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1
00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:04,000
(MUSIC)
2
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,480
Well...
3
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...I have to go.
4
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,520
Ooh. Off to work?
5
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,120
- Off to work.
- Yeah.
6
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,120
Escape.
7
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Escape!
8
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,680
What would you do if the world
was actually ending?
9
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I'd come visit you.
10
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,480
Here?
11
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Yeah, I'd bring the entire family.
12
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All seven of you?
13
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- And Myrtle.
- Right.
14
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:19,880
Right.
15
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,360
That's all right, isn't it?
16
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,920
I mean, it's a lovely thought.
17
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I'm not sure it's practical.
18
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,840
I mean, we'd have to get
a very big shop in.
19
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,160
Oh, come on! It's worth it.
20
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,480
You'd want to usher in the apocalypse
surrounded by my children, wouldn't you?
21
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:36,800
Would... Would Tesco's still be working
if everyone knew the world was ending?
22
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,080
They might not have any toilet roll left.
23
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,480
But we're easy.
24
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,240
You know, whatever you can rustle up.
25
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,440
I mean, it's a lovely...
It's a lovely thought.
26
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:45,880
Just make a big omelette.
We'll be fine.
27
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,680
I'm not sure it would be practical.
28
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:51,200
- Can I just say, if it does end...
- Yeah.
29
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,720
...just hold off for a little bit on that.
Is that OK?
30
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,320
It depends how long we've got,
though. It's quite a long drive.
31
00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:58,480
Yeah, well, I tell you what.
32
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,320
Hopefully we'd all perish
before you actually arrived.
33
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,520
- Cos it is quite a way, isn't it?
- Hopefully?
34
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,800
But I'd know that you were coming,
and that would make me feel good,
35
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,400
but then you wouldn't actually get here
36
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,840
because that would be difficult.
37
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:10,920
So, what would you do?
38
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,800
Uh...
39
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,480
Do I know the world is ending?
40
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,760
What do you mean?
41
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,240
Do I know the world's ending?
42
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,920
Has it been announced?
43
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,160
I don't fucking know.
It's your hypothetical situation.
44
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,720
You've got to give me some details.
45
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,680
Do I know the end is coming?
46
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:25,680
Yes, you do.
47
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:26,800
I would have a nap.
48
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:27,840
You'd have a nap?
49
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,120
Well, I can nap anywhere.
50
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,400
And if it... If it was a surprise?
51
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,640
Er, well, then I wouldn't know
it was coming, would I?
52
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,680
So I would just be doing
normal things.
53
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,400
More than likely,
I would be talking to you.
54
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,520
- Yes.
- Exactly like this.
55
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,600
Sorry, it's, um... It's chaos here.
56
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,080
Everything all right?
57
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,280
The suitcases are back.
58
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:59,280
So, right, if we can just go through this
a couple of times,
59
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,320
even just once, we'll be good to go.
60
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:02,200
7.30 start.
61
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,160
Yeah. So, our scene's up first live,
and then they do the auction.
62
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,240
Ooh, getting close!
63
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,720
I'm really looking forward to it.
64
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,920
Yeah, we just need to get David
to leave first.
65
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,520
Yeah, Michael's heading to the airport
in a couple of hours.
66
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:18,160
-Aren't you going with him?
- Nope, I'm going to Sweden tomorrow.
67
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,120
Sweden?
68
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,360
The rules have changed.
69
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,640
So, he can get to New York,
but he has to isolate.
70
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,120
We don't want Lyra to isolate.
71
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,960
And he has to go to New York?
72
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,080
There's a wedding.
73
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,440
He's the best man.
He's written a speech.
74
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,600
Well, doesn't he have to isolate too,
though?
75
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,760
He's booked a room across the road
of the ceremony,
76
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,760
so he's going to shout his speech.
77
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,960
- Are you joking?
- Mm-nm.
78
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,640
He's very proud of himself.
79
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,280
Thinks he's found the one loophole.
80
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,400
Well, you're going to have
a lovely time.
81
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,720
- Shall we?
- Yeah, sure.
82
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,400
Sorry, we do actually just need
to wait for David to leave.
83
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,200
- Oh, yeah. OK. No rush.
- Like, two minutes.
84
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:50,720
He's on a call with Michael.
85
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,520
I know, it's just that the car's here
and double parked,
86
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:54,960
so he... He won't be long.
87
00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:01,520
MICHAEL: The birds are flying away.
88
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,000
Yeah, they do that this time of year.
89
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,600
How do they stay in formation?
90
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,080
You know I'm not an ornithologist?
91
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,920
- Er, I am aware of that fact.
- Yeah.
92
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,120
But I was just wondering
if you might hazard a guess.
93
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:19,640
I would hazard that they follow
the one in front...
94
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,360
Ah, probably.
95
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,120
...until they get home.
96
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,480
Like the elephants.
97
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:25,560
Like the elephants.
98
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,160
I'm finding this quite difficult.
99
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,000
Ah, don't be silly.
100
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,400
- Time to go.
- Time to go.
101
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,320
- To work.
- To work!
102
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:35,560
Crossing the Severn Bridge.
103
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:36,880
Yes. Crossing the...
104
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,600
You all right?
105
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,840
(CLEARS HIS THROAT) Yeah.
106
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:47,080
Anna and Lyra
aren't coming to New York.
107
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,720
- Oh.
- Am I a bad father?
108
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,280
- No.
- Am I a bad friend?
109
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,520
- No.
- No.
110
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,320
But I do have to go.
111
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,560
You do have to go.
112
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,560
Hey, listen, though.
113
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,840
- We did it.
- (CHUCKLES) We did do it.
114
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,040
Yeah. Sanity intact.
115
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,200
Intact-ish.
116
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,800
Just about serviceable.
117
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,960
Yeah, I mean, enough for jazz.
118
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,320
Probably quite good for jazz.
119
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:17,240
Absolutely. And we never ran out
of things to say.
120
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:18,640
Is that true?
121
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,000
Well, I did have to do
a lot of the heavy lifting.
122
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,000
Oh, fuck you.
123
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:26,160
Well, no, only when you were having
your existential crisis.
124
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,640
- You had one of those, too!
- Yes, but mine was smaller
125
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,800
- because I have a smaller existence.
- Yeah.
126
00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:34,240
And I had time, therefore,
to keep the badinage going.
127
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:35,280
Well, thank goodness
128
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,960
you had all those years of experience
to fall back on.
129
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:42,880
Yes, well, love,
I have the craft of improv.
130
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:43,920
Pew-pew!
131
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,200
Oh, Spidey.
132
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,480
- Yes!
- Improv. Spider web!
133
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,720
Yes! Oh, here comes my zap,
pow, bang, wallop!
134
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,160
- Ptchoo!
- Wey-hey!
135
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,200
Come on, serve me one up.
Serve me one up.
136
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,160
Here it comes. Here it comes.
Here it comes! Here it comes!
137
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,480
- Oh, and there it is!
- Oh, no!
138
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,920
He's coming back. He's coming back.
He's coming back!
139
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,560
And pew!
140
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,320
Oh, in my face!
141
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,280
- Like improv jizz.
- Oh, yeah!
142
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,640
There must be things
that we still haven't talked about.
143
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,920
- No, I really have to go.
- Books!
144
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,680
- No.
- We never did books.
145
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,200
- No. I don't care. I have to go.
- Come on!
146
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,720
- They're waiting for me outside.
- Come on.
147
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,920
I'm going. I have to go. This is me.
I'm leaving.
148
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,720
No...
149
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,040
- No...
- (GASPS)
150
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,240
Books!
151
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,760
(GRUFFLY) Books!
152
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,720
Their conversations are like gas.
153
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,280
It just expands to fit whatever vessel
they put it into.
154
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,360
I don't have that kind of relationship
with anyone.
155
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,800
I think it's a fear of silence.
156
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:40,840
Oh.
157
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,120
I like silence.
158
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,160
I adore it.
159
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,240
That's cos you have a one-year-old.
160
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:47,920
Silence is like...
161
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,720
(CAR HORN BLARES)
162
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,240
For fuck's sake, David!
163
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,480
- Did you hear that?
- No. Books!
164
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,840
- Normality beckons.
- Normality can wait.
165
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,560
- Georgia's shouting on me.
- She can wait too.
166
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,840
- Yeah, well, my taxi can't.
- I'm going to ask anyway.
167
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,720
Have you read The Last Question?
168
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,440
- Oh, let me think... No!
- Right.
169
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,160
It is about the circularity of time.
170
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,560
Oh, my God!
171
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:13,560
A thing begins where it ends,
and vice versa.
172
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:17,120
- Hmm. OK!
- Ouroboros, the eternal snake
173
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,480
who eats his own tail.
174
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,160
Jesus! Pretension sticks to you
like peanut butter, doesn't it?
175
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,080
Gloms onto you.
176
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,520
Sticks in your beard.
177
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,000
(GULPS)
178
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,280
GEORGIA:
OK. So it's a really simple system.
179
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,680
We're basically just going to stream it
from our laptops.
180
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,880
- Great.
- Yeah.
181
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,680
- Ladies, may I moot an idea?
- Hmm?
182
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,120
Can we work together again?
183
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,880
I just... My agent's gone quiet
and...and...
184
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,560
...I just thought maybe I could write
something for us.
185
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,720
- What?
- I feel like strong women
186
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,280
saving fragile men maybe is feeling
a little bit stale now.
187
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:52,200
- Hmm.
- Yes.
188
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,040
So something else. But I just think
this next bit's going to be harder
189
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,400
because everyone's feeling so fragile.
190
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:58,640
(CAR HORN BLARES)
191
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,880
Oh, for fuck's sake!
192
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:07,320
We've never talked about...
193
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,520
...love.
194
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,560
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Oh.
195
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,880
GEORGIA: Can you get off that machine
and out of the house
196
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:17,120
before I bury you in the garden
with your fucking goldfish?
197
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,960
- Hi, Michael.
- Hi, Georgia.
198
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,360
Hi. Could you let him go?
199
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,480
- Happily.
- OK.
200
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,600
OK. (CLEARS HIS THROAT)
201
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,560
You on... You on set today?
202
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:32,800
Yes, this very evening.
203
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,560
Ooh! Night shoots!
204
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,960
- Breaking us straight back in!
- Yeah. What time do you wrap?
205
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,400
Oh, middle of the night,
I would've thought.
206
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:42,160
Well, Cardiff is lovely
in the middle of the night.
207
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,440
I'm very excited.
208
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,760
(MICHAEL CHUCKLES)
209
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,120
What if I can't remember
how to do it?
210
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,680
- Act?
- Yeah.
211
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,600
No! It's easy-peasy, man!
212
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,600
- Course it is!
- If the two of us can do it...
213
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,640
It's just that I have
no other discernible skills.
214
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,120
- That's true.
- It's pretending.
215
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,200
It's just pretending.
216
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,120
- Right, this is it. I have to go.
- Right you are.
217
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,880
I'm still not ready.
218
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,720
Georgia's really angry.
219
00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:11,760
Well, I'll miss this.
220
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,960
Listen, we've got so much
still to talk about.
221
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,920
- Yes!
- Next time.
222
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,080
Yeah.
223
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,280
No! No!
224
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:21,720
Argh!
225
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,560
- OK. Cases are in the car.
- OK. Great. Thank you.
226
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:41,760
- OK. Wallet?
- Yes.
227
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,640
- Phone?
- Yes.
228
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:45,200
- Keys?
- Yes.
229
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,240
- Yay, excellent!
- Good luck with the thing tonight.
230
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,480
- Feeling ready?
- Well, I would be
231
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,240
if I was allowed to go and rehearse,
232
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,280
- which is what I should be doing now.
- Oh, shall I go and say hi?
233
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,880
- No.
- What time's it at? 7.30?
234
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,080
- 7.30.
- Right, well, I'm gonna be on set,
235
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,960
but I'm gonna be thinking of you.
Right. Here I go.
236
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,360
Feeling ready?
237
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,520
Well, I've learnt my lines.
238
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:01,920
Have you?
239
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,440
- I've read them out loud.
- Sure.
240
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,920
- Laptop?
- Fuck.
241
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,120
Sorry!
242
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,520
He'll just be two minutes!
243
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:09,960
I know.
244
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,560
I know he is a fucking dickhead.
Imagine being married to him!
245
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,960
Oh, you did the TARDIS joke!
246
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,840
It's really funny, no-one ever does that.
247
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,080
Driver's a fan.
248
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,200
Aw, nice.
249
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,400
Mask?
250
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,400
- No.
- For fuck's sake.
251
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,640
Sorry. One last thing. Be right there.
252
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,280
- The driver is not a fan.
- How long's your journey?
253
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,360
Three hours.
254
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,760
Oh, it's going to be fun.
255
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,720
- There's so much I wanna say.
- Aw...
256
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,000
I just really need to miss you...
257
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,960
...which I can do the moment you leave.
258
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,400
OK. Yeah.
259
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:43,760
- Goodbye.
- Bye-bye.
260
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:46,960
Oh, thank fuck.
261
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:49,680
(SIGHS CONTENTEDLY)
262
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:50,880
All right?
263
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,440
Yeah. Fine.
264
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,040
Can I make a confession?
265
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,440
Always!
266
00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:02,280
I might have put David's grey hoodie
in the rubbish last night.
267
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,520
And they took away the bins this morning.
268
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:08,800
So...
269
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,640
Anyway...shall we?
270
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,400
- Yeah.
- OK.
271
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,880
Just a minute.
272
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,240
No rush.
273
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,440
This is a bad time, is it?
274
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,680
No, no. Um, I'm just getting ready for...
275
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,680
We're filming the thing for Georgia.
276
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:33,200
- Oh, yeah. No, sure. Cool.
- Yeah, so I've just got to...
277
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,320
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a bad time.
278
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,160
No, no, no, it's fine. Honestly.
279
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,960
I've just got, uh, five minutes.
280
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:45,640
I tell you what's happened. I've got
the time difference wrong, haven't I?
281
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,880
You've got the time difference wrong.
282
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,320
That's on me. Again.
283
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,560
- I'm coming home.
- What?
284
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,640
- When?
- Uh...
285
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,520
Soon.
286
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,680
Today. Now.
There's a car outside now.
287
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,120
But what about the rewrites?
288
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,120
No need.
289
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,400
- No need?
- Phoebe's going to do them.
290
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,240
Right.
291
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,280
It is funnier. She's made it funnier.
292
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,680
That's good.
293
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,320
Well, you can't write women.
294
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,480
You're not supposed to say that.
295
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,080
- You're not... That's not...
- But you can't.
296
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,040
Yeah, but Team Simon?
297
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,400
- (IMITATES GUNSHOTS)
- Oh, yeah! Team Simon!
298
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,000
Whoo! Yeah.
299
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,000
How much of this have you changed
for this thing that you're doing?
300
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,600
How much of what I wrote have you...?
What have you changed?
301
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,320
Just the pronouns.
302
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,080
- Hey! Hi, baby!
- Hey, babe!
303
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,040
How are you? How'd it go?
304
00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,320
Mmm! Yeah, really well, thanks.
305
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,280
How was the scene?
306
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,280
Yeah, it was really... It was really good.
307
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:55,600
Yeah?
308
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,680
- Anna and Lucy were very funny.
- Right.
309
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,000
I was hilarious, obviously.
310
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,280
- Possible spin-off?
- Well, never say never.
311
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,680
I don't think you've ever told me
what the scene was.
312
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,440
Oh, it's, um...
313
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,800
Well, it's a version of that scene
that you did in series one,
314
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,480
where you're all talking over each other,
315
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,080
only Anna's Michael, Lucy's Simon
and I'm you.
316
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,520
Ah!
317
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,520
- Yeah.
- People liked it, did they?
318
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,040
Yeah, it was really interesting,
actually.
319
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,840
Most people said that they preferred it
to the original.
320
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,040
- Did they?
- Hmm.
321
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,760
- Most people?
- Across the board, actually.
322
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,440
- Right.
- Yeah.
323
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,000
And were these people
you would trust, or...?
324
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,120
- Oh, with my life.
- Surprising, but...
325
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,480
- Mmm.
- OK, OK.
326
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,680
And did you hit all your targets?
327
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,200
We exceeded them.
328
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,480
Very good.
329
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:37,760
Yeah.
330
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,120
The baby did threaten to derail it
at one point,
331
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,120
- but she settled back down.
- What was the problem?
332
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,320
I don't know.
The little bitch wouldn't tell me.
333
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,280
- How's filming?
- Fine.
334
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,280
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
335
00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,160
Where are you?
336
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,040
- I'm in the hotel room.
- Are you sat on a loo?
337
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,160
This is the only place the Wi-Fi
would work. Promise.
338
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,720
Sure, yeah. No, sure.
339
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,520
You know, it felt a bit odd, actually.
340
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,960
- What, on set?
- Yeah, I felt nervous.
341
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,800
- Nervous?
- Yeah.
342
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,480
I know! That didn't used to happen.
343
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,480
- No.
- I feel sort of flabby.
344
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,480
Flabby?
345
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,120
Yeah. You know, intellectually flabby.
346
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:16,800
Yeah. I mean, not obviously...
347
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,480
Like, I couldn't remember
quite how to do it.
348
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,560
Oh.
349
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,080
Well...
350
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,240
- That'll get better.
- Yeah.
351
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,840
Bet Michael wouldn't have felt nervous.
352
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,200
Hmm.
353
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,040
I miss you, baby.
354
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,600
I miss you too, baby.
355
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,960
- (BEEPING)
- Oh, it's Michael!
356
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,640
Aw, course it is.
357
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,040
Shall I let him in?
I'll let him in.
358
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,280
Be nice to see New York.
359
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,960
(NEW YORK ACCENT) Hey, the big cheese
in the Big Apple!
360
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,280
Hello!
361
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,000
What the fuck are you wearing?
362
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,720
- Hi, Michael.
- Hello, Georgia.
363
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,600
That's not New York.
364
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,000
Oh, do you know, I've often said
that your husband
365
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,880
has the observational skills
of a pewter tankard.
366
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,720
And I have yet to disagree with you.
367
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:03,960
You're still at home!
368
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,920
God, there is no getting past you,
is there, Sherlock?
369
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,360
Is Anna still there too?
370
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,480
- Oh, there she is. Anna!
- Hi, there.
371
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,800
Ooh, don't you look dandy?
372
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,160
Thank you.
373
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,960
It's only you letting the side down,
college boy.
374
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,240
Well, nobody told me there was
a fucking dress code, did they?
375
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,680
Are you in a toilet?
376
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,440
I am in the toilet because it's
the only place that the Wi-Fi works
377
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,960
in this crappy hotel room.
378
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,200
Is he always this cranky
late at night, Georgia?
379
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,400
Yeah, always.
380
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,160
- G, did you know about this?
- Yeah!
381
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,040
I spent the whole evening with Anna and
Michael. It was clearly in the background.
382
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,440
- What happened to the wedding?
- All right, erm...
383
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,280
Say hello to New York.
Say hello to David.
384
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,040
Hello, David.
385
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,520
Hi.
386
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,240
I'm Michael's best friend.
387
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,000
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Really?
388
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,880
Now, that kind of territorial approach
389
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,160
is going to get David
a wee bit ticked off.
390
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,200
Yeah.
391
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,080
Now, why don't you fuck off
back to your party and your new wife?
392
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,200
All right?
393
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,360
- Say bye to everyone.
- Congratulations!
394
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,600
- Bye!
- Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
395
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:04,480
So, you dialled in in the end?
396
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,120
It seemed appropriate.
397
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,920
Right. And at no point
in the long, long run-up
398
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,280
to the endless conversations about this,
that never occurred to you?
399
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,640
Look, computers are not my bag.
400
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,400
- Right.
- Did you do your speech?
401
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,960
He got a bit nervous.
402
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,840
- Oh, did you?
- No, I didn't.
403
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,600
- Yes, you did.
- No, I was fine.
404
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,720
After two whiskies
and a packet of crisps.
405
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,040
Yes, well, we all have our methods,
406
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,960
- don't we?
- He was pacing up and down
407
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,520
saying he'd forgotten how to do it.
408
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:36,760
I had...a minor wobble.
409
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,280
Did you have a wee wobble?
410
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:39,880
I had a wobble-ette.
411
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,680
- What about Sweden?
- We are going tomorrow.
412
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,800
- Aw!
- Where are you?
413
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,040
(WELSH ACCENT) I'm in Cardiff, in't I?
414
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,120
Oh, of course.
415
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:48,280
Iechyd da!
416
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,680
- Of course you are. How was filming?
- Yeah, it was fine.
417
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,800
- Yeah? Really?
- It's like riding a bike.
418
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,680
Yeah? I've never seen you ride a bike.
419
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,200
Well, I have ridden a bike
420
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,040
and therefore I'm capable
of doing it again.
421
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,200
Right. OK. So no nerves?
422
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:01,520
Nothing. Cool as a cucumber,
423
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,720
What about the, you know, flabbiness?
424
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,120
That was...
425
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,480
It's not a conversation we need to share.
426
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,520
I think we've gone past that.
I think we share everything.
427
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,160
I was cool as a cucumber,
428
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,760
and that's all you need to know.
429
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,480
(MICHAEL CHUCKLES)
430
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,440
So, listen, how far away am I?
431
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,880
W-What's the distance between
Cardiff and Port Talbot?
432
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,640
About 40 minutes.
433
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,800
Come on. Shall I come and visit?
434
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,120
- Now?
- Yeah, shall I come and visit?
435
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,800
(WHISPERS)
436
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,200
- Nah.
- Oh, you grumpy bastards.
437
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,800
No, it's late. Come on.
438
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:37,920
I haven't seen you in months!
439
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,840
Yeah, and I know it's been very hard
for you, but...
440
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,520
Oh, you're an infuriating
human being.
441
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,120
Oh, and you're a very rude person.
442
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,160
I am not!
443
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:49,120
Just willy-nilly inviting yourself
round into people's houses.
444
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:50,960
It's not like that in Wales, David.
445
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,440
You're not in Scotland now.
446
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:56,280
Well, I am merely pointing out
that I'm in the vicinity.
447
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,600
Well, point made.
Thank you very much.
448
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,920
Nos da, goodnight, cheers.
449
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,240
Shove your leek up your arse.
450
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,280
- Hi, baby!
- Hi!
451
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,240
- This is a lovely surprise.
- Yeah, well, I mean,
452
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,320
I want to say it's because
I missed you so much.
453
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:23,360
Yeah.
454
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,080
But I just really needed to get away
from our kids.
455
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,440
No, sure. You brought this little one.
456
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,680
Yeah, I had to bring that one
otherwise my tits explode.
457
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:31,240
Of course. Is anyone looking after
the other kids, or...?
458
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,480
No, I just left them on their own
with some stale bread
459
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:34,760
and some candlestick stumps.
460
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,760
- They'll be fine.
- Well, they're very resilient.
461
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,160
- They are, yeah.
- Yeah.
462
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,760
- Aw!
- I brought you a packed lunch.
463
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,360
Aren't you the perfect wife?
464
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,120
I am, kind of, yeah.
465
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,440
There's not actually anything in here.
466
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,440
No, well, Wales is a really long way.
467
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,960
Of course, yeah.
468
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,920
Yeah.
469
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,600
Do you want to make out?
470
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,880
I'd love to. Unfortunately,
I am supposed to have been in make-up
471
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,160
four minutes ago, so...
472
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,320
Oh, OK. Well, I'll go home, then.
473
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,520
I mean, stay and chat for a bit.
474
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,880
OK.
475
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,400
- What do you want to talk about?
- Books.
476
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,200
- Books?
- Books. I want to talk about books.
477
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,400
Right.
478
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,560
I don't historically have a lot to say
about books.
479
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,200
- OK, well, let's give it a go.
- Yeah.
480
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,800
- What was the last book that you read?
- Erm, I don't know.
481
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,120
What was the last book that you bought me?
482
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,240
No idea.
483
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,880
Cos I know I definitely
didn't read that one.
484
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,320
Excellent. Well, this is going well,
isn't it?
485
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,520
- (KNOCK ON WINDOW)
- Argh!
486
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,320
- Oh, my...
- Bloody useless!
487
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,000
It's the old man of Port Talbot.
488
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,120
We've been here for hours, posing.
489
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,720
Oh!
490
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,800
- Look at you, in the flesh!
- Here I am!
491
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,600
I can't believe it!
492
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:41,360
All the bloody,
"Oh, I'm a listener, to you, to me."
493
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,000
I mean, I was here for hours.
494
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,400
There's very little actual charisma,
though.
495
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,760
You sort of just disappear into a wall.
496
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,480
Can't hear you, sorry.
497
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,600
If you put your mask on,
I'll wind the window down.
498
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,480
Put your mask on,
I'll wind the window down.
499
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:01,840
- Ah!
- All right?
500
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,400
- There he is!
- Hello, Georgia. You all right?
501
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,760
- Hi.
- Look at this!
502
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,440
- I know.
- How long have you got
503
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:07,480
before you've got to go to work?
504
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,280
I'm meant to have been in make-up
eight minutes ago.
505
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,680
- Right.
- Yeah. When's your flight?
506
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,160
Er, yes!
507
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,640
All right. All right. All right.
508
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,680
We are...mmm, yes, quite late already.
509
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:17,840
OK.
510
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,320
But, you know, you wanted to work,
didn't you?
511
00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:21,480
You wanted to travel. Here we are.
512
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,000
I guess that worked out, then.
513
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,800
Look at you!
514
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,120
- Look, I'll get you on the computer.
- Yes, yes. OK. Hello, Georgia!
515
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,880
- Hi, Michael.
- Ah, yeah.
516
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,760
I can't...I can't...I can't hear
through these things, anyway.
517
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,000
No, don't worry.
518
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,200
I'll...I'll... Yeah.
519
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,400
- All right.
- See you later.
520
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,520
- Lovely to see you, Georgia.
- You too, Michael.
521
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,120
- See you, Anna.
- Bye, Anna!
522
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,680
Bye.
523
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,560
- Aw.
- Yeah.
524
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,560
GEORGIA: He looks like the Hobbit.
525
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,000
Ah, didn't record.
526
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,840
Oh, well. Um...
527
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,320
Did it record here?
528
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,520
Did we even slate it?
529
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,320
- For fuck's sake!
- Have you turned it off yet?
530
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,160
I don't know,
because I pressed the button...
531
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,760
I don't know if I pressed it.
532
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,240
- Still running.
- Still running, OK.
533
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:36,800
So this is an end slate.
534
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,720
That was 11.
7-11-3.
535
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,720
Which we might not have
any sound for.
536
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,600
We've got on there
and we've got it on here.
537
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,080
That's turned off.
538
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:46,400
Good luck.
539
00:21:46,450 --> 00:21:51,000
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