Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[bubbling]

[beeping]

Starting security check on the Brainiac Stasis Field.

[beeping]

All six levels are intact.

It's hard to believe that's the last piece

'of Brainiac's circuitry.'

(Batman) 'The last that we know of.'

How much of him do you think is in there?

Too much. He's a regenerative computer program.

A virus that won't die.

There's an old saying about the wisdom

of keeping your enemies close to you

but there are times I wouldn't mind sending

'Brainiac down the nearest black hole.'

[alarms blaring]

Hey, I need everyone in the control room right away.

We got a little problem.

[keys beeping]

- What's wrong? - You got me.

The sensors are going crazy, but I can't see anything.

There it is. It's a cosmic superstring.

It packs more energy than a solar flare.

Shields up! Brace for collision!

thud

[groaning]

- Our energy core is drained. - What about backup?

We have some, but not enough to power the entire station.

[alarm blaring]

rizz

I've checked all the rooms.

Doesn't seem to have caused much damage.

You're a little too quick, Flash.

We've been knocked out of orbit.

We're heading for the stratosphere.

If I ran around the power cords Super-Speed

and generate enough static electricity to--

No. You could damage the core.

But there is someone who can get us out of this

if we can reach him in time.

? I'm good to go and yes I am ready ?

? Fight the criminals chase the bad guys ?

? Save the world fly through the sky ?

? Half kid half amazin' ?

? Okay static shock who you facin' ?

? Yeah one zip then you zapped ?

? Good against evil get trapped ?

? Look in my eyes I got the power ?

? Villains run from the static shower ?

? Superhero static shock ? ? Woo woo ?

? Superhero static shock ? ? Woo woo ?

? Criminals get twisted ?

? This superhero gifted ?

? Bell rings and I'm back in school ?

? Nobody know what I do okay ?

? Superhero static shock ? ? Woo woo ?

? Superhero static shock ? ? Woo woo ?

? Superhero static shock ? ? Woo woo ?

? One zip then you zapped ?

? Good against evil get trapped ?

? Look in my eyes I've got the power ?

? Villains run from the static shower ?

? Criminals get twisted ?

? This superhero gifted ?

? The bell rings and I'm back in school ?

? Nobody know what I do okay ?

? Superhero static shock ?

- It's an ambush! - Look out!

boom

? Let's go ?

Whoa!

? Come on ?

? Show me something show me what you got ?

?Show me something hit me with your best shot ?

? Bring it on bring it on bring it on ?

? Bring it on bring it on show me what you got ?

? Show me something as I showed you ?

How do you like my new boy band, Static?

I call them The Meta-Men.

You barely beat each of us alone, chump.

Now that we've joined forces, we're invincible.

Ugh. Bro, who do we go after first?

The police.

Ladies, first.

[groans]

You know something, sweetie? You got an odor problem.

Aah!

[groans]

[grunts]

crash

If I knew Static was friends with the Justice League

'I wouldn't have joined you boneheads.'

'Not even to do laundry.'

The Justice League!

? Fight fight fight fight ?

? You can try to stop me ?

[groans]

Yo! How come you never told me

you were down with these big dogs?

'Cause it's a secret.

So secret that I didn't even know.

Yo, Batman, thanks for the help

but don't you guys have a galaxy to save or somethin'?

- We need your help, Static. - Say what?

We need you to come to the Watchtower.

Up there? That one?

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Can I come too?

This isn't a field trip.

Please, oh, please.

You can stuff me in the stoway bin.

And when we get up there, I'll stand in the corner.

You can choose which one.

He can come, but we have to move quickly.

You heard the man.

- Cool. - Cool.

I made it to geek heaven.

Look! It's some sort of multi-phasic monitoring system.

I'll bet it can pick up any broadcast signal on Earth.

I have the power conduits all set for Static.

I'll see you in the control room.

What's goin' on?

We were hit by a cosmic anomaly.

It drained the Watchtower's central power core.

We need you to recharge it for us.

Recharge the station? Me?

Don't you guys have jumper cables?

This conduit leads to the power core

built deep inside the center of the Watchtower.

'Here's where you can feed in your energy.'

Some adventure. I feel like a great big AA battery.

Another way of looking at it is you're preventing the station

from crashing somewhere on Earth.

Quite possibly Dakota.

Maybe I should start recharging the station.

Good idea.

[electricity crackling]

Hey, rember your promise about staying in the corner.

- But-- - In the corner.

[groans]

(Hawkgirl) 'We regained our thrusters.'

I'm re-stabilizing our Earth orbit.

whoosh

Orbit re-stabilized.

[screaming]

Easy, G.L., he's Sparky's buddy.

[Gear groans]

No pictures.

Alright, Static, now that Green Lantern's back

he can take it from here.

Good. I feel like a grilled patty.

We don't have to go yet, do we?

So far, I've only seen one corner of the room.

[alarm blaring]

It's a distress call from Novalis 2.

An asteroid swarm is threatening to collide with their planet.

This is going to take all of us.

There goes an afternoon movie.

What about them?

The Watchtower isn't fully charged yet

so Static and Gear will have to stick around.

- Just in case. - By themselves?

As long as they don't touch anything

they should be fine.

You guys are old enough to stay home alone, right?

(both) Right.

? Hey hey hey everybody get your groove on ?

?Hey hey hey ?

Pizza in the Watchtower.

Does it get any better than this?

Yeah. Hope they don't mind us raidin' the fridge.

Hey, we're growing superheroes.

And I just spent around 500 gazillion calories

chargin' up this place.

- Did you see that? - What?

There was a face lookin' at us on the screen.

It didn't look human.

Phew, big deal. We just spent the whole day

with a Martian and a Thanagarian.

[alarm blaring]

That can't be good.

[both screaming]

rizz

[grunting]

[both grunting]

Run!

Why won't it close?

Maybe I can override it.

[sighs] I think I lost my appetite.

(Gear) I don't know if this is a good idea.

We don't wanna make the J. League mad.

You saw hawk-nose swing that mace.

Yeah, well, I'd like to find out why this place

almost blew us outta here.

Hey, look.

Huh?

My bedroom could sure use one of those.

This is weird, bro.

'The computer's firewalls are expanding.'

It's as if a virus is taking over

and locking everybody else out.

Can you isolate it?

(Gear) Man, it's slippery, but I think I got it.

The League files have it ID-ed.

The virus is called...Brainiac?

That's the face.

What's he doing in their system?

(Brainiac) Correction. My system.

I've been growing exponentially

ever since I sent the Justice League away.

What?

I summoned them away

with a false distress call.

'When I dispose of you two'

'the last human infestation'

'will be gone from the Watchtower.'

Then I will turn it into my new body

and use it to assimilate the planet Earth.

Assimilate the Earth?

First, I will collect all of the Earth's knowledge

and then I will destroy it.

Whoa. This virus wants to do a lot more than erase emails.

Yeah, but why is he tellin' us everything?

[gasps] It's a distraction!

[whirring]

rizz

(Brainiac) You only delayed the inevitable.

All of this space will soon belong to me.

- Huh? - Huh?

[both grunting]

And to think I begged to come here.

[gasps]

Whoa! That's a big robot.

'That's like a Shaq-size robot.'

Backpack, I could use a little help here.

Hey, computer-bot, digitize this!

Ah!

rizz

(Brainiac) 'There is nothing you can do.'

'And no point in trying to hide.'

We gotta call the Justice League.

I'm gonna try to use their comm link.

'Brainiac doesn't have full control yet.'

[gasps]

(Gear on radio) 'Justice League, over.'

[garbled] 'Please come in. Justice League, over.'

I can't boost the signal.

Distress call, fake!

Repeat, distress call, fake!

Brainiac loose and..

Static, look out! Look out!

(Brainiac) 'You are only delaying the inevitable.'

(Gear) You keep sayin' that like it's a bad thing.

[grunts]

Come on.

The launch bays aren't responding. We can't get in.

Let's go.

pew pew

[screams]

(Batman) I can't connect to any of the systems inside.

Brainiac has completely cut us off.

But maybe I can still reach Static and Gear.

Static, Gear, come in. Do you read me?

What is your situation?

[both grunting]

Let's just say there's room for improvement.

[both grunting]

Now, I know how my pimples feel.

(Brainiac) It's time to rid myself of you human pests.

[grunts]

rizz

? You wanna play rough? Let's play ?

? You wanna hang tough? Okay ?

? You wanna play rough? Let's play ?

? You wanna hang tough tough? ?

?Okay let's play ?

Uh-oh, I think you made him mad.

? You wanna hang tough? Okay let's play ?

? Okay okay let's play play play ?

? Let's play play play ?

(Brainiac) 'Stop. I am not done. Stop.'

pew pew

(Static) Batman, you still there?

I've located your position.

You're close to the central power core.

You need to shut it down.

How am I supposed to do that?

You have to drain the core this time

and absorb its energy.

You mean take back what I put into it?

Exactly.

Well, I lit this crib in the first place.

So, I guess I'm the best guy to turn the lights out.

Yeah, hi, what about Brainiac?

You really think he's gonna let us get near the core?

I've been jamming our communication

so, he won't know our plan.

And now that Justice League

is gonna provide a major distraction.

So, get going. Over and out.

pew pew pew

crash

pew pew pew

boom

That should give Brainiac a king-size headache.

I got it.

boom

(Gear) This has gotta be the place.

[whirring]

Keep Backpack plugged in, just in case.

- Oh! - Static!

I am everywhere. I am everything.

You cannot defeat me.

[pop song]

Gear, this is no time to download music.

Oh, yes, it is.

Downloading this song 100 billion times

is filling up the station's memory.

'Brainiac will crash'

'just like my home computer does'

if I try to do too many things at once.

[garbled music]

Hear that, guys? The Watchtower has been turned

into a house party and Gear and Static are the DJs.

They're trying to disorient him from the inside.

Looks like it's working.

What's-what's-what's hap-hap-happening?

Cannot-cannot concentrate.

Need-need-need more m-me-memory.

Need-need-need more m-me-memory.

So much for the beat. Now, it's time for the beat down.

?Come on ?

[grunts]

? Let's get rolling rolling ?

? Let the battle begin ?

Cover me. I'm going to gaze inside.

? Let's get rolling ?

? Let the battle begin ?

? Battle battle battle begin ?

? Let's get rolling come on ?

No-o! No!

No, I can-can-can cannot be-be-be beaten.

I am Bra-ainiac, B-Braini-Brainiac.

Got to hold on.

One-one-one day, I, I will be-be-be back-be back-be back

and-and-and I will play the funk down.

[groans]

Yo, Brainiac's not too bad on the mic.

Mix-master Brainiac. Now ,that's fat.

Yes, very fat indeed.

(Hawkgirl) You did well, both of you.

Hey, just another day's work for us superheroes, right?

Do not make light of your accomplishment.

This was a very serious matter.

Yeah, you two dweebs saved the world today.

So, when I'm lookin' for work this summer

can I put that on my resume?

We'd better get back.

There's plenty of work left to do.

Could I, please, just get one picture of everyone

so, tomorrow I can believe this actually happened?

Maybe one.

? And you'll know when you know ?

? We're gonna work out in the end ?

? But we got to hang tough ?

? 'Cause you know for sure ?

? We're gonna make it in the end ?

? We're gonna work out in the end ?

You think my pops will understand

I was late for dinner 'cause I had to save the world?

Probably not.

Okay. Yeah, then I'll just tell him it was your fault.

Later.

[yawns]

Time to shut you down, buddy.

Hey! Backpack, ugh, what's the matter with you?

What're you doing? Hey! Hey, stop!

(Brainiac) So, you thought it was over, did you?

Incorrect, human. This is only the beginning.

[Richie groans] 'No! No! Stop!'

'Uh! Sto-op!'

[theme music]

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