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1
00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:03,520
'You say you don't know her surname?'
2
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:06,680
I don't know her surname, no.
Her first name is Robin.
3
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:08,240
She lives in Brunswick Street.
4
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,000
'In Watford, you said?'
5
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:11,720
Yes, have you found her?
6
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,440
'I'm afraid there's really nothing
I can do without a surname.'
7
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,560
Well...it's just not right, is it?
8
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,560
Who decided that surnames
were so all-important?
9
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,840
I mean, why even bother handing out
first names if they're so useless?
10
00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,240
'Sir, do you have
any other information
11
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,320
'about the party
you are trying to reach?' Er, yes...
12
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,280
She's American, 5'2,
13
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,280
lovely chestnut brown hair.
14
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,160
Nice sense of humour.
15
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,320
A great smile, you know?
16
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,360
Good American teeth.
17
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:45,800
And just a...a hint of Chanel, if
I'm any judge of feminine fragrance.
18
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,640
'Sir, we do not take kindly
to nuisance calls
19
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,000
'and will not hesitate
to discontinue your service
20
00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:54,720
'if you choose to make a habit of
this.' No, no, I assure you that...
21
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,400
Hello? Hello?
22
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,600
Cos he gets up in the morning
23
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,520
And he goes to work at nine
24
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,080
And he comes back home at 5:30
25
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,800
Gets the same train every time
26
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,560
And he's oh so healthy
27
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,160
In his body and his mind
28
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,520
He's a well-respected
man about town
29
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:28,120
? Doing the best thing
so conservatively... ?
30
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:33,160
Another round, boys?
Not for me, I am teaching tomorrow.
31
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,280
I thought you got sacked last week?
I did.
32
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:39,320
But I offered to send a condolence
card to Mrs Pitman's widower as a gesture of good faith,
33
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,320
so they're using me as needed until
they find a permanent replacement.
34
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,240
This is very interesting, but we're
supposed to be planning my stag.
35
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,920
We are. I vote Southend.
36
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,240
Ah, now Southend is home
to the world's...
37
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,120
..longest pleasure pier, yeah.
38
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,320
Ha! We did Southend
my last marriage. Bad omen.
39
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,800
What about London?
40
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:59,240
It's only 18 miles away,
and we never go. It's madness.
41
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:03,560
Sold! A weekend of debauchery
in swinging London town. Details.
42
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,760
Playboy Casino's at the Hilton.
I've been dying to go.
43
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,960
A casino? That'll be
something different for you.
44
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,840
You can't go one day without
gambling, can you? Wanna bet?
45
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:13,200
Oh, can we go on an open-top bus?
46
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,760
No, we're not going on
an open top bus!
47
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,800
Well, I'll not be taking the Tube,
thank you.
48
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,440
Beans, Quatermass And The Pit
was NOT a documentary.
49
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,920
If you want your brains
taken over by Martians, go right ahead and take the Tube.
50
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,880
Well, Ross, Sloaney,
you've got the cars.
51
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,920
My little mishap has left
the car running a bit funny, so, er...I can't risk it.
52
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,040
Sandra's not going to let me
take the car to London
53
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,840
for a night of drinking
with my mates.
54
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,680
If we can't drive and we can't take
the Tube, then London's out.
55
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,600
We'll have to find somewhere
closer to home.
56
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,280
That's it! Sorted! We'll do it here.
Jesus!
57
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,040
Now for the date.
Right. I am free on Friday.
58
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,200
I can't do Friday.
Office Christmas party.
59
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,320
What about Thursday?
Mmm, good for me.
60
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,280
No, Thursday's no good.
Let me guess,
61
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,560
something about your...mum?
62
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,120
Well, yeah, actually I've got to
take her to bingo. Saturday?
63
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,160
Yeah, good for me.
Can't do Saturday.
64
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,440
Got the in-laws coming.
Can't afford a divorce.
65
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,440
After that,
we're heading towards Christmas.
66
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,520
Yeah, I could probably do Christmas.
What about tonight? What?
67
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,360
I can't do tonight. Why not?
Because I am teaching tomorrow,
68
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,640
and I can't do fractions
if I'm vomiting into a basin.
69
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,960
And also because I'm not having
it in here, or tonight.
70
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,800
Come on, Reg, it's now or never.
71
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,080
But what about the strippers?
72
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,600
Hmm, Bertha's behind the bar.
She might be game.
73
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,720
Christ. Isn't it supposed to be
your night with Brian, Ross?
74
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,360
Oh, God, yeah.
75
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,640
'Ere, Brian?
76
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,640
Looks like this one
might go on a bit.
77
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,360
Do you want to stay here,
or wait in the car?
78
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,680
Stay, I suppose. All right.
Keep your head down, son.
79
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,640
To Reggie's stag!
80
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,520
Come on,
let's get you home to your mum.
81
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,760
Yeah, you're right.
She'll be worried sick.
82
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,400
Where's Brian?
Why are you holding my hand?
83
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:05,880
Well, you offered it.
84
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,600
Yeah, for my son,
not for you, you big idiot.
85
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,080
Ross? You forgetting something?
86
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,160
Come 'ere. Here we go.
87
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:15,800
Come on.
88
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,520
'Ere, Brian, what did I tell you
about keeping your head down?
89
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,800
Right, we're off.
90
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,360
Hey, cheers, mate.
91
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,320
It was a great do tonight.
92
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,440
Ross?
93
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,600
What? Are you driving?
94
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,920
Yeah. What, you're driving
with your son in the car?
95
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,280
Well, I'm not going to leave him
here, am I?
96
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,040
Can I jump in the back?
97
00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,840
Yeah, come on. You can keep
a look out for traffic lights.
98
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,640
I'll see you, Beans.
99
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,560
Ta-ta, Beans. Good night.
100
00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,280
Where to now, Sloaney?
101
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,640
I am going to wait with you
for your cab,
102
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,280
and then I'm going home.
103
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,400
Listen, Sloanes, you don't think
I'm making a big mistake
104
00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:59,080
getting married again, do you?
105
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,160
Look, I just...
I just want you to be happy, mate.
106
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:05,480
Although I think you have a problem
with the "forsaking all others" business.
107
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,960
Yeah, I know, I know.
But, the way I see it,
108
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,080
when Nancy went from being
my girlfriend to being my wife,
109
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,160
that left the girlfriend
position wide open.
110
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,200
So I was trust trying
to fill a vacancy.
111
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:18,360
I mean, you stayed true
to Janet all those years, and look where it got you!
112
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,960
I know. I mean, look, it's very
complex. Janet and I... Ooh!
113
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,240
Sorry, right back.
114
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:26,880
Where are you going?
115
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,800
Ahh! Oh, not in the street!
116
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,640
Well, where would you
have me go, then?
117
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,840
Go inside and use the toilet!
No, I'll miss my cab then.
118
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,360
Oh, is that him?
119
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,120
Oh! Oh, shit, sorry!
120
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,960
Shit! Sorry, mate.
Oh, you bloody animal, Reggie.
121
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,880
That was an accident! Oh, my God.
What?
122
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:51,520
Dear God! Get a grip, man!
Knocked my bloody glasses off.
123
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,000
You can wait for your own bloomin'
cab now. Oh, yeah, all right.
124
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,800
I actually feel much better now.
See you tomorrow, yeah?
125
00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,520
Oh, my God!
126
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,600
Oh, that stinks.
127
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,160
What have I sunk to? What's this?
128
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,040
Where are they?
129
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,840
Are you looking for these?
130
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,840
Hmm?
131
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,520
Oh, my glasses!
132
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,920
Thank you so much. You are an angel.
133
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,400
Robin?
134
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,200
Sorry, do I know you?
135
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:31,320
Yes! It's Jeremy!
136
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,200
Jeremy Sloane, from the ironmongers.
137
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:36,880
From the what? From the hardware
shop, the hardware store.
138
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,680
Oh, right! The awful smell?
139
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,720
Yes, yes! I mean, again,
that wasn't me, but...
140
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,600
Weren't you supposed to fix
my faucet?
141
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,360
Yes, I was coming over to your place
but then I, I had a little accident.
142
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,760
Yeah, I guess
you have a lot of those.
143
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:54,080
Oh, no, this is all my mate
Reggie's handiwork.
144
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,840
Your friend peed and barfed on you?
145
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,960
Yeah. We were having a stag do.
146
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:02,720
OK, I don't know what a stag do is,
but it sure sounds like fun.
147
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,800
Were you in the pub just now?
148
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:10,760
No, er, I was just down the block
having coffee with a friend.
149
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,880
Coffee! Ha!
150
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,680
OK, well,
it was nice seeing you again.
151
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:21,040
Yeah, yeah.
I'll see you around, yeah?
152
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,320
No, that's OK.
153
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,000
That's OK.
154
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,880
Sorry.
155
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,760
H-have you got your tap sorted yet?
156
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:45,240
Excuse me? Sorry,
have you fixed your faucet?
157
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:48,520
Oh, er, yeah,
but now another one's leaking.
158
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,040
Do you want to try again, maybe?
159
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,680
Like when?
160
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:57,720
Well, I could come by tomorrow after
I finish teaching, about half four?
161
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,680
Is half four 4:30 or 3:30?
162
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,600
Yeah, it's 4:30,
it's half AFTER four.
163
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,120
No more smells, or bodily functions?
164
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,600
Well...
165
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,880
yes, yes, I promise.
166
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,320
OK. 4:30.
167
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:18,240
W-what's your address?
35 Brunswick Street.
168
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:23,360
35... That's my age, easy.
169
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,800
Hey, Reg!
170
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,920
A pie? A pie! A pie, well done.
171
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,960
If I brought this pie into class
and we ate one quarter of it,
172
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,680
how many pieces of this pie
would we have left?
173
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,200
Luke? Three.
174
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,880
Yes, three. Well done.
175
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,200
So if we eat one quarter of the pie,
176
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,680
we would have three-quarters
of the pie remaining.
177
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,040
That's not true, sir.
Sorry, Kevin, why's that?
178
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,080
Because if Luke was in the same room
as the pie,
179
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,560
there'd be no pieces left
cos he'd eat them all!
180
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,600
That's enough.
Stop laughing, all of you.
181
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,840
Hang on!
182
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:03,920
Just...don't slam your desks.
183
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,120
We will pick this up next time,
all right?
184
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,880
At least no-one died today,
eh, Mr Sloane? Not yet, anyway.
185
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,320
(Smartarse.)
Luke, can I have a word?
186
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,760
Yes, sir. Listen...
187
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,360
you can't let them get to you,
all right?
188
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,320
They are bullies because they are
jealous that they're not as...
189
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,000
as bright as you.
Do you understand that?
190
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,080
Yes, sir.
191
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:29,080
Thank you. OK.
192
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,080
Good lad.
193
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,280
Good night, Mr Sloane. Good night.
194
00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:42,920
Kevin, Gerald.
195
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,440
As funny as you think it is
to bully others,
196
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,160
you're only embarrassing yourselves.
197
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,240
At the end of the day, it's the two
of you who end up looking foolish.
198
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:54,360
You're right, Mr Sloane.
We'll try to do better, Mr Sloane.
199
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,840
Very well. Have a good night.
200
00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,600
Goodbye, Mr Sloane.
Thanks for the talk. All right.
201
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:02,360
Good night.
202
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,280
Good night.
203
00:10:26,358 --> 00:10:30,078
Hello, Jeremy. Hello...
204
00:10:30,158 --> 00:10:32,638
I hope you don't think
I'm being too forward, but...
205
00:10:32,718 --> 00:10:35,398
we're both grown-ups, right?
206
00:10:35,478 --> 00:10:38,838
I mean, you and I
know why you're really here.
207
00:10:40,358 --> 00:10:43,078
You look like you've had a rough day.
208
00:10:43,158 --> 00:10:46,398
Why don't you come on inside
and I'll give you a nice...
209
00:10:47,758 --> 00:10:50,998
Oh, hi. Jeremy, right?
Yes, yes, that's right, yeah.
210
00:10:51,078 --> 00:10:53,358
I'm so sorry,
I forgot I had plans tonight.
211
00:10:53,438 --> 00:10:56,118
I was going to cancel with you,
but I didn't have your number. Oh.
212
00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:59,038
Oh, that's all right. I mean,
I can come back another time.
213
00:10:59,118 --> 00:11:02,478
Well, come in, take a look,
maybe it'll be quick.
214
00:11:02,558 --> 00:11:04,398
OK, sure, yeah.
215
00:11:05,918 --> 00:11:08,518
I have to put this eyelash on
before the glue dries.
216
00:11:08,598 --> 00:11:11,718
It'll just take a second. You don't
mind? No, no, no. Go right ahead.
217
00:11:11,798 --> 00:11:14,918
Take your coat off,
make yourself at home. OK, thank you.
218
00:11:14,998 --> 00:11:18,078
Well, huh. This is...
219
00:11:18,158 --> 00:11:21,118
It's a nice place. Oh, thanks,
but it's my friend Audrey's.
220
00:11:21,198 --> 00:11:24,398
She's modelling in Paris for three
months so she asked me to house-sit.
221
00:11:24,478 --> 00:11:26,318
I could never afford this.
222
00:11:26,398 --> 00:11:27,998
What time's your date?
223
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:29,598
Oh, it's not a date.
224
00:11:29,678 --> 00:11:32,278
I'm taking my friend to hear
classical music for her birthday.
225
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,158
Really? You don't get many people
our age who fancy classical.
226
00:11:35,238 --> 00:11:37,038
Oh, I don't fancy it at all.
227
00:11:37,118 --> 00:11:39,958
I'm strictly a rock'n'roll girl,
but Gayle likes it.
228
00:11:40,038 --> 00:11:43,438
You know, she's older, probably
your age. You might like her.
229
00:11:43,518 --> 00:11:45,438
But you're married, right?
230
00:11:45,518 --> 00:11:47,118
No, we're separated.
231
00:11:47,198 --> 00:11:48,958
Oh, I'm sorry.
232
00:11:49,038 --> 00:11:50,558
What are you going to hear?
233
00:11:50,638 --> 00:11:53,958
Siegfried someone?
I want to say Idol, Siegfried Idol?
234
00:11:54,038 --> 00:11:55,798
Oh, the Siegfried Idyll? That's it.
235
00:11:55,878 --> 00:11:58,598
Oh, yeah, Wagner. Very beautiful.
236
00:11:58,678 --> 00:12:00,798
It's one of my favourite pieces.
237
00:12:00,878 --> 00:12:03,838
Wagner? Really?
I thought he was like...
238
00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:07,878
Yeah, Ride Of The Valkyries.
239
00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:11,278
Same bloke, but the Siegfried Idyll,
it's very different, you know?
240
00:12:11,358 --> 00:12:13,958
It's...very romantic.
241
00:12:14,038 --> 00:12:15,958
Really? Ah.
242
00:12:17,918 --> 00:12:20,838
Anyway, show me to the leak
in your kitchen.
243
00:12:20,918 --> 00:12:23,118
Oh, this leak's in the bathroom.
244
00:12:24,598 --> 00:12:26,598
Right. Yep.
245
00:12:26,678 --> 00:12:31,198
Right there, in the faucet,
and now possibly underneath.
246
00:12:31,278 --> 00:12:33,038
Let me have a look.
247
00:12:33,118 --> 00:12:34,958
I just think that needs a washer.
248
00:12:35,038 --> 00:12:37,838
I might have the right one
in my, er, tool box.
249
00:12:37,918 --> 00:12:39,958
Let me have a look underneath,
if I may?
250
00:12:40,038 --> 00:12:42,278
Oh, erm, I should get that.
251
00:12:42,358 --> 00:12:44,998
It could be Gayle.
Yeah, yeah, go right ahead.
252
00:12:45,078 --> 00:12:46,878
Oh, yeah.
253
00:12:46,958 --> 00:12:48,878
Your classic U-bend.
254
00:12:48,958 --> 00:12:51,118
You've got to be kidding? What?
255
00:12:51,198 --> 00:12:53,678
So now you're a plumber,
come to fix a young girl's pipes?
256
00:12:53,758 --> 00:12:55,838
It's like something
straight out of a blue movie.
257
00:12:55,918 --> 00:12:58,398
What would you know about that?
She's half your age.
258
00:12:58,478 --> 00:12:59,838
She's nothing of the sort.
259
00:12:59,918 --> 00:13:04,038
I'm mid-30s, she's mid-20s.
She's at least...two-thirds my age.
260
00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:07,598
She's early 20s, and you're nearly
40. That is virtually half your age.
261
00:13:07,678 --> 00:13:09,638
And I thought you
were the maths teacher.
262
00:13:09,718 --> 00:13:12,998
Oh, look, just go away, will you?
Oh, that's right, you already did
263
00:13:13,078 --> 00:13:14,918
Well, that was Gayle.
264
00:13:14,998 --> 00:13:17,558
Looks like she's down with
stomach flu, so that's that.
265
00:13:17,638 --> 00:13:20,078
Oh, what a shame.
266
00:13:21,638 --> 00:13:23,838
Oh, goodness, I...
267
00:13:23,918 --> 00:13:26,078
I'm so sorry. That's OK.
Just set it anywhere. Yes.
268
00:13:27,798 --> 00:13:30,438
Good lord, I am so, so sorry.
That's OK.
269
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,478
It's OK. It's OK. No, no.
270
00:13:33,558 --> 00:13:35,518
Hey, look...
271
00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:37,758
this might sound kind of crazy,
272
00:13:37,838 --> 00:13:41,318
but since you like this Siegfried
thing so much, do you want to go?
273
00:13:41,398 --> 00:13:44,878
It's at the Coliseum at 5:30. Really?
274
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:48,118
Yeah. It would make me feel
less guilty about not being able to pay you much.
275
00:13:48,198 --> 00:13:50,198
Oh, I wasn't going to take
any money anyway.
276
00:13:50,278 --> 00:13:54,318
Well, if you want to go,
it means getting a move on. You can finish up here another time.
277
00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:56,198
That is so thoughtful of you.
278
00:13:56,278 --> 00:13:59,558
I might give my friend Ross a call,
see if he'd like to go.
279
00:14:00,918 --> 00:14:03,678
Oh... Well, OK.
280
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:07,038
Although he'd never make it in time.
Now, Reggie's closer... Excuse me.
281
00:14:07,118 --> 00:14:10,038
..but he'd rather put a stick
in his eye than listen to classical.
282
00:14:10,118 --> 00:14:12,918
I suppose I can find someone down
there who needs the other ticket.
283
00:14:12,998 --> 00:14:17,198
Sure. Well, look,
I hate to leave a job unfinished,
284
00:14:17,278 --> 00:14:19,678
but, if you'd like,
I could come back tomorrow, maybe?
285
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:22,318
No problem. Fantastic.
286
00:14:22,398 --> 00:14:24,398
Did you come here
straight from school?
287
00:14:24,478 --> 00:14:27,758
I did, why? Just...curious. OK.
288
00:14:29,398 --> 00:14:32,798
Huh! The Siegfried Idyll, wow.
A-amazing!
289
00:14:32,878 --> 00:14:34,838
Thank you, thank you so much.
290
00:14:34,918 --> 00:14:36,998
You're quite welcome.
291
00:14:37,078 --> 00:14:39,598
I just hope I can find
someone to use the other ticket.
292
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:41,678
OK. Bye.
293
00:14:41,758 --> 00:14:43,358
Bye!
294
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:56,598
Unless...you'd want to go?
295
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:59,278
Huh! Interesting thought.
296
00:14:59,358 --> 00:15:00,998
You don't have to, I just...
297
00:15:01,078 --> 00:15:04,478
Why not? I'm all dressed up anyway.
298
00:15:04,558 --> 00:15:06,158
Let me go get my purse.
299
00:15:07,918 --> 00:15:09,718
Brilliant.
300
00:15:12,318 --> 00:15:15,838
"Siegfried Idyll"
by Wagner
301
00:15:21,158 --> 00:15:23,438
It's very beautiful.
302
00:15:23,518 --> 00:15:25,198
Very evocative.
303
00:15:25,278 --> 00:15:27,238
Evocative?
304
00:15:27,318 --> 00:15:29,438
Makes you think.
305
00:15:29,518 --> 00:15:32,798
Right.
So what are you thinking about?
306
00:15:32,878 --> 00:15:35,198
I'm thinking that I feel bad
that I didn't finish the job
307
00:15:35,278 --> 00:15:37,758
in your bathroom.
Wow, that's heavy
308
00:15:37,838 --> 00:15:39,718
Ssh!
309
00:15:43,158 --> 00:15:45,598
It shouldn't take too long.
I just have to stick a washer in.
310
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,438
Well, you're welcome
to come by tomorrow.
311
00:15:47,518 --> 00:15:50,798
Or, I mean,
if you want, I could come by...
312
00:15:50,878 --> 00:15:52,998
..and stick it in tonight?
313
00:16:02,118 --> 00:16:04,038
I always thought Wagner was a Nazi.
314
00:16:04,118 --> 00:16:06,638
Nazi? No, no.
He lived in the 19th century.
315
00:16:06,718 --> 00:16:10,878
Anti-Semite? Sadly, yes.
Also, Hitler was a big fan,
316
00:16:10,958 --> 00:16:14,318
so he doesn't exactly chart
highly on the Jewish hit parade.
317
00:16:16,598 --> 00:16:18,558
Oh, thank you. Cheers.
Let me cover my share.
318
00:16:18,638 --> 00:16:20,958
No, no, no, no.
I'm sorry, young lady,
319
00:16:21,038 --> 00:16:23,238
your money is no good here.
320
00:16:23,318 --> 00:16:26,358
Well, thank you.
I'll get the next one.
321
00:16:26,438 --> 00:16:27,998
Next one?
322
00:16:28,078 --> 00:16:30,958
Yeah, I like the sound of that.
323
00:16:31,038 --> 00:16:33,958
Excuse me, I'm just going to
use the, er, gents.
324
00:16:34,038 --> 00:16:36,958
Oh, I think it's ladies and gents,
so be sure to knock.
325
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:39,958
What is the world coming to?
326
00:16:40,038 --> 00:16:41,998
My bloody dad would
turn in his grave.
327
00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:58,398
Come on, people!
328
00:16:58,478 --> 00:17:00,398
The job's not done until you flush.
329
00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:06,398
No, no, no, no.
330
00:17:06,478 --> 00:17:09,118
A bloody floater!
331
00:17:21,078 --> 00:17:22,838
What are you made of? Wood?
332
00:17:24,678 --> 00:17:26,518
Yeah...
333
00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:29,958
..just a minute!
334
00:17:32,358 --> 00:17:35,958
"Ride Of The Valkyries"
by Wagner
335
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:40,398
Argh!
336
00:17:43,918 --> 00:17:45,558
Ugh!
337
00:17:47,838 --> 00:17:50,318
Come on! Get it in!
338
00:17:55,438 --> 00:17:57,998
Argh!
339
00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,878
Seconds... Seconds away!
340
00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:01,798
I give up.
341
00:18:05,758 --> 00:18:08,278
I thought you'd fallen in.
342
00:18:08,358 --> 00:18:09,838
No.
343
00:18:11,118 --> 00:18:13,478
Excuse me.
344
00:18:13,558 --> 00:18:16,678
I'll just...be a..second.
345
00:18:19,278 --> 00:18:20,918
Ow!
346
00:18:30,758 --> 00:18:33,318
Well, er, thank you for the tickets.
347
00:18:33,398 --> 00:18:36,318
It...made a nice change of pace
from the pub.
348
00:18:36,398 --> 00:18:39,718
Well, thank you for bringing me.
You're welcome.
349
00:18:39,798 --> 00:18:42,358
Do you want me to come in
and tighten up your tap?
350
00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:44,278
Oh, no, thanks. I'm really tired.
351
00:18:44,358 --> 00:18:46,558
Yeah, no, it's getting on a bit,
isn't it?
352
00:18:46,638 --> 00:18:50,158
Can you come by tomorrow?
Yeah, yeah. Round two, eh?
353
00:18:50,238 --> 00:18:52,718
Around 2:00 is fine.
354
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,998
No, I meant like a boxing match,
355
00:18:56,078 --> 00:18:57,838
tonight was round one,
and tomorrow's...
356
00:18:57,918 --> 00:19:00,318
..round two.
357
00:19:00,398 --> 00:19:04,598
But, yes, also, around...
around 2:00 is fine.
358
00:19:04,678 --> 00:19:06,958
See you, then, Jeremy.
359
00:19:07,038 --> 00:19:09,118
Good night.
360
00:19:10,838 --> 00:19:12,758
Hey, it's Sloane, right?
361
00:19:12,838 --> 00:19:16,478
Yes, yes, with an 'e' at the end,
like Sloane Square.
362
00:19:16,558 --> 00:19:20,318
OK. Good night, Mr Sloane.
Good night.
363
00:19:39,558 --> 00:19:42,158
Hello, Robin.
I'm terribly sorry to disturb you,
364
00:19:42,238 --> 00:19:45,398
but there...there's something
I need to tell you.
365
00:19:45,478 --> 00:19:46,878
What?
366
00:19:46,958 --> 00:19:49,598
What you saw at the cafe,
it wasn't me.
367
00:19:49,678 --> 00:19:51,118
What wasn't you?
368
00:19:51,198 --> 00:19:53,678
You're going to make me say it,
aren't you?
369
00:19:53,758 --> 00:19:55,638
Hmm. The...
370
00:19:55,718 --> 00:19:57,598
(The floater.)
371
00:19:57,678 --> 00:19:58,998
Floater?
372
00:19:59,078 --> 00:20:00,758
The poo floating in the toilet.
373
00:20:00,838 --> 00:20:03,958
It wasn't mine,
it was already there when I went in.
374
00:20:04,038 --> 00:20:08,158
I-I tried to flush it,
but it just, it wouldn't submit!
375
00:20:08,238 --> 00:20:11,718
You must have seen it when you
went to use the toilet. I just...
376
00:20:11,798 --> 00:20:15,558
I didn't want you
to think I was responsible.
377
00:20:16,878 --> 00:20:19,438
Jeremy, I just went to the bathroom
to wash my hands.
378
00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:21,078
I didn't use the toilet.
379
00:20:22,358 --> 00:20:26,038
Right. But thanks for bringing
all this to my attention.
380
00:20:27,998 --> 00:20:30,638
Good night. Good night.
381
00:20:30,718 --> 00:20:32,278
Thank you.
382
00:20:34,598 --> 00:20:37,158
Well, look, at least
she won't associate you
383
00:20:37,238 --> 00:20:39,718
with the fart in the tool shop
any more!
384
00:20:39,798 --> 00:20:42,678
Yeah, or being covered in piss
and vomit in an alleyway!
385
00:20:44,398 --> 00:20:48,078
Yeah, now she'll associate you with
a big floating shit in the toilet!
386
00:20:48,158 --> 00:20:51,558
That poor girl will probably
wake up in the middle of the night screaming.
387
00:20:51,638 --> 00:20:53,598
Well, thank you
for all your sympathy.
388
00:20:53,678 --> 00:20:55,318
That reminds me...
389
00:20:55,398 --> 00:20:58,278
Thank you for your engagement card.
Very funny.
390
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,798
What did it say? Well, you know,
391
00:20:59,878 --> 00:21:02,318
"With deepest sympathies
for your loss.
392
00:21:02,398 --> 00:21:05,998
"I offer you prayers of strength
in your time of need."
393
00:21:06,078 --> 00:21:08,118
That's very funny, actually. Yeah.
394
00:21:08,198 --> 00:21:10,398
Wait, that's not what I wrote.
395
00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:13,078
Yeah, bloody well is. Are you sure?
Yeah.
396
00:21:17,918 --> 00:21:20,478
Oh, dear God!
397
00:21:29,558 --> 00:21:32,838
"Dear Wanker, take a good look
at these fat bangers,
398
00:21:32,918 --> 00:21:35,718
"cos you definitely won't be
seeing anything like them again.
399
00:21:35,798 --> 00:21:38,118
"It couldn't happen
to a more deserving man.
400
00:21:38,198 --> 00:21:39,958
"Yours, Sloane."
401
00:21:41,158 --> 00:21:44,078
Jesus!
402
00:21:45,198 --> 00:21:49,158
'Directory enquiries.' I need the
number of a Mr Sloane in Watford.
403
00:21:49,238 --> 00:21:51,798
'Is that Sloane
with or without an 'e'?'
404
00:21:51,878 --> 00:21:54,758
I don't know! I-I can't remember.
405
00:21:54,838 --> 00:21:57,118
'Sir, there are numerous Sloanes
in the Watford area.
406
00:21:57,198 --> 00:21:58,718
'Do you have a first name?'
407
00:21:58,798 --> 00:22:02,318
No, I don't have a first name.
It's Sloane.
408
00:22:02,398 --> 00:22:04,198
Do you hear me? Sloane!
409
00:22:07,558 --> 00:22:09,878
'Sir, we do not take kindly
to nuisance calls
410
00:22:09,958 --> 00:22:12,398
'and will not hesitate
to discontinue your service
411
00:22:12,478 --> 00:22:14,638
'if you choose
to make a habit of this.'
412
00:22:16,198 --> 00:22:18,518
Oh, well.
What's the worst that can happen?
413
00:22:18,598 --> 00:22:20,238
Who wants another round?
414
00:22:23,678 --> 00:22:26,998
And are you still looking for
full-time employment? Yes, yeah.
415
00:22:27,078 --> 00:22:30,358
So, do you ever get high?
High? (Marijuana.)
416
00:22:30,438 --> 00:22:32,398
No.
417
00:22:32,478 --> 00:22:34,798
My mind has a mind of its own.
418
00:22:34,878 --> 00:22:37,398
I got him that job interview.
You'll give him a black coffee,
419
00:22:37,478 --> 00:22:39,918
and drag his formidable bum
up there right away.
420
00:22:39,998 --> 00:22:41,838
Are you OK? How fast are we going?
421
00:22:41,918 --> 00:22:43,918
Are you all right, Mr Sloane?
422
00:22:43,998 --> 00:22:46,958
Yes, absolutely fine.
423
00:22:47,038 --> 00:22:49,638
Would it be crazy
if I told you I think I love you?
424
00:23:05,478 --> 00:23:08,478
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425
00:23:08,558 --> 00:23:11,518
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426
00:23:11,568 --> 00:23:16,118
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