, I said, "Good morning."

Then the son of a bitch
takes one look at me,

tramples my wild flowers,

eats my corn
and takes a dump on my zucchini.

- [chuckles]
- And that's it?

Yeah. Well, I reckon he marched
his merry ass on home.

I don't know.

Is that what you wanted
to say to me?

Yeah.

Oh, Peter.

Yeah.

She seen you in your clerics?

[Peter] No.

Good.

It gets them every time.

I've wanted a woman many,
many times in my life,

but in the 37 years
I've been a priest,

I've never wanted a wife.

Did you do much dating before
you went into the seminary?

Yeah, I had a couple...

girlfriends.

Well, I did a lot better
than that in my early years.

But then I began to see
that the only thing

on the face of the Earth
that I could control

was myself and my passions,

which was... the beginning
of my commitment

to this way of life.

I had control.
I gained freedom finally.

I don't the feeling
that passion control

is something you're particularly
interested in, Peter.

I don't know.

You don't know.

Well, I don't like to keep
anything from you, Peter.

so I want you to know
that it was my recommendation

to Father Tew that you not
continue as a novice.

[Benkhe] You still have
some fields to plow,

some oats to sew.

Is that pretty accurate?

Does that sum up
the way you feel?

Does that make you happy?

What's going to happen
to Father McIlhenny?

Oh, parishioners will keep
complaining about him

till the Bishop
forces him to retire.

Then where does he go?

Our "elephant graveyard."
Xavier house, New Orleans,

where they send
all of us old codgers.

He's a good priest.

- He misses Africa.
- Yeah. [laughs]

It's amazing.

Chopped up by a machete
a couple of times,

and had malaria six times,
and he still wants to go back.

[exclaims]

What does the word
salubrious mean?

- Salubrious?
- Yeah.

Salubrious means...
that which promotes good health

and wellbeing.

[Benkhe] Well...

I'm gonna hit the hay.

It's happiness.

Happiness indeed.

Goodnight, Captain.

Good night.

[swats fly]

[whistles]

Come and get it.

Yeah.

I gotta go down the coast,
and hear some confessions

at a convent.
Gilbert's coming with me.

Do you want to tag along?

Oh, I don't think so.

I'm buying lunch.
Best oysters on the coast.

Well, I just kind of want to...

- rest today.
- Okay.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

[sighs]

Peace be with you.

Son of a bitch!

[gloomy music]

[sheep bleating]

[parrot] Peter is a shit.

[knock on door]

- Hi.
- Hi.

I've been looking
all over for you.

I thought you disappeared.

Well, I'm sorry
about the Peace Corps.

Did you come
to save Henry's sheep?

Actually, I came
to take you away.

You came to take me away?

To save you...
from embarrassment [laughs]

at the re-enactors
cocktail party tomorrow night

- at my parents' house.
- Oh.

[Jill] It's a fancy party,

and I was thinking
maybe we could get you

some new shoes,

and just get out for a while.

I have to listen to confessions
for about an hour.

And the nuns are a little bit
squirrelly about visitors.

So if you would be kind enough
to respect the private areas.

Think you can do that?

[Peter] Well, they seem
kind of... fancy.

[Jill] They're not fancy,
just stylish.

I don't know
about the color though.

Yeah. Me neither.
Do you have them in brown?

Uh, no, sir.
But black is your color.

What do you think, Ewe?

Well, they're all right.

They look good in fact, but...

just get them. They're you.

They're imported calfskin.

You hungry, lad?

- Starved.
- Let's go.

[Jill laughs]

You want to go first?

Whoa! Father Pat?

Forgive me, son.

Blessed be God.
Blessed be his holy name.

Blessed be Jesus Christ,
true God and true man.

Blessed be his sacred heart.

[Peter] Blessed be
the name of Jesus.

Blessed be Jesus,
the most noble sacrifice.

So...

you knew the priest
in the restaurant?

Yeah, from seminary.

What was he doing
in New Orleans?

He's retiring.

It's okay, Peter.

If that's what you want
then I...

[Peter] I'm ready to leave.

I'm sure Father Benkhe
would... agree with that.

What are you gonna do?

I could work here.

At Seaside?

Yeah.

- Sure.
- [chuckles]

You could do that?

Yeah, if I leave the seminary.

[Benkhe] For nearly 300 years,
there's been a Jesuit presence

here along the Gulf Coast.

And for 26 of those years,
the Seaside Rescue Mission

has been ministering
to the needs of the lonely,

to the dispossessed,
the sick and the hungry,

to the needs
of the people in our community.

And you, our faithful friends
and benefactors,

have always been there
and you're here again tonight.

I have to admit,
when Henry first approached me

about selling tickets
for a Civil War Re-Enactment,

I... was a little bit dubious.

But after getting a look at him
in in full regalia,

I changed my mind. I know it's
going to be a great success.

[all clapping]
Thank you, Henry,

for all your efforts.

All right. Now I'd like
to introduce you to

two very,
very special young men.

Peter Pekorius and Gilbert Benny
are Jesuit novices from seminary

who've been assigned
to work for us.

[voice trailing off]
[loving music]

[all clapping]

So I ask you to please
keep these young men

and their vocation
in your prayers.

And finally, I would just
simply like to thank you.

Thank you. Thank you
from the bottom of my heart

for your devotion,

for your extraordinary
contributions and your love.

God bless you all.
[all clapping]

[background chatter]

Oh!

Hang a Jesuit and you'll
make off with the rope.

It's an old Spanish saying.

Guess they didn't trust
the Jesuits too much either.

[Henry] You were all over her
like a hobo on a ham sandwich.

But why should I care.

In a couple days, you're going
to be out of here, right?

[Peter] I know...

you left
the storage shed unlocked.

So what is it like to think
that you're called

to be a priest?

[Henry] Is it just... one day
you get a wracking, sickling

in your bones?

Or is it more like a...
you know, a slow process?

Lonely nights spent wandering
the streets, rosary in hand,

deep in prayerful meditation?

No, no. I haven't had a clue.

[muted chattering]

[grunts]

[loud thud]

Did you break something?

I just dropped all the missals'.

- [Gilbert] Give me a hand?
- Yeah, sure.

When we get back to Heron Bay
I'm gonna tell Father Tew

I'm leaving.

- Don't act surprised.
- [laughs]

How about you?

I don't know.

Well, I for one believe that you
never intended on leaving.

I think what you really wanted
was a reason to stay,

and Eduardo
gave you the opportunity.

Gentlemen, a couple of things.

[exclaims] First of all,
I would like to express

my gratitude for your fine work
for the past six weeks,

and secondly I'd like to remind
you that the boat to the fort

leaves at 9 a.m tomorrow.

so please be dressed and ready
at 7 a.m sharp. Can you handle

- that, Peter?
- Oh, yeah.

[Benkhe] Very good.

[Jill's mom] Jill. Telephone.

Hi.

Guess who called.

The Peace Corps.

I'm going to India.

You're going to India?

Father Benkhe told me
at the party he knew someone

in Washington who could help.

They called tonight.

And you leave soon?

Wow! [laughs]

That's great.

What about...

Henry and the re-enactment?
Are you gonna be here for that?

[exclaims]

What time is it?

It's late.

Your hands are cold.

It's chilly outside.

What?

I was just...

remembering when
you said about...

when a woman gets cold,
where her blood goes.

[Peter] How long
will you be gone?

A year.

- Maybe two.
- You're nervous?

- No.
- Excited?

I think so.

[speaking in Latin]

[laughs]

Did you know Indian elephants

have smaller ears
than African elephants?

- Did you care?
- Oh, yeah.

[chuckles]

Are you gonna keep the shoes?

Yeah, I hope so.

Nervous?

I'm salubrious.

- Salubrious.
- Salubrious.

[re-enactment General] Ready!

[men running]

He decided he didn't like it,
and he was just totally...

[woman] Excuse me, Father.
You're on our ice chest.

Damnation, woman.

I wouldn't piss
on your ice chest.

Mommy, that man said a bad word.

Father McIlhenny.

Oh! [laughs]

I think I am a little
out of my element here.

[sheep bleats]
Oh, look.

A lamb.

What the hell are you doing
out here, you little bastard?

Father, it's Jill.
Nice to see you again.

[distant firing]
[Peter] What do you think?

You think the children
at Saint Jude's would like

a little petting zoo?

- Oh, I do! Yes! Oh, yes!
- Okay.

- We'll walk you to your car.
- I...

took the bus.

Well, I'm headed back to town,
Father. I could...

give you a ride if you like.
My jeep's right over there.

- That would be nice. May I?
- Yeah.

- I have to get back.
- Yeah.

- To pack.
- Yeah, I figured.

[whistles]

[Peter] Father Benkhe.

Shit!

I'll take it from here, Fred.

Gilbert, you'll wait for me
in the car?

Luther. Come on.

What a pleasant surprise.

I know. I thought you weren't
coming till tomorrow.

Well, Father Benkhe
was a little concerned.

He thought you'd gone AWOL.

I was actually
hoping to see you.

- Here I am.
- Because...

I was hoping
to come back with you.

- Come back with me?
- [Peter] Yeah.

To continue as a novice.
I mean, if that's not a problem.

Well, I think
it would be a problem.

[Tew] As a matter of fact,
I don't think it would be

possible at all.
And you understand, Peter,

that's just because you've done
a wonderful, horrible job.

Benkhe tells me you're
quite a prodigy

at gathering food,
and ministering to people.

And he also tells me you've
developed quite a fondness

for a certain co-worker.

This time tomorrow,
she'll be half way to India.

- [exclaims]
- I guess you already knew that.

That's her decision, Peter.

It's your propensity
that worries me.

Well, Ignatius was quite
the ladies-man

before he started the Jesuits.

Well, you know Ignatius
spent eight years as a hermit

in a cave,
repenting of his sins.

I don't see you
as a hermit, Peter.

I know. That's why I want
to be a Jesuit.

So, I don't see any reason
why you can't try again

- in the future.
- How soon could I do that?

A year.

That's a long time.

We've been around
for a 500 years, Peter.

We're an old order.
You're a very young man.

What am I gonna do for a year?

Well, I don't think
that's for me to say.

Maybe if you looked around,

maybe you'll see
some possibilities.

You mean Seaside?

They're going to be
very short-handed.

Your friend will be in India.

They'll need your help.

What are you gonna do,
young man?

Salubrious.

What's that word mean?

["Angelyne" playing]