All language subtitles for The Neighborhood 3x09 - Welcome to the Shakedown (English)

Hey, guys. Come on in.
Ooh, you brought champagne.

That's right.
Let's get this party started!

Ooh-hoo. I love opening champagne.

Now, everybody watch out.

I don't want anybody
to lose an eye.

Calvin, why's the bottle
half-empty?

Okay, I started celebrating early.

But who can blame me...
I bought another house,

and more importantly,

Malcolm is moving out of mine.

Well, Malcolm and Marty
must be pretty excited

about the big move to...
right next door.

Hey, next door or on
the other side of the world...

Out of my house
is out of my house.

Cheers!

Yeah, they already
started moving stuff in

and fixing the place up.

I sent you a few
pictures of a couch

I was thinking about getting them.

Oh, I didn't see those.
Let me check.

It better not be
more expensive than ours.

Otherwise, we're switching.

That's weird. I could have sworn
my phone was in here.

I'm sure
it's around here somewhere.

You know, we'll help you look.

Calvin.

What?

I can pretend to look from here.

I know I had it
when I went shopping today.

That's when Dave texted me: "911.

We're out of chocolate milk."

Oh, uh, by the way,
we're out again.

I had a tough day at work
and went on a bit of a bender.

You know what?
I'll just call your phone.

- I don't hear any...
- Shh.

Really, Tina?

I get up to fake help,
and you shush me?

I don't hear it anywhere.

You know, maybe we
should just... Wait.

Hello?

Ooh, s-somebody answered.

Oh, thank goodness.

Now I can sit back down.

He says that he has your phone.

Oh! Well, that's a relief.

Uh, yeah, I see.
He says he found it

in the grocery store parking lot.

Oh, that's great.

And he says he wants...

- $300 to get it back?
- What?!

Unbelievable.

Wow.

Now celebrating seems
really inappropriate.

Guess I'll just do us all a favor

and kill the champagne.

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -

Can you believe this?

$300 to get my own phone back?

I know. I could
really go for a stiff glass

of chocolate milk right now.

What? It builds strong bones
and tickles my sweet tooth.

Step off.

I mean, shaking someone down

for a phone...
What kind of person does that?

The kind of person that needs
to get his ass whupped.

Exactly.

Cool. Then you and me,

we're gonna go down there
and get Gemma's phone back.

Gonna roll up on that fool
and let him know who's who,

what's what, and that's that.

Great.
When-when should we do this?

Wait. Are you crazy?

You're not gonna go pick a fight

in some dark parking
lot with a stranger.

And you, either, Calvin.

If he's willing to do
something like this,

who knows how dangerous
he might be?

Maybe he needs to worry
about how dangerous I am.

But this is Dave's fight,
not mine.

No one is fighting anyone.

All my stuff is backed up
to the cloud.

We'll just have to spend
the money to get a new phone.

- Okay, but, Gemma...
- Dave.

Promise me you're gonna drop this.

Okay.

Fine. I promise.

But I am texting him

a bunch of poop emojis
to let him know

that this is not cool!

Hey, Malcolm. Hey, li'l bro.

Oh, look at us,
moving in together.

The Butler brothers ride again!

I told you,

we are not putting that
on the welcome mat.

Fine. I'll just put it
on the bath towels instead.

Hey, man,
I really like this color.

Well, thank you.

You know, if you want,
there's enough paint

to do your bedroom, too.

Uh, what do you mean, my bedroom?

We never agreed
you get the bigger one.

Oh, we didn't have to.

God decided that
when I was born first.

No, no, you're not playing
the "older brother" card again.

Okay. Which card
do you want me to play, Marty?

The "cooler" card,
the "stronger" card, or...

"I will actually have ladies
up in this room" card?

Hey, man, I'm gonna have
ladies up in here, too.

Your Wonder Woman
action figures don't count.

No, I'm serious, Malcolm.

I gave up my own apartment
to live with you.

I'm taking this room.

I don't think so.

Well, I do. I'm not the little kid

you used to push around
in Mom and Dad's house.

Now, starting right now
I'm putting my foot down

and my box... Aah!

Damn it!

I should have
put my box down first.

Yeah? You want to steal
my wife's phone?

Then eats some shoe, dirtbag!

Whoa, whoa. Dave.

If you don't like recycling,
just don't do it.

I'm not recycling.

I'm just getting out
my frustration

over this whole phone thing.

You want 300 bucks?

Yeah? How about
a size nine narrow instead?!

All right, now, Dave,

stomping cans isn't
gonna make you feel any better.

Besides, you're gonna hurt
your tiny little lady foot.

I just hate the fact that this guy

is holding Gemma's phone hostage.

And he's gonna get away with it.

Calvin, it ju...
it's just so wrong.

Look, he doesn't
have to get away with it.

We could still find that guy
and get the phone back.

Yeah, I know, but I promised
Gemma that I wouldn't.

I know. She doesn't want you to do

anything dangerous or stupid.

But we're men...
That's what we're good at.

- Yeah. You're right.
- Yeah.

I can't let this
fester inside of me.

You know, we got to go confront
this guy and teach him

what happens when you try
to take advantage of people.

Exactly. Come on, man,
let's go do what it do

and get Gemma's phone back.

Pick up another carton
of chocolate milk.

It was a rough night!

Malcolm! What the hell?

Why is all your stuff in here?

And where's my box, man?

Oh, yeah. What did I do
with your tiny-ass box?

That's right,

it's in your tiny-ass bedroom.

Okay, this isn't over, Malcolm.

I don't know, Martin,

it feels pretty over.

I'm warning you, man, I'm not
gonna take this lying down.

Hey, good for you.

But I am.

Okay...

this is the spot where
the guy said to meet.

So, you know what
you're supposed to do, right?

Yes. First I make
contact with the perp.

Then I get him to
flash the product.

And last but not least
I signal for the bust

before the score goes down.

Have you been watching Kindergarten Cop

with Grover again?

Second-best Schwarzenegger movie
after Jingle All the Way.

Look, I?m gonna
hide around this corner.

When I see you go for your wallet,

that's when I'm gonna run out.

I'm gonna scare the hell
out the guy,

You grab the phone.

Got it. It is go time

on Operation Wrong Number.

Well...

Oh, come on, Calvin, you're
taking all the fun out of this.

All right.

Hey. Are you Dave?

Lot of Daves in this world.

Might be one of 'em.

Come on, man, I
don't have all day.

I got to ref a soccer
game in 20 minutes.

Oh, that's
a pretty ironic thing to do

for someone
who's running afoul of the law.

Look, man, you want the
phone back, or what?

Okay, all right,
all right, all right.

That's all I need to see.

Now I'm going to reach
into my pocket

and grab my wallet!

What's up, homie?

You trying to hustle my boy
out of his phone?

'Cause you about to
get dropped like a call.

Who-Who's this guy? You said
you were coming alone.

Yeah, I lied. What are you
gonna do about it, ref,

give me a red card?

You know what, you're lucky

he don't try to crush you
like a can of grape soda!

Why grape?

'Cause Black people
like grape soda, that's why!

Oh, my God. M-My chest.

Yeah, forget about your chest.

It's your ass
you need to worry about.

I-I can't feel my arm.

Uh, uh, Calvin, I think
he's having a heart attack.

Oh, please. This
guy's a con artist.

I'll bet you a hundred
bucks he's faking it.

For the record,
we never shook on it.

This is terrible.

I can't believe we gave
the guy a heart attack.

I know.
I think I scared him too much.

I rolled up on him at a five,

but I forget that my five

is like other people's 12.

Uh, hey, sorry,

is he gonna be okay?

And don't be afraid
to use medical terminology.

My aunt is a chiropractor.

Well, we got him stabilized.

That means he's stable.

I'm not an idiot, Dave.

My uncle's an orthodontist.

Okay, so what's next?

We're gonna
take him to the hospital.

Uh, unless your uncle wants
to check him for an overbite.

Well, it looks like
they have this under control.

Let's go.

What do you mean, let's go?

We gave this guy a heart attack.

We need to go to the hospital
and make sure he's okay.

Are you serious?

He's a total stranger
that tried to rip you off.

Plus, you gave him
mouth-to-mouth for ten minutes.

Ten more seconds, and he
would have owed you dinner.

Come on, Calvin, if we don't go,

it makes us just as bad as he is.

Plus...

I didn't get Gemma's phone back.

Damn it.

All right, let's go.

But if ever I collapse
like that around you,

just let me die.

Marty.

What the hell did you do?

Oh. Well, I figured since you
wouldn't move your stuff out,

I had to move my stuff in.

Like I said, I'm pushing back.

Well, if you don't get your
stuff out of my room,

the only pushing is gonna be
my foot up your ass.

Look, I told you, Malcolm,

we're not at Mom and Dad's
anymore.

But if you touch me, I'm telling.

Marty, we are not
sharing a room, man!

Okay, then feel free to move
to the other one.

Because I'm not going anywhere.

Well, neither am I.

Aah!

What did you do to my bed?

Well, man, I thought I'd give
you a hand moving out, so...

I started with your bolts.

I know it was expensive,
but this new phone is amazing.

I wish I'd lost my old one
a long time ago.

Yeah, girl,
I accidentally lose mine

every time the new model
comes out.

Dave?

Dave, are you home?

Huh. I wonder where he is.

Well, maybe he went for a run.

You want to check and see
if his skimpy

little short shorts
are still here?

It wouldn't matter if they were.

He's going through
a spandex phase.

Wow, spandex?

He's got cojones.

And apparently
he's not afraid to show 'em.

Okay, I'm gonna
break this bad boy in

and give Dave a call.

Wow, look how sleek that thing is.

Time for me to accidentally
drop you down a sewer grate.

Ooh, Calvin.

There he is.

Sleeping like a baby.

Yeah, a phone-snatching baby
that you made out with.

Okay, look, I'll stand guard.
You get the phone.

But do it quietly
so he doesn't wake up.

Don't worry, I'm gonna
be as quiet as a mouse.

Starting now.

- Did you find it?
- Nope.

No phone, no pants, no underwear.

Hey, check that plastic bag
on the counter.

- Nurse is coming.
- What?

Nur-Nurse is coming,
nurse is coming.

Nurse is coming. Nurse is here.

I'm sorry, I didn't know
anyone was in here.

Oh, it's no problem.
We were just visiting.

Oh, that's nice, but I'm afraid

only immediate family members
are allowed in the rooms.

Oh, well that shouldn't
be a problem

because, you know, we are his...

brothers.

The three of you are brothers?

Yeah, that's right.

Don't question
our mama's business.

Well, since you're here,
you should try talking to him.

Yeah, but he's asleep.

I know, but when someone
goes through a trauma like this,

hearing the voices and feeling
the touch of loved ones

can really speed up recovery.

Here, let me show you.

Just...

See?

Doesn't that feel nice?

Words can't describe.

Okay, now you take the other one.

Okay. Uh, sure. I guess
it's the least we could do

for our... our dear brother...

Stan.

Now go ahead and talk to him.

Maybe share a nice memory

of the three of you
doing something together

when you were kids.

Okay, uh, well...

Let's see...

Gosh, there's just
so many to choose from.

It's gonna be tough, um...

Calvin, any suggestions?

Nope. All you.

Okay.

Uh...

Well, I guess, uh...

There was that one summer
that we spent

out in the country with Grandma.

Remember how we would...

go down to the fishing hole
all day

and catch fireflies all night

while Granny sat
in a rocking chair

out on the porch
of her little house...

on the prairie.

I don't get it.
I've called Dave five times,

and it keeps going to voice mail.

You know, maybe can track him
with Find My Friends.

I do it with Calvin all the time.

And that doesn't bother him?

Not at all.

Well, mostly because
he doesn't know I do it.

Okay, I see Grover's
at his sleepover.

And Dave is at...

The hospital?

What?

Wait a minute.

Calvin is there, too.

Do you think they got
into a car accident?

- Oh, my God, we have to go.
- Oh, my God.

Wait. You don't think
they went to confront the guy

who took my phone, do you?

They would have to be
absolute idiots to do that,

so yes.

- Hey, roomie.
- Hmm?

You don't mind if I do a...

quick little workout
before bed, do you?

Oh, go for it, man.

I already went for a run.

It was a grocery run,

but I used a hand basket
instead of a cart.

One.

While you do that,

I'll do my nightly check-in
on one of our JPL projects

before I hit the sack.

Yeah, we've been
sending out signals,

looking for intelligent life
in the universe.

Nothing's come back in 60 years,

but you never know
if tonight's the night.

No problem.

I'll barely be able to hear that

over the sound
of my harmonica practice.

That's great.

Music always helps me sleep.

But just to warn you,
I've started sleepwalking.

- Big deal.
- In the nude.

And as I carried you from
that burning building...

smoke filling my lungs, I...

I swore to myself that I would
never leave your side.

It's memories like that
that remind you

just how easy it is
to take family for granted.

Exactly.

In fact, I'm gonna
go call my sister right now.

If I forgave my husband,
I can forgive her, too.

Uch!

Okay, I know
none of that was real,

but, Calvin,

you are the best big brother
that Stan or I could ever have.

Would you just
get the damn phone, Dave?

- Got it.
- Good. Let's get out of here

before that nurse comes back
and catches us...

Or our wives do.

What are you guys doing here?
Are you okay?

Yeah, no, we're-we're fine.

Then what is going on?

And who is this guy?

This is the guy
who stole Gemma's phone.

And both of yours' brother-in-law.

That's the guy who had my phone?

What did you do to him?

Look, I accidentally
gave him a heart attack.

Sometimes I forget
how strong my roll-up game is.

Baby, what did you
give him, like, a seven?

No, babe. A five.

Damn.

Dave, I can't believe
you did this.

You promised me that you wouldn't.

I know, but it was
driving me crazy.

Just couldn't stand

that he was taking
advantage of us like that.

So what if he was
taking advantage of us?

That could have been you
in that hospital bed right now.

I know, Gemma, but I'm fine.

But you might not have been.

Did you even think about how
that would affect Grover and me?

And all over a stupid cell phone?

Okay, all right.

Look, this is not
all Dave's fault.

I saw how upset he was,
and I pushed him to do it.

Yeah, that feels right.

No, Calvin. Look, Gemma's right.

I just got

so caught up in the fact
that what he did was wrong,

I ended up doing
something even worse.

I'm so sorry.

I'm just glad you're okay.

All right, come on,
let's get out of here.

I need to go wash my hand

or possibly cut it off.

What's going on? Where am I?

Oh, my. Uh, uh,

Stan, you...
you're in the hospital.

You had a minor heart attack,
but you're gonna be okay.

Good. Wait, I remember you.

Y-You're the guy
whose phone I had.

And-and... and you're the guy

who scared the hell out of me.

Oh, oh, but don't
forget, I'm also the one

that saved you from that fire.

I know why you're here...
To-to finish the job. Help!

- Okay, everyone, time to go.
- Somebody, help!

You know what? And shame on you
for stealing my wife's phone.

And you wonder why
I was Mom's favorite.

Oh, come here!

Now, don't ask for
something you can't handle.

Mmm, mmm.
You know I can handle it.

Hey, Marty? Marty, wake up.

What?

- A tiger!
- Do you hear that?

All right.

Yeah. Sounds like Mom and Dad.

Yeah. Yeah.

- So excited?
- Mm-hmm. Don't think I won't...

Oh, this-this bedroom is
just down from their window.

Oh, no. No, that's good,
that's good.

Come on, baby, don't tease me.

Get over here, my big,
strong, intimidating man.

Okay, but if you're impressed
by my five,

wait 'till you see my ten.

- Oh!
- Oh, oh, oh!

You know what? That's it.

- This bedroom is all yours!
- No!

No! No, I'm the little brother.
No, you win! You win!

- Man, stay out of my way!
- No!

My ears are bleeding!

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -