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1
00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:05,875
[bell rings]
2
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:07,007
- Good show.
- You too, bud.
3
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,225
- Yes, it was.
4
00:00:08,269 --> 00:00:09,357
We've already gotten
some great feedback
5
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,185
on that "Five Stars to Watch"
segment.
6
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:12,490
Nice work.
- Oh, good.
7
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:13,796
I thought people might be mad
8
00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:15,450
when they found out
we meant astronomy stars.
9
00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:16,538
- [chuckles]
10
00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,105
- Honestly,
I didn't even realize
11
00:00:18,148 --> 00:00:19,367
what we were talking about
until the end of the segment.
12
00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:21,021
- Tomorrow we have that donut
taste test
13
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,414
and then Katt Williams' brother
Paul is bringing in his cat
14
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:24,589
who looks like his brother.
15
00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:25,764
- Again?
16
00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:27,505
Mika, where do you find
this garbage?
17
00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,507
Do you just turn off
your spam filter
18
00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:31,901
or are these just, like,
random DMs?
19
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:34,556
- Is it in the DMs?
[laughter]
20
00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:36,993
[clears throat]
Come on, Pam.
21
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,516
Stop being so mean.
- What?
22
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,692
- Mika's just giving the people
what they want.
23
00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:42,172
She knows
that they love this stuff.
24
00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:43,565
- Thank you.
25
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:45,088
And Friday, we shoot that piece
about that waiter
26
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,307
who can only walk backwards.
27
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,525
- Oh, now, you know what?
28
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:48,874
I'm actually excited
to check that out.
29
00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,485
- At Millie's Counter.
- Ooh, love that place.
30
00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:52,530
- Uh, I'm sorry.
31
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:55,142
I didn't--I didn't know that
that was at Millie's Counter.
32
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:56,839
- Yeah, is that a problem?
33
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:58,797
- No, I don't want to do that.
We're gonna slip it.
34
00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:00,625
- What?
Kenan, why?
35
00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:03,541
- Um, because.
36
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:04,847
Pam has a point.
37
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:06,501
You know, our segments
are getting too soft.
38
00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:07,893
- No, I was just
messing around.
39
00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:09,286
We can't skip Millie's.
40
00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:11,071
Their crab cakes make me horny.
41
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,724
- All right.
42
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,378
- Plus, you just said that
that's what the people want.
43
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,119
- I did, didn't I?
- Mm-hmm.
44
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:18,600
- But it's what they want
45
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,558
because we're not offering them
anything better.
46
00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:22,734
We gotta stop spoon-feeding
the masses
47
00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:25,563
and challenge them
with hard news.
48
00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:27,783
- Kenan, I worked in hard news
for ten years
49
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,045
and it's a miserable life.
50
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,307
- But it's important.
51
00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:31,569
I mean, how else are people
gonna find out
52
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:33,180
that they got lead
in their water?
53
00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:35,007
Or a councilman
is trading city permits
54
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,313
for Rascal Flatts tickets.
55
00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:37,488
- Hold up.
I missed a Flatts show?
56
00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:38,663
- I knew you'd like stuff
like that.
57
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:39,882
- Mm.
- Okay, look, Kenan.
58
00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,013
What is really going on here?
59
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:43,190
- Enlightenment, Mika.
I mean, come on.
60
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,452
Be honest with yourself.
61
00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:45,583
Don't you ever get embarrassed
62
00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,150
by all this dumb stuff
we cover?
63
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:50,066
Don't you think
we can do better?
64
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,765
♪ I think we can all do better
together ♪
65
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:54,853
- Mm.
- Bye!
66
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,814
- You wanna get
some crab cakes?
67
00:01:58,857 --> 00:01:59,945
- What?
- Yeah.
68
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:02,948
[funky upbeat music]
69
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:05,603
♪
70
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,519
- Uh, bro.
What's going on, man?
71
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:09,955
Mika said you was
throwing a fit
72
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,043
about going to Millie's Counter
73
00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:12,044
'cause you wanna be
74
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:13,002
a serious news guy now?
75
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,046
How, sir?
76
00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:15,004
You don't even know
77
00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:16,136
all the damn states.
78
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:17,485
- Excuse me. I knowall the good ones.
79
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:19,400
- There's one good one.
80
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:20,923
Florida.
- Mm-hmm.
81
00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,881
Okay, so this has nothing
to do with the fact
82
00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:24,535
that Millie's Counter
was Cori's favorite restaurant?
83
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:26,842
- Was it? [sputters] Huh.
84
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,191
I'm not too familiar
with that restaurant.
85
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,932
- Really?
86
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:31,368
Because you have their barbecue
sauce in your hand right now.
87
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:32,500
- What? Look at--
88
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:33,805
how did this even get in here?
89
00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:34,893
Man, I have no idea.
90
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,504
- Yeah-huh you do.
91
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:39,071
Mom used to steal a bottle
every time we went to Millie's.
92
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:40,203
- Yeah, well, if they soldthe sauce,
93
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,248
then she wouldn't have
94
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,336
to steal it, all right?
95
00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:43,380
You shouldn't call your mothera thief.
96
00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:44,599
- Whoa, okay.- I'm sorry.
97
00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:45,643
I don't know where
all that came from.
98
00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:47,297
- It was all in the throat,
too.
99
00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:49,343
- Wow, I had no idea Cori had
that same outlaw streak as me.
100
00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:50,735
- Okay, hey, hey,
101
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:51,954
let's just be careful
with this, all right?
102
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:54,086
We only got 21 bottles left.
103
00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:56,088
- 21?
That's a lot of bottles.
104
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:58,700
- But look, I'm makingprogress, right?
105
00:02:58,743 --> 00:03:00,484
I talked about Mom on the show.
106
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,051
So there's one tiny,
little restaurant
107
00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:04,445
that I don't want to go to
because it reminds me of her.
108
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:05,620
What's the big whoop?
109
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:06,925
- No, Daddy.
110
00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:08,100
You know that's not
the only place you avoid.
111
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:09,450
You won't go to the post office
112
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,147
'cause you say,
"Mail felt like Mom's thing."
113
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,367
- You also won't sit in the
green chair in the den because
114
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,064
"That's where Cori used to sit
115
00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:16,413
"and pretend to read so she can
116
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:17,545
get the girls to like books."
117
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:19,460
- Wait, so Mom would rather
118
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,331
stare at a book for hours
119
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:22,898
than actually read it?
120
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:25,857
Swag.- [chuckles]
121
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:28,033
- Yeah, you won't even let us
go through her closet.
122
00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:29,034
- That's because there's
123
00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:30,035
grown woman stuff in there,
124
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,428
all right?
- Mm-hmm.
125
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,256
- Okay, honestly, there's a lot
126
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,432
of memories everywhere.
127
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:36,955
And I don't want to be sad,
128
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:38,000
so I just don't go digging
129
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:38,914
around in the past, all right?
130
00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,220
- Amen, brother.
131
00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:41,351
All this new "processing
132
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,266
your emotions" crap is crap.
133
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,572
- Thank you, Rick.
134
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:45,790
Feels good to be on the page
135
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:46,835
as you for once.
136
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:47,792
I mean, it's terrifying,
137
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:48,837
but it's nice.
138
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:49,881
- All right, look at me.
139
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,318
Four divorces,
two bankruptcies,
140
00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:52,580
never been to therapy once.
141
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:54,059
Heck, when I was eight,
142
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,060
I watched a firecracker explode
143
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,366
in my uncle's shorts.
144
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:57,541
- Okay, stop the story.
- Kinda singed the--
145
00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,021
- Stop the story there.
- Yep.
146
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,327
Just listen to your brother.
147
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:01,545
You talked about Cori
148
00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:02,894
and you felt good, all right?
149
00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:04,200
That's a nice step.
150
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,375
Now let's start small.
151
00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:06,463
Maybe another step
152
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:07,725
and go through her closet.
153
00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:08,857
- Mm-mm.
154
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,989
- Don't be scared.
155
00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:12,774
- Pfft. I am not scared.
156
00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:14,036
- No?
157
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:15,080
- You want me to go through
Cori's closet?
158
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,473
- Yeah.
159
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:17,387
- I will go through
Cori's closet all day, son.
160
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:18,388
- All day, son?
- All day.
161
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:19,781
- Well, today is the day.
162
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,609
We're going through
your mama's closet, y'all!
163
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:22,784
- Hey, yo!
- Yeah!
164
00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:24,133
- Hold up.
- Closet dance!
165
00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:25,395
- Yeah, homey.
166
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:28,920
[overlapping excited chatter]
167
00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:30,835
- So you meant now?
168
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,185
- Wow.
169
00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,883
[knock at door]
- Hey, boss.
170
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,232
For the rat race skit,
171
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,755
do you want me in a suit
and tie or just the rats?
172
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,322
- Uh, yeah.
173
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:40,715
- What's up?
Are you okay?
174
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:43,152
- Yeah, just reliving
my hard news days.
175
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:44,893
That one spoken for?
176
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:47,156
- No.
- Thanks.
177
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,114
- Mm?
- Hot water and salt.
178
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:50,377
Really flushes you out.
179
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,856
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
180
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,380
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.
181
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,772
- Do you think our segments
are too soft?
182
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:57,253
- [laughing]
What? No way.
183
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,777
I think our segments and our
lighting could be softer.
184
00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:00,952
Why?
185
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:01,953
- I don't know,
Kenan got me thinking
186
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,607
that maybe we have
a responsibility
187
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:05,130
to educate our audience
with harder news.
188
00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:08,264
- The only responsibility
we have is to entertain.
189
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,005
The world doesn't need
more shows
190
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,442
telling people the importance
of voting or vaccines
191
00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:14,052
or science or seat belts.
192
00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:15,402
- Okay, thank you.
193
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:16,490
You really helped me realize
what I need to do.
194
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:17,795
- Stop worrying
about hard news?
195
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,275
- Oh, God, no.
196
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,408
The world needs real journalism
now more than ever.
197
00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,018
[laughter and chatter]
198
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:25,803
- Hey, look at this.
Cori's signature perfume.
199
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:27,849
- "Rejection"
by Jennifer Aniston?
200
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,764
- Yeah. I can't believe
she agreed to that name.
201
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:31,418
But it is a nice fragrance.
- Yeah.
202
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:33,376
- Oh, look at this.
203
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,857
Y'all remember your mama's
tube top phase?
204
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,033
Nobody could make a thot shirt
look classier
205
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:39,251
more than your mama.
206
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,515
- Hey, Mom's old church hat.
- Oh, yeah.
207
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,038
I love this hat.
208
00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:44,822
It always reminded me
of something
209
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:46,998
Jaden Smith
would eventually wear.
210
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,609
I'ma icon livin'.
211
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,654
- That thing ruined a lot
of people's view of Jesus.
212
00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:51,960
- Amen.
- [chuckles]
213
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,657
- I cannot believe
I was so freaked out
214
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:55,137
about coming in here.
215
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,879
It's actually nice remembering
all this stuff.
216
00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,359
Hey, Rick.
217
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,709
Look, Cori kept all her old
scratchers just like you.
218
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:05,016
- Really?
[chuckles]
219
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:08,629
I remember buying her first one
for her sixth birthday.
220
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:11,414
You know, I didn't think she
took after me that much
221
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:12,502
because I was on the road
all the time,
222
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,243
but it's nice to know
223
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:16,811
that she appreciated the thrill
of the scratch just like Daddy.
224
00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:18,290
- Yeah, that's nice to know
225
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,205
that my wife was a degenerate
gambler just like you.
226
00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:21,685
[chuckling]
227
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,339
Oh, my goodness.
Look at her headshots.
228
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,429
Girls, look at her headshots.
I forgot about these.
229
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,388
- She was so pretty.
- Oh, man.
230
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:29,519
- Yeah, she used to say
231
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,260
she looked
"Naomi-in-the-'90s thin."
232
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:32,435
- Yeah, she killin 'it.
233
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:33,958
- 'Cause she just had
food poisoning.
234
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,830
- Maybe it's not the worst
thing in the world
235
00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,005
to reminisce a little bit.
236
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,485
- Wait a minute.
237
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:41,792
This says this
is a restraining order.
238
00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:44,534
Against Cori.
- What?
239
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:47,015
[soft dramatic music]
240
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:48,843
- All right, uh, girls,
Daddy's cured.
241
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,148
Why don't you go do
your homework?
242
00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:51,411
- We just finished.
243
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:52,499
- Well, then go get ready
for dinner.
244
00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:53,543
- We just had lunch.
245
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:55,197
What's a straining order?
246
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:56,981
- Get somewhere that's not in
here before I tickle you both.
247
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,548
- Okay!
248
00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:00,028
- I told you
249
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:02,378
I did not want to go digging
around in the past, Gary.
250
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,901
Now I gotta live forever
251
00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:06,426
knowing that my wife kept
some dark secret from me.
252
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:07,905
Thanks a lot.
253
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,080
- I was just trying
to be helpful.
254
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:11,431
- Gary, men have
a time-honored tradition
255
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,258
of how they deal with things.
256
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:15,435
They don't.
257
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:18,438
♪
258
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:19,569
- [sniffs]
Hmm.
259
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:23,660
- Uh, hey, man.
You okay?
260
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:24,748
- Yeah, I'm good, man.
261
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,054
You know,
just getting my steps.
262
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,055
- Okay, so you don't want
to talk about that--
263
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,404
- Talk about what?
264
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,797
How all this walking is gonna
have me snatched?
265
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,277
Or that I found a restraining
order against my wife
266
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,671
from some guy named
Ron Sherman-Willis?
267
00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:37,239
- Are we sure that's a person
and not a paint store?
268
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:39,067
- I cannot believe this.
269
00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:41,199
We weren't supposed
to have any secrets.
270
00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:43,158
Why did this guy
and Cori have beef?
271
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,073
And why did the courts
get involved?
272
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:46,901
And why are you wearing
her church hat again?
273
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:48,555
- 'Cause I'm trying
to keep it light.
274
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:49,686
- No!
- No?
275
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:50,948
- No, back to plan A.
276
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,341
I'm just gonna swallow
all these feelings
277
00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,169
of anger and confusion and fear
278
00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:55,910
and with a little luck,
hopefully it won't manifest
279
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:57,041
into heart disease.
280
00:07:57,085 --> 00:07:58,869
Gary, get out of my way.
281
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,218
Eh!
282
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:03,091
Ha!
You see?
283
00:08:03,134 --> 00:08:04,266
It's like it never happened.
284
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:07,225
- Amen, brother.
- Back to my life.
285
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:09,097
- All right, I know you guys
are wondering
286
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,490
why I called
this last-minute meeting.
287
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:11,882
- Are we getting
an office dog?
288
00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:13,014
- [gasps]
- Ah?
289
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,755
- Okay, see,
this is our problem.
290
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:17,105
Our show only cares
about frivolous stuff.
291
00:08:17,148 --> 00:08:18,846
- A dog is frivolous now?
292
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,282
They're the only moral cops.
293
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,502
- Guys, we're called
"Wake Up With Kenan."
294
00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,939
We need to wake up to what's
happening in the world.
295
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,549
- Lame!
- Really, Pam?
296
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:27,985
You're the one who,
this morning,
297
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,291
said we're making
a bunch of trash.
298
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,728
- I only mean
half the things I say.
299
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,469
That's the fun of Pam!
300
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,297
- Yeah, but you were right,
though.
301
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:37,212
All right?
So real news stories only.
302
00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:38,648
Come on, pitch me.
- I can talk about
303
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,781
climate change
like I do at parties,
304
00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:42,260
but it gets bleak.
305
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:43,784
Immediately.
- Ooh, ooh!
306
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,437
How about a serious news story
307
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,744
about the health benefits
of an office dog?
308
00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:49,703
- What kind do we have?
I like poodles.
309
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,661
- What?
- People writing this down?
310
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:58,668
♪
311
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:03,934
- [groans]
312
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:10,375
♪
313
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:11,986
Damn it!
314
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:14,162
Gentlemen, now that I've seen
this restraining order,
315
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:15,685
I can't get it out of my head.
316
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,774
And I won't be able to until we
get to the bottom of it.
317
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,776
- What happened to pretending
it didn't happen?
318
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,822
- It's my "can't stop
won't stop" personality.
319
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,824
It's why we don't keep Pizza
Pringles in the house.
320
00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:25,390
- Let it go, man.
321
00:09:25,434 --> 00:09:27,305
There's nothing that drinking
alone in the dark
322
00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:28,655
for a few hours can't cure.
323
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:31,396
- I need to know why
this Ron Sherman-Willis
324
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,182
would file a restraining
order against my sweet Cori.
325
00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:35,662
Come on, no bad ideas.
Let's go.
326
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:36,837
- Oh!
327
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,186
Maybe she broke
in the dude's property
328
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:39,361
to feed his deers.
329
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:40,971
That woman love deers.
330
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:42,016
- Okay, yeah, deers.
331
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,234
- Are you writing that down
332
00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:44,671
so that he can look
at how dumb it is?
333
00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:45,672
- Ooh, I got another one.
334
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,108
What if she was caught
335
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:48,065
jumping on the neighbor's
trampoline?
336
00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:49,240
both: That was you.
337
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:50,415
- Well, them jerk kids
don't use it.
338
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:51,895
It's just sitting there.
- Come on, Gary.
339
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:52,983
These are all terrible.
340
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,245
It's like your only idea
341
00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,682
was saying all
of your bad ideas.
342
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:58,032
- Because I didn't want to say
what I really think.
343
00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,468
- Which is what?
- I don't know.
344
00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:00,512
I said--did I say
that out loud?
345
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:01,644
- No, no, no.
Come on, tell me.
346
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:02,819
- No, I ain't got
nothing to say, man.
347
00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:04,038
- No, no.
Come on, tell me.
348
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,213
- I think it's an affair
gone wrong, okay!
349
00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:06,867
I'm sorry.
- What?
350
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,608
No.
351
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:09,870
No!
352
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,088
Come on, now.
353
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:12,263
No, we're moving on to Rick.
354
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:13,613
Rick, what do you think?
355
00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:16,354
Rick?
356
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,490
Rick, you don't think
Gary is right do you?
357
00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:23,448
- I don't know, man.
I mean, look.
358
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:26,364
Before today, I had no idea
how much Cori took after me.
359
00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:28,236
But seeing her love
of the five-finger discount,
360
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:30,542
and gambling,
the light wash jeans,
361
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,849
it's clear, she's my mini me.
362
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:35,678
Everybody knows
I've got a wandering...
363
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:36,897
everything.
364
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,638
Sorry, Kenan.
365
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,249
- No.
Nope!
366
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:43,251
No, she was not
that kind of person.
367
00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:45,209
- I feel bad about it, Kenan.
368
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:47,298
But on the bright side,
it's nice knowing
369
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:49,692
that despite our sometimes
strange relationship,
370
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,303
the father-daughter bond--it's
not about me.
371
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,392
- Come on.
Cori would not have cheated!
372
00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:56,264
Her celebrity hall pass
was me!
373
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,962
All right, you know what?
I'll prove it.
374
00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:00,485
Yeah, I got this loser's
address.
375
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:01,661
All right?
[laughs]
376
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:02,879
Call it a setup.
377
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,141
Let's go pay him a visit.
378
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:06,013
- Ooh!
Road trip!
379
00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:07,275
[chuckles]
380
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:09,973
- Help me up.
A little help?
381
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,280
Here we go!
- There we go.
382
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:14,978
♪
383
00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:16,458
- I think this is it.
384
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,416
- Are you sure?
- Ooh, Ron Sherman-Willis?
385
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,853
More like Rich Sherman-Willis.
386
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,942
Pull up Zillow.
Zaddy needs a Zestimate--
387
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:23,204
- Shh!
388
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:24,292
Gary, my house
is bigger than this.
389
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:25,380
- Uh--
- Ha!
390
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:26,773
Yeah, whatever.
391
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,339
- I think there's somebody
in the garage.
392
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,298
Come on.
- Your house could fit
393
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:32,213
in this house.
They can't be the same size.
394
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:33,736
- Be quiet!
395
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,782
I just need to get
a good look at this guy.
396
00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:38,785
- [straining]
397
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:41,265
- Oh, no.
398
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,746
Kenan, he's beautiful.
- So what?
399
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,661
Just because he's built like
a "Mortal Kombat" character
400
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,402
doesn't mean he slept
with my wife.
401
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:50,187
- Yeah, but...
look at that picture up there.
402
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:53,887
- He's got a framed picture
of Cori?
403
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,758
- [grunting]
404
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,804
- Who's he fighting?
Several ghosts?
405
00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:58,935
[dog barking]
406
00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:01,111
- Oh, get up!
- Go!
407
00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:02,896
- Oh, my gosh.
408
00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:04,724
- Oh, Lord.
- Drive!
409
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:07,683
all: Aah!
410
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:08,945
[metal ting]
411
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,164
- Ow!
What was that?
412
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:11,339
- I don't know.
- A house?
413
00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:12,993
- Go!
- Okay!
414
00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:14,385
[tires squeal]
415
00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:15,865
- Try to reverse!
- It's okay, I got this, y'all.
416
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,388
I got this.
- You're good, you're good.
417
00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:19,173
Oh, stop, stop.
Now crank it left.
418
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,870
No, no, no.
My left!
419
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,263
- My left is your left!
420
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,438
- Oh, you're right.
421
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:24,569
- I'm right, or crank it right?
422
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:27,007
- Yes.
- Just go!
423
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,008
[tires squeal]
424
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,139
- [yelps]
425
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:30,445
[dog barking]
426
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:33,840
[soft music]
427
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,319
- And we're late.
428
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,930
Lamont, I told you
I'm better than Waze.
429
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,496
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, Kenan.
430
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:39,976
You'll be happy to know
that we're starting the morning
431
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:41,978
with a very serious news story.
432
00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:43,327
- Why?
433
00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:45,112
- Uh, 'cause you reignited
my passion
434
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,374
for real journalism.
435
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,289
Starting today, we're covering
hard news.
436
00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:50,465
- Oh, yes.
Yeah, no, I love that.
437
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:51,640
Hard news.
- Yes.
438
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:52,597
- You know,
the harder the better.
439
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:55,296
- That's right.
Hey!
440
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,732
- Lamont.
- Lamont.
441
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,255
- [laughs]
- Heavy foot.
442
00:12:58,299 --> 00:12:59,909
- Wow.
Funny every time, Lamont.
443
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:01,563
- Call your parole officer.
- Okay.
444
00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:02,999
So you're gonna be
interviewing a guy
445
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:05,436
who says that someone
vandalized his American flag
446
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,003
and then scattered it
across his lawn.
447
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,439
- Oh, that's gonna be good,
448
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,963
'cause white people
be tripping about flag stuff
449
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:12,052
for no reason at all.
- You know it.
450
00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:14,228
♪
451
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:15,795
- Um...
- Oh, there he is now.
452
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:17,971
- Hi!
Are you here from the news?
453
00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,320
- Something in my eye.
454
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,891
- Glad you called.
455
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,196
So, what?
We kicking this guy's ass?
456
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,546
- No, we're not kicking
anybody's ass.
457
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:31,027
I'm interviewing our victim
458
00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:33,073
about the little felony
that we committed last night.
459
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,291
- What are you talking about
460
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:36,293
and why are we emphasizing
pronouns?
461
00:13:36,337 --> 00:13:37,729
- Come here.
462
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,776
You remember the little
24-point turn
463
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,908
that you did on Ron's lawn?
464
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,866
Well, we tore up
his American flag
465
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,128
and the man is a veteran!
466
00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:46,913
I think legally, he's allowed
to spank us now.
467
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:48,523
- Okay, look.
Don't worry about it.
468
00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:49,872
Just remember the three D's.
469
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:53,397
Deny, deflect, de--be--blame?
470
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:54,746
Dwayne?
D'Angelo?
471
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:55,835
No, that's a singer.
DaBaby.
472
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,053
- It's a rapper.
- Defrost?
473
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:58,141
- No, that's chicken.
- Yeah, you right.
474
00:13:58,185 --> 00:13:59,577
- Shut-de-hell up.
- Okay.
475
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:00,970
- Kenan?
We're ready for you.
476
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,363
- Terrific!
- Go get 'em.
477
00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:03,407
- It's-de-time.
478
00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:04,452
Nope.
479
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:07,063
[dramatic melody]
480
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:08,238
- I pledge allegiance
481
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,239
to the flag,
482
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:10,762
except we can't.
483
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:11,938
What a tragedy.
484
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,417
So tell me,
485
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,245
Ron Sherman-Willis--
486
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:16,986
if that's even your real name--
487
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:18,205
who would do such a thing?
488
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:20,816
My guess is a very
angry animal.
489
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,557
- Those are clearlytire tracks.
490
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:23,514
- [chuckles]
Well.
491
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:24,559
I didn't realize
492
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:25,603
that I was interviewing
493
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:26,691
Detective Elliot Stabler
494
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:27,692
over here!
495
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,346
Gong, gong.
496
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:30,391
That's obviously
497
00:14:30,434 --> 00:14:31,653
the work of a possum.
498
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:32,959
- Driving a--
499
00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:34,003
- Driving a Ford Festiva.
500
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:35,004
- What the hell is he doing?
501
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:36,005
- Trying to get to the truth.
502
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:37,398
- Oh, de-truth?
Nope.
503
00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:38,747
That's the opposite
of what we want.
504
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,053
- Why are you guys here?
505
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,489
- We're only getting
your side of the story.
506
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:43,317
We can't get the flag's
side of the story,
507
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,927
because she's no longer
with us.
508
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:46,798
- What--I'm sorry, what
are you talking about?
509
00:14:46,842 --> 00:14:49,018
- She's gone, Ron.
Okay?
510
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,628
You ever stop to think
511
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:51,803
that maybe you deserved this?
512
00:14:51,847 --> 00:14:53,022
For putting your flag pole
513
00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,632
where it didn't belong?
514
00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:55,807
- In my yard?
515
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:58,506
- You sure put it
in somebody's yard!
516
00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:01,204
[slow claps]
517
00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:02,814
- That was a really
good interview.
518
00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:04,686
- 100%.
519
00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:07,036
- I gotta go look in the car.
- Uh, car--we gonna go.
520
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:11,649
♪
521
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:12,912
[knocking]
522
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:15,262
- Hey, pal.
Quick question.
523
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:17,177
What in the hell was that?
524
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,222
- [sighs]
525
00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:21,616
Look, the real reason
I didn't want to go
526
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:25,620
to Millie's Counter is because
it reminded me of Cori.
527
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:28,057
And I just feel like there'd be
too many memories there.
528
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:31,843
So the hard news thing
was just an excuse.
529
00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:33,845
- Well, there goes a week
of my life.
530
00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,151
- I know.
I'm sorry.
531
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:36,761
- Follow-up question.
532
00:15:36,805 --> 00:15:38,024
What does any of that
have to do
533
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,851
with you freaking out
at that Ron guy?
534
00:15:39,895 --> 00:15:42,115
- Well, that's a longer story
involving a restraining order
535
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,987
and Gary backing up over the
man's flag multiple times.
536
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,424
- Wow.
- But the bottom line is, I--
537
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:49,209
I think he had
an affair with Cori.
538
00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:50,993
- What?
That's crazy.
539
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,212
Cori loved you.
540
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:53,778
She wouldn't even peep
the shirtless dues
541
00:15:53,822 --> 00:15:55,519
in every Tyler Perry movie.
542
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:57,565
Trust me, Kenan, she was
the sweetest person ever.
543
00:15:57,608 --> 00:16:00,655
- Yeah, but now I'll never
know know, you know?
544
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,440
And that little bit of doubt
has got me spinnin'!
545
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:04,876
And you know once I start
something, I can't stop.
546
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,052
- I know.
547
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,183
That's why we can't keep
Pizza Pringles
548
00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:08,358
in the break room anymore.
549
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,229
- Exactly.
550
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:10,404
- You know what?
[snaps]
551
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,014
Come on, let's go.
- What?
552
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,320
- We're gonna talk to Ron,
553
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:14,756
because whatever the truth is
554
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:15,757
is better than whatever
this is.
555
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:16,888
- Wait--now, wait a minute.
556
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:17,977
- Put it down.
You don't need it.
557
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,500
- I just poured.
That's a fresh one.
558
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:22,372
- All right, you got this.
Okay?
559
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:23,939
You got this.
560
00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:27,203
- [sighs]
561
00:16:27,247 --> 00:16:28,944
- You gonna--really?
562
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,772
Kenan--
563
00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:32,252
- I was gonna get to that!
564
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,255
- Yes?
- Hey, man.
565
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:37,213
I'm sorry, I just wanted
to come by and apologize
566
00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:38,998
about the interview earlier.
567
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,912
It kinda got away from me,
and, um,
568
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:43,045
I have to talk to you
about something kind of tough--
569
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,568
- Sorry, just hold
that thought.
570
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:45,656
Honey, come here!
571
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,397
You're not gonna believe
who's back.
572
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,051
So I didn't get a chance
to tell you
573
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,227
during the interview,
'cause, well--
574
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:52,185
- Yeah, we were there.
- Yeah.
575
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,970
- But I am your biggest fan!
576
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,406
- Really?
- Yeah.
577
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:58,626
- Well, thank you, man.
That's really cool of you.
578
00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,410
But I'm not really sure that
you're gonna want your wife
579
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:01,933
out here for this.
- My wife?
580
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:03,109
- [chuckles]
Sorry, you caught me
581
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:05,111
literally making bread
from scratch, hi.
582
00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:08,505
[laughs]
I'm Van, Ron's husband.
583
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:09,941
- Van!
584
00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:11,073
Mika!
- Mm-hmm.
585
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:12,248
- It's Van!
- Yeah.
586
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:14,076
- He's a man!
You're a man!
587
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,382
- I am.
- And you're m--
588
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,340
oh, my goodness, come here!
589
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:19,777
[laughs]
Look, you're never gonna--
590
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,127
this is crazy.
591
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:23,259
I thought that you
had an affair with my wife.
592
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,087
- What?
- [laughs]
593
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:26,132
Can you imagine?
594
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:27,394
- I know, right?
- Ridiculous!
595
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:30,440
- Just come back in.
Oh, so happy!
596
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:32,094
[crying]
597
00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,182
- What's happening?
598
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,271
- Unclear.
- [crying]
599
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:39,928
- Phew.
Thank you for that.
600
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:42,148
It has been
a rollercoaster of a week,
601
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:43,714
and year, for that matter.
602
00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:45,107
But when I saw you doing
603
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:47,109
Tae Bo in front of a picture
of my wife,
604
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,719
coupled with
the restraining order
605
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:50,721
and some really bad advice,
606
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:52,288
I jumped to a horrible
conclusion,
607
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:53,724
so, I'm sorry.
My bad.
608
00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:55,248
- Not a problem.
But, sorry,
609
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:59,295
how did you see the picture
of Cori in our garage?
610
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,863
- Well, you both said sorry,
so that's all that's important.
611
00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:03,256
- Yep.
- Shall we get to steppin'?
612
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:05,127
- Yes, we should.
- Yeah, and when did you see me
613
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:06,868
doing Tae Bo?
- I'm guessing all the time.
614
00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:08,391
You know, I mean,
look at your body.
615
00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:10,480
You look like you've been drawn
by a horny 7th grader.
616
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:11,829
- And who cares when stuff
happened, right?
617
00:18:11,873 --> 00:18:13,614
Timelines don't matter.
- I mean, look at her.
618
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:15,050
She's turned 29,
like, five times.
619
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,965
- But I am 29.
And it was twice.
620
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:18,619
- But you didn't sleep
with my wife, right?
621
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,011
So I don't even care
about the picture
622
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:21,448
or the restraining order.
Let's get on out of here.
623
00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:23,276
We good.
Thank you for the warm water.
624
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,321
Actually, I can't let this go
until I know everything.
625
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:28,107
And, by any chance,
do you have any Pizza Pringles?
626
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,197
Wow, look at this.
627
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,721
- NSYNC Celebrity Tour?
I was there for that.
628
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,810
- You guys are super
into the aughts, huh?
629
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,768
- Ron is an avid collector
of what I consider
630
00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:40,380
to be the bleakest moment
in pop culture history.
631
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:42,033
- [chuckles]
- Yeah.
632
00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:43,818
Well, I guess this explains why
you have a picture of Cori,
633
00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:46,864
but... why'd you have a
restraining order against her?
634
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:52,131
No way!
635
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:53,828
You know this is exact
kind of car
636
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,830
I used to drive
on "Grown Ass Little Boy"?
637
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:57,745
I always told myself I was
gonna buy myself one of these,
638
00:18:57,788 --> 00:18:59,486
but then, you know,
we had kids and I never did.
639
00:18:59,529 --> 00:19:02,184
- Oh, it's not the same
kind of car.
640
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:03,838
It's the actual car.
641
00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:05,231
- Wait, you serious?
- Like I said,
642
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:07,363
I'm a huge fan,
so when it went to auction,
643
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:08,538
I had to get it.
644
00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,888
The only other
major bidder was...
645
00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,238
Cori.
646
00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:14,109
She wanted to surprise you.
647
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,371
- See, Kenan?
648
00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,678
- Cori's dark secret
was buying you a car.
649
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:19,332
She was the sweetest
person ever.
650
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,203
- I don't know.
651
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:23,727
After I outbid her, she
followed me to the parking lot
652
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:26,165
yelling, "This car
will Christine your ass!"
653
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,905
- [laughs]
- Yeah, well, that's my girl.
654
00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:28,993
- It actually
wasn't that funny.
655
00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:30,734
She called the house.
A lot.
656
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,214
And showed up to my work.
657
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:33,781
And somehow tricked me
into showing up to her work.
658
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,261
- Yikes.
- Wow, that's good.
659
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:38,220
Well, we both had that "can't
stop won't stop" thing.
660
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:40,614
I guess it's what we loved
about each other.
661
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:41,919
Even though it did
get us in trouble a lot.
662
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,443
- Like how you both
stalked us?
663
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,575
- Easy, I don't think anybody's
stalking anybody here.
664
00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:47,403
- Ron Sherman-Willis.
665
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,231
Man, Kenan and Mika--what
the hell
666
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,538
are all you doing here?
- What are you doing here?
667
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:54,541
- We came to kick Ron's ass.
668
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:56,107
I owe it to you, Kenan.
669
00:19:56,151 --> 00:19:58,675
Since it was my cheater DNA
that made Cori sleep
670
00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:00,373
with this creep, so I--
671
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:02,026
wait, are you a different
672
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:03,854
impossibly moisturized guy?
673
00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:05,508
- He is.
- Um--
674
00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:07,815
- Boy, your skin is dewier
than the morning grass.
675
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:10,034
- Okay, everybody leave.
- I knew that was coming.
676
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,210
- Sorry.
- We gotta go, come on.
677
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:12,733
- Is it, like,
a moisturizer or oil?
678
00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:14,125
- It is a proprietary blend.
679
00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:15,779
- I didn't lay a hand on him!
- They're gay.
680
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:17,085
♪
681
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,304
[laughter]
682
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:19,696
- Thanks for coming
to Millie's, y'all.
683
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:21,524
- Oh...
684
00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:22,699
I forgot my wallet.
685
00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:24,484
- In Florida?
- Yes.
686
00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:26,703
- Hi, dad.
I ate 15 crab cakes,
687
00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,183
so dinner's free now, right?
688
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,358
- What?
They don't have that kind
689
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,230
of contest here, girl.
Who told you that?
690
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,101
both: I ain't think
she was gonna do it.
691
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,711
- [chuckles]
- So, Kenan, how's it feel
692
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,235
being back at Millie's Counter?
693
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:37,627
- Kinda great.
694
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:40,108
I mean, it's crazy.
I was avoiding my memories,
695
00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:42,893
but this is the best
I've felt all year.
696
00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:45,244
And I've got
a new memory of Cori.
697
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:46,984
You know what, Gary?
You were right all along, bro.
698
00:20:47,028 --> 00:20:48,203
- I was?
699
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,770
That's--please don't start
listening to me.
700
00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:50,901
That's too much pressure.
701
00:20:50,945 --> 00:20:52,076
- It was a one-time thing.
- Okay.
702
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,600
- Now, if I'm being honest,
703
00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:55,471
learning how similar
Cori was to me
704
00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,125
got me all caught up and I--
705
00:20:57,168 --> 00:21:00,128
[sighs]
I felt closer to her somehow.
706
00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:02,130
Ah, that's stupid.
I know.
707
00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:03,871
- Oh, it's not stupid, man.
- Really?
708
00:21:03,914 --> 00:21:06,526
'Cause we also desecrated
a flag, stalked a man twice,
709
00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:07,962
and almost got arrested.
- Yeah.
710
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:09,746
- So I think I'll just stick
with my way
711
00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:10,747
of coping with the past.
712
00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:11,792
Thank you very Scotch.
713
00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:13,184
- Yeah, I don't blame you.
714
00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:14,751
All right,
everybody got one?
715
00:21:14,795 --> 00:21:15,970
- Mm-hmm.
716
00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:17,058
- What you say,
we move it out?
717
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,320
- Let's bounce!
- Get it.
718
00:21:18,364 --> 00:21:19,626
- Wait.
Wait, guys.
719
00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:20,627
I'm missing my shoe!
720
00:21:20,670 --> 00:21:21,802
God, no, no!
721
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:23,282
- Leave the shoe, Mika!
722
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:29,244
♪
723
00:21:29,294 --> 00:21:33,844
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